Recently in Diaryland Import Category

last night i told nick i was going to atlanta on thursday. "wow, you haven't been there in forever," he said sarcastically.

i am looking forward to the weekend. despite the fact that i was just in atlanta a month ago, i am already again feeling the need to get away, the need for a mini-vacation. to forget about work and moving and money for a few days.

ah. i let the little things stress me out.

yesterday was pretty relaxing. i watched baseball while eating cheesecake factory leftovers. i picked becca up at the airport, which was unfortunate because i had to drive all that way, but it wasn't so bad when i turned the stereo up, and now i have someone who owes me a ride to hobby on thursday. i ran, on the treadmill because of the heat, and more slowly than usual because i was tired. but i ran for 40 minutes, which is a good long run, and especially miraculous because i really hate the treadmill and can usually only stand to stay on for 20 minutes max before abandoning it for something else. i much prefer to run outside, but it was just too hot.

after running i came home, talked to nick, and looked through the entire new ikea catalog. (side note: this morning on the radio, the winner of a name-that-movie contest won everything on a random page of the new catalog. the random page turned out to be page 49, which consisted of an entire living room's worth of furniture. i am so jealous. not because i need the furniture, but simply because i adore ikea.)

such is my life.

i am sunburned. sheesh. good thing i bought some aloe gel the last time. damn my fair skin.

yesterday i got to ride a segway. you know, one of those fancy two-wheeled gyro-controlled scooters. ginger. IT. whatever they were calling it before anyone knew what it was.

anyway, turns out that a guy in my apartment complex has one, and i happened to come home from work at the same time he was riding around the parking lot. i followed him, pulled up beside him in my car, and started asking him questions. ("hi, i'm sarah in 803." "hi, i'm mike in 1301.") he bought it 3 weeks ago, and he is one of 6 people in houston that owns one ("we have a little club," he explained). apparently there's a segway store opening soon, but when i commented that i'd have to go see if they gave test rides, he offered to let me ride his. of course i jumped at the chance.

standing on it felt sort of weird at first, but if you just stand still and level the thing will balance you perfectly. all you have to do is lean forward, and you move forward. lean forward a little farther, and you move forward faster. lean back, and you move back. twist the control on the handlebar and you turn in tight little circles. you don't even have to be moving to turn--the darn thing has zero turning radius and can spin on a dime. the top speed is controlled by which magnetic key you use to turn it on.

it was so cool. if only i had $5000 to blow, i'd buy one. ("i rewired the atm at the food emporium to provide an honorarium to anyone with the code...") ah well.

when dubya tried to ride his segway, he fell off simply because he forgot to turn it on.

figures.

today was lovely. spent some time by the pool, made myself enchiladas for lunch. spent 6 hours with cari at the mall on the oh-so-crowded tax-free weekend, and had dinner with her at my favorite restaurant ever.

cheesecake. mmm.

our work is trickling into the news again. there were articles in the houston chroncle and orlando sentinel today, as well as one in yesterday's florida today. i recommend the orlando sentinel article, as it contains the most educated information.

yesterday i went to another very interesting meeting. i never would have guessed that the workings of upper management (at least when it comes to issues that i have a role in) are so fascinating. it makes me want to work my way up to that point. sort of.

last night i did a bit of shopping, but didn't have much luck. i am in search of something to wear to james and chrissy's wedding, and am sort of at a loss as to what to get. i've never been to a wedding that i haven't had my dress picked out for me (i.e. as a member of the wedding party) except for ron and buzz's back in april. but i think their wedding was much more casual than this one will be. i have no idea what i need to wear; i only know that i probably don't own something currently, since 99% of my clothes are either for normal use or work use, and the other 1% are formal dresses that would be too fancy for a wedding. hmm.

i wish there were good movies coming out this weekend. i feel like i haven't seen nearly enough good movies lately. i guess that is to be expected in the summer. time to retreat to my video and dvd collection.

jen is going to yosemite this weekend to climb half dome. ahh, half dome. i have such fond memories of my trip there, and would love to go do it again someday. in the meantime, i'm just here in houston trying to get into even better shape. actually, it has been a great week of workouts. sunday i swam, monday i biked. tuesday and wednesday nights were busy, but last night i ellipticalled. if i go running tomorrow, i'll have a grand slam.

i do love that on any given day i can swim, bike, run, or elliptical (which is sort of like running, but different, so i count it differently). it keeps my workouts interesting. and variety is the spice of life.

cari has lost all the props i gave her a few weeks ago when she recognized the movie quote. why? because she started her own online journal, and sent an email out to everyone annoucing it...everyone, that is, except me. thus, cari is a punk. instead, i had to hear it from betsy, as she was telling me how she went and read all of my july entries and felt like she was stalking me. she also said that after reading she felt like she should get me a psychiatrist, but i think she was joking. ;) i reassured her that in writing, i have a tendency to overdramatize.

hi betsy. if you had smacked the girls behind us at the concert last night, i would definitely have written about it here today.

last night kylie, betsy, katie, fred and i went up to the compaq center for the michelle branch/dixie chicks concert (the former was "only" the opening act). it was really good. i enjoyed hearing some new songs from michelle branch, since i haven't gone out and bought her new album yet. and the dixie chicks just as good as they were when i saw them three years ago...maybe better, actually. their talent sort of amazes me. they've got one girl who can sing her heart out over and over and over again without ever seeming to have an off night, and the other two are simply amazing musicians. there's probably not an instrument with strings that they can't play, and play well.

anyway, i guess i can still add a link to cari's page. and all of you who miss hearing about france ever since nick came back can now read about cari's adventures, since she'll be in strasbourg starting soon. i don't know if she'll take pictures every day, but if she does, i'm sure she'll be much more descriptive in her writing than someone was. hee. ;)

and if you don't want to go read hers right now, i will give you this highly-appropriate quote: "I have been planning to [start a diary] so that I can keep everyone up-to-date on my Great French Adventure without sending off massive e-mails now and then and mortally offending someone by leaving them off of the list."

i am so mortally offended.

hmm. today's entry is random. muchos apologies.

after the past couple days, i am reminded that being cryptic in a journal that many people from many places read is not always a good idea. mainly because it can lead to possible misunderstandings or needless worries. sadly, i forget this a lot.

anyway. i usually have one thing or another on my mind involving people and relationships, but there are better places for discussion than a public website. i will keep the things i don't want to be specific about under closer watch. meaning, not here. silly me.

c'est ca. merci beaucoup. la la la.

last night debbie, jason, chris and i headed downtown to see chicago. the musical, not the city. (hee.) it was, sadly, only ok. i wasn't crazy about the woman playing roxie, or the way mama morton always stood in one spot to sing her songs. i did, however, like billy flynn, and especially the woman playing velma. she had the perfect voice for that role. in any case, it was nice to go to "the theater." (say it in your best snooty voice.)

in the blast-from-the-past department, i got email this morning from an old TA from tech. he's about to graduate with his ph.d. and apparently still keeps in touch with karen enough to get both mine and becca's email addresses, as he found a photo from our class and wondered what we were all up to. the funniest part was this (he's french, forgive the grammar): "You always remember the smart one, the one who behave badly, the one who talk too much (I wonder who I can fit in this category ;-) )"

i'm amused. karen was definitely the smart one, but honestly, i don't know which was the one who talked too much and which was the one who behaved badly. one was becca, and one was me, i just don't know which of us was which. maybe a bit of both. (the "behaving badly" part, of course, simply refers to how often we teased him, or how many times we whined about lab reports. other than that, we were angels. hee.)

if i had to guess, becca was probably miss talk too much, while i was likely miss bad behavior. ah, how i loved to give my TA's a hard time. but all in good fun.

all in good fun...

this morning i got to go to an important meeting. for someone like me who sits at a desk all day, this was sort of exciting. my boss's boss's boss's boss was there, as well as 3 astronauts, including the commander of the next mission. it was cool, and also very interesting. good questions were asked. some bad ones too, but hey.

so when things happen in my friendships that aren't to my satisfaction, i usually blame myself. it is depressingly easy for me to come up with an action or reaction on my part that could be to blame for whatever has annoyed/frustrated/saddened me. sometimes i am the culprit, but sometimes i'm not. and sometimes it's mutual. regardless, it is even easier to forget the situation, and disappear for a while.

the problem is that i never really do forget; i only pretend to. and i never really convince myself that i couldn't have done something differently to avoid the situation in the first place.

but last week i was reminded of something i often forget, and that is that i cannot control the actions of another. that the definition of "insanity is the act of doing the same things and expecting different results." that it's not always my fault. and that all i can do is be myself and hope that people will remember the good things and forgive the bad. or, as is sometimes the case with me, forgive not the bad but simply the unreasonable.

tonight i'm going to chicago. the musical, not the city. ha.

i'm a well-adjusted, intelligent person, and yet there are still some things that leave me feeling like a 5-year-old. i let my feelings be hurt. and i can't make decisions.

i agonized all weekend over what to do now that debbie has found a new place to live, thus negating plans for her to live with nick and me. on saturday, i decided that it would probably be best for me to stay on my own. i went over to the apartment complex office to find out what my options were, because i don't want to leave my current place, and yet i need to save money.

last night i laid in bed tossing and turning until after midnight. on my mind was the fact that i am moving. yes, moving, most likely at the end of august, though it might not be until the end of september. not far, in fact only about 200 feet, from my apartment in building 8 to one in building 9. the new apartment is smaller, thus its rent is cheaper. i'll save $220 a month, plus a bit on electricity since there's less square footage to heat and air condition.

i know this is a good, sound decision, and that it is the smart thing to do. and yet i can't help but feel like i'm admitting defeat. as if i'm saying that i can't afford my current place, when i can. as if moving is admitting that i made a mistake by moving into my current apartment, in all its luxuriousness. which is all just one big mind game my brain is playing with itself, but still.

i love my current apartment. absolutely love it. when i move to the smaller one, i know there will be a period when i miss this one, and probably when i regret moving. next spring, when i have enough money to buy a new car, i'll know that i made the right decision. but right now it makes me a little sad.

it sucks when something is bothering you, and you have no one you feel like you can share it with. the move, and a few other things, are on my mind and no one can fix them but me. i know this, and yet i still wish i could pass the dilemmas off to someone else.

(2:14 p.m.)

i want to go to california. work has been too dull this summer.

i was/am so caught up in my own little sagas that i forgot to comment earlier on lance armstrong's fifth tour de france win. i watched the rebroadcast last night on the outdoor tv station, and smiled. for the past couple years i've cultivated a mini-obsession with lance armstrong, and i suppose this win won't do anything to diminish it. i find him fascinating. that's all.

anyway, congrats to lance, wherever he is. (well, he's in france of course, but you know what i mean.)

friday night leila and i went to the counting crows/john mayer concert. it was good, but i've seen both better, the former at the tabernacle in atlanta in 1999 and the latter at the backyard in austin last year. the crowd wasn't really into it, which could have just been a factor of where we were sitting (way back on the lawn), but i'm not sure. and the sound was a bit off; there were times when adam duritz sounded tunnel-ish, and when i couldn't hear john mayer fooling around on his guitar. a bit frustrating. but overall, fun. it was good to see leila. when we get together, there is always much laughter and reminiscing.

this morning i learned how to program a garage door, after accidentally leaving both of my openers in the car. which was in the garage. yeah.

so debbie will not be joining nick and me in a house this fall, after receiving an offer she can't refuse (to live in someone's house rent-free for 7 months while they go to russia). i'd bail too if i had that kind of deal, but now i'm all conflicted about what to do. should i just stay where i am? but then i won't save any money. should i move? ok, but where. to a smaller apartment, to a different complex, to a house? do nick and i still want to be roommates? sigh. i am at a loss. i don't know what to do, and i need to decide by the end of july (i.e. next week). eek. advice is welcome.

tonight is the long-awaited john mayer/counting crows concert. leila's driving down from austin this afternoon. wahoo.

i dreamed last night that i missed softball. we play softball on thursdays, i.e. tonight, so i didn't miss it. i have no idea why i had such a random yet ordinary dream.

last night debbie and i went to check out a house listed for rent on the swap shop. it was pretty nice. four bedrooms, nice sized living room, two car garage, fresh paint, big backyard. it's definitely a possibility, except it lacks the hardwood floors that nick wants/requires, so we shall see. on the way home, debbie and i got lost and ended up driving in from the far end of el dorado. as we passed some huge houses, we decided to double back and take a look. the neighborhood was bay oaks, which i'd never even heard of and didn't even know was there, but it was incredible. the houses back there are huge. out of curiosity, we picked up a few fliers from the homes that were for sale, including one advertising a virtual palace that's going for the bargain basement price of $2,400,000. i am very curious to know who has the money to live back there...

last night before i went to bed i had a brilliant idea. if it works, it will combine something that i really want to do (organize a race) with something that really needs to be done (fund an event). woohoo!

swimming has to be one of the most relaxing things in the world. in late july, the water has warmed up enough that you never have to be afraid of jumping right in.

one of my favorite things to do in a pool is to put some goggles on, sink down to rest on my back on the bottom, and watch the underside of the water's surface. sometimes i blow bubbles, liking the way they bob and spin as they float up before breaking on the surface. swimming in the rain is even better, watching the drops sploosh into the pool and listening to the sound of water on water. it sounds sort of like the ocean.

last night it wasn't raining, but i did have a good swim. i was tired, and didn't want to run, or bike, or use the elliptical machine. the pool, however, was perfect. i swam 20 laps for exercise and 5 more just to play. for once, i was the only one there.

i like swimming laps. i always feel strong and powerful in a pool. stroke, stroke, kick, kick. i tend to breathe by turning my head to the right, because i'm more comfortable that way, but i've started working on breathing to the left as well. i count strokes as i swim each length, trying to stay consistent, making sure i don't slow down, even though it feels like i am. the harder i have to breathe, and the more my hair starts to fall into my face (despite my best efforts with the clips), the slower i feel like i'm going. but it turns out i'm actually not slowing. i maintain the same speed, or at least stroke count, even as i tire.

at the end of a good swimming workout, i notice two things. first, my cheeks burn. every other part of my body is cool, because of the water, but my cheeks are always on fire. i'm sure my face gets quite red. second, my fingers and knuckles ache. i can only assume that this is from squeezing my fingers tightly together, and cupping my hands just so as i pull myself through the water. when i can really feel the weight of the water against my palms, i feel like i'm doing well.

i never do flip turns anymore. i'm sure i can still do them, but i wonder how effective they'd be. i haven't practiced them since i was 15-years-old and finishing my mediocre career on the ol' swim team. i never could get the rhythm of butterfly just right, and dreaded being asked to swim IM. but i could hold my own in the freestyle and backstroke, and often won the breaststroke. my favorite event was the IM relay; i always swam breaststroke.

i climbed out of the pool last night tired and smiling. i read a few chapters in my book as the sun went down and dusk settled in. debbie came over for a swim. soon it was too dark to read, and i headed home, happy.