Thursday, September 06, 2007

Something about being a rendezvous trainee makes me feel extremely insecure. I worry that I'm not picking things up fast enough. I worry that I'm missing opportunities. But I don't actually do anything about it.

This morning I had planned to watch the rendezvous sim going on all day. But I overslept and by the time I got in, the star tracker pass (the first major event of the rendezvous) was already over. So I didn't go to the sim.

Then I got an email that said "Not coming?" As in, are you not coming to the sim?

And that just made me start second-guessing myself to no end. They're simming issues that I haven't seen before, so I probably should have gone. I should have gone just to listen to the discussion on the backroom loops and get an idea of how I can improve my communication. Shoulda coulda woulda.

Even now, I sit here as if I'm paralyzed. I could still go downstairs and watch. I'm sure I could still pick up some good information. And yet here I sit.

I'm losing my drive and my motivation to be proactive. Reading is getting really, really old, but generic sims that I can work as a trainee are few and far between. I am left feeling useless, frustrated, and insecure. I have been in this group for almost a year and have little to show for it.

Ah well. It's my blog. I'm allowed to vent.

Update: My Dad just called to say it's not really venting, it's just me beating myself up and that I should be ok with my decisions. He's probably right.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Lately I have been sucking at my job.
Today I sucked some more.
I'm tired of sucking at my job.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

My job does not often run on an even keel. There are weeks that are very dull, when I have little to do but sit in the office and use the downtime to clean out my email inbox. Then there are weeks when I have so much to do that I barely see my desk. Contrary to popular belief, it's the busy weeks that are the fun weeks. The satisfying weeks. Lately things have been very slow, as I lamented last week. Yesterday, however, was awesome.

The very cool space shuttle pilot training that I've been doing since June is sadly coming to a close. I am going to miss all the classes because let's face it: learning how to fly the space shuttle is like one giant video game. And I get paid to do it! If that weren't enough, the training has actually been hugely helpful in preparing me to do my job as a rendezvous flight controller. See, unlike most of the people in the control center, rendezvous doesn't own a system. We're not in charge of the computers, or the engines, or the life support, or any of that. Our system is the crew themselves. We "own" the people who are actually flying the vehicle, and we have to know what they're doing in order to do our job properly. That's why we go through the same pilot training as the crew.

Up until now we've been training in the dome, which has a copy of the aft cockpit of the shuttle and visuals of what you'd see out the windows. It's an excellent simulator, but it still doesn't feel completely real, and it's basically run by a couple desktop computers that simulate what all the actual shuttle hardware does. We've also been training in bits and pieces, concentrating on one small phase of flight per session.

Yesterday, all of the training came together and we did one huge session in the real simulator. We flew the entire rendezvous, all 5 hours from the final big course correction burn to docking. And we flew it in one of the best simulators we have: a full mockup of the shuttle flight deck, with real hardware and real wires and the same computers that the real vehicle has.

Flying a rendezvous requires a minimum of two people, and we had to divide up the tasks accordingly. The commander does the majority of the actual flying (i.e. hand on the stick), while the pilot makes inputs to the computer and ensures that everyone is on the timeline and that the checklist is being accurately followed. On an actual mission, there would be a third person handling the tools and preparing the docking system, but in training the commander and pilot shared those tasks. Yesterday we decided that Jose would be the commander and I would be the pilot. (Yes, we work in the same group. We did not work in the same group when we started dating, but we do now. No comments from the peanut gallery please. It has not been a problem thus far.) It worked really well. Jose is a little better at the flying and reacting quickly to failures, but I am the checklist queen. I am great at being a stickler for the procedures and making sure we stay on task.

Jose sitting in the commander's seat. The first few hours of rendezvous are flown from the forward cockpit.

Me sitting in the pilot's seat.

The center console between the commander and pilot seats.

The aft cockpit, aka where the magic happens. The last two hours of rendezvous are flown here, from the back of the flight deck.

It was a good day indeed. I have only two more lessons, both unofficial quizzes to test my knowledge, and then the pilot pool training will be done. I still have many sims to go before I am certified, but the pilot training in particular has been one of the most fun things I've done here.

(If you are interested in finding out what some of the zillions of switches are, there are notes on the photos if you view them on Flickr.)

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Speak of the 200-mile running relay you plan on doing next March, and the New York Times publishes an article the next day about such events. That's me. Tipping off the New York Times. Oh yeah.

STS-118 had a beautiful launch yesterday and will be spending the next two weeks circling the earth. I'm not working this mission so I simply watched the launch from the conference room down the hall with a few coworkers. However, this is the last mission in a long while that will have no Sarah involvement. I'll be working the launch of STS-120 in October, and working the launch of STS-122 in December. I'll be helping my trainee work her first launch for STS-123 in February. Things will get extremely busy in April, when I work the launch of STS-124 and then work the rendezvous two days later. Later in 2008, I'll be working one of the "off" shifts for both STS-125 (the Hubble flight) and STS-126; by "off" shift, I mean the non-rendezvous shift. That means my work will be minimal, but hey, I'll still be supporting.

That means I won't have a mission off until STS-127. Then, if all goes well with my training and with the flight schedule, I look to be in line to be assigned as the lead Rendezvous GPO for STS-128 sometime in 2009. That's when you will finally get to see me on TV. It will be my one shining moment before the shuttle program goes away. 2009 seems far away, but I suppose it will get here eventually.

Until then, I have a lot more reading to do.

I saved this until last so I can sneak it in: I officially upgraded from the half to the full marathon today. I signed up for the Half a couple months ago before I'd thought about joining BAF. Now, it seems hypocritical to say I'm training for a marathon when I'm only signed up for the half. I hesitated for a bit, because after my first marathon in 2005, I told myself that my next one would be somewhere else. Not Houston. But I guess I was wrong. I am officially signed up for Houston. It will be my second marathon.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

My officemate is funny. He built a very high-tech cradle for his new phone/PDA and it was so popular that he is now selling it on ebay. Don't wait, bid now!

The coke machine downstairs is broken, but in a good way. If you buy one drink, sometimes a second one falls out too. You have to wait a few seconds to see if you get lucky, and it seems to only happen with the Diet Dr. Pepper, but no complaints here. I got another free one today!

I stayed up until 2 a.m. to finish Harry Potter. I didn't intend on doing so, but once the finale had started to build it was too hard to stop, and that happened when there were still 150 pages to go. So I kept reading and finished. It was good. It ended just about like I expected it to. I was satisfied.

I am TIRED today, because I then had to get up early for a training session. We are currently working on starting the manual phase of rendezvous, which was fun. On Monday we finally stepped up from rendezvous with small satellites to rendezvous with the space station. We flew approaches all the way in to docking, and I realized that the space station is big. Very big. And even at 0.1 feet per second, it looks like it's coming at you fast. Very fast. I can only imagine what it would feel like if I were an astronaut doing it for real.

Despite my fatigue, have promised myself that I will run after work because I skipped yesterday. It's gonna be a rough one, I can tell already. I'm gulping water trying to get rid of a slight headache. I originally planned to do some speedwork, but I may take it easy instead.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

I often worry that I am a "grass is greener" person.

This is not necessarily a bad thing, because sometimes the grass really is greener on the other side -- so maybe it's more accurate to say that I often worry that I always think things would be better elsewhere.

I have been in a work slump since the launch. Working the launch was so exciting, and what I had to come back to post-mission is extremely unexciting. I am reading. Reading, reading, reading. Reading about rendezvous, reading about systems, reading about flight rules. Training to be a flight controller may sound glamorous (and don't get me wrong -- sims and the pilot training I'm currently doing are lots of fun), but there is a dull and boring side to it as well. I'm only halfway through all the material I need to read, and I feel like I can't read another sentence without going crazy.

Yesterday was particularly bad, and I left work thinking that maybe I should just quit, take classes full time to finish my graphic design M.S. from UHCL, and find a new job as a designer/web person extraordinaire.

But if I did that full time, would I enjoy it as much?

Not to mention that despite my pipe dreams, I'm not sure I'm truly qualified to work in that field.

Things are getting better though. Finally -- finally! -- I am getting into the meat of training. I have my first rendezvous sim on Friday, and I made the mistake of looking at the list of evaluations that are also happening that day. It will be my first sim, but it will also be a FDO final, a TRAJ midpoint, and a GNC midpoint. Main point being: those people will have problems to work, and their problems will almost certainly affect me. Little old me. Little old greenhorn me.

Fortunately my mentor will be there to help me, so I'm actually not too worried. If I mess up too badly, I can just blame him. ;)

Friday, June 22, 2007

Despite my lingering tendancy to be directionally challenged, what I've decided to call "Space Shuttle Pilot School" is going well. On Wednesday I had my first session in the dome. The dome consists of the shuttle's aft cockpit, with aft and overhead windows, and all the switches and controls just like the real shuttle. Surrounding the cockpit is a dome-shaped screen. There are projectors that show computerized views of whatever you'd expect to see out the window for the particular situation you're simulating -- a satellite, the earth, the space station, etc.

Let me just say that it is way cool to get to fly the fancy simulator. I almost feel like an astronaut! In our first session we practiced approaching a satellite on the Vbar (i.e. approaching from the front), stationkeeping on the Rbar (i.e. sitting stationary above it), and maneuvering to get the satellite in the end effector of the robot arm (i.e. seeing the satellite with the camera in the end of the arm and lining up to grab it).

Very fun. Those are the days when I love my job.

No running, biking, or swimming last night, but I did play softball. After going basically hitless for what seemed like weeks, I can now cautiously say that I may have turned a corner. Last week I went 3-for-4 and last night I went 2-for-3. After getting some advice from Matt, I have stepped a bit farther back in the batter's box and have stopped choking up on the bat. Seems to be working so far, and I find softball much more enjoyable when I'm not an automatic out.

Mom's flight arrived early, though the website hadn't indicated that and therefore I was 20 minutes late picking her up. We didn't get home until 11:30, so it was 12:45 before I got to bed. I'm sleepy!

Thursday, June 21, 2007

STS-117 is hopefully coming home today after a wild 'n crazy mission. The weather is cloudy with scattered storms in Florida though, so they may not make it in. I worked the launch, but I'm only a spectator for the landing. But speaking of the mission, here I am in the backroom watching the undocking on Tuesday. Those are the undocking procedures in my lap. We weren't even looking at the displays because at that point we were watching the pretty pictures on TV. ;)

Can you believe they didn't take any photos of the backroom during launch? Dang! My first mission, and I don't even have a record of me working it.

My mom arrives tonight for a 5 day visit, so I spent some time last night cleaning. Now my mom has known me for, oh, more than 29 years, so she knows that my apartment is always in a state of clutter. I organize by the "pile method." I have a lot of stuff, and I keep most of it neatly stacked in various piles around the room. She knows this, so I don't feel an overwhelming need to hide my piles.

I do, however, feel the need to clean things that have the potential to make her question how successful she was in raising me. (For the record, she was very successful.) This means wiping down the countertop in the bathroom, vacuuming the floor, putting fresh sheets on the bed, taking out the trash, and cleaning out the refrigerator.

I threw away everything in the fridge that was old or expired. I was left with what's in the photo. While it's not quite approaching bachelor level, it's certainly proof that I eat out far too much. I'd be hard-pressed to make a full meal out of anything in there. (Go to the Flickr page to see notes on what's in there.)

I skipped BAFT's bike-run workout last night in favor of a solid hour on the bike, since I hadn't ridden in three weeks. I left my apartment at 6:00 and did two laps around JSC plus a bit at the end to end up with 15.5 miles in about 57 minutes. I felt good on the first loop. I felt horrible on the second loop -- tired and slightly nauseous. The slightly nauseous feeling has been common lately. My best guess is that I'm just not totally adjusted to the hot weather yet. I've always had a tendency to overheat quickly, and as a kid I often got heat rash. My guess is that the stomach discomfort is just a touch of heat exhaustion. Whatever it is, I hope it's just a passing thing.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

So the iPhone comes out on June 29. This is all well and good, and I'll be curious to see who will be the first person I know to get one. (Potentially me, due to my love of all things tech, but thus far I have remained immune to the iPhone's charms.) But here's my stupid question -- what cell phone service does it work with? I've done a cursory look through the webpage and I can't find the answer to that simple question. What service is going to offer the iPhone? I remember hearing rumors that it was Cingular (which I guess is now AT&T). But I can't find any confirmation. It seems like that's a key detail that is missing...

Today I get to start in the "How To Fly The Space Shuttle" training flow. It's the training flow that all pilot astronauts take, and as a future Rendezvous GPO, I get to take it as well so that I understand both how the vehicle flies and what the astronauts are doing when they're flying it. When I'm done with the training, I'll be certified to fly the space shuttle, just like any other pilot astronaut. So if, you know, they ever need me...I'll be ready!

Saturday, June 09, 2007

I overslept this morning and missed BAFT's 25-mile ride. I guess I was pretty worn out after the long week and the excitement of last night.

I'm so happy today. Last night I finally got to be where I wanted to be. I'm not sure I actually realized that until the engines stopped, I heard "MECO confirmed," and I slumped in my chair, letting out the breath that I swear I'd been holding for the entire eight and a half minutes since engine ignition. But I was right where I wanted to be, even if it took 5 years to get there.

I don't know if I'll stay at NASA when the shuttle stops flying, and I don't have any idea what kind of career I might have going on in another 5 years. But last night was awesome.

I arrived on console at 11:00 and though I didn't leave until almost 8:00, it felt like no more than a couple hours. The first few hours were calm. I didn't have any immediate actions since everything had already been fully checked out the day before, so I spent the time organizing my data and reviewing all of my procedures, with special attention to the particularly complicated cases. I couldn't help but think that while everything was likely to go extremely nominally, I certainly didn't want to be the weak link on the one day that something did go wrong. I got my brain up to speed and working and felt much more confident.

Around 3:00, we got the final numbers on how much oxygen and hydrogen was actually loaded into the external tank. The actual numbers are always slightly different than the predicted numbers, and I have to make some adjustments to the ARD to account for that.

An hour and a half later, there was another flurry of activity as we got the final updates to the ascent trajectory. The first stage trajectory, before the SRBs are jettisioned, actually changes based on the winds and atmosphere in Florida as measured by weather balloons. Those last-minute trajectory changes have to get into the ARD as well.

Nex thing I knew, we were coming out of the T-9:00 hold! As the countdown neared zero, my heart was pounding so hard that I could hear it in my ears. If I'd been wearing a heart rate monitor, I'm sure it would have read 120 or more. I was certain I was going to have a heart attack right then and there!

I stared at my displays, watching the numbers, making sure they all were what I expected. There was a TV right in my peripheral vision tuned to NASA TV, and out of the corner of my eye I saw the flash of the engines lighting at liftoff.

Inside my head, I was incredulous. "Holy crap! Holy crap! Holy crap!" went my internal monologue. "This is for real! Holy crap!"

At 20 seconds, we got the indication of how the SRBs were performing via a TDEL, or time measurement between when we expect to reach a given velocity and when we actually do. Anything between -0.21 and 0.21 is nominal, and every time we saw a nominal value in the pre-flight sims, it was 0.072. It's just a peculiarity of the sim that it always shows the same number for nominal.

Yesterday that number was 0.112. For a moment, I scrambled, scanning my chart to see how our throttles would change because the SRBs were a bit hotter than expected. But wait! 0.112 is less than 0.21! It's a nominal bucket! I made my call: "Nominal bucket." The engines throttled down, and back up, and all was well except the pounding in my chest.

The SRBs separated and I made my standard checks. Our targets were good, and the OMS Assist started as scheduled. We looked at the thrust update calculation, which gives us a measure of how the shuttle is performing compared to our model of it, and it was -2, with a thrust update of -99. "Go flag -2," I called. Pound, pound, pound went my heart.

The thrust trend continued to go slightly down, and I called TRAJ to make him aware of it. We only shared a few words, but as I pointed out a minor correction to something he'd said, suddenly, something clicked inside my head.

It no longer felt like a real launch. It felt like a sim! A very nominal sim.

My heart rate slowed down immediately. I fell into my normal rhythm. And everything after that was cake.

"MECO confirmed." I sat back in my chair, let out a big breath, smiled, and turned to my mentor, who had been there the whole day as an observer, standard procedure for someone working their first flight.

"That just made everything worth it."

Friday, June 08, 2007

Successful launch, and the ARD was go. ;)
Full recap tomorrow...

Friday, June 08, 2007

It's launch day!

A year and a half ago, I began training to work space shuttle launches. Six months ago I certified. And today, I'll work my first mission.

I'm so excited!

Monday, June 04, 2007

Today is L-4. Four days to the launch of STS-117. Four days until I work my first shuttle ascent. And four days to do a huge amount of work that involves setting, checking, and rechecking flight-critical data. It's really not possible to get much of a jump on things -- products are delivered according to a set schedule, and one product leads into the next such that we go through periods of waiting for data followed by periods of concentrating hard to get that data where it needs to be.

Someone is always working. By Friday, everyone will be always working.

Sometimes it's hard for me to remember that I can't do everything. Because I'm the kind of person that wants to do everything. It never seems to fail: when I am busiest, there is always something else that I wish I had time for. I really want to be able to work my first rendezvous sim tomorrow, even though I have been told by multiple people that I really need to set aside this entire week for launch preparation. My mentor, while giving me final instructions before leaving on vacation this week (which I will take as a sign that he trusts me to do things right, not that he thinks I am beyond hope), explicity said to me: "If anything non-flight related comes up next week, just say no. Seriously. Say no."

I didn't tell him that I had already agreed to work the rendezvous sim tomorrow. A generic rendezvous sim that lasts for 8 hours and has nothing to do with the mission.

This morning we had our last ascent sim before the flight on Friday. The sim itself went ok, but I managed to royally screw up the database by making what I thought was a very simple change. It was fixable, and we fixed it, but it left me frazzled. Then I started talking to the others, discussing when certain products will be delivered for me to use in the scripts and processes I have to have completed by the end of Wednesday. A couple products will be available later this afternoon. A major product won't be available until tomorrow.

And finally -- finally! -- I realized that trying to work a rendezvous sim tomorrow is just about the dumbest thing I could possibly do this week. I need to be focusing my full concentration on this launch, not a generic sim. A sim is just a sim. I wanted to work it badly, because it would have been my first rendezvous sim. My first sim in my new job.

But this launch is the real deal. I can't afford to not be thinking about it.

I don't know why I didn't just listen to what everyone was telling me in the first place. Sometimes I just really want to have the cake and eat it too. Cake can be refrigerated and saved for a little later, right?

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Today was the first of two days of evaluation sims. These sims are always uber-stressful because people are watching you and taking notes on your every move. Fortunately for me, neither day involves an evaluation of me. Ha!

This morning was Bini's midpoint. Bini works in my old group and is my first official trainee, since she is training to be an ARD Support, the position that I certified for six months ago. The midpoint is an "easier" evaluation in the sense that you can't fail. It's not designed to be the final test of whether you can function as a console operator even when the world is coming apart around you. Instead, it's simply a hard sim designed to challenge you beyond what you've seen thus far in your training, expose your weaknesses, and give your trainer a good idea of how you're progressing.

I found out that it's much more fun to be the evaluator than the evaluatee (yes, I know, that's probably not a word). I also found out that I shouldn't make fun of Marc, the guy who trained me, for the novel-length "narrative summary" he'd hand me a few days after each of my evaluations. It turns out that it takes a lot of writing to cover everything thoroughly, and being thorough is very helpful to your trainee. I filled the front and back of a sheet of paper with my handwriting scribbles -- for each individual run. Four runs is four sheets of paper. When I organize all my thoughts and type it out, it will also be novel-length.

After the sim, I told Bini that even though I'd said it wasn't a pass/fail evaluation, she passed. And she did. She did great. She has exactly the strengths and weaknesses that I would expect for someone who is halfway through their training. In fact, I think she may have done better than I expected. Excellent.

Tomorrow is Jose's Rendezvous Support cert qual. It's the "pre-final" before your final certification sim. It's usually the hardest sim that you see in all of your training, even harder than the final, since it's really designed to make sure that you're ready for a final. Tomorrow there are five evaluations on the schedule in so many disciplines that it will be amazing if the fake shuttle manages to dock in one piece. Evaluations mean one thing: trouble. Tomorrow there will be lots of trouble. It's a Data Processing Systems final front room cert, so there will be major problems with the computers. There are backroom evaluations for guidance, communications, and propulsion, so there will be problems with all of those systems. And the piece de resistance -- all of those systems affect rendezvous. So all of those systems affect Jose.

I'm watching so that when my turn comes, I can tell myself that "it can't possibly be as bad as his cert qual!"

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Happy Birthday Jose!

I could say some schmoopy things to go along with that, but I won't. It's my boy's birthday and I am doing my best to make it a good one. He already got his present -- an Astros jersey that I gave him on Saturday so he could wear it to the game that night. He says having a jersey makes him want to go to even more games. Exactly. All part of my evil plan...

It's been a weird day. I had a training class that was scheduled from 11-1, which of course is the worst possible time block for a training class. The only person willing to wait until 1:00 to eat lunch in honor of Jose's birthday was Nick (and Heather, who met us there), which turned out to be just fine. Because we ate lunch so late, we didn't get back until almost 3:00. The day's almost over and it feels like I just got here.

My training class was fun, but my brain was just not firing on all cylinders today. Take, for example, my stunning display of coordinate system logic as I tried to figure out which way to push the stick to do a +Z burn. (That's firing the jets on top of the orbiter that fire up, thus pushing you in the +Z direction, which is in the direction the belly of the vehicle is facing.)

In trying to figure out which way to push the stick, I decided that since I knew that +X was pushing in (forward) and +Y was pushing right, I'd use the right hand rule to figure out where +Z was.

I did it once and the answer was to pull the stick out. Hmm. That's not right. In is +X, so out must be -X, not +Z. Oh, I realized, I'd inadvertently pointed +X in the up direction instead of into the console.

I did it again and the answer was to push the stick up. "Think again," my instructor told me. But I used the right hand rule, I thought, it has to be up.

Then I remembered why the right hand rule is so aptly named. It's because it only works when you use your RIGHT HAND.

I'd been sitting there doing the right hand rule with my left hand.

Some days I think I'd be better off at home. My brain obviously never got to work today.

Friday, May 18, 2007

I survived my first rendezvous (well, undocking) sim!

It was extremely nominal, so there wasn't much opportunity to screw up. That's always nice when you're starting out.

The most amusing "mistake" was that while I knew I had to have separate permissions for the workstations for both my old and new console positions, I didn't realize that the separation applied to the PCs as well. When I tried to publish a flight note with the undock timeline, it kept getting sent to the FDO working directory no matter how many times I put "GPO" in the address line. I was made fun of for that, don't worry. "RPS still wants to be a FDO..."

I may not be able to publish a flight note to the correct directory yet, but rest assured that I am very happy here in GPO-land. :)

(For non-NASA folks, here's some background. FDO is Flight Dynamics Officer. That's who I work with during launch and ascent in my position as ARD Support. RGPO is Rendezvous Guidance and Procedures Officer. That's what I'm training to be now, starting out by certifying as RPS, Rendezvous Procedures Support, a backroom position. When I'm done with that -- hopefully by the end of the year -- I will train for RGPO in the front room. The front room is the one you see on TV. A key point is that both FDO and RGPO are involved in a rendezvous. Put simply, FDO deals with all ground-targeted burns, and RGPO takes over once we start using the orbiter's onboard guidance and targeting to compute burns. RGPO continues to work during the final phase of rendezvous, otherwise known as proximity operations or prox ops, when the crew is manually flying the orbiter. Because FDO and RGPO are both involved in the rendezvous, there is much good-natured arguing and ribbing about who really is in charge of rendezvous.)

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

The post-lunch slump hit me hard today. I was sitting here, eyes drooping, wondering how I'd make it through the rest of the afternoon.

Then the emergency warning system siren went off.

We all looked around the office and did the mental math. It's not the first Thursday of the month, and it's not noon. What could it be? Someone produced the handy cheat sheet explaining what each siren means. Turns out that a 3-5 minute wavering tone indicates an air raid or attack (conventional or nuclear).

Oh, that's all? Pssh. No worries.

Twenty minutes later, an email was circulated. It was an accidental siren, and once it got started it wouldn't respond to any "off" commands.

Ironically, the timing coincided with a shelter-in-place order issued for Texas City (about 10 miles south) after the BP plant (the one that blew up a few years ago) started spewing a clay-like dust into the air. Winds are from the south today. Lovely.

When the shuttle program ends, I'm so moving.

Friday, December 22, 2006

Against all odds, the crew

Against all odds, the crew has just been given a GO for the deorbit burn for the 2nd opportunity into KSC. This trajectory will bring the orbiter almost directly over Houston, and while it will be next to impossible to see it, you should be able to hear the sonic booms if you listen closely. Here are the details:

4:13:50 p.m. CST - Discovery rises above the WSW horizon
4:16:40 p.m. CST - Discovery closest approach, 70 degrees above the NNW horizon
4:20:00 p.m. CST - Discovery sets below the ENE horizon

If you can hear the sonic booms, they will be right around 4:20 p.m. give or take a minute. I'll be listening!

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Weather prediction has totally got

Weather prediction has totally got to be some kind of black magic. The weather guys forecast and forecast, and they still don't always get it right until it's basically upon them. I don't believe we'll ever be able to predict the weather entirely. Control it, maybe someday, but not predict it.

When I went in to work this afternoon, I rolled my eyes a bit at the thought that we were even trying to launch today. A 70% chance of no-go weather? If chances are bad, it's always a gamble to bring in the entire launch team -- hundreds of people at both JSC and KSC. But the decision had been made to start loading the external tank with propellant, and if you're gonna do that, you might as well try to launch!

What a difference a couple hours can make.

Next thing I know, the weather in Florida is beautiful, the weather in Spain and France is beautiful, and suddenly 3...2...1...

LIFT-OFF!

     

Thursday, December 07, 2006

I really thought we were

I really thought we were going to launch. I had such a good feeling. We counted down to T-5 minutes! Then...nothing. Hold. The launch window ended and that was it.

There will be no attempt tomorrow; we'll try again on Saturday. If not then, I'm guessing we'll try again Sunday, which means I'll have to miss the Jingle Bell Run.

C'est la vie.

It was far more disappointing to experience a launch scrub in the control center than it is when I'm just watching on TV at home.

Monday, December 04, 2006

When I passed my ARD

When I passed my ARD Support cert sim on the day before Thanksgiving, I actually only finished half of the job.

A flight controller's on-console skills -- detailed technical knowledge combined with good communications -- are the most visible and vital piece of the certification puzzle. If you're bad on console, you will find yourself hard-pressed to ever get certified and thus work an actual mission. On-console skills are the one piece a flight controller's job that can't be entirely taught. Everything else is just knowledge. With the proper training, anyone can learn the off-console tasks.

But then there's all this off-console stuff. Answering questions, completing tasks, and learning all the background work that goes into preparing for a flight.

ARD Support involves a lot of off-console tasks. In fact, once certified, an ARD Support Officer like me will spend 99% of her time supporting a mission doing off-console tasks. Eight minutes of real-time operations are backed up by hours and hours (and hours) of pre-flight checks.

Because such a large portion of this flight control position involves tasks that can only be done when preparing for an actual mission (as opposed to the sims we run so frequently), I still have to follow all the prep for a mission before I can officially be certified.

STS-116, launching on Thursday night, is that mission. Marc is ARD Support, and thus I have been Marc's shadow since at least last week, and will continue to follow him like a lemming until we launch. Today, for example, I spent an hour reading numbers while Marc checked them off a printout. Every single one was correct. And yet every single one had to be checked. Teeeediiiious.

I spent all day indoors, with no windows, in the dull and dim lighting of Mission Control. Because I've only done ascent sims thus far in my flight control career, I'm used to being in the control center for about 4 hours. Today I was there for almost 9, and I'll be there for the same amount of time, if not longer, over the new few days.

In the control center, with no windows, time starts to do some very funny things. It slows down. It speeds up. It ceases to matter entirely. I found myself repeatedly looking up from my monitor with the sudden thought: "What time is it? What day is it? Where am I again?"

Of course I wouldn't have it any other way, but at the same time, I think there's a reason we don't see this stuff until the of our training flow: if we saw it any earlier, we might re-think whether we wanted to do it in the first place. ;)

Monday, September 11, 2006

It's 7 a.m. and I'm

It's 7 a.m. and I'm sitting here at my desk struggling to keep my eyes open. If I can make it until 9:00, I will have gotten my 8 hours for the day. Yes, I came in at 1 a.m. No, I'm not crazy.

This morning I got a sneak preview of what my job will be in a couple years, once I'm done learning and training and am certified to work as a Rendezvous Guidance and Procedures Officer. We started the rendezvous around 1:30 a.m. and finally docked to the space station at about 5:45. It was very cool. I have a lot to learn.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Yay! We launched!

Yay! We launched!

Friday, September 08, 2006

We get our work computers

We get our work computers from a contractor who replaces them every three years. This wouldn't be too much of an issue if we got top-of-the-line machines each time; they'd easily get us through three years. But we don't. My current machine has only 40 GB of drive space (partioned into two 20 GB "drives," such that I am only allowed to store my data on one of the partitions, meaning I'm constantly running out of disk space) and an astounding 256 MB of memory.

Today, my groaning, chugging, hulking lump of a computer is finally, finally, getting refreshed. Nevermind that due to poor prodecures on the contractor side, this refresh process will take the entire day, leaving me sitting around twiddling my thumbs and attempting to get some work done on Matt's computer (since he's in Florida for the good-grief-is-it-ever-gonna-happen shuttle launch). I'm just happy to finally be getting a computer that won't take 5 mintues to boot and 30 seconds to open an email.

The best part of the conversation with my refresh guy so far though has got to have been the part that dealt with my monitor. The computers come with 17" monitors. Most people in my group, including me, have gotten 21" monitors over the years, bought by our group and not the contractor, since the larger monitors are better for all the analysis and charts and graphs we have to do. My big monitor, however, technically belongs to my current group, and since I am leaving soon to move down the hall, I need to both keep the big monitor and get one of the standard 17" flat panels.

Tech Guy: "Do you want to keep the big monitor or do you want the standard one?"

Me: "Both. I'm moving and will need the standard one in a few weeks. For now, can you just leave it in the box and put it under my desk?"

Tech Guy: "Ummmmmmmm......we have to take it out of the box."

Me: "Ok, can you take it out of the box, and then just put it on my desk and I'll set it up on my own when I move?"

Tech Guy: "Ummmmmm, well, see, if you accept the monitor, we're required to set it up for you."

Me: "Really?"

Tech Guy: "Unfortunately, yes."

Me: "But it's, like, a power cable and a video cable. That's it. I can do it on my own later."

Tech Guy: "Yeah, but the concern is that if we leave the monitor sitting around, it will walk away."

Me: "You realize this is absurd, right?"

Tech Guy: "Absolutely."

Me: "Ok. Can you set up my new monitor, leave the big one on my desk, and then when you're gone I can switch them back and you can say you never knew anything about it?"

Tech Guy: "That'll work."

And so it goes.

Often, the tech guys seem as if they can't think on their own. I'm happy that this time I've got a guy who will at least make fun of the refresh policies with me, even if he can't do anything about them.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

I shall from now on

I shall from now on refer to STS-115 as the "Will They, Won't They?" shuttle mission.

Lightning strike. Hurricane. What's next? Locusts?

So we decide to roll back to the VAB. We drain the fuel tanks and disconnect the shuttle from all the stuff at the pad. We leave the launch pad and get halfway back to the VAB...

Wait! Maybe the winds won't be that bad. Stop -- reverse.

We are now heading back to the launch pad.

Will we? Won't we?

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

My "midterm" is over and

My "midterm" is over and it went pretty crappy. I feel like I was unprepared, and then on top of that, I got sucker punched. And I don't really want to talk about it at the moment.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Tonight I have a midterm.

Tonight I have a midterm. Seriously! I know I'm not taking any classes, but that's what it is -- my midterm.

I've been training for this backroom flight control position for about 8 months now, and it's time to assess my progress, so tonight from 5-9 I will be slogging through my ARD Support Midpoint. It's also a Targeting Final and a Control Final. That basically means that there's going to be a whole lot of crap going wrong during our fake shuttle launches tonight.

Wish me luck!

Monday, July 31, 2006

So Debbie went to the

So Debbie went to the Oshkosh Airshow last week, and stopped by the NASA booth. Part of the display was this photo, printed nice and large, of me and Wade on the Vomit Comet back in May. She took a camera phone pic to prove it to me! Apparently someone likes my zero-g hair. I'm famous! ;)

(The original photo can be seen here, courtesy of this NASA page, which wouldn't allow me to directly link to the photo. Wade and I are in the photo collection called May_11_06_GreendaleHS.)

Monday, July 17, 2006

Discovery just got a "go"

Discovery just got a "go" for deorbit burn and had a good burn. STS-121 is coming home! Landing is at Kennedy Space Center beneath cloudy skies at 8:14 Central time. If you're near a TV, check out the NASA channel or CNN. :)

In other interesting space news, here's an article that confirms that JSC really could have been built anywhere. Why Houston? Because a Houston congressman was head of the Appropriations Panel at the time. Sigh. Too bad he wasn't from California. Or Seattle. Or somewhere with no mosquitos.

That got me thinking, and I spent a few minutes browsing one of the early chapters in the book "Suddenly Tomorrow Came." It's available online and is a history of the Johnson Space Center. My favorite bit from the chapter about how we ended up in Houston:

"Powers launched a campaign at Langley, in cooperation with the Houston Chamber of Commerce, to make the move not only palatable but attractive. He posted signs all over Langley saying that 'Houston is a good place to live!' His office presented slide shows and provided brochures. Ben Gillespie came from Houston to show a movie on the City of Houston and the new site. Powers held open meetings in the Langley cafeteria, and 'shot down' the rumors that Houston had a hurricane every year and that hundreds of snakes crawled around the streets."

Snakes! In the streets! Eeeeeee!

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Here is a seriously cool

Here is a seriously cool video taken from the solid rocket boosters as they fell away from the shuttle last Tuesday.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

How do you pick a

How do you pick a landing site on Mars and keep both the scientists and engineers happy? Well, sorta like this.

(Link is to an article about the first Mars Science Laboratory landing site workshop. I attended the last half day when I was out at JPL a couple weeks ago.)

And, as an afterthought to my previous entry, I should add that if you think you have to go through a lot of security to get onboard an airplane itself, you should try going to an FAA ATC center! I got wanded, had to turn on my computer to prove it wasn't a bomb, and then they searched my entire car, inside and out. They were very amused by the baseball bat in the back. :)

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

This morning I had the

This morning I had the very cool experience of visiting one of the FAA's 23 major air traffic control centers. Houston Center is located in a nondescript building up at Intercontinental Airport and monitors the national airspace stretching from west Texas to Mobile, Alabama, Austin to the Mexico border, and into the Gulf of Mexico. (See a map here -- ZHU is Houston Center.)

We have been working with many arms of the FAA, including their control centers, command center, and commercial space division, to make them aware of how an accident on entry would affect the airspace. We give them the data; they decide how to use it and when/where to clear airspace or reroute flights. This morning we finally did a real-time sim, which helped clear up some of the confusion and miscommunication that's been hampering our efforts. I got to watch from the control center itself, which was very helpful because I finally got to see what their displays look like, and how my data is displayed for them. Things made so much more sense when I could see it for myself. And I think having me there in person to explain our data helped them as well.

We took part in the sim from a normal office. After the sim, they asked "so do you want to see the control center?" "Heck yeah!" I said immediately. The center was pretty simple, actually. Their airspace is divided into six areas, which are then subdivided into sectors. Air traffic controllers are assigned to one area, and then get certified in each of the sectors. The certification process is 3-5 years -- not unlike becoming a shuttle front room flight controller!

Anyway.

Sometimes I get to do really cool things, and those are the days when I really like my job. But getting to do cool things has an unintended side effect. Case in point: I totally want to be an air traffic controller now!

In other news, a link from my sister -- our first cousin once removed (I think? He's my cousin's son...) Greg was just drafted by the Mariners. Random. I never see him; I only vaguely remember that he plays baseball.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Seven years ago, this was

Seven years ago, this was me on the Vomit Comet. (No, that was not posed. Yes, I was actually puking.)

Today, this was me! Yep, that's me hovering up at the ceiling. I never felt sick at all and, of course, had a BLAST flying again.

======

The official NASA photographers are starting to post some of their photos from our activities.

Here I am getting fitted for my mask.

Here is Merle from Circle High School totally cheating off my test in the hypobaric chamber last Friday. Apparently hypoxia turns him into a big fat cheater! ;)

Here's me looking loopy.

And here's me looking much better now that I have oxygen again.

And here's 3/4 of my team (me, Rob, and Wade) at the Test Readiness Review on Monday.

Not an official photo, but here's my team after getting our flight suits yesterday.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

It's semi-official -- I've been

It's semi-official -- I've been assigned to my first space shuttle flight! Assuming I get certified within a reasonable amount of time, I will be the ARD Support for the launch of STS-117, scheduled for no earlier than February 22, 2007.

Cool.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Jose took me to the

Jose took me to the symphony last Friday night to hear them perform Holst's "The Planets" while they showed imagery from Voyager and the Hubble on two big screens above the orchestra. It was very cool to hear "Mars" while flying through Valles Marineris, and "Jupiter" while watching the Great Red Spot whirl and swirl.

It was also very cool to get dressed up and go out on the town, even if my Vomit Comet physiological training and the fact that I wasn't done until after 5:30 meant that our "romantic dinner" consisted of stopping at Whataburger on the way home and eating it on my coffee table. ;)

This was the first time I've seen the Houston Symphony and they did not disappoint. What did disappoint me, however, was the imagery used in the slideshow. It didn't appear to be something the Symphony itself put together, and so perhaps the responsibility doesn't lie with them, but the photos were quite out of date. Stunning, yes, but dated -- I estimate that it must have been made about 10 years ago. There were a few photos from Mars Pathfinder (1996), but the images of the outer planets were all from Voyager and Pioneer. There were none of Galileo's amazing images of Jupiter and its moons (or Venus, which it flew by) from the late 1990s. There were none of Cassini's stunning photos of Saturn and Titan from its past two years in orbit there. And there were none of Spirit and Opportunity's awesome pictures of the surface of Mars.

I doubt most of the audience even noticed. But that, combined with Space Day on Saturday, has had me thinking about NASA's public image lately.

Space Day was held Saturday at the George Observatory, a small observatory about an hour away from Clear Lake in Brazos Bend State Park. I went to take photos, but I listened to a lot of the presentations as well. First up was "Mad Science" from the Houston Museum of Natural Science, with an hour-long session led by the very engaging Dr. Molecule. He lit things on fire! He made fog! He sucked an egg into a flask! It was fun, it was entertaining, and the kids loved it.

A little later, an astronaut spoke. He stood at the front of the room and showed some Powerpoint slides with neat photos of training and his mission. He used big words and long sentences. He called it a "manipulator" instead of a robot arm. He said the shuttle has "very poor aerodynamic performance" on entry instead of saying it drops like a brick. He didn't invite interaction from the kids.

Everything he said was entirely precise and technically accurate. And everything he said sounded boring.

The kids looked around. They poked their friend next to them. The shifted in the chairs and shuffled their feet on the floor. The adults asked some questions, but the kids were gone. Their attention was elsewhere. They wanted to know when they could get out of that stuffy classroom and go pet the snake outside in the lobby, or make a balloon rocket.

Why is it that astronauts are selected based solely on their technical merit? Is it because we think that the space shuttle can only be flown by the country's smartest people? (News flash: any of you reading this could probably fly it too with the proper training.) I do not by any means intend to slight or belittle the astronauts here; they are incredibly intelligent people and have done amazing things. But fact is, astronauts are the public face of NASA, and sometimes I think they could be doing a better job.

NASA gets applications from thousands of technically qualified people who want to be astronauts. Instead of choosing one over the other because one has a Ph.D. versus a "mere" Bachelor's degree, can you imagine what things might be like if a happy and outgoing personality was just as big a factor in selection? If public speaking skills were required? If educational outreach experience was a consideration?

Just imagine what could happen if the most public faces of NASA were never boring!

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Dude. I was so productive

Dude. I was so productive today. It felt pretty good.

Monday, March 13, 2006

I've been working on and

I've been working on and off on a project for the last couple years. More off than on. It suffered a lot of setbacks, but none was bigger than the fact that as I tried and failed to get it working, I simply lost my motivation to work on it. It was my project and my responsibility, and yet despite my efforts (I would've said best efforts, but that would obviously be a lie) I let it sit around going nowhere fast, working on it in fits and starts here and there but never really concentrating on it hard enough to get it to an end. My last big push was last fall, and the results were bad, and so I let it sit some more. Have you ever done that? Known that you should be working harder, felt guilty about slacking on something you know could be great if you gave it the time, and yet let it die anyway? That's what I did.

Now the plug is about to be pulled.

And while I'm a little relieved that it won't be hanging over my head anymore, I'm mostly just mad at myself for letting things get to this point. I had a lot of opportunities to make something of this project, and to take it somewhere potentially cool, but I didn't. It's no one's fault but mine, and now that the coffin is officially being prepared, I feel really, really lousy.

Friday, March 10, 2006

At 2:10 Pacific time, I

At 2:10 Pacific time, I was counting down the last five minutes awaiting first signal from the Mars Reconaissance Orbiter as it reemerged from behind Mars, successfully in orbit after a long journey. I watched the mission controllers cheer and clap with a silly smile on my face. It was sooooooooo cool. SO COOL. I hope I can be there again when MSL lands in five years.

Five hours later, I am back in my apartment.

Corporate jet is definitely the way to travel.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

I'm going on a quick

I'm going on a quick trip to JPL for tomorrow's Mars Reconaissance Orbiter (MRO) Mars Orbit Insertion (MOI). Translation: MRO is arriving at Mars and will burn its engine to slow down enough to be captured by Mars's gravity and go into orbit around the red planet. We leave in a couple hours, and get back late tomorrow night.

I'm very excited to have the opportunity to watch the manuever live at JPL. If all goes as planned, MRO will begin its burn at 1:24 p.m. Pacific time and continue burning as it goes behind the planet, cutting off the engine at 1:51. JPL flight controllers will get confirmation at 2:16 p.m. Pacific time (also known as 4:16 p.m. for those in Houston, and 5:16 p.m. for those on the east coast) when MRO emerges from behind Mars.

Watch on NASA TV or online if you're interested!

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Another day with two ascent

Another day with two ascent sims = no time to blog.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

There's nothing like coming back

There's nothing like coming back from a great vacation, going to work at 8 a.m. to watch a morning ascent sim, having just enough time for a quick lunch, then going back to work the afternoon sim, which became a GPO final cert sim while you were on vacation, which means that CRAZY SHIT is happening all over the place, which means that it is your WORST SIM EVER, and sure, there will probably be worse ones in the future, but for now, it is your WORST.

Good thing there is softball and cupcakes and beer to make the world seem right again.

I'm tired.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

My sim last night was

My sim last night was crazy. The first two runs were easy for me, but hard for the FDO (that's my "boss" in the control center). The second two runs were crazy for me.

I realized that if you've been reading my blog for a while and hear me talk about work, you've been hearing me talk about "sims" for four years. What I may not have made clear is that there are two different kinds of sims.

First, there are the trajectory sims that I run on my computer to do my analysis of various things. These are usually Fortran simulations. You give 'em your initial conditions, they model your vehicle flying from up in the sky down to somewhere on the ground, or at least somewhere above the ground far enough to pop out your parachute. Sometimes that ground is on the Earth, sometimes it's on Mars. These are also the kind of sims I run when I'm making the infamous debris footprints.

I've been running that kind of sim for the entire time I've worked here. This is also the kind of sim that has the ability to drive me absolutely crazy because they never work right the first time. UGH.

But recently I have begun to train for a backroom position in the control center. I work an ascent position for the shuttle, meaning my job lasts a short but heart-stopping 10-minute period (plus or minus a minute or two depending on what's going on) and then I'm done. This training involves not running sims, but working sims. In this case, the sim is of the shuttle during launch, and there's a group of people who throw malfunctions into the sim, and we as flight controllers deal with them. I'm not putting in any inputs, and I'm not doing analysis. We're pretending that the shuttle is actually launching, and dealing with the problems that crop up; we're simulating a launch. A normal ascent sim is 4 hours long. Since ascent is so short, this means that we usually have time to simulate 4 launches, which is what I mean when I refer to different runs.

I've been working that kind of sim for almost two months now. They make my brain feel like mush at the end, but they are very, very fun.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

I learned a lot in

I learned a lot in the sim this morning, and I wasn't even working it. I was just observing! And, actually, it'd probably be more accurate to say that I haven't figured out a couple things yet, but once I do I will have learned a lot from watching.

It is 81 degrees today. 81. I wore a long sleeve shirt, and was warm when we went out for coke break. They are putting ice on azaleas to trick them into thinking it is still winter; they are supposed to bloom for a festival in March, but are blooming at the beginning of February. Seriously. Ice on the azaleas.

My brain is so fried.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Ever wondered what something hurtling

Ever wondered what something hurtling towards the Earth at more than 25,000 miles per hour looks like? Well, a bit like this!

(It's a cool Stardust reentry video.)

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Apollo 1 ~ January

Apollo 1 ~ January 27, 1968
Challenger ~ January 28, 1986
Columbia ~ February 1, 2003

NASA'S DAY OF REMEMBRANCE

Today we pause to remember the loss of our Apollo 1, Challenger and Columbia astronauts and to honor their legacy.

Nearly fifty years into the space age, spaceflight remains the pinnacle of human challenge, an endeavor just barely possible with today's technology. We at NASA are privileged to be in the business of learning how to do it, to extend the frontier of the possible and ultimately to make the possible routine. It is an enormously difficult enterprise, made more so by the fact that we are human beings, and flawed. The losses we commemorate today are a mute and terrible reminder of the sternness of the challenge, and of awful consequences of our flaws.

It has always been this way. We celebrate Lindbergh as the first to fly non-stop from New York to Paris. But he wasn't the first to try. Chuck Yeager made history as the pilot who broke the "sound barrier." He wasn't the first to try, either. School children are taught of Magellan's pioneering voyage around the world. But only one of his five ships and 18 of the roughly 250 original sailors completed the voyage. Magellan himself didn't make it back; he was killed in the Philippines. About half of the settlers who set out on the Oregon Trail, or for the California gold fields, didn't make it. Amelia Earhart didn't make it. Today is the day we remember, and honor, those of our own who didn't make it back.

And how do we remember and honor them? No one has ever said it better than Abraham Lincoln at Gettysburg: "It is for us, the living ... that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain." And just as we fly safely today because of the lessons learned from the loss of earlier generations of aviators, so also is spaceflight safer because of the losses we remember at this time of the year. The spacecraft fire hazards and the bolted hatch that killed the Apollo 1 crew will not kill another. The solid rocket booster that was responsible for the loss of Challenger is today the most reliable space transportation element we have. And the devastating effects of seemingly harmless debris upon Columbia are forever emblazoned on our consciousness. These are mistakes that will not be made again.

But as we remember those who have fallen, we must also honor them by acknowledging, humbly, that they cannot be the last. We have not made our last mistake in learning the art and science of spaceflight. There are places in Arlington Cemetery, and elsewhere, waiting for others who have yet to pay the ultimate price for our human failings. We do not know who, or why, or when, but it will come. We pray, today, that it will be a very long time. Let us on this Day of Remembrance honor our lost companions by resolving to make it so.

Michael Griffin
NASA Administrator

Friday, January 20, 2006

This aerogel stuff that they

This aerogel stuff that they used on Stardust continues to amaze me. It looks like frozen smoke. It's a great insulator for convective heat, and you can even lace it with other materials to make it insulate against radiative heat as well (they used it to insulate the batteries on the Mars Exploration Rovers). I wondered what it felt like, so Gavin looked it up. It looks like it should feel like Jello and should be all wobbly, but apparently it feels like rough, scratchy volcanic pumice. Only much lighter because it's 99.8% air. If you touch it softly, it will bounce back. If you touch it harder, it dimples. And if you press hard enough to exceed the elastic limit, it shatters like glass. It's completely bizarre.

I totally want to buy some and just have a block of aerogel sitting on my desk to poke and think "this is so cool," and it's only $1 per cubic centimeter. But the smallest quantity you can get is a liter, which would be $1000. (Yes, I had to look up that conversion.)

Aerogel. Who comes up with this crazy stuff?

Becca, Jen and I went swimming last night. It was my first time in the pool since last May or something, and I could feel my out-of-shapeness. I did 27 laps in just under 35:00. Two sets of 10 laps with a couple minutes break in between, followed by a final set of 7 that I ended because Becca and Jen had stopped, and I was tired anyway. I hope to start swimming again at least once per week to get back in reasonable shape for a triathlon. The apartment complex pool was successfully heated, though still overchlorinated...

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Successful launch! Off to Pluto!

Successful launch! Off to Pluto!

Also, I may get to take a cool work trip in a couple months. Crossing my fingers that things work out...

Friday, January 13, 2006

The sight of a story

The sight of a story like this on CNN's front page makes me happy.

I'll be up early enough on Sunday morning to watch a bit of NASA TV, even if I'll be downtown at the convention center by the time it lands.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

This morning I backseated a

This morning I backseated a sim with Marc, and he let me / made me take the last run in the hot seat. It was my first official run and... I didn't crash the shuttle! Hurrah!

Thankfully it was a pretty calm run, relatively speaking. (Or at least relative to the 3rd run which featured an SSME stuck in the bucket, then drifting, then out behind a data path, then another engine out, a progressively increasing Item 9 dump, TAL, a manifold fail, chasing throttles, and a mass update!)

Anyway, on my run: there was a hot bucket (but everything updated as it should), BFS engaged in first stage (so I had to check IYs based on the yaw rate), an OMS engine failed (but before OMS assist so there was no delta OMS), and the center SSME suffered hydraulic lockup around 5:00 (but no drift). The right engine went out as well, but only a bit ahead of MECO so there was no real impact to the ARD.

And if you just understood all that and know what to do, congratulations, you can be an ARD! Heh. I really just wanted to write it all down to see how it sounded. Sounds like Greek, eh? Scary that I am actually starting to understand.

In other news, I just spent $850 on a plane ticket to South America! Patagonia here I come. :)

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

I backseated another sim this

I backseated another sim this morning, with George. After only 4 sims as backseat, I feel like I am starting to get the hang of this flight controller thing. Of course I still have a ton to learn before I start working sims myself and even more to learn before I get certified, but after only four sims I'm already so much better at following along and picking up on the important information and thinking ahead to what needs to be checked. I've decided to make it my crusade to learn and understand all the OMS prop cases, since nobody else seems to. :)

Then after a quick "ARD lunch" I headed over to sit in on a meeting about a malfunctioning/dying thing they want to jettison off the station to replaced replaced with a working version of the thing. All I have to say is: we need to think harder before deciding to toss things out into oblivion. They don't just disappear. They do end up landing somewhere, eventually.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

This morning my JPL counterpart

This morning my JPL counterpart and I gave our presentation to a huge room full of probably 200 people, including the Deputy Director of JSC and the Director of JPL along with many other managers and space policy movers and shakers. It was both the largest group I think I've ever spoken to, as well as the most distinguished. And I'm happy to say that it went really, really well!

I got many compliments on the presentation (people always say I speak well, but I rarely believe them) and I think our ideas were well-received. Now we shall see if we actually get funding for any of them, and if our collaborative efforts will continue...

After a hectic beginning of this week with the conference and visiting JPLers occupying my schedule, the next two days look to calm down nicely. I've set myself a goal of getting some significant reading done in my flight controller training, since according to the schedule I'll be sitting in the hot seat before the year is out. Exciting! But a bit scary as well. At this point, I could only do the job if someone were sitting right behind me telling me what to say. Which is probably how my first few sims will go! But that's how I learn, I guess.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

This morning I had the

This morning I had the chance to meet Dr. Griffin, the recently appointed NASA Administrator. He's been on the job for about 6 months now and is starting to really gather steam. He was in town to give the keynote address to open the American Astronautical Society conference that's happening today and tomorrow. I'm participating as a member of a joint JSC-JPL team that got together to talk about collaboration and the future. (Remember one of those trips to JPL in October? Yeah, this is the outcome of that.)

Anyway, this morning our JSC-JPL team of about 30 people sat down in a little room and chatted with Dr. Griffin, or Mike, as he prefers to be called. It was an interesting and enlightening conversation. We had the opportunity to ask real questions, and we had the opportunity to listen to him give real answers. I won't pretend that he was entirely forthcoming -- surely he is saavy enough to know how to correctly tailor his words to his audience -- but I think he was honest and forthright, and told us what he really thought. And I loved it. I love when people cut the crap and just say what they think.

I suppose we all have a tendency to tiptoe around managerial types because they are in the position of authority, and they have the ability to hire and fire. But really, what purpose does it serve? If you always beat around the bush because you're too scared to ask someone the real question, how can you ever expect to accomplish anything, or learn what you really want to know?

After all our work with the JPL folks talking about ideas for future collaboration, I wanted to know what the Administrator plans to do to facilitate it. Other people wanted to know what is to be done about our current lack of innovation. What are we going to do when we get back to the Moon that we didn't do during Apollo? How do we help NASA gain enough momentum that we don't get the rug pulled out from under us each time the Presidency or Congress changes hands?

So we asked Mike. And he answered. And he thought out loud. And he even vented a bit. I love it when people vent, makes them seem more real, and frustrated about the same things you are. Feels like you get their real opinion that way.

Some people were offended by some of his comments. I guess I probably could have been offended too, but I was too happy about hearing someone in a position of authority sound honest in his assessments of what's possible, and truthful in his ideas of what's not. At lunch, I told Gavin that if only I could have a pep talk from Mike every morning, maybe I could get excited about the space program again.

Our session is tomorrow morning. I get to speak in a room that will hold at least 300 people. It certainly won't be full, but I think it may be the largest room I've ever spoken in. Slightly intimidating, but not too bad.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Last night I backseated my

Last night I backseated my first real sim. I'm starting to train for a backroom flight control position -- ARD Support, or Abort Region Determinator -- and the first few weeks involve a lot of reading, and as much backseating as possible. Last night was a certification sim for one of the front room guys, so the cases were crazy. Multiple engine failures, helium leaks, launch holds, you name it. This morning Rich and Marc, the two experienced ARDs, expressed incredulity at the fact that I still even want to train for it after watching last night's sim.

My response? "Why would I be scared? I didn't know what the hell was going on -- I couldn't follow it closely enough to be scared!"

They laughed.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Our boss here in Descent-land

Our boss here in Descent-land left six weeks ago to move to the ascent world (i.e. one door down the hall). We've been rotating the job of "Acting Group Lead" ever since, and my stint started yesterday. While it is cool to be able to interview potential new hires and help determine the direction of our group in the future, I have sat through at least 7 hours of meetings in the past 2 days and spent 20 minutes putting together slides at 1:00 a.m. when I was already in a state of emotional distress caused by a guy whose name starts with POO. So in summary: this whole Group Lead thing is really crazy and rather stressful, even if it is fun to keep telling George that he's fired.

I am feeling incredibly depressed today. Evidence:

First, the game yesterday. Obviously. I know it is "just a game," but really, it's not.

Second, I got yanked around this afternoon by our travel system when someone in upper management accidentally signed my supposed-to-have-been-cancelled travel orders to go to Nice, France next week for a conference. I can't go because they don't have the money, but for a half hour I thought they'd had a change of heart. Turns out someone just wasn't paying attention. SUCK.

Third, I am exhausted. I should really run tonight, but I am exhausted. I may just go to bed early.

Fourth, I can't stop sneezing. I have been sniffly and sore-throated on and off since last week. It has been a bad week for my health, with the only exception being the 10K on Sunday. I had all these weird bites and itchiness. Then sniffles. Sore throat. Horrible eating habits for three days when all I basically had was ballpark food. Sneezing. And now just a general feeling of fuzziness and exhaustion.

Fifth, this group lead thing. I really do enjoy it, but I was not expecting it to be so hectic. Actually, I wouldn't even mind that if I weren't so tired. So I guess the group lead thing is not really a reason I'm depressed. Just why I'm stressed.

Sixth, I don't know. I'm sure it's just a combo of the first four. I've just had a mega downer of a day today. Hopefully tomorrow will be better!

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

I was supposed to travel

I was supposed to travel to JPL tomorrow for work (I know I was just there last week, but I'm going back again). However, our travel orders are completely wacked out and at the moment we have no idea when we're leaving because everything has to go back through the system and get approved all over again.

Sigh. Bureaucracy can be so frustrating when everything is way more complicated than necessary.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

NASA has a bad habit

NASA has a bad habit of making space appear boring.

The luncheon speaker today was from NASA Headquarters, and he spoke for about twenty minutes on the Vision for Space Exploration. He spoke from a canned set of Powerpoint slides, and the tone of his voice exuded detatchment. He seemed more excited when he joked about missing his dessert (which wasn't that good anyway) than he did when he spoke about exploration of the moon and Mars.

The topic was questionable in the first place (speaking about the "nation's interest" and how we are a "world power" and as such must be involved) in a room where a sizable percentage of the audience is not American), but even if I ignored that aspect, I couldn't shake the sinking feeling of listening to someone talk about something that should be exciting! challenging! new! different! and make it sound old. boring. ho-hum. uninspired.

Lately I have seen more and more evidence that NASA needs a spokesperson. NASA needs a PR department. We need to stop using managers to sell our work to the public, and stop using engineers to run our press conferences. Instead, we need a group that can effectively take our message to the media and to the public. Let's stop deluding ourselves into thinking that we can simply give technical presentations and bureaucratic stump speeches and the public will fall across our feet professing that what we are doing is cool and worthwhile.

NASA needs to sell itself! If the military can use recruitment ads, why can't NASA? If the Department of Homeland Security can run TV commercials, why can't NASA? If the Postal Service can sponsor an athletic team, why can't NASA?

Our message is not getting out there via luncheon keynote speeches in dim rooms showing the same set of slides that every manager must get upon arrival and speaking with a twinge of boredom creeping through.

To convince the public, you have to convince yourself. And then sell it.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Welcome home Discovery. Good to

Welcome home Discovery. Good to have you back.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

As I walked in from

As I walked in from the dark parking lot just now, I realized who would make the ideal night shift flight controller -- zombies! They never get tired.

Anyway.

Unlike Sunday night, I had no trouble falling asleep last night, at 8:30 no less. My alarm was set for 3, but Becca called at 1:30 to say that they were about to wave off the landing. I stumbled out to the couch and dozed there watching NASA TV until they did indeed wave off just after 2 a.m. Probably best, as I realized only after Becca expressed some concern over me not being there for the planned deorbit burn just after 3 that in yesterday's haze Rich and I had planned to meet too late.

Back into bed I tumbled until my alarm woke me at 3:50. Called Rich, and we hadn't waved off yet, so I started to get ready. Ten minutes later, we waved off the second KSC opportunity. Sigh. Becca called to let me know, but seeing as how I was already up and dressed, here I am.

We will be landing at Edwards this morning, with its always clear desert weather. Deorbit burn in about an hour and a half and landing at 7:12 CDT. After that, I'm gonna see who I can round up for a trip to IHOP. :)

Monday, August 08, 2005

Another wave-off. Just got home,

Another wave-off. Just got home, and it's off to bed I go until lunchtime...

Monday, August 08, 2005

Well, they just waived off

Well, they just waived off the first landing attempt. Broken clouds at 1,000 feet in Florida. Second opportunity will have us landing at 5:22 a.m. This could be a long night after all...

Monday, August 08, 2005

The clock strikes midnight and

The clock strikes midnight and all is well. Discovery is closing its payload bay doors. The weather in Florida is good. STS-114 and its crew will soon be on their way home.

I'm at work hoping to finish up my conference paper. Rich is coming in at 2 a.m. and we'll head over to the control center. We're here on standby and if all goes well, we will do absolutely nothing.

I tried to take a nap, and climbing into bed just a bit before 10:00. At 10:30, I was still wide awake and had a repetitive song that would not leave my head, so I decided to head on in. I sit here in the quiet office, drinking my coffee, and listening to the flight loops. There was a note on my desk: "Gavin wuz here, 7 Aug 2005 - 11 pm." I must have missed him by minutes, in fact, I think I saw his car leaving as I was driving in. I wonder if he finished his (our) paper?

I stopped at the grocery store to pick up some coffee creamer and was appalled at how many young children were in the grocery store at 11:00 on a Sunday night. Though, it just now occurs to me that it is summer, so I guess they don't have school tomorrow.

When all is said and done, I will have worked about 16 hours this weekend. I don't mind it so much when I know it is necessary, and feel that I am being productive. This weekend I have felt very productive.

UPS now says my laptop (currently in Mesquite, which is outside of Dallas) is back at a Tuesday delivery, instead of Monday. I suppose I can't complain too much since that's still a week ahead of schedule...

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Who's watching NASA? These guys.

Who's watching NASA? These guys. It's neat to see which news agencies are paying attention, and how closely they're watching.

I think I would be a great space reporter.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

It's nice to see NASA

It's nice to see NASA on front pages everywhere.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

A great photo set of

A great photo set of the shuttle launch, courtesy GN Bassett, a fellow photoblogger.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

On January 16, 2003, I

On January 16, 2003, I wrote the following on my blog:

"The launch went well. It's funny; even a casual observer would be able to tell exactly what goes on during a launch if they were walking the hallway during those 8 minutes. At about 2 minutes, there is a collective sigh of relief when the solid rocket boosters jettison. Then a bit after 8 minutes, the silence is broken by a lot of chatter and the halls fill with people leaving the rooms with TVs and heading back to their offices.

Launch days are the most inspiring days to work here."

Two weeks later, Columbia broke apart.

Today the scene described above repeated itself for the first time in almost 30 months. We all piled into the conference room, crowding around an ancient TV broadcasting the NASA channel and listening to loops originating in the control center just down the hall. As launch got closer and closer, my heart started to pound. With 30 seconds to go, the sound of the blood pounding in my ears was so loud that I was amazed that no one else in the room could hear it.

THUMP, THUMP, THUMP went my heart.

TICK, TICK, TICK went the countdown clock.

In a blink, the sound suppression water started cascading beneath the engines. The sparklers lit, burning off any residual gas. The engines started, and the shock diamonds in the exhaust started to glow. "Liftoff!" said the announcer, calm as ever, and the stack began to rise.

THUMP-THUMP, THUMP-THUMP, THUMP-THUMP went my heart.

SNAP CRACKLE POP ROAR went the space shuttle on the TV screen.

There was dead silence in the conference room as we collectively held our breath. Eight and a half minutes later, many giddy happy faces unable to hold back smiles, a few claps, and a few exclamations of "cool!" at the video of the ET separating from the orbiter.

We are back in space. Most excellent.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

YAY!!! Return to flight! YAY!!!

YAY!!!

Return to flight!
YAY!!!

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Look people, I know you're

Look people, I know you're all very cool and all since you get to work the mission (or for half of you, just be in Mission Control watching the launch, cause everybody feels like they have to be there for return-to-flight) but can't you park in your own damn parking lots so I don't have to walk half a freaking mile to get to my office? Sheesh. Parking during missions is dumb.

Anyway, we're at T-minus 9 minutes and holding!! Less than an hour till launch... Turn on your TVs, people!

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Work continues to toy with

Work continues to toy with me. Excitement, frustration, making progress, going backwards.

My coworkers, in addition to being coworkers, are all close friends. Most of the time, this is a very pleasant bonus of my job. A side effect, however, is that lately I have been forgetting that they are coworkers.

I slide into behavior that is accepted in friendships but is not appropriate for professional relationships. Venting. Strongly expressing my frustration. Complaining. Being short-tempered. Getting angry that the problem exists instead of trying to solve the problem.

If they weren't my friends, I wouldn't act so tactless. As a result, I feel that if I'm not careful, I'm going to say something snide and unprofessional to someone who isn't a close friend and who won't be able to write it off as my having a bad day or a bad week.

I've got to take a step back and remember that I'm at work.

Monday, July 18, 2005

The August 11 deadline for

The August 11 deadline for my AIAA paper creeps closer, and I remain 1) unable to comprehend the coding and simulation stuff quickly enough to be effective in making any real progress and 2) stymied by my needs that are beyond my control and in the hands of analysts elsewhere. I am in a serious time crunch. I am stressed out and frustrated. It's going to be a long week.

Friday, July 15, 2005

For Jen and other pondering

For Jen and other pondering the necessity of sensors such as the malfunctioning fuel sensor currently plaguing STS-114... CNN has a good article about this one in particular, and the reason it must work correctly.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

The launch just got scrubbed.

The launch just got scrubbed. :( Bad sensor. Boo.

Friday, July 01, 2005

From this week's division activity

From this week's division activity report:

"ISS altitude, latitude, and longitude were provided at a frequency of 1.92 seconds for the time periods of 2:37 to 2:54 on June29, 2005, and 1:56 to 2:12 on July 1, 2005. These data will be used by the ISS team to point a camera mounted on a NASA aircraft at the ISS to take pictures. This camera will be used to take pictures of the orbiter during launch and reentry on STS-114."

We can fly an aircraft to the ISS? What do we need the shuttle for then? ;)

Thursday, June 30, 2005

July 13!

July 13!

Thursday, June 30, 2005

My favorite bit of conversation

My favorite bit of conversation from our once-in-a-blue-moon group meeting this afternoon (paraphrased):

Ray: "Doug, tell us about exploration stuff."
Doug: "Well, there's a document I'm reviewing that's horribly, horribly written. At one point they refer to the crew as 'animate cargo.'"
Sarah: "Animate cargo??"
Doug: "Yeah."
George: "What's wrong with the word 'crew?'"
Doug: "No idea. Animate cargo. I told them even Ham the Chimp was worthy of more than that."

Friday, June 10, 2005

Payscale-gate continues! My division chief

Payscale-gate continues! My division chief just came in to chat with me about it. Apparently Becca and I are the most immediately affected in our division, since we're both up for promotion in August. (Becca started exactly 6 months earlier with her bachelor's degree than I did with my master's degree, which works out to both of us having the same promotion dates.) Management doesn't know if they can do anything, but it's nice to know that my management is upset on my behalf.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

I am currently dealest with

I am currently dealest with the most finicky damn simulation EVER CREATED BY MAN. It is not fun. I do not enjoy doing this. I do not find it "challenging" or "worthwhile" or even "useful." I just find that it makes me want to gouge out my eyeballs so I don't have to look at it anymore. I was here late last night trying to make it work, and at the end of the day it was going into orbit. At least when I started it was hitting the ground. (It's supposed to hit the freaking ground.)

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Payscale-gate (as Nick has taken

Payscale-gate (as Nick has taken to calling the current change in our pay scale that doesn't affect our current salary but affects my next promotion, and as such, all promotions after that for basically the rest of my career) continues. A coworker put together a nice spreadsheet showing the effect of the change and how our accumulated income will change over the next 5+ years. I've spoken to my group lead and my HR rep about it, and next in line on my "talk to" list is my branch chief. According to my HR rep, there are approximately 350 JSC employees affected by this change. It's a fairly small number, so maybe that's why they don't seem to care.

The thing that really sucks is that I don't think there's anything that anyone at NASA can do. It's a government regulation. The Office of Payment and Management tried to slip the change in under the radar to HR, who then tried to slip it in under the radar to us. In the end, it saves the government money, or at least allows them to shuffle money that should have been our salaries to something else.

Woohoo, my missing money is gonna build another bomber!

Ugh.

Friday, May 27, 2005

I work a government job.

I work a government job. Among the many pros and cons of working for the government is that we are all on a standardized pay scale. I have not decided if this is a definite pro or definite con, as there are a couple arguments in each direction. Either way, one of the results of being on a standardized scale is that we move between pay grades (i.e. we get promotions) on a regular basis, and we know when they're coming. You don't get a raise because your work is good or bad; you get a raise because you have been working x number of years. (This is one of the cons, but that's beside the point.)

I am due for my next (time-based) promotion in mid-August. They calculate the jump based on a mildly convoluted formula, but it's not that hard to figure out, and so I knew what kind of raise was coming my way in a couple months. I was quite looking forward to it, because it was a big raise. To be completely forthcoming: it was an increase of $10,000/year.

Until yesterday.

Yesterday a bunch of employees at my level (i.e. engineers that have been here ~3 years or less) got a totally shady email from someone in HR. "Your pay table is changing," it basically says. We are moving from the engineer's pay table to the Houston locality pay table. Because of the afore-mentioned slightly convoluted system, my current salary will not change, but my promotion will change. To the tune of being slashed in half. My raise under the new system will be $5000/year.

Of course part of me feels pretty silly for complaining at all. I make a good salary now, and any raise just makes it even better. I am fully aware that I am very well-compensated for doing my job, and that I make more than millions of Americans (not to mention people worldwide) will ever make. And there is nothing illegal or even technically wrong about the change; I have not received the promotion yet, therefore I have no right to say that it should be more than it is. I will get a raise in mid-August either way.

But the other part of me is thinking: isn't this just a little sketchy? The email was a short, one-paragraph deal, sent from an unknown HR person without even a subject line. It references some law passed by Congress last year and tells us that our pay table has already changed because it took effect on May 1. It's like they are trying to slip this in under the radar, after the fact, and hoping that no one notices that it affects their future promotion potential basically for the rest of their government career.

I think my biggest issue with it, though, is that this change only affects the exact group of employees that NASA is trying so hard to retain: young engineers. Shooting themselves in the foot? I think so.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Happy Birthday Nick! Yesterday was

Happy Birthday Nick!

Yesterday was the best day at work that I've had in a long time. Gavin was out at JPL last week for a technical interchange meeting for the Mars stuff, and had put together a 28-slide presentation that basically gave a good overview of entry guidance and lifting entry. Unfortunately he was trying to give the presentation in an hour, and to a group of very chatty and brainstorming-minded people. He didn't get through more than about five slides, and it was all very hard for us to follow listening in over the phone.

So yesterday he sat down to go over the charts with Mike, our new summer co-op, and I decided to sit in. For months I have been lamenting the fact that I don't totally understand our project, and for months I have done nothing about it. I know it frustrated Gavin, and I know it frustrated me, because I couldn't even explain what it was that I didn't understand!! But Mike the super-motivated and super-smart co-op finally kicked me into gear and gave me the opportunity to go back to square one.

Gavin, Mike and I spent five hours going over 28 slides. Writing it now makes it sound insane, but that's what we did. Five hours. And I asked questions, and Mike asked questions, and Gavin explained, and by the end of the day I finally felt like I really was starting to get a handle on this stuff, and really starting to understand. And that is such a indescribable relief.

And then last night I went to dinner with Gavin, Jen, Becca and Cari and we once again got on the topic of what the dissatisfactions are around here, why young people aren't totally in love with their jobs. It's a regularly discussed topic in our group, and sometimes I feel like we beat it to death, yet each time it comes up I feel like I figure out something new about me, and my motivations. For better or worse, I am definitely a person who figures things out by talking through them.

What I am slowly realizing is that while part of my dissatisfaction comes from forces beyond my control (what type of projects I am given, the computer/desk-driven nature of my group, etc), a good portion of it is also my lack of motivation, and lack of interest, and always looking for the greener grass on the other side of the fence. I think one of the reasons I always liked school is that I am easily motivated by a deadline, or by the threat of getting a bad grade if the work doesn't get done. Sure, I complained if I didn't think the work was worthwhile, but I still did it and completed it on time. In the working world, I have no real deadlines, and often no one really cares whether I finish my project. No one checks in on me, and no one asks how things are going. I don't mean to imply that I prefer to be watched over like a kid...but in a sense, I do want that. I want someone to care about what I'm working on, and I want someone to be interested enough that they are waiting on results.

The best work I feel I've done in my almost three years of full-time employment was during the six months following the STS-107 accident. Why? Because I knew the work was important, because there were people waiting to see my results, and because they were needed in a timely fashion.

I feel like the wheels are slowly starting to turn here. I am starting to understand what I'm supposed to be working on. And the larger issues I've been struggling with are starting to change as well. Management has shuffled around, and as people move into new positions they seem more receptive to getting feedback from their employees. I am going to have the opportunity to talk to those who can change my job, who can get me into flight control. People are beginning to realize that the young employees aren't totally satisfied, and are wondering what they can do to help. It is a really positive change, and bodes well for the future.

Friday, April 15, 2005

if we launch in the middle of the woods and no one hears it, does it make a sound?

The next space station crew, Expedition 11, launched last night from Russia, but you probably didn't hear about it from a NASA webpage.

Melanie walked in yesterday and mentioned that a bunch of the main NASA web portals had no headlines about "Next Crew Launches Tonight!" or "Expedition 11 Takes Off!" I was skeptical at first, giving NASA public affairs the benefit of the doubt. I mean, launching a new crew is a pretty big deal, right?

But then I went and looked around a few pages and...nothing! At the NASA Human Spaceflight website, the headline under the Space Station side is simply telling you that the web location of info is changing. They have only a tiny link to the Expedition 11 Preflight Briefing Materials. So you click on "Space Station" to go into that section. And there under "Latest News" you find info about last night's launch, but yesterday, hours before launch, there was nothing.

Even on NASA's main homepage, a headline about the launch is tiny under the "News" column, while the huge splash feature cycles through something about our new NASA administrator, then Return to Flight, and then shows something about Expedition 11.

I know the new administrator and RTF are important, but last night we (via the Russians) were launching people.

How can we expect the public to truly support NASA if we don't do a kick-butt job of selling ourselves?

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

maybe I can join the Red Sox and their self-proclaimed "bunch of idiots"...

I am trying to figure out what my role is going to be in all our Mars work now that a coworker who has previously done 90% of the work is scheduled to retire this summer. Gavin is going to take the lead role in it, which is probably as it should be, but I'm concerned that he might not have time to do everything and that a portion will fall to me. And I feel totally lost as to what the project is, where it's going, and how exactly to do the work they need from me. I keep telling Gavin that I don't know what's going on, and he keeps asking me why, and I keep saying I don't know. I think he's getting frustrated with me. Actually, I know he is.

He keeps asking what I need to do to understand it, and I keep saying I don't know. Because I really don't know. But that's not helping anything, and it's frustrating to me to feel out-of-synch with the project and yet not really know how to put it into words or how to fix it. All I know is that I just feel totally clueless about the technical details and, as has been pointed out to me multiple times in the past couple weeks, let's face it -- I suck at technical details to begin with.

God, some days I really don't think I was meant to be an engineer. What if I gutted it out through 6 years of school and 2 aerospace degrees and I'm just now finding out that in reality, I'm a bad engineer?? That technical matters aren't my strong suit? I mean, I can't remember the specifics of the work I did six months ago, much less the classes I took three years ago. Poof! The knowledge is gone. I know everyone thinks I'm doing fine work, but that doesn't change the fact that half the time I feel like I'm an idiot and have no real contribution to make to the space program. Not only can I not come up with new ideas, I can't even understand the old ones.

Somehow I've gotten to the point where instead of treating my lack of understanding as a challenge and committing to figuring it out, I just give up in frustration. And whine. I whine too much.

With the Mars stuff, I just feel like if it were all -- all meaning the concept, the history, and the design process -- just written down somewhere in a nice step-by-step order, that would be all I need. But of course such a document doesn't exist.

Thursday, April 07, 2005

rollout

Discovery rolled out to the launch pad yesterday. Very exciting news. One of these days we may actually launch again! I don't work on the shuttle directly, but these are still the moments that make me like my job. There are many things wrong with it, but it's nice to be reminded that in the grand scheme of things, my job is damn cool. No matter what happens in the future, I'll always know that I helped put people in space.

This shot, taken by Leroy Chiao aboard the International Space Station, is also pretty dang cool; you can see the shuttle inching toward the pad.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

fly NASA fly

Sometimes I think I'm down on NASA, and then I get a random email that doesn't even really relate to what I'm working on, and yet it totally makes my morning.

Discovery rolled out of the OPF at 1:30 a.m. today. For the first time in more than two years, a shuttle is on its way to the VAB...and the launch pad beyond.

Like the random sign on Egret Bay Blvd says: "FLY NASA FLY!"

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Here's a more complete article

Here's a more complete article about shuttle public risk from Florida Today. I'm repeatedly impressed with Florida Today and their ability to cover the entire story accurately, instead of the bit of sensationalism that other publications seem to do.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

For those curious about work

For those curious about work stuff, I've been working with this project:

"This is a risk trade," O'Connor said. "You'd have to be sure that all other things being equal, that you have good weather there, that there's not some other matter like, for example, crew safety or you're about to run out of consumables because you've already been on orbit for a couple of days, waiting to come down. All those things will be factored in, but for the first time now, public safety will be one of those factors."

Thursday, March 17, 2005

I'm having career change jitters.

I'm having career change jitters. Major jitters. Now that I've decided to apply to ISU, I think I'll be disappointed if I don't get to go. And the chances aren't great.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

I guess that I was afraid that if you rolled away /
you might not roll back my direction real soon

Every time I post about my latest thoughts on the future of my career, Carter calls to ask me for more information. He did again last night, after yesterday's cryptic post about the multiple options I'm considering. The weird part was that I had a really hard time elaborating. I haven't felt so tongue-tied in a long time.

I know that I have done a lot of things, visited a lot of places, and met a lot of people in my life thus far. Despite my experiences, change terrifies me. Nothing is anywhere near certain, all I'm doing is pondering a few things, and already the mere idea of major career change is freaking me out. There is a part of me dying to talk to everyone about my ideas, and hear what they think, and discuss my options. But there's also a part that doesn't want to tell anyone or discuss anything, for fear of making up my mind based on someone else's opinion. I want to make sure that when I do make a change, it's one that I know I decided on.

I know I complain about my job, but I should make it clear that I do realize that I am in a very good situation here in Houston. My job is extremely stable, I earn enough money to do basically whatever I want, the benefits are almost unbeatable. And I do like my job. I have many of the same frustrations of any job, but I get to do very cool stuff. I realize this. I completely understand this.

Also in that vein is the fact that though there are things about Houston that I would change (weather, flatness, proximity to outdoor adventure), I really, really like the life I have created for myself here. The soccer games, the races, the wide circle of friends, the Astros. I've built a very comfortable situation for myself in Houston, and the longer I'm here the harder I think it would be to leave...

I have decided to definitely apply for the JSC Fellowship. This is both exciting and nerve-wracking, the latter because it means I have to sit down and have some talks with my management. I like my management, and have no problem cracking jokes with them or talking to them about baseball, the weather, my projects, etc. But I get so nervous and anxious when it comes to talking about my job and my future here. I think it's partly because I'm always anticipating the "where do you want to be in five years" question, and I really don't have a great answer. I'm not sure where I want to be in five years.

Growing up, I always had a plan, even if it was very generalized. As a teenager the plan was to graduate high school and go to college. At Georgia Tech, the plan was to go to graduate school and get a Ph.D. and become a professor. It was at Stanford that the plans slowly began to dissolve. I decided to leave with just my Master's degree and the plan morphed into moving to Houston and working at JSC.

Now I find myself having been here almost three years, and not knowing what the next step in the plan is. I don't know what I want to do. I don't know where I want to go.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

fly me to the moon / and let me play among the stars

The Cheesecake Factory last night was fun, but I have to say it was not my best CF experience. My cajun jambalaya pasta was sticky and not well-tossed. I went out on a limb and tried a new cheesecake and while it was good, it's not going to make my favorites list. And I swear our waiter was on drugs or something. He disappeared for long stretches and always seemed confused, but then sang "Happy Birthday" to Cari with more enthusiasm than any waiter I've ever seen. Head bopping back and forth and everything. It was bizarre, and funny.

Becca wrote a bit this morning about the current aeronautics budget cuts that are circulating at NASA, saying "I do care when research funding is withdrawn prematurely and grad students can't finish their PhDs. And I care when expensive, useful facilities are shut down with no thought to the future. And I hate to see people lose their jobs... But, I just personally think the space agency doesn't need to be as involved in aeronautics as it used to be."

I have to say that I agree with her. When NASA first began, there were still so many unknown areas in atmospheric flight. I'm not implying that we have "figured out" everything there is to know about aeronautics, but I feel like the industry is big enough now to take care of itself. As Becca says, if the airlines want improvements to their fuel efficiency, they can fund the research. If the military wants to improve performance on an F-15, they can use some of the hundreds of billions of dollars they receive annually. If the air traffic control system needs updating, ask the FAA or NTSB.

I'm not saying that NASA shouldn't work together with other entities, but I do believe that NASA should avoid doing work that is more appropriate for other government agencies, or that private industry is capable of doing. Aeronautics is a widely researched field these days, and well-funded with or without NASA. Space exploration, on the other hand, is still in its infancy. There are private companies that are starting to break into the market -- Scaled Composites, Blue Origin, etc -- but for the most part, if NASA wasn't doing space stuff, and specifically manned spaceflight, no one in the U.S. would be.

I think it should be NASA's duty to investigate areas and concepts that no one else is thinking about. NASA should be in the business of doing things that other groups can't. We're not in this to make a profit, so we should be developing technologies instead of maintaining them. NASA should be out there pushing that proverbial envelope.

Friday, February 11, 2005

I got a story it's almost finished / all I need is someone to tell it to / maybe that's you

I feel as if I should apologize for not blogging much this week. I can't even explain it really...it feels like I've been incredibly busy, and yet I don't feel like I got all that much done. That's the worst kind of week. I'm sleepy and stressed out, and the worst part is that the stress I'm feeling isn't even mine. I know that sounds strange, but I can explain. Two of my good friends are having a major fight. They're both strong-willed people which is how the argument began in the first place, but one of them is way out of line this time, so much so that I'm feeling sympathy shock and indignation for an argument whose beginning I wasn't even there to witness. Although I wish I had been; maybe I could've nipped it in the bud. Who knows.

I just came back from a two-hour training session over at USA to find that Rich and George have completely rearranged their office! For a place like JSC where the paint on the walls hasn't been refreshed in 40 years, I swear, even the smallest movement of furniture is a big deal. Anyway, it looks nice and it's more open and now I'm even more jealous of the fact that they have a window and I don't. Maybe instead of moving to Becca's desk when she moves down the hall, I'll move into the third desk in their office. It was unappealing and stuck in a corner before, but now it's bright and open.

In other work news, the oldest guy in our group has officially decided to retire, and will be leaving by July at the latest. This is great for him -- he's been here at least 35 years -- but is cause for minor panic among the rest of us because the man is brilliant and is basically the source of all knowledge on Apollo guidance and its current application to all the Mars entry guidance. We've said, only half-jokingly, that we should have a "Gil Hour" every week or two from now until he retires, just to sit down and let him talk about...anything. He's got so much knowledge and somehow we've got to capture as much as we can. Me especially, since I'm going to be taking over half of his current work.

Gavin says our co-op needs something new to do. I don't have anything new for him to do. I'm a sucky mentor.

I don't have much on tap for the weekend. We're having softball practice tomorrow in anticipation of the new season starting next Thursday, so that's good -- I need to refresh my fly ball judgment skills! Tomorrow night I'm going to see a dance performance downtown that's supposed to be Cirque du Soleil-ish. And there's also a Valentine's Day "Old Skool" Bash as well...

Friday, September 12, 2003

can't lift a finger

i walked into rich and george's office this morning and announced that "my finger is fatter!" and to think, instead of sympathy, they laughed. the nerve! ;)

seriously though, my finger is fatter. i think it is sprained. it exhibits all the symptoms of a sprained finger--tenderness, swelling, uncomfortable to bend. and yet i have no idea how to treat a sprained finger. do i splint it? that would make it hard to type. do i tape it? maybe, but i don't know how. i feel like if i just wait, it will get better. but then again, it's been like two weeks...

ok. an internet search says i should tape it to another finger. i don't know how i'm supposed to type with two fingers taped together. i guess i'll experiment this weekend.

plans for the weekend include a movie tonight, the toyota center open house followed by a baseball game tomorrow, and nothing on sunday. it's been raining for two days now, but hopefully it will clear up for the weekend. with any luck, we can repeat last weekend's gorgeousness. and avoid hurricane isabel's wrath next week.

so i've got a new task at work that should be a fun change from footprints. i'll still be doing footprints, of course, but yesterday i was asked if i was interested in joining the mars science laboratory (msl, a rover planned for launch in 2009) team. so i get to do mars stuff; that should be cool. i get the next month and a half or so to learn and train and get up to speed, and then i will start supporting the entry guidance team.

i'm tired.

Tuesday, September 09, 2003

listen as the wind blows / from across the great divide

so today i'm taking a class called "influencing others: the leader's tool kit." the bad news is that it's yet another leadership class, as if i haven't experienced enough of those already. the good news is that the woman teaching is enthusiastic and funny, and thus keeps my attention. so far this morning, we've assessed our listening skills and i've learned that i am best at appreciative listening (meaning that i listen best when i am being entertained or inspired) and worst at empathic listening (meaning maybe i'm not the best person to come to when you just want to vent). hmm. i probably could have predicted those. despite the fact that i always try to be a better empathic listener, i never seem to have much success. i always want to fix things, instead of just being a shoulder to lean on.

i'm a little sore from the rock gym last night, but not too bad. i was having sort of an "off" night. i wasn't able to do as much as i did last wednesday; i just didn't feel as good or as balanced, somehow. my new chalk bag worked ok though, and after last night i am seriously considering buying my own pair of climbing shoes, despite their price (between $80 and $140). the rock gym shoes never fit me quite right; in order to get the right length and avoid painfully compressing my toe, i end up with shoes that are too wide, and i can't lace them up tight enough to prevent the foam pieces from working their way in. what i really need is a shoe designed for women; despite their hugeness (size 11), my feet are narrow like most women's feet are. thus, men's shoes never fit me as well as i'd like. we'll see. i tried on a pair of climbing shoes at rei on saturday. they were $137 at the store, i found them for $95 online. sheesh.

i recruited buzz for my women's soccer team, and am quite excited about that. she's pumped to play, and even if she sucked (which she doesn't), she'd be a great addition simply because i know we can count on her to show up at each and every game!

after climbing we sauntered over to waffle house, where conversation ensued that made me want to clarify things in my life. weirdness.

Tuesday, August 26, 2003

CAIB report

The CAIB (Columbia Accident Investigation Board) has released their report on the STS-107 accident and if you're interested, it can be viewed or downloaded at their website.

Tuesday, August 26, 2003

dirt me

The STS-107 accident investigation report will be released in about 45 minutes. Once we've all had a chance to read it, or at least skim it (as the report plus appendices tops out around 1000 pages, I've heard), I'm sure it will be the pervasive theme at work for a while. We all know it will have some harsh things to say about NASA; this is to be expected. But our more imminent concern is what it will say about conducting entry risk studies, as that is where our expertise lies. So it should be interesting, to say the least.

Matt lent me a CD of an Austin-based band called Damesviolet. He saw them here in Houston on Saturday night, but I didn't go because I was still moving. Anyway, they are pretty good, I'm enjoying their CD.

My fantasy team (the "All-Star" one) keeps inching up on Ron's team, but I can't quite surpass him. We're currently in first and second, him with 67 points and me with 66.5. Randy is a (very) distant third with 46.5 points. It's a little strange because in the past two years, Randy has won the league, with Ron in second, and me in third. This year Randy's team just hasn't performed like he expected them to, I guess. But anyway. It would be awesome if I won, but I don't think I'm going to be able to pull ahead of Ron (though on the plus side, there's no way Randy will catch me). I'm winning all the pitching categories except strikeouts, and he's winning all the hitting categories except stolen bases. The problem is that I don't think there's any way my team will outperform his team enough for me to pull ahead of him in any categories; if anything, he's likely to pull ahead of me in a category.

But second place certainly ain't bad. We have 8 people in the league, and only one of them is a girl. And yet the girl is in second place. Ha HA! :)

I went rock climbing last night, which, as George scolded me this morning, was probably not the best idea considering that my ankle is still swollen from twisting it on Sunday. In fact, it's still swollen today. Ugh. Yesterday I went to the clinic after lunch to ask them for an ice pack, which turned into a half hour ordeal. In order to get an ice pack, I had to see a nurse, who then said I had to see a doctor. Then, to get an ace bandage and ice pack, I had to go through the whole warm-up rigamarole of the doctor listening to my heartbeat, listening to me breath, taking my temperature, taking my blood pressure (which is excellent; perhaps I should start eating more salt), asking if I smoke, and asking if I'm pregnant. Sigh. Finally I got an ice pack, but it was a one-time-use deal, so this morning I stopped at Eckerds to buy the kind you can refreeze. It's in the freezer as I type, so that's that. Hopefully the swelling will go down today.

Rock climbing was a lot of fun, even though I was taking it easy. I guess I am destined to get some sort of scrape every week; the first week it was my knee, then my elbow, and last night I left with a nice 2-inch rope burn on my right forearm. Becca came for the first time last night too, and she did awesome for her first time. I was so proud. Now if only we can get her to trust the rope a little more; despite the fact that it caught her when she fell, she still said she doesn't quite trust it. She's weird.

At the end of the night we played a bouldering version of Simon Says, and today my fingers hurt. Whew. The amazing thing about climbing is that after only three weeks, I noticed last night that I actually have triceps! Ha. I've always been able to feel some faint semblance of a bicep in my arms when I flex, but now I might actually be developing triceps! Amazing. ;) Anyway, the bouldering was tough stuff, but that's what will help me get better--working on my finger strength and general upper body strength. I can't do a chin-up. I have a feeling that once I can do a chin-up, it will open a whole new world of climbing. ;)