buzz and ron moments after being married...

darby, buzz, ron, and jeremy. (jeremy was best man and darby was another groomsman.)

Thursday, February 06, 2003

one day more...then a breather...then back to work

another day, another billion SORT runs. ok, maybe a billion is a bit of an exaggeration, but it sure doesn't feel like it. the tally now goes: 14 hours, 12 hours, 10 hours, 10 hours. i don't know what tomorrow will bring.

i got in early this morning as arranged with gavin and rich last night; we had to start running updated footprints. things are going well. to put it politely...oh hell, screw politely...SORT IS MY BITCH! i am the SORT slavedriver. i even drew a picture of me in this role on the whiteboard, next to my "sims" list. it's a stick figure with brown hair, red horns, and a whip. kneel before me SORT, i am your master.

ok. so i'm getting a little punchy. assuming i'm here for only 8 hours tomorrow, that makes a 54 hour week. you know, i've read things about businessmen and such who work 80 hour weeks. it seems impossible to me.

this evening we are having to clean up our desks because the floor waxers are coming. we've successfully put them off for three nights now, but they are really eager to wax the floor, apparently, so they are coming tonight at 5:30. it's amazing how much becca's and my office has changed in the past half hour--what was once strewn with papers, timelines, footprints, trajectory, etc is now shockingly clean and organized. it's almost as if nothing ever happened. almost.

i have got to go running. every part of my body is tense, and needs relief. it's been since tuesday before last... tonight i assume we are all going to happy hour as one big ascent/descent family, and then...i must go running.

tired.

Wednesday, February 05, 2003

how did it get to be wednesday night already

i am about to leave work. in the past three days, i have worked 36 hours. i never expected to experience this in a job as a staff engineer; i never expected that there would be days when all my waking hours are spent at work, and the only time i am home is to eat dinner, sleep, eat breakfast, and go back to work. i'm not complaining. but i am exhausted. my back hurts, my eyes hurt, my hands hurt from running unix scripts all day and typing new ones, if you can believe that hands can hurt from typing.

the good news is that tomorrow and friday, and all the days after, should return to "normal" hours. we have decided to go ahead with the ascent/descent analysis happy hour tomorrow night, an event we planned last week before all this chaos.

i am going home. i want to run, but don't feel like i have the energy. we shall see.

we are making progress at work. good progress.

(8:42 p.m.)

i just posted some pictures from the columbia memorial service at work yesterday. view them here.

Tuesday, February 04, 2003

a breather after two days of hard work

i apologize for the lack of updates. as you can imagine, it has been a very long and exhausting (but productive and healing) first two days back at work since the columbia accident on saturday. just to avoid retyping, i will paste an edited version of an email i sent earlier to friends:

Hello all,

I've had calls and emails from many of you wondering how I'm doing and how work is going. As many of you know, I work in the Descent Analysis Group, which as you can probably tell from the name, means that we are swamped with work as the investigation into the Columbia STS-107 accident gets underway.

I was at work yesterday from 7:30 until 9:20 with no break, and today from 7:30 until 7:45 breaking only for the memorial service. I had never seen a president in person before today, and certainly didn't want to see one under these conditions.

The memorial service was very nice. The head of the astronaut office spoke and shared his recollections, serious and humorous, of each of the 7 crew members, and the NASA Administrator spoke as well. President Bush's words were polite and appropriate, and though it is unfortunate that it took an occasion such as this to bring him to JSC for the first time, his presence was much appreciated. Having recovered from a very emotional Saturday and Sunday, I was doing ok until the end of the ceremony, but the missing man flyover and a glance at my coworkers brought me to tears. I saw one of my coworkers who was on console Saturday morning wiping tears from his eyes, and it was difficult for me to see a normally happy, nice, extremely professional guy like him break down.

It has been hard for all of us in my division, because we work so closely with the shuttle, and many of us work closely with the crew. I had not met any of the members of this particular crew, but the news reports that call NASA a "family" are not simply making up the term. We are a sort of family and we share the bond of feeling very strongly about our work, and a loss like this is hard. As I've told some people, for me, this is more difficult than September 11. Though 9/11 was horrible on a much larger scale, it was easy to detatch myself from New York and Washington. The loss of the Columbia is much more personal. On Saturday and Sunday, it was hard for me to comprehend that you were all going on with your normal weekend routines while my whole world had just been turned upside down. On Friday night I went out to the movies with Becca and our friend Jen, who had been training on console during the mission. I asked her, almost as an afterthought, how the weather in Florida looked for landing, and everything looked great. I never expected to be woken up 8 hours later with the horrible news.

I watched the launch back on the 16th with other people in my branch, and I remember distinctly how we all breathed the Challenger-induced sigh of relief when the solid rocket boosters separated. Talking to friends later, many said that they'd never seen a launch go more smoothly and issue-free. Obviously concern emerged after launch imagery was analyzed about the external tank foam, but on the day-of-launch, things went beautifully. Launches are always fraught with excitement but also with anxiety, and now landings will be no different. It is shocking to know that things can go so well for 16 days only to end so tragically, and so close to home.

My group has a lot of expertise that should prove useful to the investigation. It appears that things will calm down in terms of getting back to a normal 8-hour day soon, but my group will likely be working on this accident for weeks or months. It's not what I would have asked to work on, but I am glad that I'm in a position to do meaningful work that will play an important role in this investigation. Trying to figure out what went wrong turns out to be pretty therapeutic.

Talk to you all soon,
Sarah

Monday, February 03, 2003

first day back at work after

i've never seen the front gate so crowded at 7:30 on a monday morning. if i didn't know better, i'd think there was a party going on.

i still can't cope with this. last night i did manage to turn off the tv and not turn it back on, or check the web, or hear any news, and that helped a bit. but i wasn't as tired as saturday, and i tossed and turned for a lot longer before i fell asleep.

ok. got interrupted and have to go. more later.

Sunday, February 02, 2003

mourning

i can't stop watching the damn tv. they don't know anything new, of course, but i can't turn it off. i think it's the noise. i just need the noise. or maybe some part of me is waiting for the "breaking news" that this is all just a dream.

last night we had tickets to see the harlem globetrotters, so we went ahead to the compaq center for the show. they held a moment of silence, which was nice. afterward, i headed over to chris and edgar's apartment. yesterday was edgar's birthday, and they had already been planning a party. yesterday's events only strengthened our desire to be together, i think. we ate cake and ice cream, we drank some beer, we played a massive 20-person game of cranium and laughed. most of all, we didn't talk about work, and for those couple hours, i forgot about the awfulness of the rest of the day.

i came home and couldn't sleep. i turned on the damn tv again. cnn showed video of a patch lying in the grass, and then of a helmet, sitting in the middle of a field. just a helmet. god, a helmet. the image haunted me for another hour before i finally fell asleep out of exhaustion around 2 a.m. i was worried i would have nightmares, but i guess i was too tired.

i am sort of dreading going to work tomorrow. well, not sort of, i am dreading work tomorrow. i haven't driven by site yet, though i can see the flag at half-staff from my living room window. i told ron last night as he drove me home that i don't think it's really sunk in yet. going to work means i have to acknowledge it. going to work means i have to walk the halls and look at the faces of people just as or more devastated than i am.

but i'll go to work, despite my fears. not because it's my job, but because i want to. we'll get through this.

Saturday, February 01, 2003

shuttle update

i am in disbelief, pacing back and forth across my living room. this will be a quick update, just for the purpose of sharing what i know both as a nasa employee and a person.

no, i have not been called in to work. yes, i work in the descent analysis group, but creating a debris footprint is basically a one-person job. i called my mentor, who is the resident expert on debris footprints, and he said he would call me if he needed me. yes, i will probably end up running debris footprints, but not right now.

no, there is really not even a chance that it was a terrorist act. you cannot shoot down something at 200,000 feet and 12,000 miles per hour.

no, i don't know what happened. i have educated guesses as to why the shuttle broke up, and my guesses are better than many of the newspeople's guesses, but they are still just that--guesses.

no, i don't know what will happen to nasa, or what this means for the future of the space program. honestly, i am scared. the shuttle fleet will obviously be grounded indefinitely, which puts the space station in a bad situation as well.

thanks for the support of those of you who have emailed and called. please extend your support of me personally to include nasa as an agency. space travel has never been and will never be without risks, and the loss of the shuttle and crew is a tragedy. nasa will need much support in the coming days. thanks.

Friday, January 31, 2003

can't seem to find a quiet inside

i wish it would be sunny outside already. that, and i can't believe it's the end of january.

i don't have much to say today. last night our yuri's night meeting went ok, though i have serious concerns about what will actually end up getting said to the center director during the meeting on february 13. i'm glad leeward will be there in person. he seems like he strikes a good balance between the rest of us, in terms of portraying the situation calmly and most accurately, and being the best combination between optimistic and pessimistic of any of us.

Thursday, January 30, 2003

not-so-inconspicuous stalkers

last night i had two stalkers.

i went home from work just briefly enough to grab my grocery list, and headed to the store. on my way out of the fabulousness, i passed jason and debbie, who were also on their way out somewhere. they followed me out the gate, up to the traffic light, down el camino...and it was at this point that i realized they had decided to simply follow me. i continued to the grocery store, they pulled into the parking lot right along with me, and spent the next half hour following me up and down the aisles, critiquing my choices of bananas, hamburger meat, and taboule mix. it was amusing, if a bit strange. afterward, they came over, debbie fixed "american tacos" and we watched american idol. quite a funny show.

christina wrote something in her blog that made me realize how quickly and yet how slowly time passes. she was remembering fall 2000, which was the semester we really became good friends. only two short years ago, and yet it feels like i've known her for ages. but now that we don't live in the same city, i'm losing touch. as i am with many people. i am always torn over whether this is a fact of life, or whether it's something i could control if i tried harder. i don't know.

anyway. tonight we're having a planning meeting for yuri's night, a big space party to be held on april 12, the anniversary of yuri gagarin becoming the first human in space. i volunteered to be the webmaster, surprise surprise. i have some cool ideas for the design and layout, and i hope i'll have time to actually accomplish them.

a week ago i was climbing a mountain.

Wednesday, January 29, 2003

mayday, mayday

yesterday i got my invitation to ron and buzz's wedding and my plans for going to colorado crashed and burned. yes, that's right, their wedding is april 5, the same weekend for which i've already bought a plane ticket to denver. argh!! if it were possible to kick my own ass, i would have done so last night, seeing as how i've known since october or november that april 5 was the day. it just didn't click until i actually saw it in writing on the invitation. stupid brain.

missing the wedding is not an option in my opinion, because ron is one of my best friends. and yet by not going to colorado, i leave becca, matt, gavin, jen, and cari hanging. it's funny; we knew someone might not be able to go, but it was supposed to be because the shuttle mission was delayed, and it definitely wasn't supposed to be me.

argh argh argh argh. though i can kick myself all i want, the decision is a non-issue. i'm going to the wedding. hence i'm not going to colorado. i'm about to go call continental and see what my options are in terms of changing dates, destinations, etc.

so yesterday afternoon, becca and i went over to the jsc library on a tip from gavin. they are getting ready to move to u. of houston-clear lake, which i don't really understand, as that makes accessing the library more difficult, because a person would have to get in their car and drive there rather than just walk to building 12. but anyway, apparently there is not quite as much space at uhcl than there is here, so the library is getting rid of duplicate copies of many old documents.

"getting rid" of them meant piling them on a bookshelf with a sign saying "take what you want." free books? free space books? woohoo! so becca and i each took as many as we could reasonably carry back to our building and giggled the whole way as if it were christmas. some of the highlights of what i picked up:

• "the problem of space travel: the rocket motor" translated from the german by hermann noordung, written in 1929.
• "human response to sustained acceleration", a nasa publication from 1966.
• "exploring the unknown" with the full text of papers by the gods of aerospace like percival lowell (1895), tsiolkovsky (1903), oberth (1923), goddard (1919), and von braun (1952).
• "lunar flight handbook, part 1: background material", a nasa publication from 1963.
• "space for mankind's benefit", a summary of a congress held in 1971.

yes, i am a big engineering dork.

(10:18 a.m.)

so i called continental. i can rebook the ticket as long as i do it by april 4 (the original date of travel), and i can change the destination and everything. there's a fee of $100, which i expected, but i get a credit for the price of the original ticket, which was $158. so in the end, i lose $100 instead of $158, because i'll have a $58 credit. i guess that's pretty good, considering.

so i have to decide on somewhere to go by april. i'm thinking atlanta for the 4th of july (and running the peachtree) would be lovely...

Tuesday, January 28, 2003

joe millionaire

everyone go visit nick's page du jour. today's picture is one that i took in marseille on saturday. plus, i am doing my part to keep his hits up. :)

so today is the anniversary of challenger and the flags at the center are at half staff. it makes me think of the metal plaque i have on my wall at home. it's funny but with a serious message that i try to remember on days when i am bored with my work. the sign shows a painted picture of a pilot standing on his wrecked airplane, with the caption "remember the possible consequences if you are careless in your work." it's a nice reminder that my work, though it often seems inconsequential, will have an impact someday, and that i need to do my best.

anyway. enough philosophizing. on to something completely frivilous.

last night i watched joe millionaire. the premise of the show is so wrong, and yet it's so captivating. the show does make fun of itself, which i like, and come on, it is just so incredibly funny to watch. on his date with the curly brown-haired girl last night, i was sitting in my apartment laughing out loud. they were cooking dinner, and this woman knew even less about cooking that i do.

her: "oh, this is garlic, right?
him: "um, no, those are onions."

also, she said if she had $50 million, she'd go to a 3rd world country, and, like, bathe their children, and feed them and educate them. she said she was a real mercenary kind of person. mercenary! becca and i had a great laugh over this one, as we're pretty sure she meant she was a missionary type of person, not (according to m-w.com) 1) a hired soldier in a foreign army or 2) serving solely for pay or sordid advantage. i'm cracking up here.

hee hee hee.

Monday, January 27, 2003

dreaming of france

i'm at work. i wish i were back in france.

this trip to europe was unlike my previous two trips in that i wasn't going solely as a tourist. instead, i was staying with a friend and spending my nights in an apartment. the apartment sort of felt like home. whenever i walked downstairs and out the front door of the building onto the little cobblestoned street, i was always vaguely surprised to find myself in france.

i have a habit of losing track of where i am. it amuses me.

last night i was a bum. i actually wasn't tired when i first got home, so i unpacked, started laundry, did some cleaning, ate dinner. i had the super bowl on in the background and saw some of the commercials, but i spent more time just bumming around. by 8:00 i was getting pretty tired, but i ended up staying up till 11 after getting into an involved conversation about alcoholism as a disease, and whether it is within a person's power to control their own alcoholism. the debate started from the question of "do you feel more sympathy for someone with a disease like cancer, with the premise that cancer is not a choice, than you do for someone who is an alcoholic, with the premise that alcoholism is a choice." anyway. lunchtime.

Sunday, January 26, 2003

au revoir, home again

well, i'm back. 7:00 houston time, 2:00 a.m. in aix. i've been home for about three hours now, after 16 hours of travel.

nick and i decided to come back to aix last night instead of staying in marseille for two reasons. one, coming back to nick's apartment was more comfortable. two, spending 50 euros for a cab to the airport versus spending 50 euros for a hotel room in marseille...well obviously i was going to spend 50 euros either way, so we might as well be comfortable in aix. we had a cab meet us at the place de l'hotel de ville at 5:30 a.m. (10:30 p.m. last night houston time, when the person picking me up at the airport this afternoon hadn't even gone to bed yet) and i was at the marseille airport just before 6. nick and i had muffins and then i said goodbye. my flight to london left at 6:50.

i ate breakfast on the flight and then slept for an hour or so. i had two hours to wander around gatwick before boarding the 777 bound for houston. i love 777s. they're big, they're shiny and new, they have individual tv screens in the back of every seat. but even the coolness of a 777 wore thin after my london-to-houston flight.

that was a long flight. i mean long. those of you that have flown to australia or something will scoff, but this was the longest flight i'd ever been on. 10 hours. i ate lunch, and we were still flying. i watched a movie, and we were still flying. i read three chapters of a novel, and we were only crossing the southern tip of greenland. i slept for an hour and a half, and we still had three and a half to go. i went back to sleep, woke up again. two hours to go. i had afternoon tea. still flying. read three more chapters. still flying.

as a side note, greenland was cool. lots of mountains, lots of snow. it looked a lot like what i imagine the himalayas must look like. i must've snapped two dozen photos, aerial views of anonymous greenland mountains. i was fascinated.

finally, when i felt like i would be forced to live the rest of my days in a pressurized tin can, my ears started to pop. the flaps came down, i heard the landing gear, and we broke through the cloud deck about 300 feet above the ground. i was never so happy to leave an airplane in my life. we could have been anywhere, and i would have still been overjoyed just to get out of that can. ahhhh.

jason picked me up in his new truck and 45 minutes later i was back in my apartment. i left debbie and jason with a key so they could feed my fish and water my plants, but they went a step farther and decorated my apartment! i walked in the door to parachute men hanging from the ceiling, a pair of my tennis shoes sitting on top of the ceiling fan, punch balloons, a balance ball cowboy sitting in my papasan chair, sponge dinosaurs in the sink, messages saying "hi sarah" and "hee hee thanks for the keys", and last but not least, a bathtub full of balloons.

i have great friends. i was sad to leave france, but walking into a decorated apartment makes coming home fun. people always surprise you. i had a great week abroad, but not for the obvious reasons. being in france was great, but what really made me happy was just seeing nick. he could have been anywhere in the world, and i would have been happier just to see my friend.

Saturday, January 25, 2003

i have to go home tomorrow :(

nick: “i want new ankles.”
sarah: “i want you to put on some pants.”

(8:45 p.m.)

after that exchange that got the morning off to a funny start, nick and i spent a lovely day in marseille. we had planned to be up in time to catch the 9:30 bus, but surprise of surprises (which I say in the most sarcastic tone of voice possible), that didn’t happen. instead, we got up at 10, had a leisurely breakfast, took showers, and finally caught the 11:30 bus that had us in marseille just after 12:00. nick's friend christy, the same one that was at dinner last night, happened to be on the same bus this morning as she was heading to marseille to her lab, but since she didn't have to be there right away, she walked with us from the bus/train station down to the old port.

marseille was a really neat city. it is by far the oldest city in france, having been around since about 600 b.c as a bustling shipping community. the old port was really cool. it is too small to serve as a port for today's enormous cargo ships, so now it serves as a ferry terminal and marina. there were sailboats upon sailboats upon sailboats resting at the docks. it was really pretty in the bright sun (yes, we had another gorgeously sunny and cloudless day). from the port, we caught a bus for the short ride up the steep hill to notre dame de la garde. the church was nice to see, but the real attraction is the awesome view of the entire city and the mediterranean coast and the mountains surrounding marseille. it reminded me a lot of twin peaks in san francisco, a pair of hills that overlooked all of the golden gate.

the water was so blue, it was absolutely gorgeous. i could have stayed up there all day, but we had to catch the bus back down to get back to the old port in time to catch a boat! we had planned to take a cruise past the calanques. a calanque is, accorinding to nick's book, "a narrow and steep-sided coastal valley which has been bored into the solid rock by a river, whose course was usually guided by a fault, during the periods of the sea's retreat, and which has subsequently been submerged by the waves during cycles of flooding. such fluctuations in sea level result from the alternation of glaciation and deglaciation on the earth's surface over the course of the past two million years." (i copied all that because i didn't really know how to describe it briefly in english.)

whew. anyway. point being that the cruise past the calanques turned out to be out of service at the moment, so we only saw them from afar, but they were still cool. instead, we took a boat to the iles du frioul, two rock islands a half hour boat ride off the coast. the islands were nice and quiet, and had a great view of all of marseille and of chateau d'if, an island with an old prison on it that the fictional count of monte cristo was imprisoned in. sort of like france's version of alcatraz. hmm. actually, alcatraz is probably the u.s.'s version of chateau d'if, but oh well.

we caught the boat back and were back at the old port just before 5:00. from there, we walked to the cathedrale sainte-marie majeure. we had seen it from a distance and decided to check it out on a whim. it was totally worth it--much cooler than notre dame de la garde, though to be fair, nowhere near as good a view as the city. ;) from there, we walked through old marseille back to the bus station and voila, here we are back in aix.

tonight we're going to see punch drunk love with some of nick's friends. it's in english, with french subtitles. hurrah, i will be able to understand it!

Friday, January 24, 2003

the guy who lives below nick plays really loud music

well, nick and i didn't get up in time this morning to do the planned souvenir shopping, so he promised we would go this afternoon at 4 when he gets back from class. in the meantime, i am on my own again. i think i will walk over to a park that nick said is very pretty.

it is always rather hard to tell what the weather is like simply by looking out the window, because nick's window looks out onto the building next to him (within easy throwing distance, probably only 12 or 15 feet). so you have to crane your neck up to see the sky and the roof, but from here it looks like it is a lovely day. i see a snatch of blue sky, and sunshine falling on the side of the tallest roof.

i can't believe i have to go back to houston soon...two more nights in france, then the long plane flight back. in only 6 days, i've gotten pretty used to being here, and as silly as it sounds, i think i may actually understand french better than i did a week ago.

last night nick invited some of his friends from cafe danse over for dinner. we fixed chicken teriyaki for the main course. it was a nice evening, but the group wasn't very talkative, which is very different from the other two dinners i've been to while over here. there were three girls, and one of their boyfriends; nick says sophie was stressed out, and anna was more interested in ian (her boyfriend) than anything else...but whatever, it was still a nice evening.

tonight we are having a different group of his friends over for dinner--the mostly american group, so i will finally be able to hold a conversation during dinner! i'll be relieved at that, and won't have to work my brain so hard at translating. there are 5 people coming, and they are all female. typical nick. ;) i think we are going to fix chicken parmesan. yum.

(1:50 a.m.)

we had a lovely little dinner party tonight...nick and six girls. melissa and miranda are rotary scholars from the united states like nick. christy is a fulbright scholar working at a psychology lab here. stephanie is a french girl who spend a year in england teaching french at a boarding school, and delphine is an air traffic controller here in aix. it was nice because they all spoke english, even stephanie and delphine, so i could finally understand the dinner conversation, and participate! it was a lively group of people, and i enjoyed it. not to mention that the food turned out really well...chicken parmesan, and garlic bread.

i had a nice walk around town this afternoon, including a stroll through a pretty park and a stop at the museum of old aix. it was a pretty dinky museum, only 4 rooms, but in one they had a collection of maps of aix. they gradually got older and older; the oldest was from 1481! wow.

ohmygod!! i totally forgot this story! so this afternoon when nick got back from class we went to a few of the stores around the old town to collect souvenirs for me to take home...things that are unique to aix. we went to a wine store that nick likes to get a bottle of some red wine that is made locally. the man working there spoke english very well and recommended many wines. after i chose one, he was putting it in a bag and i told him "you speak very good english." he smiled and said "actually, i speak swedish much better than english, i lived in sweden for 8 years." swedish!! i was meant to find that wine store. it was a sign! ("but you don't believe in signs...") sweden!

the other funny story of the day was when nick and i went into the grocery store to buy wine for dinner. we already were carrying 4 baguettes, but when we put 3 bottles of wine down on the counter, the cashier asked "is this all for two??" nick explained that no, we're not drunks, we were having a dinner party, to which the man replied "as long as you drink good wine, you are never a drunk." i love the french.

Thursday, January 23, 2003

nous avons monte la montagne sainte victoire! (and yes, that's probably horrible french)

today i climbed a mountain, hurrah!

it turned out that the bus to the base of mont st victoire left even earlier than we thought, at 8:25 this morning. nick and i were both pretty sleepy getting up that early (ok, so maybe it was just me since nick has been getting up that early all week for class), but we made it to the bus and were on our way to vauvenargues. we got off the bus about 3 kilometers before we reached the town and were right at the base of the trail leading to the top of mont st. victoire.

this is a relatively small mountain at only 1000 meters high, but since we were starting from almost sea level, it was a bit of a climb. the first part of the trail led through the forest and was very steep in places; this was the worst part in my opinion. after a while the trail became more rocky, less defined, and more open as the trees gave way to scrubby bush-type plants. nick didn't like this part as much since you had to be really careful with footing to avoid tripping or turning an ankle, but i liked it better because it wasn't as steep. i can deal with rocky footing much better than steepness. :)

after about an hour and a half we reached the small chapel about 50 meters below the top. i was amazed that we got up there so quickly, because from the road where the bus let us off, the top looked quite far away and i had doubts that we would make it to the top in time to get back down to catch the bus back to aix. but we made it with time to spare. we looked around and greeted some of the old men working at the chapel. nick asked them on our way back down and it turns out they climb up to the chapel every thursday to do maintainence work. every thursday! it reminded me of the old german men becca and i saw on the germany/austria border after climbing up a very large hill near fussen--even 80-year-old men are in better shape for climbing mountains than i am! ah well.

we climbed the 50 meters or so to the top of the mountain, which has a large cross on a pedestal sitting there. very descriptively, it's called the "croix de provence" (cross of provence). it was a tricky climb to the cross, and it wasn't made any simpler by the gale force provencal wind blowing over the top of the mountain. i'm serious, this wind was unbelieveable!! i took a brief video clip with my camera just to capture the sound of it roaring through the few trees that were able to grow next to the chapel despite all the limestone; i'll have to post it when i get back to houston. it was a bit scary. i experienced a fear of heights for only the second time i can remember, and i was worried that a gust in the wrong direction would send me tumbling, but fortunately the wind blew us toward the mountain, so it actually helped with the steep climb to the cross. nevertheless, i held on very tightly at the top.

the view was absolutely spectacular. we could see aix down below, and farther in the distance we spotted the aqueduct that we visited yesterday. far away i saw the bridge that the tgv uses, and amazingly, i happened to be looking at just the right time and saw a tgv speed across the bridge like a silver bullet. farther still, we could see the mediterranean and marseille! and looking in the other direction, we could see ridges and valleys and finally way, way off in the distance, at least 50 miles away and probably more, we could see the beginning of the alps, snow-capped and everything! it was absolutely stunning. i took some pictures, but the alps don't show up as well in them as they did to our eyes. it was fantastic. we couldn't have asked for a clearer day. there was hardly a cloud in the sky!

the fierce wind (not to mention cold wind--i was wearing a long sleeve shirt, sweatshirt, wool coat, gloves, scarf, and hat to keep warm even after getting the workout of climbing up all that way) finally drove us back down to the chapel and then we started our descent. we came down a slightly different way, and passed a sign. i could only read that it said "danger" but nick read the whole thing and then announced with slight alarm that climbing to the cross (which of course we had just done) was temporarily forbidden due to the hazard of sliding rock and the instability of the small building next to the cross. so oops on our part, but secretly i'm glad we didn't see the sign; it would have sucked to have gotten all the way up there only to have to turn around 10 meters from the top.

when we got back to the edge of the trees, the wind was finally blocked enough to be comfortable again. we got back to the bus stop about 3 and a half hours after we'd left it, and were just in time to catch it down the road into vauvenargues, where we saw a chateau that pablo picasso lived in towards the end of his life, and where he is buried. it was not open to the public, in fact, the sign simply said "not open to the public. please do not insist. the museum is in paris." as if we could just zoom off to paris right then. ;) vauvenargues was a nice little town though, and eventually nick and i ended up just resting on some steps in the sun waiting for the bus to come back.

and now i'm here while nick is in class. we stopped by the grocery store to get ingredients for dinner tonight; nick invited 5 of his friends over to eat with us, so that should be fun. i'm already hungry though...i'll never make it till 9:30. i'll have to find a snack. europeans eat dinner so late! and they always have multiple courses...appetizers, entree, and dessert at minimum it seems. anyway. i am exhausted. i think i'm going to chop some tomatoes and then take a quick nap.

(12:33 a.m.)

what is it with people getting engaged?? this makes two engagements in one week!

Wednesday, January 22, 2003

52% alcohol is quite strong stuff

i have discovered why french people don't look you in the eye when walking down the street. it's because they are all watching the sidewalk to make sure they don't step in dog poop. anyway. nick says that most of the cities and towns in france feel dirty to him. i sort of agree, but at the same time, i argue that it's probably pretty hard to keep a city looking sparkly clean after hundreds or even thousands of years.

yesterday afternoon the sun finally came out in aix, and so i walked to the cathedral st sauveur, which is only about a quarter of a mile away from nick's apartment. maybe even closer. i got a couple good picture of the cathedral lit by the setting sun, and walked around the inside for about 15 minutes. the organ was playing and it was quite peaceful...until the huge group of japanese tourists came in. ;) ah well. there were some very pretty stained glass windows and statues (see page du jour for pictures).

after touring the cathedral, i spent another hour just walking around the town. i made my way back through the place de l'hotel de ville (the town hall square) and back past nick's apartment and eventually to the cours mirabeau, which is sort of like the main street of aix, and one of the borders between the old town and the new town. it is a wide street with big tall trees and lots of shops and cafes. there are fountains every few hundred feet, culminating in one huge fountain in la rotonde, at the end of the road.

the office of tourism is also right there at la rotonde, so i went in and got a brochure with a map of the cezanne trail. it's a tourist thing where you follow these bronze plaques in the sidewalk and it takes you to all the places that were important in the life of paul cezanne, from the house where he was born to the place where he is buried. i may do that tomorrow afternoon after we hike the mont st. victoire, or friday afternoon while nick has class.

today nick brought home croissants for breakfast. mmmmm. and this afternoon we're headed for an aqueduct that is west of aix.

(12:26 a.m.)

wow, where to start with a recap of today?? it was absolutely fantastic! well, except for when nick woke me up by flipping on the bright light. but i got over that soon enough and joined him for yet another yummy breakfast of jam, cheese, and (for something a bit different this morning) fresh croissants. mmmm. it's really a shame that you can't get bread like this in the states. or coffee either. i love european coffee.i took a shower and got ready for the day while nick went to his 12:15 class, and also made it to the post office for a few more postcard stamps before he got home. wonder of wonder, miracle of miracles, the woman at the post office actually understood what i was asking for. when nick came back, we stopped by a sandwich stand and headed to the bus stop.we caught a bus to ventabren, a little town about 12 kilometers away from where we are in aix. our end goal was the roquefavour aqueduct, which is actually outside ventabren, but that's the closest town. with the cooperation of at least 5 different people sitting at the front of the bus, including the driver, we finally figured out which stop we needed to get off at in order to head toward the aqueduct. turns out this stop was in the middle of nowhere in the french countryside, but there was no stopping us at that point. we were walking.it turned out to be 6 kilometers to the aqueduct and then 6 kilometers back, which took us just under an hour each time, but it was definitely worthwhile. see the page du jour for a picture, and i'll post more on my site when i get back to houston.

we got back to the bus stop with 10 minutes to spare, and got back to nick's apartment with just enough time to change clothes and catch a ride with a rotarian (anne-marie). she drove us to a dinner date with another rotarian (ives), his wife (chantal), and his daughter (anne). they live in a house on the outskirts of aix, and had invited nick over for traditional french fondue. when he said i would be in town, they invited me along as well.

i cannot gush enough about how good it was, and how much fun the evening was, despite the fact that i only understand bits and pieces of conversations, and can speak far less than i understand. we started off with appetizers and a wine sort of like champagne, but not. we then moved to the table for meat, followed by cheese fondue (and more wine), and finally an apple and pear dessert. it was all absolutely delicious, and funniest of all was that i found that my french comprehension declined in direct proportion to the number of times ives refilled my wine glass, despite my protests of "non, merci!" :)

after dessert, chantal brought out a bottle of alcohol that she made herself. oh my lord, i have never tasted anything so potent in my life. it was like i have always imagined backwoods moonshine must taste like--52% alcohol. 52 percent!! the funniest part was that anne, the 16-year-old daughter, was allowed to have a bit, though she wasn't allowed to drink any wine, and when nick asked her if she liked it, she replied with "oui, je l'adore." i swear this stuff could cure any ills; in fact, ives even said it was for good health. ;)

from there, the music and dancing began. anne played her clarinet, chantal played the accordian, nick and i gave a rousing rendition of "heart and souls" on the piano, and we also waltzed to the accordian (though there wasn't much room for more than a few turns). all in all it was a great evening.

Tuesday, January 21, 2003

rainy morning in aix

through my shameless plugs for the page du jour, i am helping nick obliterate his old records for hits per day. mwa ha ha. yesterday he had 48 hits and was quite excited about it i think.

so this morning i was woken up by someone buzzing at the door, however, i didn't realize that the loud buzzing noise was coming from the door until they had stopped and gone away. for a minute i was worried it had been nick, but duh, he has keys. so i don't know who it was, but sheesh, it took me forever to realize it was the door buzzing despite the fact that it's not exactly a quiet or peaceful sound. i have just been really groggy every morning so far when i've woken up; it must have something to do with the fact that my body is still lingering on houston time, and doesn't like being forced to get up at 3 a.m.

nick's in class all day so i'm on my own until 5:30. this would be a long time, except i just got up a little while ago and now have only 5 hours. i was going to go running, but it is raining. actually, maybe was raining, as i don't hear any rain at the moment, and i could definitely hear it half an hour ago. i will have to poke my head out the door in a minute. after that, i think i am just going to walk around the town. nick has a book with a walking tour of aix in it, and so i may follow that, or i may just walk. it's funny, i don't really feel like going to see any museums or anything on this trip. i just feel like relaxing and hitting the highlights. i will probably go to the town cathedral, but the museums just aren't getting me excited. maybe i will try to find the grocery store...we do need jam and cheese.

(3:55 p.m.)

so i went running and damn, it's only been a week since the last time i went running (last wednesday) and today was tough. of course, it could also have something to do with the hills, which i'm not used to, and the fact that i had to be always on my guard when placing my feet so that i didn't slip in the mud and fall. the trail was gravel, but pretty muddy after the recent rains.

also, in what i like to call my "tribute to becca," i got lost not only on the way to the trail, but also on the way back! am i good or am i good?? i didn't take a map because, well, i didn't have a pocket for it, so i memorized the route before i left. but once i actually got outside, i took a wrong turn. i knew i was headed in the right general direction though, and eventually i saw a sign for the sports complex, which i knew was right at the head of the trail. hurrah. then on the way back, i took another wrong turn (funny how easy it is to get confused in all these little alleyways), but finally saw the three-story gap (ah, how home-like) and knew that nick only lives two blocks from that. so here i am, back, showered, and about to head out again.

Monday, January 20, 2003

almost over the jet lag, but not quite

another lovely day in france pour moi. nick had class at 8:45 this morning, so i was left to my own devices for a few hours. i had every good intention of getting up at 10 to go running along this beautiful path by a nearby river...but when the alarm went off i was still quite groggy, and the thought of putting on running shoes and shorts and heading out into the cold and walking over to the park just to go running and then walking back (or even running and walking back) just didn't sound appealing. so it didn't take much convincing by my body to keep me in bed and hitting the snooze button until 11:45.

at that point, i had to get up because nick was due back from class at 12:30 and we had plans for the afternoon that i needed to be ready for. so i got up, showered, and was eating breakfast and trying to understand french tv when he walked in. we ate some more, and on a totally unrelated note, i must say that i am in love with jam and cheese from la vache qui rit on fresh french bread! anyway.

we headed out through the city and north up a long hill. at the top was the domain de la marguerite, a site that has ruins from a village settled in the 2nd century b.c., and a great view of the mont st. victoire, which is a few kilometers north of aix. clouds obscured the highest point from view, but it was still impressive, and the view of the town below was beautiful. hopefully we'll get a better view of the mountain on thursday, when we go to climb it.

nick had another ballet class at 4:05, so we came back to aix and i tagged along to watch. it was a bit strange to be sitting silently on the couch watching the ballet class but not being able to talk to any of them, but i still enjoyed it. there are some very good dancers in there, and nick has also gotten a lot better in the past 4 months. i think i'm going to go watch another class tomorrow night.

after class we picked up bread and potatoes and chicken and came back and made a very american dinner of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and corn. nick's friend melissa, another rotary scholar studying in aix, came over to eat with us. she is from louisiana and was really cool. thankfully, they made it an english-speaking night. ;)

finally, another shameless plug: be sure to check page du jour for today's picture of nick and me and the mont st. victoire! the page even has a new web address--http://www.pagedujour.net.

Sunday, January 19, 2003

day trippin (to avignon)

well, first things first. france is awesome.

i'm not nearly as tired tonight after getting maybe the best night's sleep of my entire life last night. i think i could have slept through a freaking tornado. ah, wonderful jet lag-curing sleep.

today we went to avignon, which is about 60 kilometers from where he lives aix-en-provence. because the bus and train would have taken something like two hours to get there, and because they weren't that much cheaper than taking the tgv (Train a Grande Vitesse, translated to mean train at great speed), we decided to go for the thrill factor. we hopped on the tgv, reached a top speed of something like 200 kilometers per hour, and were in avignon 20 minutes later. woohoo!

the day was lousy because it was both cold and raining, but fortunately it was only a light rain, and i had a coat and hat and scarf.

(shameless plug: go see some pictures we took today at nick's page du jour, where i am the week's guest author.)

so anyway, in avignon we first stopped at a cafe for some pizza and then headed to the palais des papes (palace of the popes), where the catholic church was headquartered during the 14th century. it was nice to see, with many large rooms and decorative windows (with window seats) overlooking the rest of the town. the prettiest room was the chapel, with its stained glass and stone buttresses.

we left the palais des papes and found our way to the pont st. bezenet, better known simply as the pont d'avignon. we had a couple australians take our picture after we danced on the bridge. see, there is a little sing-song that goes "sur le pont d'avignon, l'on y danse l'on y danse, sur le pont d'avignon, l'on y danse tous en ronde" that my mom sang for me a few days ago when i mentioned we were going to go to avignon. i had never heard it, but nick also knew it! as a result, i have had it stuck in my head all day and have been singing, singing, singing. we even saw a little girl in the pizza cafe who was singing it to her parents; it was the most adorable thing i think i have ever seen.

from the bridge, we walked along the rampart and up the hill into the gardens behind the palais. we were enjoying the views when suddenly we saw about 5 geese in a perfect single file line walking up a ramp. we both thought it was amusing, so we walked up to head them off and get a picture. we caught up with them at the shore of a little pond and were laughing when one of the geese stuck out his neck and started walking toward us. i moved off to the side, but nick stood in place and looked at the goose and said jokingly "what are you gonna do, bite me?"

and the goose bit him!! it walked right up and nipped the top of his foot! i don't think either of us realized that the duck was actually going to get him until it was too late. but it didn't hurt nick, and it had me laughing for the next 5 minutes. in fact, we are still laughing about it tonight. maybe you had to be there, but it was absolutely hilarious. nick's only comment on the situation? "freaking duck. we have to go back to avignon so i can show it who's boss. animal rights, my foot."

anyway. after the unprovoked duck attack, we stopped at a cafe for some coffee and tea, and then wandered the streets of avignon until it was time to catch the bus from centre ville back to the tgv station, and then the tgv back to aix. we had a delicious dinner of shewarma sandwiches from an arabic restaurant. nick has been there before, so the guy making the sandwiches was happy to talk to him in this strange combination of arabic and french. i didn't understand any of it, but c'est la vie, n'est-ce pas?

so, at the moment, i am dutifully updating my diary and nick is sitting next to me sewing straps onto his new ballet shoes. and we are listening to opera. hmm.

it has been a great day. not sure what we're up to tomorrow, but i get to sleep late while nick goes to class in the morning, then i will probably tag along to his late afternoon classes. in between, i think we're going to a scenic overview of aix. yay!

Saturday, January 18, 2003

je m'appelle sarah, je suis ici pour rendre une visit a nico

bonjour mes amis! je suis en france!

that's 6:42 france time. but despite having nick the human french-english dictionary sitting next to me, i'm going to revert back to my good ol' anglais now.

so, i'm in aix-en-provence and i'm so tired that i'm about to keel over. i did manage to get about 3.5 hours of sleep on the airplane last night which is more than i expected, so at least i'm not approached scotland-levels of fatigue (where i dozed for a good 24 hours after arriving in the country). anyway. the flight from houston to london was long but uneventful. they were showing "my big fat greek wedding" which i've been wanting to see forever, so i watched that with dinner, slept, had breakfast, got to london. i drank a lot of water, much to karen's pleasure i'm sure. ;)

my flight from london to marseille took off a bit late, but i got through customs in record time and was only about 20 minutes late overall. the frosted glass sliding doors open and...there was nick! hurrah! much hugging ensued, followed by a dash to catch the bus back to aix. i then got to play santa claus and present nick with all his crap, thus lightening my backpack considerably. ;)

so all afternoon, nick's been keep me awake with candy, walks, buying train tickets, going to the bakery, vanilla tea, etc. aix is a really cool little town; i am going to have a lot of fun exploring it. there is even a park with a trail that runs at least half a mile along a river bank and back, so i can go running during the mornings while nick is in class. fun.

we're currently watching "la maillion faible," the french version of "the weakest link." i am amused, but will have to start moving again soon if i am to stay awake for dinner tonight.

Friday, January 17, 2003

france, here i come

we have a visitor in the office this morning; john is using the fads terminal. i guess the one in his office is occupied. it's nice to have visitors, and john is cool. though i think he is quite amused with the random topics of conversation that come up between becca and me. my annual leave spreadsheet and stuff...

i'm currently trying to make sense of gavin's matlab script, the one that creates pretty pictures of debris footprints. i need to leave results for rich before i leave this afternoon, and if gavin were here i could just ask him to do it and it would take all of 5 minutes...but gavin's at some meeting, and so i'm left to figure it out myself. hopefully yesterday's dumbness won't carry over to today.

so i'm leaving for the airport in less than 4 hours. hurrah! i talked to nick last night and as a result, in my carry-on bag there are:

• 2 bottles of french's yellow mustard
• 2 bottles of suave skin therapy powder fresh lotion
• 2 bottles of vanilla coke
• one large bag of sour patch kids
• one large bag of haribo gummy bears (which, though made in marseille, are apparently not sold in aix-en-provence, a la becca's confirmed lack of nestle toll house chocolate chips in switzerland)
• one canon a40 digital camera

ha. i'm like santa claus! with a really freaking heavy backpack. who knew that mustard and lotion and candy could be so heavy? anyway, it's good that my backpack is full of stuff for nick, because my suitcase is absolutely stuffed. there's no room for anything else in the suitcase, but once i get rid of all nick's stuff, i'll have a basically empty backpack.

last night i went over to gavin and jen's to join a small group for pizza and viewing the "encore presentation" of the first two episodes of joe millionaire. i know, how sad are we? but i have to admit, the show cracked me up.

well. not much else to say today. i'm going to france! i should be able to update this page, since nick has internet access (i think he even has dsl now!), and you should definitely all check the page du jour starting tomorrow, as i will be the guest authoress. wahoo!

Thursday, January 16, 2003

3...2...1...liftoff

the shuttle launches today, actually in 44 minutes. at 9:39 houston time. as is customary in my office, those of us who aren't in the control center will slowly meander to the conference room and watch on nasa tv. we'll be 300 feet from mission control, but we'll watch the same broadcast that any joe anywhere in the country can watch. that thought always makes me laugh.

so last night i went running with a local celebrity. not intentionally, but still. and "celebrity" is perhaps not the right word. anyway. it was cold so i decided to run on the treadmill in the workout room. i'd been running for about 10 minutes when he came in and got on the treadmill next to me. he said hi, and started up a conversation, asked if running was a new years resolution. i laughed and told him that my resolution was actually to just keep running, and that i'd started about a year ago. turns out he's just trying to get into it, for fitness and stuff. anyway, we chatted for a bit, and when i finished my 3 miles, i left. it was interesting, i guess. one of those situations where morbid curiosity sort of takes over. that, and well, i was going to run 3 miles anyway, so...

i got back all sweaty to a phone call from a friend who needed to borrow my scanner and cd-burner. this would have been incredibly simple if i hadn't just updated to windows xp, and therefore hadn't gotten around to reinstalling the scanner and cd-writer software. and the installation cds i had are too old to have xp-compatible drivers on them. oops. luckily, hewlett-packard puts all their drivers online. wahoo! the scanner was installed in seconds, but the cd-burner proved more difficult. somehow it had tried to install itself, but didn't have the right drivers for xp. so i had to delete all the old ones, download the new ones, restart my computer about a zillion times in an attempt to get xp to recognize the "new" hardware, and finally just install the drivers manually. but it did eventually work, so that is good.

tonight i have to pack, because tomorrow i go to france! wahoo! i'm soooo excited.

here's a line from a conversation last night that made me smile. when discussing john mayer, carter said "and his lyrics are like... the blues. it's like jazz, but like poppy jazz, but like H Johnson meets the Gap." h johnson meets the gap. i like that.

(10:15 a.m.)

words words words. i drink them in as if they were water, and yet sometimes they hit me like rocks. there are things i wanted that i didn't get. there are things i wanted that other people got instead. and in the end, there is nothing i can do about it and i know that, and amazingly i've even come to terms with that. things weren't meant to be the way i imagined when i was young. people weren't meant to be that way either. but in brief fiery dying flashes, it still hurts.

i need to be in france right now. i need something unconditional.

the launch went well. it's funny; even a casual observer would be able to tell exactly what goes on during a launch if they were walking the hallway during those 8 minutes. at about 2 minutes, there is a collective sigh of relief when the solid rocket boosters jettison. then a bit after 8 minutes, the silence is broken by a lot of chatter and the halls fill with people leaving the rooms with tvs and heading back to their offices. i watched from greg's office. the last time i watched tv in greg's office was september 11. time flies, and yet it doesn't.

launch days are the most inspiring days to work here.

(1:38 p.m.)

i went to the dentist over lunch break today. lovely. it's a new dentist, of course, as i've only been in houston for six months, so today they did the whole x-ray/intial checkup thing. told me everything looks fine except...my upper wisdom teeth. they're impacted. they're pressing on my molars. they might start to cause decay, blah blah blah. basically, he thinks they need to come out, and when i go back in two weeks for my first cleaning with him, he's going to recommend an oral surgeon to go talk to about it.

this is not what i wanted to hear.

(3:46 p.m.)

i'm too stupid to work for nasa. geez.

Wednesday, January 15, 2003

now there's no question, my hair is definitely brown

so today has been completely random so far. i got in to work at 8:30, spent 45 minutes doing my checking email/getting ready for the day routine, then headed over to building 220 with the rest of my group. the x-38s (all three vehicles--two drop test models and one that was supposed to go up on the shuttle but now probably never will) had been dragged out and arranged in the parking lot, and a nasa photographer was taking group pictures of all the different people who worked on the project during its heyday.

first there was the massive 200+ people group picture, followed by individual groups. my officemates and i were in the flight dynamics pictures, taken 2nd and 15th, so we ended up having to hang around for an hour and a half to get all the pictures done. by the time we finished it was lunchtime, so we headed to mongolian bbq. and that's that. i guess this afternoon i will try to get some actual work done! ;)

so yesterday i did something a little crazy. i dyed my hair. not the 6-8 shampoo type either. i mean i went to a salon (dragging jason and debbie along for emotional support) and got my hair dyed. i was thinking of going fairly red, but after discussing it with adam, the guy, we decided on a shade darker than my natural color, with red undertones and a few hidden red highlights. now, for those of you that know me, my natural color is not the sun-bleached blond stuff on top; my natural color is actually the mousey brown that you only really see in the hair at the top of my head or the layer underneath the blond stuff, that is, the hair that you don't usually see much of. so the effect of dying my entire head of hair a shade darker than that natural color is noticeable, but not in a bad way. you'll have to look at next week's page du jour for a viewing.

meeting time, gotta go.

(2:08 p.m.)

back from a relatively unproductive meeting. i have a lot to do this afternoon. turns out that a satellite will be deorbited this fall, and our group needs to verify debris footprints. my mentor volunteered our services, but since lately i have become the debris footprint woman, the task falls to me. they need a preliminary answer by next friday, and since i won't be here at all next week, that means i have to get it done before i leave. it won't be a problem if they've given us the right information. i just sent it to the printer, so i'm crossing my fingers that everything i need will be there when i go grab the paper. if so, i'll have the footprints by tomorrow no sweat.

i have a lot to do at work these days. hurrah.

i was going to talk about how cold it is here today, and then about how cold it is supposed to be in france, but then i read how cold it is in chicago and decided that i have no room to complain. feels like -10. damn.

so the fifth harry potter book comes out on june 21. it's finally been announced. that's nice, as it is a little something to look forward to.

(4:08 p.m.)

matt: "elephants do that too, they get drunk on berries."
me: "but they're not in sweden."
matt: "no."

Tuesday, January 14, 2003

no habla espanol

another nice little normal "real life" evening last night. i went home, ate a snack, headed out to run errands. first stop was linens 'n things for wine bottle stoppers, one of those candle lighter thingys, a kitchen timer, and a grease strainer. then to best buy for a new camera for nick. then to payless and finally kohl's in search of black boots, which i found. hurrah. it's official, i am an old woman. {sigh}

this morning when i arrived at the elementary school, i found out that diego, my tutee, won't be coming anymore because his teacher wants to keep him in class to prepare for the texas state tests, held in april. i have issues with this: 1) the test isn't until april, 2) i don't think teachers should be teaching to the test anyway, and 3) one hour a week one-on-one with a tutor is much more valuable to a child than spending that hour in a class of 30. individual attention is invaluable. not to mention that diego and i were really starting to have some fun, and i'm disappointed to not be working with him anymore.

instead, it looks like i will now be tutoring new immigrants (it's a bilingual elementary school), meaning they speak little to no english. and i speak little to no spanish, meaning that i have no obvious way of communicating with these kids. talk about frustrating! today i worked with a 4th-grade boy going over alphabet flash cards. ms. arredondo (the bilingual tutoring person) explained to him that i would say the letter and he would repeat it. then i would say the animal pictured on the back and he would repeat it. so that's what we did for 45 minutes, me saying the word and him repeating it. after one run though the cards, i put them up to see if he could tell me without me saying it first, and he did ok. it's obvious that he can read in spanish; he just has to start learning english now.

so i guess that's what i'll be doing. but it is frustrating. i know that these kids need the practice, they need someone to sit down and go over english pronounciations and such...it's just frustrating to be unable to communicate with them. i don't feel like i can be very effective when i can't talk to them. i feel like the person tutoring these kids should really be someone who can speak at least some spanish. but i guess we'll see how it goes.

france soon!

(3:14 p.m.)

i forgot to mention that i posted some new pictures the other day. maybe you already found them, but if not, there are pictures of my bedroom furniture and of the x-38 being moved from building 13 to its permanent resting site in building 220. this was last friday. the project is in its shutdown phase due to budget woes, and there was a small parade of people who used to work on the project following it. it's not everyday a spacecraft rolls down the street. :)

(3:25 p.m.)

You are Stupendous Man! You are simply amazing, whether you are battling your arch-nemesis Mom Lady, the nefarious Babysitter Girl, or the fiendish Annoying Girl. And you have absolutely nothing to do with mild-mannered Calvin. Take the What Calvin are You? Quiz by contessina_2000@yahoo.com!

Monday, January 13, 2003

broke is a relative term

moving to houston has made me rethink my take on the weather. i used to like cold weather better than hot, but now that i never experience cold weather, when it does come, like today, i find that i don't care for it so much. weird.

so today james gets the honor of calling me on my relative lack of money. "Sarah, you always amaze me with the cool stuff you buy and do. I hear you talk about being broke, and then have all these cool vacations and buy cool TVs, cameras etc. It doesn't make sense, unless that's the reason why you're broke!" he's right, of course. well, he's less right on the TV/camera/etc part, as i haven't bought any new electronics in a while, but he's dead on with the traveling observation. i'm a travel junkie. i love going to different places. if i didn't travel, i would have significantly more money, but i'm not really willing to give it up.

in that case, i should really stop saying that i'm broke.

so i think i'm going to run the peachtree in atlanta on july 4, assuming i can get my application mailed in time to be in the first 45,000 people. good thing i still have connections in georgia to fax me the application. :)

la la. i feel like i should have more to write, but can't find many good words today. my head feels weird. sort of dizzy. don't know why.

my smart (Spacecraft Mission Assessment and Replanning Tool, how creative of the acronym makers) meeting was cancelled for the afternoon, which is ok. i didn't have anything to report anyway, since i spent all last week working on the paper abstract with becca. instead, i'll finally get started on the project ray and rich gave me last week.

i'm looking forward to a run tonight, though i will probably head to the treadmill again since it's so cold outside, and still pretty wet. i'm not a big fan of the treadmill. most people say that treadmill running is easier than road running due to the lack of air resistance and better cushioning, but i dunno, it doesn't seem that way to me. i do put the treadmill at 1% incline, which is the proven way to make treadmill running like road running...but it doesn't seem to have more cushioning. i actually find that my shins bother me more on a treadmill than they do on the road. but i am trying to get used to it, as i know there will be days this summer when it will too hot to run outside, just as today is too cold.

anyway. i think i might actually run some errands tonight that i have been putting off. plus i have to go buy nick's camera.

france on friday!

Sunday, January 12, 2003

c-c-c-cold

houston has temporarily switched identities with seattle, i think. it is raining, and it is 37 degrees outside. 37! anytime the temperature dips into the 30s here seems like a big deal. in a few years i will have to move elsewhere if for no other reason than to remember how to deal with cold weather. in the meantime, i will shiver.

i had been thinking about finally ignoring the absurdity of getting in the car and driving somewhere to go running and was going to drive up to memorial park today. they have a ~3 mile dirt trail that i've read about, and yesterday morning as we were driving home from the race, chrissy recommended it as well. it is a 30-40 minute drive from where i live, but i figured it's sunday, i have the time, and i'm sick of running laps around my apartment complex (the surrounding roads have too many cars and too little sidewalk to feel comfortable running along them). but the weather is so gross that i'll have to save that outing for another day.

funny. the ickiness outside is yet another little reminder that sometimes even the best laid plans go to waste. this is something that in my past life i constantly forgot. these days, the reminders make me laugh knowingly to myself.

this morning i woke up feeling strangely confused. i have been having a lot of dreams lately, some weird, some normal. the other night i dreamed i climbed mt. everest, which was cool. the night before that, i had dreamed that aliens were infiltrating society and made me turn into an alien when the sun went down (which i'm certain can be attributed to a combination of commercials for the dvd of "signs" and watching shrek on tv a few days before). those are two of the few i can remember well; the others have been of the type that fade quickly after you open your eyes, leaving you with the knowledge only that you had been dreaming, and nothing of what it was about. this morning, though i couldn't remember the content of the dream, a vaguely unsettling feeling lingered.

i wonder if it's because i rearranged my furniture and am now sleeping on the opposite side of the bed. that would be interesting.

the unsettling feeling led to a bit of positive reflection. my life, without me really even realizing it, has fallen into a comfortable pattern. hmm. actually, pattern isn't the right word. perhaps it would be better to say that i've reached a happy medium in many respects. things that used to leave me conflicted don't do so as often.

life is good here. i am happy.

i go to france on friday!!

Saturday, January 11, 2003

run run fast as you can

all of a sudden it's gotten cold (and cloudy) outside again, after being lovely and warm and sunny all week. why does that happen? why does the lousy weather roll in for the weekend? ah well.

we ran the rockets run 5k this morning and i finished in...28:45! wahoo! the race finished at center court in the compaq center, so that was pretty neat to run in through the tunnel and end on the basketball court. and then buzz and i got to our soccer game at halftime to find that our team was actually winning! double wahoo! we won the game to finish the season with a record of 1-7. :)

yesterday at work was hectic, hectic, hectic. the good news is that we got everything done, though; becca and i submitted the extended abstract, complete with umpteen signatures, at 4:30. of course in typical fashion, when we logged on to submit we found out that the deadline that was supposed to be yesterday had been pushed back to january 31, making all our rushing and running around and convincing people to just please please sign the damn forms all for naught. but we had spent so much time getting it done that i wasn't about to just let it sit for 3 more weeks, so we went ahead and submitted it anyway.

tonight we're headed to the rockets game with the tickets we got for running the race this morning. should be fun. i haven't been to an nba game in...well, i don't know how long, but years. not since high school definitely, or maybe even junior high...before the hornets started screwing with the city of charlotte and i lost interest in them. and we'll get to see yao ming, the really tall chinese guy that the sporting world is talking about.

this afternoon is set aside for laundry, cleaning, and other assorted chores. whoopee.

Friday, January 10, 2003

"we're sorry sir, we can't hire you because your friend is WEIRD"

this background check dude really makes his rounds quickly. he visited carter like two days ago, and last night he apparently called christina as well as me. though i don't think he actually works for the cia, i think he is just a contractor to the department of defense. meaning all he does is background checks. still, i bet that is a pretty interesting job, especially when you come across someone with a shady past.

anyway, the phone rang and he had trouble saying my name, so when he spit it out, i said "i'm sorry, she's not here, can i take a message?" see, that is my typical response to telemarketers, and i thought he was a telemarketer because of the mispronounciation!

so he started on his message, like "i'm a contractor for the dod, etc" and then i realized he wasn't a telemarketer and had to say "oh oh oh, wait. i am sarah graybeal, i'm sorry!" and he goes "what?" so i had to explain the whole thing. so then he says "oh. well, ok, i'm calling to ask some questions about kent," at which point i'm relieved that he just told me because i actually have two friends in the process of getting security clearances these days and i really didn't want to make myself look even dumber by going "now who are you calling about?"

anyway. he asked his questions, i answered them, and hopefully convinced him that kent is not going to hatch a plot to overthrow the government or anything, you know, basically that kent's not a total wacko (though he now thinks that kent has a total wacko like me for a friend). at the end of the conversation i apologized again for confusing him at the beginning of the conversation, and he laughed and said he understood.

he sounded nice. i can see why carter wanted to talk to him longer. though i guess i am not cool enough (or close enough) to warrant an in-person visit. :)

last night i was at work until 6:30 and had to back out of going to the hockey game because becca and i had to finish our extended abstract that is due today. it's for a paper we want to present at a conference in august.

every time i stay late at work and comment on it, i get reminded that my other friends who are consultants always had to work like 12 hours days all the time, blah blah blah. it's like they're implying that my working 10 hours isn't as notable as their working 12, and last night it annoyed me. normally it doesn't, but i was tired and thus more prone to being annoyed last night. i just felt like saying "fine, ok, you win, you had it worse, happy?"

but it doesn't really bother me, although in general i don't think people who work long hours have much right to complain. most people know what they are getting into when they take a job; if you go to work as a consultant, you know that you will be working long days. it's a well-known fact of the job. it doesn't give you permission to repeatedly imply that you are a harder worker than someone who feels a 10 hour day is a long one.

i sound like i'm upset, but really, it just got me thinking about a conversation irwin and becca and i had a week ago, about salaried jobs versus hourly jobs. though i make a set yearly salary, nasa still keeps track of every single hour i work every week. i have to charge every hour to a time code, and they have to add up to at least 40 each week. it's annoying, and seems nit-picky to me. i am a much bigger fan of the salaried employee concept: you are given a yearly salary, and you work whatever hours you need to get the job done. if you have a lot to do one week, you work 60 hours...but then the next week when you have a break, you can work 25 hours and not be punished. hmm. i think i just like things that are more like school, where i can work somewhat on my own time and pace.

Thursday, January 09, 2003

homestar runner rocks my face off

ohmygod. you must all go watch this right now. do not delay. at the end, click on "sweden" and watch the flag do a jig. this is genius, i tell you, genius.

here are some pictures from painting on monday night. first, cari, kennda, and becca confer about something. second, i roll on purple paint over purple primer while kennda edges the corners.

fun! also, yesterday my bedroom set was finally delivered, and after 20 minutes of rearranging furniture to find the optimal arrangement, i have a bedroom that actually looks like a real bedroom instead of simply "room with bed." i took pictures but had already turned off my computer for the night and was ready to sleep, so i'll post them tomorrow hopefully.

last night was nice and quiet. i came home and went for a 3 mile run. (speaking of which, i have got to find a more interesting place to run than my complex and the road in front. unfortunately, this will involve having to drive somewhere, which is what i was hoping to avoid. but running laps around las palmas is just too dull.) after that, i fixed myself a lovely dinner of pasta with chicken, with snow peas as a side dish. mmm. i watched silly tv, messed on the computer, rearranged the bedroom furniture, showered, and slept like a log. lovely.

tonight we're going to a hockey game. perhaps jason will win me another ikea shirt! :)

ok. lots to do today.

(10:44 a.m.)

oh! i forgot the biggest news from yesterday--we bought our plane tickets to denver! april 4-7, from ellington, for $158.50. i'm convinced that it would be impossible to beat that price without bribing an airline. amazing. so there are seven of us that are going to colorado for baseball and spring skiing! now all i need to do is figure out when regular season baseball tickets go on sale...

Wednesday, January 08, 2003

rocky mountain high

still stuffy, but i am not taking any more sudafed. no no no. i've also discovered another funny side effect of this stupid cold--odd sleep patterns. when i felt like crap last weekend and didn't feel like doing anything but sleep, i became an insomniac. i had tons of trouble falling asleep and then staying asleep; as a result, i only got like 6 hours of restless sleep each night when i needed more like 12. but now that the cold is starting to go away and i don't need the sleep, i'm sleeping so well that it's damn near impossible to drag myself out of bed in the morning! despite going to bed before 11 last night, this morning i hit the snooze button for a solid 45 minutes before finally crawling into the shower a little after 8. i didn't make it to work until 9:00, but that's ok since i was here till 6 last night.

yeah, work is picking up. i have been tasked with a couple new tasks in the past few weeks, and becca and i have been working on an extended abstract for a paper we're hoping will get accepted for the aiaa flight mechanics conference in austin in august. so there's plenty to do, not to mention we've been planning our colorado trip!

last night i was having second thoughts about going due purely to the money i'd have to spend, but today becca found even cheaper accomodations and rental cars (there are either 5 or 7 of us going depending on the shuttle flight schedule), and the plane tickets to denver are dirt cheap right now, so it looks like i can do the whole 4 day/3 night trip for under $500. that includes a baseball game, one day of skiing, one day of lounging, car, lodging, plane ticket, gas, ski rental, and even food if i eat relatively inexpensively. excellent!

so i watched this very interesting documentary on the travel channel last night about the concorde and i have made a decision. once i am out of debt, i'm going to start putting away a bit of money each month and when i have enough, i'm going to buy myself a round-trip ticket from new york to london or paris on the concorde. hurrah! british airways even runs specials sometimes that when you buy one concorde ticket, you get another for free! that way, i could talk a friend into splitting the $7000-12000 price tag. ;)

Tuesday, January 07, 2003

denver!

robert fick. this is the braves' answer to a seemingly decimated pitching staff. robert fick. {sigh}

so some of us (the particular someones have not all been determined yet) have decided to go to colorado the first weekend in april to see a baseball game and ski. i'm quite proud to say that the baseball game requirement, and thus the placement of the trip on the first weekend of april when most ski places are about to close for the year, is entirely my doing. see, i can't ski, and so if i'm going to spend a whole weekend falling on my butt, i might as well get a baseball game out of it, and add another ballpark to the list of parks i've visited. anyway. this should be fun! i love colorado. :)

in other news, the furniture company is stupid, stupid, stupid. despite telling me when i bought a bedroom set last week that it would be delived on tuesday (as in today), it wasn't even put on the truck today and therefore won't arrive until tomorrow. why, for the love of god, why are furniture delivery people incompetant?? this is the fourth time i've bought furniture in 6 months, and only one of those times was it delivered as scheduled. it's exasperating. i don't care that it took them a week from when i bought it to deliver it. that's fine. but they should tell me that up front, instead of telling me one thing and then changing their tune once it's too late for me to do anything about it! argh.

i wish there were a way i could just flush out my entire head. it is oh-so-stuffy which makes work oh-so-tedious.

we finished painting becca's study last night, and took pictures, but i didn't get a chance to resize them last night. so maybe later.

i am so disappointed that i missed the premiere of joe millionaire last night. really, i am.

i need to go play with matlab now.

(6:34 p.m.)

now i remember why i try to avoid taking anything other than advil when i am sick. this afternoon i took a sudafed to try to relieve some of the oh-so-stuffy-licious-ness. bad idea. i'm not stuffy anymore, however, that's been replaced with watery eyes and a nose that is leaking like a freaking faucet. note to self: next time, stick with being stuffy. it's more comfortable than dripping.

Monday, January 06, 2003

purple people eater

so in the past, i have always gotten annoyed whenever people asked me about something i wrote online. however, now that most of my friends keep some sort of online journal/diary/blog, i find it very hard not to ask them to explain themselves occasionally. how hypocritical of me!

my head is still all stuffy, and getting out of bed this morning proved to be quite the ordeal. but here i am.

yesterday we primed the walls of becca's study, and today we'll put on a good coat of paint. it is very purple. carter says purple is not a study color, and gavin and jen apparently stared in silence. but the homeowner, the roommate, and the friend all like it. and once the furniture is back in the room, the purple will become more of an accent color and less of an overwhelming wall color. i guess becca will probably have to repaint the room a more normal color in the future when she decides to sell the house, but in the meantime, i think it looks fun.

stupid flight mechanics lab. the computers, or the connection, or something, is down again, meaning no connection and no way to do work for moi. {sigh} it's a sign (but you don't believe in signs!). perhaps i should have just stayed home again today...

i'm listening to becca's avril lavigne cd. it is entertaining, but i think the chick is trying a bit too hard to be a punk, and the lyrics make me laugh. i think a 6-year-old must have written them. "it's the first time i ever felt this lonely, wish someone could cure this pain, it's funny when you think it's gonna work out, till you chose weed over me you're so lame." um....ok. ah well.

11 days.

Sunday, January 05, 2003

recovering sicky

nyquil makes me have very weird dreams. hmm. anyway, i am feeling a bit better, still achy, but not as feverish. so i'm off to paint at becca's house, i think. i tend to feel better when i'm active.

Saturday, January 04, 2003

yuck

yuck yuck yuck. sore throat, aching head and back, don't think i have a fever but feel like i do. ikea. luigi's. "still loved, and still love" tells me that i missed something fun at new years, and that i was the one who wasn't there. hot tea should help my throat. i can't think straight.

Friday, January 03, 2003

and the winner is

in 2002, i ran 255.25 miles in 43.45 hours, for an average pace of 10:13 per mile and a weight loss of about 9 pounds (two numbers which surprised me). 255.25 miles. that's like running from my front door to tech, plus 5.25 miles! wow. all this running is good because last night i stuffed myself silly at a mexican restaurant. ohhhhhhh.

carter is the winner of the name-my-fish contest, as his name was chosen out of the grand total of three, yes three, submissions. (you people are slackers.) the winning name...drumroll, please...is viggo.

yes, viggo. it's perfect! one, it reflects my recent fascination with viggo mortensen (aka aragorn from lord of the rings, if you are becca and only know the character names). two, i looked it up and it is of scandinavian origin, and sweden is in scandanavia, and i like sweden. three, it is a "short form of names containing the scandinavian element vig 'war'." a siamese fighting fish with a name that means war! i love it.

so carter wins my undying love and affection, but no hershey bar, cause he doesn't like hershey bars. too bad.

i am sick. i blame rich. he came to work yesterday and announced that he'd had the flu over christmas right before he collapsed into a coughing spasm. last night after dinner, someone suddenly stabbed a knife into my throat, and every swallow was like swallowing needles, and last night i must have woken up like every 45 freaking minutes. but i'm at work because, well, if i were at home i'd just be sitting on my couch staring at the tv. i dunno. i think maybe i will go home in a little while if i don't feel better. it's not like i don't have a bazillion sick hours or anything.

ironically, becca and irwin and i were just discussing sick hours last night at dinner, and how we never use them and wish they could be applied to our annual leave. perhaps the sick gods heard me.

i'm ready to go to france. nick has planned out practically my whole trip for me already, and every night ends with "then we eat well and sleep." i am so amused.

Thursday, January 02, 2003

i want YOU...to name my fish

oh happy day! it's an interactive diary entry from sarah!

this is my new pet, bought on impulse yesterday when i followed becca and irwin to the pet store. (i almost bought a turtle cause they were so cool, but figured i should find out more about how to care for a turtle before i randomly get one.) anyway, my new pet is a male red beta fish, and he needs a name! after watching harry potter last night while puttering around my apartment, i came up with one name option--fang. or, since he is a siamese fighting fish, i could name him something siamese, but when i tried to think of siamese names, all that came to mind were japanese names.

so give me suggestions. i'm taking a poll! yay polls! email me. the winning name will get...um...my undying love and affection! and maybe i'll send you a hershey bar or something if the name is extra good.

oh, and here is another picture of ivan the amaryllis, proof that i can grow a plant. ha ha!

also, i have one more picture if anyone wants to see what becca's and my office looks like. it's a 360 view courtesy of my digital camera and cool photo-stitching software. see it here. plus one more picture of the people in my group. see it here. back row: george, gil, ray, rich, gavin, and me. front row: matt, becca, and laura, who has sadly finished her co-op tour and gone back to texas a&m.

it's lunchtime, but perhaps i'll update with more substance later.

Wednesday, January 01, 2003

...and days of auld lang syne

the first day of 2003 is absolutely beautiful. sunny, breezy, cool. this bodes well for the year to come, i think. :)

last night was fun. gavin, jen, becca, irwin and i went to see "two weeks notice" after the football game (which georgia tech lost, unfortunately...a mediocre end to a mediocre season). it was a typical cheesy romantic comedy, but i did enjoy hugh grant's character. he is great at doing the whole sarcastic-yet-with-straight-face thing. i love that. it's my favorite kind of humor.

after the movie we went back to becca's place for cheese fondue. yum! i love fondue, even though i've only had it like three times in my entire life. i think i'm going to take one of the million 20% off coupons i always get from bed, bath, and beyond and go buy a fondue pot so i can do it myself and have people over. it's been a long time since i had anyone over for dinner.

just after 11:00, after fondue and watching the ball drop in new york, we headed to randy and ami's house to join them, ron and buzz, phil, edgar, chris, and a whole bunch of other people. somehow the tv ended up on the spanish station, which was broadcasting from san antonio, so we counted down "diez, nueve, ocho, seite, seis, cinco, cuatro, tres, dos, uno, feliz ano nuevo!!"

so it was a great night. i got to see ian, an old co-op friend who i haven't seen in probably three years. katie called about 2 minutes before midnight to wish me a happy new year. i got a kiss at midnight. and then carter called at 1 a.m., too hopped up on cheesecake (or so he said) to realize that it was already 2 a.m. his time and thus new years in denver already and no longer new years in houston. but i appreciated the call anyway. ;)

Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true

hooray for 2003, it's going well so far...

Tuesday, December 31, 2002

should auld acquaintance be forgot

ohmygod. i want to go to lebanon. nick just updated his page du jour for the past few days, and the pictures are gorgeous. it's a non-decision; i have now decided that i will go to lebanon someday. i'll make nick come along as my guide and interpreter. i'm sure he won't mind. we can stay with his multitude of relatives!

becca just informed me of something she heard on the radio this morning that made irwin almost fall off the couch laughing. apparently, the houston police are asking people to please refrain from shooting guns into the air to celebrate the new year, because houston has the highest accidental death rate from bullets fired into the air at new years. what kind of crack do these texans smoke??? here's the article, just to prove that i'm not making it up.

work is even more quiet than yesterday, which i didn't believe was possible. another new years eve, another chance to wipe the slate clean, another adjustment period where i will inevitably write "02" on any checks i write, and then have to scratch it out when i remember that is it "03" now. "it's been a long december and there's reason to believe maybe this year will be better than the last..." no matter how good or bad my year has been, that song always floats through my mind this time of year.

all things considered, however, 2002 was a very good year. i got a degree, a job, an apartment, a new experience. i surfed, i hiked, i raced, i helped build a one-door, two-window home of mortar and concrete blocks. i traveled.

in direct contradition to years past (when i have made multiple ethereal resolutions about being happy, overcoming my jealous streak, not overcommitting myself, blah de blah de blah), this year, i have one solid resolution: keep running. it's been almost a year since i started running regularly, and despite the fact that i took a three month break out of pure laziness and lack of motivation back in the summer, i was able to get going again this fall. in just shy of a year i've gone from a 5k time of 34:11 to 30:09, and that's without even pushing myself too hard. i'm proud of myself and i want to keep it up. this time next year i'd love to be able to say i've improved another 4 minutes and can do a 5k in 26:00. :) i don't know about that, because i'm definitely not built to be a runner. then again, you never know.

becca just went home, and now the silence is truly deafening. must put in a new cd. i want a lucky bamboo a la mom, katie, and grandmother to put on my desk here at work. i wonder where i can get one...

(1:04 p.m.)

i was just reading this entry again, and felt that my one resolution is shallow. somehow i always think resolutions should be big and broad and all-encompassing. but i like my resolution. keep running. one foot in front of the other and that's all i need.

i am pleased with our new years eve plans, and how effortlessly they came together. football game at 2:30, movie at 7, fondue around 10, and then midnight countdown. it is a different lineup of activity from my past few new years eves, but i think perhaps it is appropriate, since this year i will be with a different collection of friends. i will be thinking of those in atlanta when it is 11:00 here, but 12:00 for them. james and chrissy will be smooching, christina will likely be laughing as always. carter will probably burst into auld lang syne. kent and chris might just sit and smile. and an hour later, i will laugh, sing, smile myself.

it is nice to be reminded that out of sight isn't always out of mind.

Monday, December 30, 2002

twas the eve before the eve before new years

i expected work to be pretty quiet today, but not this quiet. it's almost as bad as the day after thanksgiving, when becca and i were two of something like five people on the whole third floor. our group has the best attendance today it seems: gavin, george, ray, becca and me. it is sad to see laura's desk so empty now that her co-op tour is over.

also, now that i'm back in houston, it doesn't feel anything like late december. i think this is solely due to the weather. it's 72 degrees outside. 72! this is the one time of year--this month between mid-december and mid-january--that i've never experienced in houston until now. my co-op tours spanned the rest of the year at some point or another, but i have never been here for the new year.

but we're doing well with plans. tonight irwin (who arrived yesterday for a week-long stay at becca's house) is cooking the fresh salmon he brought from seattle. yummmmm. and for tomorrow, plans are falling into place. the bowl game is at 2:30, and it sounds like we'll follow the game with an evening movie, then fondue at becca's house, then the countdown to midnight at randy and ami's house with a larger crowd. it should be a fun new years. i hope my friends in atlanta will find a happy medium in their new years plans...it sounds like everyone there has a different idea of what their activity should be.

so over christmas, i found out that i won a free cell phone from a drawing i entered at the dome run a few weeks back. this evening after work i'm going to pick it up. it's a digital camera phone! i'm so excited. i hope it works. the catch is that to get the phone i'm supposed to activate a new account. which i feel is incredibly dumb, i mean, doesn't every company have that gimmick, ooh, free phone with activation? come on, what was the point of having a drawing for a free phone when it's not actually free but just "free."

but i digress. point is, i figure if i can get in and out of the building tonight with the phone in hand without signing anything, i can just take the phone to the t-mobile store and get them to set the sim card (or however it works). crossing my fingers that i can dupe them into thinking i'll just activate the phone later or something.

anyway.

18 days till i go to france...

Sunday, December 29, 2002

daylight fading

i sit in my study staring at the computer screen as that silly 80s song drfits through my head. "back to life...back to reality..."

my flight back to houston was uneventful. said goodbye to carter at the house, then waved to him as we exited towards the airport and he continued toward the junction with i-85 and his road home. hugged mom, dad, and katie; said bye to david and brian.

the plane followed the interstate almost perfectly to atlanta. i had pulled out my book to read, but ended up staring out the window the whole time, as it was beautifully clear and sunny between my two old hometowns and i could see for miles and miles. i saw spartanburg, greenville, and the bmw plant. i saw the bridge that crosses the lakes that define that part of the south carolina/georgia border. i saw the giant "welcome to georgia" rest stop and the outlet malls at commerce. it was fun to trace the drive i have done so many times from the air. somewhere along the way, i passed carter down there on the road.

sadly, i couldn't watch atlanta itself because the plane took a turn to the east in order to approach the airport from that side. i had been hoping for a good look at the tech campus.

the flight from atlanta to houston was quiet, and less cooperative to sightseeing. somewhere over alabama or mississippi, a thick blanket of puffy white, sunlit clouds began. i got back around 3:15, met irwin, and jen gave us a ride back to my place. we bummed around until becca got home. and now here i am.

work tomorrow.

Saturday, December 28, 2002

all vacations must end

a calm falls over my last day at home... christmas break has been good, and short. too short, though perhaps it is just that i adjust to different lives more quickly than i should. a week at home feels less like a vacation, and more like how things have always been. my "real life" becomes fuzzy. it always has.

i think that's why i'm such a big fan of pictures and photographs. it's proof that i lived in california, that i saw another country, that i built a home in mexico, that i knew this person, and that. i think it's why i have a need to keep a journal, to write. to convince myself that i didn't just conjure these things from thin air and imagination.

i have always adapted easily to new situations, at least in the physical, being-there sense. it often takes some time for my thoughts and emotions to catch up, but feeling normal in a new place comes effortlessly.

but tomorrow i go back to houston, and i am already worried that i've forgotten what my apartment looks like! i'm afraid it may be a disaster area when i walk in with irwin (who i am entertaining until becca gets back tomorrow night), as i honestly can't remember how much i cleaned before i left.

and on monday i go back to work, which is a less-than-thrilling realization. i much prefer vacation, and flitting through my days. though i suppose i like it only because it is different, and thus special. if every day was vacation, i'm sure i'd get bored. sometimes i think i must have ADD, as there are days when i actually miss the constant activity that permeated college life.

carter's here, and i am happy to see him. it is a nice ending to my christmas vacation.

Thursday, December 26, 2002

over the river and through the woods to aunt nancy's house we go

my vacation is floating flitting flying by. it has been the calmest vacation since high school that i can remember. no anxiety, no boredom. no missing people heartache, no imposing on friends. a minimum of family conflict, and even brother brian seems to be maturing at last. ;)

i have two more days at home. i don't know that i'll be ready to go back to houston. though i do miss my apartment greatly...

we went up to chapel hill today for a nice family dinner. the six graybeals, plus grandmother, aunt nancy, and cousin casey. our christmas dinners have become full of tiny traditions; we always have english party poppers that snap when we open them, revealing a small toy, a silly joke, and a tissue paper crown. presents all around.

this year my aunt secretly put together a slide show of slides from the late 1950s and early 1960s that my grandfather took; it was a complete surprise to my grandmother (as well as us kids), and it brought tears to her eyes. pictures from their trip out to california when my mom was 8, and my aunt was 11. some pictures from later trips around the country, to the 1964 worlds fair. even some pictures from when casey and david and i were little. it was cool, and sort of poignant to see how much it meant to my grandmother.

tomorrow: returning a couple things that don't fit, and carter arrives for a couple nights.

(12:21 a.m.)

i think i won a free cell phone. cool! i have to check on it tomorrow, but i think the email is legit. i did enter a drawing for a free phone, anyway.

Wednesday, December 25, 2002

feliz navidad, joyeux noel

merry christmas one and all!

it has been a great day. morning breakfast, followed by presents. a lunch of leftovers and ham biscuits, followed by a long walk with mom around the neighborhood in the bright sun and brisk winter wind. a matinee of "catch me if you can," which was an appropriately enjoyable flick for the evening. now home to curl up in my pajamas and the new robe and slippers i got from my cousin laura and read my book and sip russian tea.

perfection.

Tuesday, December 24, 2002

twas the night before christmas

merry christmas eve. i have a few more presents to run out and get for my brothers and muh sustah, but i know what i'm buying them and where i'm getting it so i'll knock it out in an hour and a half. just as soon as i take my shower! i just got back from a run and i stink. also, it is cold and rainy outside and i think my ears may have frozen. a warm shower will fix them.

yesterday was full of activity. i drove (borrowing katie's car) up to durham and back to get my grandmother and bring here down to charlotte as always for the holiday. the drive up was lovely. i sang along with katie's cds and drank in the sunshine and the open road and the trees, oh the trees! i forget how much i love trees of the non-palm, non-warm-weather, non-gulf-coastal variety. evergreens, tall and strong.

most of all, i enjoyed the time alone in the car. just me and some good music and my thoughts.

grandmother and i got back around 3:00, and in the evening i headed out to cayce and dave's house for a night with old high school friends. christina often writes about her high school friends and how nice it is to spend time with people who knew you back when. it wasn't until last night that i realized that i feel the same way sometimes.

cayce, andrew, amanda, and jes. they knew me back when i had such huge stars in my eyes, when working for nasa was only a dream. they knew me back when i'd never traveled anywhere else, back when i was less sarcastic and more naive, back when i'd never had my heart broken, or put back together again. they knew me when i was a north carolinian through and through. before georgia and texas and california, and before europe and mexico left their marks in my head. they knew me back when i hadn't gone crazy, before i rediscovered sanity and peace.

they knew me before i grew up. and they got to watch me change.

last night i realized that my high school friends embody comfort, and all that is wonderful about being content. there is something magical about being with people who have known you for years, who can see the ways that you've changed but don't hesitate to see the ways that you're still the same person that they shared daily lunches on the quad with way back when.

i know that they are proud of me and who i've become and where i am, and that makes me feel good. and i can see their happiness as well, in their marriages and lives, and seeing them happy makes me happy too.

i have a bad habit of thinking to myself that "my life would be better if only..." if only this, or that, or i won the lottery. i need reminding that my life is really good. my high school friends can do that like no other.

they are one of my comforts this christmas.

Sunday, December 22, 2002

flying away

on friday when my plane left houston, it took the perfect departure path. lifting off into the south, we then paralleled I-45 as i watched ellington field pass off to the left. i spotted the house i lived in as a co-op, the mall, my apartment complex and bayou, the space center, and of course clear lake and the kemah bridge shining in the early morning sun. from there i traced egret bay down to 2094 and then to 518, all the way to the end of south shore boulevard where gavin and jen live, and where becca's new house is. we kept flying south until i could see the end of galveston island underneath, and bolivar peninsula. we finally turned to head northeast towards atlanta when we were out over the gulf of mexico.

it was the best view of the clear lake area i've ever had from the air, and i've taken off from hobby and ellington many times. it was so cool to be able to trace the streets and find the landmarks. and it really felt like i was looking at home. i guess houston is home now. for better or for worse, it's my home.

i went to church this morning with mom and katie. it was a nice service and the music was wonderful as usual. the music is my favorite thing about church in general, and though i've been to many churches over the years, i still think covenant does music like nowhere else i've found.

i also got to see a lot of the people i went to mexico with last summer. i was sort of nervous; i mean, i haven't seen them in six months and i didn't really know them that well to begin with. but i guess the experience sort of bonded us. it was nice to see so many of them again, even if we were just saying hello. i hope to be able to go back to mexico again this summer. i hope so.

Saturday, December 21, 2002

sigh sigh sigh

today was a great day, right up until the christmas tree fell over. yes, fell over. broke some ornaments, messed up the lights, spilled water all over the presents underneath.

see, we have these glasses that make the word "noel" appear around points of light. mom and i were sitting on the couch waggling our heads back and forth looking at a thousand "noels" when katie walked in the door, took one look at us, and said "hold on, i have to get my camera."

being in a festive mood and all, we decided to put the ornaments on the tree (last night we just did lights). we're happily hanging ornaments when suddenly i turn around to the sight of the tree falling over. i couldn't do anything but cry "oh oh oh!" before it hit the ground. i don't understand why it won't stay up. the screws are all screwed in, and it's resting on the bottom of the stand. i don't understand!

so now my engineering skills have been tested and proven to suck, and i just got online to comfort myself with email, only to find that no one emailed me.

sigh. i'm going to go drown myself in tolkien.

(the reindeer romp went well. katie finished in 29:55, i followed in 30:50. with my life and running outings in houston, i've forgotten what it's like to run a course with hills, but today i was reminded. hills suck.)

Friday, December 20, 2002

home again, home again, jiggity jog

i'm here in charlotte safe and sound after quite the airline ordeal. becca was nice enough to drive me to the airport at the crack of dawn (she picked me up at 5:30 a.m.), but i ended up sitting for a while. my flight from houston to atlanta left half an hour late because the crew got in to houston late last night and had to get their required downtime before flying again. no biggie, as i had a three hour layover in atlanta scheduled.

then, after boarding the plane to charlotte in atlanta, they found that the wingtip light was burned out or broken or something, so we sat in the plane on the ground for an hour and a half. i was reading for a while, and then fell asleep. when i woke up and realized we were still on the ground in atlanta, i turned on my phone and saw that it was 2:00! well, at 2:00 i was originally supposed to be in charlotte, so i called my dad and caught him and katie who were almost at the airport. they turned around and went back home, and dad came back later to get me once my plane actually left atlanta.

anyway. i really wasn't bothered because i wasn't in any hurry. i had a lovely lunch at houlihan's in the atlanta airport with carter, who met me there. i like that i have friends i can not see for a long time, and yet when we get together i forget that we've ever been apart. while talking to carter over lunch, i was thoroughly convinced that i still see him every day, even though it's been four months. it was a surprise to remember that i had to go catch my connecting flight, and that being able to have lunch with him was something unusual.

i am really lucky that way.

it is great to see my family. i've seen everyone except david, who's working late. this afternoon i went on a walk and then out to dinner with my mom, and when katie got home from work the three of us went to willie simpson's and bought the christmas tree. it's not as good a tree as in years past...it's sort of sparse at the bottom. but it was the best they had left. most of their trees were too short, so our selection was quite limited.

katie heard an ad on the radio yesterday about the reindeer romp 5k here. it was postponed two weeks ago in the big ice storm, so it's being held tomorrow. fun! i actually went online a while back searching for a race to run while i'm home but had no success, so it was a pleasant surprise to hear about this one. it starts at 10 a.m. tomorrow so katie and i are gonna go register and run. that will make 14 races in 2002 for me, and that makes me smile. if you'd told me in january that i would run 14 races this year, i never would have believed it.

Thursday, December 19, 2002

two towers two towers two towers

it's official. laura is the best co-op ever. she's been working with us all fall, she's extremely cool, and today she brought everyone in the group their own plate of really yummy cookies. i'm going to have to figure out a way to keep her here. we like her much more than texas a&m does, i'm sure. ;)

so we went to see "the two towers" last night, and it was awesome. thoughts:

• i love the ents. i love how slow they move. i love how they don't want to mess in anyone's business until someone messes in theirs. i love the idea of trees fighting back.
• liv tyler was unnecessary. or maybe i just don't like liv tyler.
• gollum was very well done. there were times that i forgot he was computer-done. i know that an actor originally did all the movements to make them realistic, and that definitely helped. but i was just amazed at how well-done gollum was. as carter would say, if the movie industry can do computer-generated characters that well, why make bad ones?
• comedy. two towers is a serious story, and i thought the bits of comic relief thrown in (gimli in particular) was nice. i laughed hardest i think when he couldn't see over the top of th wall at helm's deep.
• how the hell did legolas get onto that horse without being trampled? and who can surf on a shield while continually firing arrows with deadly accuracy? fantastic.
• new zealand. dear god, i must go there. it's gorgeous.
• viggo mortenson. yum. i like that "been dragged off a cliff by a crazy orc-wolf" rugged look. ;)

in the end, though i felt it took 20 minutes or so for the movie to really get going, i really enjoyed it. i can't believe i now have to wait another year for the final installment.

tonight i'm going to see a few friends in a local performance of oliver and packing because...i head home tomorrow! wahoo! christmas vacation.

Wednesday, December 18, 2002

movie anticipation

i forgot to mention that i posted a few pictures from the whole moving party on sunday. there aren't that many and they're not that great, but i was decidedly busy doing other things. ;)

anyway. last night i went over to gavin and jen's to watch "fellowship of the ring" (the extended version, of course) in preparation for going to see "the two towers" tonight. i'm quite excited about the new movie. yay yay yay.

this morning i went to the post office to mail a gift to my cousin-in-law frank, who i drew in the family gift exchange this year. the post office was a madhouse! i would hate to be a postal worker (or fedex, or ups, or the like) at christmas time; it must be stressful enough just trying to get the sheer volume of mail to the right places, and then you have to deal with annoying customers who wait until the last minute to mail their packages but are unwilling to pay extra to expediate delivery...

today is laura's exit lunch. it's too bad she is going back to school. we will miss having her around. i hope our next co-op is as cool.

also, i signed up to do my first 10k race in february--the rodeo run that ends at minute maid park! cool.

(10:10 a.m.)

	Yuoo ere-a zee Svedeesh Cheff! Yuoo ere-a a guud cuuk, thuoogh yuoo cun't speek Ingleesh fery vell. Bork Bork Bork!
Take the What Muppet Are You? Quiz!

yay! i love sweden!

Tuesday, December 17, 2002

frustration

my computer here at work shall now be known as "stupid bastard crack-smoking piece of crap." this moniker is directly related to the number of that phrase came out of my mouth yesterday.

talk about a frustrating day! it all started, of course, with the dead car battery. that problem was solved easily enough but resulted in me getting to work late. ugh. then my computer decided monday was as good a day as any to act up. when i first logged on, it connected to the network but didn't map to any of the mission operations drives. therefore i couldn't run exceed, which meant i couldn't connect to the flight mechanics lab, which meant i couldn't run any of my sims or get any of my data. nor could i run matlab, which mean i couldn't even make any pretty population maps!

(yes, i know that probably doesn't make any sense to anyone but becca, but oh well.)

so i busy myself with other things until after lunch, at which point i log off the computer, figuring i'll just log back in and my computer will connect to the network drives and i'll be fine. wrong. at this point, my computer decides to arbitrarily corrupt my password file, meaning not only can i not access the network drives, but i can't log on to anything. no email, none of my spreadsheets, no gro footprint document, no nothing. "stupid bastard crack-smoking piece of crap" once again comes out of my mouth.

so i call laz, our computer guy. no answer. i walk down to his office to get carlos (the backup guy's) number, and cheryl says laz is in the building. having nothing else to do, i walk the long way back to the office and spot laz in the dm3 branch office, at which point i give him my most charming smile and tell him "my computer's on crack." he laughed and walked back to my office with me and reset my password, which my computer amazingly agreed to accept. sigh. problem solved.

except then, finally back into the flight mechanics lab and running my heel breakup altitude sensitivity study, SORT apparently decides its just too good to bother with the monte carlo portions of my input decks and starts spitting out junk. aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh! at this point it's 6:00 and i think to myself "aw, screw it all" and so i went home. the only good thing i found yesterday was that apparently i was randomly given 10 hours of annual leave this pay period instead of 6. i have no idea why, but i'm not complaining.

i drove home in silence, too stressed out to even listen to the radio. all i could think of was getting home and going for a run to burn off all my frustration. i walked in the door, opened my mail (which contained the enormous bill for my next 6 months of car insurance, just to top off the day), yelled, threw it in the corner, and literally ran to the closet to find my shorts and running shoes.

one 31:00 5k later, i felt much better.

Monday, December 16, 2002

the battery...she's dead, sir

so this morning i discovered why one should not procrastinate when it comes to needing a new battery for their car.

i've known for a couple weeks now that my car battery was on its last legs. the car was sluggish to start in the mornings, and especially in the evenings after sitting outside in the cold all day...not to mention that the battery was more than five years old to begin with (which is definitely approaching the lifespan of a battery anyway). but i procrastinated.

so this morning i walked outside, hopped in my car, turned the key and...zzzzt. nothing. the battery wasn't totally dead because the console lights came on and my headlights worked (albeit quite dimly), but there wasn't enough juice to make the engine turn over. i quickly realized my weekend error...er, or my idiocy.

see, i spilled some water in my trunk and wanted to let it dry out. so i left the trunk open in my garage all weekend, totally forgetting that this would mean the tiny little trunk light would also be on all weekend. on a good battery, i doubt that a day and a half with the trunk light on would have been enough to drain the power to the point where the engine wouldn't start. on an already weak battery, though...

anyway, i was lucky enough to catch debbie still at home, so she brought her car over, i managed to shift mine into neutral and push it out of the garage so that my jumper cables could reach from debbie's car to mine, and jump-started ol' vic. he was quite sluggish to charge, but finally had enough to allow me to drive to firestone and immediately replace the battery. i didn't get to work until 9:45, which sucks because now i have to stay until 6:15 to get in my 8 hours! yuck.

and batteries are expensive! ugh. well, merry christmas to my car.

Sunday, December 15, 2002

new home sweet new home

it's funny how 7:00 seems really late when you get up at 7 a.m. and spend the next 10 hours driving a uhaul and doing heavy lifting. every muscle in my body got a workout today, and i think every muscle is trying to make me pay for it. and yet it's oddly satisfying. tonight i feel like i could conquer the world, and all i did was move some furniture. ;)

anyway, for all intents and purposes, becca and kennda (becca's new roommate) are all moved into their new home! there are still some odds and ends left in their respective apartments, but the vast majority of their belongings and all of their furniture is now in the new house.

the best part of the whole day was that i got to be the pimpin' uhaul driver. hee hee. it was quite fun to drive the big 14-foot truck back and forth between apartments and the house. becca and i picked up the truck at 8 a.m., drove to lowe's to pick up the refrigerator, got the washer and dryer from the home of the woman becca bought them from, delivered the appliances to the house, and finally got back to her apartment at 10:00. soon there were a dozen people ferrying boxes and furniture from the apartment to the truck, and then from the truck to the house. we made three trips--one and a half to becca's apartment, one and a half to kennda's place.

i have to admit that the day went surprisingly smoothly. i had expected some headaches and problems that inevitably occur during a move, but i think the biggest issue we had was getting the refrigerator through the door. and that was quickly solved by the combined power of our engineering minds and a tool kit. the door came off its hinges and voila, the refrigerator was inside.

it really is a lovely house. it makes me want a house...

Saturday, December 14, 2002

memories

sometimes a memory takes me by surprise and leaves me awestruck with its power. it only takes one little trigger.

yesterday i was leaving work bundled in my coat. as i walked through the automatic doors and the cool air hit me and the twilight sky filled my eyes, all of a sudden i wasn't in houston anymore. i hadn't just walked out of drab, beige building 30 into a sea of asphalt...i had just walked out the door of the durand building into a cool california evening. i unlocked my bike, threw my bag over my shoulder, and with a few strong pumps i was coasting down the hill toward the north side of the quad. i rode in, the bike tires starting to rattle on the cobblestone. i cruised past the church, with its stained glass window glowing from the light inside. i rode out the other end of the quad, turned left to go around the library, past the dumpster and hoover tower and serra mall and finally pulled to a stop in front of a run-down wooden building with a sky-blue door with the white shape of an ocean wave. people laughed inside as i fumbled with the beat-up magnetic lock that always took a couple tries to open. inside was a wood-paneled room that was always well-lit but never well-heated. couches in one corner, tables everywhere else, a canadian flag hanging upside-down on the wall (but no one really knew why). someone rang the bell...

and then i tripped over the curb and was suddenly wrenched back to houston. walked to my car. got in, turned the key, put matchbox twenty in the cd player. took a deep breath. smiled. and drove home.

i think living through the bad makes you more appreciative of the good.

Friday, December 13, 2002

restaurant roundabout

wooo, friday the 13th, woooo.

now that that's taken care of...

last night i went out to dinner with the local georgia tech alumni club at a mexican restaurant over on the west side of town. me being the prepared person that i am, i made sure to print out directions to the restaurant, which was at the meyerland plaza mall. well, when i got all the way up there, i realized that while i had mapped out the directions perfectly, i had completely forgotten the name of the restaurant!! really smart, yeah. thankfully i remembered that we were having mexican food, so after two laps around the parking lot i finally spotted the only mexican restaurant in the area. it turned out to be the right one.

dinner was fun overall, not to mention that chrissy and liz were both there and it was really nice to see them. we couldn't even remember the last time we'd gotten together (october, maybe?). we're quite pathetic that way. the three of us are fairly good friends, and we all live in the same city (hell, chrissy and i live within as little as a 5-minute drive of each other), and yet we get together maybe once every couple months. somehow time seems to fly by.

becca officially owns a house now; she closed yesterday. scary, i know. ;)

tonight is kennda's cookie party. i don't really know what this involves except that i'm supposed to bring 4 dozen cookies and we'll decorate sugar cookies at the party. based on this knowledge, i've deduced that there are going to be a lot of cookies floating around. anyway, i have to make cookies this evening after i get home from work, or i guess i'm not allowed to go to the party.

(12:24 p.m.)

i actually did this little quiz thingy yesterday, and today it is making the rounds. very weird. i can't remember where i saw it yesterday but it must have been somewhere that my friends also look...

I WAS A GIFTED CHILD
i had my niche.
intelligent. creative. or artistic.
what kind of child were you?
(brought you by april)

Thursday, December 12, 2002

matchbox twenty and stupid computers

i woke up this morning to the local mix station playing an acoustic version of matchbox twenty's "if you're gone" that they recorded when rob thomas and adam gaynor were in their studio yesterday. happy sigh. it sounded awesome; what i wouldn't give to have been there! i got in to work and immediately figured out how to connect to the radio station via the internet, because a few minutes ago they played the other performance from yesterday--an acoustic version of "disease." it was fantastic. i'm not the type of person that waxes poetic and gets all googly-eyed over some band, but matchbox twenty comes close to making me do just that.

the flight mechanics lab computers have been barfing all over me the past two days. here's hoping they don't crash today, or i won't really have much to do...

well, i didn't end up going to the grocery store last night, so instead of salmon i had spiced couscous and hamburger, which i know sounds very very odd, but tastes good to me (i discovered it one night when i was getting rid of leftovers). perhaps there are some of my dad's weird eating habits in me after all. if i start eating green bean soup i'll know that i'm really in trouble. "one can green beans. one can tomato soup. heat it. eat it. yum!"

i'll have to go to the store today or tomorrow. i just don't like going to the grocery store very much, so i always procrastinate. but my list is getting pretty long and it's been three weeks, so...yeah.

last night i made a last-gasp effort to save my slave hard drive, which died about a month and a half ago. i had gone online to fill out the warranty form from western digital when i saw a little statement saying to please thoroughly check the drive before sending it back to them because they get many returned drives that are actually still in working order. so i downloaded their diagnostic software and hooked the previously dead hard drive back up and voila! it worked. the diagnostic ran and came back and said nothing is wrong with the drive. cool, right? their program magically resurrected my hard drive from the dead!!

well, that was until i tried to use the drive. while it was well enough to let me copy some of the data and mp3s i thought i'd lost onto my good (but smaller) hard drive, it definitely was not well enough to be written to. every time i tried, the computer froze and eventually gave me "cannot write to drive d" on the blue screen of death. so it can be copied from, but not written to. their diagnostic tool sucks!

anyway, long story short, i am sending them their dumb drive back and i am actually quite annoyed, as the drive is only 6 months old and has failed. stupid computer.

in the meantime, the computers here at work aren't dying at the moment, so i'd better take advantage.

Wednesday, December 11, 2002

everybody's working for the weekend

i feel better this morning than i have in a while, which is odd, because i really didn't get any more sleep than usual. i dunno. for some reason i feel more awake than i usually do. it's nice.

i was at work until 6:30 last night as my last gasp to earn enough credit hours to take next friday off continues. i really don't have much of a choice in the matter--i have to earn the credit hours because i will be taking next friday off. airplanes don't like to wait for people, as i've discovered over the years.

last night i went over to chris's to have pasta and watch 24. it's becoming our tuesday night thing, apparently, because freaking softball keeps getting freaking rained out. the season is now over, with us having played a grand total of 4 games. sheesh. we'll start again next spring and hope for less rain.

tonight i have no plans, and i like it that way, since i do have plans for tomorrow (gt alumni holiday dinner) and the rest of the weekend (cookie party and housewarming party). so i'm going to go to the grocery store, go home, fix myself a nice dinner (hmm, maybe i'll buy some salmon, yum), and chill out. watch mindless tv and stuff. last night i watched the premiere of a show on bbc america called "what not to wear." it's quite funny. there are two british fashion people who secretly follow someone around for a couple weeks, then surprise them by saying "you have absolutely no sense of style at all...but to make up for having just insulted you mercilessly, we'll give you 2000 pounds ($3000) to go buy a new wardrobe from fancy high street stores!" ok, maybe not in those exact words, but you get the idea. in any case, it was amusing. if nothing else, it's better than this show one of the networks is doing where they send 3 people to get plastic surgery. ugh.

Tuesday, December 10, 2002

candle madness

hola. this morning i helped diego compare and contrast soccer and game boy. i wonder if his teacher just makes up these assignments as she goes along. odd. anyway, now i'm at work with a lousy parking space as a result of being late because of tutoring. wah me. ;)

so yes, if you've read becca's update for the day, i did indeed host a partylite candle party last night. and yes, as becca states, the concept is only slightly less shady than an outright pyramid scheme. no argument with her points there. i agreed to host because it helped my friend betsy out, and hey, it doesn't hurt me any. the only money i have to spend is $20 on some snacks for the people who came, and in return i get to have people over to my apartment (which i like) and i get $100 of candle stuff for free. it's a no-lose situation for me, and so i had no problem with becca coming over to hang out and snack, even though i knew ahead of time she wasn't going to buy anything.

what i did have a problem with was her sarcasm and rudeness towards the other people at the party, enough that it led more than one person to comment on her attitude after she'd left and forced me to apologize to julie, the candle lady. i don't like having to apologize for the behavior of others, especially when they are my friends. anyway, if becca is allowed to make fun of me today on her webpage, i'm allowed to gripe about her behavior on my webpage. :)

never fear though people, we're not fighting or anything. just another typical day in our office. with leftover brownies from last night!

we're supposed to have softball but after a whole day of rain yesterday, i'm sure it's going to be cancelled again. {sigh} i swear, there have been more weeks of cancelled softball than weeks that we've actually played. let's see...by my count, we've missed 5 weeks, and only played 3. yup. that sucks.

(2:07 p.m.)

for those who requested it, here's a picture of my short hair. jason says i'm not smiling enough, and that i look stoned. becca says i just look dazed. hmm. i thought i looked normal enough. oh well.

(3:10 p.m.)

i forgot, i posted pictures from the two races this weekend. see them here!

Monday, December 09, 2002

cleaning up and out

becca has been sucked into gavin's world of early mornings, late nights, matlab headaches and not being able to say "no" when someone asks if you can get them this chart by tomorrow (when actually you need about a week to do it). poor becca.

yesterday i did a lot of straightening around my apartment, and it looks pretty good. i can tell i've done a good job when i walk into my living room the next morning and think "wow, where did all my stuff go?"

hmm. i really don't have much to say today so far.

(4:37 p.m.)

wahoo! my group lead just came into the office and says i'm going to be joining a small group entering the second phase of a guidance/targeting study. i'm going to have something besides debris footprints to do. hurrah!

in other news, it is nasty outside. i'm not looking forward to having to walk through the cold and wet to my car. yuck yuck. fortunately, my clean and straightened apartment will be nice and cozy.

Sunday, December 08, 2002

a new personal record!

so, my hair is really short. i sort of realized this yesterday, but it was cemented a few hours ago in the shower when i reached back to shampoo my hair and grasped only air. it's not short in a bad way, but it's definitely different and is taking some getting used to. i can't be sure, but i don't think i've had it this short since senior year of high school (and that was 6.5 years ago). i said shoulder-length; the hair-cutter apparently heard chin-length. but i think i like it.

anyway. time for more exciting news. i ran another 5k this morning (completing my pair of weekend races) that finished on the 50-yard line of reliant stadium. after running a new personal record of 31:40 yesterday, i didn't really expect much today. well guess what--i ran the race in 30:09!!! i am soooooo excited. i don't really know how it happened. i ran the first half of the race with debbie before pulling about a minute and a half ahead of her, and she said we took off really quickly. i didn't look at my watch when we passed mile 1, so i don't know how quickly we ran that one. and there never was a marker for mile 2, so i really had no idea what kind of pace i was on. next thing i knew i passed the marker for mile 6 (the marker was for the 10k people), and knowing i had only 0.2 miles to go (since the races finished at the same spot) i glanced at my watch to find 28:40! i couldn't believe my eyes, but i picked up the pace a bit more for the home stretch and just barely missed finishing in under half an hour. maybe next time!

in any case, i'm excited.

and to top that, my plans for the afternoon are...cleaning my apartment. fun, fun. ugh.

Saturday, December 07, 2002

zzzzz

the past 24 hours. highlights:

• a trip to the compaq center for an aeros (the houston minor league hockey team) game
• jason catching and then giving me an aeros t-shirt with the name of their sponsor--IKEA!!!--on the back ("you don't have to be rich. just smart.")
• a new personal record in a 5k! 31:40 this morning at the reindeer run!
• soccer game immediately after finishing a 5k, though we lost miserably
• haircut (it's quite short now)
• pedicure (ahhhhhhhh)
• mexican food with becca
• a trip to lowe's to get 1) a mini-christmas tree for my apartment and 2) a pretty wreath for my front door that appropriately was from a tree farm in...north carolina :)

lowlights:

• i am freaking tired. heading to bed early because we're running another race tomorrow morning that ends on the 50 yard line of reliant stadium...too cool to pass up.
  File under: Diaryland Import
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  Friday, December 06, 2002

  it's really coming down...in charlotte

  now this is the kind of winter's day that i love. cold, but brilliantly sunny. it's beautiful outside.

  it is not so beautiful in charlotte. i turned on my cell phone yesterday as i was leaving work and had a message from my parents. not only did they lose power (and thus, heat) in the big east coast ice storm, but my dad's car is likely totalled after he got hit in the driver's side door by a couple of mexican guys early yesterday morning. he has a lump on his head because the force of the impact tossed his head into the window and smashed the window.

  he's ok, thank god. i thoroughly berated him for not wearing his seatbelt. he never wears his seatbelt, which really really bothers me. taking defensive driving this past week and seeing video of crash test dummies with and without seatbelts (dummy with seatbelt gets a nice thud but stays put, dummy without seatbelt has his head smash through the windshield and his neck snapped) only made me worry more. i don't know how i can convince him that it's worthwhile to wear a seatbelt, even if he finds it a bit uncomfortable.

  anyway, after driving around all day in the car because it beat staying home in a cold house, my parents split up for the night. my mom spent last night at a friend's house, while my dad decided to "be a man" and tough it out in our heatless and lightless house. he told some story about how he was used to it, because when he was a kid there was snow in his bedroom that didn't melt. he said he'd just sleep under lots of covers, then get up and take a hot shower. fortunately for him we have a gas water heater. sigh. my dad is such a freak show.

  i'm so sad that tom glavine is leaving the braves. there is no loyalty in baseball.

  last night was the branch christmas party. i think it went well. becca and i were in charge, and i think we had a decent turnout. the gift exchange was humorous as well...especially when ray (our group lead) ended up with a frog downspout cover!

  the party also reminded me how much i love my group. my branch (ascent/entry flight dynamics) is organized into 4 groups (ascent analysis, descent analysis, flight dynamics and landing support (fdo), and guidance and procedures (gpo)), and the party last night only proved that mine is by far the most social and the most compatible as a group.

  there was no one at the restaurant last night from the gpo group, only 3 ascent analysis people, and 5 from the fdo/lso group. not only we were the only group that had every person there, but we were also the last people to leave. and we all get along so well... it seems like you're always seeing movies that portray office christmas parties as awkward affairs where you're forced to socialize with people you don't really care about (i'm thinking bridget jones's diary where she's doing drunk karaoke half-heartedly). that is never the case with our group. we have so much fun, and actually enjoy each other's company both in and out of the office. it's cool. it's a definite advantage to working where i do.

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  Thursday, December 05, 2002

  ivan the amaryllis

  the past two mornings have made me realize how nice it is to have a garage. yesterday, when it was pouring rain, i didn't have to struggle with closing the umbrella and the car door at the same time while simultaneously trying not to let too much water in. today, when it was really cold outside, my car was still reasonably warm because it didn't spend the night outside.

  yay garage.

  i think that when becca wears festive/tacky earrings to work, she's just asking for me to tease her.

  i totally want a camera phone. i am so susceptible to advertising. and george just clued me in on how to get t-mobile to give me the phone i want...because amazon has really good online rebates that will get me a camera phone for free with new activation. so i just wait till january when my contract is about to expire, call them up, ask for the phone i want, and then when they tell me they can't give it to me, i just threaten to cancel, explaining that i can get the phone i want for free online! then they give me what i want. it worked for george. :)

  i found this cool 5k for us to do in january. it's the first ever rockets run (as in the houston rockets, the nba team), and running the race gets you not only the usual race t-shirt, but it also gets you a complimentary ticket to the rockets-nuggets basketball game that night! cool! i haven't been to an nba game since i went with courtney to see the lakers play the hawks in atlanta two years ago, and before that, not since junior high or something...when the hornets were still a new phenomenon and they hadn't moved to new orleans. ah well. silly hornets.

  tonight is the branch christmas party. fun fun. except i still haven't bought my $10 exchange gift yet...help, i need ideas!! i was going to buy an amaryllis bulb because i am all in love with the amaryllis i am currently growing on my kitchen counter, but becca says that's a girl-specific gift. she is probably right. but speaking of my own amaryllis, i've decided that i'm going to call him ivan and take pictures of his growth and make a webpage to prove my plant-growing abilities (which are doubted by many, many people after a couple unfortunate episodes with cactii).

  and that's all she wrote.

  (10:17 a.m.)

  i have many friends that also keep online journals. it's nice, because i always have a way to know something about what they're thinking. today, christina wrote something i really liked. (i always hesitate to link to my friends' pages for reasons i don't want to put into words, but then again, we all know that when you publish online, you forfeit control of who reads what you write. therefore, i decided to go ahead and give the link because i don't want to copy and paste her entire entry.) she has a way of putting her ideas into words that i just can't match. her entry from yesterday about relationships and dating in my generation is very much how i find myself feeling these days. the most astute of her observations in my opinion:

  i think it is because my generation forms deep intimate relationships with friends - not physically intimate, but emotionally and socially intimate, so those needs are being filled by friends which were before being only filled by lovers. and so we fulfill our physical intimacy needs with random hook ups - with friends, with strangers.

  File under: Diaryland Import
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  Wednesday, December 04, 2002

  i'm so funny, and i'm so slow

  it's raining cats and dogs outside today. really. i almost got hit by a beagle on the way in.

  (hahahaha, i kill me!)

  honestly though, it's nasty outside. i got up dark and early to go to fitness class, and found it pouring rain outside. i resisted the temptation to crawl back in bed by thinking "oh, but today is the last day of class and it's our fitness test, i have to go or greta will be disappointed, plus i want to see how much i've improved"...only to arrive at gilruth to find that greta wasn't there because her driveway was flooded and she couldn't get her car onto the road. sigh. oh well.

  because it's rainy, and because i don't like to run on the treadmill (it gives me more shin pain than running on the road for some reason), i ended up being glad that i was talked into running with jason last night. he wanted to run 6 miles to make sure he'd be ok in the 10k he's running on sunday; i ran the first three miles with him to keep him on a slow pace, and then i walked another mile and a half while he ran another 3. he finished in just over an hour. he said his goal was to finish the 10k sunday in under an hour; he's going to have absolutely no problem with that. as for me, i'm running the 5k on sunday (both races are part of the same event), and i'm aiming for 31:30.

  enough boring running babble. dull, dull, dull.

  carter got a new camera yesterday but my curiosity is still unsatisfied, as he couldn't download any pictures last night to send me. stupid batteries.

  jordan called last night to hear about stanford; jordan is a guy i know from tech who was a couple years behind me. he's graduating this month and trying to decide where he wants to go to grad school in the fall. i love stanford. i miss stanford.

  i also got to talk to nick finally, since megan has gone and he no longer has visitors to distract him from my all-important calls. ;) he is recovering from being sick, thank goodness. on monday i got the following email from him that totally cracked me up:

  I'm so sick...come take care of me. I want to come home. Freaking country with its freaking food that freaking made me freaking sick. I've been sitting here all day watching Dawson's Creek in French and I am bored to tears. GD.

  i cannot wait to go visit him. we are going to have so much fun. and we are going to climb a mountain! and it was his idea to climb it! yayayayayay.

  oh. i found out on sunday that i am too old for advent treats this year. mom decided that graduation was the cutoff. how disappointing.

  (4:19 p.m.)

  the idea of going to san francisco/stanford in may to visit people/run bay to breakers again has just occurred to me. half-joking, but half-serious. this could be quite fun.

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  Tuesday, December 03, 2002

  tutoring confusion

  so i tutored again this morning. it was all confusing at first because debbie (the woman in charge of tutoring, not my friend debbie) wasn't in her classroom, and i didn't know where diego's classroom was because she didn't show me last time and i didn't think to ask. i had no idea where debbie was, so i sat in her room and amused myself by making faces at the turtle.

  after about 10 minutes i decided to walk back up to the office to ask if they knew where she was. turns out she was across the road at target with the choir (random!) but another woman was able to help me find diego by going to all the 4th grade classrooms and checking the student lists posted outside the doors. so we were about 20 minutes late getting started. he did some more multiplication, as well as a few words problems (in spanish--he had to translate for me, sheesh), and when he finished that, i made him do a few more problems with elevens and twelves. he didn't want to, but i convinced him. mwa ha ha. ;)

  when we were done i gave him one of the space station expedition 6 stickers that cindy brought around the office yesterday. diego didn't know what nasa or the space shuttle or astronauts were. i have my work cut out for me!

  anyway. it was fun. diego is a nice kid.

  we're supposed to have softball tonight, but i think we may be rained out. it hasn't actually rained yet, but it was the foggiest i've ever seen outside this morning (i couldn't even see the kemah bridge until i was on it), and i don't think the weather is supposed to get any better; on the weather.com map, all i can see is various shades of green headed my way. the weird thing is that it's warm outside. after spending a year in and around san francisco, i associate fog with chill.

  anyway. i'm being pretty boring this morning. maybe i'll have more to say later.

  (12:23 p.m.)

  i love the mirror in the women's bathroom here at work. i am convinced that it is slightly concave, making one appear thinner than they actually are. i want this mirror in my apartment. it makes me feel quite attractive.

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  Monday, December 02, 2002

  a bunch of babble

  it smells funky outside this morning. like wood smoke. only it's not coming from someone's fireplace, because it fills the air all over clear lake. i smelled it at gilruth this morning on my way to fitness class. i smelled it leaving my apartment after changing clothes. i smelled it walking in from the parking lot. and i may be imagining, but it seemed like it was more than fog all over the place. i dunno. something's weird.

  i ran in the 5-mile jingle bell run downtown yesterday. i was really proud of myself for making it the whole way in...53:55. honestly, i think the course may have been just a tad long. i passed mile 1 in 10:32, mile 2 in 21:05 and mile 3 in 31:37. but didn't reach mile 4 until 43:30. and then finished at 53:55. now, count with me. miles 1, 2, 3 and 5 took about 10:30 each, and yet mile 4 randomly took me almost 12 minutes?? adding fuel to my fire is the fact that the course was a simple out and back course...which means that mile 3 and mile 2 should have been marked in the same place, just on opposite sides of the road. and they weren't.

  anyway. i think the course was ~1/10 of a mile longer than advertised. but the run was fun. they gave us foam reindeer ears, which i wore of course, and jingle bells to tie on shoes, which i thought would be annoying, but turned out not to be.

  there's a cnn story today about cell phones and driving that says the statistics quoted were based on an average cell phone user who uses 600 minutes a year. that's got to be a typo. i'd guess that the average cell phone user sucks up 600 minutes a month.

  so it was really a very quiet weekend in my life. saturday i piddled around the apartment, watched my yellow jackets get trounced, talked on the phone, and did 2/3 of my online defensive driving course (that i have to finish by wednesday). yesterday i ran, ate, and did more defensive driving. i have one 40-minute lesson left. it is so annoying for three main reasons, 1) everything in the lessons is common sense, 2) the webpage requires you to spend a certain amount of time on each page and that amount of time is too long (i.e. i am required to spend a full minute on a page that contains 2 sentences, which leads to me sitting there twiddling my thumbs, because in order for the counter to work, my browser has to be the selected window, which means i can't even go check email or something), and 3) the questions are absurd. here's a sample question: "the speaker in the video was a a) woman, b) man, c) child." or "the color of the speaker's shirt was a) red, b) blue, c) black."

  the sad thing is that i'm not even kidding. half the questions don't even cover defensive driving-related material; they just test you to make sure you watched the video. i missed one question because i was paying attention to the video and didn't remember whether the kid's name was a) jimmy, b) johnny, or c) joey. ugh. i'm so glad i only have 40 minutes left.

  anyway. enough babbling.

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  ¶ 12.02.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, November 30, 2002

  georgia showdown day

  i can't believe tomorrow is december. wow.

  so last night cari, debbie, becca and i had a girl's night at the movies, and we chose to see....die another day. yes, four girls out without the boys, free to see whatever cheesy romantic comedy we've been secretly wanting to see...and we chose james bond. funny.

  before we left, everybody came over to my place and we had leftover turkey and sweet potatoes (well, except for becca who doesn't eat turkey). yum. i still have more, so i am eating them for lunch today as well. i really should make sweet potatoes more often since i like them so much...but they seem like such a thanksgiving food!

  anyway. it's time for the georgia tech vs. uga game, so i'm off to watch. i don't know what our chances are, georgia's pretty darn good this year, but...go tech!!

  (6:19 p.m.)

  sigh.

  tech is getting massacred.

  a good friend took a job and i didn't know, because we never talk anymore. i don't know why we never talk anymore. i am not confident enough in my friendships.

  president bush has suggested that i (and my fellow civil servants) not get my full raise next year because "full statutory civilian pay increases in 2003 would interfere with our nation's ability to pursue the war on terrorism."

  bullshit, bushie!

  i just watched the space shuttle and space station glide silently overhead, joined together by a small docking ring to form a bright unwavering star in the sky. there were 10 people in that bright star that i could see swimming through the sky from my balcony. and i thought, "i help make that happen. i do my small part to make that happen."

  that's why i came to nasa, that's why i sacrificed a higher salary and a cushier work environment and instead toil as a civil servant in my plain beige building with my uncomfortable old-as-dirt chair and my crappy government-issued computer. despite that, i do good work. we do good work. to have the president say that we're not worthy of our normal pay raise because he needs the money to feed an already obese military is a slap in the face.

  (7:11 p.m.)

  i just called my friend to catch up, and ask him about the job he's taken. it took me an hour and a half to work up the courage to dial his number for a six minute conversation. he was busy. he said he'd call back in a week or so.

  even when we know our feelings are absurd, it is so hard to overcome them. i was honestly frightened to pick up the phone to call someone i used to be so incredibly close to, someone who was a best friend before distance got in the way. confidence in friendships? yeah, i have none. stupid, stupid sarah.

  File under: Diaryland Import
  ¶ 11.30.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, November 29, 2002

  recovering from my turkey and sweet potato binge

  i feel like i made the mistake of coming to work on a sunday or something. there is no one here. the parking lot was as empty as i've ever seen it, despite the fact that there's a flight up right now (meaning there are mission controllers who must be here round-the-clock). i think becca and i should have chair races down the hall. either that, or go with becca's idea to rearrange the furniture in our mentor rich's office.

  two funny bits from sfgate's morning fix:

  Because Aliens Love Your Dumb Business Card
  The Moon is open for business. A California company plans to fly the world's first private mission to the moon next year, delivering messages, business cards, cremated remains, and whatever other moronic crap they can think of, for a fee. TransOrbital Inc. signed a $20 million contract to use decommissioned Soviet-built ballistic missiles for commercial space launches. The unmanned space vehicle, called the TrailBlazer, would orbit the moon for about three months, taking photos, before crashing onto its surface. Private messages, cremated remains and other crap will be carried in a capsule designed to survive the crash. The company charges $2,500 for a business card. Messages start at $16.95. Inert materials are $2,500 per gram. TransOrbital said the company hopes to fly regular missions to the moon. "Wait wait wait, let me get this straight," said the Gods of Goddamn Human Decency and Common F--king Sense, "You're going to crash a bunch of crappy Russian missiles into the Moon's surface and discharge a bunch of inane business cards and jewelry and powdered dead people and useless solipsistic garbage? Is this a joke? What the hell is wrong with you people? What, you think you own the moon now? Are you all just simpering money-drunk capitalistic jackasses? Is that it?" the gods all said, just a little bitterly. "What's next, dumping 20 million gallons of crude oil in the ocean near Spain?" it added. "Oh wait."

  Giant, Elegant, Beautiful, And Dead
  Sure, the towering 76-foot Christmas tree installed in New York's Rockefeller Center looks huge, but it's a dwarf next to Miami's 110-foot giant in Bayfront Park. The company decorating Miami's waterfront park -- a balmy patch dotted with un-Christmas-like palm trees -- got its Norway Spruce through a Christmas tree merchant from a private residence in Yorktown Heights, N.Y., a suburb north of NYC. Delivery included a certificate stating the tree is the "tallest Christmas tree in America," gosh isn't that nice, cities now competing to see who can chop the biggest oldest most beautiful tree and prop it up in their tourist meccas and string it with a billion lights for about a month before it becomes firewood. Is there not some sort of mute sadness attached to this ridiculous practice? Can we not just sigh sadly at the loss of a 110-foot spruce just so sticky Miami can claim the biggest xmas tree?

  i get these morning humor emails from sfgate, and i love them because the guy that writes them is so incredibly sarcastic. you know how some people think jackass-style humor is the funniest thing around? that kind of stuff never really makes me laugh. i don't find crude or bodily function-related other generally low-brow humor all that funny...but show me something said or written that just drips with sarcasm, and you'll get me every time.

  anyway. i can already tell it's going to be hard to get anything done here today. becca and i are taking advantage of the absense of boys (and their associated picky eating habits) to have lunch at mediterraneano's. mmm.

  oh! and thanksgiving dinner yesterday went very well. we had so much turkey that everyone got to take home plenty of leftovers (turkey sandwiches for me this weekend!), my sweet potatoes turned out mmm mmm good (and since not everyone likes sweet potatoes, i have lots of leftovers, yummy), and everything else was great as well. it was nice to have people to have thanksgiving with.

  i called home yesterday and was chastised by my grandmother for saying that i'm going to root for stanford tonight when they take on unc in the preseason nit final. the fact that i am an alumni of stanford seemed have no effect on her perception that i was rooting for "some california school instead of [my] home state." she is funny.

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  Thursday, November 28, 2002

  turkey day thanks

  it's cold outside and warm inside and soon, i'll have sweet potatoes filling my apartment with their delicious smell. it feels like the holidays, like i could wrap myself up in thanksgiving and christmas. last night i pulled out the holiday music for the first time and it just felt...soooo cozy. yum. in the meantime, here's my list. some things i'm thankful for...

  • my family and my friends, who, through their love and support, make me remember every day how lucky i really am
  • the physical ability to run, and complete a 5k on thanksgiving day (i ran the turkey trot this morning with optimistic hopes of 31:00, realistic hopes of 32:00, and actual results of 32:18. i can do better.)
  • thoughtful friends like debbie, who, when i went to borrow a mixer from her this morning, greeted me with "here's the mixer, and here's a present for you." the present was an ice bag. to ice my shin splints. so thoughtful!
  • amusing friends like becca, who lost her car key at the turkey trot, prompting an exasperated call to ron to see if a) he could pick us up at the galleria and b) he could find a locksmith who actually works on thanksgiving
  • watchful guidance from above, that helped becca miraculously find the key lying on the ground, thus avoiding much hassle
  • the fact that i'm not a hula dancer on the hula float at the macy's day parade--it looks cold.
  • friends to share thanksgiving dinner with this afternoon
  • thoughtful conversation, and calm debate, whether via phone, internet, or face-to-face
  • visitors
  • my balcony overlooking the bayou
  • a steady job doing something i am good at with the potential to affect the space program and hence the world in a big way

  of course there are many more things i'm thankful for. but that's my 5 minute list.

  (3:00 p.m.)

  my sweet potatoes are almost done (the marshmellows are browning). while cooking, i watched "billy elliot" for the first time in a while. i cried like a baby. such a good movie.

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  Wednesday, November 27, 2002

  my inner architect

  brrr! according to the weatherman, a "cold front" carrying "arctic air" has arrived. (question. isn't it impossible for a cold front to not carry arctic air if you live in the northern hemisphere? isn't saying "an arctic cold front" sort of like saying "tcby yogurt"? meaning it's repetitive? hmm. i just realized that the word "repetitive" is itself rather repetitive in the way it sounds...)

  anyway, give me a break, it's pretty empty in the office today and i'm already thinking of the day off tomorrow. original point being that it is cold! and rainy. and hence generally disgusting outside. the good news is that last night i was able to legitimately wear my winter coat and the wool hat i got in scotland. i can't believe sunday is december freaking 1st. wow.

  last night i was watching mtv (yes, i admit it, i occasionally watch the crap on mtv, and i enjoy it) and they were showing cribs, this show where they go around to various celebrity homes and the celebrity shows you all the cool things in their house, etc. i like this show mainly because i love looking at houses in general. i like to see layout, and location, and how they've been decorated...and you have to admit, celebrities do tend to have some really neat things in their homes.

  so last night the first house they showed was the coolest house ever. it was in barcelona and belonged to some spanish pop star, paula rubio? something like that. anyway, she lived in this building that used to be some sort of factory, and it was on a hillside overlooking the entire city of barcelona. it had these neat arches everywhere, arched windows, incredibly high ceilings (ah, i loooove high ceilings), and the coolest layout of any house i've ever seen. i wanted to take out a few million dollar loan and buy it from her NOW. it was sooo cool.

  if this rocket science thing doesn't work out, i totally want to go back to school and study either architecture or industrial design. either that, or win the lottery and move to the coolest house ever in barcelona.

  (9:37 p.m.)

  a week ago i said i needed a break from diaryland, and that my entries would be getting shorter.

  i am such a liar. unintentional, yes. but true? no. i think i have an addiction.

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  ¶ 11.27.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, November 26, 2002

  yeah yeah blah blah

  hola. not much to speak of today. i was at work late last night because now that i've bought my plane ticket home, and been forced to get one that leaves at 7:15 a.m. on a day i was supposed to be working, i now have to earn 5 extra hours over the next three weeks. this doesn't sound like a big deal, but it's always harder than i think it will be. one, because i usually earn an extra hour during the first part of the week anyway, but i always use it on friday, when we take a long lunch and i want to go home early. and two, because i hate staying late, especially during the fall and winter, when working late means not leaving until the sun is well below the horizon. and that's depressing.

  ah well.

  we were supposed to have softball tonight, but apparently we were the only team that could actually field enough players to avoid a forfeit. so the guy in charge cancelled all the games and rescheduled for later in december. i was looking forward to playing. instead, chris said he'd feed me jambalaya that he needs to get rid of before he leaves for thanksgiving.

  i've volunteered to make sweet potatoes for our group thanksgiving dinner on thursday. since it's already tuesday, i suppose that means i should go to the grocery store and...buy some sweet potatoes.

  i know potato doesn't have an "e" but what about potatoes? potatos? i can't decide which is right. (pause to look it up.) ah. i did it right the first time. potatoes.

  told you there wasn't much to speak of today.

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  ¶ 11.26.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, November 25, 2002

  angry clouds

  the clouds looked strange this morning. they looked angry. there is a front coming through and it's supposed to rain for the next few days, but i have never seen such oddly angry clouds.

  i talked to nick not once, but twice this weekend. it was nice. i miss him. i cannot wait to go visit; yesterday at barnes and noble i bought a guide to the provence region of france, and i'm going to look through it to find lots of cool places to visit. i'm pretty sure we've already decided to visit marseille and a little town that is sort of like venice...but i also want to find some neat things to do during the day while he is in class.

  i've decided that i need to get this scholarship that he has. the rotary people over there are always planning cool activities; this weekend he got to go pick olives! how completely french. {sigh} ah, it sounds like a wonderful life. i am so excited to visit.

  the other thing he told me is that i am the coolest girl ever because i can say "yeah, so jason and i went to the batting cages..." without batting an eyelash. ha. i mentioned this to carter, who agreed that i get a lot of bonus points for being sports-literate. funny that i get bonus points for something i would do anyway. :) too bad that i still wasn't batting very well though...

  overall it was a really good weekend though. and last night i ran 3 miles in 29:55. YEAH!! under 10:00 pace!!

  (10:52 a.m.)

  someone got shot last night in the ghetto apartment complex next door to my nice apartment complex, and this morning i found the news briefing online that fleshed out the details:

  Man shot in apartment robbery remains critical

  A Webster man was shot at home Sunday in what police said was a narcotics-related robbery.

  The 23-year-old victim was shot once in the jaw about 5:30 p.m. in a back room of his apartment in the 1100 block of Camino Village. He was taken by Life Flight helicopter to Memorial Hermann Hospital in critical condition, Webster police said.

  The suspects, identified only as four men and a woman, were invited into the apartment by the victim. They were still at large later Sunday, Webster police said.

  now, i knew the complex next door was sketchy, but this makes me a bit uneasy.

  File under: Diaryland Import
  ¶ 11.25.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, November 24, 2002

  laws of sarah physics

  yesterday's attempt at being clever on our group website:

  "there are days and weekends when sitting at home becomes a self-reinforcing thing for me. i didn't do anything last night, and i haven't done anything today, and though i have plans tonight, i am fighting the urge to just not go. (though i am definitely going, because it will be fun, we are going to see cabaret at the galveston opera house!) but the longer i stay home enjoying the solitude of my apartment, reading, napping, lying on my couch...the harder it is to leave the apartment. a sarah at rest wants to stay at rest."

  and then today i added:

  "sure, a sarah in motion also tends to stay in motion. last night after i managed to get up and leave my apartment, i was out until 4 a.m. at which point i couldn't function anymore, so i came home. this afternoon, jason and i went to the batting cages (i was inspired by my dismal performance at softball last week) and i kept hitting and hitting until the crappy bat started tearing into my hand and i was forced to quit.

  though i think that stopping a sarah in motion is probably easier than starting a sarah at rest."

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  Saturday, November 23, 2002

  confused

  my reactions make no sense.

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  Friday, November 22, 2002

  new release

  i've had it for less than 24 hours, and i'm already in love with the new matchbox twenty album. happy sigh.

  (10:46 a.m.)

  senator bob smith (from new hampshire, i'll let you guess which party): "I believe whoever controls space will control peace here on earth." also, "If we are to preserve our current space advantage, then we must protect our space systems from any attack and deny our adversaries that same use of space." also, "Control of space is more than a new mission to consider funding, it is our moral legacy. Moving into space is our next manifest destiny."

  OH. MY. GOD. yes, he actually used the term "manifest destiny." here i was starting to be excited because a senator actually managed to discuss the space program, only to find that he just wants to use it as a strategic position. for the love of god, why why why is the u.s. still focused on conquering space, instead of exploring it??

  (2:56 p.m.)

  today makes it official: i have now been in houston for longer than ever before. my first co-op tour in '97 lasted 4 months, from mid-august to mid-december. since today is november 22 and i started work full-time on july 22, i've now been here longer than at any other single time.

  yes, i keep track of things like this.

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  ¶ 11.22.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, November 21, 2002

  ah, to be a kid with video games

  becca got laughed at by a third grader this morning for saying her favorite ninento game was "legend of zelda," and now i have a fear of being proven nintendo-ignorant by diego (the boy i am tutoring) when i see him next time.

  anyway.

  if a person never wakes up excited to go to work, is that truly a sign that their job isn't right for them? if a person has "the job they've always dreamed of" and yet they still feel as if something is missing, what is the appropriate course of action? is it possible that a person could do their best work when they have too much to do, and do crappy work when they don't have enough to do? what does it mean if a person is happy with the unexpected things in their life but not totally happy with the thing they did expect?

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  Wednesday, November 20, 2002

  i hate the charlotte airport and their unreasonable ticket prices

  i'm in a foul mood this morning. why? too many reasons.

  on monday i tried to buy a plane ticket home. the combination of website interacting with bank didn't work as it should have, and aforementioned website ended up putting 5 temporary authorizations on my account (effectively overdrafting my account and leaving me with $0.00 available balance for 24 hours while they fixed their mistake). while i was waiting for the bank to correct things, the price of the plane tickets rose. and i think it's absolutely freaking absurd that i can't fly from houston to charlotte at a reasonable time of day for less than $300. GRRR!

  i want to leave houston and fly to charlotte on december 20, but i need to work at least half a day that day, so i can't leave earlier than, say, 1:00 (it would really depend on which houston airport the ticket is out of). and i want to fly back to houston on december 29, anytime. if anyone is bored and needs something to do, and can find me a plane ticket that fits those requirements for under $300, please let me know and i'll love you forever. sheesh. i can fly to fricking atlanta those days for $208, but another 200 miles is another $100 at least. i can fly to sao paolo, brazil this weekend for $308, but i can't fly to charlotte. i hate the airline industry.

  so that's one reason for my foul mood. two, we had a softball double header last night, and we won one and lost one, and i played like crap. i was embarassed for myself about the way i played. i sucked. royally. i couldn't catch. i couldn't hit. the only thing i could do successfully was keep score. i sucked.

  three, i'm tired.

  four, somehow i ran my 3 miles really slowly this morning, even though i was feeling good and my shins were hurting less than they have been. i want to get faster, and it's just not happening. i think i must be doing something wrong.

  the only thing i have going for me is that i did well on the impromptu geography quizzes my group did after reading in a cnn article that 87% of 18-24 year old americans can't point out iraq on a map, and 70% can't even point out new jersey. on our quiz, i correctly identified 1) all 50 states, 2) all of western europe and about half of eastern europe, 3) more than half of a map that covered from syria to papua new guinea and southern russia to northern australia 4) about half of south and central america. actually, we all did pretty well...though we will be teasing becca for a while about not knowing her midwestern states. ;)

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  ¶ 11.20.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, November 19, 2002

  qualifying

  1) i coulda been a contender. i heard from aaron today. he, mike, steve, and bree all passed their quals at stanford. in my other life, i would have been there trying to make the group five-for-five. i feel a little weird about that. a little pang of regret. just a little pang, but it's there.

  2) the sky is falling. i got up at 3:30 a.m. this morning and met up with a bunch of people to go watch the leonids. we drove about 5 miles west to get away from the bigger, brighter lights of clear lake and stopped by the side of a road. there were clouds on the horizon and the moon was too darn bright, but we still saw enough bright meteors to make the early morning wake-up time worthwhile. around 5:15 a.m. when the shower was really slowing down, 8 of us headed to breakfast at waffle house. buzz had never been to a waffle before...what a poor, neglected child! she loved it. ;)

  3) and 12 times 9 is... i went to stewart elementary over in kemah today to start tutoring. i'll be working with diego, a 9-year-old 4th grader, for the rest of the school year, every tuesday morning. today we worked on a multiplication word problem worksheet his teacher had given him, and he did an excellent job. he did, however, make the mistake of telling me that what he really has trouble with are his twelves, so when he finished his worksheet and we still had 15 minutes left, i helped him solve 12x5, 12x8, 12x3, etc. he was getting the hang of it at the end, i think.

  tutoring was fun; i'm looking forward to continuing the rest of the year. every time i interact with kids, i remember why my mom loves teaching so much, even with all the crap she has to put up with. there's something immensely rewarding about teaching a kid.

  4) the shuttle as a black hole. becca saw this cartoon in the economist this morning. sad, but true. for the accompanying article, click here. it is a very turbulent time at nasa right now, as the agency tries to figure out what their (our) direction should be. as an employee, it raises my hopes...but also makes me nervous. and frustrated. i could say a lot more, but i won't.

  

  5) the little digital shutterbug... i almost forgot. i posted new pictures the other day. six flags, halloween, and camping.

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  Monday, November 18, 2002

  the sky is falling, the sky is falling

  for the curious ones, here is a picture that encapsulates what we do here in my group. that's right, we run simulations and calculations in an attempt to prevent, or at least predict, this happening to your car (or your house, or your friend's house, or your head):

  

  yep. predicting when and where the sky is going to fall. that's what we do.

  of course, with becca around, i know that i'm safe. if it's gonna hit anyone in our group, it'll be becca. she's the unluckiest person alive. :)

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  ¶ 11.18.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, November 16, 2002

  things i love

  i love playing soccer, even when we lose. running hard, feeling my lungs burn as i try to beat my opponent to the ball. it makes me feel powerful; it makes me feel strong.

  i love afternoons with my friends, shopping for winter clothes, singing in the middle of the store, both followed by ice cream or smoothies.

  most of all, i love lazy saturday nights. the ones where i tell everyone else that i need a night to myself. the ones where i come home and drink my wine and listen to my music and close my eyes...and i can just be me.

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  ¶ 11.16.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, November 15, 2002

  siesta

  "I don't know if we'd be better off
  Living our own separate lives
  Talking every once or twice
  Whenever we need each other."
  - ari hest, everything seems wrong

  last night was nice. dinner and conversation with a good friend. a movie (as i got back into my car at 11:30, two minivans next to me opened their doors and children came tumbling out for the 12:01 showing of harry potter). and a delicious late-night phone call.

  i went to bed late with intentions to get up a 6 and go running. i set the alarm but forgot to turn it on. i woke up at 9:00 with sun streaming through the blinds. sigh.

  i feel like i need a break from diaryland, as my entries are becoming fairly dull. updates may be sporadic (or shorter, at the very least) for a while. sorry.

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  ¶ 11.15.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, November 14, 2002

  part 2

  november 14, part 2. i didn't like looking at this morning's entry when i loaded my page, so i am updating with this to make something new appear. hooray.

  File under: Diaryland Import
  ¶ 11.14.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, November 14, 2002

  worst entry ever

  last night i fell into a typical sarah post-phone call mood. i think it's probably not worth trying to talk to me when i'm in one of those moods, as carter likely discovered last night.

  i called nick and was so happy to talk to him, but then i inevitably had to hang up. i always have to hang up, of course, it's a fact of life and telephone bills. but i don't ever like to hang up the phone with anyone i'm talking to who is far away, whether it be atlanta or france. so i hang up, and i'm so profoundly sad that nick's not here, that i can't wake up tomorrow morning, drive to work, and give him a hug.

  sometimes i don't understand why life has to work the way it does, why we meet people who come to mean so much, and then we lose them to time, and more often just to distance. there's always the idea of "the one that got away"...but i think the idea applies to more than an ex or some person you lusted after. if i have one that "got away," i have fifty. it makes me a little bit sad, but moreso, it just makes me wonder. what brings people together? and what makes them go their separate ways despite the relationship that has grown to mean so much?

  yeah. it's one of those days.

  it was a weird evening overall. after work i headed out to gilruth to join debbie and jason in stuffing backpacks for underprivileged kids at local schools. that was fun, and they fed us--always a good thing. then i walked over to the softball fields to watch just a few minutes of the jetsons game, but ended up freezing my butt off for an hour and a half after chris left to get his car and i had to keep score for the team. it was cold!! yeah, yeah, it was fun though. but then i lost my earring. dammit.

  then i came home and called nick, then talked to carter and probably confused him with my mood for a little while, then attempted to watch dawson's creek that i had supposedly taped only i discovered that my vcr sucks. actually, i think my vcr is fine, i just have trouble figuring out how to set everything up now that i have digital cable and the channels all come through a box. you'd think it wouldn't be that complicated, and it's probably not...but i am dumb. finally i climbed into bed and just read for a while.

  this entry sucks. i'm going to class.

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  ¶ 11.14.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, November 13, 2002

  more class, yep, more class

  so i totally forgot that today and tomorrow i will be in yet another class (not technically training, just a generic "understanding space" class). though i really shouldn't complain, because i do enjoy the way classes shake up my work schedule. nothing is worse than sitting at my desk all day, every day for weeks.

  we finally played softball again last night after three straight weeks of being rained out. because of the way the schedule worked out with all the rainouts, we actually ended up playing the same team we played a month ago. unfortunately we lost this time (we won last time) by a score of 9-6. i played right field again and only one ball came my way. probably a good thing, since i'm not so good at judging fly balls. ;) but on offense...nick, our team "manager", had moved me from 10th in the order to 4th! this was very cool. since we play co-ed and have to bat in boy-girl-boy-girl order, being moved from the 5th girl in the lineup to the 2nd girl in the lineup made me feel really good. i hit well too--i went 2-for-4. no rbis, unfortunately. and in my last at-bat, in the last inning of the game, with 2 outs and us down by 3...i hit a line drive to the shortstop to end the game. :( it was such a solid hit, it just went right to him. dang it. oh well.

  i dragged myself out of bed for fitness class this morning and ran 3 miles at a slow pace--33 or 34 minutes overall. {sigh} after not running regularly from june through september, it is really taking me a while to get back into it. i'm still not past the point where running stops becoming a chore and becomes something i want to do, but hey, it happened once back in march, so i have faith that it will happen again if i can just keep going.

  well. back to class.

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  ¶ 11.13.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, November 12, 2002

  the best weekend

  ahh, i had the best weekend i've had in a long while. it was so disappointing to wake up this morning and feel the cool breeze coming through my window and know that i had to get up and go to work. ugh. :)

  friday: nine of us met at debbie's apartment and headed up to buca di beppo, a family-style italian restaurant, for dinner. we had soooo much food, but it was all really good, and we all left very stuffed. the restaurant was decorated in a funky way, with random pictures all over the walls and even a table with a bust of the pope on it--the "pope's head table." and there was a table in the kitchen too. weird! the funniest part was when debbie and i went to the bathroom, and discovered vintage signs all over the walls proclaiming the benefits of a certain kind of lipstick, and telling a lady where she should keep her hands while on a date (that one was crude but very funny). yum.

  after dinner, the group split up, and nacho, jason, debbie, rick and i ended up coming back to clear lake and going to the bowling alley for rock 'n bowl from 11 to 2 a.m. rock 'n bowl is where they turn off the lights, turn on black lights, and play really loud music while you bowl. it was fun, and i learned two things in succession. one, i can bowl better with my left hand than my right, which is very strange because i'm right-handed, and two, for years and years i have been bowling the wrong way. yeah, so when i fixed the way i released the ball i did much better, and my right hand once again became superior to my left. yeah, i felt pretty stupid after that. ;)

  saturday: i got up at 9 and headed to the soccer fields for our 10:15 game. though we lost again (sigh), we played well i thought. i got to play stopper this time instead of just defensive wing, and i really enjoyed that and make a couple good stops. there were a few bad calls by the ref that didn't go our way or we might have won. maybe next week...

  after soccer i came home and quickly showered before heading to pe-te's for buzz's d.phil. celebration lunch. i thoroughly enjoyed my cajun bbq and beans and rice, and then after hanging out for a while i finally got on the road to garner state park around 3:30. it was about a 300 mile drive (about an hour west of san antonio), and so i finally got to the campground just after 8:00. of course it was already dark, so i just joined gavin, jen, lauren and melissa around the campfire for a few hours before setting up my borrowed tent and falling asleep.

  sunday: i woke up around 9:30 when my tent suddenly became an oven as the sun rose above the trees. gavin and jen were already up, and lauren and melissa followed shortly. after breakfast and some relaxation, lauren and melissa left (they had other plans), and gavin, jen, their dogs and i drove about 30 miles to lost maples state park and hiked a 5-mile trail up and down a hill and through a lot of maple trees that were just starting to change colors. in a couple weeks i bet the colors will be fabulous, but they were pretty good as they were. the dogs enjoyed the hike and were completely worn out by the time we got back to the car. we got back to the campground about 5:00 and got a fire started before the sun went down completely. i wandered down to the river for a little while and when i came back, gavin and jen were getting out the hot dogs to roast in the fire. mmm. i'm firmly convinced that there are only two places where hot dogs really are the perfect food--at a baseball game, and while camping. later on, we star-gazed and made s'mores and finally headed to bed.

  monday: i woke up again when my tent started to swelter, and soon remarked to gavin that "it's 9:30 in the morning, we're sitting here enjoying the day, and we're getting paid to do it!" he laughed. we definitely took advantage of our paid veteran's day holiday. :) anyway, we packed up our tents and i left the campground around 10:30 and arrived back at my apartment about 10 minutes after 3:00. after a quick shower and unpacking, i met betsy, buzz, katie, and stephanie at betsy's apartment and headed downtown for our girl's night out.

  it wasn't meant to be girls only specifically, but it ended up that way. we had dinner at this fabulous cuban restaurant near the theater district, and then walked the three blocks to jones hall to hear maya angelou speak as part of a "unique lives and experiences" series. it was cool. though i have to admit that her topic was merely a typical maya angelou subject--about how all people are "composers" and how you never know whose life you might touch--i could listen to her speak all night. her voice was just so calm and soothing. and i loved the way she'd crack herself up from time to time--telling a story and just start laughing. it was a really enjoyable evening.

  tuesday: and now my glorious 3-day weekend is over and i'm back at work. :( softball tonight for the first time in a month, because it's amazingly not raining!

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  ¶ 11.12.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, November 09, 2002

  alex's weird dream

  a parting shot before i head out of town for the weekend. i got this email from alex; the "you both" in the first sentence refers to myself and leila. here it is:

      "I had a really weird dream last night in which you both had prominent roles.

  I was having a barbeque here at the house when an asteroid crashed into my back yard. Upon closer investigation, i discovered that it was not an asteroid but instead the Mir space station which had somehow been shrunken to 1/100th scale and you and Sarah were the only inhabitants. Naturally, you were both also shrunken. At that time, you related to me the story of how there was a space war between Russia and the US and that you guys were top secret double agents who had infiltrated the ruskie space program. when the russians found out, they got pissed off and shrunk you and then decided to crash the Mir out of spite.

  all the attendees at the barbeque were very fascinated by this whole story, except for Iffy and Brian McGinnis, who weren't paying any attention because they were too busy gambling on how long they could stand on their heads.

  at this point, the gambling thing inspired me. I realized that I could make a lot of money by hiding you in casinos in las vegas to spy on other peoples cards for me. we really kicked some ass, and then I used my winnings to buy an AMC gremlin with a really bad ass set of aluminum rims and a sound system with an 8 track tape player.

  then I woke up.

  Weird, eh? I never did learn who won the war..."

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  ¶ 11.09.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, November 08, 2002

  i wanna be a doctor

  so here's my dramatic announcement for today...ready?

  i think i do want a ph.d. (and after seeing buzz's presentation on the research she did for her d.phil, which she presented it to our division today, i want to be a rhodes scholar too, hee hee.)

  no, but seriously. i will admit that today's enthusiasm is likely due to buzz's presentation and jeremy's intern pitch dry run this afternoon where he talked about his master's and soon-to-be ph.d. research. and also the fact that the research sounded really cool, and i began to picture myself doing some really cool experiment and tinkering around with hardware. and also the fact that i realized that the reason steve and i had such trouble finding information on hybrid rocket injectors back in the spring when we were doing our guided research could be because there simply hasn't been enough research in the area, and that i could do something about that. wow...

  and despite carter saying he would never want to do a ph.d. after watching his dad do one, and despite buzz saying the 6 months she spent actually writing her thesis were the worst months of her life... i dunno. a ph.d. is still something i would like to do for myself.

  we'll see. that is all i can say at the moment i suppose.

  last night was nice. after my run and shower, i went over to becca's and watched friends and will & grace while she cooked dinner for me. ;) her mom sent her a new recipe book and she has been wanting to try things out, but wanted a guinea pig. i was happy to oblige--hey, free dinner is always good. last night she made roasted vegetables and then pasta with an artichoke and tomato sauce. it was good. a little heavy on the olive oil perhaps, but good.

  random thought: yesterday i saw a tv commercial for spam. ewwwww.

  i have fun weekend plans in order. tonight i'm going out with a bunch of people to buca di beppo's, a family style italian place. yummy. tomorrow is a soccer game and then lunch at pe-te's in celebration of buzz's official crowning as a doctor of philosophy. she's graduating in absentia at 1:00 oxford time, 7:00 a.m. houston time, so by the time we take the field for soccer at 10:15 she'll have been a doctor for 3 whole hours. :) then after lunch i'm heading west of san antonio to join gavin, jen, and gavin's sister and her friend for two nights of camping at garner state park (and the weather is supposed to be gorgeous!). yep that's right folks, saturday and sunday nights camping, because monday is veteran's day and another lovely paid holiday for civil servants like myself. woohoo! and monday night i'm heading downtown to hear maya angelou speak. so it'll be a full, fun weekend.

  i probably won't update again until monday. :)

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  Thursday, November 07, 2002

  love those crisp fall days

  yeah, late update today. i graduated from training academy, came home, went running. whee.

  becca did the name game thing that i posted here yesterday. she said she had some issues with hers, but that mind was "right on." i wonder if she realizes that it is just some formula that spits out sentences based on the letters in your name, and therefore cannot be taken at all seriously. i will have to tease her about it. ;)

  so i think that with november having arrived and all, summer is officially over in houston. on halloween, debbie and jason and i noticed that it was chilly outside for the first time, really, and it has stayed that way for a week now. it's actually really lovely outside now that it has stopped raining (knock on wood). the sun is bright, the sky is blue, there is a bit of a breeze, and the temperature is ideal--about 70 degrees. the odd thing is that it seems colder than that in my apartment. my hands and feet are always numb; my extremities are always cold it seems. but i don't want to turn the heat on yet. so i just sit on my feet, and keep my hands busy typing or cooking or reading.

  i realized today that i've reached some sort of turning point in my running. in the past, when i ran it felt as if my legs could go on forever and ever, and my reason for stopping was always that i was gasping for breath. it was like i couldn't get enough oxygen. these days, the situation has reversed. my cardiovascular system and overall endurance has improved to where i feel like i could run for days at a smooth 11:00/mile pace (slow, i know, but still)...but now my legs hurt. i rarely can run without having pain in my shins. love those shin splints. ugh! usually i can run through them and once i get warmed up the pain subsides to a dull ache, but yesterday they hurt enough that i had to stop running.

  grr.

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  Wednesday, November 06, 2002

  and that would be a "bad day"

  sometimes it hits me. this all still rings of a long co-op tour...complete with annoying head cold. {sigh} i just want to sleep all day. instead, i have more training academy. and speaking of that...

  so after 6 weeks of training academy, i have decided on my most favorite nasa phrase, and it is...drumroll please..."that would be a bad day."

  now, modifiers such as "very," "really," "extremely," and "pretty" can be added to emphasis the bad-ness of the day and change the phrase slightly, but its overall meaning is a constant. and what does this phrase mean? well, you hear it every time someone is forced to consider something, well...bad.

  a fuel cell fails? "pretty bad day." you have to do an emergency eva to close the payload bay doors? "really bad day." we have to abort to spain? "very bad day." all 3 main engines shut down at srb ignition and the aerodynamic forces tear the shuttle stack apart, resulting in a catastrophic event including loss of vehicle and crew? "extremely bad day."

  the thing i love is the way that, in typical government style (reserved and calm to a fault), everything that can possibly go wrong is covered under the umbrella of "bad day." this amuses me to no end. i will now begin to use this phrase everywhere i possibly can. i love it.

  i voted yesterday, and unlike becca's scantron experience in galveston county, my voting experience in harris country rocked. it's the first time i've ever actually voted in person (after the absentee ballots of college), and they had these really cool little computer machines with a scrolling wheel and buttons. and then when you were done you pressed the "cast ballot" button, and a picture of a waving american flag popped up on screen. it was fun. all 3 major candidates (governor, u.s. senate, u.s. house) that i voted for won. yay for my vote.

  and if my words aren't enough, take what iffy had on his away message yesterday: "Democracy is cool. If you take your "I voted" sticker to Krispy Kreme, you get a free doughnut. Of course, I ganked my sticker. Boo-ya."

  (11:18 a.m.)

  hmm.

  sarah:Status is important to you and your ability to achieve success and earn money. You have a need to be noticed and seek status. You have much enthusiasm with a driving attitude toward achievement in life. You enjoy a challenge. You can take thought-directed actions. You have a need to be up front. You work hard to achieve material success through your own efforts.

  royston:You enjoy a challenge. You can take thought-directed actions. You have a great deal of loyalty to those you love. You have much inner strength. Your independence and freedom are important to you. You have a need to earn money to prove your success to society and must learn the true value of material gains and status. Your privacy is important to you. You have a rich inner life. You need to learn flexibility. You can handle details well. You have a methodical mind.

  graybeal:You strive for perfection and worry when things don't turn out just so. You enjoy doing a job well. You tend to procrastinate. You have a lack of confidence in your mental abilities and do not like being forced into giving your opinion. You have a need to be up front. You must learn to give the same freedom to others that they want for themselves. You are a constructive thinker. You have a need for monetary security. You can be quite inventive and quite curious. You have a diplomatic flair to your nature. Equality and fairness are important to you.

  File under: Diaryland Import
  ¶ 11.06.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, November 05, 2002

  i love debbie and her free stuff

  i've decided that debbie is a good friend to have, seeing as how she's always coming up with free stuff. ;) yesterday she asked if i wanted to go to the movies on a two-person free pass she got at the same time as the free passes to six flags that we used last week. (they gave her a free movie pass because she had to wait for the six flags passes--sheesh.) anyway. we headed to the cinemark with intentions to go see "i spy" but they wouldn't let us use a pass for that. hmph. so we decided to get tickets for "tuck everlasting," because the free pass was only good on november 4 and it seemed a shame not to use two free movies. but when we got inside the theater and realized that no one even checks tickets on a random monday night, we headed into the theater for "i spy" and watched it. mwa ha ha.

  you know, i've talked about doing that many times--buying a ticket for one movie but seeing another, in an attempt to get around a sold-out screening, or (before i was 17) to get into an r-rated movie--but had never actually done it. yes, debbie and i are such rebels. oooh. watch out world.

  anyway. that was pretty much my entire evening. i came home, read a few more chapters of my current book ("the climb" by anatoli boukreev, it's another account of the may 1996 everest expeditions, a different point of view from krakauer's "into thin air" that i just finished reading), went to bed.

  more training today, and not just reading and computer stuff so i don't get to relax at home while doing it. :( ah well. softball is cancelled again due to rain, and tonight i'll actually have to study a bit to prepare for the shuttle test tomorrow. training is almost over!

  File under: Diaryland Import
  ¶ 11.05.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, November 04, 2002

  cold, cold, go away, come again some other day

  so i have four more days of training academy. this morning, however, the only things on the schedule were reading a couple sections in the scom (shuttle crew operations manual) and doing a cbt (computer based training) lesson. since those don't require my physical presence in the building, i've elected to stay home and do my reading here. i can't do the cbt from here because i can't get to the internal network, but i'll just do it later this afternoon. it's sort of a nice feeling to be home on a monday morning, so i'm full taking advantage.

  i slept until 9:00, skipping fitness class, in an attempt to fend off the cold that is trying to invade my head. i seem to get colds about four times a year; basically, every time the season changes. summer to fall is the worst, because it's usually such a sudden change. hot one day, cold the next. in the past, i've had little hope of escaping these inevitable colds because i've been in school, and have never been getting enough sleep. here, however, i have hopes of preventing it. for five days now i've been feeling slightly achy and run-down, but it hasn't developed into the full-blown stuffy nose yet. yesterday i woke up with a bad sore throat, so i took it easy and slept 9 hours last night. today my throat still hurts, but my nose is still free of snot and that's a good thing. i think another extensive night of sleep tonight is in order.

  anyway. just in case you all cared about my health.

  as i said, i didn't do anything yesterday. not a thing. i had been planning on cleaning, but i didn't. i am such a procrastinator when it comes to cleaning my apartment; i'm always saying i'm going to clean, and rarely actually cleaning. and i do little bits at a time, so it seems like there is always something else that needs to be done, and by the time i finish the rounds, the first thing needs to be cleaned again. woe is me, it's an endless cycle. ah well. that's life. or rather, that's me.

  i can't believe it's november already.

  File under: Diaryland Import
  ¶ 11.04.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, November 03, 2002

  one for sorrow, two for joy

  it has been a counting crows sort of weekend. i can't explain it, but there are some days and times when i find myself skipping through my mixed cds in the car, searching for a counting crows song. any song, as long as its them. no other music (with the possible exception of james taylor) feels quite right. something to do with calming me down, i think, during the times when i need to be calmed.

  this weekend has been like that.

  every time i open the mailbox and see something from france, i break into a grin, and today's envelope made me laugh out loud. inside the envelope was a postcard of aix-en-provence and...an ikea catalog in french. {happy sigh} i miss nick so much. january is too far away.

  the haunted houston tour we took last night made for a fun evening. matt, gavin, jen, becca, debbie and i headed downtown and met up with a bunch of other people to tour "the most haunted sites in houston." we began at a building that is currently a spaghetti warehouse restaurant, but used to be a factory and then the home of an apothecary. from there we went to houston's first cemetary where many of the soldiers from the battle of san jacinto are buried, then to a haunted bar, and finally to the jefferson davis hospital, which has been abandoned since the 1920s or something. now, this building would be creepy enough without someone telling you that there were 10,000 bodies buried under the ground.

  all in all the tour was fun, if cheesy.

  (6:38 p.m.)

  do you ever feel like people can read your mind? three things:

  one, as i was in the middle of writing the paragraph about nick and france, my phone rang and my first thought was "i wonder if that's nick," despite the fact that it was almost too late for him to be calling (almost 1 a.m. his time). and it was nick. he got back from his weekend in paris and was stretching before going to bed. it was great to hear his voice, and by mutual decision we are now starting a countdown of the days until i go to france. 75 days.

  two, as soon as i got off the phone and posted the above update, i read something carter wrote about how he feels that counting crows soothe his soul.

  three, lately i have been having an unusual amount of really vivid dreams. last night i had two, one that was really more of a nightmare than a dream. after the other weird things today, it made me feel the need to call the person who showed up in the nightmare, and make sure they're ok.

  File under: Diaryland Import
  ¶ 11.03.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, November 02, 2002

  blah blah blah

  another soccer game this morning, another loss. but we're getting better. the score was 2-1, and we took more shots on goal than they did...it's just that more of theirs went in. i started out very sluggishly, but i think i played ok. i had a couple good stops and crosses.

  halloween was a lot of fun. debbie and i greeted about a half dozen trick-or-treaters at her apartment, and when cari finally arrived we headed over to gavin and jen's for a few hours. they'd decorated their house really well, and they even had foggy punch (via dry ice). about 9:00, we left their place and headed to chip and jeremy's apartment where there were people from wall to wall, so many that it was hard to move around. but it was great to see everyone, including some people i hadn't seen since i'd gotten back to houston in the first place. there were two other girls dressed as devils (sara and deidra), and we outnumbered the two angels (cari and barbara) so we terrorized the place. mwa ha ha. it was a good time, even though i was soooo tired yesterday during training. i almost fell asleep, but buzz poked me. ;)

  anyway. tonight we are going on a haunted tour of houston. something matt, one of the guys in my group at work, set up.

  File under: Diaryland Import
  ¶ 11.02.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, November 01, 2002

  and this is my whole issue with online journals

  ok, maybe i'll write more later when i have more time, but apparently i need to make an update to clarify what i was saying yesterday about friends in houston, comments that were spawned after reading becca's daily update.

  becca and i are not engaged in some sort of crazy war to see who can be more popular, or have more friends. becca and i are both big enough and mature enough people to be past that phase. and as a note to all the members of becca's family who read this, trust me, she's not unhappy. if you don't believe her, maybe you can believe me. {sigh} she was just talking about how she's making some really good friends here, which in turn made me think about my friends here. and that of course reminded me of how lucky i was to be able to get a full-time job in a place where i already had many friends. simple, normal train of thought, nothing to get up in arms about. geez people, can we talk about overreacting? i'm not trying to insult anyone here.

  one of the most frustrating parts of keeping a daily journal is having to hear misinterpretations of things i write.

  File under: Diaryland Import
  ¶ 11.01.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, October 31, 2002

  halloween fun

   happy halloween!!

  i'm already wearing my devil horns, much to the amusement of the russian woman who taught our morning class on cross-cultural communication. tonight i'm headed to not one but two halloween parties. fun fun.

  got to get back to training, more later perhaps.

  (1:49 p.m.)

  ohhh, this afternoon is going slowly. i fear i am coming down with a cold. eek.

  becca was talking today about how she is slowly accumulating a group of 5-10 close friends in houston. that's funny to me. the thing i like about houston and having co-oped here is that when i took a full-time job, i already had something like 30 close friends. there is always someone around if i want to see a movie, get coffee, hang out, learn something new. and yet knowing that there are always people here, i also feel less pressure to subject myself to the whims of others. i take more time for me, and the time with my friends becomes more meaningful, and i am all-around happy. life is good.

  also, i just found out that becca and i were volunteered by our mentor to plan the dm4 christmas party. this should be interesting.

  there was something else i was going to say, but i've forgotten. oh! the high school college fair! chrissy and i spent two hours at clear brook high school last night talking to kids from all over the clear creek school district and answering their questions about georgia tech. i had such a good time! i love sharing my thoughts about georgia tech and telling others how much i loved it there, and i also like that i'm helping someone get the information they need to make an important decision. it's a good feeling, being able to represent the school that gave me so many college memories.

  talking to the kids, and then to chrissy on our way home, made me miss being in college. i miss the freedom, and the diversity, and the fun. and the environment, and always meeting new people. yeah. the people.

  File under: Diaryland Import
  ¶ 10.31.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, October 30, 2002

  meteors, plane tickets and boot camp, oh my!

  things for today:

  1) it would appear on your insurance form as an "act of god." i saw a meteor last night!! not just any old shooting star, but a big meteor (or perhaps a piece of space debris, to make it directly applicable to my work). i was driving home at 5:45 and was stopped at a stoplight just staring out the window towards the northwest (where the sun was going down) when i saw a flash, a green streak of light, and a lingering smoky trail. i gasped and sat there with my mouth open for a moment before i grabbed the phone to call my dad to tell him how cool it was. he always appreciates that kind of stuff. :) it was really bright. the sun was below the horizon but the sky was still a bright orange-ish color, so for me to be able to see the meteor so clearly meant it had to have been something more sizeable than your normal dust clump. very cool.

  2) viva la france! i bought a plane ticket last night. houston to london to marseille, where i will take the bus to aix-en-provence to visit nick! hooray! i got a really good deal on the price (if anybody wants to go to europe within the next few months, buy tickets now because they are incredibly cheap), and i'm going from january 17-26. i can't wait!!

  3) "and this is why georgia tech is the place for you." chrissy im'ed me last night to ask if i want to go with her to a high school career fair tonight over in friendswood to represent georgia tech. of course i did! it should be a lot of fun; i always enjoy talking to prospective students about my school(s) and sharing my opinions on the good parts and--yes--the bad parts too. i was talking to chris last night and told him i was going to this thing, and he laughed and said sarcastically "oh, that's great publicity." i didn't understand why he was being sarcastic, until i figured out that he didn't know that i liked tech. he had the idea (picked up from some other former tech co-ops who are now here full-time) that no tech student has ever liked being there. how sad! i loved tech. this is why i am a good person to go to the career fair, and not my friend phil, for instance, who once referred to tech as a "wasteland" compared to uga as the "land of milk and honey." ;)

  4) "yes drill sargeant sir!" if becca hadn't written in her journal that she skipped fitness class, i wouldn't have suspected a thing. (now that i know, i will harass her about skipping.) i wouldn't have known, because i wasn't there either; instead, i accompanied jason and phil to "boot camp buddy day." boot camp is another program at the rec center that also runs three mornings a week. i've been thinking about doing it but don't think i'm in good enough shape, so i took advantage of buddy day to find out. yeah, um, good lord. we started out with a half mile jog (one lap around the short track), immediately followed by 100 jumping jacks, immediately followed by another half mile, immediately followed by another 100 jumping jacks and some stretches. now, at this point, i was sweating a lot but still feeling pretty good, doing ok, thinking boot camp might be manageable after all.

  then we moved over to the softball fields and did pushups, crunches, leg lifts, more pushups, some sort of arm exercise, more pushups, more crunches. now i'm feeling slightly nauseous (uh oh), and also have serious doubts about whether my arms still work. (turns out that they do, lucky for me.) we walk back over to the asphalt lot and do squats down to the end of the lot. ugh. i'm really hurting now. then we do leapfrog back across the lot. and oh dear, i'm feeling like i'm going to throw up.

  yeah. so i sat out the last exercise, which was a relay race of sorts where everybody hopscotched, leaped, side-stepped, and gorilla-walked down the lot and back. and i felt like such a wuss. {sigh} so my boot camp buddy day was less than ideal, but at least now i have a new goal for fitness class: to get in good enough shape to survive boot camp!!

  File under: Diaryland Import
  ¶ 10.30.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, October 29, 2002

  here comes the sun

  i could never live in seattle.

  i'm sure it's a lovely city, and i still want to visit someday...but i could never deal with the rain. last night i sat here in my apartment just praying that it would stop raining today, after almost a week and a half of overcast skies, torrential downpours, and on-and-off street flooding. i can't take endless rain. it puts me in a very bad mood; it honestly depresses me. you could probably attribute my happiness during my year in california in large part to the constant great weather. sun = happy sarah, rain = mopey sarah.

  someone heard me, at least, because the sun has finally made an appearance and the sky is beginning to clear. and today i feel much better.

  even training academy was interesting this morning, as i learned all sorts of things about the shuttle electrical, mechanical, and environmental systems that i never knew before.

  we got out of training early yesterday, so i used the opportunity to be home at 4:00 and call nick (who's 7 hours ahead of me) before he went to bed. he's already hitting on his dance instructor. ;) i can't wait to go visit! the tickets are down to $452. incredible. i'm going to buy.

  i want a cat. i just don't know if i want one for 15 years. and i don't know if i want to subject my mom and other friends to allergic reactions. {sigh} christina is probably right; if i have to ask, i probably shouldn't get one.

  File under: Diaryland Import
  ¶ 10.29.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, October 28, 2002

  a halloween conversation

  i'm back in training academy full time this week. this morning we had to suffer through a 20-minute lecture on how to read the schedule (again) and took the space shuttle pre-test. i sucked on the pre-test. mainly because i got all the questions wrong that related to 1) reference manuals, flight rule manuals, etc and 2) the electrical system of the space shuttle. wouldn't you know, i aced the flight design, ascent, entry, and orbital mechanics portions, but missed the circuits and bureaucracy. {sigh}

  so i have a halloween costume now. i'm going to be a devil, and cari's going to be my angelic counterpart. i'll lean over one shoulder encouraging people to be bad, while she leans over the other encouraging them to be good. i also get to carry around contracts so people can sell me their soul. anyway, at dinner last night after our day at six flags fright fest (which really wasn't all that frightening) we had the following conversation:

  me: "so we went to the halloween store this morning before 6 flags..."
  debbie, to jason: "sarah and cari are going to be a devil and an angel!"
  jason: "oh, that's cool."
  me: "yeah, i got a red cape and sequined devil ears, and a pitchfork, and i'm going to make a pointy tail. and cari got wings and a halo."
  cari: "yeah, you know though, i've been thinking...sarah, you get to carry a pitchfork. you have a weapon. how am i supposed to fight you? what do angels carry? i need a weapon."
  me: "angels don't carry anything."
  jason: "yeah."
  debbie: "maybe you could have a magic wand."
  cari: "no, that would be a fairy, not an angel."
  debbie: "enh, you could do it anyway, it could work."
  cari: "how about i have a sword? you know, like the archangel?"
  jason: "you can't have a sword, that's totally not angelic."
  me: "yeah, no swords."
  cari: "but how am i supposed to fight sarah and keep her from poking me with her pitchfork all night??"
  me: "um, you have the power of god, hello."

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.28.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, October 27, 2002

  dreams

  a day, a day. a day of learning how to change my car's oil and filter by myself, of silly imax movies, of darrin's dance grooves and owl cookies.

  i had a dream last night, a dream i don't quite know how to accurately describe in words. it was so incredibly vivid, so real that i awoke with real tears in my eyes to match the ones i had been crying in my dream. and they weren't bad tears; they were just...tears. from the situation my dream ended in.

  it began as a "my best friend's wedding" sort of situation, though i can't say i've had any thoughts of that movie anytime lately. one of my best friends was getting married, to a faceless girl, and i was reacting in my typical way. insecure, clingy, scared to lose the guy. but that's not the image that's been floating in the back of my mind all day. instead, it's the image of what happened just before i woke up in the dark with the quiet tears.

  for some reason, i hadn't seen the guy in years. i hadn't been in touch with him, and i didn't know what had become of him or what he'd done with his life. i was totally clueless, except to know that this man had been a very important person in my past, and that somehow, i'd ended up at the site of his impending wedding terrified that even though we'd been apart for years, this was my last chance and he would be gone forever.

  and i was tugging at his sleeve trying to get him to listen to my desperate words of how he couldn't get married because it would mean we could never be friends again...when i tripped and knocked a piles of paper off a table nearby. i bent down to pick them up, and saw that it was some sort of wedding trinket, a short autobiography of the groom, the guy, the former important person, the one i'd suddenly decided i couldn't live without. i froze, kneeling there on the floor. i read it.

  he had done it. everything. all the things he'd told me he wanted to do, years ago when he was so important and before we'd lost touch. everything. all his dreams, all the things he'd shared years ago. he'd done them all.

  and i just looked at the paper. and then i looked up at him, standing above me. and i just had this incredulous look on my face, mouth open, tears forming in my eyes. and he was looking at me with tears in his eyes as well, and he gave me the kindest, most understanding smile i've ever seen. and suddenly i knew that he would marry this girl that had helped make his dreams come true, and moreso, i knew that that's what i wanted for him, and that it didn't mean that i would lose him again. and that everything would be ok.

  and then i woke up in my dark room under my soft sheets, and let out a long, slow breath.

  it was so vivid.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.27.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, October 25, 2002

  rain rain go away

  my normally calm little bayou (which is directly behind my apartment and comprises a big part of the nice view from my balcony) is becoming a rushing river in all this rain. yesterday on our way downtown, my car had to slog through 6 inches of water on the feeder road. poor little sentra. it's been raining pretty much constantly for the past week now, the only exceptions i can remember being sunday and wednesday afternoons. i'm ready for it to quit already, but it looks like there is no end in sight. more thunderstorms are predicted until tuesday.

  the houston airshow is this weekend; we saw an f-14 landing last night as we drove past ellington. i haven't been since 1997 (the last time i was in houston in october), and was looking forward to going this weekend, but i think the rain will put a damper on things. i suppose all the static displays will be out, but i don't know how much flying they'll do in the rain. i really wanted to see the thunderbirds.

  rich came into my office yesterday afternoon to inform us that there's another hurricane headed towards houston...the catch being that it is currently in the pacific and will cross all of mexico before it reaches us. ;) the west coast of mexico is in trouble though; it's a category 5 storm headed smack for them. and it's quick-moving. the eye is supposed to be over houston at 11:00 tomorrow morning. more rain.

  so we went to the cheesecake factory last night and it was yummy as usual. i got chocolate tuxedo cream cheesecake, the only cheesecake that edgar has ever ranked a 5 on his cheesecake ranking scale. he has a list of all the cheesecakes he has tried in his palm pilot, and tries a new one each time and ranks it. now most people would think that's dorky, but i think it's awesome. anyway. chocolate tuxedo cream was very good.

  phil and jason are supposed to teach me how to change my car's oil filter this weekend. i hope they actually meant it when they said they'd do it. it would be quite a useful skill to have. and my car desperately needs an oil change.

  i finally got my papasan chair yesterday after work. :) i bought it for $25 on the swap shop (a jsc webpage for employees to sell their crap) and had arranged to meet the guy at 5:00 at the wendy's. well, it was raining really hard, and he didn't think it would fit in my car. i maintain that it would have fit, but i didn't argue with him, especially because he volunteered to just drive to my apartment and drop it off. and that was easier than transferring it to my car in the rain! so he brought it over, and i carried it in when i got back from the restaurant last night and it wasn't downpouring. it's great! the cushion is white, and stained on one side (though he did wash it for me; it smelled of laundry detergent), but the other side is ok, and i covered it with a blanket anyway. i may buy a new cushion sometime, but no rush.

  when he dropped it off, he said "wow, this apartment complex is really nice!" hee hee. i love my palmas.

  that's all she wrote.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.25.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, October 24, 2002

  presidents and protestors

  well, i spent this morning at a four-hour spaceflight resource management briefing for training academy. a better name for the class might have been "human factors" though, because what the class actually covers is how 6 crew- and ground support-related elements combine to build a successful and safe mission: 1) command, 2) leadership, 3) communication, 4) workload management, 5) situational awareness and 6) decision making.

  now when i first saw that list, i rolled my eyes and thought "uh oh, i'm about to sit through 4 hours of common sense." i expected it to be so-so at best, but it turned out to be really good actually. the course is an extension of commonly-taught ideas and techniques in both the military and commercial aviation worlds (they call it crew or cockpit resource management). there were lots of good examples given from apollo 13, the u.s.s. greenville accident last year, an airplane crash in 1989, and others. i think the biggest reason that i found the course effective, however, was that it was very well taught. the two instructors were competant and logical, and they did a very good job of encouraging class participation. they even got the europeans to speak up, and they've been pretty much silent the entire time! wow. :) it was a good morning.

  anyway, that is probably not interesting to most of you who read this.

  yesterday turned out to be quite a day here at work. like i already mentioned, it was health and safety day. the division breakfast was yummy, and the 5k went well. (i ran 33:30, my fastest time in houston yet...unfortunately still slower than the races i ran in california, but i'm working on it. i want to run a jingle bell jaunt in december in under 30:00. i think i can do it.)

  the real excitement of the day, however, was that the president of china, jiang zemin, visited the space center as part of his visit to texas. he was in houston yesterday, he's at a&m today, and is meeting with bushie at the ol' ranch tomorrow. anyway, because of his impending visit here, there were a few hundred people, mostly chinese, outside the front gate with signs and flags. half were protesters from a religious group called the falun gong, and the other half were supporters of president jiang. they were all peaceful, but as a result of their presence, the nasa security guards broke out their "serious" uniforms, the ones with army boots on their feet and pistols strapped around their waists. there were unmarked cars at all 4 site entrances, and at the main gate there were probably 12-15 houston police officers as well. pretty cool. we were all abuzz.

  well, tonight we are off to my favorite restaurant--the cheesecake factory!--for chris's belated birthday dinner. yummy.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.24.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, October 23, 2002

  safety man, safety man, does whatever safety can

  last night i was at work until 9:00 learning things i already knew--how to use dvis (voice loops) and dnav (mission control workstations), and how to write chit and anomaly reports. {sigh} everyone is asking why i took those classes, but i figure in the long run, it's probably a good idea to have it on record that i know how to use the mcc applications.

  today, however, there are no training academy classes because...it's safety and health day at jsc. wahoo. actually, it's not so bad. we don't really have to do any work and instead, we do things like have a big division breakfast with pancakes (yum, i'm so full right now) and we have speakers and such, and this afternoon there is a 5k fun run/walk out at the gilruth center. i'm going to do it with a bunch of other friends.

  though the weather is looking ominous... this morning was one of the weirdest i've seen in houston. i was up before dawn for fitness class, and the clouds were (and still are) really low and thick and ominous-looking. the sun began to rise as i drove from gilruth to the main gate and they sky turned a dingy pink color and everything was bathed in this really eerie pink glow. i can't describe it very well with words, but eerie is the best word for it. it was weird. ominous. like something bad was going to happen. "red sky at night, sailors delight; red sky at morning, sailors take warning." there's a flash flood watch in effect all day, and the ground is already thoroughly water-logged from the past 4 days of rain.

  i forgot to mention that yesterday as i was driving onsite, the security guard asked to search my car. i let him, of course. random.

  also, i remembered that last friday night i ended up hanging out with six guys. just me and six guys. and i realized that i really do like the way that i'm often considered to be just "one of the guys." even though it means that i'm hardly ever viewed as a true female (i.e. one with the potential to be more than a friend), i have to say, having the status to get drunk on a friday night with six red-blooded guys, and thus see their true nature emerge, is quite a fun thing.

  jen keeps meeting people at stanford that know me. the guy from west point, i believe, is john, but i'm not sure.

  I MISS STANFORD.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.23.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, October 22, 2002

  stupid people and the media

  i turned on the tv this morning to news of another shooting up in maryland. the absurdity of the situation was made apparent when the today show--what i consider to be one of the more reputable news shows--did a telephone interview with some guy who was "at the scene of the shooting." ok, whatever, i can deal with that. but as they're talking to the guy, he says "i saw the police cruisers and i followed them hoping that they'd caught the sniper, but unfortunately it was another victim."

  wait, rewind.

  "i followed them." as in, this guy, who actually was well-spoken and sounded reasonably intelligent, saw police cruisers with sirens going and decided he'd stoop to the level of those people who slow traffic for miles by gawking at accidents on the side of the road. i hate it when morbid curiosity gets the best of people. it's not that i haven't felt the same pull myself; i'm just sensical enough not to act on it.

  here was the today show, interviewing some guy who'd decided he had nothing better to do than follow police cars and get in their way, and what's more, the today show lady spent 5 minutes letting this completely random and probably unqualified bystander speculate on what he assumed had happened. "well, i think the sniper had to have been in these trees..." yeah. now that's quality reporting, people.

  {sigh} the sniper thing is serious business, and the media is just sensationalizing it. i hate speculation. i'd be happy if they just kept their mouths somewhat shut until they had more solid information. speculation only fuels the mass hysteria.

  anyway. i had a lovely evening last night. first, i got to play interior decorator a little bit, giving carter suggestions on what to do with the furniture in his basement. second, i finally went to the grocery store so i can once again eat. yay. third, chris was bored so he came over and i cooked spicy tomato pasta and peas. hee hee. fourth, i put together the bookcase/shelf i'm using for my darkroom. it's starting to look better and better. fifth, i got to read my book in my comfy bed. ahh.

  softball's been rained out for tonight (the ground is soggy, soggy, soggy), which is actually good for me since i wasn't going to be able to make it anyway. instead, i will be in the control center learning how to use the voice loops and computer applicatons. ugh. i already know how to do all that, as i've been in mission control more times than i can count. however, i need to have it on record that i've taken the class, so i'm going. i guess it won't be that bad. training academy has improved significantly now that we've gotten past the intro stuff that i already knew. i'm currently auditing space station classes that are interesting/applicable. yesterday i went to the medical systems class, which was ok, and the motion control systems class which was excellent--i learned a lot of very useful information in that one. this morning i went to the station modes class that was also good.

  also, there are european space agency people attending the station classes, and they amuse me. they all speak french to each other, but when they speak english to ask a question or something, different accents come out. my guess is that only two of them are actually french, and one is italian, and two others are german.

  la la la.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.22.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, October 21, 2002

  burning tires, ikea madness, and a belated plane ticket

  so it turns out that the fire i saw on saturday night--the one spewing massive amounts of black smoke into the already-filthy houston air--is an enormous tire fire. funny, that's what i predicted it was yesterday when becca and i drove up the highway and could still see it smoking. i couldn't think of anything that would put out that much thick black smoke except 1) oil or 2) tires. and it looked too close to us/too far from the ship channel to be oil. so tires it is. apparently someone abandoned a stolen car and decided to torch it right next to an abandoned 3-acre tire dump. lovely.

  i mean, come on! what, does someone just think "well, i need to get rid of the car, i think i'll torch it. oh, and what better place to torch it than at the front gate of a huge tire dump!" sheesh. idiots. to add to the sketchiness, no one can find the owner of the dump. yes, just another day in houston.

  so yesterday afternoon i got the urge to go to ikea. i loooooooooove ikea!! anyway, i called becca and she came along, so off we went. i was looking for two things:

  • a table for the top of my stairs
  • a suitable table/shelf for use in my little bathroom darkroom

  i came home with:

  • a table for the top of my stairs
  • a bookcase that will work well in the darkroom
  • a wooden cd shelf
  • two colorful ceramic serving bowls
  • a ceramic pitcher
  • two big fuzzy pillows (like susan's!), one red and one blue
  • 3 candles
  • a flower-shaped candle holder
  • a blue-tinted flower vase
  • a bendable wooden man like i always wanted when i was younger and more artistic
  • the 2003 ikea catalog :)

  {happy sigh} i love that place. i must be the only person in the world who could live happily ever after even if confined to shopping only at target and ikea. iiiikkkkeeeeaaaa. i think i should go work for them, designing cool furniture. i would enjoy that immensely. and they would have one very enthusiastic employee.

  so i was looking at my credit card statement online last night and was dismayed to find that my fluke of luck has run out. see, i realized over a month ago that sta travel never charged me for my plane ticket to scotland. wow! that was a $500 charge that magically never appeared! of course i thought it was too good to be true, but when it hadn't appeared when we left to go to scotland, and still hadn't appeard when we came back, and still hadn't appeared when i got my last statement, i figured maybe i was going to get lucky. i decided i'd wait until the end of the year before i wrote the charge out of my budget, and forgot about it. well, unfortunately for me, sta accounting does their job well because on the 16th they finally charged me for the flight. the charge didn't come from sta even, it came from their accounting department. so someone checking over the books found the mistake. ah well. i'll not seriously upset, after all, i do owe them the money. but i wouldn't have minded if they'd forgotten... ;)

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.21.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, October 20, 2002

  fondue party

  last night as i drove back down to clear lake from grace and scott's place, i noticed a bright orange glow on the horizon, and an enormous plume of black smoke that was visible even against the 2 a.m. night sky. something's burning over by the ship channel. just another saturday night in smog city. lovely.

  the bday party for liz was great fun though. i headed up there at 7:00, and next thing i knew it was 2 a.m.--seven hours passed in the blink of an eye! losing track of time is a good sign that i'm having fun. :) we started out with one pot of cheese fondue with bread and fruits, and one pot of oil to cook meat and vegetables in. it was all really yummy; grace and scott, along with their assistants chrissy and james, did a great job preparing everything. (though why do i get the idea it was more grace and chrissy, with the boys watching football? hee hee.) the company was good too. grace and scott, james and chrissy, phil, anisha, liz and i were all back, the same group as last sunday night. and then i met some other cool people--bing, chris, katie, a british guy whose name i can't remember (hugh?), and another woman whose name i can't remember (amanda?). damn my memory!

  anyway, the final new person was this guy named daniel who was very talkative, very gay, and very entertaining. i sat next to him for dinner and ended up talking to him the most. he's from charleston, s.c., he went to rice, now works for equistar, and is a big soccer fan who actually got to go to japan and had two tickets for the world cup final. it's really too bad that he is being transferred to chicago in a month or something, because it seemed like he'd be a fun person to spend time with.

  so fondue was had, cake was served, chocolate fondue was enjoyed by all, and we finally cleared the table for a few hours of playing napoleon.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.20.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, October 19, 2002

  fondue attempt #3

  after a week of beautiful weather and being cooped up inside at work, saturday dawned...cloudy and gray. and by noon, rainy. ugh. how unfortunate that the good weather disappeared for the weekend!

  i was going to take the afternoon to do errands and go to the grocery store, but i just haven't felt like going outside. instead, i took a nice long bath and have been listening to jazz and reading some fluff bestseller that i bought last week. i feel sluggish. i desperately want a coke, but i drank my last one three days ago and as mentioned a second ago, i haven't been to the grocery store since i don't know when. more than two weeks ago, it must be, because i'm low on pretty much everything. no soda, no bread, no milk, no vegetables that aren't in a can. last night i did manage to make a meal from couscous, leftover hamburger, frozen tortelli and the half-jar of tomato sauce i had left.

  tonight i'm heading up to grace's apartment for a bday party for liz. it's a fondue party! i have had two experiences with fondue in my life--once with becca and karen at their apartment at tech the year before i lived with them when the cheese starting burning, and once in switzerland where they used so much wine that the cheese no longer tasted like cheese and instead gave off unappetizing whiffs that smelled like rubbing alcohol. so i'm looking forward to tonight and hoping things will be done right.

  that's about it. yup.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.19.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, October 18, 2002

  hola hola coca cola

  i wanna go back to mexico and hear "hola hola coca cola" and "gato taco" and spend my lunch hour holding hands and singing. yes, it sounds cheesy, but i want to go back.

  anyway. yay for friday, it's been a long week. and yes, i know that it was only four days, but it felt like 14.

  so becca wrote today about how jaded and cynical i am about the space program, and specifically, about astronauts. {sigh} i'm not going to spend more than two paragraphs stating my point of view in rebuttal to hers, so here they are:

  if she still thinks that all astronauts are heroes, then she hasn't 1) met enough of them and 2) witnessed enough shuttle missions from the flight ops perspective (i.e. the actual, non-rose-colored, non-PR side). also, i don't buy that sitting on top of a rocket that has a failure rate of 1:112 makes them heroic (as becca implied in a comment this morning). that's like saying any daredevil is a hero because they're doing something that might kill them, and that's dumb.

  becca didn't actually quote me exactly, so here's my actual quote: "i'm sorry, i'm just not really that impressed with most astronauts anymore." she left out the all-important clarifier--"most." there are some astronauts that are incredible people, and i really respect them. but there are many more that were just in the right place at the right time, and impressed the right person. i'm not saying they're not intelligent or competant or capable of doing what is certainly a difficult job; i'm just saying that it takes more than a job title to earn my respect. it doesn't make me cynical; it makes me realistic and logical. and truthfully, i think the space program is in desperate need of realism and logic.

  last night i went over to chrissy's apartment to watch the tech-maryland game. chrissy cooked pad thai that was great! i was so impressed! i'd try it sometime but i'm sure i'd screw it up somehow. but yum. the game, unfortunately, didn't turn out too well. we played maryland evenly through the first half and were down 6-3 at halftime, but in the second half we just fell apart and ended up losing 34-10. james says our team isn't bad, that we've just had bad luck with injuries and things...but i have to say, i think our team is just not that great. injuries or not. we just don't have a strong team this year. then again, james has enough faith in the team for all of us. ;)

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.18.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, October 17, 2002

  world space congress

  whew! i'm late updating today. becca and rich and i met here this morning at 8 and headed up to the convention center for some fun at the world space congress, this enormous event that's been going on all week.

  from 9:30-1 we sat through 10 technical presentations on orbital debris. the last four were directly applicable to the work we do here in my group, since they referred to re-entering debris modeling and footprint predictions. it was interesting to see the way others do things. the first two were both given by italians; one covered re-entry predictions for the bepposax satellite that will fall out of orbit sometime this coming spring, and the other covered modeling. the third presentation was given by a lockheed employee who works with the orbital debris office here at jsc and covered the software they use to predict which parts of a spacecraft survive re-entry. and the fourth presentation was given by a german who works with the european space agency's re-entry simulation, called scarab. they were all very interesting.

  at 1, the three of us headed over to this dinky mall and had lunch at ninfa's. mmm, enchiladas, yum. after that we headed back to spend an hour and a half wandering the exhibit hall, where all sorts of aerospace companies and foreign space agencies had set up displays. good lord, what a bounty of cool things! it was like the georgia tech career fair on steroids!! i got all sorts of space posters, stickers, clippy things, cd-roms, info booklets, a frisbee, and two lego people i have named svetlana and bob (cause she looks like a russian, he just looks like a normal lego man). and just when i thought i'd found all the cool things, i was walking down an aisle and out of the corner of my eye i spotted...

  ...a swedish flag!! yes!! the swedish space corporation was there! i was sooo excited. yay sweden. they gave me stickers that say "microgravity made in sweden." how cool is that?!?

  anyway, so we just got back to the office 20 minutes ago. it was a fun day. i love my officemates. and now i'm about to head home. i'm going over to chrissy's tonight to watch the tech-maryland game with her and james, so that will be nice.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.17.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, October 16, 2002

  softball glory days

  we had the test for part 1 of training academy this morning. i passed. duh. i missed one question, though i maintain that the computer's answer is wrong. the air data probes are a part of the shuttle's mechanical system, and the body flap is not (it's apu/hydraulics). i will argue with anyone who says otherwise. though i haven't found anyone who says otherwise, no one except the damn computer.

  the only thing that made this really annoying was that this bothersome 50-ish guy named george got 100 (because he didn't get the air data probe/body flap question, because the questions are pulled from a question bank at random) and couldn't stop bragging about it. ugh. and i quote from george: "i just think it's funny that all you guys [he's referring to me and buzz] with your master's and ph.d.'s got your ass kicked by me!" double ugh. never mind that he's 50 and still stuck working in freaking nav. when buzz and i are 50, we'll be running the place and no one will care that george got 36 of 36 while i only got 35 of 36. take THAT george!!

  {sigh} i know i sound absurd, but he irritated me. then again, i'm probably too competitive. it's training academy for god's sake. :)

  on to better things. last night i made my debut as right fielder for the loaded bats, the coed softball team i'm playing on this fall. we won 11-4! i was new to the team, so i got stuck in right field and at the very bottom of the batting order, because of course the manager didn't know what i could do. well boo yeah! i went 2 for 3 with an rbi! YEAH!! i got the rbi when i came up to bat with the bases loaded. :)

  in the field, well, only one ball was hit even remotely in my direction, but i fielded it perfectly. i'm happy that i was able to play really well, since everyone was basically getting their first impression of me, and deciding whether i'd really help the team all that much. i'm so happy i played well and helped the team! i've never really been that athletic, so i'm just feeling really proud of myself.

  we have training academy part 1 "graduation" this afternoon, and i don't really want to go, but i know it would be considered poor form if i don't. because they're having an astronaut coming to talk. ooooooh. never mind that he's not even an active astronaut, and that he's the commander responsible for the biggest screwup by a crew since scott carpenter's mercury mission. yeah, they really care about us training academy folks. gimme a break.

  i'm in a cynical mood today aren't i? hmm.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.16.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, October 15, 2002

  i only need approval from one person, and that's me

  good morning.

  the good news is that i definitely took full advantage of my paid government holiday yesterday, seeing as how i didn't wake up until about 11:30, and i stayed in pajamas all day. yes, my pajamas. i never put on normal clothes, because i never left the apartment. when i took a shower, i got out and just put on another pair of pajamas.

  in other news, i yet again went in search of someone to say "it's ok" after doing something that made me worry what people might think of me. i don't know why i'm always looking for outside approval. how weak of me. the only thing that really matters is what i think.

  and so that's that. having yesterday off has already completely screwed up my sense of timing for this week, so i've given up on any hope of remembering what day it is. (note to me: repeat to self "it's tuesday...tuesday....")

  so it's a california world series. i have to admit, i only watched about 5 minutes of the two league series because i was so disheartened after the braves lost. and during the 5 minutes i did watch they kept on showing these fantastic shots of the golden gate bridge with the fog rolling in, and it only made me miss california. {sigh} anyway, i guess i'm happy for the angels and giants. between the two, i'll root for the giants. they're more "my team" than the angels. though the hilarious rally monkey is a strong argument for the angels...

  anyway. yes. jumbled journal entry today.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.15.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, October 14, 2002

  a quiet sunday night turned wild and crazy and very un-sarah-like

  last night i went with james and chrissy to grace's apartment for dinner and cards. there ended up being eight of us, 7 georgia tech grads and aneesha from rice, who works with liz and grace at equistar. in all, i met three new people--aneesha, scott (grace's husband), and phil. i had been sort of worried about whether it'd be fun since i didn't know them, but i had a really great time! we played a card game called napoleon that was like spades, only better. i'll have to teach my other friends.

  it being a "school night" and all, james and chrissy and i headed back to clear lake early so everyone could get a good night's sleep before work today. but ah! columbus day for me! no work today!

  anyway. philly had called me earlier inviting me out to dinner, but i'd declined due to the dinner and cards plans. but i told him i'd give him a call when i got back, and since it was only 10:30 and i wasn't tired, i did.

  when i got there, i was met by phil, jason, jessica, and ethan...who were already three sheets to the wind. i figured i'd play catch up. and i did. i caught up. much too quickly. four shots of goldschlager in half an hour, and waiter, would you please add goldschlager to the list of things sarah is not allowed to drink anymore? goldschlager and long island iced tea.

  so it was a quiet sunday night that turned wild and crazy and saw me do some very un-sarah-like things.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.14.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, October 13, 2002

  sunday, lazy sunday

  i am sooooo sore from soccer.

  i had to break out my knee brace today for the first time since europe a year and a half ago. ugh. it's swollen. it hurts. poopy.

  i finally cleaned the bathroom. and swept the tile. all that remains now is the dreaded vacuuming. i have so much carpet. geez louise.

  james and chrissy invited me to go play cards with other tech people tonight, so that should be fun. and phil just called inviting me out to dinner. i can't be in both places at once obviously, but i told phil i'd call him when i get back to clear lake. i don't think card playing will go too late, seeing as how everyone else has to work tomorrow. ah, i do love working for the government and getting random government holidays off. like columbus day. :)

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.13.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, October 12, 2002

  doubts

  soccer this morning was exhausting. we only had one girl and one guy sub, and since the sub was much more needed for those playing forward (and i play defense), i played an entire 90 minute game. oh, my aching legs! but i came home and took a long bubble bath and feel much better now, thank you.

  anyway.

  when i moved into my apartment and went on my framing binge, i framed both of my diplomas and hung them up on the wall right above my desk here. their placement makes them quite visible when sit here and type; that wasn't intentional, but just how it happened.

  it's funny, the things i think of when i happen to glance at my diplomas. the georgia tech one is bigger, and when i look at it, five years of memories wash over me. little things, mostly. frosted oranges at the v after working out at sac freshman year, late night frisbee, a blissful summer on campus, a camping trip to tennessee. coffee at the waffle house, late nights in the technique office, the early morning walk to the coliseum in graduation robes.

  by contrast, stanford is fuzzy. there are moments that stick out, like jogging along what i called the "bay view" route and seeing the lights across the san francisco bay. watching the leonids from the chilly ground of the golf course, a group celebration after finishing a project, surfing till sunset, climbing half dome. but they seem detached. it was just over so quickly. so much happened in only nine months that time is starting to blur all the separate events into one warm, but fuzzy conglomeration.

  and yet the memories are some of my happiest. i think maybe i should have stayed.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.12.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, October 11, 2002

  thank god it's friday

  i really like this coming-home-for-lunch thing. it's like a siesta. i come home, i fix myself some lunch, i watch part of whatever movie is on tv. quite nice.

  training academy is starting to become obnoxious. this morning we had an eva ops (extravehicular activity operations) briefing that was interesting, but then we had to sit through the "final review session" for the dinky little multiple choice test we have to take next tuesday. i got practically all the questions right during the pre-test, so i have no doubt that i'll be getting 100 on wednesday, even without the review session. {sigh} the woman who's in charge of training academy is really annoying, and refuses to listen to anyone who tells her that the engineering directorate actually does do more than just shuttle and station. stuff like that, ad nauseum. plus she is way too excited about being charge of training academy, and she has an obnoxiously loud and fakey laugh.

  anyway. i'm probably just cranky because i have to get up and sit through classes all day. :)

  so here it is, a three-day weekend (columbus day's a paid holiday for us government folk), and i have absolutely no plans except for tomorrow morning (race for the cure and soccer game). debbie, chris, curt, and cari are all off to california for katie's wedding--god i wish i were going. they're going to san francisco and napa; i miss those places so much. and jason is going to austin for janna and jason dake's wedding. what is up with all these marriages? becca is busy with this world space congress stuff (don't ask). ron and buzz are going to spend the weekend checking out wedding venues.

  yeah, so basically everyone has plans except me. i guess it will be a mental health weekend this time around. i do need to go to ikea, and i guess i'll have time to repaint my sewing table. and vacuum. and exercise. i suppose.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.11.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, October 10, 2002

  five minute update

  five minute summary of yesterday:

  • training academy
  • lunch meeting about soyuz stuff, ugh
  • more training academy
  • we got out early, woohoo!
  • talked to nick in france and he complained that i don't write enough about him, but at this particular moment i don't have the time
  • saw ron's band, the banned, play at pete's barn
  • decided that i am against marriage because the whole "having a fiance" thing takes away my friends
  • watched dawsons creek, a sad, sad addiction to a show locked ina downward spiral
  • paid a bill and remembered how poor i am

  File under: Diaryland Import

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  Wednesday, October 09, 2002

  torrential downpours on a gray day

  ugh, what an absolutely miserable day! it's dark and raining steadily; the only thing that would make it worse is if it were cold outside, so thank goodness this is houston. ;) there are flash flood warnings for the afternoon, as usual when we get any large amount of rain. yuck yuck yuck.

  softball was cancelled last night after the downpours began yesterday afternoon. yes--i am officially on a softball team! yay! i'd told betsy i wanted to play, but she didn't know if she'd have a spot for another girl because last "season" (i.e. june-september) they were full. but one girl isn't playing this time, so i got a spot. hooray! so here i was all excited to play our first two games last night, only to have the torrential downpours begin. ah well. next week. maybe. rainouts are always a problem this time of year.

  training academy is going well so far, not as boring as i'd worried. yesterday morning was dull because it was all logistical stuff, and the first part of yesterday afternoon was dull because it was just a broad overview of space station (which i already know). but yesterday afternoon was really interesting--it was an overview of station operations which included things like scheduling and different operations phases (like assembly, docking, etc) and other stuff i didn't know the specifics of before. so that was good. this morning was dull to begin with (briefings on security and safety, giant UGH), but then we started the nasa history part, which was interesting even if i did already know it. this afternoon we do a 2 hour in-depth lecture on the challenger accident that i've heard is very good, and then we have 2 hours of shuttle operations overview. so this afternoon should be good.

  now that i've put you all to sleep....

  there's supposed to be a party tonight where ron's band is playing, but with all the rain, i wonder if it's still on. hmm. if nothing else, my apartment still needs to be vacuumed.

  last night i ended up going over to becca's for a while to have pizza and drink wine with her. she had her potential house inspected yesterday and the inspector found some cracks and things but was ok...until he found water damage that quite possibly was extensive. like $25,000 to go in just to find out the extent of the damage, because it's around a window and could have extended to structural supports for the roof. for the whole story, go and read her entry for today. so bascially, he told becca to "run, not walk" away from the house, so today she has to go sign the papers to break the contract, and she has to start looking again. :( poor becca. it sucks that things turned sour with this house, but at least she was smart enough to get an inspection, which some people don't. i mean, this is exactly what the inspection is for, and in the long run it will save her a lot of money and headache. so that's that.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.09.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, October 08, 2002

  training academy day 1

  i'm updating from home today! see, today is the first day of this work training thing i'm doing, and we ended up with a 1.5 hour lunch today, and so i decided to come home for lunch and relax. :)

  more about the course. see, i have finally begun training academy, a 2-part 6-week course for new nasa employees. yes, i know, i've been full-time for almost three months now and co-oped for years before that, and yes, i technically could grandfather out of taking it since i started working at nasa before training academy was even invented, and yes, and i already know a lot of things about the space program...but it was suggested that i take it anyway.

  i know that some of the material will be quite repetitive of things i've heard before, and i'm not going to go on the tour next week because i've seen it all at least 2 or 3 times now, but i've talked to my other friends who've been through the classes and i think some of the stuff will be good. plus, it's a chance to meet some other new-ish employees, though i must say, our class is quite small and there are no cute guys. woe is me.

  i'm in part 1 all day every day through next wednesday. next thursday is the beginning of part 2, and for two weeks i'll be auditing the classes about the space station. as an auditor, i'll get to pick and choose what i want and don't want to sit through (some of it is very technical things that you just don't need to know unless you're actually working on that system). then after two weeks of auditing the space station part, i'll be in class all day every day for another two weeks for the space shuttle part. i'm taking that part since i actually will do work relating to the really technical parts of the shuttle. actually, my biggest worry about the whole thing is that it's taking me away from work for 8 hours a day, and i really do have some things i need to get done. i think i'll be earning a lot of credit hours this next month...

  anyway, what all that means for you lovely people who read my journal is that for the next month and a half, my updates may be fewer, or at least not made during the usual 9-10 a.m. time frame. :)

  the braves lost last night, and i really don't know what to say to convey my disappointment. i can only wonder...when is it going to be their year? in the postseason 11 years running...and when is it going to be their year? i'd cheer for the giants from here on out on account of them being one of my second-favorite teams...but i just don't have the heart to cheer for a team that sent my braves reeling once again.

  not that the braves didn't have their chances. sooo many golden opportunities to score last night, and they just didn't.

  i hate it when the baseball season ends.

  curt's birthday dinner at saltgrass steakhouse last night was nice. it would have been better if i hadn't been sitting next to cari, originally from sacramento and thus a giants fan. {sigh} torture, especially when bonds hit that damn home run. after dinner we went to curt's apartment for cake and ice cream. all through dinner and cake and ice cream i was watching or listening to the game. i left curt's at the end of the 8th inning, because i didn't want to watch the end of the game in front of a bunch of people laughing at me for being such a "crazed" fan. i drove home listening to the top of the 9th, and watched the bottom of the 9th alone on my couch in the dark.

  i jumped up and down when furcal made it on base, and again when franco got that single. i was biting my nails down to nubs as sheffield took his chops, and groaned when he struck out. i really thought they were going to do it, i was on my feet and shifting back and forth, and when chipper hit into the double play, for a moment i didn't realize that it was over. when it hit me, i just collapsed in silence.

  {sigh} it was a good year. it could have been better.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.08.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, October 07, 2002

  starry-eyed

  the shuttle launches today, which makes work a little more exciting somehow. my branch chief walked by this morning as becca and i were pouring our coffee and asked, as if it were an afterthought, if we wanted to watch the launch from the mission control viewing room. well of course we did! the viewing room is where all the vips (center director, a few astronauts, etc) watch from, and you have to have an invitation to be able to go in during launch. so we get to go watch with the vips, instead of from the dinky conference room next door where we usually watch from. should be cool. :)

  so i was chatting with the guy cutting my hair yesterday, and he asked if i worked in the area, and so of course i said "yes, i'm an engineer, i work at the space center." he thought it was so cool, and it made me start thinking about my job.

  i've been working here long enough that the coolness factor of my job wore off a long time ago. i come in every day, i sit at my desk, i work at my computer, i deal with bureaucratic crap just like anybody else. yeah, some of my coworkers are astronauts, but they just seem like normal people to me now that i know some of them. when i first started co-oping, i remember being starry-eyed, just amazed at the fact that i was working for nasa! and yet these days, all i think about is how something else might be better. {sigh}

  i always forget that i do have a pretty cool job. i mean, i work for nasa. we send people into space. pretty damn cool.

  anyway. other updates from yesterday:

  1. i got a haircut and am still unsure of whether i like it or not.
  2. birthday lunch for katie was fun even though i got caught in the rain on the way in.
  3. becca bought a house this weekend; she closes at the end of the month. i still can't figure out what she's going to do with a house, but i guess apache will like the backyard...
  4. i went shopping and bought shoes that match my shiny silver skirt, and some neat pinstripe pants. also a pair of black dressy shoes, and a cardigan. also some new candles.
  5. my polaroid camera has arrived and i have decided to take pictures of the people who visit my apartment, but i'm unsure of what to do with the pictures. perhaps a funny bulletin board of them or something. really, i just like the randomness of the camera.
  6. the braves lost. grr. all day i'm going to be nervous. and tonight we're going out to dinner for curt's birthday, so i'm going to have to keep one eye/ear on the conversation and my other eye/ear on the tv in the corner of the restaurant.

  (10:48 a.m.)

  there's a good article here in the houston chronicle online today about one of the astronauts (not one flying today). my favorite line? when encouraging his stepson to become an officer in the military, the astronaut's stepdad said "Because when the enlisted guys are drinking beer, the officers are drinking scotch."

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.07.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, October 06, 2002

  mental health day

  the yankees lost yesterday, and won't be going on to the alcs. mwa ha ha. i am so pleased.

  i know, i know, who am i to hate the yankees for constantly winning and never giving anyone else a chance when i'm a fan of the braves, the team that's won 11 straight division titles? well, for starters, the yankees keep on beating my braves when it counts, like in the world series.

  but i dunno, i just don't like them. i don't like steinbrenner. they're just the big bad yankees, and they annoy me. they have no heart! they're like robots on a permanent mission to win the world series, methodically crushing everybody else underfoot. it's just nice to see a wrench thrown in their gears. and the angels seem like a nice little team.

  it's funny, my opinions of baseball teams are so based on just a gut feeling about them. yankees = mean. oakland = heart. braves = lovably persistant.

  yesterday i took a mental health day, and it was lovely. i barely talked to anyone, and left my apartment only to get the newspaper and then later to get the mail. instead, i stayed in. i cooked taboule (a lebanese salad) and made egg salad for my sandwiches this week. i watched lots of baseball, especially the braves game, and the end of the yankees-angels game. i balanced my checkbook, made myself a budget and finally figured out exactly how much money i have (or, as the case turned out to be, don't have). i painted my fingernails and toenails, i watched movies, i listened to the radio. and i danced in my living room like no one was watching because, well...no one was watching.

  mental health days are nice things.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.06.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, October 05, 2002

  corn-fused

  last night was nice.

  someone, i think carter, recently remarked on how i've been working full-time for not even three months now, and yet i have all these friends that i've known for years. it's true. knowing that i have many friends in houston from my years of co-oping was one of the most convincing reasons to take this job instead of looking elsewhere, and i don't regret that. i need to have good friends in my life; i don't like to feel alone.

  but sometimes, knowing so many people and always going out in groups of 10 or more gets exhausting. last night i went out with just jason and debbie, and it was both fun and relaxing, which was just what i needed after my strange week.

  we went over to sugarland (read: the middle of nowhere, yet somehow still in the houston metropolitan area) and wandered through a corn maze. yep, a big field of corn that has been cut/grown into a maze! there were four different parts--a kiddie maze, a cloud maze (the paths were series of arcs), a texas history maze (cut in the shape of texas and filled with cutouts of texas-y things like a rocket, a star, and the alamo), and finally a labyrinth, which was the coolest part. here it is:

  

  sort of neat, eh? the only problem with is was that the corn is all dead or dying, so in some parts it wasn't over our heads. ah well. after the maze adventure, we caught a late showing of sweet home alabama. it was as expected--cute romantic comedy, but nothing outstanding. but i had wanted to see it, so that was nice.

  no plans for today, really. well, except watching a lot of baseball.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.05.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, October 04, 2002

  strange brew

  so i'm currently in the last-gasp cramming session for ph.d. qualifying exams. i got an email today announcing an info session next week to go over the process and the honor code and things like that, and we'll find out the location and times soon. if i pass, i'll become an official ph.d. student.

  ...hmm. at least that's what i would be doing if i were at stanford.

  this has been the strangest week. monday afternoon i went home sick. tuesday was normal, but then wednesday we did nothing but watch the weather channel to monitor lili's progress. plus, wednesday for lunch we stopped by wendy's and then ate it at matt's apartment while watching the simpsons, which felt weird--to go "home" during the middle of the day. yesterday was normal enough i guess, except it felt like friday all day. and today, well, friday's finally here and i have no idea what i'm doing this weekend.

  it's like the days are all foggy. time passes, but i don't really remember it. i think it's lack of sleep. {sigh} i mean, not entirely, but it is a proven fact that lack of sleep makes me a different--um, flakier, maybe?--person. and my 6 a.m. wakeup time three days a week for this fitness class is making things rough. what a catch-22! it makes me feel better to be exercising again, but it makes me feel worse to have to get up early to exercise.

  there is a simple solution, of course. "go to bed earlier, sarah you dolt!" for unknown reasons, i have a hard time doing that.

  something is just a little bit off, but i don't know what.

  jason and chris came over last night to watch the braves/giants game. the braves won 7-3, much to my relief but to the chagrin of the boys. game 3 on saturday, and in the meantime, i hope to see the a's beat the twins this afternoon.

  no big plans for the weekend. movie tonight, or maybe some random big corn maze?? (i don't know where debbie gets this stuff.) nothing really on the schedule for tomorrow except soccer practice in the morning. a birthday lunch for katie on sunday. that's about it. maybe i'll spend some quality time at the pool...

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.04.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, October 03, 2002

  lili stood me up

  so lili has made her choice, and decided to go for cajun over bbq, and houston makes its second escape in as many weeks. it's not even rainy. sunny and mostly clear. a little breezy, but nothing out of the ordinary. silly lili.

  why does getting a shot in the arm make your arm hurt? yesterday at the clinic i got the booster shots for hepatitis a and b to finish the series i started back in march before i went to mexico. this morning when i raised my arms in the shower to wash my hair, i could feel where the needle had been stuck in both arms. a sore spot in the muscle. why is that? i mean, i know it always happens, but now that i've started thinking about it, i want to know why. does it have to do with the vaccine injected, or is it simply a fact of having a needle stuck in your arm?

  anyway. let's see, what else... my plans to create a darkroom are progressing nicely. my intentions of getting my finances in order are being made good. the necessity of vacuuming my apartment is not being taken care of because i'm a big procrastinator.

  my feel-good moment of the day was this morning when i got this from jen:

  hey sarah,

  at dinner today i got asked for oh about the 50th time if i knew sarah graybeal. this started a discussion about how much everyone liked your cookies and strawberry shortcake! everyone said you made the best desserts . . . just thought i'd pass on the compliment.

  :) jen

  awww. i miss dinner at breakers. i wish i could write the entire club an email saying hello. fortunately, when i go back to visit i'll be able to go eat there. maybe they'll even let me make dessert one night!

  the braves play again tonight. i sure hope they win! in the meantime, last night i watched the second half of the yankees/angels and was quite happy to see the yankees go down. then this morning i was reading commentary and found this: "For six months, approximately 11 people outside of Anaheim in the entire country even know the Anaheim Angels exist. Then, as soon as the calendar flips to October, everybody with a TV wants to manage them." thought it was funny.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.03.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, October 02, 2002

  red sky at night, sailors delight; red sky at morning, sailors take warning

  lili is still headed straight for us, though it looks poised to take a turn for the texas/louisiana border later today. that would leave us with tropical storm strength winds and probably a bunch of rain. whee. however, if it doesn't turn, we're in for a fun time.

  yesterday i found out southwestern bell is indeed a bastard, as becca had said they might be. i signed up for an international calling plan that gives me a rate of 13 cents/minute to france...but what they didn't tell me (despite my asking the question explicitly) was that there is a 16 cent/minute surcharge if i call a mobile phone in france. so if i call nick's cell, i'm actually paying 29 cents/minute. i specifically asked the woman about that when i called to set up my international plan, because becca had the same problem with hers, and the woman told me it was 13 cents no matter what i called in france. liar! now i will have to only call nick's home phone. grumble, grumble.

  this article in the onion today is great: Bush Seeks U.N. Support For 'U.S. Does Whatever It Wants' Plan. "This kindness played a vital role in our national healing process, but, more importantly, it cemented our long-standing self-image as the country, with all other nations lumped together into a vague, foreign Other Place. I call upon you now to join us in our vision of America as the only country whose wishes matter." very funny, and scarily close to what it sometimes seems like bush is doing with this whole iraq thing.

  i hate the yankees, and the way they never die. looking forward to the braves getting underway this afternoon.

  this morning i had the second part of my physical, the part when i actually meet with the doctor and she goes over my bloodwork and stuff. i have been pronounced in fine shape. so, today i've been early to rise, and healthy. now i just need to work on the early to bed, wealthy and wise parts.

  (2:47 p.m.)

  ok. i'm sitting here at work wondering why we're even attempting to work. no one's actually doing anything except reloading weather webpages over and over. that, and playing armchair meteorologist. lili is still heading our way and has quickly strengthened to a not-to-be-fooled-with category 4 hurricane (that's sustained winds >130 mph). they are still expecting it to start making a turn to the north...but they won't know how much it will turn for sure until later this evening. i think i'm gonna go home, pack a bag, and keep watching the forecast. later tonight i'll make a decision on whether to head out or not.

  and the braves are losing. badly. suck.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.02.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, October 01, 2002

  if april showers bring may flowers, what do october hurricanes bring?

  happy new year! for my coworkers and me, anyway. yes, it's october 1, the beginning of fiscal year 2003 for those us of in government service. no big changes, except i had to have my timecard through yesterday finished by this morning, instead of by friday. woo.

  ah, october, my favorite month. and this year, it brings our second hurricane threat in so many weeks. we escaped isidore and sent it to louisiana instead. looks like we may not be so lucky with lili.

  i still felt like crap after lunch yesterday, so i went home about 2:00 and bummed around napping and watching stupid tv all afternoon and evening. being home beofre 5:00 finally gave me a chance to call nick (who is 7 hours ahead of me), so it was nice to talk to him. i miss having him here.

  i've decided that i can't possibly be the only person who often feels a little crazy and unsure of themself. if i were, i would be a strange mutation of the human race and some scientist would have discovered me by now and subjected me to all sorts of weird tests to understand why i am the way i am. now that we have that covered...

  see, lately i've been having doubts. about where i am and what i'm doing with my life. like a flashback to the quarter-life crisis i underwent about a year and a half ago. the main character in office space asks a question that goes something like "what would you do if you had a million dollars? because whatever your answer is, that's what you're supposed to do." the guy's answer is that he would do nothing. (to put things in perspective, his friend's answer is that he'd do two woman at the same time. yeah.) now, i know, it's just a movie, but i actually think the question is legitimate.

  i like my job, but i can't escape feeling slightly restless. today is the 1st of october. it is the first 1st of october in the history of my life that i haven't been in school, with the exception of one co-op tour. ok, and when i was a baby. but you get the idea.

  if i woke up tomorrow morning and had a million dollars (and we're just talking a flat million that is magically tax-free, for the purposes of this exercise, so don't nit-pick, people), this is what i would do: first, pay off the rest of my student loans (which total more than $10k but less than $20k). second, treat myself to a new car. third, i would buy some things for family and friends that i know they really want. fourth, i might think about buying a house, but probably wouldn't, because of what my next plan would be.

  see, i'd take the remaining ~$925,000 and dump it into a savings account of some sort. with $925,000 in the bank, i would then indulge myself by going back to school and taking completely random classes in photography, or journalism, or graphic design. i would be able to go from odd job to odd job, changing and indulging my interests as i see fit, and never having to haggle over a salary of ~$20,000 a year because with the quite realistic assumption of a 5-6% return every year on my nest egg, i'd have ~$70,000/year at my disposal just from the interest. which is far more than i'd need, at least as a single person. hell, i could support a family on that! my parents did it on less.

  they say that a million dollars today ain't what it used to be, but i say, i'll still take it and could live as comfortably as i wanted for the rest of my life. i dunno, it makes sense to me somehow.

  it's a bit of a scary thought--the idea that if money didn't matter, i can't say that i'd definitely be doing what i'm doing now. no, if money didn't matter, i would explore many different paths.

  becca says that if that's how i truly feel, that if i'd quit my job tomorrow if someone gave me a million, then i should go ahead and do it. go ahead and explore another path.

  i don't know. i'd like to know if i could make it in a completely different career track, and i wonder if i would enjoy it more or less....and yet i am very comfortable with my life right now, and the comforts i'm able to enjoy on a more-than-$20k salary. i guess one must decide which they feel is more important, and i'm not ready to make that decision.

  anyway. i'm feeling physically better today, so that's a start, even if i'm still mentally confused. i posted pictures from bowling on sunday. i must warn the viewer that they are mostly bad pictures, and include many shots of people's butts. i wasn't in control of the camera, so you can't blame me. i just post 'em.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.01.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, September 30, 2002

  blech

  i feel like poop. i got up this morning and dragged myself to fitness class, but couldn't escape the feeling of nausea so i came home and dozed for another 45 minutes. now i'm here at work feeling less nauseaus, but still lousy. becca said "why don't you just go home and take a sick day?" it's tempting, but i dunno, i always feel bad taking a sick day unless i'm on the verge of dying.

  if i don't feel better by lunchtime, maybe i'll take the afternoon off.

  feeling bad has put me in a grumpy mood, and that combined with a long conversation i had yesterday about the nature of close friendships has left me feeling bummed out and insecure and regretful of the ways i've made good friendships turn awkward at times. sucks. hopefully a good night's sleep tonight will remedy it.

  going bowling yesterday afternoon with a large group of huggy fun people helped me recover from the conversation and remind me that as long as i know how people feel about me, it doesn't really matter which words they use to describe it. {sigh} words, words, words. lately, they've been the source of all sorts of debate in my life. sometime i'd like to just be able to feel something and not have to try to put it into words.

  here in houston, we just got one lucky break as isidore decided to go swamp southeast louisiana instead of us, and now before we get a chance to relax we have to worry about tropical storm lili that's supposed to be in the gulf (and headed semi-straight for us) as a hurricane by tuesday. lovely.

  the baseball regular season is over. how sad! i'm looking forward to the playoffs though. here are my hopes:

  division series: a's over twins, yankees over angels, braves over giants, diamondbacks over cardinals.
  league series: a's over yankees, braves over diamondbacks.
  world series: braves over a's in 7 games, braves win! braves win!

  i just think that's the perfect set-up. the yankees and a's get a rematch with the a's finally triumphing over turncoat jason giambi and the big bad yankees. the braves and diamondbacks get a rematch with the braves outlasting the returning champs. and the world series goes 7 games, which is always a treat.

  (1:45 p.m.)

  are there other people who feel like they are permanently doing damage control for saying something stupid, or is it just me? i'm ready for this case of the mondays to pass.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 09.30.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, September 29, 2002

  am i growing an aversion to wedding bells?

  i have been missing my friend ron lately. why? well, i've been back in houston for more than two months now and have only seen him a handful of times. after living with him for the past two summers, that is hard to swallow sometimes. it's because we're both busy, and aren't used to having to plan ahead in order to see each other, i think.

  last week his fiance moved to houston permanently after being in england for the past three years on a rhodes scholarship. it feels a little strange to have her around, to see them together. they've been together for six years now, but they've never really been together, meaning, in the same place. it is strange that she's finally here permanently. for so long, she was sort of a nebulous concept. we all knew ron had this other person who played an important role in his life, but we never saw her. as carter put it earlier, "you've been his girl for so long, it's like 'wait, you have another girlfriend?'" i tried to deny it, but it's true.

  it's not that i ever wanted ron to ditch her and date me, not at all. it's just that we've been good friends for so long now. i mean, we were roommates for two summers, and had a lot of great times and fantastic conversations. having his fiance back changes the dynamic, is all, and that will take some getting used to.

  the fiance in question, however, is great. she's funny and nice and easy to spend time with. i realized recently that i am very lucky to have some great friends who also have great taste in mates. all the grooms in my life--dave (cayce's), brian (leila's), don (jes's) and fred (katie's)--are guys that i probably would have become friends with even if i'd met them independent of their brides. the same thing (but in the vice versa guy-with-good-taste-in-girl pattern) goes for buzz, ron's bride-to-be.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 09.29.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, September 28, 2002

  car wrecks and the cat in the hat

  someone told me that i have become much more witty in my old age. sometimes i notice things i say, and think this might be true. if it is, it sort of makes me happy. i've always wanted to be witty.

  today's been great. i got up this morning and played soccer with a bunch of people from work, some i knew and some i didn't. it was a lot of fun, even though we ended up losing 3-2. after the game i rushed home to take the world's quickest shower, and put on my shiny silver skirt to join debbie, curt, and chris for a matinee of seussical the musical at the new hobby performing arts center downtown. the musical was amusing and the new theater (it opened in april) was quite nice. afterward, we walked over to bayou place for an early dinner.

  ok, so on to bigger and better tales. last night we went out to dinner and a movie. the dinner was sub-par, the movie was silly, but the real story is what happened in the parking lot just before dinner. chris was about to pull his van into the handicapped spot when a young kid who wasn't looking where he was going backed his car right into chris's left rear wheel. yikes! it made quite a crunching sound, so we parked and all got out to look. the kid's car (a complete piece-of-crap old ford tempo) was in bad shape, with the rear bumper hanging on by a thread. granted, the car wasn't in any sort of good shape to begin with, but now the bumper was hanging off.

  the kid gets out and looks very worried. he awkwardly explains that he literally just bought the car like 4 hours beforehand, and, to be quite honest, he hasn't had a chance to call geico yet. chris, debbie and i exchange glances. the kid doesn't have insurance. the damage to chris's van is minimal, while the kid's car is in more dire condition. as chris is deciding how nice of a guy he wants to be (because, of course, you call the police and the kid will likely get in major trouble for driving without insurance, the kid bends down to inspect the damage, and touches the bumper.

  now, you know how in the road runner and coyote cartoons when the coyote gets exploded and he just stands there before disintegrating into a pile of ashes when the road runner comes up and blows on him? well that's what happened to this kid's car! he barely touched the bumper, and the entire thing just fell right off the car. the entire bumper. i wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry, but i was definitely leaning towards laughter. the situation just seemed so absurd.

  we stood there, chris not sure what to say, but hinting that he was willing to let things slide. after a minute i spoke up and said to the kid "ok, well, you have two options. you can settle this right here and decide to just leave things as they are, as i think chris is willing to do (as chris nodded next to me). if you have any ideas of getting insurance to cover the damage you can call the police and get an accident report. but to tell you the truth, i have no idea whose fault this was..." (see, the kid was backing up through another row of empty parking spaces without looking, but chris was driving on the wrong side of the parking lot lane in preparation for parking, so i dunno who was technically at fault.) "...and so if you call the police, whatever way they decide, you're likely going to get into some serious trouble for not having insurance at all. so the ball is in your court."

  the kid immediately blurted out that he didn't want to involve the police, so in the end, chris decided to give the kid a really lucky break and just let things slide since the damage to his van wasn't that great. we then stood in the parking lot for another couple minutes awkwardly watching the kid try to figure out what to do with the bumper to his car. he was going to try to fit it in his trunk, and actually bent the bumper even more than it had been originally trying to compact the thing. i offered a half-hearted "i think you're going to have to put it in your backseat." with nothing we could do, we headed to the restaurant and told the kid that if he needed us, we'd be inside for the next hour. when we came out, he was gone.

  anyway. after the movie we came home and i tried in vain to figure out how to use my remote control. see, i just got digital cable installed and the guys who installed it while i was at work didn't program the remote correctly. chris and debbie couldn't figure it out either so finally i had to call customer service. i felt soooo dumb.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 09.28.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, September 27, 2002

  doggie paddle

  last night i finally made it over to the lap pool in my apartment complex. man, i am not as good a swimmer as i once was. i did 250 meters, took a breather, and then swam another 250 meters, both sets in a combination of freestyle and breaststroke, until my arms gave out and i headed home. yes, my arms. man, i could really tell that i've been doing a lot of pushups this week as part of the fitness program--i could feel my upper arm muscles burning. still, being in the water was oddly relaxing. when i buy a house someday (some far-in-the-future day), it will have to be near a pool.

  in other news, i have finally truly attained victory over reliant energy. current amount due on my account: $0.00. now theoretically i can set about finding a new energy company; however, after fighting for 2 months over my electric bill (and hearing becca's frustration over the fact that her energy company can't seem to figure out how to actually send her a bill), i don't really feel like dealing with electricity at all. so i'm going to give reliant another chance. i hope i don't regret this.

  i am all sorts of in love with the new dixie chicks cd. apparently, carter's mom likes it too. he finds this weird, though i don't know why. i love the dixie chicks. :)

  i also made blueberry muffins last night (while watching survivor and taping friends to watch after will & grace, yay tv) and was subsequently called "so domesticated." i just like to bake. actually, i really wanted to make cookies, but i don't have a cookie sheet. i have freaking muffin tins, but no cookie sheet, how messed up is that?

  random thought: there apparently are rumblings around nasa of looking beyond earth orbit for the first time in years. this is encouraging.

  it's funny that becca tries so hard to portray me as an anti-dog person instead of just admitting that actually i'm just anti-apache. not that i don't think apache is cute and all, but she's exhausting. i don't care much about the house-breaking since i don't live in either place she likes to poop, but it's just an issue with which to point out that apache's overall training hasn't been all that effective so far. i don't like being jumped on and licked. gavin's dogs will jump and lick for about a minute in excitement over me being a new person at their house, but then settle down. apache never settles down. i don't mean to be rude, but it's annoying when a dog won't leave you alone when you want it to.

  poor karen. people are trying to throw away all her things.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 09.27.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, September 26, 2002

  politics politics freaking politics

  "fifteen white boys come running at you, shirts rolled up, khakis...i thought i had fallen into an abercrombie commercial, i was like oh my goodness! ...but they can sing." that's a paraphrased quote from a yale university freshman during a capella rush week. yes, a capella rush week. the story was on npr this morning, and i was quite amused.

  so general howell, the center director, addressed all jsc employees this morning. why? as far as i can tell, he just wanted to encourage employees to stop gossiping about budget cuts and program shake-ups, and reassure the jsc workforce that there is still plenty of work to do and that their jobs are secure. interesting. his speech really was not that great, but i give him leeway because he's a former marine, not a politician. he's not supposed to know how to speak, right?

  {sigh}

  i'm tired today. i was on my way to bed last night at 10:20 or so when i decided to check my email. i saw that carter was online so i figured i'd say hi. little did i know it'd lead to an hour-long political discussion, mainly about how bush is doing as a president and feelings about the "let's attack iraq" mentality.

  now, i don't usually discuss politics. i don't have a clear reason for not doing so; i just don't. i feel uneducated about most political issues (the space program being the single glaring exception), and feel like it's not my right to argue one side versus another if i don't have anything to go on other than my own emotion. and yes, i know i could just go out and read more and learn about the issues, but to tell the truth, i'm usually not too interested. i know that politics affect me on a higher level, but they don't seem to affect me on a day-to-day basis. and there's also my constantly-reinforced impression that no one in washington could give a crap about me as an individual; why should i waste my time caring about them?

  but anyway. the gist of my opinions on the subject are: 1) it seems to me (and i admit i haven't done any research on this issue, this is based on what i've heard in passing) like we're going to attack iraq just for the hell of it, and maybe in hopes of getting republicans reelected, and that's absurd. 2) i like bush. he seems like an ok guy, an ordinary guy, someone who actually does have an idea of what the general american public is like, and i think it's a nice change. yes, he has a shady past and he's a daddy's boy and he's a lousy speaker and he's making some questionable decisions on iraq, but in the end, he's the president, and i respect that.

  and i'm a registered republican, so think what you want about my political leanings.

  anyway. so that's that.

  my polaroid that i just bought yesterday off ebay is already in houston! i'm amazed, and once again in love with being able to track packages. however, the website says delivery is scheduled for september 30, so i wonder if i will really sit in the warehouse all weekend before finally being brought to my apartment on monday...

  also, i've pretty much decided which enlarger i'm going to get. i'm going to order from b&h in new york though, and they're close until monday because of the jewish holidays. i guess i'll order on monday. this weekend, i'm going in search of a local photo store where i can get the chemicals, etc that i'll need.

  (10:26 a.m.)

  michael jordan, man, i love you, but enough is enough.

  i forgot to mention that the reason the whole political discussion began was that carter asked if i'd watched the season premiere of west wing last night. i did. i've never really paid much attention to the actual plot of the show, the "satire of american politics" or whatever, but good lord, the writing on that show is just amazing. they crack me up time and time again with the wit displayed by the characters. "my name is toby...i work at the white house." "schmalzy pants." the whole discussion about to-take-or-not-to-take a photo with an old guy who'd had his picture taken with hoover the day before the great depression began. calling the girl unwholesome in front of her boyfriend. "didn't vote for him the first time, don't plan to this time." "i love dry rub!" the writing is freaking incredible.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 09.26.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, September 25, 2002

  stop, thief!

  my calculator is missing. i just noticed today that it was gone. i don't know if it was here yesterday or monday, but i'm pretty sure it was here last week. and now it's gone. nowhere to be found, and i've searched my entire desk area and asked everyone in my group if they borrowed it. no trace. {sigh} there were people in the building over the weekend working on the sprinkler system, so the guess is that one of them swiped it off my desk. i'm annoyed. i'd had that calculator since 11th grade (that's 8 years now). it was a ti-82, which they probably don't even make anymore, so now i'll have to learn how to use a new calculator. grr. i think this may be the only thing i've ever had stolen (knock on wood).

  the baseball game last night was fun, even if the astros lost. the odd part was that the beginning of the game was delayed for about 20 minutes because of rain. yes, rain. a normal occurrence at most ballparks, but not in houston, where enron field, i mean minute maid park, has a retractable roof. strange. i guess they couldn't close it fast enough; one of the ushers said they'd had the tarp out on the field for a while. i didn't even know they had a tarp. who needs a tarp when you have a roof??

  we didn't get back until after 11:00 last night, and since i had to get up to go to fitness class this morning, i'm sleepy. it's sad that i can't stay up late anymore. hmm. on second thought, i think perhaps it's just that i don't like being sleepy, and now that i've finally escaped the non-stop ass-kicking of being in school, most nights i actually can get enough sleep to not be tired the next day. in school, 6 hours of sleep in one night was a luxury. now, 6 hours is a big annoyance.

  anyway.

  last night i decided that i want a polaroid camera, you know, the big bulky things that spit out 3"x3" magically-developing-before-your-very-eyes pictures. so i went on ebay this morning and bought one for $3. cool.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 09.25.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, September 24, 2002

  hurricane's a-comin'

  as those silly hurricanes are wont to do, isadore has shifted a bit and now appears to be headed straight for new orleans. that's better news for me, but i i figure that no matter where it lands, it'll be close enough to dump a lot of rain on houston. we'll see. looks like it'll get here sometime late tomorrow or thursday.

  in the meantime, i'm going to continue to enjoy this absolutely wonderful weather! last night i got home from picking jason up at the airport, turned off my air conditioner (which was only running sparingly anyway), and opened up a few windows. it was lovely. i feel asleep with a nice cool breeze of fresh air coming in.

  i have been having a week of really enjoyable evenings. last night i cooked a real dinner for myself--i made stir fry! granted, it was with frozen vegetables, but i added chicken and flavored it and everything. ok, fine, it didn't involve any cooking skill at all, but it made me happy.

  i need to call reliant again. i called last night to make sure the deposit had been taken off my account and that they won't shut off my electricity today, and the change "hadn't gone through yet," in the words of the customer service woman. {sigh} it better have gone through today or i will not be a happy camper. the good news is that last night the woman and i reached a compromise in which she gave me a few more days to get this straightened out before forwarding the disconnection notice to the disconnection department. or at least she said she would do that. god i hate reliant so, so much.

  tonight we're going to the astros game! it will likely be my last game of the season, unless we somehow end up going tomorrow night as well, because the astros are not going to make it to the playoffs. :( i'm not very happy at the prospect of 5 months without baseball. it makes the winter so dull.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 09.24.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, September 23, 2002

  happiness is red toenails

  so becca and i got pedicures yesterday, and i must say, ohhhhhh the luxury. i think getting one will become my monthly gift to myself. i mean, what's better in life than sitting in a chair for an hour reading fluff fashion magazines and having your feet pampered? i now have bright red toenails and am quite enthralled by them. the shade is called "i'm not really a waitress." i kid you not. how cool is that? :)

  i had an excellent conversation last night, one that i would have rather been "having over coffee," as christina would put it. the question has been raised that: "do we ever stop waiting for the 'next thing' - that next part of ours lives that we are just trying to get to? do we ever actually get there or do we just keep waiting for something better? someone shared something that he learned in thearpy - he says that he has realized that happiness is just contentment in a routine."

  so that's the current topic of debate in my life. it's funny how i agree so completely with some friends and disagree so completely with others on this one topic.

  anyway. this weekend unfortunately was like most weekends--over before i knew it, leaving me already looking forward to the next one. ah well. that's what work is for, right? to earn myself enough money to have fantastic weekends.

  over the past two days, however, i did remember something that i learned five years ago and had forgotten--houston is really pleasant in the fall! we had our first real cold front come through, and i doubt the temperatures even topped 85, and the humidity was much lower than normal. this morning, it was downright cool outside. as i told carter last night, it's almost as if someone decided to give us a few gorgeous days before slamming us with a hurricane next weekend.

  

  yep, hurricane isadore is predicted to head this way. if it gains steam once it leaves the yucatan and heads toward houston, i'm leaving town. i've been through one hurricane (hugo, a massive category 4, in 1989) and don't have much of a desire to experience another one. on a related note, leila, keep your spare bedroom prepped for me.

  ok. as i was just looking at that predicted path map, i showed it to becca, who pronouced with certainty "oh, it looks like we won't get hit directly even if it does follow this path--we'll just get the side of it." i gave her an odd look and said "um, if you trace that line out straight, the eye goes directly over houston," to which she replied "oh, that's houston?? i thought we were down here!" as she pointed farther down the texas coastline. dear god, the girl has been here for 9 months and she can't even point out houston on a map that's not explicity labeled. sad, sad. for those non-texans out there, you can find houston on the map above by starting at the texas/louisiana border and tracing down the coast until you come to the first big bay (galveston bay) that juts inland. see how the predicted path of the hurricane is heading smack for us? yeah.

  (2:32 p.m.)

  news update for the day: I HAVE TRIUMPHED OVER RELIANT ENERGY! give it up for me! yeah yeah yeah! i have recently finished jumping up and down at my desk and pumping my fists not unlike meg ryan in french kiss, much to the amusement of becca and gavin. ha ha, i win, i win!

  of course it was maddeningly simple, once i finally got the right person on the line. i don't remember if i explained the whole problem, but basically it was thus: reliant wanted me to either pay a $220 deposit, get someone to cosign my account, or provide them with a letter of credit from another electric company. well, i couldn't get a letter of credit because i've never had my own electric bill until now, and getting a cosigner or paying a deposit were both unacceptable choices for me. basically, reliant was telling me i had to pay a deposit because i didn't have credit, and yet they never even checked my credit. after much annoyance on my part with customer service, i finally managed to get in touch with the credit department itself and spoke to a nice man--by far the nicest person i've talked to at reliant. after explaining my problem for the umpteenth time and having him give me the standard "you need a letter/cosigner" spiel, i calmly asked him if he could please just check my credit. he complied, put me on hold, and three minutes later came back with a "ma'am, i apologize for all the inconvenience. your credit is fine, and i'll remove the deposit right now."

  well HOORAY! i finally spoke to someone competant, and just in time--the threatening letters i've been getting have said my power was going to be disconnected tomorrow. i'm going to call the customer service office this afternoon just to make sure the deposit is gone. cross your fingers.

  in the meantime, i am basking in the glow of my victory.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 09.23.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, September 22, 2002

  silly survey

  i was bored today, so instead of writing deep thoughts, i've cheated and copied another little listing thing from someone else's site...

  10 Bands You've Seen Live

  1. counting crows
  2. dave matthews band
  3. john mayer
  4. rem
  5. clint black
  6. they might be giants
  7. sarah mclachlan
  8. the dixie chicks
  9. harry connick, jr
  10. the san francisco symphony

  09 Things You're Looking Forward To

  1. going to france
  2. christmas
  3. buying an enlarger
  4. sitting on my balcony in the cool fall air
  5. revisiting california
  6. getting my first pedicure
  7. sleeping tonight in my soft, soft bed
  8. repainting my sewing table
  9. the two towers movie

  08 Things You Wear Daily

  1. underwear
  2. earrings or a necklace or both
  3. contact lenses
  4. pajama pants
  5. towel
  6. nothing
  7. flip flops (summer) or shoes (winter)
  8. my seat belt

  07 Things That Annoy You

  1. reliant energy's billing procedures
  2. being told that i need a date
  3. intolerance
  4. saying nuke-you-ler instead of nuke-lee-urr
  5. intrusive secrecy
  6. road construction
  7. food that goes bad before i get a chance to eat it

  06 Things You Touch Every Day

  1. the snooze button on the alarm clock
  2. computer keyboard
  3. the remote control (sad, sad)
  4. the handle of the refrigerator
  5. water
  6. steering wheel

  05 Things You Do Every Day

  1. laugh
  2. sleep
  3. look in the mirror and wish my hair weren't poofy
  4. think about going running
  5. brush my teeth

  04 People You'd Want to Spend More Time With

  1. myself
  2. my college friends who live in many places
  3. lance armstrong
  4. ron

  03 Movies You Could Watch Over and Over

  1. the hunt for red october
  2. sliding doors
  3. 10 things i hate about you (so help me, i love this movie)

  02 Of Your Favorite Songs At This Moment

  1. dixie chicks, long time gone
  2. john mayer, comfortable

  01 Person You Could Spend the Rest of Your Life With

  1. if i knew that with any certainty about someone who felt the same way about me, i wouldn't be single, right? so...

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 09.22.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, September 21, 2002

  sarah the airport taxi service

  i have now run 2 races in houston, and racked up my 2 worst times ever. even my very first race, when i had never even done one before, was better than the 2 i've done in the last 2 months. i'm very disappointed in myself for letting my body and my level of fitness slide over the past three months, basically since graduating from stanford. i'm glad to have started this fitness program at work, hopefully it will get me off my ass and back into the good shape i was enjoying in the spring.

  debbie and i drove all the way to intercontinental, a.k.a. "the big airport," to run in a 5k that consisted of two laps around a new cargo taxiway. the route was the most boring one i've run in my life, but the steady stream of planes passing 100 feet overhead on their way to land made it interesting. ;)

  i always forget how freaking far away intercontinental is. and i've been there 3 times this week, and on monday will make it 4 times in 8 days. coming back from scotland last sunday. taking jason on tuesday. running the race today. picking jason up on monday. i'm putting a lot of miles on my little car.

  nick called yesterday (from france!) while i was still at work. {sigh} i miss having him here, but it sounds like he is having a great time so far in aix-en-provence. i was looking up airline tickets today. i can fly into marseille for only $50-100 more than flying into paris. on either british airways or air france, no less, which are both more comfortable than american carriers. this is a fantastic revelation, as flying into paris would involve a $100, 4 hour ride on the tgv to get down to aix, while marseille is much closer. here's a map, see aix-en-provence, all the way down in the southeast corner? see how much better it would be to fly to marseille?

  this afternoon i went to a bridal shower for my friend katie who's marrying a great guy named fred on october 13. i'd never been to a true bridal shower before--you know, where it's only girls there and you play the silly games and such. it was fun, and i won a prize for not saying any of the forbidden words (katie, fred, bride, groom, marriage). silly, silly. but nice. katie is one of the nicest and most sincere people that i know. she always listens and always has something well-thought-out and reasonable to say. she's just the kind of person who is always smiling, and i wish her all the best.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 09.21.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, September 20, 2002

  poked and prodded like a pin cushion

  day 3 of the health related fitness program, and i'm wondering if becca will ever make it on time, or if i should just get used to seeing her rumble in 5-10 minutes late. ;) after the hellish thunderstorm of last night, the weather this morning was absolutely lovely--clear and cool. i did 2 miles on the short track, a combination of walking and running because i didn't want to get really sweaty. why? because i had to be at the clinic at 7:45 for my physical and i wouldn't have time to take a shower between working out and going there.

  now, when the jsc clinic does a physical they really do a physical. we're talking hearing test, eye test, some sort of lung capacity thing, chest x-ray, ekg, tb test, blood work, and--ah yes--urine sample. no one told me i'd have to pee in a cup, and being oblivious as i sometimes am, i didn't think about it. so i got up this morning and went to the bathroom as i always do, only to arrive at the clinic with absolutely no desire to pee. i must have gulped a gallon of water trying to make myself pee. it worked, finally, of course, only i drank so much water that now all morning i've been having to go to the bathroom. amusing.

  i know you cared.

  anyhoo, i'm quite glad that it's friday. i'm looking forward to a relaxing weekend, after being on the go pretty much non-stop for the past month. i haven't had a free weekend to myself since mid-august, "free" indicating time by myself to do errands, clean up around my apartment, organize stuff, cook good food, and of course, veg out with stupid magazines and tv shows. it'll be nice. my only plans are a 5k on the taxiway at intercontinental airport tomorrow morning, and a bridal shower tomorrow afternoon. i have no plans for either weekend night, and i think i like it that way.

  ...though seeing a movie tonight sounds quite appealing, so maybe i'll see if someone wants to go. i currently want to see: four feathers, ecks vs. sever, big fat greek wedding, and one hour photo. it's been a few weeks since i hit the theater.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 09.20.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, September 19, 2002

  randomness

  i am a complete sucker for feel-good stories. this is one of the many reasons i'm currently hopelessly in love with miguel tejada and the oakland a's.

  so yesterday i used my new health insurance plan for the first time to get a prescription skin cream for my bumpy arms. it's a common skin condition called keratosis pilaris; i've had it since i was a baby but never done anything about it. i have a bad habit of making it worse, however, so i decided to finally go and get the prescription. and i only had to pay $10! wow! consequently, i am now all enamored with my health insurance. i have a feeling that this is not a good thing to be enamored with.

  anyway. that was boring, wasn't it. either that, or more information than you cared to know about my bumpy arms.

  let's see. i'm having lunch today with...phil! phil is back and starts work on monday. yippy. and ron is in nebraska this weekend with buzz, because she also starts work on monday. i won't be the newest person in the division anymore...

  i've been looking for darkroom equipment, and found a guy selling a complete color setup for $600. i'm trying to decide whether that is a good deal (if the stuff is in decent condition, i think it is a good deal), and whether i should go ahead and buy it. i'd rather not spend $600 right this moment, but i'd have to pay more later... the other thing to consider is that i could get a black and white setup for $400. that's more affordable for me at the moment, but to get color equipment for only $200 more... oy vey, what a dilemma. :)

  and finally, reliant energy is a company of bastards and idiots and i hate them with the fire of a thousand suns.

  that is all.

  (11:30 a.m.)

  becca went on a rant today about how i said she was not an outdoors-y person. now i must defend my sacred honor. ;p this is my take:

  becca certainly loves the idea of the outdoors, and i'm pretty sure she actually likes being there as well...but only at certain times. it's not that she's not an outdoors kind of girl; she can live as primatively and in as gross conditions, etc, as anyone. it's just more like this (to take a catch phrase and alter it slightly): her eyes are bigger than her stamina.

  for example: we get the idea to go climb half dome/ride bikes around orkney. becca is excited, and flies all the way to california/the united kingdom to do it. we get the necessary supplies, we make arrangements to get to the place and back, we plan our departure time and pack food and water, we're ready to go. becca's pumped.

  the day arrives, and we wake up at some ungodly hour of the morning. becca complains about having to get up early and has to be coaxed out of bed.

  later, she's awake. we start the hike/bike ride, and it's fairly challenging because the route is uphill/windy. becca's pace slows to a crawl. for the next 14/5 hours, all i hear are complaints about how i need to stop asking her to catch up, how her feet/ass hurt, how nice it would be to be that deer/cow over there grazing/lying peacefully in the woods/grass, how she can't walk/bike much farther, how she just wants to die, etc. by all outward appearances, she is having an absolutely miserable time. i begin to doubt that we will survive the trip without one of us going crazy.

  finally we finish the hike/ride. becca either continues to complain (if she has any energy left) or falls silent. later that night or the next morning, she suddenly comes back to life and exclaims something along the lines of "that was awesome, i'm really glad we did that!" at which point i groan in exasperation and think about hitting her with something heavy.

  :)

  so yes. eyes bigger than stamina pretty much explains my diagnosis of becca's outdoorsiness.

  (p.s. i feel the need to add this disclaimer for those of you who might think that becca and i are engaged in some sort of battle of wills. forget it, cause we're not. :) we're just not the most compatible physical activity partners, and we like to tease about it.)

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 09.19.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, September 18, 2002

  watch out for bonnie

  i had a lovely evening yesterday. i had to stay at work late because i took 2 hours off to take jason to the airport (he's off to italy and austria for a week, visiting an old friend), but when i got home, i made a nice dinner and watched some tv. i watched two new shows on abc. one had a long and complicated name involving dating teenage daughters, and it was funny. the other show was called "life with bonnie."

  i just have to say, good lord. i have never watched a show with greater potential to give the viewer a seizure. it was absolutely horrid. now, i am definitely not a discerning tv viewer; in fact, i will watch just about anything, even really cheesy mtv dramas (just ask ron, who suffered through life with my tv habits last summer). but this bonnie show was just abominable. the worst part was that i couldn't change the channel. i sat there watching as if the tv were the scene of some horrific accident where you want desperately to turn away, but something won't let you. i reasoned that it had to get better at some point, but of course it didn't. yeeeeck.

  anyway, that wasn't the lovely part of my evening. the lovely part was the show finally ended and i was able to tear my eyes away from the horror, at which point i headed to the grocery store to restock my fridge (it was pretty empty since i threw away a bunch of stuff before i went to scotland, knowing it'd be bad when i got back). i came home in a mellow mood and turned on the local npr/classical radio station at precisely the moment the clarinet whines up the scale at the beginning of gershwin's rhapsody in blue. ahhhhhh. perfection.

  this morning was day 2 of getting up at 6 a.m. for the health related fitness program. today was another easy day--we just learned how to use all the weight machines, most of which were pretty self-explanatory already. i can't get my fitness "orders" (i.e. recommendations on what sort of exercise i should do to achieve my goals) yet anyway, at least not until i've had my physical on friday. i have to be medically cleared to participate. that requirement amuses me somewhat, since i'm not a 90-year-old fragile woman. i can understand the rationale though.

  in baseball news, the braves have clinched the division win, the a's are certain to either win the al west or the al wild card, and the astros are all but dead in the water. since the fates of 3 of my 4 teams are already determined, i now get to focus my attention solely on my 4th "home" team, at which point i say "go giants!" they're one game ahead of the dodgers for the nl wild card. woo.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 09.18.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, September 17, 2002

  shaved heads and suicidal earrings

  first things first. pictures from scotland (all 252 of them; i love having a digital camera) have been posted here for your viewing pleasure. if you don't want to look at 252 pictures individually, there are convenient index pages so you can skim. :)

  last night i got to shave jason's head! (before, during, and after pictures are here.) he wanted something different, and when he mentioned the thought of shaving his head, all i could say was "doooooo it!" so he did, and i got to be the head-shaver! ok, so we're not talking completely bic-razor-to-the-scalp bald, but close. we progressed from a #4 guard to a #2 and finally to a #1 after ensuring that his head wasn't oddly shaped, so now his hair is about 1/8 of an inch all the way around.

  i have to say, it was quite fun, almost enough to convince me to shave my own head just for the kick of watching 8 inches of hair fall onto the patio. almost, but not quite. if there are any guys out there who want their head shaved, please let me know and i would be happy to oblige.

  i have recently developed this problem where some of my earrings are suicidal. yesterday one earring from a pair i bought in scotland jumped out of my ear and i didn't notice until i got in my car to go home. annoyed, i retraced my steps all the way back to my office and had almost given up when i remembered to check in the bathroom, and there it was, trying to hide amongst the cracks between tiles on the floor inside the stall. ha ha! i triumphed over the sneaky little bugger. i've had this problem with other pairs as well, so today i'm going to go to the craft store and buy french hook earring backs. that'll stifle their hara-kari plans.

  i've also decided that i am going to turn my little bathroom into a little darkroom. i am determined, and have started pricing equipment. i found what looks to be a good starter kit (enlarger, lens, film container, etc) for just under $400; there is also a guy on the swap shop selling a set of color darkroom supplies for $600.

  i miss feeling creative. some days i think nasa is wonderful, but some days i feel as if it is sucking away my soul. these days i feel restless here. i'm sure it is because i have been here for long enough now to be getting ready to go back to school. i'm sure it is because my friends at stanford are starting up again. i'm sure the feeling will go away soon. i hope it will.

  (11:40 a.m.)

  from jim baker's column on epsn.com:

  Mr. Kent and Mr. Bonds

  Mr. Kent and Mr. Bonds:
  Monster hitting pitch gourmands.
  Of each other not so fond --
  Mr. Kent and Mr. Bonds.

  Mr. Bonds and Mr. Kent.
  To the cinema never went.
  Christmas cards are never sent
  'twixt Mr. Bonds and Mr. Kent.

  Mr. Bonds and Mr. Kent
  Fussing, feuding Giant gents
  But in the midst of such dissent
  Said Mr. Bonds of Mr. Kent:

  "Mr. Kent," said Mr. Bonds,
  "Must remain and not go yon.
  If he leaves, I shall despond,"
  Said of Kent that Mr. Bonds.

  cute. anyway. time to take jason to the airport; he's going to italy for a week.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 09.17.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, September 16, 2002

  the great scotland road trip, part 2

  so, to recap: becca and i were gone for 10 days visiting karen in scotland, and the only big things we missed in houston, as far as i can tell, were 1) the texans beat the cowboys and 2) a tanker of ammonia exploded at a chemical plant nearby. lovely.

  so i'm back at work and absolutely wide awake, feeling as if it is 3:30 in the afternoon. flying west is always easier than flying east. when we arrived in england, i spent the first day alternating between groggy attempts at figuring out where i was and periods of being zonked out in the backseat of karen's little purple car (henceforth known as the lpc). i swear, you could have made some wacked out music video if you could only have filmed the day through my eyes. black...hmm, random scottish hillside on the left, other lane of traffic on the right...black...oh, look at the sheep...black...can we stop at a moto, i need to pee!!...black...ooh, pretty rainbow...black

  but the trip was good. i'm thinking i'll just post some of my journal entries later, as that would be the easiest way to recap for those interested. in the meantime, highlights were:

  • flying on a kick-ass fancy 777 with individual tv screens and american airlines' generous seat spacing
  • seeing the concorde taking off as we rode away from heathrow on the bus after arriving in london
  • the intial freaking-out and trying to readjust all of karen's mirrors because the steering wheel was on the wrong side of the car
  • making it to the top of arthur's seat in edinburgh, despite having been soaked to the bone half an hour earlier in a sudden downpour
  • scones with jam and cream, mmm
  • cool piles of rock (i.e. castles, cathedrals, etc), especially those in st. andrews and stirling
  • riding ponies through the hills
  • stopping on "the road by the phone booth next to the sign that says 'cairn of get'" to climb down a random cliff-side staircase
  • riding bikes through splendid sunshine (and quite a stiff headwind) in the orkney islands
  • karen and i constantly teasing becca (to her credit, becca is quite a good sport)
  • discovering karen's new thursday night plans, a funny british tv show called "fat friends"
  • feeling conservative because we didn't drink enough, and being encouraged to drink more by karen of all people
  • seeing lots of sheep and hairy cows
  • being trapped and subsequently preached to by a (slightly disturbing) singing potter
  • listening to an elderly woman completely rag on americans for an hour on the bus ride back to heathrow
  • having lunch with nick in the airport before bidding him adieu on his way to france

  i've decided that the real point of working is not to get anything productive done, but simply to earn vacation time, and money to spend during those times. becca and i are already dreaming about our next trip. the ae mafia will likely fly again, next year...in greece. ;)

  (1:39 p.m.)

  this from an article in the new york times. i love it. love the shoes, love the hair, love it:

  In one spot, poignant music swells as a woman buys a new lamp and leaves the old one on the street in a driving rain. Suddenly, a man appears on screen. "Many of you feel bad for this lamp," the man says in a Swedish accent. "That is because you're crazy. It has no feelings, and the new one is much better." He walks off and the spot abruptly ends as "Unbing" and the Ikea logo appear.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 09.16.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, September 14, 2002

  the great scotland road trip

  hello from cranfield, a tiny country town that so happens to house karen's university. we have returned from what shall now be called "the great scotland road trip" and tomorrow, becca and i will head back to houston.

  i'll update on monday, and include pictures sometime soon.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 09.14.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, September 06, 2002

  the beginning of the scotland adventure

  well, three more hours until becca and i leave work to head to the airport. we leave houston at 2:00, arrive in chicago at 4:30, leave there at 6:00, and arrive in london at 8:00 a.m. (2 a.m. houston time) tomorrow morning. from there, we take a bus from heathrow to cranfield, meet up with karen, i get a quick tour of the cow pasture or cornfield or wherever it is that karen works (tee hee). a couple hours later, we hop in the little purple car and karen drives to edinburgh while becca and i crash, exhausted. for the next week, the three of us road trip around scotland and try to avoid arguments and other disasters. ;) becca and i return to houston at 9:00 p.m. on sunday the 15th.

   so that is the plan.

  (10:53 a.m.)

  with all this talk about tropical storm fay threatening the texas coast and the clouds beginning to gather ominously in the sky, i hope our flight to chicago gets away on time! i have this nagging feeling i'm forgetting to do something before i leave...how bad is that?!? agh!

  but i'm sure i have everything that's absolutely necessary. last night as i was on the phone to my mom i realized that i hadn't put my passport in my purse. now that would be interesting. "well, yes sir, i'm trying to go to scotland, yes, i do have a passport, no, i forgot to bring it with me..." ha. it's weird that i almost forgot it to begin with, because i love it so much. you know, with its pretty stamps and such.

  anyway. this page likely won't be updated for the next week and a half. i may be able to check email once at the beginning of the trip and once at the end (when we're in cranfield), but i think the purpose of that will be only to let my worrying parents know that i'm still alive.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 09.06.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, September 05, 2002

  baseball and cooking

  "Why are you here?" general manager Billy Beane, all smiles and one-liners, asked several members of the media before the game. "The Giants have won 12 of their last 15."

  The Giants? Who are the Giants?

  During the streak, Bay Area residents tied to the Giants have come unstrung.

  Suddenly, they are two-timers, hopelessly smitten with the A's.

  there are probably those who will say that the oakland a's are the current bandwagon in sports, and i have to agree. but come on. 20 wins, the most recent in spectacular fashion. you gotta love them.

  this morning becca writes: "Last night Sarah and I went to Gavin's and made quesadillas. It makes me laugh how Sarah complains about how clueless she is about cooking, but then succeeds at it anyway. Actually, she's not that clueless, she just lacks confidence. But its funny none-the-less. Ok, maybe she is a little clueless, but she'll figure it out."

  lacking cooking confidence is probably an accurate diagnosis. i don't worry about anything when i cook for myself because i'm not a picky eater and because any stupid things i do are just between me and my kitchen. but when i cook for other people, i don't want to end up making something gross!

  anyway. i'm on a break from class and am already late getting back. off i go.

  (5:57 p.m.)

  i'm still at work, and i'm hungry. just finished updating the group webpage to comply with some nasa requirements. (i don't know if our group page is viewable outside jsc or not, but i linked to it.) the requirements were sort of silly, but oh well, it had to be done. when i get back from scotland, i'm planning on revamping the entire group page for two reasons. one, there is nothing useful on there for anyone who is actually in the group. two, i think it is really hideously ugly.

  on tap for tonight: packing, a quick trip to the drugstore, eating the last of the perishables in my fridge. sleeping. ahhhhh.

  these past few days i have been very boring, in writing and in life. ugh.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 09.05.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, September 04, 2002

  crack of dawn

  i'm in early, both to earn extra hours in preparation for scotland next week, and because i have work to do, and because i'm supposed to be in class all day, 8-4:30. "fundamentals of orbital mechanics." some of it i'll already know. maybe a lot of it. we'll see. somehow, whenever i sign up for classes, by the time they roll around i am swamped with things to do, and this time is no different. it's like clockwork--sarah has to take a class? oh, but she has a lot to do! {stressssssss}

  i'll probably be here until 7 tonight, although we'll see. the air handlers are still not working in my building, and it is stuffy in here. but the work must get done. i have a deadline.

  pictures from the weekend visit to atlanta are posted here for those who are interested.

  (12:42 p.m.)

  class this morning was sort of dull, and not helped by the fact that i am sleepy to begin with. the instructor hasn't told me anything yet that i don't already know, which is disappointing. i hope this afternoon will be better.

  i realize now that though i enjoy taking classes sometimes, the extent of my enjoyment is very dependent on the length of the class. three days a week for an hour each day is something i can deal with. being in the same class for an entire day is more difficult.

  i am still feeling down today and can't explain why. i'm sure it has something to do with fatigue, and with the continuing gray weather. after two weeks of activity with good friends, i feel lonely now.

  (10:25 p.m.)

  i accidentally read an old email that i had forgotten about. i wish i hadn't read it.

  i had dinner tonight with gavin and becca, which was fun. it turns out that after some coaching, i knew how to make some pretty good veggie quesadillas! and i watched becca make guacamole in hopes of being able to do it myself someday. hee. i really should take a cooking class.

  i find that my biggest problem with cooking is that i don't have any idea how long various foods last, fruits and vegetables in particular. cooking for one is hard enough, but when you add in the fact that half the time i don't know if something has gone bad or not, it can just be annoying. i need someone to make me a list of fruits, vegetables, meats, and some dairy and how long each of them will last and how they should be stored to make them last longer and how to tell that they've gone bad if they exhibit no outward appearance or odor of having gone so. bad, that is.

  is anyone else confused? i need cooking help!

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 09.04.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, September 03, 2002

  100-meter airport dash

  whee. this morning i got to do the mad dash through the airport to catch my flight because i'm stupid and didn't get to the airport soon enough. i also didn't print out my itinerary, so not only did i have to wait at security, but i also had to wait at the ticket counter to get a ticket, even though i wasn't checking baggage. i got in line at 7:40, had my ticket at 7:55, got through security at 8:12, got off the train at the c terminal at 8:19, and ran halfway down the concourse to gate 10 to catch my 8:20 flight back to houston. i boarded the plane gasping for breath, drawing both amused laughter and annoyed glares from all the other passengers already on board.

  but i made it. and got to work just after 10:00 as planned. whew. though i knew there was nothing i could do if i missed my flight and was therefore not extremely frantic, i still really wanted to make it, so i was happy.

  i returned to overcast skies and a strangely quiet office. the day has felt very weird. i think it's some combination of the experience of rushing through the airport, combined with the gray weather both here and in atlanta, and with my droopy sleepy eyes, and with having to leave atlanta again.

  macon was a lot of fun, a lot of good food, a lot of croquet, and a lot of trivial pursuit questions that no one knew the answer to (and some miraculous guesses).

  i don't miss georgia tech anymore. the campus, the sights, the sounds...they don't do it for me anymore. but i miss the people so much. after seeing carter almost every day for two weeks, i am sad that i can't see him more often. and christina, and kent, and chris. james, chrissy, daniel. my incredible sister.

  i am so happy with my life these days. i feel like i am in a good situation, one where i can finally sit back and relax and just be...me. be sarah. i think i've escaped most of the pressures that i used to feel, the ones that told me to be what i thought everyone else wanted me to be instead of being true to myself.

  but i still miss my friends, the ones that don't live near me. but it is good to have weekends like this one, where i can reconnect and laugh and smile and be so happy with simple things like swimming and croquet and painting fingernails. it makes me cringe to hear people say things like "so-and-so will move away, and then i will have lost a friend." you don't lose friends when they move. if i can only remember one thing, i want it to be that. i refuse to believe that i will ever lose close friends simply by moving.

  being back in houston has me worried about facing a friend who i angered. and whose reaction frightened me. more worrisome is the fact that i don't want to face the person at all; i want to let them slip away.

  disjointed thoughts. but good ones are in there somewhere.

  (7:26 p.m.)

  today has just been confusing and sad. i hope tomorrow is better.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 09.03.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, September 01, 2002

  dreamland

  the a's won their 17th straight. what a great little team.

  the time between sleeping and waking always gives me the most interesting dreams. today katie woke me at 10:00 to tell me she was going to church. i said goodbye, rolled over to sleep, and for the next hour i flew through some strange dreamland of spiderman, michael jackson, that girl (not michelle yeoh) from "crouching tiger hidden dragon" and me being a movie star.

  september 1. i wonder where august went.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 09.01.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, August 31, 2002

  city to city she goes

  i'm sitting in my sister's room in ulc, a dorm that i lived in three different times when i was a student. it only feels strange when i stop to think about where i am, and remember that this morning i was in my own apartment in houston. sometime in my first few years of college, i developed an uncanny ability to almost instantly adjust to being, well, wherever i am. it is an especially pronounced phenomenon when i visit a familiar place, like atlanta, like georgia tech. i forget to remember that i ever left.

  the football game was fun, and georgia tech thoroughly beat vanderbilt, 45-3. it was great to see alex and iffy and the old harris crowd; i really miss them sometimes. with them, there is never a dull moment, and at the end of the day my stomach always aches from laughing so hard. they spoke of coming to houston some weekend, and then meeting up with leila and brian to just have a grand old time. i'll look forward to that, whenever it may happen.

  weird. sitting here in katie's room, i suddenly feel reminiscent of having a dorm room. in fact, i almost miss it. cramming all my things into a tiny space, feeling comfy and cozy and closed in, surrounded by everything you feel is important. almost miss it.

  i love my apartment.

  i had an argument with a friend last night that is still bothering me.

  tomorrow i head south to macon for the third annual chris baucom labor day bash.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 08.31.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, August 30, 2002

  suck it, baseball

  i am looking for someone that wants the job of making sure my alarm clock is turned on each night, so that i don't wake up at 9:27 and go "crap, i'm supposed to be at work!" like i did this morning. it would help if that someone was a sexy guy.

  so i came to work hoping hoping hoping that i could pull up espn.com and see the headline "baseball strike averted" but so far i've had no such luck. carter called last night after he heard on the news that negotiations had stopped for the night, and he was sad. i, on the other hand, am angry. baseball owes it to their fans--their customers--to come up with a deal in the next few hours. baseball owes it to me, because i am a loyal fan, and i am their customer. i don't go on strike because i think nasa doesn't pay me enough. i don't go on strike when sales tax rises, or i have to pay more in taxes than i thought i would. i know it's not a directly comparable situation, but if i work hard every day to please my customers, why don't they? why are they allowed to just quit when they feel like it? and why are owners allowed to go screwing with way things are run?

  i don't think one side is to blame any more than the other. the players and the owners and the commissioner are equally responsible for all this confusion, and for what looks to be an inevitable strike. i didn't think i'd be able to stay away from baseball for a year, but today i am suddenly angry. i am thinking of adopting carter's stance--no baseball for a year after they come back. if they strike, i'll wait until they come back to play, and then i'll wait another whole year before i set foot in a major league park again.

  because while they're screwing themselves over, they're also screwing me. they're taking me--a serious baseball fan--and turning me against them. they've talked for so much the past two weeks about how close they were getting to a deal. and i believed them, all this month i've held out hope that a strike would be averted. and now they're trampling on me! suck it, baseball.

  {sigh} grrrr. anyway, here are some random pictures of lance bass in training here this week.

  last night we had a surprise going-away party for nick and it worked beautifully. he didn't suspect a thing, in fact, he had been planning his own party for last night, not knowing we had been planning for 2 weeks to throw him the surprise party. i got him out to the pool and everyone was hiding around the corner. when they heard him coming they all jumped out and blew noisemakers. the look on nick's face was priceless! everyone was there, even people who had come up with a bogus excuse for why they couldn't come to nick's party. it took a minute for nick to figure out that curt and lisa didn't really have a late sim at work, and that he wasn't going to be hosting his own party, but once he did, he couldn't stop smiling for at least half an hour. :) we swam in the pool, ordered pizza, and eventually moved to my apartment when the mosquitos started to get bad.

  it was great. it has been a fantastic week with so many visitors and activities, and it doesn't end yet! tomorrow i'm headed to atlanta for three days, and labor day in macon for the third year in a row.

  (10:52 a.m.)

  from the new york times: "Mr. Bass, 23, would be the youngest and presumably most squeal-inducing person to travel into space, as a guest of Russia on a Soyuz flight to the International Space Station in October."

  (11:04 a.m.)

  no baseball strike! i am sooooo relieved. still pissed that they dragged me with them to the last minute, but happy that the players and owners at least realize that striking again would do irreparable damage to the game itself. yay.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 08.30.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, August 29, 2002

  250 million dollar man

  this morning on the way to work, npr had this great story about ernie harwell, the retiring radio announcer for the detroit tigers.

  the trip to dallas/arlington for the baseball game was awesome. the park was beautiful, the weather was great, and the seats....oh, the seats! see, carter and i went to the game with my friend jason, whose friend monica lives in dallas. as luck would have it, monica's dad works for a company that has season tickets located in section 34, row 4--the first row behind the camera well at the end of the rangers dugout!!!! i have never had seats that good at a baseball game, and i doubt i ever will again. they were just incredible. we were sitting no more than 10 feet away from edge of the field!! we even got on the matrix board, not once but twice! i've always wanted to be on the matrix board, but never have, and in one night--twice! it was sooooooooo cool. here are some of the best pictures that i took:

  
  a-rod stands at 1st base next to jeff conine after drawing a walk

  
  a-rod gets ready to run in the case that palmiero (at-bat) gets a hit

  
  a-rod hits a home run later in the game and goes into the trot from 1st to 2nd

  
  a-rod at the plate

  
  ivan rodriguez steps in to bat

  it was a fantastic night.

  anyway. carter left yesterday and arrived home safely; he did indeed make the earlier flight on standby. we got to the airport early enough that i stayed with him for an hour playing cards while he waited. we tested a two-person version of hearts that gave us some laughs--we dealt four hands, but only played with two, so you could never be sure what the other person had, or if the queen of spades was out there at all...and i think it was actually easier to shoot the moon than not. and yet the number of points in each hand could change since there were two hands just lying on the table, so one time i shot and carter got 19 points but one time i shot and he only got 5. it was odd, but entertaining.

  last night i rode with nick up to intercontinental to pick up susan, who was able to get an extended layover in houston on her way to a wedding in dallas. we went out to dinner at joe's crab shack in kemah. it is great to see susan, it was like we haven't been apart for two months. i want to go back to stanford!!

  (10:44 a.m.)

  leila has a funny entry about the john mayer concert and our trip to austin last weekend. :)

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 08.29.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, August 28, 2002

  visitors and visiting

  when my life is suddenly filled with visitors, i am happy and constantly smiling. within a day, it's like the person is always there, and i forget that soon they will have to leave. when they leave, i always feel a little bit sad, a little bit lost. when christina left yesterday, and carter left today. i miss my friends, and i love it when they visit. it was a fantastic long weekend.

  (nick is almost here to get me to go get susan from the airport. another visitor! more later.)

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 08.28.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, August 27, 2002

  waking up with dinner and cards

  i got home from work yesterday feeling completely dead, but a group dinner at mediterraneano's and learning how to play 500 at chrissy's livened me up. i have really enjoyed the past few days, sleepiness and all. i'm going to be sad when christina leaves today. fortunately, i can't get too sad about carter leaving tomorrow because i'm going to atlanta for the weekend! :)

  so the game of 500 was fun, if confusing. i kept forgetting that a jack was higher than an ace in the trump suit, and that the jack of the corresponding color is also higher. and that the joker is whatever suit is trump. agh! but carter and i won handily despite my ineptitude because he was able to bid nolo and not win any tricks one hand. when he layed down a 10 and said "ha, that's my highest card," chrissy looked at him, said "seriously?" and when carter responded in the affirmative, she just threw down her remaining hand of 6 or 7 face cards. funny.

  today i'm working a half day, and then carter and i are driving up to dallas/arlington to meet jason and his friend monica for a rangers game. apparently monica (who i have never met) has gotten us tickets behind the rangers dugout, so i'm pretty excited. granted, i don't know exactly what "behind the rangers dugout" means, but people don't usually describe seats as "behind the dugout" unless they really are no more than 20 or so rows behind the dugout. we'll see. in any case, i want to see what a $250 million man (alex rodriguez) looks like in person. i figure he must have gold teeth or something.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 08.27.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, August 26, 2002

  weekend recap

  i want a kitten. uh oh.

  the weekend was good, though i'm paying for it at the moment with drooping eyes staring blankly at my code. i just can't stay up late like i used to. ah well. in the grand scheme of things, i suppose that's not really much of a problem. ;)

  friday night after work a dozen of us went out for mexican food and margaritas at chuy's. it was a good mixed group of georgia tech people and nasa people, and i enjoyed it. afterward the tech crowd came back to my apartment for scattergories and chatting. after they left, i stayed up too late talking to carter on my wonderful balcony. it was the first time i've really sat out there, and it made me excited for the cooler fall days ahead, when i can come home from work, pour myself a glass of wine, and sit on my balcony listening to relaxing music and watching the birds land near the water. of course on friday though, the company was nice. i've grown accustomed to seeing some of my friends only every few months, and i like the feeling of reconnecting. i like hanging out in groups, but often i don't get as much one-on-one time as i like.

  carter and i got up early on saturday and drove to austin to see leila and brian and john mayer. we had lunch at this awesome bbq place called the salt lick. leila and brian and i had gone there the last time i visited austin, and i suggested we take carter. he liked it. we spent the afternoon talking and napping in their new house, which is great. my favorite part is their enormous, open living room/dining room/kitchen area. i am a big fan of open space in houses and apartment.

  we went to see john mayer play on saturday night at this place called the backyard. it was a neat venue, and i really enjoyed the concert. not only was john mayer himself great, but i liked both the opening acts (guster and the john butler trio).

  yesterday we drove back to houston; unfortunately i got a speeding ticket. i was fairly annoyed with myself for it, but the good news is that i can take defensive driving and have it dismissed. despite the ticket delay (which really wasn't more than 5 minutes), we made it to enron field, i mean minute maid park, and met up with jason, chris and edgar to watch the astros play the reds. it was a pitchers duel--the game barely lasted 2 hours and the final result was a 1-0 victory for the astros. the only run was a lance berkman home run in the 1st inning.

  after the game we had ice cream at amy's, met christina and liz for fajitas at lupe tortillas on liz's side of town, then went swing dancing. i had really wanted to go because it was nick's last night before he heads to france. unfortunately, nick left 10 minutes after i got there to take tiffany home because she didn't feel good. i couldn't help but feel annoyed. {sigh} but i did get to dance with him once, and i also danced with jason, chris, james, and a random guy named ben who liked to periodically say "wooo!" while spinning me crazily.

  so that was my weekend. full of fun things.

  the technique's freshman issue is online this week. it's fun to skim through the pages and reminisce. the ol' paper looks good.

  i was just thinking that my life is good these days.

  (4:45 p.m.)

  ugh. i have this funky feeling in my stomach/throat/chest. some part of my body that i can't readily identify. it's weird. i can't determine whether it's caused by stress or just fatigue or something else. i feel very out of sorts.

  but jason's hooked us up with good seats for the rangers game tomorrow in arlington. i hope the feeling goes away.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 08.26.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, August 23, 2002

  seeing red

  i can't even think of anything to write at the moment because i am sooooo pissed off at reliant energy.

  i'll explain later when i'm not so annoyed. but carter got here safely and right on time last night. :) so did christina, although i won't see her until tonight.

  (1:03 p.m.)

  hola. i'm back and ready to do battle with reliant. if i could get the stanford bursar's office to bow to my demands, i can certainly tackle the energy company. hoo ha. i'm pumping myself up.

  i have two goals for the afternoon--dealing with reliant, and getting stk to work. after leaving rich a note that said "rich!! i have questions!! -you know who" i have been put onto his busy schedule. ;) i love harassing him about being so busy...it's all in fun. i swear he has this sixth sense that tells him when i'm about to come looking for him, and that's when he disappears into a meeting or something.

  this morning i was sitting on the couch waiting for nick to come pick me up (i left my car at home in case carter wants to borrow it) and i kept hearing this rushing sound, like waves crashing on a beach. i couldn't for the life of me figure out what it was until nick arrived and i walked out the front door and remembered...this is the weekend of the ballunar festival! dozens of hot air balloons were gliding through the air around my apartment complex and across the bayou. it was really beautiful! (the rushing sound i heard from my apartment was, of course, produced from the flame thingies they use to control altitude.) the top to nick's car was down as we drove to work, and i could barely control myself as i wiggled around in the seat taking pictures as we drove to work. the festival is actually held on the grounds of the space center, so even once we got on site the fun continued. balloons were landing by the side of the road, and there was even on in the middle of the parking lot where we always park.

  i'll post the 40 or so pictures i hastily took this morning in the next day or so. :)

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 08.23.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, August 22, 2002

  life before cell phones

  what did the world do before cell phones? i can't remember what life was like before i had one, but i must have spent a lot of time trying to track people down, sitting around, and waiting for something to happen. i can't believe i ever resisted getting one. now if only someone could solve the problem of losing the signal when you go into kroger...

  by the way, this page passed the 20,000 page view mark yesterday.

  last night i was oh-so productive. i went from work to home depot, where i finally bought the paint i need to redo the old sewing table mom gave me and a toolbox to keep all the tools currently scattered across my study. from there i went to bed, bath, and beyond for coat hangers and storage baskets. from there, to aaron brothers frames because they miscut a matte for me last week and i needed them to redo it. from there, home for a while, and then out to the grocery store to restock my cabinets before my weekend visitors arrive. i love how the stores that i need to visit most often are clumped together here in clear lake; home depot to bb&b to aaron's is a mile, at max.

  hmm, i forgot to ask rich if he's brought in a picture of him back in his hair band days.

  i'm sleepy this morning. more later, maybe.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 08.22.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, August 21, 2002

  memories as thick as thieves

  lesson for the day: people are dumb. even people who work for nasa. to understand why is too silly to explain here, but if you are really curious about today's specific reason why people are dumb, you can just go read this series of emails that i have gotten over the past two days. it's a bit long, but you might get a good laugh out of the absurdity.

  last night was the division's 3 sigma suds party. the 3 sigma suds are bottles of beer brewed by a couple of guys who are higher up in the division. it was actually pretty good for home-brewed beer, and i don't even like beer that much. but the party was also fun. it started at 4:30 and i was there until the last people left at 9:30. we were just hanging out and talking (and slapping the west nile-carrying mosquitos off) and having a good time. it was neat to see everyone "outside" of work.

  after i got home last night i unpacked the last of my boxes and discovered what i'd forgotten that i had. my high school treasures have reappeared! tons of photos, letters, notes written in class. a scrapbook with newspaper clippings, cartoons, certificates. a video of the marching band's show from my senior year. i popped the tape into the vcr and sat down to watch.

  i don't know if this is something that everyone does or if it can simply be chalked up to my quirkiness, but when i think back to my last year of high school, there is always a single day that sticks out in my memory. as luck would have it, part of that day is recorded on the marching band tape that i found last night.

  it was a saturday in october, 1995. we had all met at the band room early that morning and climbed on buses that took us to chapel hill--to unc--for our last band competition of the year. we were going to be performing on the field at kenan stadium, the huge football stadium where the tarheels play. (i guess they must have been out of town that saturday if we were able to use their field.) the video shows us marching onto the field to the tap of the snare. it shows leslie calling us to attention, it records our responding shout. we play our whole show, the music dips and swells. moments from the end of the show, just as we form into a long line and begin to march forward, the sun breaks through the clouds and lights the field. the sun coming out matches perfectly with the music; it's as if we planned it. i sat there on my couch last night watching this scene of my life from 7 (has it been that long?) years ago, and although it may make me sound like a sentimental sap to say this, i got chills. just watching the video, i got chills.

  of course the video doesn't show the rest of that day. the bus ride, the laughter. changing into our uniforms, the warmup to marching onto the field, or what happened after we marched off it. it doesn't show the group of seniors in the stands later that night, as the awards were announced. we didn't win overall because our band was too small to compete with the 300-member bands from larger high schools, but we won our division. it doesn't show us smiling, hugging, and then crying because it was our last marching competition, because we knew we wouldn't be back next year to repeat our win, because we knew we'd be scattering as we started college. i know that marching band is considered by most to be a high school activity left to the weidos and band nerds, but i loved every minute of it. i hadn't expected to cry that night, but i should have known better. i knew i would be sad to see it end.

  later that night, i met up my family. i wasn't going back to charlotte with the band that night, instead, i was going with my family to see my grandmother who lived in chapel hill. but i was with the band to get my things, and help clean up. as we were loading the bus in the floodlight-lit parking lot, the braves won the world series. i didn't get to watch the game, a glavine masterpiece. but i heard the final out live in the parking lot with my sister on her walkman. we cheered, the band buses pulled away, and we drove back to grandmother's to watch the post-game celebration on tv. i stayed up late with the lights off and tv glowing as the champagne flowed in atlanta.

  i always say i didn't like high school. but it had its moments.

  (12:37 p.m.)

  tech is getting a new basketball player from...sweden. yay.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 08.21.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, August 20, 2002

  "dude, i'm from new jersey"

  so nick gets this email from another rotary club scholarship person currently in france asking whether he's coming to some welcome weekend. the note is written in english. because the guy's last name is levin, and because the original note sounds sort of like a french person writing in english, nick responds in french. he then receives this:

  Nicholas,

  Dude. I am from New Jersey. However, if you want to write me in French, feel free. The number on this email is my cell phone. Since there is a 9 hour difference you can call me from either 9am-Noon your time or from midnight on your time.

  Looking forward to chatting
  Amicalement
  Jason

  i can't explain why this had me laughing for at least 5 minutes straight except to say that the guy says "dude" and is, out of all the places he could possibly name, from new jersey. that's comedy.

  on sunday night i remarked to eric about the bugs in my apartment, saying that i've had ants and seen a few spiders and a random insect here and there, but never any of the little lizards that swarm around my front door every night. well, of course that meant that a day and a half later--this morning as i finished brushing my teeth--i was surprised by a two-inch long translucent baby lizard crawling across my carpet. i couldn't figure out how i was supposed to smush a lizard without creating a mess. also, the thought of smushing him made me think of bubba, my cute pet lizard from 5th to 8th grade, and that made me sympathetic. i couldn't smush him! so i trapped him under a cup, slid a magazine underneath, and deposited him about twenty feet from my front door. he scampered off, probably on his way back to my apartment, but oh well.

  last night i was so productive and got a lot of cleaning done. there now are no more boxes left in my living room, and only four left in my study! i have a not-insignificant amount of papers and things that i need to organize and file away, but at least they are in neat and manageable stacks. (i know i am going to get hassled for that by someone.) anyway, i also worked out. i also baked banana bread. look at me, i'm a normal person!

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 08.20.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, August 19, 2002

  orkney!

  ah yes, this is why living in houston is always, um, "an adventure." oil tankers burning in the ship channel. lovely.

  "the world is a book, and those who stay at home read only one page." yesterday i went over to becca's to plan for our upcoming trip to scotland. we called karen and talked to her as well, and we ended up with two potential itineraries. one includes the orkney islands (see them all the way up at the top?), one doesn't. the question now is one of weather, and of karen's stamina behind the wheel of her car. :)

  

  basically, we want to go to the orkney islands because they're off the beaten path, because they have europe's best-preserved prehistoric village (how cool is that), and because the landscape is supposed to be spectacular. the only other thing i want to do in scotland is visit edinburgh, and climb a mountain. becca and i wanted to climb ben nevis, the highest mountain in scotland (1343m, ~4400 ft), but karen has vetoed that already. :( fortunately, it appears that there are many, many mountains elsewhere that we can climb. the cairngorms boast that they have arctic tundra. arctic tundra! cooooool.

  while surfing for scotland info, i couldn't resist looking at lonely planet's intro page about sweden:

  The country that brought you IKEA, Greta Garbo and Absolut Vodka can almost be forgiven for letting the smorgasbord, the Volvo (driver) and all those zinc-creamed tennis fans out (but not Roxette, no, never Roxette). Since the devaluation of the Swedish crown, Sweden has become quite affordable; at any rate, the simple joys of fresh air, landscape and culture are among the least extravagant and most rewarding of pleasures available to visitors. Stockholm, the country's capital, is a progressive city, though there are pockets which have a village feel (if you don't focus too much on the sleek, ubiquitous IKEA chairs). Once you get out of town, Sweden's starkly beautiful forests and giant lakes lend themselves perfectly to outdoor activities from iceskating to moose-spotting.

  {sigh} how could anyone not love sweden??

  anyway. eric and jane (and debbie too, since she lives next door and all) came down to my apartment for dinner last night cooked by my personal chef, aka nick. ;) it was incentive to do a little more cleaning (i have until thursday to get everything straightened!), and it is always fun to have people over. eric and jane are both really cool; i'm glad i got to meet them this summer. we had to end the evening early because nick and i were meeting the group to go swing dancing, which was unfortunate. we probably could have sat around talking for another hour. ah well.

  i overslept this morning. not by too much, but still. i remember hitting my snooze button at 6:45, and the next thing i knew it was 8:05. i looked at the clock and didn't totally comprehend the time, because i flopped my head back onto my pillow...then a moment later i realized that 8:05 was well past the time i usually get up. so i jumped out of bed and got to work an hour ago. i had been planning to work 9 hours at least three days this week to save up some credit hours, and i've already screwed it up for today because i don't want to stay until 6:30! oh well.

  i must go running tonight.

  (11:04 a.m.)

  jen has dubbed me "the great originator of the on-line diary," a title of which i am pathetically proud. let me count the people i have introduced to diaryland: karen, becca, james, jen,katie, leila, and carter (though his didn't last). also, indirectly, i think i can take part of the credit for jen's john, and now john's friend tommy. hee.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 08.19.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, August 18, 2002

  two left feet

  i miss dancing, of all kinds. jammix. class. three days a week. to stupid songs in emily's room. in sketchy san francisco clubs. with too much alcohol in me. with not enough alcohol in me. in my room in the mornings. with susan in the hallway of cromem. on the shores of the pamlico sound. viennese ball.

  we went to the melody club tonight. i'm not a fan of the place itself, mainly because of the clientele. but i got to dance, lindy, 6-count, with nick, a good lead.

  yeah. i miss dancing.

  lisa, debbie and i want to buy darrin's dance grooves, as seen on tv(!), and become hip hop queens.

  i need to spend more time at the pool. i need a tan. i need to run, and lose this belly.

  i need to go to bed.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 08.18.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, August 17, 2002

  lovely august days

  i love lazy saturdays that become filled with spontaneous activity. days like today.

  i woke up at noon to a call from nick telling me he and tiffany were on their way over to join debbie and me for a swim in the pool. they arrived an hour and a half later with lunch from kroger. we quickly ate, and then headed to the pool for an hour. the water felt great; it was just the right temperature, and the sun was shining brightly.

  after swimming, we all piled into the convertible for a trip to best buy, since nick wanted to look at cameras. after a few impulse buys, it was off to the music store for debbie to search for a xylophone. since the music store was next to the mall, we of course had to stop at the food court for some ice cream. which obviously led to a plan to go to the cheesecake factory for dinner! after making some calls, we had a group of a nice round dozen people to head up to the galleria for cheeeeeeeesecake. num num num.

  i can't quite put into words how much i like days like today... but on some days, everything just seems to fall into place. one activity rolls effortlessly into another and the laughs come in waves. you're with good friends and blanketed in good conversation. and things feel right with the world.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 08.17.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, August 16, 2002

  surf's up

  the braves-giants game last night officially ended in a tie after it starting pouring rain in the 10th inning in atlanta. they will leave it at that unless it affects the playoffs, in which case they'll replay the entire thing. weird.

  last night i braved the deluge and flood and went to sherlock's to play trivia with three other people from my division. as a side note, this trivia contest is one of many events in the "space games," something my division and its counterpart at united space alliance do every summer. anyway, last night was a little strange--me the 24-year-old new hire, them the 45-year-old parents that graduated from high school around the time i was born--but i had a pretty good time nonetheless. if they'd asked any questions from the 80s or 90s, i really would have been an asset to the team. instead, the trivia questions were either stupidly easy (does anyone expect a group of engineers to not know what the circumference of a circle is?) or about things i'm too young to remember (why was 9/25/1966 known as "black sunday" to movie theater owners? and who shot j.r.?). i left soon after we turned in our final answer, not waiting around to find out how many we got right. it turns out that my team won! i came in to work this morning and chuck had put my prize on my chair--a jim beam t-shirt. i laughed out loud. becca said it's a classic, that i should wear it to work. hmm. work out maybe.

  the bayou behind my house was more full than normal last night. i had been curious to see how high it would get with all the rain, but not worried, since my apartment is on the second floor. ;) anyway, it was probably a foot or two higher than normal--enough to be very noticeable, but still a long way from overflowing. i can't imagine what it must have been like when tropical storm allison came through and filled it.

  {sigh} such excitement. whee!

  so i know this will make me sound like a ditzy girl, but i have this strong desire to go see the movie "blue crush." not for the plot line, which i think is given away in its entirety in the previews, but for the surfing. i've read a couple reviews that say the camerawork in the film is just fantastic. people who can surf have always impressed me enormously, and the admiration only grew after i tried surfing myself and was royally bad at it.

  (12:36 p.m.)

  james updates his diary in spurts, so some days there is nothing to read, but some days a week's worth of entries suddenly appears. sometimes i get mentioned. i am always surprised when i get mentioned. somewhat flattered. shocked to get a compliment.

  last night carter said i am one of the healthiest, most active females he knows. i told him in that case, he needs to meet more females. the healthy, active females that i know don't have fat bellies. and i do.

  oh! here is a picture of everyone in my group that is 30 or under. (that basically means that we were taking pictures for no particular reason, and just didn't bother to gather ray, gil, and doug. besides, we're not allowed to put a group picture on our webpage so there's not much point in taking one.) anyway, it's gavin, george, ryan (our departing co-op) and rich in the back, becca, matt, and me in the front. enjoy.

  

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 08.16.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, August 15, 2002

  i vant to suck your blood

  if this is successful and a hooters airline is created, i think i might just quit my job and bang my head against a wall all day.

  so yesterday i finally gave blood, for only the second time in my life. see, the first time, four years ago, was a horrible experience. it took forever, i almost passed out, my vein slowed to the point where they had to stick a needle in my other arm just to get enough blood for my donation to be useable, and i had to sit there for an hour before i could stand up without getting light-headed. so even though i know giving blood is a good thing and an easy way to help out someone in need, i've been more than a bit apprehensive about doing it again. i tried once last summer, but was so nervous that my pulse was too high for me to give.

  anyway, yesterday i went to try again, and i learned something quite important about my body. it does not like losing a pint of blood. i suppose this is not surprising, but how, then, do so many people give blood and then just hop up and walk out the door? anyway. i kept my pulse down enough to give, but the whole light-headed, almost fainting thing refused to disappear. almost immediately, i had to ask the nurse to put my feet up. my vein again slowed down at the end, but i managed to fill the bag out of only one arm, which good because she said they weren't allowed to do both arms (which makes me wonder about the jokers in georgia who stuck both my arms). and then i had to stay there for a good half hour after i was done, slowly going from legs up and lying down, to legs down and lying down, to sitting on the edge of the cot, and finally to standing up before i could get up and not get a wicked head rush.

  i suppose next time i'll just go in and tell them up front "look, you're going to have to put my feet up, and i'm going to have to sit here for a half hour once i'm done." then i won't have to feel too light-headed, and they won't have to worry about me.

  so that's my blood story for this month. la la la.

  i got some more cleaning done in my apartment last night...unpacked 5 boxes of books. i didn't realize just how many books i had stored at home! i mean, i don't have books in becca-like proportions (i.e. overflowing amounts), but i do have enough that i am having to put a double row on a couple of shelves. i have two full shelves of space-related books from high school and college, when i bought every book i saw that had anything to do with space. i have a lot more than i realized, and some that look really interesting but i've never read. so i think i have enough reading material to last me for at least a year. :)

  tonight i've been talked into playing trivia with some guys from work that i don't really know. nick told mark i'd be good at trivia. ha, no pressure now.

  (12:50 p.m.)

  it sucks having to get up in the morning when it's gray and raining outside. it sucks even more when you're coming back from lunch and it's still raining and you notice that the roads are starting to flood and the national weather service has issued multiple flood warnings. yeah.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 08.15.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, August 14, 2002

  making a list

  a lot of randomness today.

  1)the english patient. i'm not reading it, but i just found the quote somewhere and it sort of fits me. "she had always wanted words, she loved them, grew up on them. words gave her clarity, brought reason, shape. whereas i thought words bent emotions like sticks in water."

  2) the oakland a's. i consider them to be my favorite american league team because i lived in the area, they have great fans, and i like their indomitable spirit. from espn.com: "the a's like to think of themselves as 'the chihuahua that won't let go of your ankle.'" quote from gm billy beane. cracked me up, and made me love the a's even more.

  3) lance bass. all these articles about the will-he-or-won't-he go into space saga is starting to get old. make a decision and shell out the big bucks already, lance. sheesh. that said, i hope he goes. sure, i'll be jealous that a 23-year-old pop star gets to go into space before i do, but i think lance bass could bring more positive publicity to the space program it's seen in years.

  4) west nile virus. it's spreading from nighttime (culex) mosquitos to daytime (asian tiger) mosquitos. "unlike the culex mosquito, which is a dull brown, the aedes albopictus is dark, nearly black, with white marks on its legs. a single white stripe down its back can be seen with the naked eye, but parsons recommends that the curious slap first, and look later." knowing that i taste good to mosquitos, i figure i'm as good as dead.

  5) holiday in spain. i'm thinking of taking one. or more likely, it's my current obsessive song courtesy of the counting crows.

  anyway. last night i was a bum. really. i think step class sucked all the energy out of me, because i just went home and sat there for two hours surfing the internet and watching baseball. i didn't get up until nick came over about 8:30, at which point i made chicken stir fry that amazingly didn't taste that bad, which we then ate as we watched more baseball and talked about typical nick/sarah topics. we are an old married couple, and we're not even dating. it's very sad. ;)

  i had a glass of wine with dinner, and it made me sleepy. after nick left, i alternated talking to carter online and cleaning. i hung a picture and unpacked a box of books. wow. carter's right, i clean much better when i'm under pressure. hopefully this means that as the days remaining until carter and christina's visit dwindle, i will revert into all-out cleaning mode.

  (1:28 p.m.)

  i am in love with my old navy essential pants. i have them in black and gray, and feel the overwhelming need to go back and buy them in whatever other colors they may sell. this could be because they fit me really well, or it could be simply because old navy says that they are "essential." either way, they stand to make more money off me.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 08.14.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, August 13, 2002

  one step at a time

  whew. here it is, almost 5:00, and i'm just now updating for the day. believe me, there's a reason--from 8:00 until 3:45, i was stuck in STEP class. STEP, of course, as anyone would know, stands for "safety through everyone's participation" and is a day-long class where i sit on my bum as it gets more and more sore as the hours pass and i listen to people drone on and on about hazardous materials, preparing for hurricanes, and not standing on rolling chairs to reach things on high shelves. basically, a day where people lecture you on common sense. {sigh} i just sat there resisting the urge to scream "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I WORK AT A DESK ALL DAY!!!" i mean, seriously, the worst harm i could possibly cause to myself or any of my officemates is if i staple a finger or trip over my own two feet.

  anyway. i just kept telling myself that i was getting paid for doing nothing all day.

  this morning i woke up to a downpour. i think it must be the first morning i've woken up to a cloudy sky, as my apartment seemed unusually dark. i wished my garage was actually connected to my front door, but fortunately i have a large umbrella.

  yeah. there's really not much to say today. blah blah blah.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 08.13.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, August 12, 2002

  running on empty

  wow, i can't believe i'm back at work already. it feels like i spent the entire weekend at the ballpark. oh wait, i did spend the entire weekend at the ballpark! :)

  it was a nice way to spend a weekend, watching the braves win two of three, just as i'd hoped. the best of the three games by far was the first game on friday night--the thirteen inning marathon i described earlier. yesterday's game was fun for me because i got to see the braves hit just about every ball that came their way (chipper jones went 5-for-5, how cool is that?)...but i have to admit, any game that ends with a score of 13-3 isn't as much a game as it is a rout. oh well. at least it was my team doing the routing.

  yesterday i went to the game with a bunch of people from work. it was a lot of fun to see people out of the office environment. my boss brought his son, who is about to begin his freshman year at texas a&m, my boss from two summers ago brought his 2nd grader, and rich brought his pseudo-girlfriend. at some point today, becca and i are going to hound him for details about her. mwa ha ha. anyway, after the game we all went out for pizza. it was a good time.

  oh. becca got her half dome pictures developed finally, so i put up a couple of them here. a picture of me coming down the cables, her in front of nevada falls, and two of the rock itself.

  the exercise room was crowded this morning when i made my way over there for my third try at this whole morning workout thing. i had to use the sucky treadmill because the good one was taken. you wouldn't think one treadmill would be that different from another, but i've found that they are. or maybe i'm just picky. anyway. so i ran for 20 minutes, and headed home to shower and come to work.

  i need to figure out a way to run that i enjoy. 1) i'm not a fan of running in the morning because i never have enough energy to go for long; ideally i'd run for at least half an hour, but so far, my morning runs have stopped at either 20 minutes or 2 miles. 2) i don't really like treadmill running all that much either, compared to a road or trail or sidewalk.

  however, i'm semi-forced into doing both of those things. 1) if i don't run in the morning, that often means i won't run at all, since i usually have plans in the evening. 2) it's too damn hot to run outside unless i go running before 6 a.m. (yeah right) or after 10:00 p.m. (at which point i would be slightly worried for my safety).

  so i haven't figured out a solution yet. once fall arrives and the days cool down a bit, i'll be able to run outside. but even then, i don't live in an area that is especially suited for running. i'll be dodging traffic and running along curbs, unless i drive somewhere else. oh well. i will figure something out. in the meantime, i will just continue to miss the running heaven that is the stanford campus. :)

  so there's my running rant, just in case you'd missed me writing about boring exercise topics lately.

  i want to go swimming tonight. on saturday night after i got home from taking leila and brian back to their hotel, i decided to take a 1 a.m. walk around my apartment complex. the place is actually bigger than i thought, and i finally got a good look at the lap pool that's down at the other end of the complex from me. it's nice, and is actually a reasonable size for swimming laps--25 yards/meters. not sure which, i was just eyeballing. but the point is, you could actually be effective swimming laps there. i'll have to try it out. tonight i just want to sit in the pool though. maybe i'll see if nick wants to come over and hang out in the fancy pool.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 08.12.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, August 10, 2002

  take me out to the ballgame

  you know what? things are just going really well here in houston.

  well except for the fact that the braves lost to the astros today. last night we had the good fortune to see a great game (at least if you're a braves fan like me). down 5-2, the braves came back in the ninth as billy wagner blew the save. the game remained stuck at 5-5 until the top of the 13th inning, when gary sheffield finally smacked a solo homer. smoltz came on in the bottom of the 13th to record his 41st save, but not before causing some excitement that resulted in the final out being made on a great relay by furcal as craig biggio tried to make it to home plate. braves win, 6-5!

  today, however, was another story. the ball must have looked about the size of a grapefruit to the astros, because they were racking up hit after hit. the astros won, 8-5.

  the other great thing about today though was that i got to hang out with leila and brian all day. we met at the ballpark, watched the game, i laughed at them via cell phone as they got lost in the museum district. when they finally found their way, they checked into their hotel, ditched their other friends (who were off to bar-hop their way through houston), jumped in my car, and we headed down to my side of town (clear lake). we had dinner at saltgrass steakhouse, then came back to my apartment to hang out for a while. then i took them back to their hotel.

  now i'm quite sleepy, so it's to bed, and then the astros-braves series finale tomorrow at 1:35!

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 08.10.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, August 09, 2002

  i love baseball, but this is ridiculous

  baseball, babe...you know i love you dearly, and i won't ever give up on you, no matter how hard the world tries to tarnish you.

  but i'm sorry, this article just doesn't do it for me. to all you young players like jay gibbons (mentioned in the afore-mentioned article) who are making "only" $200,000 a year, i have this to say: suck it up and deal. if you insist on striking, so be it, that's your choice. there's nothing i can do to stop you. but i'm not going to ever feel sorry for you because you're losing a few months out of your 6-, 7- or 8-figure salaries. at minimum, you get $16500 every month. and you're complaining that if you miss a few months of salary, you'll be on your way to the poorhouse, eating from taco bell and giving up your baltimore apartment??

  give me a break! i'm a staff engineer working for the government and earning barely a fourth of your minimum salary. civil service is not the way to get rich, i know, but it's what i do anyway. with the money i make--a downright measly sum next to your riches--i can do the following things (and this is just what i can think of off the top of my head) in one month's time:

  • save/invest 15-20%
  • pay the rent on a very nice apartment
  • buy groceries
  • pay my phone, cell phone, electricity, dsl, cable, credit card, and car, health and renters insurance bills
  • keep my car well-maintained and full of gas
  • make a payment on my student loan
  • go out to eat 3-5 times a week
  • buy a coke every afternoon at work
  • see 4-5 movies
  • buy a couple new shirts, a skirt, and a pair of pants
  • pay the entry fee for two road races
  • buy a plane ticket (not every month, but a few times a year)
  • and between april and september/october, see 3 baseball games that pay your salary!!

  so forgive if i don't quite feel your pain, mr. baseball player.

  {sigh} anyway. despite that little rant, i'm looking forward to my weekend plans which involve a glorious three baseball games where i get to watch my braves play the astros. tonight i'm going with james, chrissy, liz, jason, and nacho--a mixed georgia tech/nasa group. tomorrow leila and brian are coming to town with their group for the game and other houston fun. then sunday is nasa day at the ballpark, and i'm going with becca, nick, rich, and a bunch of other people from our branch. i hope to see the braves win at least 2 of 3. :)

  last night i hung a new picture in my apartment, with much help from nick because it was in an awkward spot--on the stairwell wall, but high enough to be visible through the cutout in the living room wall. nick ended up having to stand on the ledge of the cutout and lean across the three-foot-wide staircase to get the nail into the wall, because it was too high to reach while standing on the stairs. but he did it! he is so helpful!

  also, i found a coffee table. hooray! after work yesterday i rushed a few exits south on i-45 to this sussan furniture place that had been recommended to me. it was rather sketchy looking on the outside, but inside it was ok. not very organized, but then again, it was a discount furniture store, not a showroom. anyway, i walked around and looked at all the coffee tables and finally spotted one that was perfect! upon closer inspection, i realized it was the exact same coffee table i'd seen wednesday night at star furniture--the one that was an insane $450. only at this sussan place, it was $229! still more than i wanted to spend, but hell, i bought it anyway. after looking at 4 different stores in person and another 3 stores online, finding nothing i liked at 5 of those stores and then picking out the same table at the other two, i figured i should just splurge and get it. so i did. i'll have it on monday. :)

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 08.09.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, August 08, 2002

  everybody only wants to discuss me, so that must mean i'm

  becca complained this morning that i don't update enough. i can only imagine that her comment was code for "you don't update early enough," because i do update every day. it's just not the first thing i do when i get to work. besides, today i am not giving becca anything that she wants because she got that eminem song stuck in my head. "it feels so empty without me." so sue me, the song amuses me to no end. i just don't like having it stuck in my head. anyway.

  i cannot believe how difficult it is to find a coffee table in this town! i couldn't find one at ikea, and last night i couldn't find one at roomstore or star furniture. actually, that's not entirely true--i did find one i liked at star furniture...only it was $450. no thank you. i really don't understand. my requirements are numerous, i'll admit, but not all that complicated. i want something:

  1. rectangular (not square)
  2. not too high (ikea's table was the perfect size, except it was like two feet tall)
  3. in a darker wood (to match what i already have)
  4. simple (meaning not ornate, which is officially referred to as a "contemporary" design i believe)
  5. reasonably priced (less than $150, ideally less than $100)

  i didn't think i would have such a problem finding something i liked that fit into all those categories, but apparently i am lacking in the furniture knowledge department. if anyone has a suggestion of where i could find something i like, please let me know.

  actually, when i got home last night i was looking through the ikea catalog and saw a coffee table that would be perfect, but i don't remember seeing it at their store. nor is it listed in their catalog...but it's picture is there! it's a mystery. i'm going to call today and just say "yeah, on page 74, do you have that coffee table, will you send me one??"

  i just realized that i'm becoming an old woman. agonizing about furniture. this is just lovely.

  i was going to go watch softball last night, but the games were rained out. as i was leaving work at 5:30, it was pouring down rain, my car was a good 1000 feet away across the road, and lucky me, i had no umbrella. nick, being the wonderful person that he is, volunteered to run to his car and then come pick me up and take me to my car. now let me explain--there are two parking lots for my building. one is out front and one is across the road, but because of reserved spaces and the fact that we don't get to work at 7 in the morning, parking across the road will actually get you closer to the building.

  so off nick went running into the rain to the lot across the road, because that's where we always park. so i watch him go, and then a moment later, i see him running back. about halfway back, he takes a left turn and runs through the other parking lot, the one next to the building. at this point i started laughing out loud and had to explain to the two guys staring at me strangely that nick forgot where he parked and was still running around in the rain. it was amusing, even he admitted so.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 08.08.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, August 07, 2002

  random stuff

  last night i subbed for kylie on a coed softball team. it was the first time i've played softball in a while, but it went quite well and was a lot of fun. i played three innings in the field (right center, where kylie usually plays i guess) and got one at-bat before a 10th team member showed up and i got benched because i was only a sub. oh well. but my at-bat was a success--i hit a bloop grounder toward third base, which turned into a double on a throwing error, and then two batters later i scored a run! i told the team (i know half the players on it already) that when the next season rolls around this fall, i'd like to join. fun fun.

  i'm also supposed to play soccer this fall, so that will be good too.

  i also went to ballet class with nick last night; well, not really to class but rather to a private lesson tiffany was giving him. i'm sorry, but i just don't think i'm meant to be a ballet dancer. i went because nick really wanted me to, and because he likes it so much and thought i would too...but i dunno. ballet involves so much balance and grace, and it's all about being very aware of your body and how you're holding your arm, or leg, or how straight and tall you are standing. i think to be a successful ballet dancer, you have to have a lot of confidence in your body. i don't have that (as much as i wish i did). i tried to follow what tiffany and nick were showing me, but i just looked like some fat idiot trying not to fall over. i think i will stick to social dancing.

  i came home yesterday to find a wasp in the early stages of building a nest in the corner of the doorframe of my front door. lovely. when the wasp flew off to find more building materials, i swatted its nest away and sprayed the area with ant spray, which i figured might either a) kill the wasp or b) really piss it off. i'm not sure which happened, but i haven't seen the wasp again, so i hope it was option a. otherwise there is a really angry wasp looking for me.

  yes. can you stand the excitement?

  so here is a shameless paragraph in which i actually address a specific person who i believe reads this diary. i usually try to avoid doing this. the thing is, jen has returned to the country after her 10 week stint abroad. and i can't find her email address. jen, i have info about trail races around stanford that i wanted to send you now that you are back. send me (sarah@nique.net) your email address!

  tonight i think i'm going to take it easy, go home, and clean. i have two and a half weeks to get my apartment straightened for real before christina and carter arrive. yes, carter has now decided to come to houston as well. both of them will be here the same weekend, as well as james. and of course chrissy and liz, since they already live in houston. i am already anticipating a fun-filled weekend filled with six flags, baseball games, and chilling by the pool at my luxurious palmas. in fact, the only thing i can think of that would make it better is if we could get kent and chris to come along as well.

  this morning i dragged my sleepy butt out of bed a half hour early (at 7:00 instead of the usual snooze-button-induced 7:30) and ran on the treadmill. boo yeah. go me.

  (4:16 p.m.)

  last night i went out to ride my bike for the first time since the movers brought it three weeks ago, and...they totally screwed up my bike!! the front brake has been jerked apart so that it is non-functional, the rear brake is out of alignment, the rear tire is completely flat. oh, and the little meter that showed me what gear i was in is totally ruined--the needle is broken, and the cable that connects the gear shift to the meter is broken as well. i was so mad! i don't know why i didn't check it out when they first brought it. regardless, i called the moving company and they are sending me a claim form so that i can get it fixed.

  matt just walked past and declared the new cherry coke can design to be "sexy."

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 08.07.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, August 06, 2002

  the ae mafia flies again

  it's official! becca and i are going to visit karen from september 6 until september 15. we fly from houston to london heathrow via chicago. from there, we'll take the train to cranfield, meet up with karen, and pile into the little purple car for a road trip into scotland. the only definite stops so far, i believe, are edinburgh and the orkney islands. but seeing as how those two are not exactly next to each other, there will be other stops along the way.

  last night my apartment hosted its first dinner party! i say my apartment hosted because, well, i wasn't the one doing the cooking, i was only the one offering the kitchen and eating space. nick came over after work and made a lebanese dish called majadarrah (sp?), salad, pasta, and even some chicken for those who didn't like majadarrah. becca, julia, debbie, curt, and sara all came over to eat, and it was great fun. i felt so adult-like. ;) i even had all the right pots and pans and dishes and everything, even though i don't really have enough places to everyone to sit. we just sat in the chairs i had and on the couch.

  i'm being paged for lunch.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 08.06.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, August 05, 2002

  the aliens are coming

  tonight my apartment will be hosting people for dinner for the first time. nick is making lebanese food. hooray! this means i have to get home from work quickly though, because even the living room is pretty much impassable at the moment.

  last night i laid out a bunch of posters along with the frames i bought yesterday, but haven't finished the project. one of the posters is just a hair too big for the frame, and i haven't figured out the best way to shave just a little bit off the side to make it fit. i'm thinking an exacto knife and a yardstick (or other long straight edge) will do the trick, but i have neither of these things. what would be ideal is a bigger version of the photograph cutter that i have that's like a paper cutter with a razorblade on a track. but i don't know if they make something like that. perhaps i could just take it back to the frame shop and have them do it. i don't want to mess up the poster. it's this really cool picture of the big sur coastline.

  someone in my building turned 40 today, and there are signs posted everywhere to embarass her. when i turn 40, i'm going to try to keep it a secret. i don't want to be embarassed by my coworkers. becca promised to tell everyone anyway, but then we realized that neither of us will likely be working here anymore when we turn 40. in fact, becca plans to be living in australia enjoying her retirement. retirement. at 40 years old. yes, she can dream.

  in other news, i am a big wuss. i just can't deal with even remotely scary movies. last night after i turned out my light and was lying in bed all alone in my dark apartment, i got scared that aliens were going to sneak up and get me. all because of mel gibson and his silly signs movie! argh.

  i forgot to mention that i did end up getting to see james and chrissy this past weekend--we had dinner at mamacita's last night. it was fun, even though chrissy is still not feeling too hot. she has some sort of upper respitory infection and had a horrible coughing attack. i hope she feels better soon. as we left the restaurant, we worked out plans to go see the braves play the astros on friday along with liz and some of my friends, so it's official--i'm going to all three games of the series! woohoo! friday with james, chrissy, liz, etc. saturday with leila, brian, etc. sunday with work people (it's nasa day at the ballpark). i've been telling people i'm going to see the braves, and they always correct me and say "don't you mean you're going to see the astros?" i guess it is houston and all...but the important thing to me is that i get to see the braves. :)

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 08.05.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, August 04, 2002

  errands and signs

  and another weekend ends too soon.

  this afternoon i ventured out into the traffic of tax-free weekend, but not to buy anything tax-free. ah well. i didn't need any new clothes or shoes. instead, i needed things like picture frames, a spatula, and index/recipe cards. i guess i should get used to shopping trips that wind up with me buying a completely random set of products, because every day, i think of some new little thing that i need for my apartment or most likely, my kitchen. i wonder how long it will be before i have "everything" that i need? that's a subjective term, of course, "everything."

  i found the pictures that steve took when we went surfing back in april. ah, california.

  i met up with jason this afternoon for a matinee showing of signs. it was ok. i'm not a fan of scary/suspenseful movies, so i didn't really like the whole aliens-overrunning-the-house segment. but the moral of the movie is a good one. the best summation of the film is pretty much what ron told me before i saw it--it's less of a movie about aliens, and more of a movie about faith.

  back to work tomorrow already, and i've made hardly any progress on cleaning the mess that masquerades as my study. {sigh} my goal is to have it done by the time christina comes to visit. that gives me three weeks.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 08.04.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, August 03, 2002

  a parade of meat

  the trip to dave and buster's last night was fun, but geez, i just can't stay out like i used to. by 11:30, i was starting to fade. by 12:30, we were on our way home and by 1:30, i was in my bed dead to the world. what happened to being able to stay up until the wee hours?!? i'm 24 years old and i just can't party anymore. i guess getting up at 7 every morning to go to work will do that to you.

  today we went to rodizio grill for lunch. it's a brazilian steakhouse, meaning there is a salad bar to eat from, and then servers just start coming around the restaurant with big hunks of meat on sticks--sirloin, pork, ham, roast, chicken, you name it. it was quite good, and i left thoroughly stuffed. becca invited me to come to the movies with her to see signs, but i declined. i sort of implied to jason that i'd go see the movie with him, and i could have called him today, but after the big lunch i just felt like hanging out in my apartment and not doing much. i am full and sleepy. actually, i am going to unpack some things though, so i won't be totally unproductive.

  james and chrissy didn't end up going to san antonio this weekend because chrissy isn't feeling great, so maybe i'll get to see them for lunch tomorrow or something. that'd be nice.

  yesterday i got the stub from my first paycheck that will be deposited on tuesday. it's only half a paycheck since i started work in the middle of a pay period, but the good news is that my salary is actually higher than i thought it was! not by any enormous amount, but not by a mere hundred bucks either. that was a nice surprise.

  i also got the stanford banner i ordered for my office. rich has his michigan flag, george has his texas flag, becca has ordered a georgia tech one that will be delivered soon (for us to share), and i got a stanford one. i love my group.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 08.03.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, August 02, 2002

  a typical morning at work

  my mornings at work follow a fairly set pattern. i arrive sometime between 8:30 and 9:00, and immediately turn on my computer. it boots up while i put my purse away and open my notebook to see what i have on my list of things to do for the day. i say hello to becca. i log on, open my email, and read any messages sent after i left work yesterday or before i got here today. if any replies are necessary, i write them.

  i am not a morning person, and it takes me some time to get going. after email, i read the news on five different sites. cnn gives me national news, the houston chronicle gives me local news (though i'm not a big fan of their website), and sfgate gives me a lot of interesting stories from the san francisco/stanford area. out of those three, sfgate (run by the san francisco chronicle) is my favorite. they always have neat stories, written in a slightly tongue-in-cheek or sarcastic style that i enjoy.

  (side note: i miss living on the san francisco peninsula!)

  i also check espn just in case i missed any baseball news the night before, and space daily because, well, my daily work involves space. finally, i update my fantasy baseball lineup and read becca, james, jen, karen, and leila's journals. sometime in catching up on the news, i go get coffee from george and rich's office, and say hello to them.

  this whole news-reading, coffee-drinking part of my morning lasts for about an hour, and then i work for a couple hours before it's time for lunch. we eat, we come back and work until around 2:00, at which point my whole group migrates en masse to the coke machine two floors down. this is a "group meeting" that we affectionately call the "coke break," and it is usually instigated by one of us walking from room to room jingling 60 cents in our hand.

  yes, my life at work is quite predictable. the exception is friday, when we all go wild and wear jeans to work. ooooh. if anyone was curious. ;)

  last night i got to see james for a half hour; i picked him up from the airport and drove him to chrissy's apartment, since she was up in the woodlands for some kind of training for her job at exxon. we were hoping to get some ice cream on the way home, but we got to the place 10 minutes after they closed, and even though the door was still open, they had already put the ice cream away. boo. it's this new place called goodie's, i believe. i haven't been there yet, but james said he and chrissy have both enjoyed the smoothies there. i'll have to check it out sometime. it already has one big thing going for it, in my opinion--the fact that they are open until 11:00 on weekdays, and midnight on weekends. as a general rule, i like anyplace that stays open late. some coffeehouses, denny's, the good ol' waffle house...

  (side note addendum: i miss california but i am already completed adjusted to being back in hosuton. driving to the airport felt extremely normal.)

  tonight a bunch of us are going to dave and buster's. this should be fun, as i've always wanted to check out this place but never been around when everyone else goes.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 08.02.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, August 01, 2002

  and bingo was his name-o

  sometimes i wonder how my friends put up with me. you see, unfortunately, i am pretty much a tit-for-tat kind of person. it's the way i grew up, the way my siblings and i treated each other. it's not that we don't like each other; in fact, we all get along very well. but all four of us (at varying levels of severity) definitely like to get our "revenge" if we feel attacked or hurt or even just annoyed.

  i have discovered in recent years that even though this mannerism is usually suppressible, it is hard to erase entirely. if you reach my breaking point (the location of which is difficult to pinpoint) or say something that hits one of my nerves, there is a chance that i will snap back at you with something sarcastic or biting or just plain mean before i think to hold my tongue. i feel like this makes me a spiteful person at times. i don't like it. but i am working on it.

  last night i did something that i can't quite qualify, except to say that it is a uniquely texas and redneck activity. i went to a bingo hall and played bingo. as in, i went with debbie and paul and debbie's sister and brother-in-law to a large barn-like stucture that was formerly a country western dance hall and has now been reincarnated with long tables full of strange-looking people who shell out big bucks on reams of bingo cards, and quietly sit listening to a caller annouce things like "b-15...b-one-five..." and then cover the square with ink from a bingo dauber (available in many colors). yes. and i am ashamed to say that it was actually fun, despite the fact that none of us won anything.

  today is george's birthday, so we all went out to lunch, and now suddenly it's almost coke break time. woohoo.

  rotary international says they won't let nick go to his school of choice in france because it is too close to paris. this makes me angry. but nick is writing them a letter to plead his case, and if anyone can get someone to change their mind despite their assurances that the decision is final, it's nick.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 08.01.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, July 31, 2002

  masterpieces from the past

  (i wrote all this on a shared blog site earlier today, but when i was done, i realized this is not really a blog, but rather a journal entry. so here it is, with a few additions.)

  last night i finally gathered my courage and attacked the mess of boxes and papers otherwise known as my study (or "nick's room" as he likes to call it). even since i moved in, that room has been like my own version of a basement. no one who lives in clear lake ever has an actual basement, i think because the water table is too high. it's really too bad. attics galore, but no basements.

  my house in charlotte has this chilly, dark, dank basement. you go down these wooden stairs and come out in a little room with a cement floor and brick walls. there's an old tool bench where my dad used to work, covered in cobwebs because it's been ages since he's done any sort of construction or building or fixing. the thing about our basement is that it's not really good for storage, but great for being a creepy, damp, mysterious place. the brick walls only go up about 5 feet, and then the basement opens up to where you can see all the way under the house, to the brick foundation itself. you can see the pillars that are holding the place up, and if you crawled up over the wall, you'd be covered in dirt. i haven't been down in the basement in a long time. our attic is the much more interesting place to explore if you're looking for treasures, for things you long ago stored away and have since forgotten about.

  anyway. i unpacked boxes and moved my new bookcases from the living room to their permanent positions in the study. when i was cleaning my stuff out of the attic in charlotte, i discovered that i don't really have many items from high school, which was a bit of a surprise. just a couple projects i did, and yearbooks. photos, of course, but i wasn't the obsessive picture snapper that i am now, so i really only have pictures from the touristy marching band trip each year. it's not hard to figure out the reason for my lack of high school memorabilia though. when i graduated and went to college, i had to not only pack the things i'd need at school, but everything else in my room as well, since my brothers were finally going to be able to have their own rooms. (we had three bedrooms for four kids; i was the first to leave, and hence the one to lose their room.) so when i graduated from high school, what i didn't pack got thrown away. so there's not much left.

  instead, the treasures i discovered last night came when i finally got around to looking through the two big portfolios i have of all the artwork i did when i was younger, and dreamed of growing up to be an artist. i found a pencil version of the self-portrait that my mom has hanging over the fireplace in charlotte. this really cool colored pencil drawing of a cat. a pen and ink rendition of peter rabbit. an acrylic painting of the ocean crashing over some rocks on the shore. tons of disney characters i drew on transparancies and then painted during the phase when i wanted to be a disney animator. the very first thing i ever did in art class--a watermelon fruit basket drawn when i was probably 6 or 7 years old.

  it is weird that my career aspirations shifted so suddenly from artist to engineer. but perhaps that explains why i loved making posters in high school, and doing layout for the nique, and why some days i still want to run away and do something creative.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 07.31.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, July 30, 2002

  a lovely "dinner party"

  ohhhhhhh. i'm currently being held captive by the demon known as the post-lunch coma. my eyes are drooping, i'm yawning, i want to crawl under my desk and take a nap.

  last night i finally got to meet the mysterious eric, a guy who has been reading my journal since february to see what nick is up to, since nick is a bad communicator. ;) eric and his wife jane live over by the rice campus, and invited nick and me to their place for dinner. it was great fun, and eric and jane were very cool people. the dinner they made was delicious, and we even had ice cream with fudge and cherries (and caramel and sprinkles if you so desired) for dessert! their place--the bottom floor of a duplex--was really nice as well, just the kind of place i'd like when i move out of an apartment and into a house. (two words: hardwood floors.)

  anyway, nick has invited them down to clear lake in a few weeks to return the favor by cooking them dinner at my apartment. yay! i am excited that my apartment is the default choice for hosting dinners. (becca also wants to cook at my apartment, and invite our whole group from work over.) it's also an incentive to finish unpacking all my crap.

  this morning becca cooperated long distance with karen, and came up with a $500 (including taxes) youth fare from houston to london for the second week of september. so it looks like becca and i will be heading over for an ae mafia road trip to scotland! how exciting. it means i will be putting off my trip to visit nick in france until later in the year, but going to england in september and france later made sense in multiple ways. the weather in england will be better the earlier we go...nick will be more familiar with france the later i go... i can't wait!

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 07.30.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, July 29, 2002

  i hate exceed

  so i forgot to update yesterday. oops. i guess i was just too excited about my big accomplishment for the day. yes, angels start your hallelujah chorus, because with some coaxing from yours truly, becca finally bought a couch!! hurrah!

  yesterday afternoon we went to ikea, and were met by jen and gavin, who had rented a u-haul for the weekend and were nice enough to stop by ikea on the way home to load up the things that wouldn't fit in my car. becca got a coffee table, end table, and bookcase in addition to the couch, and i bought a bookcase as well. i had hoped to find a coffee table, but i was rather disappointed in ikea's selection. (i know, i was distraught that for once, ikea didn't have what i was looking for.) the one coffee table that i liked didn't come in the right color to match my other furniture, and the ones that did come in the right color were oddly shaped--either too wide or too tall. i guess i will have to go elsewhere. maybe i'll have time this week...i am starting to get annoyed that i don't have a coffee table, and hence nowhere to leave all my papers and stuff except on the floor.

  after ikea, we all went back to becca's to help her move her couch up the stairs, and as payback she fixed us a lovely dinner of pasta and salad. now that she has a couch, i've decided to harass her about buying a floor lamp, because her apartment is quite dark.

  i also have decided that i like dogs in general, but am very picky about their behavior. apache has grown quite a lot since i last saw her in march, but she is still definitely a puppy, and hence not very trainable, despite becca's valiant attempts. i like her when she's not jumping up on me or trying to lick my face, but that only happens about 10% of the time. during the other 90%, apache is a ball of excitement and it's impossible to keep her still. oh well. silly dogs.

  meanwhile, this morning i have declared war on exceed. exceed is a program i need access to in order to log into the flight mechanics lab and do my work. exceed is being an uncooperative bastard. it won't run. grr.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 07.29.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, July 27, 2002

  i'm a clutz

  what a day.

  first, i had some old bananas and decided to make banana bread, but my oven (which i was planning to use for the first time) is mysteriously smoking. it smoked once, i turned it off, fanned out my kitchen, investigated. the thing is spic and span. not a drip of old food anywhere. there's nothing in there capable of burning. so i turn it on again and...more smoke. so now i have a pan of banana bread batter with no means of cooking it, and i have to call maintainance to figure out what's wrong with my smoking oven.

  second, i spilled nail polish on my carpet. dammit! i had no carpet cleaner, and my attempts to clean it with other types of household cleaner made it worse--something in the cleaner reacted with the green-tinted clear nail polish to turn the stain red. hey, i never said i was good at cleaning. so after more cursing, i had to run to kroger to get some specifically-for-carpets cleaner, come home, and soak the carpet. i got most of it out, but if you look closely, you can still see the stain. i guess i was asking for it when i moved into an apartment where 95% of the floor is carpeted and didn't immediately buy carpet cleaner. {sigh}

  i guess it's just not my day. but i know what will make it better: baseball. so off i go. jason and i are going to see the astros play the pirates. yay for baseball!

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 07.27.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, July 26, 2002

  textbooks crusaders

  well poop. i had just written a nice entry and somehow i hit a wrong button on the keyboard and it disappeared. here we go again.

  i wonder if i should get in the becca-like habit of updating first thing every morning when i get to work. i ended up doing it that way last summer when i first started on diaryland, but i think i prefer to update whenever i feel like it, and when i have something to say. though from the sound of some entries, it's apparent that sometimes i do indeed write when i have nothing to say. ;)

  anyway. can i just say that i love my officemates? i adore them. that is all.

  so i was listening to an interesting story on npr this morning as i drove to work, about the politics and religious beliefs that become embroiled in the process of choosing school textbooks each year. in states like texas, california, and florida, this is a huge deal to a lot of people. i never realized this before, but when i mentioned it to becca (who went to high school in palm beach county), she had plenty of stories about textbook battles, and said that it's not even unheard of for christian coalition members to move to florida and run for the school board in order to be able to affect textbook selections.

  some examples from the radio this morning were: a publishing company altered a photograph on the cover of an economics text, digitally adding loincloths to the statues in a picture of the facade of the new york stock exchange. protests against a history book because it contained one sentence about how in the 19th century, there were 50,000 prostitutes west of the mississippi. (i can't remember the stat exactly, but it was something along those lines, the objectionable part being the reference to prostitutes, i suppose.) protests against another text because it stated that karl marx was the most important socialist thinker in the world.

  i don't understand the big deal, especially when it comes to history--unlike math or science, history has always been and will always be a rather subjective discipline, subject to the biases of the historian. but who are we to nitpick every little thing that our children learn? isn't it better for them to get a well-rounded education, learn how to analyze and accept differing opinions, and then form their own ideas of their world?

  at the end of the report, the journalist asked the question that i thought was most indicative of the entire problem: in the end, how can the conservative textbook crusaders ensure that they're not simply replacing textbooks' perceived liberal bent with a conservative one? to me, that is the real danger. getting rid of one bias only to replace it with another.

  anyway. i don't think i expressed my thoughts on that issue very well, but at least it's something to ponder.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 07.26.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, July 25, 2002

  celebrity readings

  from moby's online journal:

  nasa is an utterly fascinating place, and the fact that the buildings look so anonymous almost make it more fascinating. you walk by a generic office-park looking building and you have no idea what's going on inside.

  it might be people doing administrative work, or it might be people figuring out ways in which humans can go to mars.

  i love celebrities that keep online journals. moby. wil wheaton. adam duritz. i'm sure there are more...

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 07.25.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, July 24, 2002

  i'm in love

  {happy sigh} i love my group. i love my mentor. i love talking to phil and christina and susan and carter. i love having dinner with nick and debbie. i love coming home to my lovely apartment and parking vic in my garage. i love watching sportscenter on my big tv. i love my squishy queen size bed. things are really good.

  yes, i love pretty much everything right now. in fact, the only thing i can think of that i don't love at the moment is the west nile virus, which is being spread by houston mosquitos. ha.

  i finally went to the grocery store tonight after having dinner at nick's house. i spent so much money. but it was to be expected, i guess. since i had absolutely nothing, i had to buy a lot of cooking staples--everything from flour and sugar to ketchup and mayonnaise. whew. i just told myself that this will be my largest grocery bill ever, and i hope that is true.

  tomorrow they're turning the power off in my office at 4:00 to install some new outlets or something. i don't understand why they have to do it during the workday, but i guess it means i'll have a totally legitimate reason to leave early, eh?

  weird. i just looked at my grocery receipt. i bought a bottle of wine, and underneath that entry on the receipt, it says "date of birth = fri oct 10, 1975." huh? i wonder what that is. is the cashier required to put in a date? if so, he obviously made up my birthday since he didn't ask to see my license. and in that case, he was off on my age by two and a half years in the wrong direction--older. did he think i am 26 going on 27? grr.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 07.24.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, July 23, 2002

  t is for tuesday

  working next to becca is quite a distraction, and not just for us. together, we distract the rest of our group. what can i say? we're good! ;)

  my first two days of work have been better than expected, seeing as how i expected pretty much nothing more than paperwork. there's been plenty of paper, to be sure, but there have been other fun things as well. yesterday my whole group went out to lunch to welcome me, which was a lot of fun. today i ran into jason finally, talked to bob, bothered my groupmates... i chose a health insurance plan (i know, i can hardly stand the excitement) and got my password reset for the flight mechanics lab. got access to the mcc. brought in my braves pennant for my wall, much to rich's dismay.

  so things are good.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 07.23.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, July 22, 2002

  bad news on my first day

  four people were arrested on saturday for stealing moon rocks from jsc, and three of them were co-ops. i know one of them. it was a disheartening announcement, especially coming today--my first day ever at jsc where i'm a full-time employee and not a co-op. tomorrow the co-ops have a mandatory meeting. nick has to go, of course. i wonder what they'll say. i can only hope these happenings won't affect the co-op program itself too much.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 07.22.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, July 21, 2002

  my last day out of the real world

  i start work tomorrow, but it doesn't feel like that. it still feels like vacation. like i'm here for a week's visit and am trying to see everyone i possibly can. like i'm going back to my real life soon. only...

  ...this is my real life now. and i'd be lying if i said i wasn't a little bit scared. there is a certain apathy towards being back in houston, a feeling that it is not the only thing that i could do, but only the most comfortable thing. i know what i am getting into here; i understand my job, know my way around town, and have many, many friends. it makes it easy, it makes moving here easy. this feels like another co-op tour, with the added bonus of living in a great apartment and buying nice things.

  i worry that i am too comfortable. maybe i should branch out, try to add new people to my life instead of depending only on the ones i already know. by september, nick will have gone to france. ron will be a full-time fiance because buzz will have moved here. i am glad to know that becca will still be here, and chrissy and others.

  i'd like to meet some new people. i'd like to meet a guy. i've never really dated, and that usually doesn't bother me, but lately i've been thinking it might be nice.

  by october, i think it will hit me. this isn't a co-op tour, and i won't be going back to school. that will be a strange feeling, i think.

  on another, slightly related topic...i had the best conversation with james yesterday as we sat by the pool after chrissy and liz had gone inside to shower. it's funny, because james has always sort of been someone else's friend. i mean that in the sense that, well, rarely have we actively sought out each other's company; it's always that we both end up in the same group. and yet i feel like james understands me better than most.

  i always enjoy talking to him, especially when we go past formalities and start discussing "deeper" issues. when i want to know about other people, i never ask the right questions. james always knows what to ask me. i like that. i'm glad that i will get to see more of him now that i'm in houston.

  i need to try harder to ask the right questions.

  anyway. on the sunday night before i start work for real, i thought i would put some of my thoughts into words and share them with the world.

  today was nice. i got up, had some cereal, wrote some email. nick came over and took me to best buy to get a tv (mom, dad, if you're reading this, don't worry, it's ok). we came back, set it up, played around, talked. i had dinner with ron and ethan. we talked about being in europe, and about the banned's performance on friday. we went back to ron's and watched wallace and grommit.

  it was nice.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 07.21.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, July 20, 2002

  just a day, just an ordinary day

  too tired to write much now. had a long day. ran the lunar rendezvous 5k this morning and clocked my worst time ever. must adjust to this heat. wonder if that is even possible.

  at 10, chrissy and james picked me up and we got stuck in traffic and it took us 2+ hours to make the normally 40 minute trip to liz's place. as a result, we didn't go to six flags. instead, saw road to perdition at the theater and swam in liz's pool. then picked up thai food, bought wine, and watched west side story at the outdoor ampitheater.

  does the word "ampitheater" automatically imply "outdoors?" hmm.

  sleepy.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 07.20.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, July 19, 2002

  on my own

  my dad just left on his long day's drive back to charlotte. i'm sad to see him go. now i am all alone in my big apartment for the first time, and that's a little bit of a spooky thought. tonight will be my first night alone in my new place! both exciting and scary.

  (2:16 p.m.)

  oh yeah. i posted a lot of pictures, from mexico and from dad's and my stop at jake's on our way down to houston on monday.

  i'm sitting here pretending to unpack, but actually i'm being a bum and vegging in front of the tv. i watched the second half of one of the tom clancy movies, one of the ones with harrison ford as jack ryan. i dunno which one it was, but it had to do with drug lords and lots of government deception. anyway. i'd never seen it before. it was ok.

  i really should unpack some more.

  (4:56 p.m.)

  ok, what is it with southwestern bell? when i called a month ago to set up my phone service, i was put through to what i thought was the most talkative salesman ever. he just would not stop talking to me and trying to sell me different services. i couldn't hang up until he finished setting up my service, so i was literally on the phone with him for 45 minutes until i finally got the stupid phone and dsl set up.

  fast forward to today. i have now come to the conclusion that every southwestern bell billing person is just extraordinarily and annoying long-winded. today i call because i noticed that my first bill had my street address right, but was missing the apartment number. so i called to add the number. first of all, the guy asks me random questions about how much long distance i use, if it's just me that uses the phone, etc. he finally gets around to asking me what i want changed on the address, and then puts me on hold for 5 minutes while all he does is change one little number.

  he finally comes back and says he's changed it, but wants to let me know about some call waiting extra feature for only $1 a month more. i politely decline. he says "ok, i understand completely, but i wanted to let you know that..." and proceeds to tell me how nice this call waiting extra stuff is, like it can automatically forward to your voice mail and crap. again, i politely decline. he says "ok, i understand completely, but i wanted to let you know that..." and starts talking again about the call waiting thingy. i say "no, i really don't need it, all i need is my address changed." he says "ok, i understand completely, but i wanted to let you know that..." and then he starts talking about some fancy phone they're having a sale on.

  at this point, i'm starting to get fed up, so i interrupt him and say "i don't need anything but my address changed, that's all, and if that's been done then i'm gonna go now. has my address been changed?" and he says "yes, i'll put that in the computer, but i wanted to let you know that..." and starts to say something else. at this point, i say "ok, thank you, goodbye" and hang up. he was still talking.

  now, i don't like having to hang up on people. i feel sorry for people who have to spend their days telemarketing or answering customer phone calls because i figure it must be a really sucky job, so i try to be pleasant. but good lord, this man could not take the obvious hint that i didn't want anything else. ugh.

  i bet he didn't even change the address.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 07.19.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, July 17, 2002

  a car named vic

  it's harder to remember to update when my days have no real pattern. no schedule, no commitments. just whatever i want to do.

  anyway. here is the major accomplishment of my day:

  

  my poor little sentra has suffered an identity crisis! in 2 minutes, it went from being a happy member of north carolina car society to a confused little guy in a sea of texas trucks. i think the identity crisis motivated my car to finally choose a name though, after five years of just being "my little sentra." his name? vic. i can't explain it, but that's what it is. my little sentra named vic. now from texas.

  unfortunately, vic has not been able to help me out much in the way of attaching his front license plate. i went to the nissan dealership to get the frame for it, since i've never had a plate attached to the front, and since they didn't have time to attach it for me, i figured my dad and i could do it ourselves. shouldn't be too hard, right, especially since between the two of us, we hold three degrees in engineering (two aerospace, one mechanical). not hard? for the life of me, i can't figure out how the stupid thing is supposed to attach! i honestly think they gave me the wrong part. either that, or i am supposed to cut away significant amounts of the bumper to make the thing fit. anyway, now vic and i have to go back to the nissan dealership to try again.

  oh, and tonight after i dropped my coffee pot on the floor, shattering glass everywhere, i tried to vacuum the tiny shards up. when i plugged the vacuum cleaner in and turned it on, it blew a fuse.

  {sigh}

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 07.17.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, July 16, 2002

  the end of my travels...for now...

  good news all around today. i'm in houston, in my apartment, my dsl connection worked on the first try, my mattress is here and comfy, my stuff has been brought in from the van, and the movers are coming with the rest this afternoon. the only bad thing is that my sofa was not delivered as scheduled, for unknown reasons. they can deliver it friday (grr), but dad and i are planning to drive to their warehouse tonight and get it ourselves. i'm tired of waiting on them to get their act together.

  the drive yesterday was fine...until the sun went down, at which point we were around baton rouge and the drive started to just get loooooooong. dad and i were both just ready to get here, and we finally did about 1:30 a.m. at which point i groused about my lack of a sofa, and then we immediately went to bed.

  we did make the trip longer by stopping for two hours in atlanta for lunch, but it was worth it. chris, christina, carter, and kent met us at mick's. we ate lunch and then even had time to go to jake's for some ice cream before chris had to get back to work and we had to get back on the road. i wish i could have stayed longer; i always like going through atlanta.

  in any case, i'm finally back in houston and my past month's travels are at an end. it's nice to be settling in one place for more than a week, but it's sort of sad to see my exciting month end.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 07.16.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, July 14, 2002

  ohhhhhh mexico

  i didn't write yesterday. because nothing happened. i thought about writing, but didn't feel like it. no apologies.

  i went to church this morning to see my mexico friends again before i leave for houston tomorrow. it was really nice to know people at church for once, and have stories to share. toney gave me two great pictures he'd taken--one of the nine of us who rode in van 6 (toney was our driver), and one of me and jeff taking a mid-morning break from laying block. i'll post them along with the rest when i get back to houston.

  last night i went out with katie and jennifer and caroline. jennifer and caroline are two of katie's best friends, and all four of us were on the mexico trip. it made me feel really good to have been invited.

  at times in mexico, i got the feeling that katie sort of wished i wasn't around, sort of felt like i was intruding into her group of friends. i was definitely the oldest "college kid" on the trip, and hadn't grown up with them they way they all had with each other, but still, i didn't understand why she might be bothered. each time i've invited her to hang out with my friends, i've always loved having her there.

  so it made me happy when she invited me to dinner with jennifer and caroline. maybe i just got the wrong impression. i can't say that's never happened before. ;) anyway, we had a nice dinner at charley's and then went to see men in black 2, which was entertaining.

  today i get to load the van with my stuff. woo. the excitement abounds.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 07.14.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, July 12, 2002

  of late night runs and toaster ovens

  just got back from a run with katie. as a general rule, i don't go running with other people because i find strangely that i am often better at self-motivating myself than letting others motivate me. in fact, if others try to get me going, i am apt to become stubborn, and not run just because they are telling me to run. i know, i'm weird. but it was nice to go with muh sustah.

  we spent the day in durham and chapel hill with my grandmother and aunt. it was nice, and i got a free toaster oven out of the deal. ha! grandmother had one sitting in her closet that's barely ever been used. woo hoo--more stuff for my apartment.

  on the drive home i listened to the counting crows new album twice, and made a semi-ordered list of my favorites: up all night, carriage, new frontier, black and blue, hard candy, american girls. order subject to change though, as i listen to the album more.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 07.12.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, July 11, 2002

  in need of stimulation

  my big news for today? i found an acceptable 8 piece dish set at target for only $30. now, i love target and i love getting good deals on things i need, but if that's the highlight of my day, i think it's time i get back to houston and do something.

  in other news, i got a haircut and learned how to make banana bread. oh, and my fantasy baseball team has fallen solidly into third place. this is what happens if you abandon your team for two weeks. woo.

  {sigh} i'm bored. i started going through the boxes in the attic today as well, but haven't hit upon any hidden treasures yet, just work from my first few co-op tours that i saved. i can't decide whether to throw it out or not. my rational side says to throw it out, that i won't ever need it again, but my other side says to keep it, that it's neat to be able to look back on what i did when i first started working for nasa.

  anyway.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 07.11.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, July 10, 2002

  difficulties

  {sigh} baseball, baseball, baseball. what are you doing to yourself?

  (10:54 p.m.)

  as katie and i were headed out to bed, bath and beyond tonight, we got a call from mom telling us to hurry home, because our old neighbor leon was in town and was going to stop by. what a great surprise visit! leon and charlene (and their awesome dog mac, the best dog ever) used to live next door to us, but moved to atlanta four years ago. leon is a lawyer for bellsouth and was in town for a case, so he stopped by our house to catch up. it was nice to hear all the news about the kids too--samuel is about to enter kindergarten, and olivia is 21 months old and cute as ever. even though i don't live at home anymore, i always wish they had been able to stay in charlotte, as they were the best neighbors we ever had.

  but at the store, katie bought me my belated birthday present, something for my apartment, and i chose...a george foreman lean mean fat reducing grilling machine! ha! i am sooo stupidly excited.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 07.10.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, July 09, 2002

  lazy days and hard runs

  ah, the lazy days of summer. this is the first time in a while that i've been able to truly enjoy them, without school or work to think of. they're nice.

  woke up at a reasonable hour this morning, read the paper, took a shower. helped mom shuttle cars back and forth, as apparently every car in our family suddenly needs work. dad's suburu broke down last week, mom's van needed repair to the door hinge, and katie's corolla needed brake work. brian's accord, david's brand new civic, and my sentra are all just fine though, so ok, i exaggerated a bit when i said all of the graybeal cars needed work. it was really only half of them. but still. and yes, we really do have six cars in our family. six adults = six cars. i know, it's disgusting. it's our way of pretending we're rich. ;)

  after that i headed over to the rec wing to meet katie for a work out. last night mom and katie and i went to the mall and i tried on at least a dozen pairs of khaki shorts before i found a pair that i liked well enough. some just plain didn't fit, some were just weird, some were too short, some were too long. (mom said i'd get used to the extra inch; i argued that an extra inch is the difference between looking like a 50-year-old and looking like a 24-year-old. katie agreed with me. score one for the younger generation.)

  after an hour of looking and only one suitable pair of shorts, i have come to the conclusion (for the umpteenth time) that i am a fatty. so i worked out hard today. rode the bike, ran at a flat 10:00 per mile pace, and let katie almost kill me with situps. i am exhausted, but if i keep it up, i won't be a fatty anymore. and that will make me happy.

  besides, i need to get back in shape for the lunar rendezvous run that i'm doing a week from saturday. i haven't done a race since bay to breakers, and i need to get back on track. also, i've used all my travelling as an excuse to not run for the past month and a half. no more! no more fatty!

  anyway. that is my mid-year resolution. no more fatty. tonight dad is taking me to picasso's for dinner so that i can watch the baseball all-star game. i could have watched it at home, but noooo, dad has some sort of personal vendetta against time warner, and cancelled the cable tv. now we not only don't get cable, but can't even pick up the local channels because we have no antenna. what a wacko. oh well, i get a free dinner out of it.

  oh! i almost forgot. counting crows came out with their new album today, hooray! i bought it this afternoon.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 07.09.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, July 08, 2002

  back in the u.s.a.

  i'm back! (and freezing in the air conditioning of this house, i might add.) it's weird--after being internet-less for the majority of three weeks now, i had to consciously remind myself to update. i'm sure you're all glad that i remembered, as am i. i actually did keep a journal (handwritten of course) every day in reynosa so that i can look back at it and remind myself.

  mexico was very, very, very good to me.

  for once, i am not in the mood to share the experience with the world. not yet. maybe later. on the more superficial side (hee hee), i did take a lot of pictures, and i will post them when i get back to houston next week and can download them from my camera.

  i'm not very wordy today, i think, as i've just been sitting here for about 10 minutes staring at the screen while i daydream. i'm sleepy from a busy trip, and revelling in being truly clean (shaved legs, clean fingernails, conditioned hair, non-sticky skin, ahhhhh) for the first time in more than a week. mom taught me how to make her yummy egg salad. i bought new running shoes to replace the ones i left with a 15-year-old girl named wendy in reynosa. i read the newspaper. i read sports illustrated's mid-season baseball issue, and was appalled at rick reilly. i am starting to see why carter has such a dislike for him.

  i don't have much to do this week, so i'll just be lounging i guess. i want to go through all my boxes in the attic so that i don't take junk to houston, which will probably be fun, as many of the boxes haven't been opened since high school graduation six years ago. i'm sure i will find some treasures.

  i was thinking of going down to atlanta early, on friday, to hang out, and have my dad meet me on sunday or monday to drive to houston. but i found out today that some people will be gone. i dunno what i want to do. i am feeling very disconnected from my atlanta friends these days, and i am unsure of how to reconnect. i am probably worrying over nothing.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 07.08.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, June 28, 2002

  hola, me llamo sarah

  after three days of updates, i'm going to out of touch again, this time for 9 days. tomorrow morning at 7:30 i'll be at the airport getting ready to board a plane to san antonio via houston. we'll spend the night at a ranch outside san antonio, and on sunday we'll drive down to reynosa, mexico. i'll be in reynosa all week, return to san antonio next saturday, fly back here to charlotte next sunday. no internet access in reynosa = no diaryland updates. i'm sure you'll all survive.

  today got off to a great and late start...sleeping until 11:45. i feel much more rested today than i have in a while. i made myself pasta for lunch, had to make a return trip to walmart to exchange a few things, went running, and packed for the trip. mom made breakfast for dinner, one of my favorites. the evening became stressful, however, as i've just now finished packing for my trip. as such, i had to cancel my plans to have a drink with ginger and her friends tonight. geez, i always feel so angry about having to back out on plans i made in advance, especially if they involve friends. i don't know the next time i'll get to see ginger. grr. i feel so bad for having to cancel; i should have started packing much earlier. i didn't think it would take so long. grr.

  i'm pretty nervous about this trip, for two reasons. one, i don't really know any of the other people going, and of the college group (with which i'll be spending most of my time), i'm the oldest. two, it is a mission trip, and i haven't attended church with any regularity since 8th grade.

  we will be building houses in reynosa, so it's not like we're going down there to preach--we're just going to help some people in need, which is one of the reasons i'm going at all. i was looking for something interesting and fun to do this summer, this trip has been something my sister and brother have enjoyed in the past, and it helps people--those three things make it worthwhile. but still, the fact that it's a church trip combined with my lack of a church-going nature makes me nervous.

  it's not that i don't believe in religion. it's just that i have always felt it should be a private thing.

  not that that has anything to do with this trip...it was just more of a side thought. it is hard for me to put my thoughts on religion together into a coherent idea, and the thoughts are mostly private anyway. so i never really talk about it.

  anyway. here's hoping it will be a great experience.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 06.28.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, June 27, 2002

  and the vacation continues

  today was nice, and would have been nicer if i'd been able to sleep late. instead, i had the pleasure of getting up at 8:15 and going to the dentist, where my mouth was repeatedly poked by some freakish hygenist who i didn't like very much. lovely. anyway, the upside of it was that i was home by 10:30, and had the whole day left to hang out.

  so i hung out. katie fixed me a yummy cheese quesadilla for lunch, and i read the sports page from cover to cover. i read the comics for the first time in months. la la la.

  after lunch, mom and katie and i went to walmart to stock up for the trip to mexico. came home, unpacked the stuff. katie and i headed over to the rec wing and worked out, which felt really good after my having gone a month without running. (bad sarah, bad!) i rode the bike for a 24 minute hill cycle, did the weight machines for triceps and hamstrings, did the ab machine, then ran for 15 minutes at 5.5 mph and 5 minutes at 6 mph. i would have run longer, except the rec wing puts a 20 minute time limit on the treadmill. i felt pretty good; i'd been worried that i wouldn't be able to run at all after being such a slacker for the past month. but i did well, and i'll run again tomorrow, and the week after mexico. to motivate myself, i have signed up for the lunar rendezvous 5k in houston on july 20. my first race as a houstonian! we'll see how i handle the heat.

  i'm sleepy.

  (12:31 a.m.)

  p.s. almost forgot one of the highlights of my slow quiet day. my old high school friend ginger read this diary yesterday, found out i'm home, and called me tonight. she's leaving charlotte in a big way on monday--moving to los angeles--and tomorrow night she's having a get-together with some friends and she called to invite me. cool. we recently reconnected with a couple emails after not talking for ages, so it will be nice to see her.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 06.27.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, June 26, 2002

  road trip whirlwind

  as promised, here i am. back in charlotte on june 26. i know you'll all be excited to see me again....right? ;) though i should warn any regular readers that i'll be disappearing again for another 8 days starting saturday as i head to mexico for a week, where internet access will not be a priority...or even available. anyway.

  what a whirlwind week and a half! to summarize:

  1 trip to the 18th green at pebble beach
  1 night in monterey, ca
  2 bags of genuine california nuts (pistachios and almonds)
  1 box of fresh cherries
  3 frantic phone calls to see if the space shuttle might be landing as we passed edwards air force base (we missed it by a day!)
  1 night in kingman, az
  1,000 cactii in the desert
  1 crossing of the continental divide
  4,000 feet to the other side of meteor crater
  1 night in las cruces, nm
  1 3x3 wooden board in the middle of the road
  1 very flat tire after hitting previously mentioned board
  1 trip to tire store to replace previously mentioned tire
  2 miles of walking 800 feet underground in carlsbad caverns
  500,000 mexican free-tailed bats in flight
  1 very friendly and adopted bat named bernard
  1 night in carlsbad, nm
  3 laps around the riverwalk
  1 night in san antonio, tx
  6 flags of texas on display at the alamo
  2,400 miles of total driving
  1,091 square feet in my apartment
  1 trip each to: target, super target, walmart, ikea (!!)
  2 trips each to: star furniture, aaron rents, linens 'n things, state farm insurance
  1 new texas driver's license
  4 folding chairs with my dining room card table
  4 nights in my new apartment in houston, tx

  and now i'm home in charlotte for 3 nights. then mexico. then charlotte. then houston permanently. whew! it sort of makes my head spin, so i'm just living day to day. :)

  mom's grand vacation--and my return road trip--was an unqualified success. my apartment in houston is wonderful, i'm slowing beginning to amass a few pieces of furniture to fill it up, i have enough kitchen supplies to get me by for the first few weeks at least, and to top it all off, i am now the owner of the cutest vacuum cleaner known to man. ha.

  i took a lot of pictures, but unfortunately i didn't have internet access set up in my apartment before we left today to come back to charlotte. it will be ready when i return to houston "permanently" in the middle of july, and i promise to post many, many pictures then.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 06.26.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, June 17, 2002

  i've always been bad with goodbyes

  my room is empty, the movers have gone, my bags are packed, and my ethernet connection will be turned off in 10 minutes. i guess it's time to go.

  it has been a good year at stanford. i now have the benefit of hindsight, and i have to admit that when i look back, i know that i made the right choice in coming here. i will miss the breeze and the shade and the ocean and the bay and the hills.

  and i will miss the people. the good friends i made here. in this strange place where i wasn't really expecting to find comfort, let alone happiness...both found me.

  i will be back, i know. i can feel it. i will be back.

  for those who follow this diary regularly...tonight mom and i start driving, and i likely won't have access to the internet again until i get home to charlotte on june 26. see you all on the flip side.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 06.17.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, June 16, 2002

  master sarah

  whoa. deja vu. a year later and i'm graduating again. you may call me "master." :-)

  

  

  

  

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 06.16.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, June 15, 2002

  this beautiful city by the bay

  someone, remind me again...why am i leaving?? where did i ever get the idea to leave this place, where i'm only half an hour away from this:

  

  

  

  

  it is so incredibly beautiful here. today mom let me sleep late, then we headed north to the golden gate bridge, muir woods, and the marin headlands. every step we took, the view just seemed to get better and better and better.

  at the top of hawk hill in the marin headlands, we overhead two guys talking. one said to the other "look at what you're leaving behind..." as they gazed out across the bay and toward the bridge and the city. it turns out he's moving to new york in two weeks to take a new job in magazine publishing. for five minutes, we commiserated about having to leave the bay area; we felt each other's pain.

  going to the beautiful places--the bridge, the redwood forest, the wind-whipped headlands--was a good thing to do the day before i graduate. somehow, it was closure, a good way to say goodbye. goodbye...for now.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 06.15.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, June 14, 2002

  the graduate

  Dear Sarah Royston Graybeal,

  I am pleased to inform you that your application to graduate has been approved for a MS in Aeronautics and Astronautics. You have satisfied all University and departmental requirements for this degree.

  i woke up this morning to the above email. woohoo! what a nice thing to wake up to...confirmation that i will be graduating as scheduled on sunday. reassurance that i didn't waste my money on that cap and gown. ;)

  mom got here right on time yesterday, and we drove into the city for the afternoon. we parked the car at market and powell and hopped on the cable car to fisherman's wharf. i can't believe i waited nine months--until i was about to leave the bay area--to ride on a cable car. the thing was completely touristy, of course, but also so much fun. we wandered around fisherman's wharf and ghirardelli square for the afternoon, then caught the cable car back to market and powell, where we walked around the union square area and looked at all the expensive stores. we came back to palo alto later and went to target to get an air mattress for me to sleep on last night, since i gave mom my bed.

  ok, so we bought a cheap air mattress, and then bought a pump to inflate it with. the box for the pump said "plugs into car's cigarette lighter," which we thought was a cool additional feature. we didn't realize until we got home and opened the box that it only plugs into a car cigarette lighter. we had to drag the air mattress out to my car in order to inflate the stupid thing, and not only was the air pump not very powerful, it was also very loud. mom and i couldn't stop laughing at the absurdity of it all. needless to say, we will be exchanging it for a better and wall-outlet compatible pump today.

  james thinks the counting crows song "have you seen me lately" is bittersweet, while carter thinks it is just bitter. my opinion has always been that the song is a combination of hurt and sad. though i think it sort of depends on which version you listen to. the electric, fast version sounds angry to me; it's the acoustic, slower version (which i usually prefer) that sounds hurt and sad...but also somehow calming. there was a period in my life when i had been powerfully hurt, and i listened to that song constantly because it made me feel better. for what it's worth.

  anyway.

  today is a day of errands. already this morning i have called the phone company and electric company in houston and set up accounts. the movers called me, so i didn't have to call them, which was nice. now i have to call nasa, and the dod. mom is currently over doing my laundry while i showered and finish making these calls. ;) what a nice mom.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 06.14.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, June 13, 2002

  my uncle, the famous farmer

  dad sent me the neatest email yesterday. it turns out that my uncle steve is in the dairy showcase this month! hee hee. i am quite amused; i didn't even know there was such thing as "the mid-atlantic spot for dairy" and "local farmer showcase." but it's very cool. my dad said that of all the dairy farms that were in existence in 1942, less than 10 are left. in the entire country! and graywood farms (where my dad grew up as well before he chose not to stay in the farming business), under the expert direction of my uncle joe and uncle steve, is one of them. go read about the farm.

  anyway. mom comes in an hour i'd better get ready to head to the airport.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 06.13.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, June 12, 2002

  done

  i'm done. i am going to do very, very poorly in 271, but i'm done. you may now address me as:

  wise master sarah
  lover of swedes
  nostalgic before she even leaves

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 06.12.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, June 11, 2002

  leaving

  i've said it before, and never think that i will say it again. and yet i always do. it gets to the point where it is almost embarassing. oh, there's sarah again, winding down, getting ready to leave again. look at her, she's an emotional wreck. everything is turned into some special memory, everything is filed away. she never wants to leave anywhere.

  ...but i don't want to leave...can't you see i'm having so much fun...please...don't make me leave...

  "and they'll watch the game and it will be as if they dipped themselves in magic waters. the memories will be so thick they'll have to brush them away from their faces." (field of dreams)

  
  markus and me in the mem aud fountain

  
  kristof sneaking up behind me in the old union fountain

  
  markus kicking my butt

  
  tibor and me fooling around after dinner

  
  tibor, nick, and me, 3/4 of the tuesday night cooking crew

  
  petter, markus, henrik and david, "the swedes." i want to visit sweden.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 06.11.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, June 10, 2002

  hee hee

  maybe it's not the most appropriate thing to be making fun of, but this article from the onion really cracked me up.

  (2:52 a.m.)

  another late night, but a good one. i just got back from breakers, where i was making cheesecake for tomorrow night's dessert. i had to do it tonight, because tomorrow i have to study. yes, i could have studied tonight too, but i wanted to make cheesecake. yes, i know this makes no sense. i really can't cook well at all, but i keep trying. my cooking methods amuse alberto greatly (he's the manager of breakers), but i think he's impressed with my dedication. ;) tomorrow is my last day of cooking with nick and tibor. how sad. tuesday afternoons this quarter have been my favorites.

  then earlier tonight i went out with tico and kate, to blue chalk, where we played shuffleboard and birkball and talked. we didn't stay long, as i had to come home to finish some homework (and then bake of course), but tico wanted to buy me a beer before i graduate. he's such a nice guy; i wish i had spent more time with him this year. it was really nice of him to want to get together one more time before the end of the year.

  there's a skunk that lives under the wooden benches around the tree in front of breakers. i saw him twice tonight, scurrying into his little lair. i rode my bike away quickly both times. eek.

  i'm sleepy.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 06.10.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, June 09, 2002

  a boring afternoon

  this afternoon is one of studying, and working on the 290 paper. hopefully i will get a lot done, and have something much more exciting to do tonight.

  (2:25 a.m.)

  well, the day pretty much held to its boring start. worked on the paper all afternoon. went to dinner, briefed a bunch of foreigners on the basics of how to play baseball. (sarah: "tibor, how many innings are in a baseball game?" tibor: "what's an inning?" sarah, banging her head against the table: "nooooooooooooo." )

  after dinner, susan was nice enough to let me borrow her laptop, so i sat in nick's room and worked on the paper while watching bridget jones's diary. (colin firth. yum.) after that we watched the u.s.-korea world cup game and i pestered tunji with soccer questions. i've decided soccer is a sport rather like baseball...it seems boring, until you start to learn about all the intricacies of the game, and then it becomes quite a bit more interesting.

  tomorrow: more work on the paper, hopefully to the point of finishing it!

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 06.09.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, June 08, 2002

  worried

  sometimes my friends get me into trouble. i know they mean well, but...

  today i'm taking a long study break and driving down to san luis obispo to meet courtney and barrett and hang out for the afternoon. i was supposed to go to l.a. for three days...but finals and final reports are taking much longer than i expected. i'm frustrated that i couldn't stick with the original visit-l.a. plan, but glad courtney was willing to compromise.

  (12:09 a.m.)

  san luis obispo was nice. i got to see courtney, along with the rest of her family. we had a nice lunch and walked around the downtown area and looked in the little shops, and then hung out in barrett's apartment for a while. the drive down there was lovely. three hours down, hang out for a while, three hours back. it didn't feel like i was int he car for six hours today.

  california is such a beautiful place; the hills and fields and bright blue sky was enough to keep me going, along with the great music collection i took along. yes, i admit, i am easy that way. just give me music, a car, an open road, and a warm sunny day. when i have those, life feels perfect. :)

  j.r. instant messaged me tonight...from new zealand. how random. james had given him my contact info. new zealand. {dreamy sigh}

  i came home to a reassuring email tonight. it made me happy, and sorry that i missed fountain-hopping this afternoon.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 06.08.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, June 07, 2002

  sveriges nationaldag

  so last night about 20 or 30 swedes showed up for dinner at breakers, in addition to the usual four of petter, david, markus and henrich. turns out they were on a field trip. yes, a field trip. they got to come all the way from sweden to california for a field trip; how come i never got to go to another country on a field trip?? oh well.

  anyway, it turns out that yesterday was also sweden national day. sort of like independence day, but as markus pointed out, you can't celebrate an independence day when you've never had to fight for your independence. hmm. so they just celebrate national day, which is on the day that king really-long-swedish-name first moved into sweden like 500 years ago or something.

  in any case, we peer pressured the swedes into singing the swedish national anthem, so they all stood up and looked at the new swedish flag that has been added to the wall at breakers, and they sang the first verse. it was quite fun.

  i love swedes. they are so cool. and funny.

  after dinner i harassed tibor for a while and got a much better picture of him than the last one i posted. yay.

  i'm up early this morning to meet nick and go to the bookstore to get caps and gowns for graduation. oh, the excitement.

  (3:08 p.m.)

  just finished my ee106 (planetary exploration) final. it was long, but not too hard. the professor made me feel nice and guilty at the end though. as i was unlocking my bike, he was returning to the classroom with cookies, and he stopped to give me one. why does this make me feel guilty? because 1) i went to class only like five times, and hadn't been to class at all since the midterm, which was on may 1, and 2) because he knew my name. i went to class only a handful of times, and never asked any questions. i had no interaction directly with the professor, and yet he knew my name. how must more on-top-of-things can you get?? i appreciate professors who pay attention; they are so few and far between. now i feel sort of bad for not attending his class!

  awesome! sooo many sporting events this weekend: french open, triple crown, world cup, nba finals, stanley cup finals, and of course my personal favorite sport is offering a weekend of interleague play (barry at the house that ruth built = cool). too bad i have to study, study, study.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 06.07.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, June 06, 2002

  disrupting my beauty sleep

  all year i have put up with living next door to a big construction project (two new buildings of studio apartments), so i guess it figures that the last two weeks of the year would consist of the most annoying amount of noise coming from the site and disrupting my sleep. it's hot outside and we have no air conditioning, so i leave my window open at night. yet leaving my window open means being woken up at 8 or 8:30 in the morning when the construction begins for the day. i'm not sure what they're doing right now, but they're using some sort of machine that produces a sound similar to and only slightly quieter than a jackhammer. it sort of sounds like one of those tree-eating machines, you know, where you throw in the branch and it spits out mulch. or maybe it's a large and unusually noisy power generator. i have no idea. but it's annoying. i've been getting eight hours of sleep, but the last hour or so always sucks because i get woken up by the noise, then i get up to close the window to make it a little quieter, and then it just gets stuffy and hot and i can't sleep anyway. so then i just get up.

  whine whine.

  (3:39 p.m.)

  best news i've heard all day: there is a possibility that i can get nasa to pay back my student loans under the office of personnel management's federal student loan repayment program. it's not guaranteed, and the program is fairly new so nasa might not even be a participant, so i'm trying not to get my hopes up...but if this thing works out, i swear to never, ever, ever again complain about being a civil servant.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 06.06.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, June 05, 2002

  football...no the other kind of football

  "Could the United States have gotten off to a better start in the World Cup? The only way their opening 3-2 win over Portugal would have been sweeter is if Landon Donovan had captured Osama Bin Laden during one of his runs."

  so the u.s. soccer team pulled off an upset this morning. that's cool. now i can tease tunji and robin about soccer, i mean football, since nigeria and france both lost their first game.

  it's been sort of interesting to see the buildup to the world cup this year, because for the first time, i have many international friends who have been pumping themselves up for weeks in preparation, while i sit around going "huh? world cup?"

  i wonder how the u.s. missed the world cup bandwagon. why don't we ever pay attention to soccer, when in every other country in the world, soccer has a massive, public, government-encouraged cult following? i don't think there's any sport in this country that gets people as worked up en masse as soccer does elsewhere in the world. i mean, americans will get excited about football or basketball or baseball or even hockey, but not to the extent that they camp out at the stadium days in advance, and start chanting hours before the game even begins.

  i think the whole world cup thing is kinda cool.

  and then of course in other sporting news there is last night's carolina hurricanes victory over the red wings in the first game of the stanley cup finals. i'm still amazed. my sleepy little state--the same one that just said sayonara to the basketball team that brought professional sports to north carolina in the first place--has a hockey team? a good hockey team? a hockey team that's vying for the stanley cup?

  pretty cool. for the next few weeks, i'm going to add hockey and soccer to my list of interests. :)

  (3:47 p.m.)

  today, because it is 88 degrees and because it is very sunny and because i just feel like it, i am wearing a skirt. it's purple with small flowers on it. according to molly and bill, by wearing a skirt on a day when i don't have a presentation to give or a dinner to attend, i am betraying my engineering roots. to that i say HA!

  (12:57 a.m.)

  it is at least 10 degrees warmer in my room than it is outside. outside it is cool and lovely. in my room, it is stuffy and hot. i'm never going to get to sleep. i have been spoiled by air conditioning.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 06.05.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, June 04, 2002

  what month is it again?

  last night when i set out for my first run in two weeks (not running has been making me quite antsy, and my ankle finally feels healed), i looked up in the sky and saw scorpio. it is my favorite summer constellation. summer constellation.

  i saw it shining up there and thought "that's odd to see scorpio this early in the evening, i thought it was a summer constellation." i took two more steps. then realized that it's june, hence that means it is the summer. (and you wonder why cayce calls me the "dumbest smart person" that she knows.) of course scorpio is in the sky, i mean, stars don't generally appear in places that they're not supposed to.

  it just made me realize how quickly this year has passed. the last time i noticed scorpio, i was standing with ron and phil on the patio of our apartment in houston. we were just hanging out, drinking beers. i can't believe my time in california is coming to a close; it seems like only yesterday that my dad and i drove up palm drive for the first time.

  recently, the thought of moving to houston has started to unnerve me. for the first time, i'll be going there indefinitely. for an unknown period of time. no fall semester on the way, no university waiting for my return. i find that a little bit scary. i know things will be ok. being scared and stressed is just the way i react to impending change, and i've accepted that...almost.

  (10:13 p.m.)

  it has been brought to my attention that not only is tibor my favorite almost communist, but he is also damn sexy. in fact, he may just be the sexiest guy in all of breakers. ooh ahh.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 06.04.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, June 03, 2002

  wedding pics

  i posted some pictures from the wedding here. {sigh} one day i will make my webpage pretty again. until then, it has become not much more than a depository for photos. ah well. i'll add it to the list of things to do once i get to houston and theoretically have tons of free time.

  it's gonna be a busy week.

  (5:39 p.m.)

  if everyone in the bursar's office dies painful deaths, it was me, ok? i admit it right now. grr! anyway, today's frustration isn't even worth complaining about. suffice it to say that the bursar's office has screwed up...again. and of course, as my luck would have it, the people who i need to talk to don't work on mondays. grr. i will go on the bursar rampage again tomorrow.

  my dasani bottle that i fill up every morning says that "dasani is filtered for purity, using state of the art treatment by reverse osmosis." what is reverse osmosis? hmm. i'm suspicious that dasani has strung some scientific-sounding words together to make themselves look cool. yes, i know osmosis is a a real process, but i have never heard of reverse osmosis. i'm going to have to look it up.

  geez. i'm a dork.

  my flight back yesterday was uneventful. i flew from charlotte to detroit to san francisco, and in the process i read "divine secrets of the ya-ya sisterhood," which i had picked up at barnes and noble yesterday, from cover to cover. it was a decent read, had some poignant moments and plenty of funny stories. and it was nice to find out that i can still plow through books with the best of 'em. ;) the guy next to me from charlotte-detroit was reading john grisham's "a painted house." carter just finished reading that too. must be a popular book or something these days. i haven't decided what i'm going to read next, but i've asked mom to bring brian's copy of "into thin air" for me to read on the drive from here to houston. i've been wanting to read that for a long time.

  i think they must have done a lot of work to the detroit airport in the past year, because it was much nicer than i remember it being last year when i went to ann arbor. they even had this cool tram thing running up in the ceiling from one end of the concourse to the other.

  anyway.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 06.03.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, June 02, 2002

  three times a bridesmaid, fun every time

  jes and don's wedding yesterday was beautiful. jes looked beautiful...it's funny how we always see each other all dressed up at weddings. jes was always much more--and still is--like me in the sense that we never really got dressed up for anything; we instead preferred to wear what was comfortable. seeing her with her hair done up and in her big white dress...well, she was just beautiful.

  i think we bridesmaids looked nice too. ;) jes did a really good job of picking our dresses. the color was great--a dark purple--and the cut was flattering on everyone. and the location--up in the mountains--was ideal. everywhere we went, from the rehearsal dinner to the church to the reception, was very nice. i took a lot of pictures, but since i'm still in charlotte i haven't been able to download them yet. perhaps i'll post a few when i get back to stanford tonight.

  i'm starting to wonder who will get married next. i mean, i've been in a wedding in may/june for the past three years--cayce, leila, jes. i've got a streak going! somebody's gotta get engaged really soon, so i can have another wedding to go to next summer. ;)

  as we left the wedding though, the oddest thing happened. i'm walking towards amanda's car when i hear "sarah?" behind me. i turn around and see this skinny guy in a t-shirt and cut-off khakis, baseball hat, scruffy goatee, birkenstocks. he says "do you remember me?" i stare for a minute. "jonathan wash?!?" it was jonathan wash! i was great friends with him when i was in 9th and 10th grades. he was a year ahead of me in school, but we were both in marching band together; he played trumpet. i hadn't talked to him or heard about him, much less seen him, in at least five years, probably longer. it was totally random; he was in boone for another wedding to be held today, and happened to be driving by the inn as we were leaving the reception. he said he saw me and thought "that has to be sarah," so he stopped. i think he was shocked to see me in a dress with my hair all fixed up. ;) the funniest thing about the whole situation for me though was a little inside joke i had going for myself, something i knew that nobody else did:

  i had the hugest crush on jonathan in high school. oh man, did i ever. we never dated, but he kissed me once. tee hee. hugest crush. lasted for a year and a half, until i finally gave up on him and moved on to matt, the guy i worked with at godiva. tee hee.

  anyway, random, eh?

  between jes's wedding, catching up with my old high school group, seeing my family, and randomly running into jonathan, it was a really great weekend. i'm glad i came home.

  yesterday was katie and brian's birthday, so we all went out to dinner. only david couldn't come, because he was working. it was a nice time, even if brian does still like to contradict every little thing anyone says. ;) we came home afterwards for cake and ice cream, and then i watched harry potter on dvd and headed to bed.

  the twins turned 19. i can't believe my "little" brother and sister have only a year left of their teens. i guess now is the point in my life where i start to wonder where the time went.

  i fly back in about four hours. i'm gonna go have some lunch. mmm.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 06.02.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, May 30, 2002

  red-eye misery

  here i sit in the "computer room" in charlotte. it's funny. i feel completely normal being home. mom and i went on a walk this afternoon and got caught in a downpour. dad had to come pick us up; we were cowering under an overhang outside a building at queens college. mom and david and i had dinner at showmar's. all is normal, all is calm. i am trying not to think about homework.

  i took the redeye flight. left san francisco at 12:50 a.m., arrived in minneapolis at 6:15, left again at 7:05, and arrived in charlotte at 10:24. which was only 7:30 california time. ewwww, time zones screw me up. i did manage to sleep for about 3 hours on the sfo-msp leg, and was fortunate enough to land in an empty row so that i could lay down across three seats. landed in minneapolis, found a bathroom, brushed my teeth, looked in the mirror and realized that i looked absolutely horrible. baggy eyes and everything. ugh. i wasn't so lucky with the seats on the msp-clt leg and didn't get any more sleep.

  i got home, fed my growling stomach, bummed around, thought about doing homework, decided against it, and finally crashed for another 3 hours. mom woke me up at 4:45, fearful that if i didn't get up, i'd never be able to sleep tonight. heh. never fear mom. i'm exhausted.

  i got to talk to both cayce and leila tonight. leila had seen a coke commercial with counting crows, and wanted to share. cayce needed to tell me the wedding plans. she's picking me up bright and early tomorrow and we're heading to boone. we'll come back to charlotte on saturday, then it's back to stanford for me on sunday.

  sarah's no-name team jumped up by 6 points today on the heels of jim thome's two home runs...and a few bad pitching performances by other people's players. back into first place, right where i like to be.

  my eyes are getting droopy.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 05.30.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, May 29, 2002

  end of quarter madness

  today has been a california heat wave...it's 84 degrees at 7:00! heh. after enjoying the weather here for so long, today actually feels a bit warm. and to think in two months i'll be living in houston, where 84 degrees is a summertime cold spell.

  this woman from my credit card company just called offering me credit protection. i listened to her whole spiel because after all, she's talking about a credit card i already have. but i really don't need protection from injury or unexpected job loss...and i was thoroughly unimpressed that she was reading the whole spiel. now, i know telemarketeres are reading off cues or whatever when they call you, but at least they could make it sound like they're excited. this woman spoke in monotone. she almost put me to sleep. and she was so bored by the whole thing that when i told her i didn't want the protection plan, it tooks a moment for what i said to register. {sigh} telemarketers.

  so in four hours, nick is coming to pick me up and take me to the airport. i'm going home this weekend for jes's wedding. it will be fun to see my family and old friends, but it stresses me out a bit to be leaving school right at crunch time. next wednesday is the last day of classes, and finals run next friday through the following wednesday. i'll be taking homework home with me this weekend. it sucks, but i'm have to do it or i'll never finish everything. most annoying is that both aa271 and aa279 handed out new homework assignments today. you'd think they'd let us start studying for the finals or something. oh well.

  (10:36 p.m.)

  procrastination is a wonderful thing. i just posted about 20 more pictures from the half dome hike. find them here.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 05.29.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, May 28, 2002

  still riding the adrenaline rush of half dome

  i usually don't address specific people in this journal, but i have been asked to give a shout out to a guy named eric stewart. hello eric. i'm flattered that you think i sound like a cool person. ;)

  i dropped becca off at the airport early this morning, so my memorial day weekend adventure is officially over. how disappointing! i am still riding the adrenaline rush from sunday's hike/climb. yosemite was awesome. half dome was awesome. if you didn't catch the link yesterday, you can go to my homepage and click on the last link to go to a page i made about the 8.2 miles and 4,800 feet elevation gain up to the top of half dome, the time i spent at the top, and the 8.2 miles and 4,800 feet elevation loss back. there are plenty of pictures, and i will add more when i get the chance.

  

  ideally, i'd like to make an informative page about the half dome hike, since i gathered a lot of useful information from reading a few other webpages put together by people who'd done the hike before. it's a great hike accessible to anyone in decent physical shape, but there are also a few things people should know before they head out. i'm definitely glad that becca and i did our research ahead of time.

  but today it's back to the real world, meaning...school. ick. i have a lot to catch up on, and quickly. these last two weeks are going to be stressful, i fear. late tomorrow night i'll be getting on a plane for charlotte, where i'll then drive to boone for jes's wedding on saturday. i'll fly back here on sunday for three more days of class, one day off, and then--BAM!--finals. before i know it, i'll be graduating again. i can hardly believe a year has gone by so quickly...it seems like only yesterday that i was moving into this cramped bedroom and wondering what stanford had in store for me. suddenly, it's summertime again. this summer is different though; this time around, instead of begging time to slow down, i can laugh and just say...

  bring it on.

  (10:51 p.m.)

  this is my friend tibor:

  

  on tuesday nights, i cook at breakers with tibor, nick, and dave. tibor is from slovakia and would have joined the communist party if it had lasted long enough; thus, i have dubbed him my favorite almost-communist. :)

  tonight, he came in saying that he realized he doesn't understand an american social custom--hugging! it turns out that when i gave him a hug a few weeks ago, he was traumatized. (ok, well maybe not traumatized...let's just say he was caught off guard and shocked.) i didn't realize a simple hug had caused such a reaction, but as he said: "i hug my mother, my father, and my girlfriend. no one else. when you hugged me i didn't know what to do!" so i hugged him again, and he stiffened. i laughed, and so as we were cooking, we discussed the fact that he can hug someone and it doesn't have to be sexual. it's not that he doesn't like being hugged, it's just that he has always perceived it to be a sign of something deeper, never as a simple greeting or friendly gesture.

  hee. today i taught a slovakian how to hug.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 05.28.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, May 27, 2002

  my conquest of yosemite's half dome

  this weekend was...awesome!!! if you want to read about how painful the climb to half dome (in yosemite national park) can be, i'm sorry, you'll have to read becca's account of our journey. if you want to hear how incredible the climb to half dome is, i promise to write about it tomorrow. today, i've already done enough writing about it, and i posted some pictures to go along with the story. find it on my homepage: here.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 05.27.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, May 25, 2002

  weekend plans

  today, breakfast at peninsula, then driving to yosemite. tonight, at the yosemite bug hostel. tomorrow, bright and early, drive into the park to the happy isles trailhead. by lunchtime or shortly thereafter: half dome.

  

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 05.25.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, May 24, 2002

  perfection part 2

  god i love california.

  friday afternoon. driving down the highway, windows down, sun shining, hair swirling around my head, sunglasses firmly on. not a cloud in the sky. to my right, foothills backed by mountains; to my left, wind-tossed waters of the bay. on the radio, counting crows, murder of one, live version.

  and i have been to paris, and i have been to rome, and i have gone to london, and i am all alone, and i have been to paris, i have been to rome, i've gone to new york city and i am all alone.

  there are some moments that should never end.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 05.24.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, May 23, 2002

  an interesting thought

  "Somebody told me (I can't remember who) that the first year of work right after you graduate is one of the hardest times when you have such a sudden change from a very sociable environment surrounded by friends and folks your age to the working world where you have to act professional and work 8+ hours a day at something you may or may not enjoy. I guess I'll be there soon enough so that I can comment on it first hand, but it's rather sad if that's the case. My good friend Jen always said that people get married because they graduate from college and realize how bored and lonely they are, so they get married and have kids to fill the void. I always argued with her on this and said people get married for more idealistic reasons, like being in love with each other, but she still stuck to her point."

  (2:11 a.m.)

  after spending the evening in nick's room, i just rode across campus to turn in my aa271 and ee106 homework just so that i don't have to go on campus tomorrow. i can sleep as late as i want.

  riding at night with the cool breeze and emptiness was nice.

  this is maybe my new favorite picture of me, courtesy of nick. at big dance. i post it here because i think there may be a few people who'd like to have it. and because i like it.

  

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 05.23.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, May 22, 2002

  news of the weird

  today's sign that the apocalypse is upon us: abercrombie sells thongs for kids. eee gads. don't they have anything better to do?

  in other news, the "other" bay area baseball team appears to be in total freefall. i've followed the a's this year and even been to a few games; it's nice to have an american league team to root for. but after a hot start, they've fallen apart. yesterday they sent three sometimes-starters back to triple-a ball and called up three minor leaguers in an attempt to shake things up. then today they traded one of the best guys on the team--jeremy giambi--to the phillies for someone the phils have mostly been using only as a pinch hitter. this whole move sounds really sketchy to me.

  there's also a pitcher starting for the cubs tonight who was in college a year ago. talk about a quick stint in the minor leagues. i wonder how he'll do in his first outing.

  and in even more weird baseball news, mike piazza made an announcement that he's not gay. what? i hadn't even heard that he might be. in fact, i figure he must be straight, otherwise how can you explain the hideous bleach job he did on his hair last year?? ;)

  anyway, enough news bites.

  let's see, what's on tap for my afternoon...laundry, i think. desperately so. it's been three weeks since i last washed clothes. this is good because it means i have quite a supply of clothing...but bad because it means my laundry basket has been overflowing for days now. i hate doing laundry. it's too far to walk, so i have to get in my car and drive over to the freaking laundry room, and since the roads here are configured strangely, i end up having to drive almost two miles when the laundry room is really only half a mile away as the crow flies. if it were only a little closer, i would just figure out some way to drag my clothes there.

  i should finish this 271 homework too. it was actually due yesterday, but since we had a midterm yesterday as well, andy said he would make the homework due "under the table" whenever we finished it. within reason, of course. i figure i have till friday to turn it in.

  (5:51 p.m.)

  and for one more sign of the apocalypse...really, how crass is this?

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 05.22.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, May 21, 2002

  my stupid weak joints

  semi-bad news. this morning i went to the health center to have my ankle looked at. it's been bothering me for more than a week now, especially since running bay to breakers on sunday. i went ahead and did the race because i figured the pain was just because i hadn't been stretching enough, but sunday night my ankle hurt a lot and was visibly swollen. so today i went to the health center.

  the diagnosis? a mild/moderate sprain. i can walk and everything, it's just a bit uncomfortable. for the next week, i've been told to do the whole "rice" thing--rest, ice, compression, elevate. and take a bunch of anti-inflammatories (i.e. advil). but most frustrating is that i'm not supposed to go running for a week. :(

  here's hoping it feels better by sunday, when becca and i are hoping to do the 17-mile half dome hike in yosemite. i think it will be if i treat it well for these next 5 days.

  two years ago it was my knee (though dislocating my knee was much more painful and took much longer to recover from), and now it's my anke. i'm starting to hate all of my joints. ;) geez. i'm 24, not 84.

  (1:43 p.m.)

  great news! nick was accepted by a musical theater school in victoria, canada! he is still hoping to get into a ballet school in france (their applications aren't due till june), but it's awesome that at the very least, he now has a fallback plan. yay!

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 05.21.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, May 20, 2002

  the roof, the roof, the roof is on fire

  it has been raining on and off today, which is strange. i thought it wasn't supposed to rain in may here. ah well. weather is strange. i still haven't totally gotten over the wonderful fact that it is the middle of may, and it's not hot and humid outside already. lovely.

  often when it rains, i can look outside my window at the roof of the building next door and see it steaming. in fact, it's steaming as i type this. i wonder why this happens. i guess the roof must warm up a lot from having the sun shine on it.

  i'm stressed out with school though. i have things to do, but really don't feel like doing them. ugh. tomorrow is the 271 midterm. it's open book, open notes.

  in the mail today, i got a letter addressed to "the family of sarah graybeal" offering them (and me) a free 9-month $10,000 life insurance policy through the stanford alumni association when i graduate. this makes me laugh.

  i also got a letter from g. wayne clough himself (everyone say "ooh aah") inviting me to "one of two special meetings in the greater san francisco area. they are among 36 global leadership identification program meetings we are holding around the country and overseas to ask key alumni like you to help us identify the next generation of leaders who will propel georgia tech to new heights."

  i wonder if this is actually something worthwhile, something that i should attend...or if it will be boring as hell. if they're just going to ask me for money, well, too bad, i have no money. oh wait. i just read it again, and the letter says i won't be asked for money. hmmm, in that case, i am even more curious to know if the meeting is something in which i should participate. i tend to have a very jaded view of georgia tech politics, and would be quite annoyed if that's all it is.

  hee hee, i just noticed that on the registration form they sent me, under the heading "student organizations/activities", they have listed "president's scholar." well eureka, that's why i got the letter. hmm. i would feel much more motivated to go if they had sent it to me because i was an editor for the 'nique, or because i was president of both aerospace student organizations at one time or the other. i don't put much importance on the fact that i was a president's scholar, other than the fact they gave me less than 1/8 of what i needed to pay for 4 years of school. the money was helpful, if only a little. but basing my importance on the fact that i was a ps....ugh. give me a break.

  anyway, enough ranting about gt politics and the ps program. :)

  (12:06 a.m.)

  i don't know whether i'm just bad at keeping in touch with people, or whether they're bad at keeping in touch with me. it becomes harder and harder when i perceive little response. from james:

  My email subject is my new nickname for you... "The black hole of email." I send you email, and it seems like you rarely respond. :-) But I write something insulting AE's in my online diary and you respond. That's pretty funny. :-)

  his remark is accurate, i have to admit, which is too bad, because he sends me email on a regular basis. even if it's just to say hi, which is more than i can say for most of my other friends.

  but people have different communication styles, and that's something that i eventually got used to. i wonder if this isn't the way it's "supposed" to be. carter's mom still gets together every year with her college roommates; i've always thought that sounds great, that that's just what i want to happen with my friends. but i wonder if it will. i mean, we see each other now, but eventually we won't be in the same cities, or we won't feel so disconnected by being apart. maybe it's up to me to be the instigator, to send the emails, to make the phone calls, and not worry if i don't get any in return. it probably is, but it doesn't make clicking "send" or picking up the phone any easier.

  i guess i just like the validation that comes from being on the receiving end. to know that i am thought about.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 05.20.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, May 19, 2002

  soggy, cold, and lots of fun

  so this morning i ran in the 91st annual bay to breakers race though san francisco. it went from--duh--the bay, to the breakers (pacific ocean). here's the course map:

  

  the day sucked--cold and rainy--but the race was a lot of fun, and i can now say that i've run 7.5 miles with 75,000 other people. yes, there were so many people. we got in line somewhere in the middle of the pack, and it took us 25 minutes just to get to the starting line; by the time we were passing mile 1, someone was winning the race with a time of 34 minutes. heh.

  the first few miles were slow going, and we had to slow to a fast walk quite a few times just because we couldn't get past the mobs of people ahead of us. but around the hayes street hill--a big, steep san francisco-style hill--the crowd thinned out enough so that there was room to move. we ran the rest of the way, finishing in an "official" time of about 2 hours. but since it took us so long to get to the start line, i timed myself and clocked in at 1:32:09. not bad at all, considering how slow we had to go for the first few miles.

  and while running, we got to look at all the crazy people in costumes. let's see, i saw batman and robin...a girl dressed as a toaster...the fallopian swim team (sarcastic laugh)...a few vikings...a guy with yoda on his back...and far too many old fat and completely naked men. the most common "costume" was just to run in something zany--ball gowns, funny hats, colorful tights, tiaras, wings, etc. and let's see, the most entertaining thing we passed was the house on the hayes street hill, where 5 gay men were standing out front dressed as the village people and doing coordinated dances to "ymca" and "macho man." they were awesome.

  anyway, it was a lot of fun, while running. once i stopped i got cold and started to shiver, and being completely soaked didn't help. it felt so good to get home and shower. :) in any case, woohoo! i ran farther than i have ever run before!

  finally, from friday night--a group shot of everyone who danced till 6 in the morning!

  

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 05.19.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, May 18, 2002

  dancing the night away

  i didn't mean to do it, i swear. i didn't mean to stay at big dance until it ended at 6 a.m. i meant to leave after 4 hours or so...around 1 or 2 a.m. i wasn't going to stay all night. i was going to be sensible, get some sleep.

  ah, but i didn't. i stayed. i did the waltz, the polka, the lindy hop. the cha-cha, jitterbug. line dances. conga lines. and now my feet hurt, and my eyes are dry, and my shoes are sticky.

  and i had so much fun.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 05.18.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, May 17, 2002

  attack of the clones

  so nick and i saw star wars: episode 2 last night. i have two major comments. one, it was much better than episode 1. two, george lucas should never again be allowed to do romantic scenes of any kind. anytime anakin and natalie portman made googly eyes at each other, i wanted to laugh out loud. the "love" scenes were so incredibly cheesy.

  but the rest of the movie was really entertaining. all the chase and fight scenes were awesome, and watching yoda kick some ass was maybe the highlight of the entire movie. i liked both ewan macgregor and natalie portman better this time around, though the guy who played anakin could have been better. but all the dialogue seemed less wooden and forced--definitely a good thing. all in all, i guess i can sum it up in this statement: i'd consider seeing episode 2 a second time in the theater; i never want to see episode 1 again anywhere.

  anyway. that's my two minute review of the movie.

  i love fridays. today i slept until 11:30. technically i have class at 2:15, but i never go because it's so easy. it's an undergraduate class about planetary exploration...a subject which i already know a lot about. this afternoon i'm going shopping with emily and her friend christina, who is visiting. i need a new bathing suit. hmm.

  tonight is big dance! it starts at 9 and ends at 6 a.m. i don't know if i'll be able to make it all night, but we'll see how it goes. i know it will be a lot of fun...just tiring as well. :)

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 05.17.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, May 16, 2002

  one year ago

  "may 16, 2001"

  "third day on the train. we have been debating amongst ourselves whether we could have gotten away with buying only the 15-day eurail pass instead of the 1-month that we got, but the flexibility of being able to hop on a train to anywhere and not worry about schedule or price is unbeatable. train travel is actually a lot of fun. you get to meet or observe random people, and see lots of countryside...you'd never be able to do it any other way. i wish trains were a more feasible option in the united states.

  ///

  i think it must be travel season for german schoolchildren or something--everywhere we go, there are sizeable groups of 14- or 16-year-olds. perhaps they have some kind of spring break? i'm not sure.

  the other interesting note about germany is the number of bicycles! when we left the train station in heidelberg, there must have been literally 500 bikes parked outside, some locked up, but some just sitting with the kickstand as its support. i saw lots of bikes in stuttgart as well, and have seen them sitting at the train stations--hauptbahnhof--we're passing on our way to fussen.

  in the distance, i can see the alps! it's breathtaking and humorous all in one glance--we're riding through flat plains and farmland, seeing cows grazing in pastures, and then suddenly in the distance i noticed huge, snow-capped mountains! they just rise up to these majestic heights seemingly out of nowhere! i can't wait to get to fussen and be in the middle of them. i was hesitant to miss munich, but this castle should be great. if nothing else, it is fun to pass through these small german towns. it reminds me of the bus ride in stratford-upon-avon a week ago, when we sat among the schoolchildren...just like we are doing at the moment on this train.

  we just passed a field full of yellow flowers and puffy dandelions. these are the kinds of towns that you'd stop at if you truly wanted a random experience. it'd help if we knew german though!

  but geez, kids everywhere. becca and i are caught in the crossfire between two boys and a few girls throwing bigs of paper back and forth at each other. "the middle school mating ritual," as becca called it, and rightly so. it's annoying to get pelted every once in a while, but also kind of funny. the paper balls are getting bigger--if i were at home, i'd have taken the newspaper away from the kids by now, but here, i don't even know how to talk to them. anyway, a few just got off the train, so the frenzy of flying paper has calmed.

  ///

  this afternoon becca and i visited neuschwanstein, one of the many extravagant castles built by mad king ludwig ii of bavaria in the 1800s. it is the castle disney based cinderella's castle on, and it was absolutely beautiful. building it was so expensive that ludwig ran out of money, was declared insane, and "mysteriously died." all work on the castle stopped immediately, and so many of the rooms are unfinished. the ones that were completed are extravagantly decorated with paintings depicting richard wagner's operas, wood carvings, and ornate chadeliers. the throne room even had a delicate mosaic floor showing all kinds of animals. it was really neat to see.

  fussen has turned out to be very nice. after checking into the hostel--which is sparkling clean! :) --we wandered back into town. instead of a full dinner, we opted for coffee and ice cream sundaes at an outdoor cafe. it was sooo relaxing to just sit and sip and talk, with the alps providing the background scenery.

  kimberly is in town somewhere, but she missed getting a bed at the hostel because they're full. we hope to find her tomorrow.

  this has been maybe the best day of the trip so far for me. we began in stuttgart with a jelly doughnut--ich bin ein berliner!--and ended with a pleasant walk to the hostel. the building is in a lovely and quaint location, hidden in a neighborhood along the railroad tracks. we even laid some german coins and an american dime on the tracks to have them flattened by the next train. that made us giggle like kids.

  tomorrow we hike around fussen and then head to munich to meet with carter, kent, and hopefully kimberly."

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 05.16.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, May 15, 2002

  not again

  uh oh.

  cool.

  (12:18 a.m.)

  i must be good luck for the braves. :) after losing two straight to the giants on monday and tuesday, they won today with me in the lower level on the first base side. no one would go with me to the game, but i went anyway. it was a lot of fun. i bought my ticket off a scalper who i talked from $40 down to $28 (the face value of the ticket) and bought a program so i could keep score. my seat was next to these nice old men, season ticket holders who knew a lot about baseball and the giants. combined with my knowledge of the braves, we had quite a time. maddux was brilliant in eight strong innings, giving up only one run--unearned--in the ninth. smoltzie came on in relief after maddux gave up a few hits and, after giving up the single that drove in the unearned run, proceeded to shut down the giants for a 6-1 win. good game. beautiful day.

  good run tonight, 4.2 miles, 42:32. i'm running in bay to breakers on sunday, which is a 12k--7.5 miles. i doubt i will be able to run the whole way, as that is farther than i've ever gone, and since i long ago promised to go out dancing saturday night with emily and company for her birthday and will be tired. but i'm looking forward to it anyway.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 05.15.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, May 14, 2002

  phone etiquette

  last night was weird. i went to sleep thinking about the earthquake, then my phone rang at 5:30 a.m. i didn't pick up, and they didn't leave a message. grrr. then my phone rang again at 7:00. didn't answer again, this time it was the woman from village on the lake apartments in houston, who left a message, and obviously has not been listening the two times that i've told her i'm in california right now and therefore am 2 hours behind houston time. grrr again.

  so yeah, i have my california earthquake story now. brian, who has lived in the bay area all his life, was quite amused at those of us in the aero/astro library exclaiming about experiencing our first earthquake. he laughed and said "oh that was nothing!" he said what we felt was probably about a magnitude 3, since we were so far from the epicenter. he said the strongest he's ever felt is a 5.7 (he was out of town for the 1989 quake). alberto was around for the '89 one, which was 6.9 or 7.1 or something, and so he was even more amused by our "newbie" reaction. oh well. even so, the one yesterday was the strongest in this area in 10 years, and i still think it was exciting.

  i'm tired of being teased at breakers and told i have the mind of a 13-year-old. grrr. dorks. tonight i made cherry cobbler, which turned out quite yummy. i had to pitt all the cherries, and as luck would have it, one that i missed turned up in my piece of cobbler. i chomped down on the cherry and ow! it was funny.

  hmm, i'm trying to think if there's anything i need to do tonight. i got my 271 homework assignment done this afternoon, so that's out of the way...yeah, i don't think i have any more homework due until friday. cool! that means i should definitely be able to go to the braves-giants game tomorrow afternoon. i'm going by myself, because no one will come with me. weird, eh? i have asked more than a dozen people, and they either 1) are busy, or 2) find baseball extremely boring. wackos.

  oh. since i posted that entry about the possibility of ending this online adventure, i've gotten three emails--including one from someone i've never met--telling me that they enjoy reading, and i should keep writing. so i guess i will.

  (11:41 p.m.)

  got back from a run a while ago. i only went 2.5 miles, but i ran at a 9:52 pace. good for me. faster is what i want to be. i have a month before i want to be able to do a 5k in a half hour or less. that's a pace of 9:40. i'm almost there. 12 seconds faster per mile, and 0.6 more miles and i'm there.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 05.14.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, May 13, 2002

  i felt the earth move under my feet

  ohmygod, EARTHQUAKE!

  until last september, i had lived my whole life on the eastern seaboard. i can deal with hurricanes, tornados, massive thunderstorms, and other assorted natural disasters, but when the ground starts moving, man that is just freaky.

  pertinent details: it happened 29 seconds after 10:00, magnitude 5.2, epicenter about 4.7 miles deep and 3 miles southwest of gilroy; gilroy is about 45 miles southeast of stanford. it was felt all the way up the peninsula, and even on the other side of the golden gate bridge. here in my room, i felt it for...maybe 5 seconds? long enough for me to realize that it was an earthquake and wonder whether i should move, but short enough that i didn't even get up from my chair.

  

  from the maps, it appears that there was sort of an increase in ground acceleration around palo alto, so maybe we felt it more strongly than most. my friend aaron fell down in his room. either way. at the sharks game in san jose, it lasted for about 10 seconds and made the area lights shake for a while. closer to the epicenter, it broke some windows and set off some alarms. disrupted some phone service in san jose.

  freaky, man.

  here are some links, for those of you who are interested:

  • earthquake map
  • seismograph charts
  • possibility of aftershocks
  • intensity map
  • sf chronicle online article
  • ground acceleration
  • did you feel it?

  wow. i have never felt an earthquake before. california. what a strange place i'm living in. :) always something exciting. all year i've been saying i thought it'd be cool to feel an earthquake...not a big one, just strong enough to feel, not to cause any damage. i guess i got my "wish." so that's nice, i suppose. only now i don't want to feel any more!

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 05.13.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, May 12, 2002

  all my friends

  lately i've been having second thoughts about this whole online journal thing. there are advantages to it, and reasons that i enjoy keeping a diary online and in public...but there are disadvantages as well. i'm considering ending this online adventure and just going back to my webpage. problem? i might miss it. solution? i don't know.

  anyway. if anyone reads this and feels strongly for or against web journals, feel free to email me.

  went out with a bunch of aero/astro people tonight for cecile, valerie, and manuel's birthdays. we went to kan zeman, this lebanese/middle eastern restaurant up on haight street in the city. yup, haight as in haight-ashbury, former home of hippes and druggies and dead-heads. the neighborhood was thus quite entertaining, and the restaurant was fantastic. we sat on cushions on the floor beneath two poles and a lot of draped fabric. it was dark, lit by candles. there was a belly dancer. very cool atmosphere.

  

  i really like the aero/astro group. never have i had a group of friends so diverse, in both ethnicity and in age. they are just a really fun bunch to hang out with. tonight, for instance, i found out that takumi (in addition to being adorable) has a really great singing voice.

  tomorrow i have a big decision to make.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 05.12.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, May 11, 2002

  on this perfect day when nothing can go wrong

  {happy sigh}

  the past 24 hours have been perfect.

  they involved:

  • dancing with emily, nick, sean, and susan at the casa italiana party until the police broke it up for being too noisy (boo police)
  • laughing with mike and kyle on our way out
  • harassing the late night jack in the box drive-thru people
  • hitting the sack at 3:30 and sleeping till noon
  • cruising across campus in a borrowed green convertible
  • having a turkey sandwich and cheetos for lunch at breakers
  • lying in the sun at the pool for 3 hours with nick, susan, and two hot swedish guys (david and petter, woowoo)
  • not sunburning my lovely pale freckled english skin, thanks to my expert (and liberal) application of spf 30 sunscreen
  • reading the latest sports illustrated, which has an article about my favorite random baseball player, padres closer trevor hoffman
  • talking to my parents, even if they were stressing me out about my move
  • playing soccer for the aero/astro intramural team , finding out that we were skins this week, and seeing all my teammates with their shirts off ;)
  • an, ahem, "healthy" dinner and a jamocha shake at arby's
  • hanging out and stretching with nick
  • laughing at curt
  • going for a good, hilly 3+ mile run at a decent pace of about 10:30
  • taking a long shower and shaving my leggies
  • heading downstairs to watch saturday night live

  {happy sigh}

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 05.11.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, May 10, 2002

  there's that word again..."passion"

  "of those to whom much is given, much is required. and we have all been given a great deal. think of all those who are unable to read. think of all those who will never see a university classroom. and remember every day how lucky you are to be where you sit today. and remember to do something with your life that makes you happy. it may be in journalism, or it may not. doesn't matter. whatever it is, find your passion and hold on to it with both hands."

  (12:15 p.m.)

  

  i am kong.

  strong and passionate, i tend to be misunderstood, sometimes even feared. i don't want to fight, i don't want to cause trouble, all i ask is a little love, and a little peace. if i don't get what i want, i get angry, and throw barrels and flaming oil at whatever's stopping me.

  (1:41 p.m.)

  "packing, remembering all the craziness from this past year and looking forward to a much needed summer vacation. i can't wait for fall though because the craziness will only multiply and the time will only be better. i can't believe freshman year is over."

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 05.10.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, May 09, 2002

  so i'm not the only one who thinks she's always squinting...

  this is by far the funniest one-liner i have heard in a really long time, courtesy some guy named zach russo and espn.com's page 2:

  "if french stewart and renee zellweger had a child, would that kid be blind?"

  freaking hilarious, in my opinion. made me laugh out loud. good story.

  my fantasy baseball team, the yahoo-drafted one, is on its way back to the cellar after a burst of glory a week ago. i have moved all the way up to 4th place out of 12; now i'm at number 7 and falling. i'd trade for new players, except i have no one to trade. oh well, at least i'm still king of the hill in the houston-people league. oh yeah.

  i made up the 279 midterm this afternoon, and i think it went well. i was surprised by a question on greenwich's right ascension, and how it changes over the years, but i think i may have worked out the answer. (meaning i worked out something that made sense in my head, but it remains to be seen whether the answer was actually right or not.) it was a 4 part question, and i knew that the answer to one of the parts was "the period of the sawtooth is four years, because of the way we use leap years to readjust our calendar." so i just took the concept of a leap year and went running with it. hope i'm right.

  anyway. yeah, i know, listening to a description of my test-taking experience is so exciting, right?

  i'm hungry. good thing dinner is soon. tonight i really want to see a movie. maybe i'll go.

  (11:08 p.m.)

  i'm so pumped. i'm such a geek. a few days ago i finally reached the point of no return--when my hard drive was completely full and there was nothing i was willing to delete. so last night i went out and got a great deal on a sparkling new 120 gigabyte drive. i installed it tonight (and thoroughly impressed my english-major roommate, who i think had never seen the inside of a computer before), and transferred all my pictures and mp3s to the new drive. i know--funny isn't it? that i had to buy a new freaking hard drive just to hold my digital pictures and mp3s? i had long ago lost track of how much music i have on my computer, but it turns out that i have somewhere in the neighborhood of 7 gigabytes of it. yup. my c drive (13 gigs) went from being completely full to being less than half full, while all the files barely make a dent in my new enormous d drive. this make me quite amused.

  such a geek.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 05.09.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, May 08, 2002

  my apartment, my space

  nice, relaxing and work-free afternoon, but i forgot that i have to make up my orbital dynamics midterm tomorrow. {sigh} so i'll have to study this afternoon and evening. however, i understand the material quite well, so hopefully it will only take 3 hours or so of study on my part.

      i like this person's diary. no particular reason. just find it interesting.

      my room is a mess again. i feel like i clean a lot, but it never gets any less messy. this is probably due to the fact that my definition of "clean" is much closer to "move the piles around" and so nothing actually gets thrown out. heh. i'll have to work on that once i move to houston, or my apartment will become a black hole for stuff, and that is definitely not what i want. but speaking of stuff...i've decided to get the one bedroom with study instead of just 1br, because it will be really nice to have an extra room for all my projects and things. so that i don't have to have my computer in my living room or bedroom. so that i can close the door to the study and see nothing but my beautiful, tidy apartment. so that i don't feel like i'm living like a college student anymore. i can hardly wait! :)

  it is absolutely beautiful today. finally it is warm again. 70 degrees and sunny sunny sunny. i may take a study break to lay in the grass.

  (11:47 p.m.)

  there are too many days where i forget how lucky i am to be loved by incredible people. ugh, that sounds so cheesy.

  we all live our lives and deal with what comes in the best way that we know how. i am silly to ever be jealous, ordisapproving. or anything other than understanding and supportive.

  this world is crazy. school ends, cars crash, buildings fall, jobs disappear. school ends again. we never know what will happen tomorrow. but i think we'll be ok.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 05.08.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, May 07, 2002

  this is why karen is really smart

  i like what karen wrote today, in response to the aforementioned "graduation anniversary":

  "i think that most of us have finally found peace with our decisions and our present situation. they aren't the same, and mostly they aren't as good as they were only just a year ago. but they are reality, and they have the promise of being really good."

  yes. "the promise of being really good." that is what i am waiting for so impatiently. for that promise to arrive. i am scared that the more i want it, the farther away it flies. i admire christina because she is so good at living in the moment...or at least pretending that she is living in the moment. it makes me happy to think that she really is. i know even she has her moments of doubt, but...i envy her ability to always make the best of whatever situation she finds herself in.

  i'm glad i went to atlanta this past weekend. i'm glad i'm back in california. i still harbor some powerful longings for the past, but i also know i can never have it back. and really, even though my life is more in limbo than it has ever been before...i can't say with certainty that i would go back. sometimes i still miss it so much it hurts, but i can't say that i would go back.

  we have to keep on keeping on, and move down that foggy road. i think i'll make it.

  (10:46 a.m.)

  almost fell asleep in class this morning. not good. anyway. it seems other people are doing a good job of describing my own feelings. this is from the online journal of a guy i know though others, an acquaintance, really, and so i will not put his name here. instead, i will just quote what he said that struck a chord:

  "this is all very funny to me because when i was in high school i was such an introvert, but now i feel like i feed off the energy of having close friends that i can trust and be comfortable around. i know that there are millions of friendships between people who "know" each other, and would say hi if they met in the store, but i cherish the close friendships between people who make me smile when i see them, and who i know i can do the same."

  that is a rather perfect description of the biggest change that i have undergone in the last six years. sometimes i don't remember how to feed off my own energy, but other times i do. i like those times.

  (2:39 p.m.)

  lots of updates today. this time though, i'm not quoting anybody. oh well, i'm sure the few people who read this will be disappointed. wah. :)

  so counting crows are coming out with their new album on june 25. woohoo! they played a few songs from it at music midtown on saturday, and i actually recognized them--from when leila and i saw them in concert last summer! it was quite odd...i had completely forgotten that they were even working on a new album, much less that i had actually heard a few of the tracks already. but cool. i like the new ones.

  i'm about to call one of the apartment complexes in houston...oooh, big step! by the end of the week, i should have an apartment. i'm slightly nervous because of the whole commitment and contract thing...but really pumped to be making my preparations. being in atlanta this weekend made me even more excited about getting to houston. i'm have no idea why, but it did. anyway. must call. then time for yoga.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 05.07.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, May 06, 2002

  reflections on a year of the real world

  have you ever noticed that it's easier to write when you are sad, tired, or confused? when i'm happy, the words just don't come. i guess if i ever do write a book, it should be a tragedy, not a comedy. a comedy from me would be barely the length of a short story. a tragedy would rival victor hugo for length. but where was i? oh yes....the anniversary.

  it has been one year since i graduated from college. i know that i'm still in school, but in my mind, my college life ended and the real world began one year ago. i came to stanford to take a five year job which has since had its contract shortened to a mere nine months. i love california though. every morning i wake up trying to find another way that i could stay there forever, every time i drive down the road and see the hills and the sky and the people, i want to freeze time and stay in the moment. the funny thing is that i could stay, if i wanted. i don't have to move to houston. i don't have to stay in school either. i could just stay in california. find an apartment. find a job. find friends. find someone to love.

  i could just stay.

  but i'm not. not right now. i have a strange feeling that i will be back, that this is not the last time i will live on that peninsula nestled between the bay and the sea, teeming with interesting people and interesting things. but i will not stay there now.

  i am excited about moving to houston. i am excited about getting an apartment, making some money, knowing that the next time i move, it will be my decision alone. most of all, i am excited about getting back to the one place where i have always been true to myself. if only my friends could see me in houston, if only they could see me when i am really, truly me. it's not that i'm some other person outside of houston...i guess a better explanation is that when i am elsewhere, i sometimes feel pressures to act a certain way, or rather react a certain way. as if i'm supposed to fill a certain role.

  if only it were easier to be true to myself in places other than houston.

  only i don't feel that way so much anymore. i don't care about acting or reacting like i'm supposed to. i worry less about doing the wrong thing in front of someone, about not acting a certain way because of a tumultuous past.

  one year since graduation. perhaps the most unexpected thing is that i don't miss atlanta anymore. i used to think that atlanta was the perfect city, that i could picture myself living here for the rest of my life. but when christina's car rounded the bend on i-85 on thursday and the skyline appeared in front of me, i didn't feel like i was coming home. for the first time in many years, i didn't feel like i was coming home.

  at georgia tech, i learned so many things about life, and who i am. i grew and changed in ways i can't even put into words, and in ways that i probably don't even remember. despite all that, i think the past year has been even bigger. i have changed more in the past year than in the previous five. these days, i'm scared that the people who mean the most to me don't know who i am anymore, because i'm not with them. because while they still laugh and talk and see each other every other day, i've gone through the first year of the real world without them. and they haven't been there while i've been growing and changing.

  there is more to say, but it doesn't belong here.

  i wonder where i'm going. i wish there were someone willing to listen.

  a year after graduation, i have quite a bit to reflect on. i'm better. but fortunately for anyone who reads this, i still have quite a bit of confusion. makes for good writing, right? ;)

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 05.06.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, May 05, 2002

  update from atlanta

  so i'm in atlanta. heh. that should explain the lack of entries over the past few days. get me away from my computer, and i don't update. here's the recap:

  i'm having a nice time here, a really nice time. i arrived thursday afternoon and was met at the airport by a sign saying "beavers and ducks," kermit the frog, and oh yeah--christina in a graduation cap, kent in a graduation gown, and carter holding the sign. it was quite funny. i spent that evening with christina, kent, chris and my sister, and spent my last night in christina's apartment. friday christina was off to spend time with her family, and i met up with kent and carter for a matinee of spiderman. it was quite good, i'd see it again. i wanna be spiderman. i wanna be able to swing from place to place.

  that evening we had dinner with james at fellini's, and katie, kent, james and i headed to kent's apartment to play super smash brothers. i was quite excited to win a game, until i found out that kent had let us win. ha. he was really good. he beat me, katie, and the computer, 1-on-3. it was funny.

  yesterday was graduation, which was marked by the high points of seeing chris, christina, courtney, and jen walk across the stage, and then see the power go out and the coliseum go dark. afterwards, carter and i had lunch with my parents and katie, then headed to the big graduation party. i had a really nice time there, seeing people i haven't seen in a while and just watching everyone enjoy themselves. last night we even got to go to j.r.'s apartment complex, which backed up to the 99x stage at music midtown, so we got to watch the counting crows (from a distance, but still cool)! after that we had a late dinner at apres diem, and spent our last few hours in ulc 119. by then we were all exhausted, so it was bedtime.

  i'm headed back to san francisco tomorrow night, but i must say, this weekend has exceeded all expectations. i was worried about being in the way of the graduates, but that turned out not to be a problem, and instead, i have gotten to spend time with some of my very best friends. it's funny to think that it has been a whole year now since i graduated...it seems to have gone by in a blink. (we've got to leave now, so i'll have to finish this thought later.)

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 05.05.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, May 01, 2002

  time to shop at a store for grown-ups

  wow, i forgot to update yesterday... and i had stuff to write about too!

  i went to old navy yesterday between class and yoga, in search of another pair of low-rise, boot-cut, dark blue jeans exactly like the pair--my favorite pair of jeans--that i bought there a year ago. well, i guess i should have known better than to hope old navy would carry the same type of jeans two years in a row. oh, they had tons of low-rise boot-cut jeans, some even dyed dark blue...but they were all in that style that seems to be popular these days where the fronts and backs of the thighs, and the butt, are stonewashed or something. i mean, there are two obvious stripes on the front and back of the thighs where the color is "faded" and washed out. am i the only person who thinks this fashion looks absolutely horrible? ugh. so no luck finding the jeans i wanted.

  you know, i used to really like old navy, and i could always find something there that i really liked. lately, i never find anything good there. i think they have changed. they used to be like the gap, but cheaper. i like the gap, because even though they follow trends, they also have a way of sticking with classic styles that always look good. old navy, on the other hand, has begun to cater to teenyboppers, and teenyboppers alone. it's disappointing, but i think i'm going to have to say goodbye to old navy.

  anyway. last night at breakers we cooked the meal i planned, and it turned out ok which made me happy. we tried this recipe for "sweet orange chicken" and though it looked very strange, in the end it just turned out to taste sort of like sweet and sour chicken. but of course we had cupcakes with cream cheese icing for dessert, so that made it all better. ;)

  today has been really busy so far. i had a midterm in my planetary exploration class and it was really easy. yay! this afternoon i ran all sorts of errands and...dum dum dum...i made my last "extraneous" purchase of the year. this means i am not allowed to buy any more expensive toys for myself until i have moved to houston, begun to save serious money, and can furnish my entire apartment. expensive toys will now be replaced by even-more-expensive furniture. yes, furnishing my apartment now becomes my priority.)

  so what is my toy? a digital camera! yay! it's a canon powershot s30, if you're interested. i'm pumped.

  anyway, i haven't had too much time to play around with it yet, but i'll post some pictures when i get a chance. at the moment, it's time to head over to steve's for a big group dinner with steve, his fiance fiona (who is visiting), mike, aaron, bree, chris, john, etc. should be fun.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 05.01.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, April 29, 2002

  when i first started running

  i had another great run tonight...slow, but long. 4.6 miles to be exact. go me! all day i'd been saying to myself: "i'm going running tonight..." and then during flute choir, i started thinking about where i wanted to run. i thought about just doing my 5k route, but then as i drove home i began to wonder how far it would be to run to mayfield, past roble, all the way to lyman, and then back via junipero serra and campus drive...so i watched my mileage, estimated 4.6 miles, and bam--i came home, changed clothes, and ran the route. about a mile and a half or two miles into the run, i hit a groove, and just felt great. it lasted for the rest of my way home, and has put me in a really good mood at the moment.

  becca and i are discussing training plans to get us ready for either the disney world marathon (in january) or the motorola marathon in austin (in february). jen is thinking about trying to do the big sur marathon next april. wow, if i knew someone running the big sur race, i would be quite tempted to come back out here for it. jen would do it faster than me, of course, but still...

  anyway. i must sound as if i am becoming a crazed runner. heh. i don't know about that, but i am starting to enjoy running more than i used to...i can see how some people call it "addictive."

  i didn't do much in the way of "real" work today. went to class, had a yummy lunch at breakers (alberto got bagels, the good kind of turkey, and the good kind of yogurt, woohoo). went to my easy planetary exploration class for the first time in, um, a while, to hear about our midterm coming up on wednesday. it shouldn't be hard. after that class i goofed off, surfed the web, etc etc etc. dinner, flute, and running. and bedtime. pretty standard monday.

  i need to do laundry.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 04.29.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, April 28, 2002

  my dream

  most women want to look like models. they want straight hips and pouty lips and hair that makes the world move in slow motion so you can see it ripple with every head toss. i guess i must be an exception to the rule.

  i have this dream. in it, i'm an athlete. i'm strong and tan and fit. i have muscles, not freakishly big like a body builder, just solid. i never let the ball get past me when i play defense in soccer. i can produce that "thok" sound of a baseball hitting the pocket of a glove. i can hit three-pointers with consistency. i can bike to the top of page mill road and back.

  and i can run marathons.

  i did my 6th road race this morning--my 5th 5k. i finished in 33:09, slower than i had hoped, but the course was also more hilly than any i have run before. it is discouraging that i'm not getting any faster, especially since my goal is sub-30:00 by june... but i still think it's reachable. heh. today i got lapped by dozens of elementary school kids, so that was a new low. ;) still, if you want to see my name, go here and follow the links to the 5k overall results. i'm finisher #791 (out of 2193). i get a kick out of seeing my name on the web, at least.

  the amazing thing about this morning, though, was what happened about an hour and a half after i finished my race. i stuck around and claimed a good spot by the rails to watch the first marathoners come in. amazing. how do they run that fast, for that far?? the top male was jonathan ndambuki (he's kenyan) in 2:18:05. the top female was julieanne white in 2:51:10. the course is quite difficult, with many from sea level...it's not a course where any records are going to be broken. in fact, the second-place male was a full 7 minutes behind the winner.

  still, it was so cool watching them finish. i'd never seen the end of a marathon before, and the speed and endurance of these people just blew my mind. i want to run a marathon. i'm thinking i could a january or february 2003 race...with an off-the-top-of-my-head goal of finishing in under 5:00:00 (maybe i could do it slightly faster, like 4:45:00). how cool would that be? i think i may just make that my goal.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 04.28.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, April 27, 2002

  food is good....foooood

  i'm hungry, and have nothing in the cupboard. well, ok, that's not entirely true, but i guess i'm longing for a quizno's sandwich or something. and that is certainly not in my kitchen. instead, i have oatmeal, yogurt, and cereal. but no milk. in a funny way, i am sort of looking forward to having to learn how to cook when i get to houston and am on my own.

  of course, there is a quizno's down the street. perhaps i'll take a little bike ride in the unusual april chill. (i miss the beautiful warm weather of the beginning of last week!) yet i'm feeling sort of poor these days, so i'll probably just go downstairs and eat oatmeal and yogurt and plain cereal. oh--i just remembered i have doritos too. gods, how un-balanced is that meal?

  tomorrow i'm running in a 5k down in carmel. i'm going to have to get up really early to make it there on time (the race starts at 7:30), but the scenery should be great, and there will be lots of people. the bigger event of the day is actually the big sur marathon, so it's quite a huge thing. i hope i can find races to run in houston as easily as i can find them here. i'm worried that the road-race-every-weekend phenomenon is confined to these health-crazed californians...who happen to be a really great source of motivation for me. i don't want to lose that in texas.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 04.27.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, April 26, 2002

  will we make it to half dome?

  so my proposed trip with becca to camp in yosemite and hike to the top of half dome is not going so well. never having been up there before (and not knowing for sure until today that becca was coming), i didn't even think about making campground reservations. the weekend we want to go? yeah, memorial day. we want to hike the coolest trail in yosemite on the most crowded weekend of the year. so surprise, surprise...there are no openings in any of the campgrounds. and all of the wilderness passes are gone as well.

  so i'm not quite sure what we'll do. we obviously didn't think far enough ahead, but i have a feeling that in order to get a camping reservation for that weekend, we needed to try months ago. anyway, all i can do at the moment is call every day and hope i catch a cancellation at the right moment.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 04.26.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, April 25, 2002

  help, i've fallen and i can't get up!

  mmm. my bed is beckoning, telling me to come rest my tired feet and throbbing knees and aching back. yes, it's official, i am the mind of a 24-year-old college student trapped in the body of a 70-year-old woman. i need one of those med alert things. "i've fallen and i can't get up!" ;)

  have you ever noticed that it's a lot easier to write negative, complaint-ridden entries that to write happy, smiley ones? seriously though, it has been a long day. i had class, went to the library to finish my homework for tomorrow, ate lunch. came home, went to target, ran late, rode furiously to yoga, worked up a good sweat there. rode my bike to wolf to drop off my roll of film, rode home, chilled for half an hour, then headed to dinner. from dinner, it was off to roble for three hours of dancing (that explains the tired feet).

  the dancing was fun though. after dozens of tries, i have finally learned charleston, and can do it in all sorts of variations without stomping all over my partner's toes and kicking him in the shins. this is a very good thing, as most guys are wary about dancing with you again after you've maimed them the week before. there is this one small asian guy that i really like to dance with though, because he always makes me feel good. tonight he told me he was thoroughly confused by what we were learning and i said "oh you'll get it." and then we danced together, and he did get it, and he turned back to me and said "i think you're just a really good follow, it always works with you. i should dance with you every time." yay! that put a big smile on my face for the rest of class.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 04.25.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, April 24, 2002

  pounding the pavement

  i had a great run tonight; jen would be so proud of me. i went 4.1 miles and enjoyed almost every minute of it. my legs were a bit sore, but it really didn't bother me all that much once i got going. also, i ran a new route along page mill road that i had never run before, which made things interesting. i like to sight-see while i'm running. :)

  today was quite productive. after class, i had a lovely lunch of tuna fish and doritos at breakers (odd combination, but i learned it from nick and emily, and i like the way the doritos add crunch to my sandwiches). from there, i headed back to durand to meet with steve and paul about our rocket injector research, and steve and i have a much better idea of where we're going now. from there it was up to the library, where i knocked out this week's aa271 homework and shared some free cake. chocolate with raspberry stuff in the middle. mmmm.

  i ate dinner, came home, watched dawson's, went running, and now here i am. i even have time to read before i go to bed, which is really nice. all week i've been waiting for a night when i have time to read, or a day when i have time to lounge in the sunshine, but my schedule hasn't been cooperative until now. i'm looking forward to the weekend, and hopefully going to a movie at some point.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 04.24.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, April 23, 2002

  fantasy baseball...reality baseball

  i am becoming obsessed with fantasy baseball. but at least i'm not a fantasy elitist like some people i know...ahem...carter...

  man, yoga was tough today. the combination of the warm weather outside and my general fatigue produced a lot of sweat and twitching muscles. my balance was off today, perhaps from being tired. i'm not totally sure why. my legs have been hurting lately, and my knee has been sore, so i think i'm gonna skip my run tonight and give my shins and calfs and achilles tendons a rest. i ran 3.4 miles last night, so that was good. and i'll go running tomorrow night again.

  ooh. time for 24! only 4 hours left in the show...

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 04.23.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, April 22, 2002

  more bursar woes

  love nintendo? check this out. awesome.

  i think i've made a decision on what to do with my summer. that's a good thing, and making tentative plans makes me less stressed. i don't know why i'm stressed anyway. i shouldn't be. i am having quite a lovely spring so far, with many visitors and gorgeous weather.

  i think my roommate kate has ears that are alternatively super-sensitive and deaf. she listens to the tv super loud (i'm talking rock concert in the living room loud), yet asks me to close my door when i'm talking on the phone at midnight because it's keeping her awake. it's really quite odd.

  i'm looking forward to yoga tomorrow. i went running tonight and my legs were really tight, so it will be good to stretch them in class.

  other than that, let's see... i'm in love with my new mp3 player; it is nice and tiny and great for running. my fantasy team had a good day and jumped back to within 1.5 points of first place.

  the bursar's office is still giving me crap, but hopefully everything will be fixed tomorrow. the problem? my registration was on hold because my health insurance wasn't paid...my health insurance money hasn't been processed because my registration is on hold...my registration was on hold because my health insurance wasn't paid...my health insurance money hasn't been processed because my registration is on hold... yeah, you'd think these people could actually communicate with each other and fix problems like this, but apparently not. the bursar's office and financial aid operate on two different computer systems. {sigh} yeah, that was genius. ugh. i have to say, stanford has a better reputation than georgia tech, but at least at tech i never had logistical problems like this. in that sense, i really miss being at an engineering school.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 04.22.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, April 21, 2002

  make way for ducklings

  well, alex and iffy and leila have all left, and i'm back to readjusting to school life. (translation: i need to do homework, but i'm procrastinating.) anyway, it was nice having visitors. i love being here in california...there is so much to do, and the area is so beautiful and scenic that it's impossible for anyone to be disappointed with their vacation here. :)

  alex pointed out that i neglected to mention one of the fun parts of the baseball game yesterday--all the free stuff we got, including baseball cards, and a's car flags. the car flags were especially exciting, as they gave us something to wave and cheer with during the game.

  this morning as i was speeding down 101 taking alex and iffy to the airport, we saw a duck and about 8 ducklings in the middle of the road. i was completely distraught. can you imagine something more evil than some adorable ducklings getting run over by a speeding car? i mean, yes, you have to wonder what the duck was thinking trying to lead its flock across 5 lanes of southbound traffic, but still... alex and iffy whipped their heads around and fortunately, the ducks were able to waddle like hell and escape to the side of the road. crisis avered. whew.

  ok. i really should go finish this homework assignment.

  (12:23 a.m.)

  tonight we saw the stanford production of "the magic flute," and i have to say, i was thoroughly impressed. the quality of the set, the orchestra, and especially the singing was just amazing. i could hardly believe i was listening to college students, and not a professional opera. perhaps the highest praise i can give the performance is to say that it made me want to see more operas. that is a feat indeed. bravo to all involved.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 04.21.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, April 20, 2002

  kevin appier sucks

  kevin appier is the bane of my existence. 2.2 innings pitched, 20.5 earned run average, 3 walks and hits per inning pitched...and my fantasy team is no longer in first place. suck.

  today was quite a lot of fun. we saw the a's beat the angels, wandered fisherman's wharf, and laughed hysterically after alex spilled his $9 beer in the bucket at joe's crab shack. i could never convey the humor in words, but i promise it was really really funny. we laughed for 5 minutes. oh, and our waiter was dressed like gambit from x-men. odd.

  ok. that's about it...iffy and alex and leila all leave tomorrow, so we're about to head to the hotel for a final night of partying.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 04.20.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, April 18, 2002

  announcement

  i'm sleepy. my relationship with the roommates is about to turn even more sour. that is all.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 04.18.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, April 17, 2002

  roommate frustration

  {sigh} i hate conflict. i think my roommates are developing a strong distaste for my visitors. i can understand their hesitance to keep dealing with people sleeping on the living room floor, but i also feel like it's a bit unfair of them to keep silent about their concern until the day before my friends arrive. ugh. what a mess.

  i emailed alex and iffy asking if they wouldn't mind considering a hotel room for friday and saturday nights, and alex, it turns out, does mind. in fact, i think he's rather upset with me for even suggesting it. granted, he doesn't know that leila is also coming, and so that may make a difference, but i can also understand his frustration. he is completely right when he says that he checked with me multiple times to make sure this was a good weekend. and i told him multiple times that it was. and as far as i knew, i was telling the truth.

  i told my roommates over a month ago that alex and iffy would be coming, so they knew there would be two people here this weekend. i told them last week that leila was also coming, so there would be a third. and yet unzi still waited until last night--a full week after i told them the situation and asked them to let me know if there was a problem--to tell me that she is also having a potential med school student stay on friday and saturday.

  i don't understand why she didn't tell me this earlier, so that i could have worked out plans with alex, iffy, and leila in advance. i don't want my roommates to hate me, but i also don't want to force my friends to spend money on a hotel after i previously told them they could all stay here.

  anyway. frustration. my roommates are decent people, but not exactly the most communicative pair in the world.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 04.17.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, April 16, 2002

  shots in the dark

  a cold front has come through and brought chilly weather again, though the sun has done a good job of staying out. : )

  let's see, what is there to report about today... well first, the combination of bursar's office and financial aid frustrated me to the point of tears. i have been trying to get my accounts settled for three weeks now, with little success. hopefully i have things almost cleared up though. second, i made strawberry shortcake for dessert at breakers tonight, and it was quite a hit. i had never made it before, and was pleased with the way it turned out. the cake was a bit too crumbly, but that was easily disguised with whipped cream and strawberries. heh. i am so tricky.

  last night i went running and found a pretty good route that is almost exactly a 5k. i think it's just a bit short--maybe by half a tenth of a mile or something. not much. in any case, it is the perfect length for a "normal" nightly run, so that made me happy. now i have good routes that are 2.2, 2.5, 3.1, 3.4 and 4.2 miles. i can pretty much pick and choose, depending on how i feel.

  jen has decided to come to stanford next year! i'm excited for her, and glad that she was able to make a decision. i know that will relieve some of the stress she was feeling.

  i forgot to mention one of the coolest parts of surfing on saturday--we saw a dolphin! a real, live dolphin. it was jumping through the waves about 100 feet away. very cool.

  as if this diary entry isn't jumpy enough. time to go.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 04.16.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, April 15, 2002

  tootle-ooo

  flute choir was nice tonight. i had been dreading going since it appeared that my parts this quarter would be quite boring, just like last quarter. i'm on bass flute for three different pieces, which usually equals dull parts. fortunately, not this time. we are playing a piece by louis moyse that actually features the bass and alto flutes in multiple places, which means you can actually hear me! and that my part is actually important! so that lifted my spirits a bit about my flute outlook this quarter.

  carter called this morning about 15 minutes after i got up and played me a song he had just written. well, the words were from a poem he wrote a long time ago, but he just put them to guitar today. he sang it for me over the phone. it was a good song, and his call made me really happy.

  this afternoon i walked to starbucks for a mocha frappuchino. mmm. i know, starbucks is so yuppie and cliched...but i love it. and i love walking there under green trees in the sunshine on cool beautiful days like today.

  then i came home and filed paperwork. ugh.

  this week i am looking forward to visitors, who get here on wednesday. :) more fun for me.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 04.15.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, April 14, 2002

  ow ow ow

  for the record, i don't recommend trying to run a 5k on the morning after you spent all afternoon learning how to surf. ow. i hurt in so many places right now. thankfully, typing doesn't involve moving my legs or lifting my arms. ;)

  anyway, i ran in a 5k down in morgan hill this morning and was just awful, chalking up my worst time yet, even worse than my first 5k ever. i ran 34:41. and when i say "ran," i really mean "ran/walked" because i just couldn't keep my poor body going. the course was perfectly flat, but it was also completely unshielded from the sun, which beat down on us the entire race. i got quite sweaty and icky. so i ran really badly.

  the odd kicker, however, is that i ended up getting a silver medal for finishing second among 19-29 year old females. obviously there weren't many girls 19-29 if i was able to finish second with my pathetic time, but still, it was neat to get a medal. also, i won a door prize--an opal gemstone. very random, but cool. so all in all, it was quite a nice time since my luck turned out to be great even if my legs weren't.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 04.14.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, April 13, 2002

  surfin' safari

  today i'm going surfing. hell, i figure i can try anything once, right? wish me luck.

  (8:20 p.m.)

  surfing was so much fun, and at the moment, i am so sore. steve, aaron, mike, howe, flo and i headed down to santa cruz, rented surfboards and wetsuits, and then drove a few more miles down to manresa beach, where the waves were 4-5 feet. i was worried about the temperature of the water being way too cold--it's at about 55 degrees--but with the wetsuits, i was completely comfortable. my feet got a bit numb, but i didn't notice. we waded out into the surf and paddled out to just beyond where the waves were breaking. that is tough work for arms. my biceps and triceps feel like jelly right now. i'm gonna go to the gym and start working out so that next time is easier.

  it took me a while to figure out the best way to balance on the board, both laying down and sitting on it. i got caught and pulled under one really big wave and swallowed a bunch of sea water and was getting really discouraged, when the perfect wave came along and i caught it and just shot towards shore. i was so pumped merely to have caught a wave that i didn't think to try to stand up right away, and so i only had time to get to my knees. but i rode it in, whooping and hollering the whole way with the biggest grin on my face.

  after that i was hooked, but unfortunately i didn't catch another wave that good all day. i caught a few smaller ones and managed to get to my knees again, but then i made the mistake of taking a break and sitting on the beach. after about 20 minutes i went back in the water, but my arms were pretty dead by then and as much as i paddled, i just wasn't going anywhere. i never really caught any more good waves during the second go-round.

  when we left, i was really tired. but it was so much fun! we headed back to stanford and steve, mike and i had to run to the intramural soccer game. it was a good thing that soccer doesn't require the use of arms, because i felt like i could barely lift them. i played some good defense though, and since that was the first time i've played soccer in years, i was pretty proud of myself.

  now i am exhausted, sweaty, salty, and happy. such a great day. i love california.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 04.13.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, April 12, 2002

  friday i'm in love

  ah. i am tired and don't feel like writing much, but you know it's a good day when it involves 1) yummy lunch, 2) shopping at the mall, 3) 50 cent happy hour margaritas, and 4) seeing one of your best friends have the time of his life performing on opening night of a musical. nick was marvelous. i was really proud of him. :)

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 04.12.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, April 11, 2002

  dancing queen

  whew. i had every good intention of going running tonight, but after three hours of dance classes, i am completely pooped. and i've decided three hours of dancing is enough exercise for today. since i couldn't take a regular dance class this quarter because none of them fit into my schedule, i am taking three different classes for the next few thursday--cross-step waltz at 7, cha-cha and salsa at 8, and swing at 9.

  i'm feeling quite good about it though. i missed last week's classes, but was able to keep up very well. in fact, when richard powers (the teacher) asked in the latin and swing classes for people who missed last week to raise their hands, he saw mine and said specifically to me, "oh, you'll be fine." this makes me happy because 1) he remembers me from social dance last quarter, 2) he remembers my dancing skill level, and 3) he thinks i am a good enough dancer to catch up very quickly. which i did. i really liked the classes tonight far better than social dance last quarter, mainly because the pace tonight was so much faster. it made things a lot less repetitive, and a lot more fun. i can't wait for jammix next week!

  one of the songs richard played during the cross-step waltz class was "amy hit the atmosphere" by the counting crows. i was quite tickled to see that i can waltz to the counting crows. (yes, i just used the word "tickled.")

  yoga was good today; i was able to keep up better than tuesday. i am looking forward to being more flexible. :)

  i am trying to decide whether i want to go to atlanta for the first weekend in may to see everyone as they graduate. i really want to go, but i don't want to be in the way, and i know graduation is a busy and stressful time. but i really want to go.

  yay! nick just called and is on his way over. i haven't seen him in days because of all his rehearsals.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 04.11.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, April 10, 2002

  my very own brush with death

  please excuse me, i am about to rant.

  i cannot believe the fucking drivers on this campus. i just came within a foot of being sprawled on the pavement after bouncing off the hood of a car that came roaring out of the rains parking lots as i was riding down escondido road. in the bike lane. and i had the right of way, i might add. and as required by law, i have a headlamp on my bike and it was turned on and shining quite brightly since i just replaced the batteries right before spring break. not to mention that the woman driving had a stop sign.

  she appeared to be slowing down, but then hit the gas and came peeling out of the driveway. seeing that she wasn't stopping, i grabbed my rear brakes, hard. my rear tire began to skid and so i grabbed the front brakes, at this point deciding that given the choices of 1) falling spectacularly off my bike or 2) being nailed by this car, i'd rather go over the handlebars and take my chances of landing semi-safely on the asphalt. fortunately for me i guess, the idiot woman finally saw me straining to stop, and hit her brakes, coming to a stop within a foot of my front tire. all this happens within about three seconds, but at least i'm still in one piece.

  the final straw? as i'm standing there clenching my brakes for dear life, heart pounding, mouth open, staring wide-eyed through the driver's window at the blonde moron inside, she has the nerve to shake her head and glare at me as if it were my fault! that's right. she shook her head impudently, glared, and then--still not realizing that she didn't and still doesn't have the right of way--accelerated past me.

  what a bitch. what an idiot. if i had been thinking straight, i might have gotten her license plate number in hopes of at least reporting the incident. instead, i was just thankful to not be sprawled on the road bleeding.

  aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! i am going to go attempt to calm down.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 04.10.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, April 09, 2002

  i can touch my toes

  today was pretty good. it wasn't boring, but it wasn't filled to the brim either. perhaps i can adjust to a more relaxed pace this quarter, eh?

  i got up, went to class, chatted with tyson for a while. made fun of canadians. ;) worked on homework. had lunch with valerie. played that addictive text twist game. talked baseball with john. went to yoga (more about that in a minute). cooked dinner at breakers with annica, david, and tibor, had a great time doing it, loved annica's yummy dessert, and decided that choosing to cook this quarter instead of clean was an excellent move. came home, went running, watched tv, showered, and now here i sit.

  so yeah, i am taking yoga this quarter. of all random things. i went last tuesday with bree just to check it out, and because i had nothing better to do at the time. i skipped last thursday because carter was here, but i went again today, and i think i'm gonna stay in the class. funny, yoga always looked so easy. um....it turns out there are muscles i didn't know i had! i didn't know that i could work up a sweat just trying to hold myself in seemingly harmless positions. anyway, it should be interesting. if nothing else, i will end this quarter with a lot more flexibility than i have now, and that's cool.

  carter didn't let me know when he got back to atlanta. poophead. oh, i know he got back safely because i'm pretty sure i would have heard something by now if he hadn't. sometimes it is hard to suppress the mom in me. heh. scary.

  tomorrow i'm going to do all the annoying errand-y things that i've been putting off, because they really can't be put off any longer. taxes. doctor appointment. financial aid. yup.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 04.09.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, April 08, 2002

  beating off boredom

  after the non-stop action of carter's visit, today was...boring.

  i fear boredom. literally fear it. i know that is strange, but it's true. boredom makes me introspective. boredom makes me sleepy. boredom makes me lonely. boredom makes me feel lazy and sluggish and ugly and generally unlikable. perhaps this makes me a freak. but still. i fear boredom, and go to great lengths to avoid it. like taking lots of classes, or overcommitting myself.

  i am thinking about working at starbucks part-time. i have always had this random desire to work at starbucks. this quarter i might have time to do it.

  i have lots more that i could write tonight, but i am pretty tired, and so i think sleep is going to be the victor. till tomorrow...

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 04.08.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, April 07, 2002

  the inevitable return to "normality"

  i don't want carter to leave. i don't want to go back to school life. i don't want to return to homework and tests and long hours in the library. i want to be a tourist forever, and have days filled with visits to islands, bridges, and big trees followed by european dinners and funny movies. please don't make me go back.

  today was great. we toured alcatraz, and ate sourdough bread. we walked on the golden gate bridge, and wandered the shoreline. we hiked some trails among redwood trees and found great italian food at a small restaurant in sausalito.

  tomorrow? tomorrow begins the second week of my third and final quarter at stanford. the countdown to graduation has begun.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 04.07.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, April 06, 2002

  people will come ray, people will come

  i am going to need a vacation from carter's vacation. sheesh. he is asleep on the couch downstairs and i have to say, i'm completely pooped. today we got up early and got to the baseball park at 9:00 to wait in line for tickets. i jumped out of line to run park the car, which then turned into an hour-long ordeal of trying to get into the parking lot. carter probably thought i had accidentally driven into the bay or something. i have turned out to be quite the organizational failure this weekend. excepting the a's game on wednesday, we've had to run over some sort of hitch for every other ticketed event we've wanted to see. ah well. my organizational skills aren't what they used to be. however, i guess i have to admit that it's sort of funny that i'm so horribly bad at being spontaneous.

  anyway, i finally got back to him after parking the car and he had bought season tickets that weren't being used today in the second row of the upper deck on the third base side. really nice seats. we went ahead into the park and had plenty of time to watch batting practice, wander the stadium, and even test our fastballs. (side note: i am pathetic. my "fastball" is 36 miles an hour. i throw like a freaking girl. sheesh.) my new favorite random baseball player is the padres' closer, trevor hoffman. we sat watching him stretch, and found him to be quite a cool and goofy guy. he signed autographs, talked to fans about fantasy baseball and new stadiums, took a picture with a kid, and when carter asked if his hat was made of mesh instead of wool, he responded by taking his hat off his head and tossing it to carter for a minute. later, in the outfield, he goofed off with the manager's kid and tried to catch a pop-up with his glove behind his back. he was very random. yes. very amusing. and now he is my new favorite random player.

  the sun came out for the game, and everything was beautiful. i was happy carter finally got to see the sunny version of california. after the game we headed through golden gate park and to the ocean, then back to palo alto to meet up with nick, susan and jen for dinner.

  so. i think we're doing pretty well in the mindless fun department. tomorrow is alcatraz, and the bridge, and muir woods. then my week in the twilight zone will end and carter goes home and i get my butt in gear for this final quarter of school. twilight zone indeed. one of these days, i will stop trying to figure out where my life is going and what every little thing means, and i will just live. there have been moments this week when i've seen glimpses of what "just living" might mean....

  after getting up early and sitting all afternoon in the sun, i have been pretty zonked all evening. definitely time for bed.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 04.06.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, April 05, 2002

  stealing innocent jack balls

  hum dum. i wish the weather would get sunny. i feel like i am cheating carter out of a sunny california vacation since the sky has been filled with nothing but clouds. stupid weather.

  i discovered today that people are dumb. see, while i was pumping gas, carter ran next door to jack-in-the-box and bought me a san francisco giants jack ball for my antenna. it was so cute and i was very excited until a mere four hours later, when we emerged from round table pizza and my jack ball was gone. who steals a jack ball?? i mean, really. you can go buy one of your own for a dollar fifty! i think i would actually be less upset if you stole my bike or something. at least that's valuable and worth stealing. why be a jerk and steal my giants jack ball??

  anyway. i bought another one. and took it off my antenna when i parked my car. carter laughed at me but i don't care. i want to keep my jack ball. i refuse to lose more than one today.

  as for activities, let's see. we had brunch at hobee's, hiked up to the dish, walked up and down university avenue, had dinner at round table, and then saw two cary grant movies at the old stanford theater. it was neat. tomorrow it's off to see the giants play the padres! woo.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 04.05.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, April 04, 2002

  swf in search of?

  yes. life is strange. i am wondering what will happen to me this spring. and after. today i have felt oddly like i am waiting for something. a nagging feeling. i don't know what. anyway. i have done a good job of dismissing the feeling, because while carter is here, i want to forget about school and the ever-ambiguous future. i just want to have lots of mindless fun.

  today we made sammiches at breakers and then headed up into the city. it turns out that my instincts on tickets for things like giants games and alcatraz tours were quite wrong, so our day quickly deviated from the schedule. ;) we bought alcatraz tickets for sunday instead, and will be heading up to pac bell park bright and early on saturday to hopefully get a couple bleacher seats. after we took care of tickets, we wandered around fisherman's wharf for a while watching sea lions knock each other off piers into the water, and watching this entertainment guy hit an innocent volunteer in the head repeatedly with a paddleball. he was supposed to be hitting a cigar out of the guy's mouth. instead, he just hit him in the head a lot and finally the guy got annoyed and threw the cigar down on the ground and walked off stage. i don't blame him.

  tonight we watched nick's musical rehearsal for a while. it was interesting because i liked watching nick perform, but the rehearsal moved so slowly it was almost painful. with opening night coming up in a week, i guess i expected things to be pretty much finished, only in need of polishing. and maybe they are and i just couldn't tell. i'm definitely not an expert in musical theater. anyway. i'm looking forward to going to opening night.

  i didn't get into the other section of photo 1 either. i'm pretty disappointed about that. i'm going to talk to each of the teacher's though, and hopefully i can at least get access to the darkroom, even if i won't have anyone to help me actually learn how to take better pictures. i jokingly told carter, "well, there goes my big shot at being a world-famous photographer." or i said something along those lines. he sort of laughed. heh. i wish i had gotten in. oh well. some other time. i'll just pay money to take a photo class somewhere else someday. yup. things cost money.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 04.04.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, April 03, 2002

  yay for visitors

  {happy sigh} life is good. my spring quarter schedule is looking incredibly managable, baseball's back in season, and carter's here for the next four days! he arrived right on time this afternoon. we had lunch at the peninsula grill (mmm), toured campus, harassed nick and emily, and saw the a's defeat the rangers by a score of 9-6. the only disappointment was the the a's don't have any pennants in stock yet, so carter couldn't get one.

  i don't know what we're doing tomorrow, but i'm sure it will be fun. anyway. bedtime.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 04.03.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, April 02, 2002

  woe is me (and my camera)

  so i just got back from photography, which i was really looking forward to taking this spring. what i didn't realize was that half of campus apparently wants to take it as well. yikes. so there were probably 100 people who showed up, and only 20 available spots in the class. we all filled out a form with our name, major, etc and our reason for wanting to take the class, and the professor is supposed to post a list tonight with the names of the people who make it in. i'm crossing my fingers. i will be really disappointed if i don't get to take it. once i'm out of school, where will i ever find photography classes?? i hope i hope i hope i get in.

  other than that, the day has been uneventful. i had one class this morning--aa271, aircraft and spacecraft dynamics. the first half will be a repeat of dr. tsiotras's class from georgia tech, but the rest will be new material, so that sounds like a pretty good mix. tomorrow i start aa279, orbital mechanics and this random history class i'm taking as free elective. it's called "art, science, technology and the world of leonardo." it's about leonardo di vinci in particular, and also more broadly about renaissance art and architecture. it sounds interesting. i hope there is not too much reading, but i figure it will be interesting reading, at the least.

  more importantly though...carter comes tomorrow to visit! i'm pumped. i love visitors. :)

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 04.02.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, April 01, 2002

  take me out to the ballgame

  baseball baseball baseball baseball baseball! yay! today i am in love with espn, because it means i get to watch my remodeled atlanta braves play the phillies. i know the ncaa championship is tonight and everything (go maryland), but seriously, how can anyone concentrate on that when there is so much baseball goodness in the world today?

  (2:50 p.m.)

  i am having issues today. we're going to the a's-rangers game tonight. joel has backed out because he's sick, but susan is taking his ticket. tyson has backed out because he'd rather watch the maryland-indiana game, but aaron is taking his ticket. (basketball over baseball? weird.) after half a dozen phone calls to various people, i finally figured out what sean's last name is so i could look up his number, but he didn't answer the phone, and i don't know if he even remembers that i was going to get him a ticket for the game. anyway. well no matter what, i will be at the game tonight!

  the braves won, 7-2, with newcomers sheffield and castilla each knocking in three runs. a promising start for my braves. i'm quite happy about it. carter emailed to say he was there...ooooh, i wish i could have seen the braves on opening day. last year (or was it the year before?) courtney and alex and i went to braves opening day, and we were some of the only people in the upper deck because it had rained earlier in the day. i still have the picture of our empty section that was in the newspaper. good stuff, opening day.

  (11:24 p.m.)

  what a great monday! the braves won, the a's won, maryland won, and the yankees lost big. can't get much better than that. too bad i have to spoil it by getting up early for class tomorrow. ;)

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 04.01.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, March 31, 2002

  two significant things about today

  one major announcement at the moment. ok, two. you can guess which one is more important to me, seeing as how i am in california away from my family and out of the easter bunny's range.

  first, happy easter.

  second, with the indians facing the angels tonight, it has finally arrived...baseball opening day!! wooooooo!! i'm so excited. :)

  (10:54 p.m.)

  i have to say, i don't envy jen at this point. i don't envy her at all. she is struggling with the whole "grad school" decision, on top of trying to finish senior design and get through her last semester of undergrad. i remember well how stressed i was at this time last year. maybe it's just something we have to do, some grand and exhausting experience that we have to live through. in any case, i'm glad i'm past it.

  nick and i went to see harry connick jr tonight. it was AWESOME. it was maybe the best concert i've ever been to. they were all having so much fun on stage, harry himself was cracking up both the audience and his band with his jokes, and maybe the coolest thing of all was the fact that the spotlight was shared. sometimes harry would sing, sometimes his band would get all the attention, sometimes the soloists were the stars. for once, i was at a concert where everyone there seemed concerned solely with making great music, entertaining the audience, and having some fun. it was great.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 03.31.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, March 30, 2002

  jiggity jog

  ah. well, i am back in california after a nice and mostly relaxing week seeing friends and apartment-hunting in houston. so what did i learn? let's see... even though i think dogs are cool, i do not qualify as a "dog person" based on the fact that i was not entertained for hours by watching two dogs play. ron is/was only, like, the coolest roommate ever. curt doesn't kiss and tell. the cheesecake factory is still my favorite restaurant. i have lots of awesome friends, as i discovered on my birthday. becca has totally taken over my group, and has laid claim to rich's desk--grr. ;) i should be able to afford quite a nice apartment. (yay!) and oh, perhaps most important of all--there are days in houston when you're not stifled by heat and humidity. in fact, march is a nice month there.

  the trip back was less than pleasant, due to fierce thunderstorms around dallas/fort worth. my plane from houston left an hour late, and had to be rerouted over corpus christi and san antonio to avoid weather before making it to dfw. (if you know texas geography at all, you will realize how out-of-the-way that routing is.)

  so i landed in dallas one hour and 40 minutes late, and 40 minutes after my flight to san francisco was supposed to take off. however, the weather had kept my sfo plane on the ground and it was supposed to take off exactly 10 minutes from the time i landed. the plane from houston stopping at some podunk terminal and we were bussed over to the main terminal and dropped off at gate a0, and of course i had to get to gate a29, all the way at the other end. i jogged for about 15 gates, and then found one of those guys with the little cars to drive me the rest of the way. as i finally reached the gate, the ticket woman said "are you sarah?" apparently they had been waiting for me. i thought that was very nice, but then they decided to search my bags, which made me less appreciative. oh well.

  so i cruise down the jetway and board the plane, everyone on board staring at me wondering why i am so late, and probably hating me for delaying the plane a few minutes past what had already been delayed for weather. we push back from the gate, but spend an unusually long amount of time sitting about 50 feet from the terminal. the captain finally comes on the explain that the little truck that pushes the plane back from the gate got the arm stuck on the nose gear--"nothing wrong with the plane, folks, just a problem with the arm"--and so now we have to wait for a few other planes to clear out before we can continue. finally we reach the taxiway, and sit. and sit. and sit. suddenly we all hear the unmistakable sound of the engines winding down. ugh.

  sure enough, the captain comes on and jokes about the sound of silence, and explains that a ring of thunderstorms has conveniently enclosed the dallas airport, and that air traffic control has stopped all departures. i sit in my seat, my butt already beginning to ache, and watch the rain pour down outside. finally an hour later--at 8:00, two and a half hours after our originally scheduled departure time--we take off! hooray!

  the flight itself was uneventful, and it is quite nice to be back "home" and see nick and emily and susan, who all gave me wonderfully belated presents for my birthday, since i wasn't here to celebrate with them on my actual birthday last week. they are awesome. so i am happy to be back in california, even if my room has a slightly funky odor from being shut up all week. it smells vaguely like nail polish remover. weird, eh?

  and now, off to bed i go, looking forward to 1) seeing harry connick jr. in concert tomorrow, 2) opening day with the a's on monday, and 3) carter's arrival on wednesday.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 03.30.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, March 29, 2002

  apartments

  houston is hotter today. la la la. here i am in ron's apartment. it's a bit strange, since i lived here the past two summers, and now all my stuff is gone and only ron's stuff remains. but i still somehow feel like it's my apartment. i guess because it's the first apartment i ever lived in. so to recap, i suppose: i am in my first apartment hanging out and bumming ron's computer while in houston to find what will be my second apartment. :) pretty simple.

  it was another lovely day of doing pretty much nothing for me. i slept late, went to lunch with ron, edgar, chris and randy, took becca's car to see the insurance adjustor (joy of joys), picked up ron from work, got a haircut, and now i am headed to gavin and jen's for dinner. should be fun. tomorrow ron isn't going to work, so we are going to hang out all day! and i'm hoping to get ahold of chrissy and james as well to see them.

  it's shaping up to be a great spring. carter is coming to visit next week (yay!), then iffy and alex are coming (triple yay!), then becca is planning to come for memorial day... it's funny. i think everyone has finally realized that i only have three months left in california, and that if they want to visit the bay area and have a free place to stay, they'd better visit soon. i certainly don't mind. :)

  and finally, i am happy to see that katie sounds like she is feeling a lot better as the week has progressed, which makes me happy. i worry about my sister! she is awesome and i don't like it when she's upset!

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 03.29.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, March 27, 2002

  everybody loves you when you're 24

  i had the best birthday yesterday. :) i sort of thought no one would remember, but apparently i am very loved despite all my annoying quirks, because my phone wouldn't stop ringing. i heard from just about everyone important in my life at some point or the other; i think i probably used up all my cell phone minutes for the entire freaking month, and my ear was sore when i went to bed last night, but it was worth it. and then i got to go to the cheesecake factory for dinner with some of my friends here in houston, so yum yum yay yay.

  now i am off to apartment shop. this is a short entry because becca needs her computer back to do some work. this would all be much easier if she had internet access in her apartment, but she is a lazy bum and doesn't have it. ha ha. she just read that comment and said "i love you too, sarah." ha ha ha.

  off i go.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 03.27.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, March 25, 2002

  houston texas bay-bee

  if i had a penny for every time today someone has asked me "why on earth did you come to houston for spring break??"... yeah. i'd be rich.

  anyway, exotic destination it isn't, but i'm having a nice time so far in texas. i flew in saturday evening, and was quite happy to have found two nice ticket people in dallas who switched my ticket so that i could fly into hobby airport instead of all the way across town at intercontinental, meaning becca didn't have to drive nearly as far to pick me up. that night we had dinner with ron, i met her adorable puppy named apache (she is quite cute, though she is still very into the whole chewing-on-things stage), and then hung out at ron's apartment with chris and ethan.

  yesterday we went to astroworld, which was a lot of fun since the weather wasn't too hot and the lines were short. if astroworld were always that pleasant, i might actually go more. but in july, i can't stand the lines and the heat. last night we came home, becca cooked a yummy dinner, and we drank wine while watching the oscars. poor becca has completely forgotten how to live like a college student, as she had to go to bed before the big awards were given out because she was so tired. i, on the other hand, had a fun time watching halle barry's incredulous reaction, denzel washington's graceful speech (i think he is just a great, great actor), and though i was hoping lord of the rings would win just because i liked the movie, i wasn't surprised that a beautiful mind took the prize. it was a fantastic movie as well.

  anyway. this morning i took becca to work, then came home and slept some more. ;) ahhhh..... now i'm sitting at becca's desk, formerly my desk, waiting for the bosses to get back from afternoon meetings so i can go talk to them.

  carter might come do the california baseball tour next week. yay! hmm. this is me not getting my hopes up. not getting my hopes up. not getting my hopes up...

  nick called to say he has not starved due to lack of food. oh, and that he misses me. aw. it is pathetic, but i miss him too, after only two days of being gone. and we're not even dating. {sigh} weirdos.

  away i go.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 03.25.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, March 23, 2002

  leavin' on a jet plane

  off to houston for the week! yay spring break!

  so the other night, i was given reassurance that some males do actually find me attractive. it is really quite a funny story, but i'd rather not spell it out here. if you're interested, you'll have to ask me. heh. ; )

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 03.23.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, March 22, 2002

  small scale disaster

  despite the constant misting rain, my aa241x (aircraft design) class headed outside today to test the half-scale model (wingspan of about 5 feet, just to give you an idea) of our airplane. for the record, i had nothing to do with the half-scale model, because i was busy working on the solar cells and propulsion system for the full-scale plane. you'll understand why i clear myself of responsibility in just a moment.

  so we all head over to roble field, professor kroo holding the plane. we arrive, and he does a few quick jogs back and forth with the plane held high to see what sort of moments it's experiencing. professor alonso and pete, the t.a. who will be flying the plane, look on. the rest of the class makes jokes and prays that the thing will fly. i stand idly watching since i'm one of only 5 people there who didn't actually help build the model. but it's still a model of the plane we'll eventually build, and we want to see.

  finally dr. kroo and dr. alonso and pete are ready to launch. most of the class is standing down at the other end of the field with the profs, while i stand a few hundred feet away with valerie, andy, and john. the plane is launched, and awkwardly climbs, but is starting to stabilize. the conversation goes something like this"

  john: "cool, it flys."

  valerie: "neat!"

  andy: "yeeaaaah."

  me: "uh oh."

  we all watch as something oblong and white falls from the plane to the ground.

  john: "something fell off."

  andy: "uh oh."

  we continue to watch as the plane turns and begins to glide over our heads.

  valerie: "UH OH."

  me: "oh crap!"

  the plane floats past, makes a sharp left turn, stalls, and plunges 20 feet directly into the ground. the balsa wood fuselage shatters. the wing and tail are still perfectly intact, but the battery and nose counterweight fall out and lay among the shards of what used to be the fuselage. andy, valerie and i run over to the plane. the rest of the class runs toward us to see what happened. john goes to see what fell off.

  class: "oh noooo!"

  john walks up. "here's the problem, this fell off."

  we all look to see what he is holding, expecting to see a servo or perhaps a control surface. instead, he is holding the propeller. we all stare for a second, and burst into laughter. fortunately they built a back-up fuselage, so a few people who will still be around tomorrow are going to attach the new fuselage and fly it again, hopefully with the propeller much more solidly attached.all in all,it was quite a funny experience. the propeller fell off! how absurd can you get? hours later, the whole scene is still cracking me up. hee hee hee. : )

  maybe you had to be there...

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 03.22.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, March 21, 2002

  sunny days sweepin' the clouds away

  something strange is going on with diaryland today, or maybe just with my computer. i can update, but i can't view anyone's diaries. weird.

  i realized last night that the oscars are this coming sunday. that was quick. i guess perhaps becca and i can watch. that is, if she has a tv. heh. i have this image of her living in a really empty apartment, since she says she hasn't bought much furniture yet. not even a couch. i get to sleep on an air mattress that her new puppy will chew on. whee. ;)

  i have a final today. i haven't studied. it's open book.

  (8:48 p.m.)

  sigh.

  yes, sigh.

  yesterday i made peanut butter cookies at breakers, which everyone thoroughly enjoyed. tonight, jake told me that he ate five yesterday, and had more today. that made me smile. he said he thinks these were my best cookies yet.

  so i'm doing a lot of writing tonight, but not the fun kind of writing. instead, i am producing such jargon as:

  "The effect of even wispy clouds is obvious--the power and current produced by the array on a cloudy day is only half of what is predicted for a sunny and cloudless day. These results only reinforce the enormous impact the weather will have on this aircraft's flight."

  lovely, eh? dumb solar cells. i am tired of them. after tomorrow, i won't have to mess with them anymore unless i choose to. which i don't. instead of continuing this aircraft design class (which some people are doing, some people aren't...it's up to us, because it wasn't originally supposed to take more than a quarter), i am going to do independent research for dr. cantwell. he makes rockets. hehheh. cool.

  in other news, i am back to being generally sarcastic and pessimistic about relationships. i saw a preview for a new cameron diaz movie last night, you know, one of those voiceovers: "so-and-so had given up on love..." (cut to shot of gorgeous cameron diaz crying big gorgeous tears and saying in a gorgeous way how much love sucks) "...but love hadn't given up on her..." (cut to shot of her randomly meeting some gorgeous man). to recap: boy, girl, some sort of problem that at first prevents them from being together, but i'm they eventually end up in love and everyone is happy. fade to black.

  nobody ever makes movies about the girls who always hear the line "you're cute, but..." BUT....i just don't feel that way about you. ugh. sometimes i think that my life just repeats the plot of "my best friend's wedding" over and over again. not that all my best friends are marrying other people, but just the general idea. i like someone, then it becomes "you're cute, but..."

  anyway, don't mind me. i'm just being difficult tonight. :)

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 03.21.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, March 20, 2002

  death of the man o' phat

  oh, i finally posted pictures from the e206 presentations last friday. unfortunately, the disassembly of phatman has already begun. yesterday i had to go get the actuator magnet to return to the guy who let us borrow it, and in slicing the magnet off the wooden crossbar where it was glued, the flimsy balsa wood broke. not that phatman can do anything without his magnet anyway.

  but before i took his magnet, i turned him on one last time and watched him balance. oh, he was such a good phatman. may he rest in peace.

  i am really tired of school, and not looking forward to spending most of today in the lab hooking up stupid solar cells to make a motor and propeller run. but that's what i have to do. ugh. i'm so tired of school. i keep telling myself that there is only one more quarter, and then i will have a master's degree. and the m.s. is something that i definitely do want for myself. but i am so tired of being in school. maybe i've finally reached the point that everyone else reaches midway through undergrad. that's why reasonable people take jobs, eh.

  nick asked me last night..."sarah, why are you going to houston?" i didn't realize that every time i mention moving to houston, it is in the context of being upset that i'm leaving gorgeous california for yucky houston. he's never heard me say anything that indicates i'm excited about moving and starting a full-time job.

  i dunno. sometimes i really am excited. other times i know it's just the safe thing to do. but for better or for worse, that's where i'm headed.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 03.20.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, March 19, 2002

  california dreamin'

  what good is having a crush when your crushes always end up dating someone before you get up the guts to ask them out? argh. both my crushes of recent memory are now "dating" people. or at least pseudo-dating. whatever. i should just develop a crush on someone completely unattainable, then i couldn't be disappointed when they don't develop a crush on me as well. :)

  last night i was emailing carter and saying that i hope he comes out here to visit and see all the ballparks he wants to see. in the middle, i suddenly thought "well, let's see if it's really doable or not" and so i looked up the june schedules for the giants, a's, dodgers, padres, angels, diamondbacks, and even mariners. this can totally be done. if you resign yourself to flying to seattle instead of driving, the trip can be done: 7 teams, 7 ballparks, two finals, and one master's degree from stanford in 16-17 days in june. all for less than $1000 per person for everything.

  i'd love to do this! preferably with someone, preferably with carter since he is the big baseball fan and i know how much he would love it. if i can talk him into it, i have absolutely no reservations about going, since my travel apprehensions usually arise only when i'm going solo. if carter isn't up for it, perhaps alex or iffy would be. but i'd like to do the west coast baseball tour regardless. we'll see. i'm definitely going to do something this summer. i refuse to go straight to houston to start my boring ol' job. i want a final summer travel fling before i go.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 03.19.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, March 18, 2002

  speaking in monotone

  so far today: unshowered, incredibly sleepy, sore, slight headache, in fear of the pile of papers on the corner of my desk. hmm. feeling quite aimless. and hungry.

  (pause to call nick to see if he wants to go to lunch. he doesn't. however, on another note, he does have a massive crush on someone. roll my eyes. and he talked to christina last night. feel slightly jilted, then roll my eyes again. ugh. i have issues. i am stupid.)

  in search of a new song, any song, as long as it's good. still have to do the dumb stanjan propulsion problem. don't understand why we have to do a homework problem that requires us only to figure out how to run some dos executable that will give us the exit velocity of some engine. remind myself that this is the very last thing to do for propulsion, so it can't be all that bad. sunny outside.

  (pause to check the weather channel page. decide it's stupid to check a webpage when i can just go outside. go outside in my pajamas. come back in. return to computer.)

  yup, it's cold. well, chilly anyway. about to put on some clothes and head to breakers where i will watch nick fix me a sandwich, feel bad that he is being so nice and making me sandwiches, but not make a move to do it myself. oh well. feeling very apathetic today. wanting to talk to someone cheerful and without complication. :)

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 03.18.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, March 17, 2002

  pay it forward

  when i woke up at 7 a.m. this morning, it was raining and cold outside. not exactly the thing i needed to inspire me to get up, get dressed, drive 35 miles to dublin, california and run in their st. patrick's day 5k. especially since i haven't been running in two weeks now because of visiting friends and mounds of schoolwork that kept me busy from dawn to midnight.

  but i did it anyway. 32:07, my fastest 5k yet! by june, i'll definitely be running sub-30:00, no problem, if i keep this up. i really feel that i am already in much better shape than i was at the beginning of this quarter, and know that i'll only get better. :)

  on the way back from the race, i was the recipient of a random act of kindness, and it has left me quite happy with the world in general. to get to dublin, i had to go across the bay, which means crossing one of the many bridges. i headed across the dumbarton bridge, happy as could be. of course, i completely forgot to think about the fact that there might be a toll on my way home, because the freaking bridges in this area only charge tolls one way. (which, i know, is nice of them not to get you both going and coming, but it confuses me nonetheless when i can cross one way without paying because i inevitably forget that i might have to pay on the way back.)

  anyway, the signage approaching the bridge was bad, and i didn't realize that yes, indeed, there was a toll for westbound traffic until i was 300 yards from the toll booth with no way of exiting the highway. i didn't even have $2 on me--all i had was 6 dimes and a handful of pennies. i was hoping the toll guy would somehow be understanding, but of course he wasn't. i explained that all i had was about 60 cents and hadn't realized i would have to pay a toll because i'm not from around here and had never crossed this bridge. which is all true. he harassed me for not knowing that "all bridges have tolls, even the ones back east." (which, for the record, is of course not true...the huge bridges i have crossed over the mississippi river in louisiana and also in st. louis, and the giant yellow bridge over the entrance to the port of houston are merely three examples of toll-free bridges.)

  so he walked around to the front of my car to get my license plate number, but of course there was no plate there since my car is registered in north carolina, so, grumbling even more, he walked around to the back and was starting to take down my plate number when a white truck pulled up behind me and the driver called "i'll pay her toll." so the grumbling toll booth man waved me on, and i shouted "thank you!!" and now i am forever grateful to the mystery man in the white truck who paid my toll. nice to know that random acts of kindness do actually exist.

  the moral of the story: strangers can be really great. oh, and always keep a few bucks stashed in your glovebox.

  (11:13 p.m.)

  sleepy. about to crawl into bed with my book and some hot tea. don't have to get up for class tomorrow, and yet have this nagging feeling that i am forgetting something. this is perhaps one of the most disconcerting feelings of all. there is nothing in my planner. am currently trying to ignore nagging feeling. thinking about sitting outside tomorrow in my butterfly chair. if only the warm weather would return.

  drafted my fantasy baseball team tonight, think it turned out pretty well. better than last year. my pitching won't dominate as much, but my hitting should be much improved. notables i managed to snag for my team: curt schilling and chipper jones (keepers from last year's team), barry bonds, matt morris, roberto alomar. solid relievers in keith foulke and trevor hoffman. biggest disappointment was that edgar got away with greg maddux in the 4th round (second round after we each took back our keepers), two picks before i was set to take him. boo. i wanted maddux back. maybe i'll propose a trade.

  crap. just remembered what i have to do tomorrow. turn in the final propulsion homework problem that was to be done via computer program. crap. poop. oh well. will do it in the morning.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 03.17.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, March 16, 2002

  being an alumni

  every so often i get a very slick-looking newsletter from the georgia tech architecture department. i was never an architecture student, but i get the newsletter because i was once a member of the symphonic band, and the music department at tech is under the wings of the college of architecture. the amazing thing to me is that i can receive this beautifully done update on the events of the music and architecture programs merely because for one year, i played in the band...while i get absolutely nothing from the aerospace department, or even from the college of engineering. i find the architecture update interesting, and have a feeling i would enjoy an account of the current events in the engineering school even more...but i get no such thing, probably because there is no one to do it, or no one has ever thought of the idea. how unfortunate. maybe i should go back to tech and create an alumni newsletter for the college of engineering.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 03.16.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, March 15, 2002

  ides of march

  hey, it's the ides of march. christina's favorite holiday.

  the fatigue has been hitting me in the early afternoon lately. as it is today. we just finished showing off phatman's dance to an appreciative audience, and now i am spent. exhausted. i want to crawl into a dark, dark hole and sleep for weeks.

  instead, i have a meeting in an hour and a half. and a reception for the aero/astro visit day people at 5. and a cookout and party for them at 6. and jammix tonight at 10.

  i can't believe i'm actually complaining that i have three different social engagements for the rest of today; normally this would make me feel quite popular and proud of myself. today, i am just tired.

  tired, but happy. phatman worked, and e206 is over. that makes 3 classes over, and only 2 still to go. and one of those two will be quite easy.

  i'm gonna go get some coffee. mmmmm, coffee.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 03.15.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, March 14, 2002

  i will sleep well tonight

  today was a glorious, glorious day.

  1. the propulsion final was easy.
  2. i had a nice lunch with doritos on my sandwich, which is surprisingly good.
  3. i went to the lab and within an hour, we had phatman working. for real. as in, he was done. !! HOORAY!! the key was stators. freaking stators. there was nothing wrong with our control design, in fact, the control design was perfect. the problem was that the fans swirled the air. stators straightened it out and bam, the relationship of our actuator was linear. phatman works. he dances. AW YEAH. the presentations are tomorrow, so i'll take pictures.
  4. i had a good conversation this morning.
  5. i heard an astronaut speak and was inspired.
  6. i ended the day with a pitcher of beer at the treehouse with aaron, mike, and steve, three of my favorite boys.

  all in all, the quarter is finishing swimmingly.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 03.14.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, March 13, 2002

  just a day, just an ordinary day

  left my room at 9:00 a.m., returned just now. so basically, i can sum up the day as being: long, tiring, interesting, sad, and happy. heh.

  we finished learning the basic moves to cha cha this morning in dance class. i have found that i really like cha cha, for some unknown reason...i'm looking forward to jammix on friday night, where i'll get to practice my dancing and forget about this hellish week because almost everything will be done and turned in. :)

  this afternoon we presented our term projects in my me215, a.k.a. "touchy feely" class. it was by far the best class we'd had all quarter. it is so inspiring to see what other people are capable of when they put their minds to it. one girl is about to set out on a bike ride from portland, oregon to portland, maine...just because she wants to do it. another guy finally starting taking flying lessons and will soon get his pilot's license. nick found a paid gig as a dancer. one guy is establishing a long-ignored relationship with his stepmother. it was neat. i felt very out-of-place. my project was to start the long road towards writing a book. i did a lot more thinking than writing, and i discovered that what i like to write--and what i write best, i think--are personal stories or feelings. i don't know if my musings have any hope of ever being profitable to a publishing company (which i guess they would have to be in order for someone to want to publish them), but maybe someday...

  i had a piano lesson, and enjoyed dinner. i studied. i talked to carter, who i hadn't talked to in weeks. that was very nice. i studied for the propulsion test tomorrow. i ate half of nick's turkey, cheese, and dorito sandwich.

  just a day, just an ordinary day...

  tomorrow we pull the phatman all-nighter.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 03.13.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, March 12, 2002

  as days go by

  how can it be tuesday already? tonight: flute. tomorrow: e206 quiz and me215 term project presentations. thursday: propulsion final. friday: e206 projects (phatman) due. weekend: solar cell junk, soldering an 30-cell array, testing it. next week: aa241x and aerodynamics finals.

  i'm sitting here staring at the monitor trying to think of something to write, and nothing is coming to mind.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 03.12.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, March 11, 2002

  shootin' up

  i got shot up today. hepatitus a in the right arm, hepatitus b in the left. thank god i didn't need another tetanus, as i don't have three arms, so where would they have put it? anyway. now i'm ready to go to mexico. si.

  i talked to christina this afternoon. she is amazing. i so often wish that i could be like her, and have the healthy outlook that she does. i let things affect me so strongly. yesterday i felt worthless. today i just feel nothing. this week's allowance of tears has been used up i guess.

  my credit card company sent me a booklet that summarizes all my charges for the entire year of 2001. it is neat. i can see what i spent all my money on. my most expensive purchase was $847.30 for the aerospace shirts that aiaa sold last spring. ok, so that doesn't really count, because i got reimbursed. so the most expensive purchases of things for me are: $734.38 for my beautiful monitor and other assorted computer things on october 27, $666.50 and $658.00 on a plane ticket to europe and back and a eurail pass to use while there, and $358.53 on a plane ticket to san francisco to visit stanford back in april. $235 for a new set of contacts. $280.77 for my beautiful bicycle. not counting europe and san fran, i still spent almost $1000 on plane tickets. boo for spending money, but yay for travel.

  anyway. that is my credit card spending. i know, the excitement abounds.

  (9:50 p.m.)

  my arms hurt. the nurse said the shots wouldn't make my arms hurt, but she probably didn't know that i would be playing flute for two hours tonight. we have our concert tomorrow. unfortunately, nick and susan's dance exhibition is the same night. so i won't get to see the dance, and i don't think they'll get to see our concert. that stinks.

  this afternoon was weird. i was in the a/a library and all of a sudden i just decided that being mopey wouldn't be any fun for anyone else, and so i cheered up. i don't understand how i am able to do that, and yet i am not able to prevent myself from falling so down in the dumps in the first place. i waffle back and forth from thinking that 1) there is something wrong with me to 2) thinking that there is something wrong with everyone else to 3) thinking that there is something wrong with the world in general and people are just unfortunate enough to be subjected to it to 4) nothing is wrong with the world, and that the world is just as much or as little as we make of it. does anyone else feel this way or am i just crazy?? <-- yes, that is a serious question. i know that i am responsible for my own happiness, and that no one person can "save" me. heh. there has been much talk lately about saving people.

  anyway, i am beginning to ramble, and this type of rambling is more appropriate for my paper journal.

  it is really hard to believe that september 11 was six months ago. time always manages to fly past...

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 03.11.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, March 10, 2002

  hurt

  my opinion is that most of the time, it's necessary to think about how some of your actions will affect other people. i don't think it's proper to do every thing you want to do exactly when you want to do it; in fact, i think it's extremely selfish. other people disagree with me.

  i was supposed to run in a 5k today. it would have been gorgeous, through the presidio in the shadow of the golden gate bridge. i slept through it. i feel like sleeping and never waking up.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 03.10.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, March 09, 2002

  back to my "normal" life

  well, i took chris and christina to the airport this morning and their plane should have taken off about 10 minutes ago. i thought that i might actually feel relieved to send them off, because their departure allows me to get caught up on everything i neglected over the course of the past week...but i wasn't relieved at all. i was sort of sad. i had a really great time with them in town and it was great to be able to spend so much time with them after not seeing them for months. i didn't really want them to leave. i mean, i know we all have our own lives to get back to, but i was still disappointed to see them go. i had a really, really fantastic week because they were here. i hope they had fun too.

  so today there will be no touristy outings to the beach or to the city, and instead i will spend the afternoon and probably a good portion of the evening playing around in the lab with phatman. we've got less than a week until he has to be working fully--the final presentations are on friday--so i suspect i will be spending a lot of time in the lab over the next six days. not to mention i have a lot of homework from this past week to catch up on, and oh yeah, we also have our propulsion final on thursday. yikes. the good news is that spring break is almost here! i bought my plane ticket to houston a week or so ago, and need to get in touch with becca and ron to arrange things...but i'll worry about that after this week.

  i want more visitors.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 03.09.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, March 08, 2002

  i want a bite of apple (or just give me an ipod)

  mmm, boy, i am really tired. chris and christina get to sleep late every day, while i still have to get up and go to class. not fair. ;(

  yesterday we had lunch with chris's mom's cousin and family. the wife, gerri, works at apple so we met them there and got a brief tour. i didn't get the ipod i was hoping they would just plop into my hands, but oh well. heh. anyway, i thought the place was really cool...not because of the buildings or the setting or anything, but just because all the employees seemed very happy. gerri couldn't stop gushing about how great her boss was, and how steve jobs has really turned the company around since he came back. the visit really made me want to think about working in industry rather than for the government; however, i think the aerospace industry is quite different than the computer one. working for lockheed wouldn't be as cushy as working for apple. at least i don't think so.

  it's chris and christina's last day here. it's been a hectic week juggling them and class (they are obviously more important than class, but i can't just skip), and i will miss them once they're gone again.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 03.08.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, March 06, 2002

  pondering the meaning of age

  happy birthdays to david and james! i can't believe my brother is 22. i can't believe in 20 days i will be 24. sometimes i feel so old, and a sense of anxiety about my future and its uncertainly overwhelms me...the feeling that i should have a "plan." but other times, when i am less stressed by school and work and life in general, i realize that a hell of a lot has happened in the past 24 years, and in another 24 years, i won't even be 50 yet. i mean, if you want to think outright funny...24 years ago, i didn't know how to walk or talk or take care of myself, and now i can do them all with ease. heh. not to mention the fact that i'm well educated, have great friends, a great family, and a new job on the horizon. so in the really, really grand scheme of things, i'm doing ok, eh? ;)

  chris and christina are up in the city today, as i had class literally from 9-5 with only an hour break for lunch. they were going to go to alcatraz, and i think muir woods as well...i'm about to give them a call to see what they're up to. tico and i are meeting them for dinner up in sausalito at 7:30, so that should be fun. and it gives me an hour right now to get some homework done, an un-fun but necessary activity.

  on the way home, i bought some girl scout cookies. mmmmmmm.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 03.06.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, March 05, 2002

  wanting to check out of school for the week

  ugh. i am feeling stressed. here i am with two great friends visiting, and all i want to do is hang out with them...and yet in the back of my mind is this lingering cloud of other things that somehow need to get done this week. calibrating the photo cells for our e206 project. retesting solar cells for our aa241 propulsion group. the massive e206 assignment due friday (i'm going to beg ted for an extension). aa200a homework also due friday (fortunately it can be turned in monday without penalty, so that's when i'll turn it in.) i'm not complaining though. falling behind this week is a small price to pay for seeing friends.

  today ended up being both an active and quiet day. we spent the early afternoon touring campus and walking up into the foothills for an absolutely fantastic view of the bay. i had to leave for a few hours for class, but chris and christina ran into nick and got to hang out with him. we went to this restaurant downtown called "pasta?" for dinner, and played in the apple store, and had ice cream. we then headed home early to sit around and veg out and watch tv. chris and christina were tired from all the walking, not to mention some lingering jet lag. they're downstairs, but i won't be surprised if i go down in a minute to find them both asleep in front of the tv. :)

  oh! as promised, here is a picture of nick and me at viennese ball last friday. though the cheesy pose was his idea...

  

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 03.05.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, March 04, 2002

  being tourists

  chris and christina and i had a nice day today. yesterday i think i wrote that i was really glad to see christina, and i didn't say anything about chris...because christina and i had just been up talking, which we haven't done in a while. but it is great to see chris as well. i really do have great friends, and i'm really glad that two of them were able to come out here to visit.

  today i went to class (boring) and then came home to fetch c&c. we had lunch with nick at the treehouse, and nick let us borrow his convertible for the afternoon to drive up into the city! we went to fisherman's wharf, ghirardelli square, the golden gate bridge, golden gate park, lombard street, and watched the sun set into the clouds over the pacific. they went to target while i had flute ensemble, then we had a late dinner at this noodle place in downtown palo alto, and coffee at the university cafe. tomorrow i think we're going to hang out around campus and enjoy the sunshine. :)

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 03.04.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, March 03, 2002

  will these conflicting emotions ever end?

  it's funny, atlanta. i don't want it back, and yet i miss it desperately. it's weird to think of living another sixty years and never having again the same thing i had then. i imagine that i will find closeness in different ways, but wow, what an environment college was. i don't think i really consider this year at stanford to be part of my "college" experience. it's so different in so many ways.

  there is a lot more i could say along that line of thought, but i am having trouble thinking of the words, so i'll postpone it for now.

  christina has been spending a lot of time lately with carter and kent. it is odd to think of how she has sort of fallen into what used to be my "place." i used to be the third corner of that triangle, and now she is. it doesn't really bother me as much as it just puts me in a contemplative and nostalgic mood. i'm glad she is discovering what an amazing pair those two can be.

  it is so nice to see christina. i have missed her so much.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 03.03.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, March 02, 2002

  viennese ball

  i woke up today with my feet still in enormous amounts of pain, but my face also still smiling (through the grogginess of morning). the ball last night was a lot of fun. i love dancing with nick. basically, i just love hanging out with nick in general, and dancing makes it even more fun. the only disappointment was that i didn't dance with anyone except nick. i figured viennese ball would be sort of like jammix with fancy dresses, and that when nick was busy preparing for the vintage dance performance that he was in, there would be plenty of other guys for me to dance with. instead, everyone was glued to their dates. no one danced with anyone else, and so when nick wasn't available, i just sort of stood around. so that part was sort of a bummer...but the rest was quite fun.

  yes, i love dancing with nick. we got off to a slow start; the first dance was a really fast waltz, and my shoes turned out to not be very good waltzing shoes. i wished i had brought my real dance shoes, but i hadn't. we moved to the swing room soon enough though, and that was tons of fun. i think i am really getting much better, at least i hope i am. i am not a very good dancer, but nick makes me feel like i'm better than i actually am, and he doesn't care when i mess up. in fact, when i mess up, he usually says it was fine anyway. and he got me a corsage. i've never gotten a corsage before; i guess that's what happens when you don't go to prom in high school. still, i was quite excited about it.

  you know, if i could date a guy who treats me half as well as nick treats me, i would be really lucky.

  we took a picture of ourselves all dressed up, but nick is having trouble downloading it from his camera, so i don't have it to post here yet.

  this afternoon i talked to chris and christina, who are coming out here tomorrow to visit! i also talked to james, which was a surprise. i have been meaning to email him for some time, but i've been really slack with all of my email these days. he had been with chris earlier and was disgruntled that chris hadn't thought to let him talk to me, so he called! it was really nice, we got all caught up on each others' lives. he has been spending a lot of weekends in houston with chrissy, so maybe i'll even get to see him when i got down there for spring break.

  in other random news, carter and kent took off today for orlando to go to a disney rollercoaster park and see two braves spring training games. i really envy their ability to just take off and go. it's weird, because i know that neither one of them is exactly in their ideal situation these days--kent suffering through grad school when he never even wanted to go to grad school, and carter suddenly with more free time on his hands than he wanted after the job crap. still...i envy them. i am so busy with school these days that i don't really even have time to be overtly social, but i still miss being at tech where i had a fairly large, but also very tight group of friends. here, if nick, emily, and susan are all busy, then i really don't have anyone to call and say "hey, do you randomly want to go to fry's with me?" or anything like that. much less take off to see spring training games. i guess what they say about college being the most freedom you'll ever have is really true. undergrad, that is, not graduate school. ;)

  anyway, aaron and i are off to buy a lightbulb for our e206 project, since i managed to completely fry the one we had. i hooked it up and turned on the power source...bad idea. someone had turned the power source off while it was still set to 10 volts, and i didn't think to check first. since the poor little lightbulb can only handle about 3 volts, it flashed in a burst of glory and then went dark forever. ugh. this is why i should not be allowed to do anything dealing even remotely with circuits. anyway. off we go to replace it.

  (1:06 a.m.)

  i just got back from seeing amelie, a french movie, with susan. it was such a cute film! it made me want to go back to paris soooo badly; it also made me wish for the umpteenth time that falling in love was as easy as depicted in movies. in any case, it was a great choice, and i highly recommend seeing it. and that is all i have to say, since i'm off to bed. tomorrow i have to get up in time to do laundry and calibrate phatman's sensors before christina and chris get here for their visit. :)

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 03.02.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, March 01, 2002

  what if it was the man of my dreams?

  note to self: unless in very good state of mind, never ever call atlanta friends on friday afternoons. why? because they are inevitably either already together, or making plans to get together, and then i am disappointed that i can't join them. if i were not so tired, i wouldn't be disappointed. however, it has been a long week, and so i was slightly sad i couldn't join them all for dinner.

  that said, i am quite excited about my own plans for tonight! it's finally the night of the viennese ball! i have my dress, i have my shoes, and i am ready to waltz and swing and polka and tango and just generally dance the night away. i will post pictures tomorrow hopefully.

  cecile sat down next to me in class today and said the cutest thing. "good morning sarah. last night at 2 a.m. someone knocked on my door, but i was asleep so i didn't answer it. what if it was the man of my dreams?" the comment itself is funny enough, but now picture it said by a diminutive and always smiling girl who is half french and half japanese, looks more japanese than french, but has the most adorable french accent ever. it was great.

  my friend steve got engaged on wednesday! this is the same steve that is in my e206 lab group, where we're building phatman, which i posted pics of a while ago. his fiance, fiona, is earning her m.b.a. in france this year, and she came to visit for a long weekend. and he proposed on wednesday night! steve is such a terrific guy, and fiona seems great as well. it is so exciting!

  anyway. off to shower and hopefully take a quick nap before dinner and the ball.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 03.01.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, February 28, 2002

  quick and dirty

  quick summary of today. speedy discussion of heroes, then off to class. lunch at breakers with nick and the hilarious swedish guys sitting outside in the warm sun under a carolina blue and utterly cloudless sky. dragged myself back to durand to work on homework. more class. seminar. more homework. lovely dinner, with ice cream for dessert. watching survivor with emily. back to durand for more homework and a group meeting. to cromem to say hi to nick. ended up going over to toyon to dance for 45 minutes, waltz to polka to swing. back to cromem for a little more homework. chilly late night bike ride home. shower. bed.

  tomorrow/today is march! i love march. :)

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 02.28.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, February 27, 2002

  default topics--running and weather

  the full moon rising tonight was absolutely beautiful...it was slightly cloudy, so there was a large ring around it. it lit up the sky. i am still in disbelief of the weather...every day seems to get nicer and nicer. it's still february, and for the past week and a half it's been warm enough for shorts and tank tops at lunchtime. this afternoon i had about 5 minutes between lunch and class, and i took full advantage of it by laying in the grass in the sun with emily. it felt so good.

  i am having trouble motivating myself to go running. the fact that my legs have been aching, combined with the fact that i have been stuck on my current weight for about a week now after losing 5 pounds in the 3 weeks before that have made me feel very "blah" about running. however, tonight was better. i tried jen's tiptoe stretch and i think it may have helped my shin splints a bit. and i talked to katie just before i left, so she gave me the requisite "go sarah!" and off i went. 4.2 miles tonight, in 47:27. slower than the ~10:30 pace i have been doing lately, but i will work on speeding up.

  besides the weather and running, my two default topics of late, there's really not much to say. i desperately need to get started on the propulsion homework, but it's hard to do it when john says we can turn it in "whenever." i'm just looking forward to the end of the week, and viennese ball!

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 02.27.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, February 26, 2002

  another new dress

  long, somewhat sucky day. it began with propulsion class and ended with e206 homework, trying to design an ugly-as-hell compensator for our system. we ended up needing three leads and a notch filter. YUCK. anyway, that's boring to most people so i won't go into the details.

  i did, however, have an hour this afternoon to go back over to the mall, and i found a dress at bloomingdale's that i like better than the red one i bought last week. this one is black, so it's not quite as exciting color-wise, however, the cut is much more flattering. it is a one-shoulder deal so that is pretty cool, and then it is long and flowy and will be very swirly and pretty when i whirl around the dance floor. i decided that black is just as good as red, and anyway, i didn't have a single formal dress until now, so it's probably a good idea to have one in basic black before i get anything else. black is just more flattering to me, with my wide hips and all. lovely. anyway, i'll make sure i get pictures of nick in his tails and me in my dress so you can all ooh and aah. ;)

  it's late and i'm tired, so off to bed.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 02.26.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, February 25, 2002

  sunday recap

  i forgot to update yesterday. weird.

  actually, i can describe most of yesterday as just that--weird. i woke up at noon but was stuck in one of those groggy lethargic states that i just couldn't seem to shake. i went out to lunch at jing jing's with emily and helped her pick out a new watch at nordstrom's, but i didn't have the energy to drag her along as i searched for another dress for viennese ball this friday. i am having second thoughts about the red dress i bought last week. i think i would rather have something not quite so...loud. anyway, i'm going to head over to the mall again this afternoon to look.

  i came home, watched canada get their gold medals and the u.s. get their silvers for hockey, then talked to becca on the phone for forever. after a while aaron interrupted, saying he was going over to durand to work on phatman, and so i sad goodbye to becca and joined him in the lab. we needed to find the moments of inertia for the thing...ugh, complicated stuff that i don't remember how to do.

  after that it was dinner time, and then dishes time, and then tv time with emily and susan. i had promised neal i would go to flicks last night but i really didn't feel like it...after all, i was still being lethargic. but i did promise, and so i went. they were showing spy game, which is a fairly entertaining movie and i didn't mind watching it again. i managed to forget about all the homework that i should have been doing instead, so it worked. afterward i headed to nick's room and talked to him for a while, then finally headed home to bed. i only got 6 hours of sleep, so i am tired today. i wish i were a person that could survive on less than 8 hours of sleep, but unfortunately, i'm not.

  this morning in dance class we reviewed club two step and worked on polka some more. we learned the basic step for polka on friday, and at first i was amused because i have always thought of polka as a dorky old people's dance. but i must admit--it is really fun. galloping and whirling around the room is quite entertaining, and it makes everyone smile and laugh, so it's a very cheerful dance to do. i am getting pumped for viennese ball, even if i will be one of the worst dancers there. it will be fun anyway. i like dancing with nick; he is really good. there is also this guy in my class named bernardo who is a great lead; i love it when i end up next to him and get to dance with him when we change partners.

  (11:33 p.m.)

  i went on a short run tonight, 2.5 miles. i think i have reached a turning point in my running...it used to be that when i ran, i was limited by my cardiovascular fitness. my body felt fine, but i would be gasping for breath and have to take walking breaks. these days, i could carry on a normal conversation if i were running with someone because i don't get too out of breath, but now my legs have become quite a sore point. they ache. i am thinking i just need to stretch a bit more before i go running, or perhaps warm up with a brisk half mile walk before i break into a run. we'll see.

  tonight though, i was interrupted halfway through my run by the guy i have a crush on. silly me, i thought it was past, but alas, i discovered that it's not. he's so cool. he stood there talking to me while i was all sweaty and gross. ugh, what a time to run into him. ah well.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 02.25.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, February 23, 2002

  and the walking man walks...walks on by

  i ran in my third race this morning. this one was here in palo alto i thought i had signed up for a 5k, but when i got there i found out that the race was actually a 5 mile race, an 8k. my initial reaction was "oh no!" because i had never run 5 miles before--the longest run i've done in as long as i can remember is about 4.5 miles, and that was on a day when i was really feeling good and motivated. so i was worried. but then i just sort of said "what the hell?" and went to the starting line.

  i started slow, knowing that i would be going 2 miles farther than what i'm used to. slow and steady, like the tortoise, that's me. i passed the 2 mile marker in 23 minutes...11:30 per mile and about 40-50 seconds slower than my usual pace. however, i kept plodding along, and i think i must have accomplished one of those "negative splits" that you hear runners talking about--where you run the second half of the race faster than the first half--because i finished in a flat 55 minutes, 11 minutes per mile.

  so my first try at the 8k distance went swimmingly, and gives me a lot of hope that pretty soon i'll be able to run a 10k! that would be cool.

  in other news, it's already been a good phone connection day. it's only 1:00 and i've already talked to both carter and christina. i still owe daniel and becca call-backs.

  (3:03 p.m.)

  i always find the olympics so inspiring. i find myself glued to the tv for sports that i usually ignore, like short track speed skating and nordic combined skiing. yesterday i watched the entire us-russia hockey game and was on the edge of my seat for the entire third period as the players went frantically for the puck...and can't wait to watch the gold medal game tomorrow. how cool it must be to be an olympian!

  (12:58 a.m.)

  today has just been the best day. the race and talking to friends like i already mentioned...then later on i watched moulin rouge, which i have been wanting to see for a while, and i also talked to chris, and then neal called and i talked to him and promised to go to flicks tomorrow night with him. and then kristof called and asked if i wanted to go see a chamber ensemble from academy of st. martin in the fields perform. well of course i did, so he and i headed to the auditorium for that, which was wonderful, and then we headed over to tressider where we met up with nick and emily and valerie and half of breakers--daniel, sean, michael, alex, ana--for a swing dance put on by the graduate student union. it was great! i was amazed that someone asked me to dance every single song...i had to purposely sit out a few times just because i needed a rest! i also met some interesting people...a crazy russian guy, and a cute french guy named yoann. (what an interesting name!) and nick taught me charleston and the shim sham, even though i am not really very good at either so far. i will have to practice.

  just a fantastic day. it's like everyone i know, and some people i don't, conspired to make me feel really popular and help me have a wonderful day. and it worked. heh. i guess it's just an ideal example of one of those days when "everything seems to go your way..." ahh. i almost don't want to go to bed! however, i am exhaused. ;) g'night.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 02.23.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, February 22, 2002

  this weather has got to be heaven-sent

  karen talks a lot about the crazy, ever-changing weather she experiences over in england. i, on the other hand, am relishing the constant atmosphere here....sunny, cool, and completely gorgeous. someone told me back in the fall that spring here begins on valentine's day, and that has proved true so far. with the exception of some rain last weekend, the days have been picture-perfect, and the nights cool and comfortable. this afternoon i rode around campus on my bike for almost 45 minutes, just because i couldn't bear the thought of going inside. when i finally got home, i opened the window wide and left the heavy doors open to let the day come in through the screens. it's absolutely beatiful today.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 02.22.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, February 21, 2002

  skating and shin splints

  so i watched the women's figure skating tonight with my roommates. if anyone had come in the door, they probably would have burst out laughing. there we sat, the three of us all on the couch, biting our nails and giggling nervously and fidgeting with anxiety...all over a competition whose outcome had already been decided, but we didn't check the results online because it would spoil the surprise! we were so funny. anyway, i feel sorry for michelle kwan, but so excited for sarah hughes! she was so cute, and so gracious, and skated so beautifully! she certainly did win the long program tonight, and deserves that gold medal.

  before skating, i went running. it was a good run, but i felt very uninspired. i have been having problems motivating myself this week, and the fact that i've been having recent troubles with shin splints hasn't helped. if anyone knows a good method of dealing with shin splints, please let me know. they used to be a problem back in the summer, but then i started stretching before running and they faded...but this week they have returned. ow. maybe i've slacked off in my stretching routine...

  i made an attempt at filling out my nasa paperwork today, the stuff required for setting up movers and getting reimbursed for mileage and stuff. it was a hopeless cause. government paperwork is so hard to understand. i'm just going to call them tomorrow and have someone go through the process with me. i have a lot of questions...like can i get things moved from both california and north carolina, will they pay for a rental car when i go to houston to apartment hunt, when is my start date, etc etc. hopefully everything will work out to my satisfaction, but since it is, after all, the government, i am prepared for some hassle. we'll see.

  glad tomorrow's friday! i finally bought billy elliot on dvd and have told nick that he is required to watch it this weekend. he's never seen it. i know he'll love it.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 02.21.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, February 20, 2002

  phone people

  oh good lord, people. becca complained, i don't know how seriously, that she wasn't listed as one of my "phone people." i knew i shouldn't have written specific things about my friends, but it's already done. anyway. it's not that certain people are phone people for me....it's more like i am not a phone person. i have always sort of shunned talking on the phone in favor of either face-to-face or email. i've just never been able to talk on the phone and find it as enjoyable as talking in person, or having the time to "perfectly" compose my thoughts like you can do with email. but these days i do a lot of phone calling out of necessity, since face-to-face is impossible most of the time. still, i find that i am usually not the one that does the calling, as i sit and wait for others to call me. the only exception is kent, because i know that if i don't call him, he will probably never call me because he is weird like that.

  anyway. even though i am rarely the caller, i have sort of grown to enjoy the occasional calls from friends. even you, becca. ;)

  (12:11 a.m.)

  inspired by watching all of the speed skating on tv tonight at the olympics, i went rollerblading tonight for the first time in a year and a half...for the first time since i dislocated my knee warming up for roller hockey one night in houston. it was nice. i was sort of unsteady on my feet at first, and the uneven pavement around here certainly didn't help. but when i got over to california avenue, the pavement smoothed out a bit, and there were plenty of nice parking lots to skate in, and practice my braking and turning skills. it was fun. perhaps i will skate to class someday. i think rollerblading requires more endurance than bike riding, and maybe even more than running...my legs get tired quickly when skating.

  my question of the week is this: would you rather win an oscar or a gold medal? i'd take a gold medal any day...

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 02.20.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, February 19, 2002

  plumbing woes

  i woke up this morning to find the toilet so clogged that i couldn't even fix it with the plunger, even though i spent a good five minutes trying. lovely imagery, right? i swear, i don't know what my roommates are feeding the thing.

  anyway, i can't even worry about it now because i'm off to class. hopefully kate will handle it. it's gray outside again this morning...i guess gray has just been the trend for the past week. i'm not surprised--i mean, everyone has been saying that we haven't really had a normal rainy season this year--but i was really starting to get used to endless sun. nice to know that the weather isn't always nice, not even in california. but still, i want the sun back. hopefully it will reappear soon.

  (8:15 p.m.)

  this is a great quote (stolen from chris): "university politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small." henry kissinger. very true.

  i just got to talk to the kentmeister for an hour...finally, after wanting to call him for the past month, but letting school and the time difference get in the way. he sounds reasonably content with school for now, though it is not his favorite thing to do, and he is still keeping an eye open for jobs. but oh...it was so nice to talk to him. kent is the person i miss most of all. it sounds somehow mean to say that, because there are many, many people that i miss...but whenever i need a boost, it is always kent that i think of. he can always make me smile. other people are good for other things...chris and christina both make me feel loved, carter gives me pretty good advice when i have problems, jen is a great source of motivation, becca and karen are good for crazy foreign stories... but for pure smiles, it's kent.

  (11:40 p.m.)

  i was just watching headline news while i stretched after running, and heard a blip about how a security person at the louisville, kentucky airport--a guy who watches the x-ray machine--was fired after a national guardsman noticed that he was asleep. they rescreened over a thousand people, and 12 flights were delayed. this struck me as extremely ironic, because i have vivid memories of entering the philadelphia airport a few years ago for a flight back to houston and passing through the security checkpoint where not one but two of the people supposedly watching the x-ray machines were sound asleep. my how times have changed.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 02.19.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, February 18, 2002

  poofy dress shopping

  emily and i went shopping today and i got a dress for viennese ball, but i'm not sure if i'm going to keep it or not. it is red, fitted at the top and through the waist, and then poofy at the bottom. i think it may be a little too tight at the top. plus, i can't escape the thought that i really look best in black or dark blue...something a little more slimming than red. i may go back to bloomingdale's and buy a black dress that i liked.

  after shopping, i spent the rest of the day going from the a/a library to dinner back to the library to flute ensemble then back to the library, and finally home. i think our plane design is finished, so tomorrow between propulsion and design class, i have to draw it. four hours should be enough time.

  written in an email today: "i guess the point is that we all adjust. sooner or later. and happiness can be different things at different times."

  and i do think that is true.

  i think my crush is dating someone. how unfortunate.

  anyway. bedtime!

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 02.18.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, February 17, 2002

  blah days

  the past two days have been long, gray, and quiet. somehow i have just felt...off. out of it. head in the clouds. mood in the dumps. energy fading, motivation lacking.

  i went running today, but i wouldn't really call it "running." it was a struggle the entire 2.1 miles. yep, i only managed to go 2.1 miles. and i even walked some of that. i find that my runs are a good indicator of how i am feeling, and today was no exception--an utterly blah run for an utterly blah weekend.

  the one bright spot was spending last night, and another few hours tonight, with nick. i sort of don't want him to go to france next year. i want him to move to houston. i am going to miss him so much. i guess most people anticipate graduating and moving on with their lives, and don't miss people like i do. it's all very strange. i wish i had realized earlier that saying goodbye is an inevitable part of life. though we all have plenty of people to fall back on when times get really rough, basically we all have to go it alone and make our own decisions and be responsible for our own happiness. i am adjusting more and more to that idea. the real clash comes when doing something besides homework would make me happy, but i am stuck studying. ;)

  i want to call my friends back east and talk all day. i have been wanting to call kent for weeks now, just to hear his wonderful voice, but i haven't dialed his number. i want the comfort of ron's calm voice, but haven't sought it. i wanted to call carter all last week but didn't. i have longed to talk to christina, and chris, and daniel, but done nothing. i feel like the gap is rapidly widening between us, and though it goes against conventional wisdom, i find it hard to pick up the phone when i feel distant. i don't know why. i guess i fear that conversation would be awkward, and that i won't know what's going on in their lives. i am absurd. why does my brain work like this??

  tomorrow i have promised emily that we'll go shopping, but i also have to crack the books, since i've slacked off these past two blah days. i've got both propulsion and aircraft design homework due on tuesday. fortunately, i think those may be the only two assignments due this week, which is nice. i'll get a break. though the ironic thing is, i've gotten so used to having constant homework that i don't quite know what to do with myself when i go a day without it. however, i don't think it will take much work to get over that. ;)

  i think i'm going to get ready for bed and read for a while.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 02.17.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, February 16, 2002

  tunji's tb saga

  karen sent me a very informative email about tuberculosis last night after reading that tunji has it...however, there is an update to that news. he might have tb, but they aren't sure yet, and he's actually had two tb tests that have come up negative already. the story is that tunji had been feeling bad all tuesday and wednesday, and finally went to the health center on thursday, where they discovered he has fluid in his lungs and sent him to the medical center. apparently, fluid in the lungs is often caused by tb, and so that's what they sort of predicted that he had. when nick and i went to visit him yesterday, we had to wear respirator masks and everything.

  but they are not certain that he has tb yet, in fact they are thinking maybe he doesn't after all. in that case, they will have to figure out another reason for why he has fluid in his lungs. the good news in that case would be that tunji will be able to stay on as nick's roommate. yesterday there was talk of him moving out.

  anyway, so that is tunji's saga. we'll go see him again today, but they said he might get out of the hospital today, which would be great.

  last night we went to jammix. i felt like i was dancing much worse than i did last time, but nick and susan both say i was dancing better, and that now i'm just more aware of when i make a mistake, because i've been taking the social dance class for three weeks now. it is very frustrating sometimes to not get everything right, especially when i am dancing with nick, because he is really good and i know he doesn't like dancing with people who aren't as good as him. i somehow need to get a lot of practice before we go to viennese ball in two weeks.

  when we got back from jammix we headed to denny's for a late night snack, then headed home. every time i go to denny's late at night, i am always wide awake when we get there, but then as soon as i get some food in me, i totally crash. so when i got home, i fell into bed and didn't set an alarm...and ended up not getting up until about 20 minutes ago. whew, i am lazy today. at the moment i am trying to convince myself to go for a run, but i'm still groggy, and it is gray outside. we'll see.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 02.16.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, February 15, 2002

  coming up for air

  another valentine's day passed uneventfully yesterday. i guess it would be different if i had ever actually had a valentine on february 14th itself, but that's never happened. v-day is funny. i don't really understand it. why do people get all worked up about it? i mean worked up in either sense. why do those with dates get all schmoopy, and why do those without dates want to act bitter? i would much rather be happy in loving people every day of the year.

  wow, that sounded really idealistic. that's not how it was supposed to sound. i guess i'm just a person who is rather indifferent to valentine's day. someone wished me a happy v-day at dinner, and i hadn't even remembered that it was v-day. ah well.

  in either case, now v-day is over, and it's friday, thank god! i made it through this hell week surprisingly well. i did extremely poorly on my propulsion midterm (we haven't gotten it back yet, but i know i did horribly because he briefly discussed it in class on thursday)...but i did well on my e206 midterm, phatman worked wonderfully during our presentation, our aircraft design is suitably underway for tuesday, and i did well on the aerodynamics midterm i had this morning. so one bad midterm, but everything else went well. i've been running 4 out of 5 days this week, which is awesome as well. and tonight is another jammix, so i will get to dance my stress away. and it is a three day weekend!

  the week's only truly bad news is that nick's roommate, tunji, who had been feeling ill, finally went to the medical center and today we found out that he has tuberculosis. :( i really don't know anything about tb except for that i have had to get skin tests for it before, so i will have to do some research. he will be moving out of nick's room and living somewhere else. i guess the disease is contagious, but not rabidly so? nick said he probably doesn't have it, but will have to get tested just to make sure. anyway, we are heading over to the medical center to visit tunji, so i will find out more.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 02.15.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, February 14, 2002

  phatman lives!

  well i tried to update last night, but apparently the diaryland server was having issues. anyway. the good news was that i survived my long day of wednesday class. yeah, my wednesdays aren't any fun. i'm in class from 9-12, and again from 1:15-5:30. at least i have time for lunch.

  but the other good news is that phatman worked beautifully during our demonstration in the lab! go phatman, go! and as promised, here are some pictures of the lovely little thing. remember--the more tape and wire involved, the better!

  
  ah, here he is! isn't he gorgeous? i think the yogurt cups are an especially nice touch.

  
  aaron works diligently to hook up all our wires to power sources and oscilloscopes. though we all played equal parts in construction, aaron is the circuit guru. if he died, mike and steve and i would have no idea where to stick the wires. hmm...

  
  steve, mike and aaron hold the one, the only...phatman!

  
  random picture of bree by the elevators after the feasibility demos.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 02.14.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, February 12, 2002

  hola, como estas?

  happy birthday dad!

  well, this morning started out horribly--i did poorly on the propulsion midterm--but it has shaped up beautifully tonight. it's funny...the fact that i made some seriously stupid mistakes on the midterm doesn't bother me too much. i don't know whether grades just mean less to me now, or whether i've just decided to channel my anxiety into something else, or what. last quarter i bombed all my midterms and threatened myself with thoughts of just leaving grad school altogether, because i obviously wasn't any good at it. then finals went decently, and all my final grades were actually above average. bombed midterms, came out ok in the end. so i figure maybe i'll just be repeating that pattern this quarter.

  anyway. after the test i headed down to the lab with aaron and mike and steve to rebuild our control system plant and reposition the finicky actuator. we spent a good 5 hours working to prepare everything for our feasibility demonstration tomorrow and...it all works! woohoo! we're gonna rock the class with our phatman balancing dude. phatman, phatman, phatman! (sing the old batman theme song in your head.) i know you must all be wondering what this so-called phatman thing looks like, so tomorrow i will borrow nick's camera to take pictures of it, and i promise to post one here. :)

  i had piano tonight and am still struggling to get both hands to work together. this weekend is three days, so i will have lots of time to practice before next week's lesson. i came home after piano to a bit of great news...the last week of june/first week of july, i have been picked to go to mexico! see, every summer my family's church back in charlotte runs mission trips to mexico, and on a whim this year, i decided to apply. my sister and brother have both gone in years past (katie has gone three (?) times now), and seeing how much they have enjoyed the experience really made me want to try it. i have never been an especially religious person, and so i feel a bit strange going on a church mission trip...but i am excited nonetheless. the destination is the city of reynosa, just over the border next mcallen, texas (the very southern tip of texas).

  i need to take a free elective this spring quarter, and i was thinking about taking a language...continuing my russian, or taking some italian, or relearning some french...now i think i might take spanish!

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 02.12.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, February 11, 2002

  all about my classes

  the weird thing is...today has been great! oh, my week is still hellish, to be sure, but i am feeling like it may be manageable. this is an excellent thing. this morning i learned how to do the viennese waltz, and took the e206 "quiz" which turned out to really be more like a midterm. fortunately, i think i pulled through ok.

  after class i spent an hour with my e206 group and dr. rock to figure out options to make our system more workable by the presentations on wednesday. our biggest problem is the actuator--it moves, but only when it is flat and level. the second it is tilted away from level, it stops working because it can't generate enough force to pick itself up. however, we didn't have time to implement our solution ideas today because...

  ...it is hard-core propulsion study day! yay, everyone cheer! (ok, maybe not.) anyway, our propulsion midterm tomorrow, and everyone is worried. i, oddly, am not worried. when i took propulsion with dr. zinn back at tech, i really enjoyed the class, and as a result, it is one of the few undergrad classes from which i actually remember a fair amount of the information. so i'm feeling pretty comfortable. there will be one ramjet question and one turbojet question. of course, there is always the possibility that dr. cantwell will throw something completely random on there, but hopefully i can reason my way through it. so i have a little more studying to do, but i am not freaking out like everyone else. so that's a good thing.

  tomorrow after the midterm, i will spend the rest of the day working on e206. then wednesday after those presentations, i'll spend the rest of the day working on aa241x designing our airplane. then thursday after that assignment is turned in, i'll spend the rest of the day studying for our aerodynamics midterm on friday. then friday, i'll jump for joy because it will be a three-day weekend!

  and with that, i am going to end this boring, filled-with-crap-about-classes entry.

  oh!! i almost forgot. this past weekend marked the middle of winter quarter, and thus the middle of my degree program. i'm halfway to a master's degree! and so today i did one more thing...i applied to graduate in june! yee-ha! the process was sooo much simpler than it was at tech. all i had to do was go online and click the box that said "i'm graduating in june, get my diploma ready." woo hoo!

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 02.11.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, February 10, 2002

  preparing for hell

  long day, but nice, i guess. the weather was absolutely gorgeous. i slept late, talked to becca for a while, did laundry, talked to mom, ate dinner, did dishes, studied, and watched "alias" with emily. now i'm off for a run, and shower, and bed by midnight, with any luck. this week is going to be absolute and utter hell, so i might as well at least start it with a good night's sleep.

  i want to do something really nice for a certain person, but i don't know what i should do. something really nice, but tactful. that's the key. ugh.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 02.10.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, February 09, 2002

  left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot

  happy birthday mom and courtney!

  i ran another 5k today, this time in campbell, which is about 25 minutes away, sort of a little town in the middle of san jose. (there are so many little towns around here.) i finished in 33:04, which is 10:40 per mile. 16 seconds faster per mile than my first 5k two weeks ago, and i weigh 5 pounds less. and the course today was mostly flat with some uphill; the one two weeks ago was more downhill. so the course was harder, yet i ran faster. needless to say, i was pumped. i feel like i'm really starting to get into decent shape. of course i still have a long way to go before i have lost the pounds i want to lose and am running at the speed i'd like to be able to, but i am feeling really good about myself. my goal is to run a 5k in 30:00 flat by the time i graduate in june. i don't really know if this is realistic or not, but i think it probably is. i think i can do it.

  after the race, i came home and watched the georgia tech-duke game on tv. we got creamed of course, but that is to be expected when playing duke. i saw katie standing under the basket on tv! that was neat. after the game i headed over to aaron's, where he and mike and steve and i spent all afternoon working on our e206 project, codename "phatman" for pseudo-heli actuated t-man." yes, we just wanted the cool acronym so we made up vaguely related words that fit. anyway, we made a lot of progress, and when i left just now, aaron and steve were on their way to the lab to test it out.

  i, on the other hand, am about to head to the one-act play that emily is acting in! tonight is the last performance. supposedly, the play is "abstract." hmm. well, it will be interesting, and it is nice to support emily. they come to my flute performances, we go to nick's dance performances, so now we go to emily's play. :)

  (12:01 a.m.)

  i got to talk to carter tonight. it was nice because i hadn't talked to him in a long time...in fact, i didn't realize how long it had been until it turned out to be him on the phone and i tried to remember our last conversation. unfortunately, he has had a rough week. i think i may try to hit atlanta for a weekend during spring break...i don't know. i don't know if it will be possible (translation, affordable). we'll see. i keep hoping more people will make it out here to california, especially now that the weather is turning warmer and there is so much to do outside. i found out just a few days ago that alex and iffy are going to come out in april! that will be fun.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 02.09.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, February 08, 2002

  a wonderful day

  today was a beautiful day. the weather turned a bit chillier, but it was still gorgeously sunny, which was wonderful after yesterday's gloom. i went to class, had lunch at the slop truck with my e206 group, then we headed to aaron's to work on our project for a while. i then mailed my dad's birthday present (so that it will get there on tuesday, which is his birthday), and made cookies for dessert at breakers tonight. i talked to both mom and dad on the phone; mom got the flowers i sent her for her birthday (which is tomorrow) and loved them, which made me happy.

  then nick and i headed into san francisco for the ballet! i bought him a ticket as his christmas present. it was really fun, and nick absolutely loved it, which made me feel great. i love getting people presents that i know they will really like. our seats were in the last row of the orchestra section so we had a great view, and the shows (we saw three separate ballet pieces) were all great. the first was a light-hearted piece in which dancers portrayed all the different instruments in an orchestra. the second was set to a half dozen chopin piano pieces. and the third was three movements that evoked the feel of being in a large city. all very cool.

  afterwards, we came back down to stanford and went to denny's and made plans to spend this summer doing odd jobs in a big city like san francisco, or new york. i actually think that would be an awesome thing to do, so maybe if nick has nothing to do and i push my start date in houston until late august, we could actually do it. maybe it's a pipe dream...but maybe not.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 02.08.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, February 07, 2002

  the sun'll come out tomorrow, i hope

  i am depressed today. this week is just wearing on me. plus it's winter, plus today it was drizzling and generally gray. all of which combine to just make me sad. i need a good way to just relax and let some of this stress drip away. i want to run, but i think if i go in the rain, i will just be even more miserable. i haven't even been hungry today. ugh. i would say i'm looking forward to the weekend, except i'm going to have to spend it studying because i have a midterm, homework assignment, or presentation every single day next week. so i guess i am looking forward to the weekend after this. well, at least the end (even if a temporary one) is in sight.

  if anyone has any good suggestions for how to take a half hour relaxation break or something, please, by all means, tell me.

  apparently there are a couple people at georgia tech who recently found out via jen that i am moving to houston to work, and were surprised. i guess they had me pegged as a straight-to-ph.d. person. not so weird. i had myself pegged as that person. funny how things change. now i just don't know what i want, but i know i want a break from what i'm doing now. the advantage of a non-thesis master's is that i finish in a year...and i didn't think there was a disadvantage. however, i have found one.

  the disadvantage is that a non-thesis master's program is really no different from undergrad. i still go to five classes, i still have homework, i still have midterms and finals. basically, i still feel like an undergrad. five years of undergrad was ok...six years is just too much. honestly. heh.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 02.07.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, February 06, 2002

  the sound of the men, working on the chain...gaaaang

  ugh. i hate living next to all this construction. see, my apartment building (and quite a few others) are conveniently located next to the lot where stanford is constructing two new buildings of studio apartments. that's nice and all, except for the fact that construction has been ongoing ever since i got here in september. and probably will continue until i graduate. the one year i am here is the one year they are building these new studios right next door. they work every day of the week, and saturdays too. most of the time it doesn't bother me because i have to be up in the morning anyway. but today i was planning on happily skipping social dance and aerodynamics and sleeping in until 10:00, since i was in the a/a library late last night doing homework. then i got woken up at 8:30 anyway by the noise of some awful construction machine.

  argh.

  (12:15 a.m.)

  i am ready for this week to just be OVER!! i didn't get to go running tonight, which makes me quite frustrated, especially because i didn't go running last night either. i went sunday and monday, but i must definitely go tomorrow night. i have found recently that there is no better cure for my odd mood swings than to go do some strenuous activity. it always makes me feel good. and if i lose a few pounds, that is a nice side benefit, eh?

  the cause of my laziness tonight? i was stuck in the a/a library trying to figure out the optimum balance between solar cells, span, chord, and velocity for an autonomous solar-powered airplane flying at 50,000 feet. {sigh} there are so many different ways i could configure it...i wish i had a better idea of what reasonable wing dimensions are. i'm sort of thinking 12 feet is too long...maybe more like 5-6 feet. the nice thing about this class is that we are actually being challenged to make and justify design decisions, unlike professor jenkins' senior design class last year where we were basically force fed the numbers and equations. the "bad" thing about not doing it jenkins's way is that i actually have to think. ;)

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 02.06.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, February 05, 2002

  is it friday yet?

  perhaps the standard eight hours of sleep is not enough for me. perhaps i need 10 each night. hmm. last night i actually managed to go to bed by 1:00, which was supposedly good because i didn't have to get up until 9. however, i am still quite sleepy this morning.

  but no matter, i still have to head off to the lovely durand building, where i will spend the day slaving over homework and praying for this week to end. and it is only tuesday! what a bad sign.

  (4:57 p.m.)

  {sigh} it is sooo nice outside. blue skies, cool breeze, bright sunshine. the weather has definitely taken a turn for the warmer this week, and i love it. california is certainly not going to let me leave in june without having given me as many moments as possible to wish there was some way to have the best of both worlds...a nice job in houston, with the setting of stanford.

  ok, ok. i know, enough about how nice california is, and how yucky houston is. i really am looking forward to the move. but i will also enjoy these months as a west coaster. woo! i should learn to surf or something. i was informed the other day that over by half moon bay (which is not far), there are some of the most dangerous waves in the world for surfing. that sounds exciting...to watch, anyway. ;)

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 02.05.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, February 04, 2002

  onward to the dark tower

  so when i read online a while ago that stephen king is supposedly retiring, i was quite upset. not because i would be missing out on any more great horror stories (i don't really like horror anyway), but because he would be leaving the dark tower series unfinished!! and i simply must know what happens to roland and his gunslinging gang. but good old kent, he has done his homework, and informs me that only death could keep the man from finishing, and that the next book will hopefully be released in 2003, with a final book coming after that. whew.

  becca has started training academy, which means no more daily emails until she's done. poop. she and karen are currently trying to pump me up enough to ask out the boy i have a crush on. speaking of the boy, i had lunch with him and two other guys today. it was beautiful.

  i have this problem where i don't look at each week in my planner until i am actually upon that week...which means that i never realize how much i have to do until too late. the next week and a half is going to be quite hellish. e206 homework due wednesday, aircraft design and propulsion homework due thursday, aerodynamics homework due friday, e206 and aero midterms on monday, propulsion midterm on tuesday, e206 project presentation on wednesday. holy moly. time to buckle down and prepare to not enjoy the light of day for a while.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 02.04.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, February 03, 2002

  come and get some california

  these weekend illnesses come and go. today, after sleeping for 15 hours on friday night and another 12 hours last night, i feel much better. emily and i even went to the mall, where i was sorely disappointed in the cd store. i have finally decided to buy a few cds, specifically the ones that i have downloaded in their entirety and been listening to constantly. i figure i can make the sacrifice for people like angie aparo and john mayer and michelle branch and actually buy their albums instead of just burning copies. but the music store at the mall had only one of the cds i was looking for, so i came home and ordered them all off amazon. i am proof that it really is easier to get everything online.

  i watched the super bowl. i don't know why, since i really don't like pro football very much. but it was nice to see the underdog patriots win on a last-second field goal. it made the game exciting, anyway. the commercials weren't much to speak of this year, though i did love the one with barry bonds and hank aaron ("barrrrrry....it's time to retire....you don't really want to break the all-time home run record..." "hank, knock it off!"). i guess the highlight of the entire event for me however was the halftime show with u2. i love u2!

  yesterday christina sent me this, which she found on some random website:

  maybe it is true that we don't know what we have got until we lose it, but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives.

  giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but if it does not, be content it grew in yours.

  it takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but sometimes it can take a lifetime to forget someone.

  it's funny. those few little paragraphs describe much of my life. i knew i had something special with my friends at tech, and i thought i knew what i'd be losing when i left. instead, in leaving, i have discovered things about each of my friends that i never saw before. yes, when i left, i lost a life that i will always remember fondly; it took me a day to love them, but will take me a lifetime to forget my five years in atlanta. but i've gained a lot too. i never would have known that i needed some california in my life if i hadn't summoned the courage to come here. i think everyone needs some california. :)

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 02.03.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, February 02, 2002

  a pitiful entry

  is there someone conspiring against me? must i be sick every saturday? ugh. i am running a fever, i think, though i'm not sure because i don't have a thermometer. but i'm having hot and cold flashes (currently, i'm burning up), and everything aches, even my eyelids. mom says it's probably the flu. so let's count: in the four weeks since i've been back at school, i've had food poisoning, a week-long head cold, and now the flu.

  this is the first time i've been up all day. i woke up at 7:30 a.m....went back to sleep. woke up at 12:30 p.m....took some advil, went back to sleep. woke up at 4:00 p.m....called emily to tell her i won't be making it over to susan's house tonight to watch movies, called my mom to whine about being sick (moms are great for that...i love mom), and now i must force myself to venture to safeway, because i'm almost out of advil, i have no more tylenol p.m., no sudafed, no nothing. also, i have no gatorade, no orange juice, no chicken soup. here i go.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 02.02.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, February 01, 2002

  in search of a cure for the common cold

  dear god, why me??

  of course it is my own fault. i didn't give it a chance to go away the first time. then i had homework, and classes, and life, and i didn't get enough sleep this week. and it's back. the damn head cold is back. and i feel miserable. hopefully tonight's sleep will relegate the virus (a cold is a virus, right?) to where it belongs...out of my body! i plan on sleeping until i think i can't possibly sleep anymore...and then i'll sleep even more.

  heh. that reminds me of watching "as good as it gets" at carter's house over christmas break with the director's commentary turned on. there is a pause at one point in the movie that is actually written in the script as "a pause twice as long as the longest pause you can imagine." and it really is that long. just when you think it's almost over, it keeps going.

  tomorrow is 02.02.02. i feel like i should throw a party or something. i guess i'll save it for super bowl sunday. the 2nd year aero/astros are throwing a party, where according to the schedule they will start drinking at 9 a.m. and continue through game time at 3 p.m. and then onward into the night.

  the 2nd years are interesting. i think there is a very real possibility that a few of them are raging alcoholics...but in any case, they're a very tight group. their class really bonded. though my first year class gets along very well, we don't have the connection that the second years do. last night a couple guys who finished up last year were back visiting and everyone was having a grand old time at the nuthouse. i actually know one of the guys from my co-op days (he was finishing his co-op tours as i was beginning, back in 1997), so it was nice to see him again.

  nick went home to oklahoma this weekend to help his mom pack up the house he has lived in all his life. she is selling it. nick is sad about it...which i can understand. selfishly, though, i wish he was here. the boy exasperates me, and yet when he's gone all i want is for him to come back. i wonder if he realizes how much he has eased the pain of leaving atlanta. hmm. that doesn't really sound like much of a compliment, but it is meant to be very high praise.

  on a somewhat related note...i don't know i am supposed to find a boy to have a relationship with when my boy friends raise the bar so high. it seems like it would be so much easier to just date nick, kent, ron, daniel, chris, jelly.... yes, half of those boys are in relationships, i know, and i'm not saying i want to date them. i'm just trying to make the point that it seems like it would be so much easier to go from a friendship to a relationship, you know, from something into something more, rather than from nothing into something.

  anyway. just musing. it's funny how things really do adhere to the old saying about rose-colored glasses, and looking better on the other side of the fence. i talked to christina briefly online tonight and she'd been hanging out with carter and kent, and i felt a pang of just wanting to be there, so badly. it wasn't until about ten minutes later that i remembered hanging out with the group on new year's eve and wanting instead to be talking to nick because i felt out of place. weird. maybe i can be content in both places. maybe? wow.

  i saw the object of my crush today. ohh he is cute. ;) becca and karen were all excited to hear that i have a new crush. they say to ask him out. i have never in my life asked a boy out. i don't think i know how!

  whew. i think i just had a gigantic mood swing all in the span of writing this journal entry. my room is such a mess. i think i am going to clean just a bit, and then work on making this cold disappear.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 02.01.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, January 31, 2002

  it's just a little crush

  how's this for slightly embarassing? at 23 years old, i have, in the span of a week, developed a crush on a boy with a red baseball hat, a navy blue peacoat, and a fantastic smile. he listens to john mayer and plays the guitar. {happy sigh} it has been a really long time since i had a crush. i thought i was past that phase. oh well. i doubt anything will come of it, but it's fun just the same. ;)

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 01.31.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, January 30, 2002

  final transmission from the daily

  tomorrow will be my last column in the daily. i'm kind of sad about it. coming up with a good idea every week was less than easy, and some of the columns i wrote were definitely better than others as a result. but i will miss the commitment to write something every week. i will miss being proud of seeing my name in print. if nothing else, serving as a columnist was wonderful motivation to put a few thoughts in a coherent piece of writing.

  nick suggested that i keep writing a column every week, but since i can't put it in the daily anymore, to just post it on my webpage. that would work, and i may indeed try that out...but i would probably never enjoy the "legitimacy" and certainly not the readership of publishing in the paper. then again, sometimes i dream of creating a website that will log thousands of hits each day, from all over the world. i'd like to think that i could have something to offer, something to share with strangers. for a while now i have wanted to create a really good website, with my own domain name and everything. i just feel like i need better content than my schedule and pictures of my friends. i'm still thinking about it. anyway.

  i am in a strange mood tonight. i am about to go running, in hopes of escaping it.

  i'm also afraid i might be getting sick again, even before my last cold and its still lingering cough have disappeared. i was feeling ok earlier, but during my three hour class this afternoon as i sat there, i got warmer and warmer, and my neck started to ache, and then my back. class ended but i was still aching, and it didn't stop until dinnertime, when i was able to get ahold of a couple advil. i'm feeling ok now, but i think after my run it'll probably be a good idea to hit the sack sometime no later than midnight. i've been sick this entire quarter, and it sucks.

  finally, in the spirit of our e206 project, i now give you my favorite webpage of the day...just click and you shall receive. hee hee.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 01.30.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, January 29, 2002

  circuit components in the wild, wild west

  my alarm clock and i are having issues, and as a result, i have overslept and missed the past two propulsion classes. grr. i set the time, but i forget to flick the switch to "on." how idiotic is that? i guess it just goes to show what happens when i'm tired. i should get in a habit of setting my alarm clock in the morning, right after i've turned it off.

  today was really nice, despite the late start. when i finally woke an hour later than planned, i headed over to the a/a library to work on my e206 homework...and i was so proud of myself for being able to finish the entire assignment, correctly, with no assistance from anyone else! maybe i can do this after all, eh? now i just have to build the circuit, but i don't have the right size resistors (unless i want to figure out how to make resistances like 15, 8, and 30 kilo-ohms from the handful of 10 k-ohm resistors that i have...which is possible in some configuration, i know, but i'm lazy) so tomorrow aaron and i are going to make yet another trip to fry's. i have this feeling my visits to fry's are going to occur on quite a regular basis this quarter. it's ok though. i love fry's. it's this huge warehouse that has every kind of electronics-related thing you could ever possibly need. engineering heaven. and it's decorated in a wild west theme, which is just plain funny.

  at noon i headed to the dance studio to watch nick film his audition tape, and that went quite well. (yes, he has a webpage now, check out that link!) from there i headed back to the library to finish my homework, and then headed to class at 3:15, where we learned all about v-n diagrams. talk about shades of senior design coming back to haunt me...

  after class i walked towards home with valerie and tyson, but instead of going all the way home i stopped at cromem to harass nick. but i'd forgotten that he has class, and emily wasn't around...so i decided to go find where tyson lived in the building. he wasn't doing anything, so we hung out for the hour i had until dinner. we walked over to moonbeam's and got coffee, then sat on the floor in his room doing the crossword. i had never hung out with tyson before, but i have recently discovered that he is quite a cool guy. he was going on a blind date tonight! i wouldn't mind going on a date with tyson. ;) he's cute, and funny, and easy to talk to.

  anyway. just a thought.

  dinner was good, and i spent some time at the coffee house (coho in stanford lingo) with valerie, then watched part of a movie with emily, then headed home and wrote my column for tomorrow. now it's time for me to do some reading for tomorrow's discussion class.

  and that, dear people, is a lovely summary of my very nice day.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 01.29.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, January 28, 2002

  long winter days

  it's funny how long the day is when you get up at 6 a.m. to run in a race, and don't get a chance to take a nap in the afternoon. yesterday was great--i was slightly tired, but happy after doing the race. and then i was home by 10 a.m. with an entire day in front of me. i had lunch with nick at quizno's, we went to safeway, then i went to target, and finally ended up in downtown palo alto where i got a roll of pictures developed, got my golden gate national parks poster framed, and found the circuit breadboard that i need at radio shack. so many errands, all completed before dinner! i should get up at 6 a.m. more often.....

  yeah, except today i am exhausted. ; ) i'll sleep well this evening.

  (12:32 a.m.)

  i am currently obsessed with angie aparo, but despite this i still found this john mayer song that seems strangely appropriate to my life...or my life how it has been over the past year. my favorite line is the one that refers to a quarter-life crisis. i guess i didn't invent that term after all. dang, there goes my claim to fame.

  "why georgia"
  john mayer

  I am driving up 85 in the
  Kind of morning that lasts all afternoon
  just stuck inside the gloom
  4 more exits to my apartment but
  I am tempted to keep the car in drive
  And leave it all behind

  Cause I wonder sometimes
  About the outcome
  Of a still verdictless life

  Am I living it right?
  Am I living it right?
  Am I living it right?
  Why Georgia, why?

  I rent a room and I fill the spaces with
  Wood in places to make it feel like home
  But all I feel's alone
  It might be a quarter life crisis
  Or just the stirring in my soul

  Either way I wonder sometimes
  About the outcome
  Of a still verdictless life

  Am I living it right?
  Am I living it right?
  Am I living it right?
  Why Georgia, why?

  So what, so I've got a smile on
  But it's hiding the quiet superstitions in my head
  Don't believe me
  When I say I've got it down

  Everybody is just a stranger but
  That's the danger in going my own way
  I guess it's the price I have to pay
  Still "everything happens for a reason"
  Is no reason not to ask myself

  If I am living it right
  Am I living it right?
  Am I living it right?
  Why Georgia, why?

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 01.28.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, January 27, 2002

  my first race plus ode to ikea

  today i ran in my very first road race! it was a 5k and half marathon in golden gate park...my out-of-shape booty ran the 5k, obviously. ;) the course was mostly flat and i finished in 34 minutes, for a pace of just under 11 minutes per mile. when i go running/jogging for pure exercise, my pace is usually in the 12-13 minute range, so it's nice to know that adrenalin really does give you a boost, eh? i want to run in another race soon! i was in awe of the half-marathoners though, who lapped me towards the end of the race. we all started together then they split, but later rejoined the course...their 5 mile checkpoint was just before the 5k's 2 mile mark, and the leaders of the half-marathon passed me a few tenths of a mile before the end of my race, at around their 6 mile marker. they were really crusing along.

  yesterday i did indeed go to ikea, and here is my little tribute to the lovely swedish superstore, composed while i was waiting in line to check out:

  "ode to ikea"

  i went to ikea expecting to shop
  but what i found there made my heart go flip-flop
  hundreds of people, all shapes and all sizes
  walking down aisles of wonderful prizes
  like bookcases, shelving and tables and lamps
  with prices so low that you know they'll be champs
  the furnishing goodness inside left no doubt
  "hooray for ikea!" i wanted to shout
  when the time came to leave, i really felt blue
  i can't wait to return for an hour or two!
  

  i am a poet and you didn't know it, how about that? anyway. regardless of my pathetic poetry skills, i am now in love with ikea and can't believe i waited that long to go. i am definitely making a mega-trip there when i move to houston. yesterday i bought a bookcase to put in the corner of my room, and a picture frame, and a small table lamp...and i was really restraining myself. there was sooo much i wanted to get.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 01.27.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, January 26, 2002

  "one day i'm gonna dance my way right outta here"

  i just realized that i didn't write anything yesterday. that is sort of weird, since writing in this journal is fairly ingrained into the course of my day.

  it's cold and dark and rainy outside, but i'm feeling better because i've had a bit of sleep. and i had fun last night. once a month the dance department puts on this thing called jammix, where they just play all kinds of music and everyone dances. now, i love to dance...however, i have not really had many lessons, and though i know the basic steps, i feel somewhat awkward when i try to put them to use. so i was unsure about going, but after prodding from nick and susan and my inner conscience ("come on sarah, it will be good for you..."), i went.

  and it was really fun! it was so different than the dances we went to in houston, where most people were snobby and wouldn't dance with you unless you knew exactly what you were doing and could do all the fancy moves. last night, random people were asking me to dance, and they didn't care that i didn't know all the steps. this funny italian guy named eduardo even tried to teach me to polka and couldn't believe that i had never done it before. at least i think i am a quick learner. :)

  so i think i am going to join the social dance class, where we learn swing (which i already know), waltz, and tango. susan is in the class, so that will be nice too.

  so i am feeling more sane. i am thinking about going over to the other side of the bay to ikea this afternoon...i have needed some sort of shelf to go between my desk and dresser since school began, and i have been sort of looking for an excuse to go to ikea...so maybe this is it.

  and i talked to chris for a while this afternoon about things, and i have a few decisions to make this week. <-- i apologize for the cryptic nature of that sentence, but after all, this journal is in a place where any schmo can read it. my talk with chris will be saved for private conversation.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 01.26.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, January 24, 2002

  life's twists and turns

  i need sleep, and i need to get rid of this lingering cold. i know i will feel better once those two things are accomplished. until then, i will remain in this emotional and stressed out state.

  i talked to carter last night for almost three hours. it was a fantastic conversation, one that i have been wanting to have for years. literally, years. after i hung up the phone, i felt so good. but i also felt sad.

  i am uncertain how much to actually write in a medium as public as this online journal, when i know that many people who are close to me read it. but i will say a little bit. for a long time, i thought i would marry carter. we talked about dating, but it never worked out. it wasn't my fault or his fault, but it just didn't work. we are really great as friends, and nothing more, and that is the simplified version of the story.

  my problem is that once i realized i would not marry carter, i started to worry about "well...who will i marry?" and rationally, this is not something i need to be worrying about. but emotionally, the thought is there all the same. at some point, i don't want to be alone anymore.

  i know things will be ok. i am just in a period of doubt right now. i am ready to be happy. i am ready to not feel alone. i am ready to finish school, and ready to move to houston.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 01.24.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, January 23, 2002

  slam the door and says i'm sorry i had a bad day

  today has been a rollercoaster ride. i am both happy, and sad. i've lost track of where i am headed, or even where i want to go. but i have some good friends to keep me company along the way.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 01.23.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, January 22, 2002

  missing them

  most of the time i swim happily along in this california river. then someone sends me something like this and i start missing them all over again:

  

  they all hung out on saturday night, carter, chris, christina, chrissy, james, and kent. i miss them.

  (10:33 p.m.)

  maybe it's not supposed to be easy. maybe it's supposed to be nerve-wracking and uncertain at first. i wonder if i'm up to the challenge of finding out.

  i know that's cryptic. it has been a long day, and tomorrow promises to be no different. i have two homework assignments due thursday, a column due tomorrow afternoon, and a bunch of reading to do tonight. i won't finish it all, but hopefully i can get at least half done. i am stressed by school, and confused about my personal life. i talked to carter tonight, and to neal. i watched tv while doing e206 homework. now i am feeling the need to escape, but nick is not there, and neither is emily, and neither is valerie. i wish starbucks was still open.

  i think i would smile really big if i could just find a good place with homemade ice cream here. like jake's. is that so much to ask?

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 01.22.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, January 21, 2002

  arts and crafts

  i dyed my hair. red. the "lasts 18-24 shampoos" kind. it doesn't really look much different. a tad redder, and a tad darker, since the parts that were really blond got covered. otherwise...nothing remarkable.

  my throat still hurts today, which means i have probably put off the cold another day, and tomorrow it will arrive full force. in the meantime, i will drink a lot of fluids and try to get to bed early. this is a bad week to have a cold, since i have an assignment due in every single class. but i'll manage.

  i just spent the past half hour filling a picture frame that my grandmother gave me for christmas. it has five 2.5x3.5 inch frames, all hinged together to form a long set. it's the perfect size to sit here on my desk right under my monitor, where i can look at the pictures every day. the only problem was finding shots that would crop vertically, but i managed. i have a picture of nick and me from work last summer, the picture of the technique staff posing for the 2000 freshman issue, a picture of jelly and me in the shaft fountain after the technique-sga softball game last spring, a picture of curt and me outside denny's from last weekend, and daniel's black and white picture of becca and me happily holding our diplomas at graduation last may. it's great. i love doing little projects like that.

  now i have a couple hours until dinner, so i going to go to the mall. i need khaki pants, and i could also use another pair of jeans.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 01.21.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, January 20, 2002

  i didn't see god, but yeah, the food was good

  why me?? why again? {sigh} i am afraid i may be coming down with a cold, just like a few months ago. my throat has gotten progressively sorer as the day has passed, which is usually the single sign that precedes sneezing and sniffling and a stuffed nose. i can't figure out why i'm getting a cold though--i've been getting enough sleep, and i'm not very stressed right now. i guess i just caught it from someone. ugh.

  today was fairly quiet. i had breakfast at the peninsula grill (where, according to nick and curt, "god is in the kitchen cooking") with nick and debbie and left thoroughly stuffed. their food was really good, and their milkshakes were unbelievable. i couldn't finish mine, but i really really wanted to. we walked around the mall for a while after eating to let everything settle, then headed back to campus. i spent the afternoon playing sim city and reading and organizing my notebooks for this quarter. despite the holiday weekend, breakers was still serving dinner so i had to clean, but after that i headed to emily's to watch the simpson's and alias, which were both entertaining.

  i came home to nurse my sore throat, but realized that i needed to clean the kitchen before unzi and kate get back from their respective mlk weekend vacations, so i did that. and hey...since i was in a cleaning mood...i also vacuumed and straightened my room. tomorrow i've really got to hit the books though, since i haven't done anything academically productive all weekend.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 01.20.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, January 19, 2002

  the san francisco treat

  i love san francisco. i don't even want to leave. how can i possibly be moving to houston, of all places??

  i spent the entire day with nick and debbie (who is in town visiting), and it was awesome. we went up to san francisco and parked at pier 39, where we caught the ferry over to alcatraz. we took the tour there, which was really interesting...and wow, the views from out there in the middle of the bay are unbeatable! a former prisoner was quoted as saying how effective a prison alcatraz was--to have to look out the window every day and see the golden gate bridge, and boats, and the city, and know that you can't go there.

  we came back to the piers and walked around for a while, and debbie and i indulged our inner six-year-olds by doing this bungee cord/trampoline thing where you put a harness around your waist and thighs, attach a bungee cord on either side, and then jump up and down on a trampoline, where you can do flips and stuff. that was really fun. we took pictures, so i'll have to post them to my webpage sometime.

  from the harbor, we headed a bit into town and drove down lombard street so debbie could get a good view of all the hills. as the sun went down we got to the golden gate bridge, and walked out to the first tower. from there we headed back to palo alto and went to this fantastic italian restaurant. i got a dessert with orange sherbet and a creamy pudding-type stuff filled with strawberries and blueberries and raspberries. it was soooo good.

  and now i am home, to relax with my book before climbing into bed after this fantastic day.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 01.19.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, January 18, 2002

  my amazing lack of mlk weekend plans

  i stayed at the nuthouse later than i wanted to last night--2 a.m.--and now i am sleepy this morning. it's not that i don't like staying up late, it's just that i don't like being sleepy in class the next day. in my opinion, there are few things that are worse than trying to stay awake during class when you are already pretty tired. it always seems like such a losing battle.

  but the nuthouse was fun. a bunch of aero/astro people go there every thursday night, but i'd never actually gotten off my butt to go over there. i've always had the best intentions of going on thursday afternoons, but by thursday nights i've always lost my energy. but last night valerie made me go, and i was glad she did. it was fun to hang out with my class as well as the class above us (most of our teaching assistants, which is amusing) outside the context of school and homework. and the nuthouse is a really laid back place...to the point of being a total dive. which gives it some kind of strange charm, i suppose.

  last night my roommates and i were watching tv when i realized that i will be all alone in my apartment this weekend! kate is going to tahoe to ski, unzi is heading down to los angeles. i'm going nowhere. i hadn't thought of going anywhere, though i don't know why. l.a. would be a great weekend trip, or tahoe, or yosemite, or camping on the beach. this would have been a great weekend for me to take the quick trip to seattle i've been wanting. oh well. it wil be fine here. tomorrow i'm heading up to san francisco with nick and debbie (who is in town visiting him for the weekend) to do the tourist thing and visit alcatraz. emily has promised me we'll go to the movies tomorrow night (i'm in withdrawal!), and play scrabble on sunday. hmm. that sounds really boring, i know, but when we play scrabble it is somehow a crazy good time.

  well, off to class. hopefully i'll stay awake!

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 01.18.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, January 17, 2002

  in search of the "right" path

  this afternoon i went to a women in engineering seminar. today's speakers were two former stanford students who are now working in consulting and as a professor at cornell, respectively. the topic was simple--they just discussed how they got to be where they are, and the decisions they made along the way. it was really interesting.

  maybe it's because i feel so unsure of my direction myself, or maybe i just like to hear cool stories...but i always really enjoy hearing about the paths that other people have followed to end up where they are. when i am older, i want to have great stories to tell about my life, with funny twists and turns, and things i never expected that turn out to be incredible. right now i often feel like i am just spinning my wheels down some ordinary, unoriginal road to "adulthood." going to grad school is what people like me do, so i'm just following the herd. it's not that being here at stanford is a bad decision--i am happy to be here (except, of course, when i have too much homework). it's just that sometimes i wonder if i'm following what i think i'm supposed to be doing, instead of what i actually want to do. i want something cool, i want something exciting. i like to hear about ordinary people who have ended up doing unusual things. i guess that's why i liked the seminar today.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 01.17.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, January 16, 2002

  gimme some love (or just some heat)

  uh oh. i've been up for half an hour and i'm already cold. this does not bode well for the rest of the day.

  (6:55 p.m.)

  today has been a pretty good day, i must say, despite the fact that i've been cold for most of it. in fact, my fingers are tingling now as i type, trying desperately to warm up from the chill outside. i complained to carter about the cold this morning, then realized to my amusement that he's not exactly the best person to complain to about this particular subject, seeing as how he spends his weeks in pittsburgh where the high for the day is lower than the low here. ah well.

  i am really pumped about my group assignment for e206, a project class i am taking this quarter where we learn how to design and build--from scratch--a simple control system. i am in the "wire walker" group with aaron, mike, and steve, three people who i know well and really enjoy. i know working with them will be fun. right now we're thinking of making some sort of balancing beam, where corrections will be made via propellers on each end of the bar, or some sort of air thruster system. we don't know if we're shooting too high or if we could actually accomplish more, but we'll find out soon enough i suppose.

  my me215 (a.k.a. read books about life and emotions and psychology and then discuss) class was really interesting today. it is neat to see how a group of people will open up when they feel comfortable, or when they feel like they won't be judged. that's what this class is like. for the first two hours we discussed this past week's reading assignment, a book called "the adjusted american." if you ever want to gain some alternately pessimistic and insightful observations about the needs, wants and emotions of a so-called "adjusted" american person such as yourself, i highly recommend the book. even though i didn't agree with everything said, i still was able to find some situations where i could easily identify myself...you know, the sort of thought where you go "hey, wait, i do that sometimes!"

  the most potent example for me was the story of a housewife who has been at home the entire rainy day cooking and cleaning and running errands and dealing with her children. later that night the children have finally gone to bed and she has a moment of peace and quiet. she is cleaning up the dishes in the kitchen when her husband finally gets home from work and says "you still haven't finished the dishes??" at which point the wife bursts into tears. the point is that all day she has been stressed out and anxious and all she can think of is what an outsider would disdainfully think of her as they observed her actions, and so when her husband returns and voices her negative thoughts about herself, she breaks down. the book's summation of the situation says "the unfair criticism which galls is that which he directs against himself." i think sometimes i have this same tendancy to take the slightest criticism and blow it out of proportion, and that habit is something i've been really working on lately.

  later on, the book has another great (if unsurprising) conclusion that "most of what [the adjusted american] does is undertaken for the effect it will have on other people. thus he imposes on himself a constant concern with what he thinks other people think he should be doing, or how other people evaluate what he has done." psycho-babble-ish as it may appear, in my case it is also very accurate, and yet another thing i have realized over the past few years that i am prone to doing myself.

  towards the end we did a fun activity where we sat in three groups of 7 or 8 and went around the circle asking questions...things ranging from "when was the last time you cried" to "what's the last book you read for pleasure" to "when's the last time you had a sleepless night." i surprised myself with some of the things i admitted. it really is an interesting class.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 01.16.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, January 15, 2002

  brr shiver chatter chatter

  with the exception of my first few moments of consciousness this morning, i have been cold all day. cold in my classes (where i swear they still are running the air conditioning), cold at breakers (which has no heat), cold in the study lounge, and extra cold riding my bike (which produces quite a nice gale). tonight it is supposed to be 34 degrees, and with the breeze, it feels colder. i am tempted to go buy some long underwear, and to start dressing in four and five layers. i wonder if wearing two hats would keep my ears warm?

  i made chocolate chip cookies for dessert at breaker's tonight, and they were a hit. i got tired of not having dessert, so i made them. this one guy, james, doesn't eat chocolate, so i made him some chip-less cookies. i know, just dough, very strange, but he really liked them. i joked that i should have someone else clean for me, and my job could just be to make a dessert at least once a week...and everyone else strongly favored that idea. well, i guess we'll see. making dessert takes more time than cleaning, but i enjoy getting the compliments and seeing everyone look forward to dinner that night.

  i swear, nick should just stop taking engineering classes. all he can talk about is dance. he loves it so much. i wish i had something that i was that passionate about. he is funny.

  i've got some reading to do for class tomorrow, as well as a column to finish, so off i go.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 01.15.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, January 14, 2002

  cruise and cruz

  so get this: today at jsc, debbie got to see freaking tom cruise. he was at the space center with penelope cruz and his kids, touring the place, because he is going to be the narrator for a new space-themed imax movie. dang it, here i am in beautiful california, looking forward to starting my job but not looking forward to living in yucky houston, and who should show up in yucky houston but tom cruise!

  as for me, i spent the day being productive even though my morning was annoying. well, the cause of the annoyance was my fault--i forgot that my 10:00 class was cancelled, so i could have slept an hour later. ah well. instead, i hung out in the study lounge and did the crossword. after e206 i headed to breakers for lunch, came home, played some simcity (i'm becoming obsessed, uh oh), then headed out to do errands. i hit lenscrafters, office depot, old navy, and even mailed a package, all in a few hours. dinner at breakers, followed by flute ensemble, and now i am home again, home again. i wanted to go running today but it is getting sort of late. maybe i'll go for a short one. that sounds pretty good.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 01.14.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, January 13, 2002

  back to reality

  today i am feeling much, much better, the only after-effects of yesterday's nauseous misery being the fact that i am extremely dehydrated. fortunately, there is no shortage of water and gatorade. mmm.

  i was even productive! nick and i took our cars to be washed and ended up driving to the one in sunnyvale because the one here in mountain view was closed, so that was a bit of an adventure. well, nothing exciting happened, but we at least saw a little more of the area. then we got oil changes, and then i even spotted a pier 1 on the way back, so i stopped in to get some of those picture clips christina had that i liked. now i have to figure out where to put them.

  i just realized that my windshield is clean at the moment, so it would be a great time to put more rain-x on. "the invisible windshield wiper." heh. yep, just another exciting sunday afternoon here in california. ;)

  (9:42 p.m.)

  i want to start taking pictures again. my poor camera has been sitting for far too long. the problem? i can't find access to a darkroom. apparently there is not a darkroom available for general student use at stanford, and this fact disappoints me greatly.

  now that i've decided to take the nasa job and move to houston "permanently" this summer, i feel sort of as if i'm spinning my wheels here at stanford; my feelings about being here are very conflicted. i am glad to be getting my master's degree now, as i know i would have greatly regretted not coming to grad school if in fact i hadn't come. really, i have no regrets at all about coming here. but now i'm ready to be done, and since i know where i'm going next (to houston), i just feel ready to get there, i guess. and yet i am not in a hurry to leave stanford because in only four months, i have fallen in love with the area. i love living here, i love riding my bike around and running and even doing mundane things like errands.

  i talked to neal tonight. he wanted me to come to flicks with him, but i declined the invitation. since i was sick yesterday, i didn't get anything done, and i have some reading that i really need to do in the next couple hours before going to bed. but i told him we should get together sometime soon, and i promised him i would go to flicks next week. {sigh} he is a nice guy, but i'm not sure what he wants from me, and i don't know what i want from him. the last time we actually saw each other, he wordlessly conveyed the idea that he was interested in more, and then i blew him off for the rest of the quarter. i feel sort of bad about doing that. still, i don't know... though everyone is telling me i should date him for, if nothing else, the experience...i can't explain it, but i don't really have any interest in dating anyone right now. maybe i'm too picky, or maybe i just have these unrealistic notions of finding the perfect person...maybe i'm just bad at dating. i guess i just think that dating someone should be easy, you know, it should just happen naturally. then again, when has anything happened "naturally" in my life? i guess i'll just see what happens.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 01.13.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, January 12, 2002

  being sick sucks

  i am sick. sick sick sick. i think the cashew nut chicken from dinner last night is the culprit, as i have been throwing up all day. yes, isn't that a lovely image?

  hence, there is nothing to say about today except that i have been laying in bed wanting to die. at the moment, i am feeling slightly better, hence my managing to make the three-foot trip from my bed to my computer. now i am going back to bed.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 01.12.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, January 11, 2002

  my apartment sheds like dogs

  the plumber just came by to fix our slow shower drain again and pulled out this massive gob of hair that was the culprit. YUCK. our shower drain clogs on a regular basis, and i'm not surprised to find out that hair is the reason; however, i also don't really know how to change the fact that three girls showering daily means that there will inevitably be a lot of hair shed. hmm. i guess we will just have to get some sort of strainer, or else just keep calling the plumber every month.

  (5:48 p.m.)

  well, curt and rob and ashini got here as planned to visit nick, and i hung out with them all afternoon. we ate lunch and then walked around campus. they are a fun bunch of people, however, it is also somewhat exhausting to hang out with them. there is constant laughter, which is always a good thing, but the three of them have so many inside jokes that often i end up feeling left out. but it's fun having them here anyway. tonight we're going to some club up in san francisco. should be a fun time.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 01.11.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, January 10, 2002

  about today

  i figure if i can't think of anything extremely interesting to write, i can at least try to put my day in an interesting format. here's one i'm making up on the fly.

  what made me laugh the hardest today: christina's quote that "i cannot think of a single soul i would wish anak on." she says this as she is dating chris. ha ha ha!

  what made me laugh second hardest today: irwin telling me, in response to my microsoft rant, to "be nice...or else we'll come and get you!!" (he works for microsoft. ha ha.)

  what made me most tired today: sitting through aa200b. ugh.

  what made me feel the dumbest today: not being able to make my hands work together in piano class.

  what made me feel the coldest today: riding my bike to class. brr!

  what made me feel the warmest today: eating bread and honey and laughing at the drama of survivor.

  what made me think the hardest today: trying to remember the helicopter experiment from controls.

  what made me sigh today: alex asking "where the hell is my picture of the day???? i demand resumption of the critically acclaimed non-profit program."

  the picture of the day may be transitioning to picture of the week. nick i think is uninspired, and i don't know if most of my friends really care about getting it anymore. kent says he looks at the pictures but that's it. carter says he only likes the ones that i'm in. others just poke fun at it. though i think they might begin to miss it...at least i hope they would. let's take a vote: those of you who read this page, let me know if you want the picture of the day to continue or not!

  yesterday i emailed carter basically the whole text of my journal entry, because i had a feeling it was the type of thing he likes. i was right. though he said there is definite point lossage for it being previously published material by the time it got to him. ah well. he doesn't read this page, so sometimes i inevitably repeat things. it is a fact of my personality that i repeat stories many times when i find them clever, or perceive them to be witty.

  my latest obsessive song is one that i have already obsessed over before. you know it's got to be good if it makes a return. michelle branch, "all you wanted." good song.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 01.10.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, January 09, 2002

  a collection of topics

  chris's advice to me today via im: "just say yes to random dating." i don't know what spurned the comment, or why he felt the need to explain it to me other than the fact that he said they were trying to come up with a romantic interest for brad, which then made him think about me somehow. {sigh} my sister is dating this great boy...who i had the chance to date last spring and declined, ironically. in retrospect, it's good that we were only friends, as it has given my sister a wonderful sidekick. i wonder if she realizes how great her boy is.

  i've developed a random habit of checking a webpage that lists recent earthquakes in the bay area. i never realized that there are multiple tremors each day, always so small that they go unnoticed. i have this strange desire to experience an earthquake while i am out here...one strong enough to feel, but not strong enough to do any real damage. i wonder if this is weird.

  this quarter i am taking a class called "the designer and society." except the name of the course doesn't really have anything to do with the material. it is decidedly non-techical, filled with graduate students like me who worry that they are mindlessly following the engineering trail and losing hold of their creative/emotional/human half. we read books. we meet for three hours once a week. and we just talk. about each other, about what we read, and about what we think. i am amazed to find that i am going to receive credit for something i would do voluntarily.

  carter says he likes it when i visit because i get everyone together, which they never do on their own. this makes me happy. it makes me remember that i have awesome friends who love me and who i love in return, who are willing to meet on a random sunday night for mediocre pizza simply because i asked them to.

  today was good for many reasons. 1) it was sunny. 2) the bursar's office bowed to my demands. 3) i met many interesting people in my me215 class and look forward to learning more about them. 4) nju, tunji, david and i did the dishes to the tune of random rap music that was oddly entertaining. 5) i located the nearest pier 1 so that tomorrow i can get some photos clips like christina's. 6) there is a message on my answering machine from neal. 7) i turned in another daily column. 8) alberto bought those cookies that i like, the ones with lemon jelly and a creme filling.

  today was bad for only a few reasons. 1) it turns out dawson's creek doesn't return until next week, so i missed my weekly indulgence. 2) christopher was not at dinner. nick and emily think christopher has issues, and maybe he does, but he also has a friendly smile and laughs at my jokes, and so i missed him.

  hmm. i think that is all.

  (12:05 a.m.)

  AGGGGGH!!! yet again, i have been brought close to a heart attack by freaking microsoft. the reason? my freaking computer tried to delete all my freaking email without any warning. i was calmly installing a new version of microsoft money and happily restarted my computer as requested...and when it booted again, all my email was gone! BASTARD MICROSOFT!! bill gates is lucky i knew how to handle the situation and locate the old files before they faded into the oblivion of my hard drive or else i would have figured out a way to firebomb his house. why does installing microsoft money have anything to do with my outlook express? i have no idea. money, email, money, email...i don't see the correlation. FREAKING MICROSOFT!!!

  tomorrow i go in search of a better email reader. does anyone have similar complaints about eudora, or is that a good choice? if you have suggestions, please let me know.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 01.09.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, January 08, 2002

  to do list

  getting up this morning was quite easy! hmm, i guess that is probably because my body still thinks it's already noon. silly bodies, it takes them so long to catch up.

  on the schedule for today: class (propulsion) with cantwell in half an hour, then i put on my boxing gloves and head to the bursar's office. i'm not leaving until they waive their stupid late fee. grrrrrr. they frustrate me. i guess i'll probably buy books today too. and deal with my big pile of mail, including...the official offer letter from nasa! woohoo! off i go.

  (12:12 a.m.)

  from alex: words of wisdom that made an impression on me today: when life gives you lemons, grab the tequilla and salt too. heh.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 01.08.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, January 07, 2002

  home again home again jiggity jog

  i am back in california after a wonderful holiday break. i wasn't ready to leave charlotte last week, and then i wasn't ready to leave atlanta today, but i must admit that it was quite nice to see nick's smiling face picking me up at the airport, and then return to the comfort of my room and more importantly, my bed.

  the stack of mail waiting for me is enormous! i hope it is not all bills.

  not much to report today, in any case. i spent 10.5 hours total travel time, from my arrival at the marta station in atlanta to my departure from the baggage claim in san francisco. i'm gonna unpack and hit the sack.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 01.07.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, January 05, 2002

  my up-in-the-air life

  i am caught. after a few days here i am comfortable with being back in atlanta. yet in two days i will be gone. and i am ready to get back to california, but not ready to get back to classes. {sigh} am i ever ready to do anything?? geez, i even frustrate myself sometimes. i miss nick and emily and aaron. it'll be nice to get back to them, and my car, and my room.

  we're about to watch empire of the sun. and in other random news...i bought a new journal the other day. it's funny how my online journal has become such a habit that i write every day, even when i don't have anything of interest to say. and yet i neglect my real journal even when i want to write in it.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 01.05.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, January 04, 2002

  first day of class, but not for me

  school starts for everyone here at tech today; it is funny that i am still free for another few days before i have to start back as well.

  last night was great. i went to the cheesecake factory with kent, daniel, jelly, christina, chris, and chrissy--my favorite restaurant with some of my favorite people. then we came back and the chris-people and i had a slumber party...you know, we played canasta (which i had never played before) and drank merlot and watched a young john cusack in better off dead. that is such a funny random movie.

  anyway, i don't know what's going on today. hmm. i think perhaps katie will be back sometime. yay. off we go.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 01.04.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, January 03, 2002

  rambling

  oh my god. i was trying to update my little journal here and the update page had this god-awful annoying flashing banner ad above the text box. it was horrible. i had to quit and come back. eek.

  anyway, the snow is still all over the ground here in atlanta. i wish i had my camera to take some pictures, but alas, i accidentally left it at j.r.'s on new year's eve, and haven't managed to get it back from him yet. i should really try to get it back sometime today, since a bunch of us are supposed to go to the cheesecake factory and then dave and buster's tonight, and i'm sure i'll want to take pictures of everyone. someone was making fun of me when i said "i need new pictures of you guys!" because after all, it's only been four months since i saw everyone...you know, not like they've drastically changed. but me being the photograph fanatic that i am, i want new pictues!

  la la. i'm sitting here in kent's apartment. we had a fun night--watched dvds, talked to becca and carter, and just hung out. then he put his two couches together face to face, and i had a nice little bed. :) he went to the store while i was in the shower, but he is not back yet. i assume the roads were ok, since he decided to go out at all. actually, i'm sure the roads are fine, but everyone is freaking out anyway because we're not used to having snow. silly southerners. 'course, i'm a southerner too, but hey.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 01.03.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, January 02, 2002

  winter wonderland

  hey mom and dad..."it's really coming down!" yes everyone, it is snowing!! i am all shocked and amazed. it is great! i didn't think i would get to see any snow this winter, but here i am in atlanta with flakes falling. it's not sticking to roads yet, but it's starting to pile up on the bushes and trees. i had no idea it was supposed to snow--how cool!

  this afternoon christina and i are headed to barnes and noble, i believe. and errands. dinner at doc chey's, ice cream at jake's. it all sounds like a good plan to me. i guess i've basically decided that in order to avoid making the rest of the week a "sarah feels like an inconvenience" party, i'm just going to have fun. i mean, how often do i get to see my friends anymore? not often enough.

  nick was in atlanta for new year's, but i didn't manage to connect with him. i know emily is around this week, so i'm going to give her a call and see if she's interested in doing anything.

  and so yes, i've accepted the nasa job. well, not officially since the offer letter is waiting for me in california when i get back to school on monday, but i've accepted via email. my dad called this morning to talk about it, and is all worried that i am not happy. truthfully, i am happy about it. i got the job offer in exactly the division i wanted, and all fall i have been saying that when that happened i would accept. and so i have.

  the thought of going to houston makes me feel calm. i look forward to having my own place, and being able to "set up house" without having to consider another cross-country move in 6, 7, 8...months. the only reason i am not more excited is that it is just a little strange. here i am: visiting the friends and places i spent five extraordinary years with but can no longer see more than once every few months...without my room and my car and dependent on the generosity and hospitality of these friends and their families...ready to get back to stanford but not ready to begin classes again...and then i get the final word on my job offer. and i accept it. a year ago, i never would have guessed it. i was all set for another five years of school to get that pristine ph.d., and thought i might even stay here at tech just because i couldn't imagine what it would be like to leave.

  funny how things change. so dad, if you're reading, it's hard for me to be overly excited about the job right now. but i am happy.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 01.02.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, January 01, 2002

  better than the last

  it's the new year, so happy 2002, i guess. i'm in atlanta, with many mixed feelings. i fear i am an inconvenience, an uninvited burden. i feel...detached. not a part of their lives anymore.

  i miss my car. and my room. i want to get back to california, but not back to school.

  but it's official, my job offer is in dm. so i guess i'll accept it. um. yeah, i guess that is what to do, right?

  i think so.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 01.01.02 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, December 30, 2001

  leaving charlotte

  my scrapbook is done, and i am sooo proud of it. i can't wait to show it off to my friends...my family has already been forced to look at it multiple times. ;) putting it together made me reminisce about the trip, as expected. i want to go again.

  this afternoon andrew had a reunion of sorts at his house. cayce and dave picked up my car-less self and we all went over together. ginger and sari were there as well. it was really, really nice to see some of my old high school friends again; it has been far too long since i saw ginger and andrew. i hope that the next time i'm in charlotte, i'll get to see them again. at worst, maybe seeing each other again will make me more communicative via email!

  anyway, tomorrow i'm heading back to atlanta. mom and katie are driving down, then they'll return home. katie isn't going back to tech until friday morning, but i wanted to have plenty of time to see all my friends. and i'm excited that i have a whole week to spend with them...but i have to admit, i am sad to be leaving charlotte. though i want time with my friends, this year i also want more time at home. it's ironic--i never expected that i would be disappointed to have to leave home this year. i figured my days of pseudo-homesickness were past, and charlotte had become just another place to visit. an important place, of course, because of my family, but still just another stop amidst all my travels.

  but i have had a wonderful two weeks here at home. i feel relaxed, and really happy. for the first time in a long time, i'm not ready to get back to school. i'm not ready to start studying again, and taking classes, getting up early and staying up late. i know i will readjust to the grind within a day...but man, christmas break has just been so nice.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 12.30.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, December 29, 2001

  reliving 28 days across the pond

  well, after almost two weeks of procrastination and very slow progress, my europe scrapbook grew today by leaps and bounds. it is awesome; i think i am in love with it. hee hee. my family is already sick of listening to me cry "look at this funny picture!" or "ooooh, i just had a good idea," or "this is going to be the best scrapbook ever." i've finished the pages all the way through rome. with one day left before i head back to atlanta, tomorrow i have to do pages for vatican city, pompeii, nice, barcelona, paris part 2, and amsterdam. then i'll be done! i don't think it should be a problem...i figure that i have been completing each page in an average of somewhere around 20 minutes. so it should take me somewhere between three and four hours to finish up.

  anyway. ah, the excitement of my life, right?

  tomorrow andrew is having a little get-together at his house, just so everyone can catch up. i haven't seen andrew since...geez, i don't know when. i'm hoping ginger will be there also, since she emailed me earlier and suggested we get together, but we haven't managed to do so yet. not that we've tried very hard, but i guess the holidays keep everyone busy. i haven't seen her in a year...two years? not sure. it's sort of scary how quickly you can lose track of time and fall out of touch with people who used to be really good friends.

  good night!

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 12.29.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, December 28, 2001

  christina's ideas, plus my random dreams

  i feel like i should update; however, there is nothing exciting to report. charlotte is still wonderfully relaxing. i actually wish that i had more time at home, and i haven't wished that in a long time. so i'm happy and...happy! and that's all. today i spent some of my christmas money, worked on my scrapbook, took a long walk, and went to see kate and leopold with my mom. typical meg ryan romantic comedy fluff. nice.

  so i am chatting with christina and she is suggesting topics to write about, since life in charlotte is not interesting to anyone but myself. so far we have:

  • why one should not put explosive materials in one's shoes and get on a plane
  • why do poeple eat divinity
  • how is it possible that one can mail live birds from one's local post office?

  hmm. now she's gone to bed. no more cool ideas. well, i should probably follow her example, since it is getting late. i've been sleeping insane amounts since i've been home, and i'm not sure why. also, i have had many crazy dreams about things like 1) being a russian spy plotting to overthrow the government, 2) being on an aircraft carrier cruising past hundreds of japanese submarines, and 3) creating a new sort of baseball game where the outfield fence becomes the home plate, and it's all about a stream of players throwing and catching balls over the wall. and those are just the ones i remember. i think katie's extra bed is too squishy or something. it's very strange.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 12.28.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, December 27, 2001

  the tale of a game almost forgotten

  tech played stanford tonight in the seattle bowl, and won! woohoo! i knew i was doing the right thing rooting for my alma mater instead of for my current stomping grounds. ;) sadly enough, katie and i almost forgot about the game entirely. i was sitting at the kitchen table pondering how to spend the evening and flipping through the sports page when all of a sudden i saw the blurb about the bowl game. it took a few seconds for the thoughts to filter through: "...we're in the seattle bowl, which is on the 27th...is today the 27th?...today is the 27th...oh NO!...what time is the game??...4:00??...it's already 6:00!!" at that point, my thoughts transformed to voice as i screeched "KATIE! WE'RE MISSING THE GAME!!!" and bounded into the den to flip on the tv. we saw most of the last half.

  other than that excitement, it was just another quiet day in charlotte. i've got three more days left at home. how the break has flown by... dad and i had breakfast with four of his cousins who were in town, including the california contingent of anne, peter and anna, and john and leslie. turns out john (who i'd never met) lives in mountain view (which is two miles or so from stanford...i go there all the time to go to target). i could have passed him on the street and not known who he was! small world, eh?

  after i tore through the first harry potter book on christmas eve, i thought about starting in on the second again. instead, i've started reading tom wolfe's bonfire of the vanities that my dad gave me for christmas. i don't know anything about it, other than they made a movie out of it. it's ok so far. tomorrow though, i'm going to have to postpone reading and instead spend some time working on my europe scrapbook and shopping. i need a new pair of jeans. guess i'll hit the mall.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 12.27.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, December 26, 2001

  day trippin'

  we had a nice family trip up to my aunt nancy's new house in chapel hill today, marred only by brian's ever-constant arguments and general put-downs. i swear, he is unbearable most of the time. i don't understand how he can be so negative and argumentative all the time.

  still, our day trip to tarheel country was mostly pleasant. aunt nancy's new house is very nice and comfortable, though a bit small for nine people. ;) we had a delicious christmas meal and dessert and the annual present exchange, and finally left around 5 to take grandmother back to her place in durham and then head back here to charlotte.

  tomorrow dad and i are going to have breakfast with his cousin anne...from berkeley, california! oddly enough, they are in charlotte for the holidays as well, visiting my dad's other cousin laurie, who lives in charlotte anyway. i find it somehow funny how it turned out that i wasn't the only graybeal to head east for christmas.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 12.26.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, December 25, 2001

  now i know there's something important about today

  merry christmas!

  it was a lovely holiday morning in the graybeal household. heh--we slept late. didn't eat until 10:00, and didn't even open presents until 11:00...of course, part of the reason was because dad didn't get home until 11. but then again, we all just like to sleep late now. ;)

  i got a bunch of great things. new pajamas, new running shoes, books, a few movies, and enough candy to last me a lifetime. and i think everyone was happy with their new stanford apparel. hee hee.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 12.25.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, December 24, 2001

  twas the night before christmas

  merry christmas eve! i have spent the day sleeping, picking up grandmother in huntersville, and re-reading the first harry potter book. tonight i will work a bit on the ol' scrapbook and eat a good family dinner. mmm. and that is all!

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 12.24.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, December 23, 2001

  my registration and transportation woes

  ugh. argh argh argh. i am so frustrated with stanford's student services. i found out yesterday that 1) they have changed the class schedule yet again and now two classes that i was supposed to take--and other people were supposed to take--are now offered at exactly the same time, and 2) my registration is on hold yet again for something i was totally unaware of. turns out i owe $100 for taking the piano class, and they didn't post it to my account until november 30. well, since i had checked with the bursar's office in early november to make sure my account was all squared away, and was told that i didn't owe anything and everything was great...i hadn't checked my account since then.

  so. the way things are run out there is maddening.

  but that was yesterday's frustration, and i will hopefully take care of it tomorrow...though the bursar's office is probably closed in which case i'll have to wait until wednesday and just be annoyed. but anyway. my current dilemma has nothing to do with stanford. instead, it deals with cars, and the fact that mine is in california, leaving me unsure of how i am going to get back to atlanta for new year's.

  i have burdened chris with the effort of bringing me home, and i am reluctant to burden someone else with coming up to charlotte to take me back. kent won't be back yet, and carter doesn't think he will have enough time. which i totally understand. i was hoping for the miraculous appearance of someone who actually wants to drive 4 hours up and 4 hours back, just to give me a ride. hmm. i will have to come up with something. planes are too expensive, and amtrak leaves at the ungodly hour of 4 a.m. if anyone has a great idea, please let me know!

  (12:04 a.m.)

  i must say it again: i have awesome friends. i have nothing to ever complain about in the friendship department. :) i talked to christina for an hour and a half tonight...somehow the time always flies by when i'm talking to her. she has such great stories! i am always amazed by her wonderful outlook on life in general; i wish i were more like her. she is always an inspiration to me...i wonder if she knows that. i should tell her. i don't think she reads this page.

  i can't believe tomorrow is christmas eve! the first week of my long-awaited break has really flown by. i can't help but remember last year's break, and how bored i was, and how depressed i was, and how confused i was, and how all i wanted to do was get back to atlanta. things certainly do change in a year.

  last year i listened to the counting crows' long december over and over again, waiting for the line that goes "maybe this year will be better than the last..." i didn't know what i was doing with my life, or where i was headed. i didn't want to graduate, and yet i knew that i couldn't stay in atlanta for much longer without completely losing my sanity. i came home hoping for some relaxation, and instead was met with family uproar and like i already said, all i could think about was getting back to atlanta, where at least the uproar was not quite as loud.

  spring semester was hell. i wanted to die, literally. i didn't think i would make it to the end, i still didn't know what i was going to do after graduation, i despaired over the thought of leaving atlanta, and i spent many nights crying myself to sleep, sometimes alone, sometimes in the company of a friend. my craziness strained my closest friendships, i think, and that only made my doubts even more pronounced.

  then i graduated. it happened. before i could calm down, i went to europe. i was still mired in my insanity, and the whole trip was very stressful at times...but still altogether an unforgettable experience that was fantastically fun. i came back to the u.s. and in a whirlwind, i drove to maryland and watched one of my best friends get married. it made me really happy to be there for the event, and for her.

  my highs and lows came quickly that day. later that night, i cried and cried on the front porch of the inn where we were staying, and even the presence of a friend who knew more than anyone about my hopes and fears was little help.

  the good thing was that time kept on moving. the porch steps in maryland were the last place i felt truly hopeless. i went to houston for the summer, life slowed down, i loved living with ron and phil, and i finally found a group at work doing just what i wanted to do and full of fun people. september 11 came and went and threw the country into craziness just as i prepared to cross the west and settle in for at least nine months...maybe 4-5 years. stanford is beautiful and the people are great; i am also working harder than i ever have before. i still had so many questions. is stanford the right school? (yes.) do i still want to work towards a ph.d.? (yes, but not right now. maybe in a few years.)

  it's funny how things work out. somehow in the middle of all that, my life started to make sense again. school was driving me crazy and so i began to toy with the idea of taking the job in houston once i finish my whirlwind master's degree in june. the more i thought about it, the more comfortable i became with the idea. thinking that i will be moving to houston this summer, and won't have to move again until i decide i'm ready, is really nice. and suddenly, i'm starting to feel happy more often than not. finally. i realize i have awesome friends. and a pretty cool life.

  anyway. that is way more than i intended to write, and it's now 1:15 a.m. and i'm ready for bed.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 12.23.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, December 22, 2001

  old friends and movie marathons

  i didn't write anything yesterday. hmm. i just realized that. i guess it is harder to write when i'm not doing anything. what was yesterday...friday, right? oh! i had lunch with cayce and dave, which was very nice. i am so bad at keeping in touch with most people when i'm not with them, especially this fall when i was endlessly swamped with homework, but it's always nice to be able to come home and catch up. and last night i talked to katie for a long time about all sorts of stuff, which i really enjoyed. i have an awesome sister.

  today i have no big plans. (surprise, surprise.) i rented a few movies the other night and i think i will watch one today. let's see, thursday night i watched 61*, billy crystal's hbo movie about the maris/mantle home run record chase in 1961. the other two i rented are snatch and memento, so i should have some good movie watching times ahead. i'm catching up on everything i missed in the theater. ;)

  today is jes's birthday, but i have no idea where she is...charlotte? wilmington? somewhere in between?

  i think maybe i have been sleeping too much. you know how getting too much rest can just make you even more tired? i think that's happening to me. i wake up in the morning, blink my eyes a few times, roll over, and just go back to sleep. today i got up at 11:30...i think that's the first time i've been up before noon since i got home. hee hee. i really should get back on a normal schedule, eh.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 12.22.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, December 20, 2001

  absolutely nothing

  ah, blissful boredom. today i have slept late, read the newspaper, and played video games. that's all. i love it.

  oh yeah, and i realized that i have fantastic friends.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 12.20.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, December 19, 2001

  on the third day of christmas vacation

  today was terrific. i woke up late, went to a 1:00 showing of lord of the rings with katie, came home, bummed around, ate some dinner, went to the georgia tech vs. davidson basketball game being played here in charlotte (tech won, woo), came home, redecorated the christmas tree (curse you, tree lights that pop and go dark, curse you), showered, and now i am sitting here comfy in my pajamas.

  the movie was soooo good. soooooo good. katie got mildly annoyed with me because i wouldn't stop gushing about it on the way home. i called kent and leila to tell them how great it was. {happy sigh} i will have to go see it again. i can't possibly be expected to wait another year for the second movie, and then yet another year for the third, can i? i want to see them now!!

  anyway. it was good. ;)

  home was great today. even brian, my always-ready-to-argue little brother, was agreeable. tomorrow...i have to buy new shoes (that will go under the tree till the 25th, drat), and go to a tri-family dinner (graybeals, yoders, mickles). and bum around some more. bumming around is wonderful right now. i know it makes for boring diary entries, but i think i can deal with that for a few weeks.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 12.19.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, December 18, 2001

  life in the graybeal house

  well, chris headed back to atlanta this afternoon. i'm glad he came up here to visit, but after listening to my siblings be loud and argumentative for two days, he probably will never want to come again. {sigh} whenever i have guests, it always embarasses me that our household is so loud and obnoxious. i never noticed it when i lived here, but now when i come home sometimes i just want peace and quiet, and i never get that.

  i hope he wasn't too bored. there are so many more entertaining things to do in atlanta.

  but i was glad he came.

  this afternoon i went to the dentist. ugh. i have cavities, which is ironic because all fall i was better about brushing and (gasp!) flossing than ever before. stupid dentist. stupid teeth.

  tonight david and i are going to see vanilla sky. he said he's got some free passes. whoo!

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 12.18.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, December 17, 2001

  thoughts on being home

  well. i am home. charlotte. in the past three days i have:

  • spent a lot of time on airplanes
  • gotten my marta fix for the holidays
  • seen a lot of people at a bday party in atlanta
  • ridden down to sharpsburg with anit
  • gone to church
  • seen carter's fantastic house under construction
  • hugged kent at least a dozen times
  • been driven up to charlotte by chris
  • decorated the christmas tree
  • played tennis and pool with chris
  • watched perhaps the worst movie ever (the ladies man)

  i am happy to be home, and happy to see my family. i will probably be bored many times in the next two weeks, but boredom is probably a good thing in my life right now. i need to recover from last quarter. the only bad part about being bored is that it gives me too much time to think, and then i start coming up with things like the following...

  it was so good to see kent and carter and anit and chris and james, and see them smiling. it was reassuring to see that they are happy; it was sadly nostalgic to see that they are happy without me. that i can't play a part in making them happy anymore.

  i had a good quarter at stanford. my grades weren't what i hoped they'd be, but i did have a good quarter. i readjusted to life on my own, and i made some new friends. i finally was able to stay home on a friday night and not feel like that meant i was socially inept. i had a few dates, even if i did sort of space out so that nothing came of them. it was a good quarter. but when i see my tech friends--my best friends--i want to come racing back to them. seeing them makes me feel lonely, because i know i can't see them always.

  they were making plans for a party on the 23rd, another get-together in atlanta. i won't be there. i'm hardly ever there anymore. i want to be there with them, to hear about their lives and to know what their inconsequential daily thoughts are. i miss it.

  i wonder what life would be like if i moved back to atlanta. i wonder if i would be happy, i mean, in the long run.

  i like stanford. but i still wonder.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 12.17.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, December 14, 2001

  sucking up grad school

  so i just picked up my math final that i took on wednesday. wow. in my 17+ years of education, i have never done as badly on any test as i did on this final. i got a 67. not out of 100. out of 200. even i didn't think i had done that badly. i saw the score and just laughed. it was that comical. i've never done this badly in a class in my life. i still never gotten a c, but now i have a lovely bright shining b-. thank god i never have to take math again.

  sad how i am a freaking engineer, and i never want to take math again. math is what i do! ha ha ha. man, i can't do anything but just laugh.

  i was so pumped walking out of my structures final this morning, not because of the final, but because exam week is over! i was jumping up and down punching the air in front of skilling, while most of my first year aero/astro class just looked at me with amused expressions on their faces. a bunch of us are leaving in 45 minutes to go into san francisco and eat at the cheesecake factory. mmmmmm. i think i will try to pack a bit before we leave.

  (10:24 p.m.)

  ohhhhh, i love the cheesecake factory so much. i am still stuffed, four hours after we finished dinner. tonight i had jambalaya pasta and lemon raspberry cream cheesecake. that place is my favorite restaurant. mmm. the one in san fran is especially cool--on the 8th floor of an 8-story macy's department store overlooking union square.

  i've also decided that we will now be going into san fran every weekend, because it was so much fun! after dinner we went to nike town and i bought a ghetto hat, then we wandered around. the streets were full of people hustling and bustling around, and it just made me happy. i love cities.

  i have a headache now though, so after talking to nick and emily for a while, i came home. i'm gonna finish packing and head to bed since i have to get up at 6 a.m. for my flight. atlanta and home, here i come!

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 12.14.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, December 13, 2001

  t minus 12 hours

  well, in keeping with the ae mafia journal trends (yes, we stick together even in that regard, scary isn't it?), i have made a list of all the places i've been. except i put it on my webpage. so you can go see it there, if you're interested.

  well, in twelve more hours i'll be in the middle of my last final. my final final. ha ha.

  today there was a mass round of quizzes. christina quizzes, carter quizzes. they are fun, but also make me nervous. what if i don't know as much about one of my friends as i should?? ;) hee hee.

  i am feeling a bit out-of-sorts tonight. people are getting married (jes), people are buying houses (carter), people are moving to houston to start jobs (becca, chrissy). i don't want to be an adult! i think that is why i continue to cling to school. that's why i will be frightened to leave, even though grad school has not turned out to be exactly what i thought it would be.

  i was talking to ron tonight about it all. he is probably going to grad school in the fall to get a master's, which i think is a very good decision for him. though i may complain about the work being much more than i thought it would be, i am definitely glad that i came to stanford this year to get my master's degree. i know, i'm reevaluating whether i want a ph.d. or not, and if i do, whether i want it now, but i defintely don't regret committing nine months to a graduate degree. it is something that i want, and something that i will take pride in having, even if getting there is sometimes maddening. if i hadn't come straight to grad school, i think i would have never forgiven myself.

  ron said "maybe you have been [an adult] and you just didn't know it. it is like somebody else defined what 'being an adult' means and eventually the pressure just gets stronger and stronger to conform." he is right. i wonder if my parents felt this way. i wonder if they still feel this way. it's weird--we grow up with all these preconceived notions of what an adult is, based on society and our own observations. and then one day you wake up and realize that you're smack in the middle of that transitional age range. you're 23, not too far from being 24, and you get up, run some errands, and some kid at the grocery stores asks if you want paper or plastic, ma'am. and then it hits you--"wait, i'm an adult." and if you're me, it freaks you out. ha. one of these days my conflicted brain will calm down.

  (12:55 a.m.)

  becca (who shall now be known as "becks"), is currently in the middle of her last day of work in switzerland, and she says she hasn't packed a thing, which is "pulling a sarah." hey! i resent that!

  ok, now that you all have picked yourself up off the floor from laughing... ;) i admit, i am not the most efficient packer. anytime i move anywhere new, i save it all till the last minute, at which point i freak out, start throwing things into random boxes, and yell at people who are only trying to help me. moving is perhaps the most stressful thing i ever do. and i seem to do it a lot. ah well.

  i am in the middle of a music obsession. music of any kind. i want it playing constantly. if it were possible to listen to four songs at once, i would. i don't know what has gotten into me. i just made a new cd though. yessss.

  i am pretty much done studying for structures. not that i have studied much to begin with, but structures is one of those classes where studying has never really paid off for me. it all depends on my ability to sit down, look at the test, and classify what type of problem it is. which means studying doesn't help, only practice does. so i have practiced today. and now i should go to bed. but i'm not tired. instead, i am searching for new songs to adore. i found this song by dar williams today, "are you out there," that i love. {happy sigh} in 10 hours i will have slept, taken a final, and will be done!

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 12.13.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, December 12, 2001

  hits and misses

  life is full of hits and misses. already in the 6 hours i have been awake today, i have been jerked from one end of the emotional spectrum and back again and forth ad nauseum.

  today i got snail mail about a georgia tech package to go see the seattle bowl, and email about a stanford package for the same thing. i wrote to alex and iffy, saying "oh, I am being pulled in so many directions! agh!" to which iffy eloquently replied:

  "'once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny.' yoda said that. he's smart as shit."

  iffy cracks me up.

  so we were playing this game called where in the world is kent stephen siebeneck, you know, like carmen sandiego. the first clue was "emeralds." not having any idea even which region of the country kent is in, i guessed seattle, since it is the emerald city. so he sent another clue today, and carter guessed his location before i even got home from my math final (which, by the way, sucked). hmph! i am miffed. the second clue was "tar heel," which immediately tells me that kent is in the north carolina mountains. a quick search turns up the town of hiddenite, where the largest emeralds have been found.

  i was supposed to win! i'm the one from north carolina! poop. ah well. sometimes i am too competitive for my own good, and it makes me a little insane. with carter it is particularly pronounced, like that maddening brother-sister type of thing. it is neat that kent is in north carolina--i may get to go to "lord of the rings" with him next week, with any luck. the movie opens on wednesday, but katie and i have tickets to the gt basketball game vs. davidson that's being played in charlotte that night, so i'll have to go see the movie thursday i guess...

  yeah, again, my math final SUCKED. there's no way in hell i'm getting an a in that class, in fact, the one thing that will allow me to probably get a b is the fact that pretty much everyone gets an a or b. {sigh} so i'm home listening to angry music again. but in a few minutes i'm going christmas shopping! yeah!

  (4:39 p.m.)

  ah, after spending a few hours at the mall with emily and coming home to emails and ecards from friends, i am feeling very loved. and i have coffee. mmm, coffee.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 12.12.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, December 11, 2001

  happy happy mousetraps

  i really like seeing people who look happy, or in wonder. or just smiling. this evening i was waiting in line at starbucks and the line was really long, but there was a palo alto fireman standing there just smiling, with his eyes crinkled. he made me happy. then on my way home i saw this guy just standing in a field kicking a soccer ball around, which made me happy too.

  ok, now you can all laugh at me for being a sap.

  i got to talk to daniel today! he is not going to be in town on saturday night, so he can't pick me up at the airport. basically, despite all the friends i have in atlanta, i have not found anyone to pick me up at the airport yet. carter has a family dinner, kent has an office party, chris will probably be preparing for the birthday party. christina will not even be in atlanta. ah well, i will get my marta fix.

  today there was this guy in the plaza by the bookstore laying face down on a giant mousetrap made out of a wooden box and some metal rods. there was a wall street journal lying on the ground beside him, and he held some money in his hand. we asked him if the drama department was performing "the mousetrap" and he said no. so we asked him why he was lying on the ground in a giant mousetrap. his answer? "it's political art." ok....

  i got some good studying done in the library this afternoon. now, this was only the second time i have ventured into the main library here at stanford, and i must say--WOW. it is so nice inside. tons of nice tables, comfy armchairs, good lighting, an abundance of computer terminals. i always hated the georgia tech library, which was cramped and ugly and depressing. going in there just sucked the life out of you. going into the stanford library, on the other hand, is like entering heaven. i think i will spend a lot of time there the rest of this week as i finish my exam studying.

  (8:28 p.m.)

  there is one quality in particular that i find i like much better about the stanford aero/astro department than the georgia tech aerospace school--the students. maybe it's because we're graduate students now, or maybe it's because none of us knew each other ahead of time and were suddenly thrust into all of the same classes, but the one thing i have noticed, and really liked, is how we all get along.

  at tech there were cliques. becca, karen, and me--the ae mafia. the mikes. alex and his little crew. maggy and anne. kent could always talk to any of the groups, but was probably most associated with the mafia. oh, we all spoke to each other now and then, but the little posses never really mingled.

  now, i don't mean to imply that there aren't groups of people here at stanford that tend to be seen together more often than others...but somehow, we're all friends. we all help each other out with our homework, and we all study together, and we all ask each other how life is going. one day i might have lunch with nick, valerie, aaron and robin. that afternoon, i work on homework with bree, canadian steve, joo and yuichiro. i take a break to go chat with brian and kyle. i ride home with american steve and cornell mike. and then the next day i'm having lunch with molly, tyson, new zealand steve, and canadian mike. (yes, we have too many steves and mikes.)

  i really like this part of grad school.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 12.11.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, December 10, 2001

  and then there were two

  warning--i am in a linking mood today.

  after sitting through 3+ hours of presentations on the same handful of cfd projects, it felt so good to ride home in the freezing cold and wind. it woke me back up from my catatonic state. anyway, the cfd project is written up, presented, and handed in. whew! and my controls final is over as well. i didn't finish, but neither did half the class, and i know i was on the right track, so i will just pray to the god of partial credit, and everything will be fine. two more: math wednesday, structures friday. tonight i get to catch up on the sleep i didn't get last night.

  it amazed me this afternoon to see how many of my classmates have no idea how to give a presentation. i mean, we're talking just painful presentation skills. not having rehearsed, and making obvious by the extreme amount of "ums," "ahs," and general fumbling for words. not knowing how to use powerpoint. (do people use anything else??) having hand-written slides that are impossible to read. it was bad.

  on the way home, i realized that i am totally in love with my bike. i love it, love it, love it. i will miss it over break. i hope it will not be too lonely.

  ron has a new webpage that he is working on, he says. so far, he has lots of pictures from his trip to italy with buzz in november. {sigh} i was looking through them and oh my god, i want to go back to europe right now! there was a picture of this square in florence with all these statues, and i just stared at it, thinking "i was there...six months ago, i was running around just having a good time with some of my best friends in the whole world...in freaking florence." yes. i want to go back. if i had a million dollars, i would travel the world and write about it. becca could come with me. we could start a travel magazine. she could do most of the writing, and i could do most of the layout and editing. it could work. yes.

  so tech now has its first rhodes scholar in fifty years. i feel like i should have gone after some pretigious scholarship just so everyone would have oohed all over me. i guess two national graduate school fellowships are not enough. dit dit dit. poor sarah. ;)

  ok, i am going to stop being a completely ungrateful whiny person now. off to get my math stuff organized so i can start studying. maybe if i get something done tonight, tomorrow i can go to san francisco!!

  (12:49 a.m.)

  my toes are cold. hmph. i am already wearing one pair of socks. either i can 1) put on another pair, or 2) go to bed. wow, that is a tough choice. goodnight world!

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 12.10.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, December 09, 2001

  in my mind i'm gone to atlanta/carolina

  I'M TIRED OF SCHOOL!

  this week, i am motivated by one thing: fear of failing. i will study my butt off because i don't want to get bad grades. it is very intimidating to see all these people around me who are motivated by the desire for actual understanding of the material. i was like that at the beginning of the quarter; now i just think "whatever it takes to be done and go home." break is less than a week away. so close i can almost taste the tequila shots that chris and chrissy will be doing for their birthday party next saturday night. ;)

  i went to blue mountain today to send chris an ecard for his birthday (since it is actually today...the party's just not till next saturday after finals, and fortunately, after i get back in town), and i was very disappointed to find that blue mountain is no longer free. now you can't send ecards unless you pay a yearly fee! grrr. now i will have to find a new place to send random ecards.

  well. off to the a/a library to finish up this cfd project with georg. i'm hoping hoping hoping it can be done by 6:00 so that i have all night to study controls. wish me luck.

  (11:53 p.m.)

  STRESSSSSSSSSSS...is bad. i don't like it. five days.

  (2:53 a.m.)

  

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 12.09.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, December 08, 2001

  more about me

  today? errands, studying, and hopefully a trip to see ocean's 11 tonight.

  here is a thing i wrote up so that my diary would hopefully avoid being extremely boring today. ;) it's one of those email survey things.

  my hair: light brown. or blond? shoulder-length and very poofy.
  my makeup: copious amounts of chapstick. does that count?
  my dream: fly in space, write a book, play the piano well. be in love. be happy.
  my obsession: writing, outer space, coffee, and music. and my friends.
  my most attractive feature: hmm. i have been told i have very pretty eyes.
  my favorite thing to do: have coffee and good conversation with a friend.
  i'm wearing: khaki corduroys. long sleeve black shirt. christmas socks.
  i'm eating: blueberry yogurt.
  i'm drinking: water.
  i'm listening to: my mp3 collection. currently playing-vertical horizon, "falling down"
  i'm feeling: a bit stressed, a bit tired. ready to go home for christmas break!
  i'm thinking: i want to go into san francisco tomorrow and see the bridge again.
  i'm going to: go finish reading my book. and then study.
  i see: a picture of me and my sister. surrounded by a really messy bedroom (ick).
  i need: to quit procrastinating and study for finals. and vacuum my floor.
  i find: ants in my kitchen cabinets. and in my bathroom. {sigh}
  i want: it to be next saturday, with me on an eastward-bound airplane.
  i have: glittery fingernails. for now anyway.
  i wish: i knew what i wanted to do with my life.
  i love: my friends. my family. dancing in dark clubs with loud music.
  i hate: loneliness. pastries (except hot fresh now krispy kremes).
  i miss: my friends. summer quarter 98. living in harris.
  i fear: swimming pool drains (i know, it's bizarre). failing a class.
  i smell: my vanilla candle. mmm.
  i wonder: if grad school was really the right thing to do after all.
  i regret: the way i burdened my best friends last year. not having more courage.

  (5:55 p.m.)

  whenever finals roll around, i always fall into cleaning mode. i tell myself that i can't possibly study unless i clean up the pigsty that is my room, and so i get to work. today i dropped off a bag of clothes at goodwill. it had been sitting on my floor taking up precious space since september. woohoo! but i forgot to take my old computer monitor, which i was also going to donate. turns out aaron said he'd like to have it. i wasn't going to get any money for it anyway, but it still works fine and i didn't want to toss it. now i'll just give it to aaron. one more item out of my hands.

  it's sort of scary. my cleaning sprees used to consist of simply moving piles of paper around the room until somehow it looked cleaner. now, they involve big trash bags and getting rid of large things. hmm.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 12.08.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, December 07, 2001

  friday night at the old apartment

  tgif. for sure. i have no idea what i'm going to do tonight. i think i may just sit here in my room and be catatonic for a while. really, i should study. i have my part of our cfd project (for which i've already firmly established a reputation as a slacker...either that or georg is just a cfd fanatic), and the controls final monday. more worrisome than controls is math, on wednesday. i haven't been paying attention in that class for a while now.

  i have this horrible feeling that my diary entries are going to be extremely boring for the next week. actually, probably for the next month. i predict that i will be talking about one of two things: 1) finals, or 2) sitting around charlotte for christmas break being bored. now, in my case, i think bored will be a good thing. but it's not very interesting to write or read about. maybe i will just make up stories.

  i am going to go read now.

  (i wanted to go to starbucks and drink coffee and sit, but i'm too tired to go down the street. ha.)

  (10:58 p.m.)

  well i suppose i've actually been fairly productive this evening. i read for a while, then went to dinner, then came back home and wrote up the introduction to our cfd report. nick called and then came over to hang out while he ate his delicious fast food dinner and we talked for a while. it was cool; i was glad he stopped by. now i am debating whether to clean my room a bit, or just read some more and then go to bed at a decent hour. hmm.

  i've known for a long time that i am not a big fan of large public displays of affection. now, i have no problem with people holding hands, or giving hugs, or even quick pecks. however, tonight my roommate came home with her boyfriend and i heard them come in and walk into the kitchen, and then they started to come back towards the stairs, but before they made it up the first few, they started kissing. hell, they started making out. and since my door was open, because i always leave it open when i'm at home, and since my door is also right at the top of the stairwell, i could hear them. fortunately it didn't last long. even though i had music playing, i still heard the boyfriend whisper "her door is open" and then they came on up the stairs, while i pretended to be extremely interested in my cfd book. that's the kind of pda that bugs me. i don't know why, but it does.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 12.07.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, December 06, 2001

  one down, three to go

  my compressible flow final came and went this morning without much fanfare. i think i did well. i'm almost done with my final homework assignment--controls. it's funny how much of a difference a professor can make. when i took controls for the first time a year ago, dr. calise made it understandable and even interesting. dr. enge, on the other hand, helped me become confused about even the simplest things that i used to understand. what a frustrating feeling! i'm going to have to spend some good review time this weeked to reorient my brain before the final on monday.

  tomorrow night though, i want to take a study break and go see ocean's 11. yeah movies!

  i had my last piano class today. i didn't play very well, because i didn't practice much this week. studying got in the way. {sigh} next quarter i move on to 12c, the "advanced beginner" class. i am really enjoying learning how to play. my biggest issue, not surprisingly, is getting my hands to do two different things at the same time. i can play the right hand and the left hand parts flawlessly on their own, but putting them together is sometimes a problem.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 12.06.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, December 05, 2001

  from bad to good in 24 hours

  one of my favorite things since coming to grad school are the evenings that i come home and get to talk to one of my faraway friends. sunday it was kent, a few weeks ago it was christina and daniel, tonight it was carter. he is in austin, and gets to have dinner with leila! i like hearing about everyone else's lives, and though it makes me sad that i can't be with them always, it has been a relief to realize over the past few months that moving doesn't mean never seeing those you love again.

  today began horribly. i was stressed, it was cold, i was tired, and i didn't think there was nearly enough time in the day to finish everything i needed to. i wanted to cry. it's the first time since i graduated from tech that school had stressed me out so much. sure, all quarter i have complained about how much homework i've had, but i never felt hopeless until today. i'd forgotten how horrible it feels. i can't believe i survived all of spring semester last year feeling like that! ugh!

  but i managed to get some good studying done between lunchtime and 4:30, when the aero/astro department threw a holiday party. it was really nice! all the professors came, and we had good food and free beer. quite a difference from georgia tech, where getting professors to mingle with students was like pulling teeth, and alcohol was nowhere to be found. the alcohol policies can be chalked up to the fact that stanford is a private school, while tech is public. i don't know what's to blame for the professor discrepancy.

  from there, i joined emily and valerie to go to roble and watch the end of quarter dance performances. nick was in ballet this quarter, and so he was dancing. it was good.

  then home to talk on the phone for a while, and now i've got just a little bit more studying to do for my fluids final tomorrow. off to finish up.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 12.05.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, December 04, 2001

  ya govaryoo rooskii

  i am home at 3:00 on a tuesday afternoon. this is very odd. i feel like i should be banging my head over some homework in the aero/astro library, but since i finished my compressible flow earlier than expected (with much assistance), i have a few hours. now, if i were smart i would use this extra time to study for my final on thursday, or to start on the controls homework due friday. instead, i am writing in my online journal. funny.

  becca sent me an email this morning. she had been looking over the job listings from the organization that set up her internship in switzerland, and found the following:

  the moscow aviation institute, job description: design and working processes of combustion charmbers of rocket and jet engines, organization of burning process in subsonic and supersonic flows, flow in rocket engine nozzles, computer modeling of rocket engines, numerical methods.

  too bad i can't type in russian, or the subject of today's entry would make more sense. i want to start practicing my russian again. how cool would it be to live in moscow for a while? i need to find out more information!

  i just finished practicing piano. i try very hard to practice at least three days a week for an hour or so. i'm not sure if i'm getting better or not. well, i mean, i'm playing the songs i've been assigned better, but most of that is just memorization, i think. hmm.

  i added a piece of internet poop to this page that tells you my mood. hee hee hee. this amuses me greatly.

  (4:58 p.m.)

  everyone keeps asking me why i'm rushing through grad school taking five classes per quarter and stressing myself out when i don't have to worry about money. the dod is paying my way for up to three years, so why not slow down and take it easy?

  my answer? um...i don't know.

  sometimes i want to tell everyone to stop giving me advice so that i can make a life decision and know that whatever happens, it was my own choice. other times, i want to hear opinions from everyone. {sigh}

  (10:08 p.m.)

  well we had our fall quarter flute ensemble concert tonight and it went very nicely. and i was so excited that some of my friends came to hear us play; i felt very loved. here are a couple pictures:

  
  susan, emily, me, valerie, and nick after the concert.

  

  
  florence and i (ie. the two people with the flutes) are both aero/astro people, so here we pose with all our aero/astro fans. ;) it's me, nick, goncalo, aoi, cecile, allex, andrew, florence, and valerie.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 12.04.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, December 03, 2001

  how long till opening day?

  two things i forgot to mention earlier: 1) saturday night live was actually pretty funny this past weekend. derek jeter was hosting, and so there were a lot of good yankee jokes. 2) speaking of the yankees, i was so relieved to hear that despite all the rumors of his move to new york, john smoltz resigned with the braves. yay!

  (12:28 a.m.)

  i had a really crappy day. all i could think about was how much i wanted to be home, and how unhappy i was doing this god-awful homework assignment, and how dinner wasn't that great. ...until 7:30, when i went to flute ensemble. then the stress just melted away. afterwards, i got to see nick and emily and susan and ted and valerie and just laugh. now i feel better.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 12.03.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, December 02, 2001

  about nothing

  it's gonna be a long two weeks if it keeps raining the way it has this weekend. i don't know if i like this whole "california has a rainy season" thing. nine months of sunny skies isn't enough; i want twelve. ha.

  i am stressed thinking about the upcoming week. i hope i survive. well, i mean, i know i will survive, but i hope i don't flunk out of school in the process. ;) most worrisome is this huge homework assignment that is due tuesday that pretty much everyone else has been working on for days already...and you guessed it, i haven't even started. i was working on a cfd project instead. argh.

  so i was talking to kent tonight. he is hilarious and can always make me smile. and he was so sympathizing and reasonable when we were talking about the pros and cons of rushing through a master's degree. i miss him.

  i don't really want to participate in the next few weeks. i don't want to study anymore, or take finals. i just want to see my friends, and my family.

  then again, who doesn't?

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 12.02.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, December 01, 2001

  christmas time is here

  yesterday i was talking to my sister and she said "don't forget to open your first advent treat tomorrow!" i was suddenly disappointed, because i hadn't gotten any advent treats to open. i thought maybe mom had decided that grad students are too old for advent calendars.

  but she didn't. :) today i opened the front door to take my trash to the dumpster, and sitting between the screen door and the wooden door was a box from home with 15 days worth of advent treats. today's is the standard december 1 treat--green and red paper strips to make my christmas/going home countdown chain.

  i can't believe it's december already! but christmas is my favorite holiday, i think. time to dig the christmas music out from the depths of my hard drive! and exactly two weeks from now, i'll be winging my way back to the east coast for three blissful weeks of holiday vacation.

  (6:51 p.m.)

  {sigh} i have lost faith in the georgia tech football team. i think iffy might be right when he says they have no heart. today's game was totally winnable, and in the first half, it looked like the team was prepared to do just that. we'd get our first ever win against an admittedly weak florida state team. unfortunately, a football game has two halves. and our team fell apart. my georgia tech wardrobe, down to the flip flops and bee ears, was to no avail. no matter how much i sighed loudly, or offered advice to the tv screen, we still lost. boo hoo.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 12.01.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, November 30, 2001

  should i take a part time job?

  ah, it's all sunny and nice outside so i prepare to ride home from class and enjoy the day...then i realized that it's also really cold! brr. i can't wait to get home and get my heavy coat. at the present, i'm stuck with just piling on layers of sweatshirts.

  so as i was leaving cromem last night, i saw a sign posted to the bulletin board that screamed "make $18-$25 an hour!" even though i'm never interested in the odd jobs, it's hard not to glance at something that tells me i can make a pretty high hourly salary. except this poster last night was an advertisement to come teach for the princeton review, you know, the group that tutors students on how to raise their sat, gre, mcat, etc scores. i remember someone at tech--i think it was andrew--telling me that they tutored for the princeton review, and that it was a lot of fun. so now i'm thinking about applying for the part-time job. it would be fun, i would get a chance to see if i enjoy teaching as much as i think i would, and the extra money would be nice.

  the issue, however, is time. (isn't that always the issue?) i know that i probably don't have ten extra hours per week to devote to tutoring people. maybe i could do it if i resolve to give up my free saturdays (saturday is the one day of the week that i usually reserve for not doing homework)...but i don't know if i want to do that. i guess i'll think about it.

  and in other news, i swear, one of my roommates must eat toilet paper or something. our three-woman apartment runs through rolls like ravenous animals. last summer ron and phil and i didn't go through tp at even half this rate, and i know they're guys and so they use less and all, but geez. anyway, that's my rant for the day. i'm off to target to restock the bathroom.

  (4:44 p.m.)

  one thing i will miss whenever i do end up leaving grad school is california itself. the bay area is an awesome, strange, exciting, and beautiful place. i am moments away from a million things, from lovely foothills to the breakers of the pacific to the calm waters of the bay. it really is amazing, when i stop long enough to take even the slightest advantage of it. after living in a beautiful area for a few months, i have to wonder what prompted anyone to ever make their home in a place like houston...and to think that i will probably soon be living in that mess of asphalt, humidity, and oil refinery grime. if only lyndon johnson had been from california, and nasa's premier space center could have laid its roots here in the hills instead of on the marshy and flat-as-a-pancake gulf coast. {sigh} it will make me sad to leave california. maybe i will just decide to stay forever.

  i guess this means i really can't make fun of courtney for being from california anymore. now i see what she's talking about.

  i was reminded of all this today while running errands, of all things. it seemed an odd time for me to realize how much i like the area in which i'm living, but it happened all the same. (side note: sometimes when i am doing errands, i just feel very...normal. i kind of like it.)

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 11.30.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, November 29, 2001

  vegas baby, vegas

  all of my aero/astro teaching assistants (all 2nd year grad students) have taken off to las vegas for the weekend. they sent us all an email saying they wouldn't be around to answer questions until they get back on monday, but that if they won big, we'd probably never see them again. that made me laugh.

  last night i had the worst time trying to get to sleep. i was in bed at midnight, but tossed and turned until 1:30, at which point i finally took a tylenol p.m. and fell asleep around 2. i had to get up to go to class today, and to do the structures assignment that is due tomorrow, so i was worried the lack of sleep would worsen my cold. but thankfully it didn't. i feel ok today. the sore throat is gone, and has been replaced by a runny nose and clogged ears. yes, it's a typical cold. good thing it's almost the weekend, even if this weekend will be primarily a homework weekend.

  my column today is about the space program. it's completely recycled from an old editorial i wrote for the technique, but i thought it was appropriate to appear again. the shuttle was supposed to launch this afternoon, but was delayed. in some sense i'm happy, because i'd meant to watch it but 4:41 came and went with me stuck working on homework and the launch forgotten. hopefully i can remember to watch tomorrow.

  plane tickets to houston from san jose dropped another $25...they're down to $168! i was already planning on going to visit ron and becca and others sometime in the spring, and at that price i certainly can't resist. now if only i could figure out what my schedule is going to be so that i can plan a suitable weekend to be away...

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 11.29.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, November 28, 2001

  do you have a cure for the common cold?

  i slept almost twelve hours last night, and still woke up with a cold. i know, i know, once you are already coming down with one, it's pretty impossible to make it magically go away. despite my sleep, i have a stuffy nose and ears. ugh. if anyone ever invents a cure for the common cold, they will make billions off of poor people like me who hate sniffling. instead, i guess i will pacify myself for a few days with some sudafed.

  anyway, since i just got up, i can't think of anything to write. off to the shower.

  (12:39 p.m.)

  so it's official. of all the pairs of teams that could possibly meet in dozens of college football bowl games, it turns out that georgia tech and stanford will play in the seattle bowl. my old school versus my new school. how ironic! iffy tells me i should jump on the stanford bandwagon, that tech has no heart. this is one of those games where i can say flightily "oh, it's good for me no matter who wins," and giggle. or maybe i can just wear tech pants and a stanford shirt. or a tech shirt and stanford sweatshirt. or something.

  no worries though. i know where my loyalties lie. though i probably shouldn't tell anyone here that i'll be rooting for the yellow jackets...

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 11.28.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, November 27, 2001

  happy thoughts

  i told a girl at flute choir last night that i was amazed i haven't been sick yet this quarter...only to wake up this morning with a hint of a sore throat. noooo! sore throats are always the first sign. i am going to finish my homework in the next two hours (which should actually be possible for once because i only have a few touch-ups to do after working all afternoon) and go to bed early. yes.

  i am getting really excited about heading back east for my three week christmas break. chris told me last night that he and chrissy want to get a small crowd together the night of the 15th, and that got me all pumped. as i always say...i am enjoying life at stanford, but miss the company of close friends. it will be really good to see them all soon!

  this evening after dinner, nick and emily and i made a replacement sign for our friend jerry's door. he unfortunately had his sign taken a few weeks ago, which was a big deal because it was carefully drawn to show all the boroughs of new york, with a big arrow to the part of queens that he is from, and he'd had the sign throughout his entire five years here at stanford. we were sad about it, so we made him a replacement today and taped it to his door. i really hope he likes it, because i really liked making it for him. here it is:

  

  kent makes me laugh. he wrote today from somewhere in pennsylvania/maryland vaguely near the farm, and said he's keeping an eye out for my grandmother, byron, and any stray herds. that made me laugh out loud right after i got up this morning.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 11.27.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, November 26, 2001

  a start on the new webpage

  well i finally made a few updates to my webpage. i still have to actually post all my old technique articles, and i have more pictures to scan and add to the houston-san fran road trip page, but hey, at least i got a little bit done.

  (5:43 p.m.)

  i just added about 15 more pictures to the road trip page. i think i'm done with days 1 and 2...more pictures from days 3 and 4 are forthcoming.

  i got my first major plea for money from georgia tech today. i guess that's what happens when you become an alum. included was a brochure listing the names of everyone who has graduated in the past ten years who has donated, and i was happy to see that my name is already on the list. probably for the measely $5 that i gave the student foundation, but still, i am a donor. ha! well, we will see how much i can afford to give them now.

  i like the idea of supporting my alma mater. when i am rich and famous, i will donate money for something cool--you know, like free paper in the aerospace computer lab, or more pizza for the technique office. ;) ha ha ha. no, seriously, i will give money for something like a scholarship for aerospace students, or maybe if i am really rich, for an endowed chair.

  (11:23 p.m.)

  it is COLD! tonight it is supposed to get down to 37 degrees. and here i am without even my heavy coat. i have plenty of sweatshirts, so i guess i'll just pile 'em on. time to dig out the fleece tigger hat.

  i talked to chris tonight and he said carter bought a house. !! of course boy hadn't told me it was official, i just knew he was thinking about it. now i will have to wait until tomorrow when i can call and harass him for more details! wow. a house. chris also said chrissy looks like she will take a job in houston...which i find very ironic. i've been a semi-houstonite for years now, liz moved there last june, becca will move there in january, chrissy will now move there in january...and i will in all likelihood move there this coming june when i finish my master's and take a full-time job. (note to readers--yes, i am still thinking i will take the job.) that makes four people from my extended crowd of friends at tech that will have moved to houston, and that's not even counting all my co-op friends that are already there. crazy. but nice.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 11.26.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, November 25, 2001

  the palo alto bar crawl

  well, this weekend i learned a bit about the nightlife in downtown palo alto. friday night was spent at blue chalk with the crowd, then last night nick, christopher, aaron and i spent an hour or two at a bar called left at albuquerque. they boast that if you can find a brand of tequila that they don't stock, you can drink for free. which translates to "we have a hell of a lot of tequila." so we had a few margaritas, got nick tipsy for maybe the first time in his entire life, and then headed to safeway and back to lyman for a late night frozen pizza snack. it was another fun night.

  even so...bars are ok for hanging out and all, but i still want to go dancing!

  it's finally sunday, and that means i have to spend the rest of the afternoon and probably most of the evening doing homework. i'll take a break at 6 to eat dinner and do dishes, since sunday is my cleaning night, then i'll take another break at 9 to watch alias, but other than that, yeah, it's a work day. i knew it was coming...after all, i spent the past three days goofing off completely.

  (12:09 a.m.)

  ugh. three weeks, then my first quarter will be over. i can't wait to have three weeks without homework!

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 11.25.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, November 24, 2001

  someone didn't want me sleeping

  this past night was a weird one. i went to bed at 4 only to be woken at 6 by some fool calling my cell phone, which i had forgotten to turn off. the number was an atlanta number, but not one that i recognized. i just let it ring, and then turned the phone off. i went back to sleep only to be woken up again around 7:30 by this huge storm raging outside. i had left the window open because it gets warm in my room if i don't, and the blinds were blowing every which way. so i quickly jumped up and shut it. even with the window shut, it sounded like a hurricane outside--the wind was so strong i started to get worried. finally i feel back asleep with the storm still blowing, only to be woken up yet again just after 9:00 when my normal phone rang. the storm was over at that point so after i let my answering machine pick up--whoever the bastard was, they didn't leave a message--i finally fell back asleep again and successfully slept in peace until a few minutes ago.

  so now i am not very well rested at all. ugh. but the sun is trying to show itself, so that's nice. and i'm off to the laundry room at last to get my clothes clean before the big tech-uga game at 4:45!

  (10:17 p.m.)

  please do not ask me to comment on the football game. it was long, it was ugly, and we played like crap. that is all.

  i need to stop websurfing so much. it takes me to random things like

  your name of sarah makes you easy-going and refined, but detracts from your physical vitality. you desire all the finer things in life--lovely clothes, home, furniture, and environment. however, procrastination is your worst enemy, and you find yourself lacking the ambition to make your dreams a reality. people are inclined to take advantage of your sympathetic, tractable nature. you naturally attract people with problems who seek your understanding and advice. you can give good advice although it is unlikely that you would follow it yourself. you would be most successful in situations where you can use your skills in diplomacy in handling people, but where you are not under pressure or required to carry responsibility and make decisions. it is difficult for you to be individual and make your own decisions, for you lack self-confidence. your desire for sweet, rich foods could cause overweight, circulatory problems, or weakness in the kidneys.

  and then i start to actually think the empty internet knows something about me. funny, eh?

  this four day break has totally thrown off my timing. it's saturday, right? which means tomorrow is my last free days, which means i actually will have to get some homework done. right-o.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 11.24.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, November 23, 2001

  kick nasa in the seat of the pants

  so china plans on sending a man to the moon. that's cool. i wonder if it will motivate the u.s. to get our sorry butts out of low earth orbit again. that would be nice. and a guy in england is planning to launch himself on a homemade rocket next year, after a successful test flight yesterday. i hope he doesn't blow himself up.

  anyway. i want to go shopping today because i've been meaning to go shopping for the past month and a half...but i don't know if i really want to deal with the day after thanksgiving crowds. hmm. my laundry situation is becoming desperate; perhaps i should take care of that first.

  (2:23 p.m.)

  there are ants in our bathroom. ants! i can't seem to get rid of them, because i can't find where they're coming from. is it possible for them to be coming up the sink drain? they always appear around the sink. people said the ants get bad here in the winter when it starts to rain and they all swarm indoors. i guess they were right.

  (3:34 a.m.)

  driving home just now, i came across a skunk directly in the middle of the road. a skunk! i realized that i don't think i've ever seen a real, live skunk before. it was black with the double white stripe down its back and everything. i stopped, not wanting to run it over and have the smell everywhere, and it darted around in the road for a minute before running off into the bushes. weird.

  today was a lot of fun. this afternoon, aaron and christopher and nick and i wandered around town and ended up at some random mall in san jose for a while before heading back to round table pizza for dinner. then tonight a whole big group of us went to a bar called blue chalk in downtown palo alto and drank and chatted and played shuffleboard (i know...that sounds strange, but it was fun). after that all ten of us headed to denny's for a late night breakfast and more conversation. it was really fun. i like all my fellow aero/astro people. they're a really good crowd to hang out with.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 11.23.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, November 22, 2001

  thanksgiving conversations

  well, emily is in san diego and i am better rested after taking her to the airport and then coming home for another four and a half hours of sleep. we talked about all sorts of funny things in the car...spring break plans, and feelings about being at stanford, and stuff. emily has some quirky qualities about her that i never thought i would like, but as a whole, i am really glad she has become my friend. sometimes my conservativeness needs breaking down. anyway, in three hours i get to go have thanksgiving in the student union. i guess it's better than nothing.

  i was settling into bed early last night when my cell phone rang....christina! we talked for two solid hours; we finally hung up when she laughed and said "i just looked at the clock and it's almost 4 a.m. here!" i miss talking to her. i like the way i don't feel like i have to hold anything back when i'm with her.

  it's funny how in the past i have always avoided the telephone, preferring to either talk face to face or through the computer (the latter being the much more likely situation because i am a big fraidy-cat). but now, i find myself always anticipating the next time my phone will ring, and the next time i will get to talk to an absent friend.

  there are things in my life that i need to leave behind, ideas that i need to get over. i have a bad habit of picturing the way i want things to be, and of course it is impossible for life to ever turn out exactly the way you wanted it to. for a few minutes, christina was giving me relationship advice. see the thing about me is that i don't jump into relationships--hell i don't even tiptoe into relationships--easily. i am great at being friendly and funny, but the minute something begins to show signs of a relationship, i lose control of all rational thought and freak out. and run away. i am not sure if that's what i'm doing right now or not.

  most of my problems and fears are rooted in my many insecurities, and some days i think i am really improving. i like stanford and despite all my complaints about the workload, i feel like i am getting another good education, and learning a lot more than i did the first time around at tech. though i miss atlanta terribly, one thing i have learned over the years is that i am "better" when i am pretty much on my own. i know that "better" is a relative term, but what i really mean is that when i'm living more independently--like i do in houston, like i am here--i become a more even-keeled person. i feel much more stable. and so lately, i have been feeling both happy and sad, happy because my life seems calmer, but sad because i miss my close friends.

  of course on some days, i am a hopeless cause. but the good days come more often than the bad now, which is a definite improvement over last year.

  anyway, i apologize for the cryptic nature of that little aside. it isn't directed at anyone but me, believe it or not. hey--this is my journal after all.

  in any case. i have formed this obsession with crossword puzzles lately. i do the one in the daily every day, sometimes successfully, more often unsuccessfully, and sometimes i do them online too. emily says will shortz, the guy who edits the new york times crossword, is her hero. i am worried he is about to become my hero too. it's a strange obsession.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 11.22.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, November 21, 2001

  on the day before turkey

  this morning on my way to class, i passed at least a dozen people with bulging suitcases waiting on the corner for one of the various airport shuttles to come pick them up. for the umpteenth time, i wished i could go home.

  but it's ok. i was moved from the wait list for tomorrow's big grad student thanksgiving meal to a guaranteed plate at the 4:00 dinner, so i am happy. nick got un-wait-listed as well for the same time, so we'll get to have real food with a lot of people instead of my lame attempts at cooking sweet potatos and green bean casserole. though adventures in cooking could have been quite entertaining.

  also, this morning i awoke to a slew of great emails. becca wrote about her excitement over the yearly "to hell with georgia" issue of the technique, which i read online yesterday and was amused by. carter replied to the boring email i wrote him last night. alex and carter both wrote to tease nick about the rednecks/truckers, i mean tap dancers, that he met last night. (he went to see tap dogs, a group of guys who used to be construction workers in australia but then formed a tap dancing group that is now famous.)

  and then, in what has to be a new record of some kind, i got an email from every single member of carter's family. two from him, one from his mom, one from his dad, and even one from rachel. it is nice to know that other people are thinking about me. it's like i have a second family! :)

  finally, yesterday i got the official letter offering me another job at jsc. i hadn't expected it to come so soon, but it was a nice surprise. they haven't given me a deadline as to when i have to reply yet, but it shouldn't be until march, at the earliest. plenty of time to think it over again, and perhaps my thinking will be clearer this year. last year i was so stressed and confused by every aspect of my life that i couldn't even think straight. things are better now.

  ah well. one more class today, then my four day break begins!

  (10:11 p.m.)

  i wanna be at home. holidays are lonely when you sit in your room while everyone slowly goes offline on icq, and you stop getting email. because it feels like everyone is with their family except you. :( my parents told me not to waste my money on a plane ticket home, and i know they are right, but it still just feels sad not be to in charlotte for thanksgiving. i can understand why people get depressed during the holidays. i feel really far away.

  i looked for el palo alto tonight when we went to the mall, but i couldn't find it in the darkness. the mall was a disappointment. apparently all the stores close at 7:00, which seems rather early. i came home to watch dawson's, and then stayed planted on the couch for west wing. we went to safeway though, so at least now i have some food in the apartment. cereal, and milk, and yogurt. and chinese leftovers from lunch with emily yesterday.

  well. i guess i will go read. i have to get up early to take emily to the airport.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 11.21.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, November 20, 2001

  single women and golden spikes

  today in the library we were talking to ryan, who is in the midst of the job hunt for something to do after he finishes his master's. he explained that his choices were either boeing in los angeles or los alamos national labs in new mexico. then he carefully added that in l.a. he could live on the beach...but he hates the beach. he loves the mountains. so he figures he can live in l.a. and have no mountains but lots of single women, or in los alamos and have mountains, but no single women. i was taken aback that the presence of single women played so largely into his plans, but to everyone else this seemed normal. now that i think about it, i guess his view is not so bad. no job, no matter how great, could make up for a lack of social life, and i suppose dating is a big part of social life.

  unless you are me. ha ha.

  in other news, today i read about "el palo alto." i knew that the city stanford is in was named for a tall redwood ("el palo alto" means "the high tree" in spanish), but i didn't know the tree still stood. a flood in 1887 knocked down half of it, but it said the other half is still standing beside a creek at one of the corners of campus. so now i have a new mission--i want to go see el palo alto! tomorrow i am going to find the redwood.

  another interesting thing i learned was that leland stanford, who founded stanford along with his wife in the name of their dead son, was quite a cool guy. he grew up in new york but moved out to california around the time of the gold rush. he campaigned for abraham lincoln and then was elected governor of california. he made his money in the railroad business as president of the central pacific railroad company. mr. stanford was the one who brought the famous golden spike to utah when the tracks met to complete the transcontinental railroad, and it turns out the golden spike is actually not in the ground at all, but in a museum here on campus. they had tapped it into the ground in utah but were careful not to dent it, then they took it back out and mr. stanford brought it back to california.

  i just thought those stories were so cool. stanford has so much history! not that georgia tech's history isn't great...but stanford's is so much more exotic.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 11.20.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, November 19, 2001

  gray days

  i got two more midterms back today, so the suspense (ha, ha) is over. yeah. i did fine on controls, and bad on structures, as expected. hopefully tomorrow we'll finally get the stupid compressible flow midterm back so i can get the entire picture of exactly how hard i'm going to have to study for finals. expected answer: very hard. i'm in a very anti-grad school mood. it's good that we only have 3 days of classes this week because of thanksgiving break. i need to recover, and my alarm clock needs to remember how to wake me up. it goes off, but i don't wake up. ;)

  my room is a pigsty. perhaps i'll clean it over the break as well. you know, prepare for studying. ha--that always seems to happen. i procrastinate my studies with the excuse that i can't study in a messy room. hey, while i'm making empty promises...maybe i'll redesign my webpage finally too!

  tomorrow i'm supposed to play scrabble, which is funny because i'm really horrible at scrabble. but it will be fun if only because it's not homework. i don't have any homework due until next monday, so i think i am going to take the next few days off.

  {sigh} i'm talking about boring homework again. so what else...? i finished lance armstrong's book and haven't decided what to read next. i think i've narrowed it down to either "the talisman" or "lords of discipline." so far this quarter i have read the second and last books of "lord of the rings" and lance armstrong's bio...and "ender's game," for the umpteenth time. i've lost track of how many times i've read that one. considering the amount of schoolwork i've had, i am really proud of myself for reading so much. i sort of want to read harry potter again, but i don't have the books with me out here. ah well.

  (2:12 p.m.)

  argh!! i spoke too soon. i just checked the webpage for my cfd class only to find that we have a homework assignment due on wednesday. i skipped class last wednesday--only the second time i have skipped any class all quarter--and he gives out a homework assignment. so i guess i will have to do it today and tomorrow. who makes homework due the day before thanksgiving?? sheesh.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 11.19.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, November 18, 2001

  when you wish upon a falling star

  ohhh, i'm still so tired. i'm supposed to catch up on sleep on the weekends, not lose even more of it. i was up till 4 again last night...but it was definitely worthwhile. we saw the leonid meteor shower, and it was really spectacular.

  i headed over to aaron's at 1 and we met up with our canadian friend steve. the three of us headed the half mile from aaron's apartment up the hill to the tiny stanford observatory, which is right next to the golf course. there were people all over the ground so we ducked through the fence and joined them. there we were, lying on the fairway of one of the golf course holes, on the top of a hill in the middle of the night. you could see the stars amazingly well considering we're only thirty miles from san francisco, and not "out of town" by any means--i could see more stars up on the hill than i can see from my driveway in charlotte.

  i had never seen a meteor shower before, and it was awesome! we were outside from about 1:30 until a little after 3, right during the peak of the storm, and we quickly lost count of how many meteors we saw. the average was probably around 3 meteors per minute, but at times we saw a lot more. we'd see three streak across the sky at once, or catch one out of the corner of both eyes. you could hear "oohs" and "aahs" coming from all over the hill, and it was hard not to say it every single time. we even saw a few really fantastic earthgrazers--meteors that burned brightly and left long green trails that didn't disappear immediately.

  it was one of the coolest things i've ever seen.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 11.18.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, November 17, 2001

  surfin' espn

  ugh, i'm tired. i got up at noon despite not getting to bed until after 4 a.m., because if i sleep past noon i feel like and utter and complete lazy slacker person. anyway. we won big game, so that's good. {sigh} you know, i just can't get into the stanford-cal rivalry the way i love the tech-uga rivalry. ah well. it's to be expected.

  so i was just taking a break from structures and surfing the web, and came across a little factoid in espn.com's "rumor mill" that says the yankees have contacted john smoltz's agent. my response? noooooooooo! i will be absolutely distraught if smoltz leaves the braves. come on, he's been in atlanta for his entire career! he can't possibly leave, and on top of that, to the yankees? the evil empire of baseball? ugh!

  and in basketball news, mike krzyzewski has signed a "lifetime" contract with duke. he's set through 2011, at which point he'd be retirement age. my respose to that one? awesome. one of the articles used that analogy that duke is to college basketball what the yankees are to baseball. i guess that's right in the sense that they are consistently good, but hey--duke is a nice team with good guys, which the yankees are a bunch of big oafs. ha. anyway, i like duke, and i love coach k. it all goes back to my 7th grade days when i was convinced i would be a blue devil one day. my brother will probably kill me for those statements seeing as how he goes to carolina, but ah well. that's another topic. duke vs. carolina. the greatest rivalry in all of sports. i could go on and on.

  hmm. i should be a sports columnist. that would be a really fun job.

  well. back to structures homework.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 11.17.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, November 16, 2001

  anyone for a game of quidditch?

  i'm officially jealous of karen and becca. i wish i could hang out with them in the middle of nowhere in england, and go see harry potter with them. actually, it is already 4:30 over there. maybe they are already on their way. whereas i am on my way to a midterm. note the disparity. yeesh.

  (4:08 a.m.)

  tonight was a really fun night. christopher is a strange but fun boy. he writes weird messages on people's things. and that's all i have to say 'bout that. it's definitely bedtime.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 11.16.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, November 15, 2001

  thanksgiving plans, or lack thereof

  if anyone can find me a ticket from the san francisco bay area (that means from the san fran, oakland, or san jose airport) to charlotte for thanksgiving for $200 or less, let me know. i think it's going to be impossible, especially with the three hour time difference. i could get home thursday, but not until evening. which would kind of defeat the purpose of going home to have thanksgiving with my family. {sigh} i guess i will be home for plenty of time at christmas. i was just hoping to remove myself from the campus for a few days. i know everything will be closed on thursday, but maybe if nick is in town i could convince him to go on a friday day trip to monterey or yosemite or something.

  today i wore my "girls kick ass" shirt. at georgia tech, they were common because of women's awareness month, but here, it was like no one could believe what i was wearing. they were all very amused. people kept asking what it said on the back, and i kept having to tell them that it doesn't say anything on the back. "girls kick ass" is all that it says. i just liked the shirt. i always get weird comments about my skateboarding cow shirt too. go figure. people are funny. and i need to do laundry.

  well, off to study for my structures midterm tomorrow. last test until finals!

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 11.15.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, November 14, 2001

  the winds of change

  so a day after i called bob to tell him that i do indeed want a job offer this year, i read online today that the new nasa administrator is going to be the man who is currently the deputy director of the office of management and budget. that could be either really good--he gets the budget under control and the country segues into a beautiful pro-space era--or really bad--he puts a moratorium on spending, the station never grows beyond its current infancy, and we never go anywhere. i'm hopeful for the first scenario, but more worried about the second.

  (10:05 p.m.)

  i have this nervous butterfly feeling in my stomach and i don't know why. i think it usually comes around when i am thinking about the future, and for the past year, i have been thinking about the future a lot.

  i have friends who say i think too much. i'm too introspective, or too prone to overanalyzation. it's not that i do or don't agree with them; it's more that i just don't know how to live any other way.

  as an undergraduate i never worried about what i would do when i graduated...mainly because i couldn't conceive of the day when i would actually be done with school. academia was where i was comfortable, where i fit, where i could do well. i was good at it.

  you know, i thought there would be some kind of quick transition, you know, just a *snap* when i would go from college life to adult life, and it would be easy and natural. if there was a quick bump, i haven't found it yet. it makes me feel like i'm permanently waiting for something. i talked to carter for an hour or so tonight. he's thinking of buying a house. a house! am i old enough to have friends with houses of their own? i keep forgetting that i'm the adult now.

  i'm thinking seriously of taking the nasa job. i want to have a place of my own that i can decorate. i want to not have homework every night. carter noted that a ph.d. is not something to jump into lightly, and i know he's right. but i have wanted one for so long. but i don't know if i would like it. back and forth, back and forth, i do the waffle dance.

  i keep saying that i am lonely, and yeah, i am. i miss my friends, and their company. i miss being with people who know me well, with whom there are no more barriers to worry about, with whom i can just be the slightly neurotic (but hopefully still loveable) sarah. but even if i was surrounded by friends, i think i might feel the same way i do now. i wish i knew what i wanted to do, what would make me really happy, what would give me some sense of purpose. i'm not sure if i'm sad, actually. i just feel kind of lost, like i'm drifting through the days but not really going anywhere.

  i talked to my sister online tonight about a lot of what i just wrote. now that she's in college, i feel like i can connect with her life a lot better. i love that, because i think she is awesome. when i left home five years ago, katie was only 13. she was a teenager while i was away, and i often forget that she had grown up. i don't realize that she's 18 now, and fiercely intelligent, and has useful and thoughtful advice to give when i ask. one reason i would love to go back to atlanta is to be able to spend more time with her.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 11.14.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, November 13, 2001

  go gryffindor

  "three days till harry potter!" i've adopted emily's rallying cry, since the rest of this week leading up to the movie is going to be hellish. controls homework due friday and structures midterm that same day. i am really scared about structures, as i have no idea what will be on the test and dr. springer, though a funny and nice old man, has a reputation for putting really random crap on tests.

  emily wants to make costumes to wear to harry potter. she wants a shirt that says "gryffindor seeker." she makes me laugh. i'm glad i met her and can hang out with her, especially now considering things.

  last night i finally got ahold of kent, and was surprised to find out he was in new york, about an hour and a half away from the city. sheesh. i can't keep up with so many friends doing consultant-ish work and ending up in a different city every week! you'd think one of their jobs would have sent them to san francisco by now, but no such luck for me.

  my aunt invited me to come up to sonoma (about an hour and a half away from stanford) for thanksgiving. it's good to have the option, but i think it might be weird. i just met her for the first time two months ago, and that was the first time my dad had even seen his own sister in twenty years. she's my aunt, but i don't know her. so i don't know if i want to go have thanksgiving with them or not. hmm.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 11.13.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, November 12, 2001

  rain rain go away

  oh yuck yuck yuck. i woke up half an hour ago to steadily falling rain. i hoped it would taper off by now, but no, i'm going to get to either a) ride my bike or b) walk to class in this crap. it's days like this that i miss the lovely stinger and how it would pick me up and drive me to the aerospace building. ha--there aren't even any public access roads that lead to my building here. i'm going to be soaked. {sigh} yes, the rainy season has begun.

  (11:29 a.m.)

  ohhhh my god it is so miserable outside. i had no pants to wear this morning except jeans, which of course take forever to dry, so i rode to class and then sat through structures and controls shivering. then i walked into math, which is held in this huge auditorium where apparently no one can figure out how to turn off the air conditioning. see, the climate here is such that you really don't need a/c all that often anyway, but some of the newer buildings have it. and they don't know how to turn it off. hence, it is always cold. i am always cold in math class as it is, and today, i just couldn't stand the thought of sitting there in the arctic for an hour and a half in my still soaking-wet jeans, so i turned around and came home. so here i sit with a nice cup of hot apple cinnamon tea listening to music, and it is lovely. too bad i have to start doing homework.

  (11:59 p.m.)

  all i've done today is complain about the rain. blah. it stopped raining, though it is still wet, and there is more to come. but it stopped for now.

  flute ensemble tonight was nice. victoria--the girl who plays the solos on this gorgeous three-movement irish piece we're playing--wasn't there, and since i'm second chair on that piece, i got to play them for a night. that was a lot of fun. i'm so glad i was able to continue playing my flute out here. even though i don't play nearly as much as i did in high school, i would really miss it if i wasn't in some kind of musical group tooting my flute.

  anyway. it's time for bed.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 11.12.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, November 11, 2001

  wanting to go off-road

  i need to rearrange the furniture in my room. right now i have my desk in front of the window, which is nice because i like to be able to look outside. however, it is a real problem every afternoon from about 2:30 until 5:30 when the sun is going down and shines directly into my window and into my eyes as i sit trying to work on the computer. of course i can shut the blinds, and i do. but i would rather not have to shut the blinds, because it's much nicer to be able to work with sunlight streaming in the windows rather than with the awful fluorescent light on my wall.

  yes, i know. such a pressing problem, isn't it? heh. my boring life amuses me sometimes. anyway. i don't know if i will actually bother to move furniture or not. my room is an odd shape, and i don't know if there is a better way to put things than where they already are. and i'm really only in my room during the sun-setting period on the weekends. during the week i'm always in class or the study lounge.

  i have had a really good weekend. i didn't get any homework done yesterday, which was bad, but i am making up for it today by doing my math homework and hopefully starting on compressible flow. i keep telling myself that there are only two more quarters of doing this much homework--then it's either off to start a ph.d. or out into the real world where i can leave my work at work.

  speaking of which, i have to call bob tomorrow. he's the co-op coordinator at jsc. just like last fall, i have again gotten myself mired in a semi-annoying game of phone tag. i call him, he's not there. he calls me, i'm in class. argh. i just want to ask him to send me a job offer again. i want to have it in my hands. i'm more likely to take it this year than i was last year.

  i wish i had gotten the bike with bigger tires. see, back when i bought my bike at the beginning of the quarter i had a choice between a mountain bikes with quasi-road tires (thicker than normal road tires, but thinner than mountain tires, and smooth) and a mountain bike with mountain bike tires (the fat, knobby ones). i couldn't decide but after input from the salesman and from my dad, i picked the one with road-ish tires, because it takes less energy to pedal and because i thought the only place i would ever ride would be on campus.

  now though, i'm loving my bike. and there are so many places to ride around here, so many trails! and i'm wishing i had mountain bike tires so i could explore the trails. but i don't have them. and i can't put them on the frame that i have because the frame is too small. any suggestions? i want to ride all over the place.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 11.11.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, November 10, 2001

  grilling in the rain

  it's been drizzling since this afternoon, but we went ahead with our plans to bbq some steaks for dinner. we all went over to aaron and christopher's apartment and used the grills there. they live in lyman, which has a reputation of being the nicest of grad housing here. it was indeed nice, but also reminded me a lot of the apartments at tech. same style--long hallway with doors off either side, apartments with living room, bathroom, small kitchen, and two bedrooms. same style furniture.

  dinner was great. i joined aaron and nick for a trip to the grocery store this afternoon around 2:00, we came back and made pasta and cut up vegetables and marinated the steaks. they were finally done around 7:00 and we ate and had aaron's peanut butter cheesecake for dessert. i got to meet chihuahua the chinchilla, who is very cute and soft even if she was jumpy and scared. it was a fun time.

  now i'm home for the evening, and happy. normally i'd be depressed to be sitting at home at 9:30 on a saturday, but i had such a great day. so now i'm going to try to get a little homework done, and then get to bed at a reasonable hour because i'm still a tired girl. i may try to get up in time to go to church in the memorial church tomorrow. i've been wanting to go all quarter and haven't yet. perhaps tomorrow.

  (1:20 a.m.)

  ok, so i just watched saturday night live, and you know, it's not nearly as funny as it used to be. i haven't watched in a long time, but tonight i caught the end of "shakespeare in love" on nbc and saw a promo that gwyneth paltrow would be hosting snl, so i figured i'd watch. since i like gwyneth paltrow and all. but it just wasn't that funny. the majority of the sketches aren't funny as much as they're just plain crude. i don't think i laughed but once or twice. am i right, or am i just old? i think i'm right.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 11.10.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, November 09, 2001

  you think you know, but you have no idea

  so after seeing katie's and jelly's little quizzes, i got bored this afternoon and made one for myself. so if you want to take a 20-question quiz about me, click here. my sister currently has the high score (go katie!) my sister also has mono. :( she found out earlier this week. that sucks. i wish i could send chicken soup through the mail.

  i am exhausted. my eyes hurt. perhaps i will take a nap. though i'm rather anti-napping. napping never seems to really help me, it just makes me groggy. so instead of just being tired, i'm tired and groggy, which really isn't any better. oh, and i'm cranky. in fact it's probably worse when i take naps. so i don't. i will go to bed early tonight, after we get back from seeing k-pax. yay movies. i love going to the movies.

  after hearing him speak last night, i went to the bookstore today and bought lance armstrong's book. i read the first chapter, and it looks like it will be an easy and entertaining read. yay.

  (1:10 a.m.)

  tonight i went out with aaron, christopher, nick, valerie, and susan. all we did was go to the movies, but...

  this is a group i can deal with. this is a group that i really like. we laugh and talk and i feel comfortable with them. they could fill part of the void that was opened when i left tech.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 11.09.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, November 08, 2001

  "not about the bike"

  the stanford bookstore is this absolutely gorgeous place run by barnes and noble. there is a huge selection of books, a coffee bar, computer software, and every kind of stanford paraphenalia you could ever want. unfortunately, they don't have reams of engineering filler paper and the kind of clicky eraser i need. how frustrating! it makes me long for the nerdy contents of the tech bookstore's shelves.

  anyway. i picked up the daily today only to find an article on the front page about lance armstrong speaking here on campus tonight. so i bought a ticket and headed over to the pavilion to check it out. he was there with eric davis (baseball player) and a tennis player and a moderator, and they talked about "athletes winning the battle against cancer." of course the topic wasn't surprising, since lance armstrong is known for being a kick-ass cyclist who won three tours de france after beating cancer.

  i don't know why i find him such an interesting guy. it's not like i've ever had cancer, or even known anyone close to me with cancer. i just think his story is so inspiring. when i was at work over the summer, i would come in and check the news every morning and i would always read the cycling update to see how he was doing on the tour, and i was excited when he won again, even though i know nothing about cycling.

  i dunno. i just think he is awesome.

  my long week finally comes to an end tomorrow with a controls midterm. after that, i'll only have one more test until finals--structures, next friday. i think i may sleep the whole weekend. emily is going home for the weekend, i just found out tonight. she leaves tomorrow morning. she thought she had told me, and maybe she had, but i didn't remember. i was hoping to go dancing. i have been wanting to go dancing for weeks but it never happens. anyway. nick's always busy with valerie, and emily's gone, so i will have to find someone else to hang out with this weekend i guess.

  i think i might be ready to be done with school for now. i'm thinking seriously about taking the nasa job this year. it scares me to think that i might not get a ph.d., because for so long that has been my goal. and i really do think i would enjoy being a professor someday...for which i'd need a ph.d. but i don't know. i just feel like i'm stuck, and maybe leaving school would be the best way to shake me out of the rut.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 11.08.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, November 07, 2001

  chinchillas

  a pretty normal wednesday that ended on a high note. it began with three hours of class, but math ended a half hour early when the fire alarm went off, so aaron and andrew and i had a lovely lunch over at tressider (that's the student union). they have chinese food. mmm. it's a great food court--my only complaint is that they close at 2:00...and often try to shut the gate even earlier than that. mildly annoying.

  anyway, i spent a few hours after lunch writing my column for next week, then went to my last class of the day, then headed to the daily office. i am always nervous walking into the office, as i'm afraid mark will tell me that he didn't like my column, or that the topic isn't good enough. this week was even worse after the email i got last week about how my topics needed improvement. but it went ok today. i guess.

  dinner was nice, and afterwards i did a practice controls midterm in preparation for the real thing on friday. dawson's was on so i watched that from emily's room, then watched west wing...all the while, emily was down the hall playing scrabble. i suck at scrabble. anyway, the game finished and she and christopher came back and we hung out for a little while. then i was exhausted, so here i am. home.

  christopher is this cool guy that i recently met at dinner. he kills mice. see, he is majoring in immunology, and specializing in leukemia, and so he uses mice and infects one of them with cancer, then kills that one and harvests the tumors to infect other mice so he can test different things. i don't completely understand the process, but it sounds very interesting.

  also, he taught me about chinchillas. he has a chinchilla. i had no idea what one was, but it turns out to be a strangely cute animal that looks like a cross between a rabbit, a mouse, a hamster, and a squirrel. his chinchilla is named chihuahua. i was so amused. he said he'd bring it over some time. i get to meet chihuahua the chinchilla--how exciting!

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 11.07.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, November 06, 2001

  drip drip drip

  {sigh} it seems i can hardly talk to nick anymore without it coming out wrong. i tend to disguise every emotion in dripping sarcasm when i'm around him. i don't really know why. i hate it. i'm sorry, nick.

  i hate that i am so bad at structures homework. it really bothers me that there is an aspect of aerospace engineering at which i really suck. how did i manage to get a bachelor's degree, much less get into grad school, when i can't do the simple algebra required to complete one structures problem?

  whine, whine. complain, complain.

  not much to say today. midterm this morning, homework all afternoon, and now i sit here working on my column for the daily this week...except of course i am far too easily distracted by the lure of web surfing or working on the long-overdue revamp of my webpage.

  well. that was a spectacularly boring summary of my day. back to writing my column.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 11.06.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, November 05, 2001

  the day fades away too soon

  ugh. i hate how it gets dark so early now. not that there's anything anyone can do about it, i mean hey, that's the way the worlds turns--literally. i suppose going off daylight savings time didn't help, but still. hmm. let's just tilt the earth so that it's lighter later again. i'm sure that wouldn't hurt anything. hahahahaha. i'm such a dork--what a pathetic joke. anyway, it's only 5:30 and it's already dark and it's just depressing. darkness makes me sleepy.

  and it's getting chilly outside. a sweatshirt is no longer enough to really keep me warm on my bike rides home once the sun has gone down...but i don't want to carry around another jacket, so i just suck it up and deal with being cold for a few minutes.

  and now that i've done the requisite complaining for the day... ;) so i turned in my cfd take-home midterm today, and have the midterm in compressible flow tomorrow. i should study for it, but i just can't convince myself that it will be very hard. i mean, come on, all i have to do is take the given numbers and plug them into given equations. maybe i'll have to derive a few of those equations, but i've done that so many times before. and it's an open book, open note test! the odd thing i've found about grad school so far is that while the homeworks are a bit harder and more time-consuming...the tests are easier and often open book and notes.

  hmm. i just decided that my diary must be extremely boring to anyone who doesn't actually know me...and quite possibly boring to even those people who do know me as well. all i ever talk about is school and homework, and i never tell any funny stories, and i never write about how i went and did such-and-such cool thing in the bay area. i will have to work on that! i don't want my life to be boring.

  (9:54 p.m.)

  two things i forgot to mention earlier. one is that i finished the entire crossword in the daily today all by myself with no help. yeah!!

  two, we got a list of breakers members at dinner tonight and i just want to offer this example of the diversity found here at stanford. the following are the hometowns of people:

  falls church, va beirut, lebanon buenos aires, argentina kazan, russia lancaster, ca old tappan, nj sao paulo, brazil manila, philippines cairo, egypt albuquerque, nm honghu, china winchester, ma mahtomedi, mn stockholm, sweden chaguanas, trinidad & tobago salt lake city, ut san diego, ca orebro, sweden burke, va hutchinson, ks dallas, tx piura, peru

  new york, ny toronto, canada colfax, ca kingston, canada aliso viejo, ca boston, ma boulder, co lagos, nigeria hyogo, japan moorestown, nj fountain valley, ca oklahoma city, ok geneva, switzerland ardon, switzerland ostra husby, sweden tehran, iran murcia, spain charlotte, nc (yay me!) beijing, china huntington beach, ca saratoga, ca poprad, slovakia

  i find it just amazing that i get to eat dinner every night with people from all over the world. i think dinner may be my favorite time of the day.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 11.05.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, November 04, 2001

  if you change your mind, i'll be first in line

  if you change your mind, i'm the first in line, honey i'm still free, take a chance on me, if you need me let me know and i'll be around, if you got no place to go and you're feeling down...if you're all alone when the pretty birds have flown, honey i'm still free, take a chance on me, gonna do my very best and it ain't no lie, if you put me to the test, if you let me try...

  today i am obsessed with this crazy song that emily played for me last night during a game 6 commercial break--an erasure cover of abba's "take a chance on me." i swear, that girl gets songs stuck in my head like no one else. she has hundreds upon hundreds of cds, and knows so many neat songs that i've never heard before. she's the music buff i always wish i was.

  so i have gotten myself into a rather sticky situation with this guy i met when i first got out here. i think he's cool and so i hung out with him a few times, and we went to the movies on friday...and then i realized i'm not interested in dating him. but on friday he made it fairly clear that he's interested in me, and so now i don't know how to tell him that i only want him as a friend. {sigh} any suggestions on how to get out of this predicament?

  anyway. i'm sitting here working on my cfd take-home midterm and it's oh-so-fun. actually it's not that hard, but i am really paranoid about making a mistake. i mean, it's take-home and open book, so i figure i should be able to do pretty darn close to perfect on it. hopefully i can finish this problem in the next half hour so i can watch the world series...

  (10:05 p.m.)

  i think that may be the best world series i've ever seen. wow. what a great seven games. i haven't been this pumped about a series since 1995...i can still remember standing in that parking lot in chapel hill listening to the game through a walkman when marquis grissom made the final out and the braves won.

  tonight, i was all prepared to come home and write about how it was a fantastic series except for the fact that the yankees won again...but geez, i should've learned by now that it ain't over till it's over. bottom of the ninth, with the incredible mariano rivera pitching. i'm cursing up a storm because it looks like there's no hope for the diamondbacks and the freaking yankees are going to win for the umpteenth time, and then all of a sudden there's a hit! and another! next thing i know luis gonzalez is standing there with a chance to win the game and he hits a blooper into shallow outfield and bam--the yankees are dethroned and the arizona diamondbacks are the 2001 world series champions. i can't imagine how it could have ended any better. it gave me goosebumps. ah. game 7 is why baseball exists. totally. awesome.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 11.04.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, November 03, 2001

  i want to go back to atlanta

  does anyone know what holes are like this time of year? i'm thinking of moving into one. i miss my friends in atlanta and houston something fierce, and i'm getting stressed out by the various issues of the friends i have here. i can't deal with all the complexity that keeps on trying to run my life, and i so badly want everything to just be normal again, like things were way back during my first few years of college. maybe one day i will learn to quit caring about how other people treat me. i can hope, can't i? {sigh} i think i'll go running.

  (10:18 p.m.)

  song of the moment: u2, "stuck in a moment"

  I'm not afraid
  Of anything in this world
  There's nothing you can throw at me
  That I haven't already heard

  I'm just trying to find
  A decent melody
  A song that I can sing
  In my own company

  I never thought you were a fool
  But darling look at you
  You gotta stand up straight
  Carry your own weight
  These tears are going nowhere baby

  You've got to get yourself together
  You've got stuck in a moment
  And now you can't get out of it

  Don't say that later will be better
  Now you're stuck in a moment
  And you can't get out of it

  I will not forsake
  The colors that you bring
  The nights you filled with fireworks
  They left you with nothing

  I am still enchanted
  By the light you brought to me
  I listen through your ears
  Through your eyes I can see

  And you are such a fool
  To worry like you do
  I know it's tough
  And you can never get enough
  Of what you don't really need now
  My, oh my

  You've got to get yourself together
  You've got stuck in a moment
  And you can't get out of it

  Oh love, look at you now
  You've got yourself stuck in a moment
  And you can't get out of it

  I was unconscious, half asleep
  The water is warm 'til you discover how deep
  I wasn't jumping, for me it was a fall
  It's a long way down to nothing at all

  You've got to get yourself together
  You've got stuck in a moment
  And you can't get out of it

  Don't say that later will be better
  Now you're stuck in a moment
  And you can't get out of it

  And if the night runs over
  And if the day won't last
  And if our way should falter
  Along the stony pass

  And if the night runs over
  And if the day won't last
  And if our way should falter
  Along the stony pass

  It's just a moment
  This time will pass

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 11.03.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, November 02, 2001

  tp and the silver screen

  crisis averted. today i went to safeway and bought toilet paper. such is life.

  tonight i'm finally going to see bandits. i know it's probably not any sort of terrific movie, but it looks funny and entertaining and more importantly, it means that i am getting off campus. tomorrow i have this huge desire to go dancing in san francisco...i wonder if emily would want to come? she keeps saying she knows of a great place to go. i dunno, i just want to go somewhere and forget about homework for a little while and shake my groove thing. ha. ;)

  so apparently there is a "credible" threat to suspension bridges in california, which of course includes the bay bridge and the golden gate bridge in san francisco. a few months ago the news would have seemed distant and disconnected from my life, but suddenly i live in the bay area and it's very strange to think that something near me could be targeted. i mean, i don't think anybody's going to want to take out stanford anytime soon, but i can't imagine what would happen to this area if something happened to one of those bridges. getting from one place to the other would be a nightmare. however, in some weird sense it's nice to think that if someone did manage to damage a bridge, the loss of life would be much less than in a skyscraper.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 11.02.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, November 01, 2001

  pound the keyboard, get those words out

  so in the midst of a websurfing break yesterday, i came across this: nanowrimo. short for "national novel writing month." the idea is to get a bunch of people to write 2,000 words each day, and at the end of the month they will have produced a 50,000 word novel.

  i found the concept very intriguing. they don't care what you write about or how good (or alternatively, how crappy) the writing is...instead, the idea is just to write. though i've thought a lot about writing some sort of book, and i'd love to be able to say one day that i had had something published and sold...but i've never had the desire to write a novel. i always think more along the lines of humor, or history, or fact-based books. you know, some sort of non-fiction about the space program or something.

  i wonder if i could write a 50,000 word novel in a month. i wonder what would happen if i took an hour each day to sit down and just write whatever happened to be in my head. hmm.

  it would probably be mindless drivel. ;) but maybe i'd get a few good sentences. maybe i'll try it.

  tech won tonight, which made my day a happy one. i wore my bee ears to dinner, even if it made everyone look at me a little strangely. i think they brought good luck. as for the game, it can pretty much be summarized by leila's song:

  we won, we won
  joe didn't fumble
  ohh yeah,
  we won, we won
  whoop whoop
  we rule
  

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 11.01.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, October 31, 2001

  of owl cookies and adventures

  my colum tomorrow is called "choose my adventure." it's silly, it's light-hearted, hopefully it's clever. it was far too easy to write, mainly because i can think of so many ways my life could turn out. my column only had space for four choices:

  1. go insane.
  2. work for nasa.
  3. get my ph.d.
  4. switch to journalism.

  of course i worded them with a bit more wit and elaboration. in any case, i think it's a funny column. you can all read it tomorrow in the daily.

  i got my math midterm back today. that'll teach me to blow off serious studying via the excuse "well i've had this class before." i didn't do nearly as well as i should have, and bemoaned the fact that i'm not smart enough to be in grad school. i'm not used to this kind of competition. though i suppose that's my problem in the first place--thinking of school as a contest. grades don't matter as much now as they did for undergrad. i should concentrate on really learning the material.

  but bad grades still upset me.

  this evening we had owl cookies at dinner, and everyone loved them, which made me really happy. i sat across from a guy who used to be business manager at breakers and just happened to stop by to visit tonight. he graduated with an aero/astro ph.d. in 1997, and coincidentally worked at nasa for four years in the late 80s. hmm...does that echo anyone else's life here? wow. anyway, it was really great to talk to him. the most helpful thing he said consisted of the three words: "it gets easier." that was comforting.

  (10:13 p.m.)

  today's low? being belittled by a good friend, then coming home only to be met with:

  Hi Sarah,

  I wanted to discuss column topics with you. We liked your application for its humorous writing style, unique perspective as a first year graduate student, and mix of ideas. Your columns have been using these strengths very well, but we also want to urge you to consider writing about more general topics. Personal experience is vital for a column - but we want the personal experience to lead to some larger issue or theme about Stanford or the world. We want the columns to look outward at what's happening in our community and world.

  If you redirect your focus while still including personal experience and your clever writing style, we think the column will be stronger.

  so i get it. after i just mentioned earlier how much i liked my column this week, i find out they don't like my columns. i use too much personal experience, i use too much of the word "i." you know, i'm sorry if i don't have opinions about the world. i'm sorry if i don't know what's going on at stanford because i'm stuck under piles of homework. i'm sorry if i write much better when it's a story related to me. i'm sorry if i sometimes i write just in hopes of being entertaining, and not to make some life-altering point. serious columns bore me, hence i don't write them.

  geez. every day it's something different. i just want a normal life!

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.31.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, October 30, 2001

  rain rain go away

  i hope today is not such a blah day. though it is hard to not be blah when it is chilly and drizzly outside. i don't know how i will ever survive a winter of rain. i need to get one of those dorky looking fenders for my back bike tire so it doesn't spray all over the back of my clothes. at least my cherished rain coat, the one i carried all through europe and fawned over, will come in handy.

  here is my plan for the day, please try to contain your excitement:

  9:00-10:15 go to class
  10:15-6:00 do homework
  6:00-7:00 eat dinner at breakers
  7:00-10:00 make owl cookies

  i know, i know, you were on the edge of your seat weren't you? and yes, that is correct, i am going to spend eight hours doing homework. i am becoming so karen-esque. i don't know if i should credit my new work ethic to true motivation, or simply to fear of failing. {sigh} my life is boring. i want to go into san francisco and escape the yuppie clutches of palo alto for a day. maybe i'll have time this weekend.

  (11:19 p.m.)

  well, i am proud to say that i actually stuck to my plan. and it worked. i got a lot of homework done, and made 75 owl cookies for dessert tomorrow night. they came out well.

  while in durand today working, i paused at least every 10 minutes to mutter, er, lament loudly "why oh why did I come to grad school?" i decided today that this summer i'm going to work for a newspaper in sydney. that sounds divine.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.30.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, October 29, 2001

  my constant dilemma

  i can't do my homework. again. argh. i sat down today to take a look at my calendar and realized that i will be lucky to survive the next two weeks--i have three homeworks due this week, one large homework due next week, and three midterms next week. i don't know if it's worth all this work, grad school i mean. i can't see myself doing this for five more years...then again, i can't see myself doing anything else. my constant dilemma.

  flute ensemble was cancelled tonight, so i have more time to work, or as the case may be, more time to stare at my blank sheets of paper with nothing on them save the problem statement itself. i hate this. when i know how to do a problem, it gives me a lot of satisfaction that i'm able to do it right away. when i don't know how to do it, you'd think somehow i'd derive even more appreciation from the work it takes to figure it out...but no. i just get frustrated.

  i want to go visit atlanta.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.29.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, October 28, 2001

  one ring to rule them all

  Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
     Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
  Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
     One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
  In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
     One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
     One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
  In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.

  i finished lord of the rings yesterday, after devouring the third book in about a week and a half, which i thought was pretty quick since i have so much other stuff going on. the story itself is divided into three books, and the first and the third were far better, in my opinion, than the second. the second was more of a chore to get through, while the first and third had me on the edge of my seat. all in all, it was a really great story.

  odd as it sounds, i think my favorite characters were the black riders. whenever they appeared, i found myself unable to read fast enough to find out what happened next. they were utterly terrifying. i mean, i liked frodo and aragorn and especially gandalf--oh, and treebeard and the way he kept going "hoom hoom" and calling people "hasty"...but the black riders were the most vivid in my imagination.

  for the longest time yesterday evening i couldn't figure out why my phone wasn't working. i was on campus dialing someone else on campus, but the 5-digit dialing didn't work. then i finally realized why. i kept dialing a 6 first. the numbers don't start with 6 here, they start with 7. they start with 6 at georgia tech.

  and in final news, i am in heaven. finally, after five years, i have gotten rid of my piddly 15 inch (you know, only 13 inch viewable) monitor. it served me well for a long time, but now i'm tired of squinting, and scrolling, and looking at websites with half the resolution they recommend. so i finally took it off my desk, and it's now sitting in the top of my closet gathering dust. in its place is a beautiful 17 inch lcd monitor that i got on sale at comp usa yesterday. beautiful. i love it.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.28.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, October 27, 2001

  just another saturday afternoon

  last night was interesting. dinner at valerie's was good, but it was weird to be at a dinner party with a dozen people when i only knew two of them. {sigh} that kind of thing always makes me feel dumb. anyway, i was amused to find that "parties" here are like "parties" at tech--at some point, someone always manages to find an excuse to look something up on the computer, or talk about classes.

  after a few hours the party degenerated into one of those "half of us will sit bored on the couch while pretending to enjoy watching the other half swing dance" events. i can only watch people dance for so long before i start to get tired of it, so i left. i had really wanted to go to the mausoleum party to check it out, but everyone at valerie's seemingly forgot about it, so i rode my bike over there to check it out alone. it was ok. i saw a couple people there that i knew, other aero/astro students, but i didn't stay long. after i left i just rode my bike around campus for a long time. i am really enjoying my bike.

  i was supposed to go to the football game today, but valerie wasn't feeling well and though i could have called tico, i didn't. i dunno, i just didn't feel like football, unless it was at georgia tech with my harris crowd. ;) anyway, i can hear occasional cheers through my open window, and i've heard the train whistle blow a few times, so hopefully stanford is playing at least decently.

  think i'm gonna go run some errands.

  (4:31 p.m.)

  yeah, yeah, i should've gone to the game. stanford won big--we beat no. 5 ucla by ten.

  i was headed home when iffy and alex called, and so i talked to them for a while. it's funny how harris people can always just pick up where they left off. i enjoyed talking to them, even if they did distract me and i ended up getting temporarily lost in santa clara. eventually i just headed for the hills, knowing i'd run into the highway at some point.

  it's overcast here today, which made me realize that i don't know if there has been even a single overcast day since i got here. i have only seen it rain here once, and that only lasted for a few minutes. but now we are approaching november, and people who have been here for a while tell me that the rainy season will soon be here and the weather will get yucky for a few months. i bet a lot of people get the winter blues here, if all it ever does from november to march is rain.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.27.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, October 26, 2001

  adventures in laundry

  i really must stop waiting three weeks between laundry runs. maybe the first time it was understandable since i'd been on the road from houston and everything, but this time i should've done laundry sooner. i had to drive the quarter-mile to the laundry room because the basket was completely overflowing and too heavy for me to carry more than about 20 feet without almost dropping everything. silly me.

  but ah, now i have clean clothes and fresh sheets. it's like i got a whole new wardrobe or something. though i should buy more socks. socks are always the limiting factor for me. i just don't have enough socks. if i bought more, maybe i could last four weeks. hmm, then i'd have to get a second laundry basket.

  tonight valerie is cooking dinner, and then we're heading to the halloween party at the mausoleum. yes, stanford hosts a halloween party at the on-campus mausoleum. creepy, right? you can dance on the graves of leland stanford, jane stanford, and their son leland jr. it sounds extremely morbid, yet intriguing. apparently, it is quite a big event.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.26.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, October 25, 2001

  thank god it's thursday

  ahh, thursday. it's quickly becoming my favorite day of the week. why? well, on thursday i am usually done with homework for the week, meaning tonight i can do nothing but watch tv, read, drink coffee, or just sleep. friday i can do the same thing. then of course comes the weekend, when even though i have to do homework, i can still have fun. whew. all my weeks here so far have sort of blended together, as i suppose is expected when they are filled with so much work. only the weekends stand out with any kind of clarity.

  sometimes i wonder if coming to grad school was the right decision for me. that question has been particularly burning hot this week. anyway, the jury is still out.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.25.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, October 24, 2001

  life in the all-purpose library

  i'm sitting in the aero/astro library, and i just finished typing my column for this week. it's a rant about how people don't know how to ride bikes safely here. i hate using my column for rants, but i feel like this one is vaguely justified. it sucks having to fear for life and limb while riding to class.

  i like this place, the a/a library. it feels homey, not unlike the study lounge back at tech, but better. we have carpet in here, even if it is hideously red, and there's a rooftop terrace right outside. there are always people in here doing homework and writing email and doing crossword puzzles. it's comfortable here. i have started to spend most of my free time during the day in here, and it makes me happy to be around my fellow students. weird, eh?

  (9:10 p.m.)

  From: Robert P. (Bob) Musgrove (JSC-AH) (NASA)
  Date: Wednesday, October 24, 2001 8:30 AM
  To: 'graybeal@stanford.edu'
  Subject: NASA Jobs

  Sarah - how's Stanford? Please let me know what your status is related to wanting or not wanting a job offer this fiscal year. Email me back... or give me a call please. Thanks!

  and so my ordeal begins again.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.24.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, October 23, 2001

  if i had a million dollars

  ugh. very very frustrating homework day.

  we were watching "office space" today and there's a line in there about asking yourself what you would do with a million dollars. whatever you answer, well, that's what you're supposed to do.

  becca will be off to morocco for a week within a few hours. that is so cool. i wish i could go with her.

  carter has to give a speech on friday, a kind of introductory "about me" talk. when he asked if i had any ideas, i thought of the one thing that i felt really defined him when i first met him years ago--avondale. as the years have passed i've heard him speak about it less and less, but i don't know if you ever really lose a feeling like i know he used to have for that place.

  kent is in west virginia working. christina is in arkansas both relaxing and getting buff. nick spends his free time dancing in utter happiness.

  you know, if i had a million dollars, i would buy a really nice digital camera. i would start a magazine or similar publication about...well, i don't know what it would be about, but i would start one. maybe it would be about travels, and i would use my million dollars to take a different friend with me to a different place each month. that would be half of my job. with the rest of my money, i would get becca and karen to move out here and we would start our ae mafia company. granted i might have to use some of the money for counseling so that we don't argue too much, but that would be a small price to pay. ;)

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.23.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, October 22, 2001

  plans for owl cookies

  i realized tonight that halloween is coming up in less than ten days, meaning i need to make owl cookies, and soon! i won't let this be this first halloween that i haven't had owl cookies. perhaps i'll have time to go to the grocery store tomorrow to get all the ingredients. then i can make the dough on friday afternoon, and make the cookies on saturday. i think i'll make enough to take them to breakers (a.k.a. "the communist kitchen" in alex-lingo) and share them with everyone. ooh, actually, i could even use the kitchen at breakers--they have all the pans and everything i'd need.

  so the yankees won. ugh. if they don't quit winning, i'm going to start boycotting the world series. it's just disgusting. blah blah blah.

  flute ensemble was great tonight. we are playing this three movement irish piece that i love, and i lucked out and got put on first part, which is just gorgeous. i feel badly for one girl who can never seem to get anything right--she's always missing notes, and today she got reprimanded for bringing the alto flute back with huge nasty fingerprints all over it. (i mean, like she had dipped her hands in butter, and then picked it up or something--not normal use.) i have to admit that our director is rather strict. but she is making us sound really good, and as sorry as i feel for the girl who constantly messes up, i'm glad i'm getting my part right.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.22.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, October 21, 2001

  queen of cheap airfare

  so i did live up to my promise to myself, and i just got back from running. it was tough today. my ankles and shins were so stiff--i guess i didn't stretch enough after i went running on thursday. i was running a lot in houston, then i came here and didn't do anything for a month. now i'm determined to begin getting some exercise again, but after a month off i guess i need to be careful.

  i talked to carter today. ah, i love talking to my friends. it always puts me in a good mood. oh, i also bought my plane ticket home for christmas today...san francisco to atlanta for only $184.50! yeah! i'll meet katie in atlanta, and dad will drive down to get both of us. it's not out of the way for dad since he has to go get katie anyway, and i will get to see my atlanta friends. our christmas break is three weeks--that is the longest break i've had in a while! i wonder what i will do. well, if all else fails and i never get around to it this quarter, maybe at christmas i can finally put together my europe scrapbook!

  we're about to go get chinese food. then it's homework time. fun fun fun.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.21.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, October 20, 2001

  brown paper packages sealed with duct tape

  i got a care package from katie! it is awesome. she sent me techniques, and a picture of javy, and georgia tech socks, and a cd, and a space shuttle keychain and m&m's. ah. my sister rocks!

  (1:08 a.m.)

  don't go see "from hell." it sucks. i was hoping for something along the lines of sleepy hollow--which was at least somewhat entertaining. this one is just bad. {sigh} i hate spending money on bad movies, even more so when it is in california, where the movies are more expensive to begin with.

  we went to borders though, and i bought a new book. well, not a new book, but i've never read it anyway. stephen king and peter straub's "the talisman." recommended some time ago by kent, of course. i will start it as soon as i finish lord of the rings. or maybe after i read "lords of discipline," also recommended by friends. lately i am wishing i had much more time to read. it's such an enjoyable way to pass the time.

  i am worrying nick. or exasperating him. one or the other, i don't know. it has been a long and trying week, and he thinks the sole source of my discontent is the fact that he wants to date valerie. which upsets me not because valerie isn't great, or because nick doesn't deserve to date someone cool, but because it means...oh i don't know. something along the lines of "it changes our friendship." and since he's the best friend i have out here...

  but that's only one of many reasons it's been a long and generally annoying week. the other reasons are some undetermined combination of the usual--stress, lack of sleep, worry, and self-doubt.

  it'll pass. because i do like stanford, and i am doing cool things. tomorrow is a day of homework, and perhaps a trip to compusa if i have time to check out new monitors. flicks tomorrow night with new friend neal.

  i really feel like going running. i should take advantage of this motivation; however, it is very late, and my knee has given a few random twinges today. hmm. i will promise myself to go running tomorrow, and sleep tonight.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.20.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, October 19, 2001

  where did the week go?

  i don't feel very good today. a bit queasy, and overwhelmingly sluggish. i almost fell asleep right in front of dr. enge in controls class. not good.

  tonight we're going out to dinner. i think i will take a nap beforehand.

  (12:30 a.m.)

  i had the best evening! it was a girls night, and since the majority of my friends are male--with a few very notable exceptions, of course--it had been a really long time since i had a girls night. i thoroughly enjoyed myself, and am convinced we should do it at least once a month, if not every week.

  it started when emily and i headed to dinner at chili's. we sat at the bar, did the usa today crossword puzzle, had drinks, watched the baseball game, and chatted with the bartender and the old man sitting next to us. it was the kind of thing people always think would be fun and random to do, but they never actually do it. dinner was great.

  we then headed back but stopped at banana republic on the way. i got a cool green bag/purse thing. i like it. i've justified the purchase by deciding that it's my treat for making it through this rough week.

  anyway, we made it back to emily's room, where susan joined us and we drank daquiris and watched "the mummy returns." horrible movie. horrible. you know, so horrible...that it's actually really funny. we made fun of it endlessly, but watched the entire thing.

  when it was over, we talked for a while and then realized all three of us were exhausted. so we said our goodnights and i came home. for the first time in ages, i was home on a friday night before midnight and i didn't feel like a completely asocial loser. because my evening was awesome.

  so that's my happy story of the day. i'm going to head to bed now, early, and get up at a decent hour tomorrow so that i can do homework all afternoon, which will leave my evening free to go to the movies.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.19.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, October 18, 2001

  fan mail

  {sigh} i could go to madrid next week for only $295. why madrid? no reason at all. it just sounds cool.

  i got fan mail today! so exciting:

  i wanted to write you to say that i thoroughly enjoyed your column in today's daily. i also work for the daily (writing sports), so i've seen a lot of columnists come and go, but your column today was far and away one of the best i have ever read since i started working for the paper. you did an amazing job of summarizing the feelings of those of us who thought they had some understanding of that part of the world and what was going on in it, only to realize on sept. 11 that we really didn't.

  isn't that so nice??

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.18.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, October 17, 2001

  old habits die hard

  a few days after classes began, i took a trip to the bookstore and walked away with my very own soft and fuzzy stanford sweatshirt. i wanted one because stanford is my school now; i wanted one because it is chilly outside in the mornings and evenings. every day i take my new sweatshirt with me--in the mornings i wear it while riding my bike to class, i wear it while i sit in the cold classrooms, then i just tie it around my waist until night falls and i need it again. it's been with me pretty much non-stop since i bought it.

  but this morning as i am about to leave for class, i put my sweatshirt down. instead i reached into the box under my bed and pulled out my georgia tech sweatshirt! yay! it will make me happy all day.

  (10:21 p.m.)

  i have a homework assignment that is due tomorrow and i still have two problems left, but i've spurned it for tonight to give my brain a break. it's not due until 5:00 anyway, so i'll have plenty of time tomorrow. instead, i'm going to put on my pajamas, climb into my warm bed, and read. and drink apple cinnamon tea. mmm.

  i watched dawson's creek tonight. is it me, or is some silly tv show echoing my life? argh. i just want to be with my friends again. not unlike dawson--a freaking fictional character--i find myself thinking it would be better if undergrad had been horrendous. then it wouldn't be such a disappointment to come here and not find the same people.

  but i won't complain, really, i'm not complaining. stanford is good. a bit more work than i'd like, but hey, i can adjust to that. i miss my old friends, but at least i have a phone and can call them. flute ensemble is incredible, and writing for the daily is an adventure--i've never had anyone actually edit my work until now, and wouldn't you know it actually makes the columns better?

  i guess i'm just in a reflective mood. blame two things--tv and a phone conversation with kent. kentie, kentola. yep, i finally tracked the boy down after a week and a half of trying to get ahold of him. i love talking to him, even though he must be annoyed because i usually have a constant stream of questions. i just like hearing his laugh. he told me everyone on dawson's died. ;) that made up for the fact that i had to watch it alone again.

  anyway, my bed and book and cup of tea are calling.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.17.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, October 16, 2001

  don't insult spotted owls, please

  two words. homework, ugh.

  i need an idea for my column this week. please send me ideas. anything will do.

  i don't have much to write today seeing as how i've just been doing homework since i got out of class at 10:15. however, i thought i'd share this very amusing story from today's stanford daily.

  "this saturday marks the first time in 11 years that the stanford band will be allowed to perform at the university of oregon.

   "thanks to the the stanford department of athletics’ persuasion of the oregon administration, the band has been allowed to return to the oregon football stadium.

  "university of oregon officials banned the band from its football stadium in 1990 after the band performed a halftime show about the endangered northern spotted owl...."

  laughing yet? the article gets even better after a few more paragraphs.

  "in its offending 1990 show, the band had hoped to increase social awareness about the predicted extinction of the bird, according to yelderman. 'It was a very socially aware show to bring interest to the issue,' he said.

  "band members had observed that lumberjacks were destroying the owl’s habitat and causing owl populations to drop dangerously low, yelderman explained.

  "the show included what band members thought was a humorous yet informative social dialogue:

  "'mr. spotted owl! your environment has been destroyed, your home is now a roll of brawny and your family has flown the coop. what are you going to do?' 'Me? I’m going to disneyland.'"

  however, university of oregon administrators did not find the routine quite so funny, “objecting to such keen social awareness,” said junior aram cretan.

  cretan said the lumber industry plays a significant role in the oregon economy and that administrators found the band’s antics insulting. the result of the school’s displeasure was an 11-year restraining order."

  i was cracking up.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.16.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, October 15, 2001

  my poor thumb

  i am playing the bass flute for two songs in flute ensemble, and man is it hard! i've never played a bass before. i've pretty much gotten the hang of getting a decent sound out of it (you'd think after having played the normal c flute for 13 years it'd be easy to pick up bass...wrong, at least in my case), but it's so heavy that my hand is throbbing after about 10 minutes of holding the thing. especially my right thumb, which is straining to hold the majority of the weight while the rest of the fingers on that hand try desperately to hit the keys at the right time. i need one of those hand exercise thingys. it's very odd--it's like i'm learning to play flute all over again.

  dinner time. i'm starved. i hope we're having something good tonight.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.15.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, October 14, 2001

  i am the inanimate argument queen

  today i am having conflicts with my desk. yes, i know my desk is an inanimate object, and i therefore have little excuse to be arguing with it, but i am. it's amazing how i can argue with anything--computers, piles of paper, bike grease on my pants, etc. anyway, the keyboard drawer on my desk sucks. it doesn't slide out as far as i want it to, leaving my hands rather cramped as i type. i still haven't figured out the best way to fix this because i've been too lazy to deal with it, but seeing as how each day it seems to slide out less and less leaving me more and more annoyed as i type, i think the time has come to deal with this problem. i need some wd-40.

  have you ever stopped to think about fixing something, and realized that most of the world's problems could be entirely solved using only wd-40 and duct tape?

  tonight i am going to flicks. it should be quite interesting. see, flicks is this organization that shows good (or just recent) movies in memaud at 7:00 and 10:00 on sunday nights, and it is a really popular thing to go to; it's touted as "what could be better than watching a movie with 1700 of your friends?" the early one is the tame showing--the one you attend if you actually want to see the movie. 10:00 is more rambunctious, famous for massive paper fights and appearances by the marching band and people saying the lines with the movie and yelling at the characters onscreen. basically everything you're not supposed to do in a real movie theater. i figure it should either be really fun, or really obnoxious.

  last night i went with valerie and her mom and her mom's friend to see the fleet street singers, one of the many a capella groups here. oh my god, they were awesome! now, georgia tech had one male and one female a capella group, and they weren't bad...but geez, this group last night was incredible. this concert happened to be their 20 year reunion concert, and so there were many alumni who were back to sing with the new guys, and man, there are some really talented men in that group. i thoroughly enjoyed myself.

  (12:50 a.m.)

  so it seems my hundred day experiment in journal keeping has stuck. i came home with this need to write some mindless banter, even though i already wrote something earlier today.

  so i went to flicks tonight and it was really fun. i swear, people must save their newspapers for the entire week, and then hit the stands again right before they come to flicks, because i've never seen so much newsprint flying around. there are paper fights everywhere, rolls of toilet paper flying through the air, and people shouting right along with the movie...or just mocking it. before it started, they held a four-person mariocart contest. i was very amused.

  anyway, i went with this guy i met a couple weeks ago. he seems pretty cool. we ran into some of his friends, so we all sat together.

  see, i told you this would be boring. ugh. well, off to finish my math homework. i predict it will take...hmm...an hour. we'll see.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.14.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, October 13, 2001

  go cardinal?

  eventually i'm going to redesign my webpage. {sigh} i think leila may kill me if i don't do it soon; she is so impatient! ;) maybe i'll have time this weekend. i have all these things i want to put there, like pictures galore and links to articles i've written for the technique and now for the daily. but the combination of procrastination with the fact that i don't have much free time anyway has hindered me. soon, leila, i promise.

  i'm sitting here waiting for tico to come by. we're going to the stanford football game. it's homecoming, and we're playing washington state. go cardinal! (side note: i had to consciously make the effort to refer to stanford as "we." nope, i'm still not used to the whole "this is my school now, not georgia tech" thing. you know, i think i will refer to tech as "we" for the rest of my entire life. maybe stanford too, once i've been here long enough. but "go cardinal" just sounds stupid.)

  so here's my dorky moment of the day. in lieu of buying a new computer, i bought more ram. yay! i just installed it, so now we'll see if it actually helps my computer or not.

  where is tico? he was supposed to be here ten minutes ago.

  the braves won yesterday, completing the sweep of the astros. i felt kind of sad about the astros getting knocked out so early, i mean, after all, they are sort of my "home team away from my home team." it's too bad they couldn't win at least one game. if they had been playing anyone but the braves, i would have been rooting for them. as it was...i of course wanted my bravos to emerge victorious. on to the nlcs!

  (6:24 p.m.)

  so we lost the football game. i am not particularly upset about this since my stanford loyalty is still in its infancy, but i have to say that the game was quite interesting. very different from a georgia tech football game. for starters, stanford has no fight song that i can figure. when we score, there's a group of people down on the field who blow a big train whistle and shoot off a cannon. then the band plays that song that goes "all right now, baby it's all right now" and all the students clap and then at two select points in the song everyone jumps into the air, throws up their arms and goes "whoo!" there is no singing or "let's go stanford (bust their ass)" or the mascot doing pushups or anything.

  and speaking of the mascot, well, there is a guy dressed up as a tree, which is stanford's secondary mascot of sorts, since i guess it's hard to dress as a color. he wears red pants, and bounces around a lot because i guess it's really hard for a tree to actually dance. also, the tree really has no arms, so i don't understand how it's supposed to defend itself against rival mascots. and the cheerleaders are like high school cheerleaders--there are no men, so that means no stunts or flips. there are just five girls (yes, only five) shaking their booties, more like a dance team than a cheerleading squad. also, in addition to the cheerleaders there is a pep squad or something consisting of five people in red print hawaiian shirts who jump up and down and cheer and yell things into the microphone like "let's go defense" and "yay, first down."

  finally, today it was freaking hot, and the stadium is poorly designed so we spent the entire second half with our arms in the air trying to shield our eyes from the sun so that we could actually see what was happening on the field. weirdest thing of all though--the fact that california has such low humidity. we were really hot, but weren't sweating, or maybe we were and it just evaporated. anyway.

  so that is the stanford football experience. very strange. i like games at tech much better.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.13.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, October 12, 2001

  maybe the braves can win, since my jackets couldn't

  in response to becca, yes, i admit that i am politically conservative, but no, oddly enough, stanford has not been shocking to me. sure, yesterday the ed board wrote about the lack of political activism on campus and said there should be more rallies...but i can't say i've noticed any steady streams of the stereotypical california freakishness. stanford is different from tech, but not dramatically.

  in any case, today is a good day because i get to watch the braves, finally. their first two division series games started at 10 and 11 a.m. respectively out here...right smack when i am in class. argh!

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.12.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, October 11, 2001

  don't throw it to stonehands

  what is up with the georgia tech football team?!? i cannot believe we lost, in overtime, again. i cannot believe that godsey threw so many interceptions, that joe burns didn't keep the freaking ball in play to run down the clock, that the maryland kicket made that long field goal, and that joe burns (him again) fumbled the freaking ball in overtime. joe burns is the new stonehands.

  i saw alex on tv early in the game. he had his hands in fists and his mouth wide open. :) he made me laugh.

  my first column appeared in the daily today. i'll be writing one every thursday, and they'll always appear in print under the title "rarefied air." that's what i picked to call my little spot of the opinions pages. cheesy, but i was having an uncreative day when they made me come up with it. anyway, today the column is about baseball. you can go to their website and read it for the next few days, and then it goes into archives, which i haven't figured out how to get to on the web yet. supposedly they're there, but i can't find them.

  direct quote from a guy nick overhead while on his way home from class: "dude, some chick in the paper today wrote about baseball..." yes. that's all he heard. i was very upset that nick didn't eavesdrop some more, or look to see if the guy was cute. then he could of said "oh, i know her, you should talk to her sometime." anyway. ;)

  i talked to leila tonight. boy did she have a horrible day...i wish there was something i could do. a third of the workforce at her company got laid off (she didn't, luckily), and then we lost the game. we vented for a while on the phone. in an effort to cheer her up, i have finally added a schedule to my webpage. leila, now you can know where i am at all times.

  {sigh} i wonder where nick is. i banged on his door earlier and no one was home. and emily was in memaud (memorial auditorium...stanford has weird nicknames for things), and she was busy.

  ugh. my diary entries these past few days have sucked. i'm gonna go read.

  (11:39 p.m.)

  well, instead of reading i checked my email, and after that, i called christina. ahhhh. one hour and fifteen minutes of lovely conversation and laughs. she is awesome.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.11.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, October 10, 2001

  the winds of change keep blowing

  today had its ups and downs. i started out tired, but happy...because in the middle of math class, i finally figured out my cfd homework. it's amazing how sometimes things really do start to make sense if you stare at them, sleep on it, and then stare at them again. thankfully this assignment was one of those things.

  after our three morning classes, nick and i walked to breakers for lunch. thanks to the limited selection of snack foods and my strong aversion to cooking, i have recently discovered that i really like blueberry yogurt. hmm. good stuff.

  after cfd class i headed to the newspaper office for my first meeting with mark, one of the two opinions editors. he's the one that works on wednesdays. duh. anyway, it is an odd feeling to be merely a writer instead of an editor. with the technique, i would write, edit, and layout my editorials all on my own. unless i asked chris to read over it, i don't know that anyone saw it before it was printed except me.

  but now of course things are different. i sat beside mark as he read my column word-for-word, made a few changes, and then read it again. even though his corrections were extremely minor, i found the whole process very nerve-wracking. i was uncomfortable sitting there watching this guy that i'd just met go over my words with a fine-tooth comb.

  when i write something i know will be published, i edit it myself until i think it can't get any better. i wrote my column for this week, thought it was as good as it was going to get...and then mark got to put in his two cents. it's not a bad system at all, in fact i think my writing will certainly benefit from having an impartial editor. it's just yet another thing to adjust to.

  sadly enough, the highlight of my day was watching the season premiere of dawson's creek. i swear, if i were allowed to have only one vice, that show would be it. but the viewing experience, like everything else in my life, has changed. six months ago i would have recorded the show (because i would have been at technique consensus), and watched the video on thursday with christina or carter or kent. kent would tell me that everyone dies in the episode, and i would laugh. tonight i watched alone on the couch in our living room and painted my fingernails silver.

  they match my new shoes, at least.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.10.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, October 09, 2001

  drinking from a firehose

  agh. i don't understand cfd. i could go on and on about how all the taylor series and numerical expansions and differencing schemes are turning my brain to mush, but i've done that enough lately. at least the class is recorded, and i can watch the webcast anytime. listening to last week's lecture a second time made a bit more sense, and i was able to watch the problem session that i couldn't go to this morning because i have another class at the time.

  this afternoon i went to a welcome session for graduate women. it was really nice! the first hour was a sort of panel discussion by 5 current or former female grad students, and it was really interesting to hear how many of them felt the same way upon entering grad school that i do right now--wondering how my application managed to slip past and let me be admitted, thinking everyone in my classes totally understands all the material while i sit here either cursing myself for forgetting so much or just being totally clueless. worrying that i'm wasting another five years of my life in school.

  one girl in particular offered some terrific advice. her name was ayodele thomas, and she is a 1996 georgia tech grad who won a truman scholarship! i had heard early in my tech days, from randy i think, but had never met her and had no idea she was at stanford. is it just coincidence that she was the one on the panel i found most interesting? anyway, she perfectly described my thought process: ok, so i'm in graduate school, which is going to be hard and take a lot of time, and if i get a ph.d. i'll be here for five or six (etc...) years, at which point i'll finally look up and realize i'm 28 or 29 (etc...) and i'm alone and have nothing outside of school.

  ayodele thought the same thing at first. she was stuck in the mindset that school was different from the real world, and that her life was on hold until she graduated. she told us how she finally realized it would be better to accept things exactly the way they were, and to enjoy it. instead of her life being school, she reversed the process and made school only one part of her life. she joined outside organizations, she started mentoring some undergrads. she made close friends and set aside time to spend with them. she realized she is a member of the bay area community, and not merely a stanford student. six months later, she met a guy who is now her husband.

  cheesy as all that may sound, i found it rather inspiring. i sometimes wish i could warp speed through the graduate program so that i'm not late for wherever my life is going, or falling behind the rest of the world. i constantly worry that staying in school is just my way of putting off the inevitable--joining the 8 to 5 world, staring at my computer all day and then leaving at night to follow the masses of single people trying to find someone to spend their life with. it's always nice to talk to someone who had the same fears as you, and see that the worries were really unfounded, in the end.

  anyway. that was rather deep. and now, i've got to get back to my homework.

  (2:30 a.m.)

  hi. here i am. awake. late. about to go to bed, right after i make this resolution, to be witnessed by, well, whoever reads this:

  i will stay ahead on my homework and not take on any additional obligations so that i don't have to stay up until 2:30 a.m. anymore.

  procrastination and overcommitment, which led to staying up until the wee hours of the morning, is what made my last semester at tech such a hellish one. a constantly sleep-deprived sarah is a very unpleasant person to be around. i think carter, kent, christina, especially becca and karen, and just about everyone else who saw me at any point between january and may could tell you that. so there in lovely bold type is my resolution not to do it anymore.

  ok then. that's settled. good night. :)

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.09.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, October 08, 2001

  boring blabbing about homework

  agh, i hate this feeling, this overwhelmed with homework feeling. i went to the compressible flow problem session today though, and it was very helpful. even if all the second year grad students were making fun of us. jerks. anyway. i'll finish that homework tonight, and hopefully finish structures as well. that will leave controls (which i'm hoping will be easy, but i don't know because i haven't looked at it yet), and cfd (which i'm avoiding like the plague).

  i went to talk to dr. springer today with a question about the structures homework, and left his office laughing. he is such a cool guy. he must be in his 60s, and he is from hungaria and so he has a cool accent. but he's also got a great sense of humor. he told us today that you can tell how good a mathematical law is by the person it's named after. the older they are, the better the law. :) ok, so maybe that's not that funny, but i hope at least karen and becca will be amused by the engineering humor.

  as if anyone really wants to read about what kind of homework i have to do. what could possibly be a more boring subject?? so here's something funnier: tim the beaver has reappeared. for those of you who don't know him by his lovely nickname, tim was one of my ta's for fluids lab back at tech. he is an entertaining guy who is now working at pratt and whitney in connecticut. he emailed me over the summer, and again a couple weeks ago. well today he emailed and asked if i am in dr. cantwell's compressible flow class. hmm. i think he's taking the same class via video that i'm taking in person! that makes me laugh.

  this morning i was more convinced than ever that i'm going to die in a horrible bike accident. i think all the people who didn't have bikes last week went out over the weekend and bought them, because there were even more than i saw last week. it is crazy.

  my first column in the stanford daily will appear on thursday. :) you can all read it online. i haven't decided what i'm going to write yet. (surprise, surprise...do i ever know what i'm going to write about more than a few hours in advance?)

  anyway. i'd better get back to doing homework.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.08.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, October 07, 2001

  and so it begins

  so we've finally begun our retaliation. bombing afghanistan. the taliban is saying that now america has become the terrorists. {sigh} the whole thing scares me.

  i spent yesterday afternoon cleaning my room. yes, all afternoon. cleaning is a very slow process for me, mainly because as i clean, i rediscover things i'd forgotten i had and get distracted. but in the end, my room looks better than it did, so i guess i can declare the process at least halfway successful. i still haven't figured out where to put all of my clothes, and so i have a pile of sweaters that has been moving back and forth between my bed and my desk chair...but i'll figure something out.

  last night was nice though. tico called about 4:30 and said he had no plans for the night, and when i said i didn't have anything to do either, we decided to get a group together and go out to dinner. we parked underneath the palo alto city hall and walked down university avenue until we found a thai restaurant that looked good. and it was. yum. afterwards, we found a gelato place, and then walked to the brand new apple computer store that had just opened yesterday morning. they didn't have any free t-shirts left, but we had a lot of fun playing with their computers and filming our own mini-movies in the store. god, we must be huge dorks, because it was really fun.

  today is an errand and homework day. ick.

  (12:28 a.m.)

  i hate homework. it was so nice to work this summer and never have to spend my sunday nights working on problems that i don't understand, but that i should understand. i get frustrated so easily. argh. in any case, i finished the math, did maybe half of the compressible flow (which was maddening...i can't believe how much i've forgotten), and did a third of the structures. that leaves controls, and then "the big one" a.k.a. computational fluid dynamics. (cue scary music) it's only been a week and a half, and already i'm lost in that class. it's gonna be rough.

  i was working on all this homework tonight with nick. i realized he and i have never done homework together, so he didn't know how annoyed i get when i don't immediately understand a problem. i should have explained the method to my madness so that he wouldn't worry.

  in happier and less stressful news, i did two very fun things today. i got new shoes, and i got my car washed. yay for simple pleasures. my car and my feet feel so much happier now.

  i have to write two columns for the daily this week...one to run this thursday, and one to run next thursday. they work a week ahead of schedule...imagine that! definitely not how technique editorials operated. ;) anyway, i am soliciting ideas...anyone got any?

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.07.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, October 06, 2001

  sunrays and saturdays

  so it's been a while since i've had an obsessive song (yeah, a whole two or three weeks), but this is definitely the current one:

  vertical horizon
  sunrays and saturdays

  open the window
  let the sunset in
  if only for the last time
  let me see you smile again

  i'll take my records
  you can have your books
  i'm sorry i never read them
  but it says so much about us

  always trying
  to make love out of care
  the perfect recipe
  but something wasn't there

  chorus:
  i wish you
  sunrays and saturdays
  perfect starry nights
  sweet dreams and moonbeams
  and a love that's warm and bright
  sunrays and saturdays
  friendship strong and true
  oceans of blue and a room with a view
  to live the life you choose

  you'll write me letters
  i'll call you on the phone
  a wire away from touching
  and never quite alone

  we'll get to know ourselves again
  and we'll heal our hearts
  it's not that we're bad together
  we're just better off apart

  always trying
  to have one and one make two
  and even though it never worked
  i still feel love for you

  repeat chorus

  (1:17 a.m.)

  california is good, i guess. actually, i am supposing that i really don't have anything to complain about. the weather is nice and cool, and almost always sunny. the campus is beautiful, full of trees and grass and random racoons. i made the flute ensemble. i am learning how to play the piano. i have been picked as a new columnist for the stanford daily. i am surrounded by extremely smart people who are really great teachers as well. my classes are interesting. the only thing missing is people. but i am meeting new people every day, at dinner and in class and at meetings. i have found girl friends in emily and valerie and susan. i have nick. i've hung out with tico a few times. it's a slow process.

  so i think that life is good.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.06.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Friday, October 05, 2001

  chicks dig the long ball

  so barry bonds hit #70 yesterday. i'm happy for him, and rooting for him to break the record in the last three games of the season. i know people have issues with his personality, but come on, he is a great baseball player. mcgwire was, and still is, only a home run hitter. he has 56 hits this year, 29 of them long balls. this year when he's not rounding the bases, he's stuggling to raise his pitiful .190 batting average. bonds, on the other hand, does just about everything well. you gotta give a man credit for that.

  so i'm home for the day. i love how my weekends begin at noon on fridays. nick and i took a picture in front of the church for curt's birthday present, then headed to breakers for lunch and reading the newspaper. i love reading the newspaper! ahhh. anyway, we then put together the present and i headed home. i'm glad i did--as soon as i walked in, i remembered why i had wanted to come home instead of hanging out in crothers all afternoon. that reason? i have a pile of laundry the size of rhode island in my room.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.05.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Thursday, October 04, 2001

  move to california, but leave before you get soft

  today i left my room at 9 a.m. and didn't come home until just now. at tech, days like that used to make me crazy. here i hardly noticed. in fact, i might never have realized if i hadn't gotten home to two dozen email messages, and realized i hadn't checked it since before i showered this morning. it's funny how relaxed life seems out here, and how accurate the stereotype about laid-back californians is. i have more homework than i've ever had in my life--five assignments due between monday and wednesday--and yet i'm not stressed out. must be something in the air.

  i got a package! a surprise package from carter that had pictures, and a cd! i was so excited. i never get surprise packages. the pictures are great--i will scan them this weekend and try to put them here. there is one of me and my sister that i love, taken back at the beginning of september when i went to visit. it is just great. i bought myself a "sisters" picture frame just like the one i sent katie, but i hadn't put a picture in it yet...now i have one! because of the package, carter is definitely my favorite person of the moment.

  so i'm wondering if there are any parties scheduled for the weekend. last friday i enjoyed going to the shindig they had over in rains and meeting a bunch of people...i hope i get another chance to do that soon. then let's see, i have decreed that we must go to the movies this weekend or else i'll go into withdrawal, since i haven't been to the movies since i was in atlanta. and then, well, i have a lot of errands to run, and major amounts of laundry to do. i haven't done laundry since i left houston. it's amazing--i never knew i had so much underwear and so many pairs of socks.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.04.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Wednesday, October 03, 2001

  a picture's worth a thousand words

  i truly feel that this picture sums up becca's entire life:

  

  lost in some exotic locale. that's becca. :)

  (11:07 p.m.)

  tonight i had dinner with the provost. now before you go thinking i've already worked my way into the political picture here at stanford, let me assure you that it was a fairly random occurence. last week i got an email saying "hey, if you want to have dinner with the provost, email us back. there's room for 20 students; if more want to go, we'll draw names out of a hat." so i emailed, and either i got lucky or they got exactly 20 responses. in any case, this evening i ate with the provost, dr. john etchemendy.

  he was a really interesting guy to talk to. he was once a stanford graduate student himself, in the philosophy department of all places. he then taught at princeton for a few years before coming back here as a professor, then philosophy department chair, and now provost. he was younger than i expected--probably no older than 55, at the very most.

  i was very impressed at the thoughtful questions asked. it was obvious that the other students eating with me weren't there merely for the free food. the points i found most interesting were:

  • the provost is like the chief executive officer of a company. he approves every faculty appointment, and every promotion. he makes decisions that affect housing, transportation, athletics, and every other auxiliary service. he watches the budget and decides what money goes where. he keeps the university running. (until tonight, i really had no idea what a provost did...i just knew it was an important position. now i see why.)
  • stanford's yearly budget is $2 billion, including endowments and everything. the "general fund" is about $500 million.
  • dr. etchemendy honestly feels that stanford is as good right now as it's ever been, in terms of quality of faculty and quality of students. he called us "the best university in the world at the moment."
  • stanford accrues an incredible amount of debt. each year, the university borrows as much as it can without losing its triple-a loan rating. (i'm not totally sure what that is, but maintaining it is important.) the board of trustees will not allow the university to borrow more than that because they want to reserve the right to borrow a huge amount and drop to the double-a rating in case there's an earthquake and stanford has to rebuild.
  • the athletic department has at least one very strong supporter--a local man who owns a construction company and takes it upon himself to make sure the athletic corner of campus stays ship-shape. he brings his own company in to do all the landscaping.
  • there are more graduate students here than undergraduates. if some professors and administrators had their way, they'd take it even farther, cutting undergrad enrollment in half and doubling the number of grad students. but stanford needs undergraduates because most of them pay tuition, while most grad students don't (because of fellowships, etc).

  so dinner was very enjoyable. it's so nice to see high-ranking administration taking the time to talk to ordinary students. they never really seemed to do that at georgia tech.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.03.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Tuesday, October 02, 2001

  it's been a day, yeah, just a day

  well. actually not much to say today. i got a review of thermodynamics courtesy of dr. cantwell's compressible flow class. i had a turkey sandwich and ramen noodles for lunch at breakers. i hadn't eaten ramen noodles in years, and so i actually quite enjoyed them. while i ate i read the new york times. what a great newspaper!

  after lunch i did my controls homework. it was all going well until i got to the last problem and realized that i've pretty much completely forgotten how a circuit operates, and thus could not derive the differential equation for it. it's not really my fault, since i'm not an electrical engineer (at least that's the excuse i'm using), but it was frustrating nonetheless. so i took a break and went to get the handlebars on my bike tightened so that they won't shake anymore. bought a hex wrench so that next time i can do it myself.

  rode back onto campus and headed to durand for the controls ta's office hours. xavier was no help at all from 5-5:30 and only confused me even more, but drew took over at 5:30 and suddenly everything made sense. finished the homework and headed back to breakers for dinner. it was really good tonight--chicken curry with random coffee cake and whipped cream for dessert. yum.

  went to roble with nick and emily to watch him run through his tap routine for his audition tomorrow. it looks good. i like the pull-backs at the end, even if it does look kind of funny. it sounds cool. came home, and put together half my application to be a columnist for the daily. i can't decide which of my 'nique editorials to submit...i need to choose two of them. decisions, decisions.

  soon, to bed. :)

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.02.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Monday, October 01, 2001

  i love visitors

  ah, october 1. this is my favorite month of the year for hundreds of reasons, including the beginning of autumn, halloween, college football, memories of random fun in octobers past, and this email that i received today:

  Travelers: Chris, Christina
  FLIGHT SUMMARY
  -------------
  Ticket Confirmed
  Round Trip

  Flight: from Atlanta, GA (ATL-Hartsfield Intl.) to San Francisco, CA (SFO-San Francisco Intl.)
  Depart: 3-Mar-02 at 9:45 AM
  Arrive: 3-Mar-02 at 2:03 PM
  Flight: from San Francisco, CA (SFO-San Francisco Intl.) to Atlanta, GA (ATL-Hartsfield Intl.)
  Depart: 9-Mar-02 at 11:55 AM
  Arrive: 9-Mar-02 at 9:55 PM

  woohoo! so chris and christina get the distinction of being the first to schedule their trips to sunny california to see the bay area and the lovely stanford university. they're coming out over their spring break. :) i am so excited!!

  (5:17 p.m.)

  yeah! i just bought my season tickets for basketball this year. they just went on sale today, and if tico hadn't mentioned it to me i might have missed out! at first i found the whole process very strange because i've never had to pay for tickets before; then again, georgia tech never had a great basketball team while i was there. stanford, on the other hand... anyway, i am pumped. the first exhibition game is november 6.

  this afternoon i sat outside in the sun for a while and finally read chapter 8 in the two towers (lord of the rings, part 2). i started it about a week before i left houston, but moving out here and the start of classes had put the book on the backburner. i enjoyed getting back into it. one of my goals for this year is to read at least one book per month. over the past few months while finishing at tech and then travelling through europe and then living in houston, i rediscovered how much i like to read. i have a whole stack of books in the "to read" pile, so i have plenty of material to keep to my goal.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 10.01.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Sunday, September 30, 2001

  growing up rich

  i slept too much last night. i'm still tired.

  i had a fight with nick last night. {sigh} i hate fighting with people. it makes me feel like a horrible person. our arguments always have the same undertones. i mention how everyone at work adores him; he mentions my fellowship and academic success. i guess he doesn't realize that i'd give it all up to be as happy-go-lucky as he is.

  we explored the stanford shopping mall today. it was beautiful. i can't comprehend what it must be like to grow up in palo alto. i wonder if the kids here realize how lucky they are. in high school i hung out at southpark, a mall that was trying desperately to kick out no-name shops like little professor books and woolworth's. here, kids can cruise past beautiful fountains in front of tiffany's. i wonder what kind of salary i'd have to make to live comfortably in this area. turns out the government pay scale here is only a few hundredths of a percentage more than the scale in houston. i could work for nasa out here, and make the same amount of money but live in a much more expensive area. that doesn't seem to make much sense.

  emily (my new friend from utah--no, she's not mormon) is raving about the sopranos, which is on tv tonight. i've never seen it, but i suppose i'll head over and watch it with her.

  File under: Diaryland Import

  ¶ 09.30.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

  

  Saturday, September 29, 2001

  i miss football!

  carter sent me an email this morning saying he was going to the game this afternoon...and i'm sure alex and iffy are there too. i wish i could go. that's the thing i miss most about fall at georgia tech...football season. i just can't get into the stanford team, not while i love my yellow jackets. so we're playing clemson at the moment, and losing 7-6. agh! godsey just threw an interception. we better get our butts in gear.

  you know, i suppose i should stop referring to tech as "we," since i don't go there anymore. hmm. i think that's one change that will take a long time.

  (5:07 p.m.)

  aaaagh! i can't believe we lost that game! and in overtime! i am so disappointed. we should have been on top of the acc right now, cruising along... now i guess the florida state game--and the fact that it had to be rescheduled for december--becomes crucial. the fsu/clemson game will also be an important one to watch...i hope the elder bowden wins out over the son.

  anyway. football aside, the weekend is going well. last night nick and i headed over to a big grad student party in rains (another apartment complex). it was a lot of fun, and i met so many interesting people. i talked to this guy named neal that i met at dinner the other night, and i'm going to have to track him down again because he was fun to talk to. a side note that i know will be of interest to becca and karen is that he is here on a hertz fellowship. yep, that's right, the one that we all applied for...and subsequently got rejected for. none of us even got interviews. the fact that i didn't get it is no sweat off my back, but i am interested to find out what's so different or unique about this guy that won him this extremely selective (read: no one knows what the hell the criteria for selection is) fellowship.

  i also got to talk to christina yesterday! :) i was very happy to finally hear her voice, after days of meaning to call her and then realizing it was either too late at night, or having my phone conk out on me. (they seriously need to put in a few more connections here...i am constantly getting that annoying "system busy" message.) anyway, we had fun conversation, and i can't wait until she and chris come to visit in the spring sometime.

  there is another party tonight in nick's dorm, so until then i'm just hanging around my apartment cleaning and unpacking the final round of boxes from home that arrived yesterday. we ran some errands this afternoon, and discovered many exciting things in the palo alto area, including:

  1. the most bizarre electronics superstore i've ever seen, complete with cowboy/western motif
  2. a really good pizza place, where i cursed at the tv until the ucla/oregon state game finally ended and they switched the feed to overtime at the tech game, and then cursed some more when we lost
  3. a fantastic car wash that left nick's mustang in true california condition--top down and sparkling
  4. a grocery store that sells hard liquor (apparently it's legal in california), so now we can make daquiris tonight

     so yeah, i guess i can say that life in california continues to go well. seeing atlanta on tv for those few minutes was nice though. hee.

     File under: Diaryland Import
     ¶ 09.29.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Thursday, September 27, 2001

     this unexpected turn leaves me reeling

     for the first time, i am seeing the overprotective older sister appear as i worry about katie. this whole thing just makes me doubt. i've decided that maybe it's not odd for me to be so scrutinizing. honesty is usually the best policy, so i was honest and said i'm worried. i am wearing my dad's squinty eyed "hmmmm" face.

     my diary entries from here have become boring. life is good these days, but simultaneously weird. it still feels temporary, like i'm going to be moving again soon. i haven't gotten used to the fact that i actually attend school here now. i miss my friends, even as i meet more new people each day. i just miss them, not so much of a pain anymore, but a persistent dull ache. i miss my friends. and last night's new turn of events has made the feeling more pronounced.

     anyway. today was nice...beautiful weather yet again, and i met with my advisor and am pumped about it. i was so happy to see that i'd been assigned to dr. cantwell. he tests rockets. ha! that's all i have to say. he tests rockets. that is so cool, and it's exactly what i hoped to do here as a grad student. he said i can work for him in the winter or spring, after i take this first quarter to get settled into the department and stanford.

     as far as my class schedule goes...well, it looks like i will be doing a fair amount of review this fall. i guess it was to be expected; after all, not everyone comes into the program with an undergraduate background in aerospace, so while i'm reviewing, others will be learning the material for the first time. the only class that promises to truly challenge me is the computational fluid dynamics course, since i've never done cfd before. but yes becca, it does sound a lot like junior year at tech. and believe me, i wouldn't touch structures with a twenty-foot pole if i didn't have too, but unfortunately, we are required to take one structures course. so this is it, and then i will be done with that god-awful part of engineering.

     anyway. had my first piano class today and i think it's just about at the right level. we learned major scales, which i know from playing the flute but didn't know how to play "properly" on the piano. plus, the tunes he assigned us for homework are just about at my rudimentary skill level. should be fun.

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     Thursday, September 27, 2001

     and i thought my skills were just a little rusty...

     ok, this is a completely separate entry for today, but i had to go and write it because i was so surprised to learn the following...

     so i went to my second audition for the stanford flute ensemble tonight. (i had to do a second audition because the first one wasn't actually with the woman who runs the ensemble...so tonight was the first night i'd ever met her, and she wanted to hear everyone, hence the "second" audition.) anyway. so i played, and sight read, and afterwards i stayed for a few minutes chatting with the woman who directs the ensemble, karen. it turns out that two of the women who heard me play at my first audition on tuesday are widely-renowned in the flute world. one was alexandra hawley, who it turns out is quite accomplished, having made many recordings and studied under great flutists. the other was alexandra's mother, francis blaisdell, who was the first woman to ever graduate from julliard and one of the first women to play a wind instrument in a symphony orchestra--in the late 1930s; she's played with the new york philharmonic and new york ballet. her name is up there with the top flutists in the world!!

     so i was shocked and amazed to learn this, and so incredibly humbled to think that i played my piddly piece in front of someone so utterly huge in the flute world. since i have never delved into the professional world of flute playing, i was totally and completely unaware of the caliber of teachers the music department here at stanford has. i was just blown away, and so even as karen contined telling me more about the ensemble, i sat there looking at her with my mouth wide open in amazement.

     i am so glad i didn't find out who francis and alexandra were until after my audition!! if i'd known, i don't think my nerves would have let me play a single note.

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     Wednesday, September 26, 2001

     lovely lovely lovely

     I CANNOT GET OVER HOW BEAUTIFUL IT IS HERE!

     yes. so did i mention how nice it is here? classes could be great, or they could be awful, and it would still be wonderful here because of the scenery and the weather. everyone reading this must come visit me. my spring break is march 23-april 1. or you can come anytime. i'll just stay here and host one big california party.

     classes started today. i went to five of them, and should end up taking four of those. plus one more on tuesday/thursday. my mondays and wednesdays will suck, but what can ya do? so, in the case someone might actually be interested, i'm taking: aa210a (compressible flow), aa240a (intro to structures), aa214a (numerical methods in computational fluid dynamics), me200a (linear algebra, basically), and e105 (feedback control systems). from looking at the syllabus for each class, it seems like i'm going to be doing a lot of review this first quarter...i recognized practically every topic from something we did in undergrad classes at tech, except for the cfd class. oh, and then my sixth class is music12b--introductory piano!

     tomorrow night is a meeting for the stanford daily...so i figure i'll go check it out. they don't have a daily entertainment section, but maybe i'll see if i can write some reviews. another option is to apply to be a columnist...to do so, i have to submit two 500-700 word articles as well as 10 column ideas. if you have any suggestions, please let me know! i was thinking of submitting two of my old technique editorials, but i need help with the 10 ideas.

     i have a 2nd audition for the flute ensemble tomorrow, since the women who were listening yesterday aren't the ones who are actually in charge of the group. i have to prepare a solo...yikes! i need to practice! good thing i only have one class tomorrow. i am really nervous. somehow i get the feeling this group is really good, and much more serious than the informal flute choir we had going at tech...

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     Tuesday, September 25, 2001

     still settling in (yes, still)

     i am tired. i've been tired ever since i got here. when i'm in a new situation and find myself not quite sure what to do, i tend to wander aimlessly or sit in my room surfing the web...and staying up late, for no reason. yeah, i've got to quit the whole staying-up-late-for-no-reason thing.

     anyway, i don't know if i'm going to meet my goal of being completely unpacked and settled before classes start tomorrow or not. it'll be down to the wire for sure. sadly, i think i'll probably still have a few things (or maybe a lot) floating around looking for a place in the room when i head out to durand (the aero/astro building) tomorrow.

     nevertheless, today was very productive, despite the fact that my advisor didn't stick to the office hours he had posted, and thus i couldn't meet with him. i had a yummy lunch in tressider (the union), got some questions answered in the aa (aero/astro) department, signed up for piano lessons, auditioned for the flute ensemble, and figured out what classes i should go to tomorrow (since my advisor skipped out before i tracked him down so he could tell me what classes i should take...argh). tonight a group of us are checking out breakers, an "eating club" here. it's like a (cheaper) alternative to the dining hall, where we commit 2 hours each week to cooking or cleaning, and in return we get dinner sunday-friday and a key to access the fully-stocked kitchen for breakfast and lunch. i could probably fend for myself here in my apartment, but i think breakers may be a more social way to go. we'll see.

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     ¶ 09.25.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Sunday, September 23, 2001

     loving california, missing atlanta

     i was sitting here listening to music and checking my email when i had the impulse to read last week's technique. bad idea. oh, how the memories came flooding back! as i find more and more things to like about the san francisco bay area, i am consumed by thoughts of deadline nights long past. {sigh} i guess it will probably be like this for a while.

     tomorrow my academic life at stanford begins with the dreaded "orientation." in truth, i'm rather looking forward to it. meeting the students i'll be spending the next nine months studying with...figuring out what classes i'll be taking and what my schedule will be...finding a professor to do some research for... in the end, i'm just anxious to get back to the ol' going-to-school routine that feels so natural to me. i'm done settling in; i'm ready to get started.

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     ¶ 09.23.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Saturday, September 22, 2001

     a quick icq conversation

     mongo:	so they say california's the place you ought to be... So we loaded up the car, and headed out to Beverly! Hills, that is... Swimmin' Pools and Movie Stars
     Roy:	unfortunately, i'm not anywhere near beverly hills. however, california is very cool, i must admit.
     mongo:	why you gotta rain on my parade? California is a magical land filled with strange unexplored mythical places, like Yosemite, Disneyland, The Golden Gate bridge, Death Valley, and something they call the "beach". I declare that you live near all of these.

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     ¶ 09.22.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Friday, September 21, 2001

     family i didn't know i had

     yesterday i met my aunt laura, formerly known as jane. she lives up in sonoma, in the wine country...my dad hadn't seen her since 1977, and i'd never met her. she looks so much like my grandmother.

     then today we drove across the bay to berkeley to have dinner with my dad's cousin ann and her husband and daughter anna...i guess anna is a second cousin, as close as we could figure, and ann is a first cousin once removed. they were so cool! i definitely want to go visit them again.

     anyway, i'm tired. more later.

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     ¶ 09.21.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Thursday, September 20, 2001

     first transmission from the west coast...

     well...i am in california! i have a room and a bed! and i have internet access! see, that last announcement is a monumental event. i never realized how much i took for granted at georgia tech when it came to having technical things taken care of. there, i could have my computer online in 5 minutes. here, it took almost two days. i know that's not actually very long, but after having practically an iv drip of internet access into my veins at tech, it almost drove me nuts to wait more than an hour here. i was so impatient.

     so i have so much to say about the bay area, and my first impressions of stanford, and especially about the drive out here, but i'm exhausted and must get some sleep. i promise stories (and pictures, once i find a place to get them developed) soon.

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     ¶ 09.20.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Friday, September 14, 2001

     the world will never be the same

     some part of me is still in utter disbelief. i can't stop thinking about it, or writing about it. will the country ever be able to stop reeling from what happened on tuesday? i don't know. perhaps we will be angry forever. and perhaps that is the way it should be.

     my parents remember where they were when john f. kennedy was killed. i remember the moment i saw the challenger explode, sitting in my second grade classroom watching in excitement one minute, and in confusion the next. why was my teacher crying? what had happened to the shuttle?

     and now we have this tragedy. the destruction of the world trade center's twin towers, the damage to the pentagon, the crash in a pennsylvania field. a defining point in history that will change our country forever. and a new generation unfortunately has their moment, the one they will never be able to forget.

     i will remember the morning that i woke up, and how i usually watch the news while i eat my breakfast...but i didn't turn on the tv that day because my roommate was sleeping late and i didn't want to wake him. i'll recall the cd playing in my car, how i listened to john mayer singing instead of the radio, and so i didn't hear them break into regular programming to announce what had happened. i'll still feel how cool the morning was as i walked from my car into my building. i'll think of getting off the elevator and turning the corner, and seeing gavin walking towards me. i'll hear the lump in his throat as he asked me, "have you seen the news?" "no, what's happened?" "two planes crashed into the world trade center." how i didn't even put down my bag and coffee. how i rushed into greg's office only to see flames rising from the pentagon, which had just been hit.

     how will i tell my children and my grandchildren about september 11? when they read their history book and come home to ask: "mom, do you remember when new york and washington were attacked?" or "grandmother, how was it possible for something so terrible to happen?"

     i can say that buildings and businesses everywhere we evacuated, and that i was sent home from work as the center went to threatcon delta. i can show them the email from my aunt, reassuring us that my cousin aaron, who lives in new york, thankfully wasn't in lower manhattan tuesday morning. i can explain how quiet and eerie it was to step outside and not hear a single airplane flying high overheard. i can tell them about the former co-op and acquaintance of mine who had just walked into tower two when the second plane hit, and how he turned and ran.

     i can tell them the stories, and read the old headlines...but how can i ever convey the emotions of that day and those following? the feeling of an entire nation in mourning? there just aren't words to convey the magnitude of the pain, sadness, and outrage.

     this article by miami herald columnist leonard pitts jr. is the best reaction i have read so far, and the one i most closely share. i will show my children that article, and i will show my children these diary entries. i will hope that they never experience what we have.

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     ¶ 09.14.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Thursday, September 13, 2001

     getting back to normal (whatever that is)

     i don't know if we will ever get back to "normal," or back to the way things used to be. it took me much longer than usual to get to work today, as the cars were backed up all down nasa road one while security officers at the gate checked every badge on every person in every car. random vehicles were searched. my building is the home of mission control and the most critical building onsite; the parking lots were emptied as a security precaution. in the lobby, i was stopped by security and my bag was opened and checked. on any day before tuesday, i would have been annoyed at the inconvenience. from now on, i will be grateful for the fact that someone is trying to make my life safer.

     the faa has reopened the skies, but most airlines are keeping themselves grounded. i don't know whether to hope that my dad is able to fly here tomorrow or hope that he isn't allowed to get on an airplane. with all the flights that occur in this country each day, my fear that something will happen on his particular flight seems irrational...nonetheless, it is very real.

     i haven't packed anything yet. my dad would be upset with me if he knew that. yesterday was supposed to be my last day of work, and i was going to pack today and tomorrow. when we unexpectedly had the past two days off, i should have used them to pack. but i didn't. i just watched tv, and read magazines, and spent a lot of time just being with people.

     people keep coming into my office and saying "oh, you're here," which is weird to me. what would they expect? did they think i would leave town without cleaning out my desk? without turning in my paperwork? without giving bini a recap of what i've done, and what she'll be expected to do on the jettison design project? so yes, i'm at work, at least until early afternoon. i've talked to bini, so that's one item down, two to go.

     (10:37 p.m.)

     packing is going very well. usually it stresses me out a lot, but today i've gotten myself into complete throw-away mode, and am tossing stuff into trashbags left and right. i've cut three boxes and maybe one laundry basket out of what i brought down here in my car. i can always buy a new laundry basket in california; it's probably easier than trying to bring the one i have.

     i got a co-op award. after five tours, i'd given up on the idea of ever getting one and resigned myself to the fact that it's not really a matter of the work you do, but of whether you happen to be in a group that's motivated enough to give co-op awards. i guess the sixth time's the charm, though i don't think it's purely coincidence that i got a co-op award for the tour i liked the best. i worked harder this tour than i ever have, and it's because i liked what i was doing and was motivated to get as much done as i could. in any case, i was very flattered and happy to get the award.

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     Wednesday, September 12, 2001

     aftermath

     i didn't really know what would happen when i woke up this morning, hoping against all hope that yesterday was just a bad dream. and it wasn't. it wasn't.

     there are rumors that the center might be closed again tomorrow, that i'll be staying home again. i hope not. eventually, we have to get away from the tv and from those images, and we have to cope with what has happened, and we have to go on with life. the longer this tragedy keeps the country at a crawl, the greater the "victory" become for the terrorists.

     today was supposed to be my last day of work, but monsters kept that from happening. instead, i'm going to try to just carry on. i'm going to go out to lunch. i'm going to pack up my things in preparation for moving to california. i'm going to watch the news a little.

     we've got to keep on keeping on.

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     ¶ 09.12.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Tuesday, September 11, 2001

     words can't describe this

     i don't even know what to say. i don't know how to sit here and even attempt to write about today. i glance through other diaries to find that everyone writes about the same thing. we are unified in our pain and our anger, and in our sorrow.

     i cannot comprehend what's going on in the world right now. i can't imagine new york without the twin towers. i can't fathom what it must be like to be in new york or washington tonight. i can't watch the video of that huge commecial jet plowing into the building without being shocked and angered every time, every replay, every angle.

     we were sent home from work just before 10 this morning, and i'll be at home again tomorrow since the center is only reopening to "essential personnel" and i am not one of those. they'll be checking every car and every person, with metal detectors and dogs. i usually forget the fact that i am an employee of the federal government. that i work on government property in government buildings. it is a shock to be reminded that the country i work for, and the country i love, is so powerfully hated by others.

     i am angry, i am horrified, i am saddened. i am shocked, traumatized, worried, and anguished. i am pissed off, and i am scared. i wonder how something like this can happen. i wonder how four planes can have been hijacked in one morning, how anyone managed to coordinate such a vicious and unimaginable attack. i wonder who could have so much disregard for human life that they'd want to do something like this, to cause such destruction, to harm so many innocent civilians, to conduct what is practically an act of war. to ground every airplane. to force evacuations in every major city. to bring this country to a grinding halt.

     i called my dad, and my mom, and my sister. it's not like they need to know that i'm ok because nothing happened here in houston. i don't know why i felt the need to call them, but i did.

     and now i sit and watch and listen and breathe along with an entire nation. i pray for the people who were injured, and killed, and those who knew them. and along with the rest of the world, i grieve.

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     ¶ 09.11.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Monday, September 10, 2001

     fall is my favorite season

     i was going to comment on how fall may have finally arrived in houston and how, after raining all day yesterday, it is actually cool and pleasant outside this morning. then i read becca's diary and saw that in switzerland, she's already having to deal with temperatures that my southern butt considers "winter."

     anyway. switzerland aside, it really is nice and cool here this morning. and i finally realized the reason for all the rain--it's just that it's september in houston. it always rains in september in houston. i haven't been here during the fall since my very first co-op tour in 1997, and i'd just forgotten. ron reminded me. {sigh} rain. in any case, i can't wait to get to palo alto, where the weather has been a constant 75 degrees all summer. i was talking to nicole, a co-op from stanford, and she says in the winter it gets down in the upper 40s, but rarely any colder. maybe i'll just stay in the san francisco area forever...it sounds like the weather there is just the way i like it.

     so my sister made a surprise stop at home yesterday, on her way back from the gt game in annapolis. my mom told me about it over the phone, and it made me laugh. my dad said he was very confused when he looked out the window and saw randy mcdow. that made me laugh even harder. randy mcdow! at my house! come on, that is just funny. mom was so happy to hear that the feighs had all been at the game, and brought food for the visiting ps kids. i, on the other hand, just thought "typical feigh" and smiled. i wish i could've been at the game.

     with my exit pitch done, i'm not really sure what i'm going to do at work for the next three days. i could continue my project, but i wouldn't really be able to make any headway in three days, and by trying, i might actually make the transition of the project much worse for bini, the new co-op in my group. so i'll sit and pass time emailing and cleaning up my desk. actually, i probably should write up some sort of document about what i did this summer, and summarize the changes to the postprocessor code... yeah, i guess i could do that. off i go.

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     Sunday, September 09, 2001

     running to the vmas

     so curt decided last night that i'm the one. too bad i'm leaving this weekend.

     it's raining again. i wanted to run outside, but it's that kind of rain that's not a downpour, but more than a drizzle, and leaves lot of puddles. so even though i love running in the rain, i figured i wouldn't have been able to run without coming home with soaked shoes. so i went on the treadmill instead, and watched mtv replay the video music awards for the umpteenth time.

     my mentor rich is in chicago this weekend, and went to the cubs-braves game today. unfortunately for him, but happily for me, the braves won and completed the 3-game sweep. i don't know if rich stayed through the rain delay or not...the weather there looked about as dismal as here. it's sort of a shame in a way. he's a huge cubs fan, but had never been to wrigley field. i kinda wish it could have been a better day, and a better game, for him. ah well. you can't win them all.

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     ¶ 09.09.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Saturday, September 08, 2001

     a not-so-brief musical interlude

     listening to: counting crows, "mr. jones"

     for the first time in a while, i've spent the afternoon simply hanging out in my room and rediscovering the joys of my mp3 collection. "...and i might just stay inside today..." doing laundry. making lunch. watching tv. reading (lord of the rings, 2nd book). cleaning my room, or beginning to pack, depending on how you want to look at it.

     listening to: bif naked, "lucky"

     so tech won big today. bigger than big...they won enormously. humungously. they handed navy their worst defeat ever, 70-7. everything pales in comparison to next week though, when we play florida state. they're saying this is our year. they're saying fsu is beatable. they're saying we're the team to do it. the game's nationally televised, but i'll be stuck in a car somewhere between houston and albequerque--talk about frustration! i hope i can pick it up on the radio.

     listening to: eve6, "how much longer"

     today is co-op initiation for the new guys. we made them meet us at 8:00 this morning and gave them the packet of clues for the traditional scavenger hunt. after we watched them leave, phil and i picked up ron and joined emily and whitley and molly for some donuts at krispy kreme. mmm. then i came home and went back to sleep! anyway, it's always a fun time for new guys, i think. you learn your way around houston, and you get to know your group well. one of the clues this time was to come to our apartment and get a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a reference to our co-op lunch voting a few weeks ago, so we even had some people stop by. it was fun to listen to how their day is going.

     listening to: lifehouse, "sick cycle carousel"

     i can hardly believe i have only one week left in houston. for a summer that started so quietly, it has passed quickly. i don't know where this one ranks with co-op tours past; i have enjoyed work much more, but my social life has been...well, just quieter. not bad, just less busy. i've been talking so much lately about wanting to settle down somewhere, and in some senses, my summer has been like that--i've gotten into a comfortable routine, and spend time with some fun people. more importantly, i set aside time for myself. i had forgotten how much i like to read. i discovered the getting semi-regular exercise makes me feel a lot better about myself, and a lot less tired physically. i found out how much more satisfied i am with life in general when i like what i do at work. it's been good.

     listening to: tool, "schism"

     i love my roommates. they are great at boosting my ego. ;) the other night, we were sitting around watching sportscenter and phil was talking about the tool concert that they bought tickets for today. so i said "oh, tool, they do that song that goes like this, right?" and i proceeded to sing part of "schism." a few minutes later, they had moved on to talking about disturbed, and i interjected a line of "down with the sickness." at that point, phil turned to ron and said "dude, she is the coolest woman alive." {happy sigh} here's a picture of me and philly on roommate bonding night. we played risk and did shots of vodka.

     

     listening to: matchbox twenty, "angry"

     the matchbox twenty concert is tonight. i sort of wanted to go, but when i asked around a month or so ago, i couldn't find anyone to go with me. in the end, it turned out ok because it's also initiation day like i mentioned earlier, and there's the party afterwards. i may go down to bolivar with that group for the beach bonfire...or i may go to bar houston with curt. i'm leaning towards the bar. i want to spend time with curt, and i haven't gotten my groove on in a while anyway. ;)

     listening to: doria roberts, "perfect"

     ah, i like this song. i can never listen to it without thinking of christina. i haven't talked to her since last weekend, so i actually need to call her sometime soon and see how she's doing. this weekend, she and jenny were hoping to make a trip up to chattanooga and go to the aquarium and see how they can manage away from the hospital. and tomorrow's the 9th, so she be moving from inpatient to outpatient, which i think is very exciting. i wish i could go back to atlanta again this weekend and see her.

     listening to: dixie chicks, "let 'er rip"

     ah, now the dixie chicks. that was a fun concert, when i went a year ago with alisa. we yelled and screamed and sang along and danced in the aisles. i left feeling crazy and energetic and talkative, and if i remember correctly, somehow that night i ended up with carter at waffle house spewing my thoughts on anything and everything. in retrospect, he probably thought i was being really strange, but what i remember most about that night is how good i felt.

     listening to: james taylor, "mexico"

     anyway. i'm gonna get back to cleaning/packing/chilling with my roomies.

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     ¶ 09.08.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Friday, September 07, 2001

     are you ready for some football?

     the other day karen asked what it's like to deal with constant rain. fortunately, i don't have to answer this question because the rain finally stopped, or at least slowed. yesterday we had the normal late afternoon thundershower, and then it was back to normal. sunny and humid. i don't know which is better--rain or shine. rain makes it cooler outside, but wet (duh). shine makes it hot and sticky.

     maybe i'll just move to san francisco. yeah, that's it.

     anyway. daniel sent me some pictures of us at the football game last weekend. my sister and me, kevin, alex (a.k.a. "that guy"), jelly, chris...you can see them all. these photos make me smile; i love having friends on photography staff who can waste a couple frames on us.

     

     

     (10:26 a.m.)

     my officemate is amusing. his name is gil, and he's probably in his 60s, and i think he's become obsessed with ebay. i hear him on the phone every day talking to someone about what he found on ebay, and whether there's a reserve price or not, and how much time is left in the bidding. whenever i hear anyone mention ebay, i always think of alex and the crazy things he used to buy off there (actually, he probably still does). anyway, he got these two t-shirts one time that had the front page of some tabloid on them. one shirt said "bat child escapes!" and had this scary picture of a cross between a kid and a bat. the other had pictures of various congressmen along with the headline "aliens in the senate!" or something like that. i think there's probably nothing that you can't find on ebay if you look hard enough.

     (4:19 p.m.)

     ahhh. my exit pitch is over, and it went really well. this is the first tour i ever really liked my group, and the first tour i ever really liked my project. it's been a good summer.

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     ¶ 09.07.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Thursday, September 06, 2001

     working hard, working late

     listening to: eve 6, "rescue"

     so the diaryland server was down earlier, and i couldn't update as usual. even worse was the fact that i couldn't get my morning fix of becca and karen's diaries. ah, the horror! ;)

     on tuesday night i finally saw the episode of frasier that courtney, kent, carter, carissa, tyler and i saw being taped in los angeles back in march. we were sitting around debbie's apartment when someone remarked that this must be a new frasier episode, but i said, "it can't be, because i've seen it before." that's when i realized where i'd seen it. the episode originally aired in may, but we missed it because we were in europe. anyway, it was neat. i listened for our laughs, but the laugh track was pretty indistinctive. oh well.

     it's after 6:00 and i'm still at work. my exit pitch is tomorrow, and i'm still adding data and graphs to it. i've never come so down to the wire, but then again, i've never had such a cool project that i wanted to finish so badly.

     nick brought me a whole bag of reese's peanut butter cups. this is bad. they are staring at me, silently screaming "eat me!!!" argh. last night i went running again, and actually enjoyed myself. normally i don't like running at all--every moment is agony, and the only reason i do it is because of the adrenaline rush and sense of triumph i get when i'm done. but last night was ok, and so i'll try to go again tonight. i want to be able to get on some kind of schedule, like james in his consultant-ish and ordered life. it'd be nice.

     anyway. i have a few more things to finish on my exit pitch, then i'm going home. good night.

     File under: Diaryland Import
     ¶ 09.06.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Wednesday, September 05, 2001

     does this mean we're adults now?

     last night we had dinner at debbie's house. nick, debbie, brienne, mark, and myself. she moved in not too long ago, and her place looks just fantastic--curtains, a full set of furniture, pictures hanging on the walls, kitchen stocked with utensils and hardware...she's even got a massage chair. we cooked. some kind of pasta casserole, and crescent rolls. brienne brought fresh-baked brownies for dessert. we ate, we laughed, we talked about work. as we cleaned up, nick laughed and said "does this mean we're adults? the fact that we're starting to invite each other over for dinner?" it was a good question.

     since graduating, most days i am tempted to give school only one more year of my life. get this master's degree, and then find something permanent. something that would allow me to get an apartment, or a house, and come home to its comfortable walls day after day. make new friends, and real friends. friends that i know i won't have to leave unless i make the conscious choice to do so. it's not that the friends i will always have in atlanta aren't real; they are my life, and have made me who i am. instead, it's just that i don't want to go through the extraordinary pain of saying goodbye to them or people like them ever again. i long for the stability of normal, post-college life. yet every muscle is straining to get back to school.

     "we're not adults. we're just not in college anymore," i said as nick dropped me off back at home at the end of the evening.

     no big differences these days, just the same old walkaways...

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     ¶ 09.05.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Tuesday, September 04, 2001

     i want to thank you

     listening to: dido, "thank you"

     "it's not usually my style to send emails like this to more than one person at a time, but today i am making an exception. i write about beingsad and depressed much more effectively than i do about being happy and grateful, so i apologize in advance if you find this too sappy, even though i'm trying not to make it so.

     "anyway, here are the top 3 (yes, only 3) things i realized this weekend:

     1. it is good that i decided not to stay at tech for graduate school. though i've only been gone for 4 months, it felt a little weird to walk around campus. i was rather surprised to find that i felt like i don't really belong there anymore, not as a student. also, this morning i tried to login to acme, and found that my gt account has been deleted. that's a good sign that i'm not expected on the doorstep of 225 north avenue anymore.
     2. on the other hand, life outside of gt grad school would have been great if i'd stayed in atlanta, because i would get to see all of you more often. it was really wonderful to see everyone, and i've never felt as popular as i did over the past four days when you all kept calling to see what i was up to. i wish i could have made the days even longer, and i'm sorry i couldn't spend more time with each of you. special thanks to those of you who drove me around town, and let me crash on your floors and couches.
     3. in the end, the fact that i'm crossing the country to go to grad school doesn't matter, because i know that each time i come back to atlanta, at least some of you will be there. and after this weekend, i now know that you guys make it incredibly easy to pick up right where we left off.

     "trying to put a 'personal touch' on an email being sent to 14 people is a difficult task, and i probably haven't accomplished it here. in any case, i just wanted to let everyone know what a great weekend i had, and how much fun it was to spend time with each of you.

     "i'll keep in touch from the west coast...and visitors are always welcome. ;)

     -sarah"

     (2:30 p.m.)

     oh my lord, it is raining again. at lunch, i saw the sun and it brightened my spirits, only to have them dashed again when i glanced out the window a moment ago. when will it stop raining?

     i'm playing the waiting game again today. waiting for my sims to run. waiting on the computer. in a half hour or so, i'll be done with wording my exit pitch and making most of the slides...and then i'll just be waiting, waiting for my runs to finish so i can include the data in my pitch. dry run tomorrow. final presentation on friday. three days next week to document everything i've done so that the other co-op knows where to pick up and what to do.

     nick just brought me reese's cups and said he missed me over the weekend. we see each other only in passing during the day, but when one of us is missing, the day feels a little emptier.

     i told him i'm ready to go to california. karen wrote something in her journal the other day about how she was ready to "retreat to the safety of academia." i feel it too. i'm ready to get back to class. i'm very nervous that i won't be able to keep up, but nevertheless, every bone in my body is yearning to break free of this boring beige desk and these drab halls and get back to school. life feels more normal to me when all the days are something different.

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     ¶ 09.04.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Thursday, August 30, 2001

     passing thoughts before i head "home"

     agggggh! it is still raining! make it stop! (note to self: don't ever move to seattle.) phil is hoping it keeps raining until our carpet floods again like it did with tropical storm allison in june, and we get more free rent.

     this trip to atlanta is maybe the least-planned thing i've done in a while. ;) oh, i have a general idea of what i'm doing, but for the most part i've just been saying "we'll figure it out when i get there." i suppose i should find out exactly what time my flight is today....ah, 10:15. so i'll leave work in a half hour. my roommates thought i was crazy for coming in at all, i mean, i could've slept late instead of going in even earlier than i normally do (i'm usually not here till 8:30)! but i had to come in and check on my sim runs. yes, i am a big dork. anyway, in the 15 hours since i began them last night when i went home, 78 of my 114 runs finished. the others are running well, and will finish maybe by this afternoon. i'll of course be gone, but the lovely data will be waiting for me when i get back on tuesday. yay! i will have numbers to present in my exit pitch!

     i walked in with nick this morning. it's been raining for 4 days straight, and the guy still hasn't bought an umbrella, so he was lucky he found arrived at the same time i did. i feel like i haven't seen him in ages, yet he works right down the hall. i guess we've both been busy. we're both trying to finish up our projects at work, and he's been helping debbie get settled in her new apartment, and i've been going out of town. anyway. i need to spend some time with that boy before we head to california.

     ah, what a day, what a weekend. i'm off to plug my data into excel, then to the airport!

     (10:16 p.m.)

     i didn't know how good it would feel as i walked down the street from the marta station to the 'nique office this afternoon, on my way to meet my sister and my friends. it was fantastic. i'm not trying to be too cheesy, but tech really does have one of those cliched "special places" in my heart. though i'm slowly coming to terms with the fact my life is changing and that my undergraduate years are over, i will always, always miss this place.

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     ¶ 08.30.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Wednesday, August 29, 2001

     who'da thunk i'd wanna be a journalist

     so i read both becca and karen's diaries this morning, and both had more references to the good ol' technique that i reminisced about yesterday. after reading what they wrote, i could write a whole entry covering more of the silly things i miss about the paper. everything from skipping aeroelasticity on thursday mornings (die, aeroelasticity, die!) to the covert "to hell with georgia" assault on the uga campus. unlike becca, it wasn't the writing that got me going. i was just the opposite. it was the layout and copy editing that made me happy. making it look pretty, making it sound pretty.

     anyway, i could carry on in this vein for pages. instead, i'll just say that out of everything i got involved in during my five years at georgia tech, the technique was my favorite. by far. hands down.

     listening to: counting crows, "have you seen me lately"

     i love this song! at the concert last friday, i asked leila what her favorite counting crows song was, and we began to list songs until finally we both decided that we can't pick one favorite. depending on my mood, i choose a different song. "anna begins," or "raining in baltimore," or "walkaways," or "love and addiction." but "have you seen me lately" probably pops up most frequently. sometimes the electric version, sometimes the acoustic.

     it's raining outside, again. i'm glad to be getting out of town this weekend, and hopefully away from some the wetness. (pause to check the weather for atlanta) hmm, looks like it may rain there too. oh well.

     and now for my dorky moment of the day: gavin and i got the postprocesser code working this morning! it interpolates! it interpolates and gives the correct answer! wahoo!

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     ¶ 08.29.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Tuesday, August 28, 2001

     happy cloudy mornings

     every once in a while i am surprised to find out that someone reads this page that i'd never expect. (hello dr. green!)

     so on my way in this morning, i passed a big truck that said "jake's fresh foods" on the side. my thought process from that moment on should be obvious. jake's = ice cream = a place i like to hang out = atlanta = this weekend! yay! i will be in atlanta this weekend, and i will go to jake's and get some chocolate slap yo mama ice cream. jake's has the best ice cream in the world, even better than amy's. (shh, don't tell anyone in houston i said that, they'll think i'm a traitor.)

     anyway. chris emailed me this morning with something that just made my entire day. now it doesn't matter that it's raining cats and dogs outside for the second day in a row, because i'm happy.

     while waiting on my sims, i have been reading the freshman issue of the technique. it's the first "real" issue in almost two years that i haven't been involved in. {sigh} i miss da 'nique. i miss deadline nights, staying up until the wee hours of the morning, taking breaks to get coffee, making slow laps around the student services building with christina when i had to get away from the computer, chris holing up in his office. i miss the free cds and movie passes, even from the bands i've never heard of and the ones that should never have been allowed to cut a record in the first place, and i miss theme deadlines, singing along with mixed cds, alan being pissy, alan trying to remain pissy even when i can tell he wants to smile. i miss fighting with pagemaker, dancing in the office, lying on the couches, macs, hugs from daniel, my ever-overflowing desk. ah, they were good times. good times.

     yeah, i'm ready to move on. i'm reaching the end of another houston summer, and every bone in my body is telling me it's time to go back to school. is it possible to be both excited and nervous at the same time? i think so. i feel both ways about going to stanford. i don't think it rains as much there. yes, it's still raining here. they've issued a flood warning. i hope i don't get washed away. ;)

     (4:56 p.m.)

     i just wanted to say that i love my group. they are by far the coolest people i have ever worked with here. i didn't accept the job offer last fall because i wanted to go to grad school, but also because i couldn't see myself fitting in with any of the groups i'd worked with before. but this summer is different. instead of being "the co-op," i'm treated like a real team member. i can see myself becoming a part of this group. i can see myself working here.

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     ¶ 08.28.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Monday, August 27, 2001

     football and friends

     listening to: eve 6, "open road song"

     i love this song. it reminds me of living in harris.

     it's looking ominous outside this morning. big dark clouds, and windy. thunder too. it's very odd, because we rarely get rain in the mornings...it's much, much more of a late afternoon, sub-tropical thing. oh well. i managed to make it in from the parking lot without getting wet, so all is well.

     i had a very relaxing weekend in austin with leila and brian. yesterday we watched the tech game, which was televised all the way over here in texas. (yay!) the team played like crap, but at least we won. cnnsi probably said it simplest and best: "it's a start: no. 10 georgia tech unimpressive in opener, but wins." oh, i get so nervous watching them play...i had to distract myself with leila's puzzle book yesterday to avoid too much yelling at the tv. everybody's saying this is tech's year. the new york post ranked us number one yesterday. wow.

     leila and brian are so funny. most of the time i don't remember that they're married; they just seem like really good friends. they tease and pick at each other, but never really get mad. they make each other laugh, which i love to see, especially when it's brian laughing, because half the time he's so serious. but that's what it's supposed to be like, right? to be married to someone who is also your best friend.

     and here it is, monday morning again. considering that i'm taking off thursday and friday to go to atlanta, and monday is a paid holiday, i have only 10 days of work left--three days this week, four next, three the week after that. then two days to pack, and i'm on the road again. except this time i'll be heading west. somehow, the summer managed to fly by even though i haven't really done anything but sit on the couch watching baseball. (of course that's not entirely true, but it kind of feels true.) it's been quiet. even more, it's been good.

     File under: Diaryland Import
     ¶ 08.27.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Saturday, August 25, 2001

     hangin' with the homies in austin

     here i am in leila and brian's apartment in austin. if you know leila and brian (and me, for that matter), it won't be a surprise to you that i'm updating my diary even while visiting friends. they're the king and queen of computers, or something like that. ;)

     i called kent this afternoon to wish him a happy 21st birthday. i wonder what they are all doing for his birthday tonight. ah, sometimes i miss atlanta. when i called, he and carter were visiting christina! i'm so jealous that everyone else gets to see her all the time now that she's moved to atlanta. i can't wait to see her later this week! if only i had a car when i go to visit! i don't know how i'm going to get anywhere without being a nuisance to my friends.

     anyway, it's been a fun weekend. leila and i headed half an hour down the road to san marcos last night to see the counting crows at southwest texas state university. i believe they use the word "university" rather loosely; i don't know if i've ever seen more girls with less clothing than i saw last night. the audience was really disappointing--it was like when ben folds five came to georgia tech, and everyone went just because it was the thing to do that night, not because they were really big fans of the band. there weren't many big counting crows fans there...just a bunch of college students with nothing else to do. but the show was great, and they played some songs from the new album they're working on, and adam rambled about a film fest going on this week in austin. i love how adam really talks to the audience, telling stories and commenting on life in general. it's much more entertaining than just saying "hey" like most bands do.

     in related austin news, brian and i are being way more than civil. (ha, kent!) actually, brian and i get along just fine, we just like to whine and pick at each other. i like him.

     and i've decided that i can definitely see why so many people love austin. it doesn't quite feel like i'm in texas anymore! there are hills, for one thing, and it doesn't seem as hot as it is down by the gulf. it was gorgeous outside today--blue sky, big puffy white clouds, green trees--and the entire city just feels calmer and cleaner than houston.

     we went to this great restaurant called the salt lick for lunch. mmmm, good texas bbq. it's literally in the middle of nowhere; leila described the way to get there as "you drive until you truly think you must have passed it, until every muscle in your body is telling you to turn the car around...then it's right around the corner." we ordered family style dinner, which means they just keep bringing food until you can't fit anything else in your stomach. it was our one meal for the day, and it was sooooo good.

     we then saw "jay and silent bob strike back" at the theater...it was ok. funny, but definitely just one huge inside joke. if you haven't seen any of the other kevin smith movies, i wouldn't recommend it. the list of famous people in the cast is impressive at least; i could have done without all the fart jokes but hey, that's to be expected. anyway. ok movie.

     well. i'm gonna go grab something to drink and hang out some more. tomorrow's the first football game of the year...and they're showing it on tv even in texas!

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     ¶ 08.25.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Friday, August 24, 2001

     just the facts, ma'am

     listening to: eve 6, "how much longer"

     so i'm on a bit of an eve 6 kick right now. anyway. i've decided that i want to go take a ride in a hot air balloon sometime. this weekend is the ballunar festival in conjunction with the jsc open house, and this morning as i drove to work, there were dozens of hot air balloons floating around clear lake. it was beautiful.

     i finally replied to shun's email yesterday, and he responded in minutes saying, among other things, that all the rocket and space stuff on this webpage sounds a bit nerdy. hmph! i know he's just kidding--after all, he's spent time working down here too--but his comment makes the following paragraphs necessary for those of you who may not actually know me:

     at the moment, i live in houston and i work for nasa. when i mention someplace called "jsc," i'm talking about the johnson space center--home to mission control and all the astronauts. i am a co-op, which means i'm not quite a full-time employee, but i'm more than an intern. basically, i alternate periods of school with periods of work. this is my 6th work tour, and i work in the descent analysis division doing trajectory analysis for the x-38. i love my project this summer, but hate sitting in front of a computer all day (which, unfortunately, is a necessity, because trajectory calculations can't really be done by hand...it'd take ages). fortunately, the people i work with are really cool, and make my computer-filled days much more than bearable.

     last may, i finished my bachelor's degree in aerospace engineering at georgia tech. in a month, i will be starting graduate school at stanford and by next june i should have a master's degree in aerospace engineering. i've been told many times that space is my passion, and though i'm slow to agree with that diagnosis (mainly because "passion" seems like such a strong word), it's probably accurate. i can't really explain why i love space, except to say that the fact that we can leave the planet and survive in a completely alien environment is utterly and completely fascinating. in any case, my interest in space is definitely a big part of who i am, and what i'll be doing with my life in the near future.

     of course i like to think there's more to me than school and work...i love movies, and reading (when i have time), and writing, and spending time with cool people. as far as "real" interests go, there are probably three notable things to mention. first is the fact that i was an editor on the newspaper at georgia tech (entertainment section), and really enjoyed the part of my job where i got to basically design what my section looked like each week, and choose what kind of content was printed. second is that i also like making webpages and seeing what kind of interesting (but not overly flashy or complicated) layouts i can invent. and finally, i also like photography, though i'm not too great at it because i haven't been doing it for long.

     i get a lot of personal satisfaction from doing those types of graphic design/layout/visual/creative stuff. i've been told that i'm good at it...which is probably just to boost my ego, in which case it worked. but i like to think it's true, and that i really do have at least some artistic talent despite my engineering-oriented brain. someday, i'd love to have the opportunity to turn web design or print layout/editing into a serious interest. we'll see.

     anyway. so that's a bit of background.

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     ¶ 08.24.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Thursday, August 23, 2001

     empty nights, full days

     listening to: nsync, "pop"

     ron is in college station for the rest of the week, and it's weird to have just phil and me in the apartment. after only two weeks, i've already gotten used to having two roommates instead of one, and i actually like it better than before. ah well. ron will be back on saturday.

     today is a coop scoop day, which means i haven't gotten any real work done all morning because i've been doing the coop scoop. i love making it, but i hate the way it eats into my work time, especially since i have so much to do in my last few weeks. thankfully this will probably be the last issue i do...i've already talked one of the new co-ops into taking it over.

     i've been tweaking the layout for this page. just little things, to the layout of the text itself, and not the overall design, because soon (i swear it really will be soon) i'll be redesigning my webpage, and placing this page within the new design. then...yeah, it'll just be cool again.

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     ¶ 08.23.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Wednesday, August 22, 2001

     my friends rock even when we're far apart

     listening to: eve 6, "on the roof again"

     argh. the diaryland server crashed earlier, and i lost the entry i wrote this morning. so now i'm trying to remember what i wrote earlier.

     sometimes things have a way of just working themselves out. yesterday as i left work, i was feeling sort of sad. classes started at tech on monday, and it felt really weird to not be there. of the friends i spent time with last year, i can only think of two (in addition to myself) who left atlanta--my roommates becca and karen. everyone else either took a job in the city, or is still in school. even anit, at medical school in augusta, can go back home for the weekend. it made me sad to think that i'm not there with them, and that they are having all sorts of fun without me.

     then a flurry of phone calls reminded me that even though i'm not in atlanta or even on the east coast, they're still all thinking about me. my dad called as i walked in the door, just to say hi. about an hour later, christina called with the fantastic news that she was able to walk (with help) this week, faster than even the doctors expected her to! i was still smiling from our conversation a half hour later when chris called to say hi and to make some plans for next weekend, when i take advantage of my labor day paid holiday to fly back to georgia for a few days. then i continued the streak by calling my mom, and finally by calling kent to make sure he'd be in town while i am, and not off somewhere working.

     when all was said and done, i wasn't sad anymore. and that was a great thing.

     (4:24 p.m.)

     my entire group just marched outside and stood on the lawn between the duck ponds as the shuttle passed overhead. dozens of people dotted the pond area, watching and waiting and listening. it was such a nice feeling to be standing among people as enthusiastic about space as me. if i'd been anywhere else in the world, i would've been standing outside straining my ears and looking stupid.

     it was too bright outside to see the plasma trail (even though some people convinced themselves that a slow-moving weather ballon was the shuttle...nevermind that they were looking north, and the shuttle was passing to the south...hmm...go figure), but about 4 minutes after the orbiter passed overhead, the sonic boom finally reached the ground. i'd never heard a sonic boom before, and thought it was really cool. and talk about fast! by the time we heard the boom, the shuttle was already crossing the florida peninsula.

     File under: Diaryland Import
     ¶ 08.22.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Tuesday, August 21, 2001

     they're all babies!

     listening to: michelle branch, everywhere

     and now we add karen's marshall chronicles to the diary list. yikes, diaryland is contagious! actually, it makes me happy to finally be able to read someone else's thoughts and stuff, after years of being the only one of my friends with an online journal.

     so the new fall co-ops started work yesterday, all 35 of them. thirty five!!! that is a huge number of new guys; when i started co-oping back in the olden days, i started with 15-18 others. hmm. i know it was less than 20. and geez, these new guys are all so young! when i said i'd started co-oping in 1997, and started college in 1996, one of them laughed and said "i was a freshman in high school in 1996!" argh. they are really young.

     sadly, i don't feel as much connection with the co-ops as i used to. most of my co-op friends have graduated and come back full-time, or gone somewhere else entirely. most of the co-ops now have unfamiliar faces, and it's harder to get to know them. they look at me as the elder grad student; i look at them as the naive underclassmen. it helps to remember that i was once a bright-eyed new co-op...but it's still weird. you wouldn't think four years would make that much of a difference.

     last night phil and i ended up "in charge" of the first night activities, and as we drove home, we kind of looked at each other and phil said he felt like a camp counselor. exactly! we had gone to dinner, then putt-putt, then ice cream, and it felt like we had to coax the new kids into going each time. "ok, who wants to go play putt-putt? ok, now who wants to go get ice cream? yay! let's go!" the need for the hand-holding will disappear as they learn their way around, and see what there is to do in the area, but it was still weird. i think phil and i have already fallen into the rolls of father and mother co-op.

     File under: Diaryland Import
     ¶ 08.21.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Monday, August 20, 2001

     beer and college...what a pair

     ron read somewhere that the state of texas accounts for a third of the beer consumption in the country. i don't doubt it. this morning as i was walking from my apartment to my car to go to work, i passed two guys in t-shirts with the sleeves torn off walking around the complex, each with a bud light firmly clenched in their hand. this was at 7:50 a.m. yeah. i laughed. texas continually amuses me.

     and then i got to work and found out from becca about this article about college rankings and their accuracy (or lack therof) is right on target. here are only some of the good quotes:

     • "it would embarrass many colleges and universities to admit just what happens on campus and how little attention they pay to students."
     • "graduate programs have long produced individuals expert in their discipline but awkward in the classroom."
     • "promotion and tenure procedures on most campuses provide slim rewards for good teaching; professors are often released from teaching in order to focus on research, but it almost never works the other way around."
     • "the highly influential u.s. news & world report annual guide to "america's best colleges" pays scant attention to measures of learning or good educational practices."
     • "the rankings...[tabulate] things such as percent of faculty with a doctorate (to measure the quality of the professors) and sat scores of the freshman class (to get at quality of the students). that's like measuring the quality of a restaurant by calculating how much it paid for silverware and food: not completely useless, but pretty far from ideal."
     • "u.s. news originally set out to create a seemingly scientific rankings system that would place well-known universities---particularly harvard, yale, and princeton---on top. those are the most common places where magazine editors earned their degrees, and the public expects to see them on top."
     • "u.s. news only includes one vastly less reliable measure of [student] satisfaction---the percentage of alumni who donate---which depends in large part on alumni wealth and how many pesky sophomores man phone banks in exchange for pizza and t-shirts."
     • "there's something contradictory in a magazine making a mint off of a ranking system called "america's best colleges" that virtually ignores educational quality."
     • "students at schools with strong research orientations display decreased satisfaction with faculty and the overall quality of instruction, decreased leadership skills, and decreased self-reported growth in public speaking skills and other measures of student development."

     both of my schools--georgia tech and stanford--take immense pride in their research; i know that georgia tech suffers a decreased emphasis on students, and i won't be surprised if i get to stanford and find that attitude as well. i think it's inexcusable that students don't get the attention they deserve, and that we sit through classes with professors who don't know how to teach. a university couldn't exist without its students, yet many of those institutions seem to have taken the opinion that students exist only to rake in their tuition money.

     that's one of the reasons i'd like to be a professor someday. i want to focus on students, and be a good teacher. i know i'll have to do research too, but what really excites me is the opportunity to interact with college kids. having just finished five years as an undergraduate, i realize that people like dr. seitzman and dr. kamat influenced my life in many ways. they were great teachers, and in addition to that, they were great mentors. i went to them for advice about classes, and about my grad school decision. they were more than my professors; they were my friends. they taught me things both in and out of the classroom. i think all students should have the opportunity for that kind of interaction. plus, i think it'd be cool to affect someone else's life like a few of my professors influenced mine.

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     ¶ 08.20.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Saturday, August 18, 2001

     saturday baseball + arts and crafts

     ah, saturday. 'twas nice. went to the astros game, where a 21-year-old named carlos hernandez struck out 7 and walked only one on his way to pitching 7 shut-out innings. then on to freebirds for a huge burrito, amy's for some mmm mmm good ice cream, back to freebirds to make a space shuttle out of tin foil. came home. "waiting for guffman" was on tv, ironic because courtney and i just watched "best in show" (same director and cast) last night. thought of kent and laughed at all the funny parts for him, and was almost inspired by parker posey to go to the dairy queen for a blizzard, or "just a coke." checked my fantasy baseball team and went up 1.5 points today on the strength of my pitching. wished my team could remember how to hit though. now getting ready to go running, since the sun has finally gone down and houston is only as hot as hell, instead of the usual 5 degrees hotter than hell. ha--edgar said that this afternoon and made me laugh. anyway. off i go.

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     ¶ 08.18.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Friday, August 17, 2001

     racing against a vomit comet

     the boys flew on the vomit comet yesterday. i told daniel i'd be there at 11:30 when the plane landed, and so i left work around 10:45, thinking i'd watch the last couple parabolas on the downlink and then see the plane come in. well, as i'm sitting at a stoplight about a mile and a half from ellington, i glance in the rear view mirror and see the plane on its approach to the runway! crap, it's half an hour early! so i speed down highway 3, seeing the plane touch down and begin braking, then i turn into ellington and whiz down the road that runs along the fence while the plane is moving down the taxiway parallel to me. i park my car, jump out, run through the hangar and find alisa and courtney literally a minute before the door opens up and the fly boys climb out.

     they had a great time. no one on the entire plane threw up--only the third time there's ever been a "no kill" flight. i wanna go again. today the girls fly, and i'll make sure i don't cut it so close again when i go to meet them.

     i just realized yesterday that i only have three and a half weeks of work left, and i have so much to do in that time. i am gonna be working really hard to finish my project, since all the background work has taken longer than expected.

     becca's going to egypt and morocco in october. i'm so envious. i want to go too!

     so this guy in my group named matt has put me on his email list, and sends out emails in the mornings with links to news in the twa 800 crash, or the oklahoma city bombing, or basically anything that has to do with government coverups. since we're both federal government employees, i find it sort of ironic that he is so distrusting of the very entity that employs him. anyway, today he sent this link, which contains the statement that "science is nothing more than a long series of corrected mistakes." i'm not going to argue the pros and cons of that idea, but it just reminds me of the heated debate carter and kent and i had in a train station in...switzerland? i think it was in switzerland. anyway. random memory.

     and then, this side note from the article makes me laugh: "would that [anthropologists] could be as succinct as astronomers. the beginning of everything? the big bang. a big red star? a red giant. a small white star? a white dwarf. and so on." yeah! go astronomers!

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     ¶ 08.17.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Thursday, August 16, 2001

     weightless haircuts for boys with mops of blond hair

     ugh. i despise arguments and disagreements. the one i am currently having is making me ill. but i think maybe it is over. i have been listening to counting crows, "have you seen me lately" a lot. the version from the unplugged cd. i do that when i feel badly about hurting someone's feelings. i don't know why, but the song just seems to fit, or something weird like that.

     i think we will be ok though. i hope so, because i will really need the friendly face in california.

     daniel (and robbie) fly on the vomit comet today. the boy says he got a haircut, but i won't believe it until i see him. i told him i'd be there at 11:30 when the plane lands, and i'd take him out to the tradition post-flight lunch at pe-te's. if he really did get his hair cut, i even offered to pay. boy needs a hair cut! we went swimming the other day and when wet, his hair in the back was as long as mine.

     last night was fun. i didn't really do anything special. after work i went to target and got a bunch of random things, then i came home and packed it all in a box and this morning, i shipped it. away it goes. then i sat around and worked on my knitting. phil says he keeps hoping to see me just clicking the needles and having yarn fall away like water, like you see in the cartoons when an old grandma is knitting at light speed. unfortunately, that's not how it works. the other night i got really frustrated, and ended up just starting over, because the yarn started to get all frayed and i kept on missing stitches. and jen is gone and can't help me anymore. poop.

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     Wednesday, August 15, 2001

     the milky way isn't just a candy bar

     {sigh} i read stories like this one and it just makes me sad. 99 percent of the people in the continental united states and europe can't look up and see a truly dark sky. they can't see the milky way, because it's too damn light outside.

     i remember when my dad and i used to bundle up in our warmest clothes and go down to the tennis courts behind our house in the winter to lie on the ground and look at the stars. i saw the andromeda galaxy, and the orion nebula, and memorized many of the winter constellations. i learned star names like rigel, betelguese, castor, pollux, capella, aldebaran, sirius, and procyon, and knew where to find them all. i could spot orion's belt in a heartbeat. in the summers when we visited the farm where it was darker, i could spot the milky way stretching from horizon to horizon. i watched the big dipper and casseopeia rotate around polaris, saw the great square, picked out vega, deneb, and antares, and discovered my favorite constellation of all--scorpio.

     granted, one of the reasons i was so interested in learning all this astronomy was because i loved the stars, and space. still, i wish everyone knew where to find the big dipper, or how to pick out the bright shoulders, feet, and belt of orion. i think most people were capable of doing that years ago; today, we've become accustomed to the fact that the night sky has a permanent orange tint from the streetlights and neon signs that cover our cities and highways.

     i just think it's sad.

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     ¶ 08.15.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Tuesday, August 14, 2001

     random things about yesterday

     i had something i was going to write about this morning, but now i've forgotten. i hate it when that happens. hmm.

     i was so productive at work yesterday it was scary. some days i just get in the groove, and yesterday was the first of those days in a long time. it was nice. my project is really picking up again...i have a lot to get done in the five weeks i have left. it's hard to believe i've already been here for two months! life is wonderfully normal. i almost miss the stress and sleepless nights of georgia tech. almost.

     i do miss the people though. i wish i could have been there with the old 119 crowd last saturday for carter's birthday.

     oh! i remembered what i was going to write. i had a nightmare last night, which i know is not that unusual, but i haven't had a nightmare in months...maybe even years. normally i don't even remember my dreams, but this summer i have been having tons. very vivid ones too, not in the sense that they were disturbing or discomforting, but just in the sense that i can remember all the details of what happened in them. last night's was a nightmare though...i woke up with my heart pounding. some guy that i didn't even recognize went crazy, and started shooting people who had come out to this big auditorium to see an nsync concert. he was all upset because his girlfriend had broken up with him, or something, and i didn't recognize his girlfriend either. i was on stage dancing when all of a sudden all the nsync boys ran outside to confront this guy with the gun. i ran outside too, but then i went back inside to help all the people who were panicking. then my alarm went off.

     very weird. rather disturbing. also, i don't know why no one i knew was there. it was just me, the nsync boys, and a bunch of strangers. hmm. ok, i'm going to move on because this is just freaky.

     last night the roomies and i went out to dinner and had some of the best barbeque i've ever had. oh man, i can't believe i didn't discover ryan's smokehouse until last night! and it's so close! mmmmm.

     afterwards, the boys went to play guitar and drums in the garage at chris and edgar's place (the drumset is too loud to play in the apartment), and i came home...and decided to play my flute! i haven't played since our flute choir concert back in april, and it felt really good to practice again, even if my pinky was throbbing when i finished. i think the fact that my pinky finger is always sore after playing probably means i don't hold the instrument quite correctly, but after 14 years of playing, and playing well...it seems to work for me.

     i think my sim has almost finished its run. off to check.

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     ¶ 08.14.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Monday, August 13, 2001

     working hard or hardly working?

     i don't know why i never update my diary over the weekends. it's not like i don't have internet access at home or anything. at work, writing something is part of my morning routine, just like drinking coffee, checking cnn.com for news, checking cnnsi.com for sports, checking my email, and cleaning up my desk to find what i need to work on that day.

     doug, gil, and rich are back from vacation, and ray comes back tomorrow. though it is nice to have my group whole again, i must say that it was fun last week with four out of the eight people in my group on vacation...especially since the four of us who were here are all under the age of 25. we have fun. friday afternoon, we watched the launch and then came back to the office to play some foam basketball. after about 10 minutes of that, we stopped, kinda looked at each other, and said "well, time to go home!" i really love my group this co-op tour. they are awesome, and make work much more fun.

     anyway. my weekend was fairly quiet, but fun. i like having two roommates even more than i liked having one! ron and phil and i hang out in the apartment and just talk, or cook (!), or listen to phil play the guitar. he is really good. yesterday he taught me the e chord, so now i know five chords: g, d, c, a, and e, and i'm getting better at changing smoothly between them. i cut my fingernails, and that helped a lot.

     yesterday the three of us went to the driving range, and they taught me how to hit a golf ball. i ripped a nice blister open on my palm (geez, between learning guitar and golf and running into couches, my hands and feet are taking a beating), but hey, i'm a natural golfer! i'm the next tiger woods! hmm. well, i was able to hit the ball off the tee more consistently than ron, even if the ball only went 100-125 yards, and so i was happy.

     last night i got to go out to eat with daniel and courtney and alisa and a few others. i thought this summer was going to be lonely in the sense that i wasn't going to have all the visitors that i got last summer...but that hasn't turned out to be the case at all. i love visitors!

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     ¶ 08.13.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Friday, August 10, 2001

     people coming and people going

     i have the convertible for the weekend. this should be fun.

     jason is leaving on saturday to go back to school, and i'm really going to miss him. i'd forgotten what it was like to attend a school on quarters like i now do, and have co-op tours that always overlap others. you start work late, they finish work early. mainly, it's just that i never want to say goodbye...i'm really bad at saying goodbye.

     last night jason and chris came over, and phil got back from austin, so the three of them and ron and me watched the braves-astros game. the braves lost. {sigh} it was a one-run game, and i was the only one rooting for them. actually though, i don't think phil was rooting for anybody. he made the comment that "isn't it cool that in this apartment, the one who knows the least about baseball is not the girl?" he and ron have taken to calling me "the woman" at times. that would probably bother most girls, but i think it's kind of funny. i like hanging out with the guys.

     the georgia tech vomit comet team is in town, but i haven't seen them yet, and dan has already commandeered them into going to some concert tonight, so i don't get to hang out with them today either. i talked to daniel and robbie last night though, and made them promise we'll do something tomorrow. i'm trying to think of the best things to show them in houston. turns out i'm horrible at giving tours of cities i actually live in...i never know what the "touristy" things are. well, the space center of course, but since i work there and they're going to get tours as part of their vomit comet stuff, that one's already covered. maybe we'll just drive to the beach in the convertible!

     kent's leavin' on a jet plane today, back to atlanta. i didn't get to see him at all this week except for the fifteen minutes at denny's that i mentioned earlier. he was at work until after 1 a.m. last night. oh well. i'm just glad he was able to stay here for a weekend.

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     ¶ 08.10.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Thursday, August 09, 2001

     tired of being tired

     {sigh} someday soon, i will make this diary beautiful, and it will have some extraordinary layout instead of this boring "standard diaryland template" blue. so i think i've decided to use this service for a while. though my preference would be to host my diary on my own webpage (hmm...there may actually be a way to do that...i'll get back to you), i must admit that updating via the web is much easier than creating a new file each day like i was doing for my "countdown: 100 days" page. we'll see.

     maybe i'll work on it tonight. i have to stop being such a lazy bum. every day i come home from work, fix some dinner, and then basically spend the rest of the evening on the couch watching tv, reading a magazine, or learning a new guitar chord. my biggest concern is that i'm tired all the time, even though i'm getting 7+ hours of sleep each night and haven't been doing anything strenuous. i don't know why i'm so tired. this has been kind of a boring summer, yet i can't really complain because i know it's been good for me. not always having something to do, somewhere to go...it's nice. but i feel lazy. i need to get some exercise, and get some energy so that i'm not so sleepy. i have a whole list of things i want to do, and i just need to get motivated to do them. ron said i wasn't like this last summer. i don't want to turn into a sloth.

     in the meantime. so i really like reading becca's diary. one, it's fun to hear what she's up to in switzerland (i keep picturing her in montreaux, which is the only part of switzerland i've visited, even though she's in baden), and two, it's nice to read an online diary about someone's life other than my own.

     last friday when we all left work, jsc was at hurricane preparedness level 4. apparently this means we have to put our computers in plastic bags in case the hurricane comes our way. nevermind the fact that we're on the third floor of the building. as my officemate, doug, said: "if it floods up here, forget about us--there are going to be people in oklahoma with problems." hee hee. i had forgotten about that funny story until i told it to kent yesterday during the 15 minutes i saw him at denny's. that silly boy, he is working so much, and so late. hopefully i will get to see him tonight, since tomorrow he goes back to atlanta for good. it has been nice just knowing he's here.

     last night courtney, alisa, and daniel arrived in town. excitement!

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     ¶ 08.09.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Wednesday, August 08, 2001

     deadly mosquitos

     so as i was sitting on the couch last night scratching my 100 mosquito bites while my dinner was cooking, they announced on the news that "harris county health officials have found mosquitoes suspected of carrying the deadly st. louis encephalitis virus in storm sewers in southeast houston..." wonderful. perfect. now i'm going to itch and i'm going to die.

     even better, "most people bitten by a mosquito that carries the virus have no disease symptoms. when symptoms occur, they include fever, headache, nausea, stiff neck and changes in mental function, such as sleepiness and disorientation." so basically, it's impossible to tell the difference between the normal life of a co-op and that of a co-op with encephalitis. great.

     and on that note, i must say that my alarm clock and i are having issues. the past two mornings, i've overslept and gotten to work late. does that count as sleepiness?

     so to recap, people, this may be my last diary entry because a) i have mosquito bites; b) i have sleepiness; and c) i have a sore throat (thought the symptoms don't list that, maybe it's one they've never seen before). yep, it's official, i'm going to die. {sob} goodbye cruel world!

     anyway. back to work. ;)

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     ¶ 08.08.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Tuesday, August 07, 2001

     swiss friends

     i stole this exchange from becca's diary

     overheard in the office...
     canadian commenting on american ego: "you guys think you're god or something."
     american student response: "no, we're one nation under god."

     that amuses me so much. i am jealous that becca gets to live in exotic places for six months. (ok, so on the grand scale of things, maybe switzerland is not that exotic, but it's still pretty darn cool and i wish i could go live there too.) anyway, it doesn't surprise me to hear yet another non-american expressing distaste for american attitudes...because of course they're not wrong. americans are stereotyped as loud, inflexible, and rather obnoxious because for the most part, we are loud and inflexible and rather obnoxious. it's just a part of our culture.

     when we were traveling through europe back at the beginning of the summer, i think we originally had intentions of trying to blend in a bit, and try to experience some of the culture. that didn't work. we were with friends, on vacation, seeing amazing sights and unusual people, and so we ended up just acting like normal. and of course the american definition of "normal" is much different from the european one.

     not much to be done about it. we're different, that's all. little conversation exchanges like the one above just remind of that, and make me laugh.

     anyway. so phil arrived last night, and our two bedroom, one dining room apartment became a three bedroom, no dining room domicile. it's weird, but it'll work until mid-september, when i leave for california. i felt bad for phil, because he had a horrible day--he got up at 5 a.m., the drive from georgia took an excrutiating and traffic-ridden 14 hours, the power in our apartment went out, and he got hot wax all over his face trying to blow out a candle we'd lit when the lights went out. he asked if ron and i could check on him when we got up this morning to make sure he hadn't burst into flames in the night. (thankfully, he hadn't.)

     it's good to see him, and now i'm lucky enough to have two roommates who can always make the best of any situation. when the power went out, i figured we'd just sit around in the dark, thinking about how hot it would be if we didn't get air conditioning back soon. instead, ron pulled out a flashlight and the infamous pumpkin, phil dug out his guitar, i salvaged them each a beer from the fridge, and we all sang the got-no-electricity blues. it's gonna be a fun final month in houston.

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     ¶ 08.07.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Monday, August 06, 2001

     lessons from the weekend

     things i learned this weekend:

     1) i taste good, at least if you are a mosquito. saturday night was the luau at nick, curt, debbie, and paul's place, and as a result of sitting by the pool in my swimsuit, i am now one big mosquito bite. last night i told ron "you would not believe how much i want to show you my ass right now" and he laughed really hard, but i have 32 mosquito bites on my butt alone (you know, right below where my bathing suit ended), and i didn't figure he'd believe me unless i showed him. oh well. he said he trusted me. imagine that! anyway, in addition to the 32 on my butt, i counted 23 on my right thigh, 13 on my left calf, 2 on my face, 1 on my shoulder blade...and then i got bored and stopped counting. i estimate i have somewhere in the neighborhood of 100 mosquito bites right now.

     2) i like dancing on bars. yes, i was surprised at this one too. we went to bar houston on friday night, and got our groove thang on for a few hours. brienne and i took to the bar for a few songs, and i was quite entertained. very fun. will have to do it again.

     3) i am a clumsy oaf. so i was minding my own business walking from the kitchen to the couch on saturday when a bear ran into our apartment and stomped on my toe, making it all black and blue and swollen and generally painful to walk on. either that, or i ran into the couch.

     4) determining which pitcher gets the win in a baseball game can be arbitrary. random. i figured one of my guys would get a win for my fantasy baseball team because his team was winning when he left the game, even though he lasted less than 3 innings. apparently this is not so. apparently starters have to go 5 innings to be eligible for a win. see baseball rule 10.19.

     5) i must have a convertible. nick let me borrow his car on saturday, so i got to cruise clear lake in a green mustang convertible. it was quite enjoyable, and i felt like a royal pimp, it was great.

     6) don't leave the emergency brake on while driving. yeah. i knew this one. i just forgot. bad for the brake, and makes a funny smell.

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     ¶ 08.06.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Friday, August 03, 2001

     hearing voices from salt lake city

     {phone rings}
     "hello?"
     "hey, it's chris, hold on, i have someone who wants to talk to you..."
     {hear the phone changing hands}
     "hey sarah..."

     christina!!!

     i got to talk to christina on the phone last night, and it completely made my week. she sounds good, cheerful, tired, but ready to start getting better. she'd been able to move the toes on her right foot a half hour before i talked to her, and this morning chris told me she was able to move her right thumb and index finger slightly. the news just keeps getting better and better, and it makes me so happy. christina said i should come see her in kentucky, so it's set--i won't go to salt lake city; instead, i'll wait until she's moved to louisville and see her during her first few days in the rehab clinic.

     it's been a stressful week, to say the least, and i'm glad it's friday. i don't have any plans for the weekend, but nick wants me to come to bar houston tonight, and he, curt, paul, and debbie are having a luau at their house tomorrow night. i'll go of course. other than that, i have a lot of things i want to take care of around the apartment. cleaning my room, working on my webpage (i have the idea for the new one, just no time to actually construct the thing), trying to get going again with my knitting while jen is still in town.

     anyway.  oh! check out becca's newborn tales from the swiss nunnery page.

     ooh. i was just glancing at the co-op webpage and found this picture of curt and me at the beach party. enjoying the jacuzzi. good, clean fun at this point anyway.

     
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     ¶ 08.03.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Thursday, August 02, 2001

     after hours

     here i am, still at work. it gets really quiet around the office after 5:00 or so...good because i can concentrate on my work without distraction, bad because i kind of miss the people. i'm waiting for my postprocessor to finish, crossing my fingers that it will run to completion without producing the segmentation fault i was getting earlier.

     hmm, thunder. glance out the window. yep, it's a bit too dark for 6:15...normally the sun doesn't go down until at least 8. the center is on hurricane preparedness level 4 after hearing about tropical storm barry, which has a slight chance of heading our way. i don't know what level 4 is, but i don't think it's important.

     good god this is a quick moving storm. suddenly it is pouring rain outside. i have an umbrella here in my office, so i'll be able to make it to the car without getting soaked...i hope. wow, it is really coming down. i can see my car in the empty parking lot from the window; perhaps it is getting washed clean! nice.

     ha ha! the processor's almost done. no errors yet, keeping my fingers crossed. christina is still improving. pretty good day.

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     ¶ 08.02.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Wednesday, August 01, 2001

     three days on the phone

     you always think that bad things will never happen to anyone you know, until they do. i hesitate to write about the current event in my life here in such a public forum, but i really haven't thought about much lately except this.

     my friend was in a car accident sunday as she was driving cross country and for the past three days, when i'm not on the phone getting an update on her condition, i'm sending her an email or searching the internet for information on the injury and treatment. she fractured three vertebrae in her neck and underwent surgery to stabilize her spinal column. miraculously, she has been able to lift her arms, move her legs slightly, and has sensation everywhere.

     i spent the first 24 hours in a daze and hardly slept at all, but i've now gotten over the initial shock. she is on my mind constantly, and i am continuously thinking of her strengh and spirit and optimism and thanking god she has the qualities that will help her adapt to whatever the future holds.

     i am so anxious to see her, and each day i wait for the go-ahead to buy my plane ticket. two friends are already there but are leaving friday and saturday, and i was holding off on visiting until the weekend, so that someone would always be there. today news came that she may be moving to a rehab clinic as soon as two to three days from now, so it looks like i may not be going to the hospital in utah, but instead to the rehab clinic, possibly in kentucky. i don't care where i have to go, i just want to see her soon, just to be there with her and talk to her and help her get started with the recovery process.

     i know, i don't think there's anything i can specifically do to help her physically, but i just want to be there so badly to support her, and help her family if they need anything. i am helpless here in houston, and i hate it. i will see her soon though, very soon, and that is the thought keeping me going. she is an amazing person, and i know she will survive this.

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     ¶ 08.01.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Thursday, July 26, 2001

     boy! (and coop scoop)

     yesterday i saw the boy who is in town. (kent!) it was so good.

     good good good. :) so happy.

     i spent the good part of today at work making this week's coop scoop. i'm gonna have to start doing part of it at home; i can't afford to waste so much on-the-clock time doing the trivial coop scoop. but it was fun. in another life, i would be a journalist/graphic designer/layout person. coop scoop is different from technique; one is fluffy, the other serious, one is supposed to look gawdy, the other clean and concise. i like both ways. i think i produced a good issue.

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     ¶ 07.26.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Wednesday, July 25, 2001

     back to the future

     the building i work in is at one corner of a big parking lot. i get to work at 8:00 or 8:30, but a lot of people come in earlier than me and so i always have to park on the other side of the lot and walk to my building.

     someone who parks in the same lot has a delorean. you know, the car from the back to the future movies. i don't know where the guy works, but i see the car a lot and it always amuses me. today he pulled into the lot at the same time as me and parked nearby, so i got to watch him get out of the car. the door opened by swinging up on its hinge, and i looked for the flux capacitor. i thought about asking him if he's everything had anything weird happen at 88 mph. i was amused. ah, simple pleasures.

     i have a new obsessive song. eve 6, "here's to the night." i put it on my july cd and have been listening to it at work, which has been very slow lately, probably for two reasons. one, i'm tired. i haven't caught up on sleep in a while, and though the cold i was fighting last week has gone back into hiding, i still feel its effects. two, my project has reached a point of treading water. i worked like crazy for the last month to update code and add new analysis capabilities and run preliminary numbers, but now i've reached the point where i don't fully understand what i need to do next. i need to compare each point along the dps trajectory to every point along the crv trajectory. it sounds simple, but my elementary programming knowledge makes it more of a challenge. hopefully i can figure it out by the end of the week. as soon as i do, my project moves into the exciting phase, and i get to start producing substantial data. woo!

     another favorite new song is fuel's "bad day." it comes close to describing my life from january to may of this year. bad days...again and again and again. summer has been much kinder to me. and with that, i think it's safe to say that i have officially begun to ramble, so i'll quit typing. :)

     File under: Diaryland Import
     ¶ 07.25.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Tuesday, July 24, 2001

     missing the show

     last night we were all hoping the shuttle would come down on the second opportunity; if it had, we would have gotten quite a show here in houston as it blazed across the sky on the way to a landing in florida. unfortunately, thunderstorms at kennedy made them postpone the landing until tonight, and it'll pass too far south. sigh. space is neat.

     we went to the astros game as well. they lost, but we had fun. certain people make me sigh with thoughts of what could be. but boy can we talk the talk.

     File under: Diaryland Import
     ¶ 07.24.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Sunday, July 22, 2001

     jumping out of perfectly good airplanes

     today i jumped out of a perfectly good airplane for the second time in my life. this skydive was scarier than my first, which was weird. i felt the wind a lot more during freefall, and was really having to work to breathe normally. then i felt bad while under the parachute, probably because i hadn't had anything to eat all day. problems aside though, the jump was a lot of fun, and the view unparalleled.

     it has been a quiet but nice weekend. friday was a two movie night, as jason and i saw both america's sweethears and jurassic park 3. neither was great, but both were entertaining. saturday we headed up to the galleria for dinner and then to amy's for ice cream.

     but the best part of last night was on our way home after ice cream. jason was riding with me and we were talking about life at school...when suddenly i found myself talking about how stressful my last semester was. now that i am happily removed from the situation and can look back on things, i realize that i was not a fun person to be around.

     jason said he'd gone through the same thing, and i remarked how i wish i could somehow apologize to everyone i negatively affected last spring. i wish i could say "i'm sorry" to the friends that i put through hell. then jason said, "you know what? they're you're friends. they stood by you because you're important to them. don't underestimate that."

     he is so right.

     File under: Diaryland Import
     ¶ 07.22.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Thursday, July 19, 2001

     question of the day

     question of the day: is it possible to really be friends with someone who makes you feel inferior? whether it's intentional on their part or not...can you ever really trust them, and be comfortable enough with them to let a real friendship grow?

     my instincts tell me the answer is no, but my friend keeps proving them wrong.

     File under: Diaryland Import
     ¶ 07.19.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Tuesday, July 17, 2001

     when i'm an old woman...i'll know how to knit

     i think i am getting a cold. poop.

     traffic was horrible on the way to jen's house after work yesterday. i think this area of town gets more and more crowded as the months and years pass--i know the hustle and bustle has definitely increased since i started coming here four years ago. but i finally did reach her house; jen is teaching me how to knit! though it is funny to watch myself playing around with needles and yarn like the stereotypical old woman, i just thought it would be fun to learn. i bought some blue wool/acrylic yarn and am making myself a "bobble hat." it will be wearable...i hope!

     last night i had the sudden urge to call stanford and tell them i'm not coming, that i've decided to stay here and work full time. of course i'm not actually going to do that because i do want to go to graduate school, but i'd been thinking about kent and curt and carter and liz...all these friends who have begun life after college while i'm just "between schools." and as i sat there, knitting and watching the braves game in perfect contentment, i realized that if i took a job, i could do that every night. i could come home at the end of the day and not worry about any homework assignments or upcoming tests or meetings. maybe one more year will satisfy my urge for more education, and then i can slow down.

     ...or maybe not. either way. the thing is, i'm starting to be ok with it. when i went to get the mail on saturday, there was a georgia tech alumni magazine with my name on it. i remembered that i'd graduated...and for the first time, that thought made me laugh.

     File under: Diaryland Import
     ¶ 07.17.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Monday, July 16, 2001

     there's so much water!

     ohhhhh it is going to be a very long monday. i'm exhausted and have a sore throat. it's probably the old "haven't gotten enough sleep" thing coming back to haunt me, but hopefully i can fix it by going to bed at a decent hour tonight.

     yesterday i spent the day at six flags waterworld with liz, jen, irish john, and john's roommate jason. we'd planned on doing both waterworld and astroworld in one day, but soon realized we'd be completely worn out, and so decided to stick with waterworld and save the astroworld passes for another day. besides, waterworld was great fun and we didn't want to leave! we rode the slides, floated in the wave pool, and burned our feet on the hot concrete (you'd think a water park in texas would figure out a way to keep the ground cool, but nope).

     it was really nice to see liz though. she sounds so excited about work, and about being in houston. yet another person who is joining the real world. i saw her apartment (which is extremely nice!) and was immediately envious of her new furniture and sparkling kitchen and enormous bathroom. someday i too will have my own place, someday...

     File under: Diaryland Import
     ¶ 07.16.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Saturday, July 14, 2001

     day after beach party

     i spent the day sitting on the couch watching tv. sometimes napping. by dinner, my headache was almost gone so i did manage to get up to make some hamburger helper. hooray. so what did we learn today, kids?

         1) the alcohol i drank at beach party last night was very very good. 2) the effect that drinking a lot of alcohol has on a person the next morning, as it turns out, is not so good. i suppose that's what a screwdriver, a tequila shot, two shots of goldschlager, and a cup of something green will do, especially when you forget to eat dinner beforehand! ;)

     despite having to sleep on the floor and waking up with a solid headache, beach party was fun. the house was absolutely beautiful--definitely the nicest house i've ever been to a beach party in. i met a lot of co-ops i didn't know before, talked to some random naked guys, took sticker pictures for everyone i could find, lost my scissors, ruined another pair of flip flops, saw some old friends who flew in just for the weekend, smoked a cigar with nick and company, spent time in the jacuzzi with curt, and danced to my heart's content.

     File under: Diaryland Import
     ¶ 07.14.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Friday, July 13, 2001

     motivating myself for work

     lunch today was weird, and not in a bad way at all! jen and nick and i headed to jason's deli for sandwiches, and began talking about the division that nick and i work in, and all the different jobs there are for people to do. i have some interest in being a flight controller one day, and so i was curious to know the various paths people have taken to become one. since nick works in their group and talks to them more than i do, i figured he'd have a good idea.

     the conversation was completely normal, but somehow i left lunch extremely motivated to get back to my desk and start churning out more x-38 simulations and graphs galore. though i already like my project, suddenly i was extremely excited about designing the dps jettision! i don't know if anything like that has ever happened.

     normally i just go to work and make my computer do what i need it to do to get my required tasks done in the time allowed. i don't get too enthusiastic about my programming or sim runs, because although the end result is always interesting, the process of getting there is dull. something today made it seem fun. i wish it could be like this every day.

     File under: Diaryland Import
     ¶ 07.13.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Thursday, July 12, 2001

     settling in for the long haul

     this summer is different from those past. instead of being around solely co-ops who are living life to the fullest for three short months before returning to school, these days i watch some of my friends prepare to begin their "real" lives in houston.

     in some ways, i really envy them...for having decided where they want to live, for choosing a stable career, for moving on without looking back, and even for being able to get nice furniture and frame their pictures and buy things without thinking about how they'll transport it to wherever they go in a few months.

     as the summer progresses, i find myself becoming more at ease, maybe even happy(!), with the decisions i struggled to make before graduation. i am excited about driving out west, and excited about going to stanford, wary of the innumerable changes to come, but looking forward to seeing what graduate school holds for me.

     but i still envy the ones who are settling in.

     File under: Diaryland Import
     ¶ 07.12.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Wednesday, July 11, 2001

     way to go, dad!

     my dad is an interesting guy. he works crazy hours, doesn't like to be wrong, and eats tomato soup and spinach--together. he's always there when you need him, but is usually very predictable. then sometimes he surprises you.

     my mom is wonderful. she deals with two dozen energetic kindergarteners each day of the week and still has time to make sure her own kids are taken care of. for years, she's been saying she wants diamond earrings, but i don't know if she ever really expected to get them.

     yesterday was their 25th anniversary. dad surprised us. mom got the earrings.

     File under: Diaryland Import
     ¶ 07.11.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Wednesday, July 11, 2001

     getting older

     sometimes in a conversation, i hear something that triggers this enormous chain of thoughts that i don't really like. it happened today on the way back from lunch.

         i find myself comparing the events in my life to those in others, and wondering whether mine should match theirs. in some instances, i really wish i could say i'd done the things or had the experiences my friends have had. i imagine what would have had to happen in my life to get me to where i wish i was...and most maddening is when i see a fork in the road, and realize that i walked the wrong way.

         for the most part, i think i tend to take the right path. sometimes though, my insecurities get the better of me. when away from the group, i am more reserved than i ever want to be.

     File under: Diaryland Import
     ¶ 07.11.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words

     

     Tuesday, July 10, 2001

     apollo 13 comes to life

     sometimes i am reminded why i am becoming an aerospace engineer, and why i keep coming back to work at nasa each summer. last night was one of those times.

     pooja set things up for all the co-ops to watch apollo 13 in the old mission control center. on the screen, i watched ed harris sit at the staged flight director's console and work with other actors to bring tom hanks, bill paxton, and kevin bacon home while sitting at the real flight director's console where the real gene kranz worked with real flight controllers to bring the real jim lovell, fred haise, and jack swigert home.

     the experience was surreal. thirty years ago, the room we were sitting in was the center of seven flights to the moon. today, it looks the same as it did then. a little cleaner perhaps, and a lot less crowded with handbooks and papers and calculators and cigars, but still the same.

     in one sense, it is inspiring to be able to gaze into the room preserved as it was when it made history. on the other hand, it will never again do more than gather dust, because we stopped shooting for the stars.

     i want to be working here when we go back to the moon. or on to mars. i want to be here when mission control becomes the center of the universe again.

     File under: Diaryland Import
     ¶ 07.10.01 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Words