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Thursday, July 31, 2003

some days you gotta dance / live it up when you get the chance

cari has lost all the props i gave her a few weeks ago when she recognized the movie quote. why? because she started her own online journal, and sent an email out to everyone annoucing it...everyone, that is, except me. thus, cari is a punk. instead, i had to hear it from betsy, as she was telling me how she went and read all of my july entries and felt like she was stalking me. she also said that after reading she felt like she should get me a psychiatrist, but i think she was joking. ;) i reassured her that in writing, i have a tendency to overdramatize.

hi betsy. if you had smacked the girls behind us at the concert last night, i would definitely have written about it here today.

last night kylie, betsy, katie, fred and i went up to the compaq center for the michelle branch/dixie chicks concert (the former was "only" the opening act). it was really good. i enjoyed hearing some new songs from michelle branch, since i haven't gone out and bought her new album yet. and the dixie chicks just as good as they were when i saw them three years ago...maybe better, actually. their talent sort of amazes me. they've got one girl who can sing her heart out over and over and over again without ever seeming to have an off night, and the other two are simply amazing musicians. there's probably not an instrument with strings that they can't play, and play well.

anyway, i guess i can still add a link to cari's page. and all of you who miss hearing about france ever since nick came back can now read about cari's adventures, since she'll be in strasbourg starting soon. i don't know if she'll take pictures every day, but if she does, i'm sure she'll be much more descriptive in her writing than someone was. hee. ;)

and if you don't want to go read hers right now, i will give you this highly-appropriate quote: "I have been planning to [start a diary] so that I can keep everyone up-to-date on my Great French Adventure without sending off massive e-mails now and then and mortally offending someone by leaving them off of the list."

i am so mortally offended.

hmm. today's entry is random. muchos apologies.

Wednesday, July 30, 2003

and all that jazz

after the past couple days, i am reminded that being cryptic in a journal that many people from many places read is not always a good idea. mainly because it can lead to possible misunderstandings or needless worries. sadly, i forget this a lot.

anyway. i usually have one thing or another on my mind involving people and relationships, but there are better places for discussion than a public website. i will keep the things i don't want to be specific about under closer watch. meaning, not here. silly me.

c'est ca. merci beaucoup. la la la.

last night debbie, jason, chris and i headed downtown to see chicago. the musical, not the city. (hee.) it was, sadly, only ok. i wasn't crazy about the woman playing roxie, or the way mama morton always stood in one spot to sing her songs. i did, however, like billy flynn, and especially the woman playing velma. she had the perfect voice for that role. in any case, it was nice to go to "the theater." (say it in your best snooty voice.)

in the blast-from-the-past department, i got email this morning from an old TA from tech. he's about to graduate with his ph.d. and apparently still keeps in touch with karen enough to get both mine and becca's email addresses, as he found a photo from our class and wondered what we were all up to. the funniest part was this (he's french, forgive the grammar): "You always remember the smart one, the one who behave badly, the one who talk too much (I wonder who I can fit in this category ;-) )"

i'm amused. karen was definitely the smart one, but honestly, i don't know which was the one who talked too much and which was the one who behaved badly. one was becca, and one was me, i just don't know which of us was which. maybe a bit of both. (the "behaving badly" part, of course, simply refers to how often we teased him, or how many times we whined about lab reports. other than that, we were angels. hee.)

if i had to guess, becca was probably miss talk too much, while i was likely miss bad behavior. ah, how i loved to give my TA's a hard time. but all in good fun.

all in good fun...

Tuesday, July 29, 2003

razzle dazzle 'em and they'll make you a star

this morning i got to go to an important meeting. for someone like me who sits at a desk all day, this was sort of exciting. my boss's boss's boss's boss was there, as well as 3 astronauts, including the commander of the next mission. it was cool, and also very interesting. good questions were asked. some bad ones too, but hey.

so when things happen in my friendships that aren't to my satisfaction, i usually blame myself. it is depressingly easy for me to come up with an action or reaction on my part that could be to blame for whatever has annoyed/frustrated/saddened me. sometimes i am the culprit, but sometimes i'm not. and sometimes it's mutual. regardless, it is even easier to forget the situation, and disappear for a while.

the problem is that i never really do forget; i only pretend to. and i never really convince myself that i couldn't have done something differently to avoid the situation in the first place.

but last week i was reminded of something i often forget, and that is that i cannot control the actions of another. that the definition of "insanity is the act of doing the same things and expecting different results." that it's not always my fault. and that all i can do is be myself and hope that people will remember the good things and forgive the bad. or, as is sometimes the case with me, forgive not the bad but simply the unreasonable.

tonight i'm going to chicago. the musical, not the city. ha.

Monday, July 28, 2003

my stupid mouth has got me in trouble / i said too much again

i'm a well-adjusted, intelligent person, and yet there are still some things that leave me feeling like a 5-year-old. i let my feelings be hurt. and i can't make decisions.

i agonized all weekend over what to do now that debbie has found a new place to live, thus negating plans for her to live with nick and me. on saturday, i decided that it would probably be best for me to stay on my own. i went over to the apartment complex office to find out what my options were, because i don't want to leave my current place, and yet i need to save money.

last night i laid in bed tossing and turning until after midnight. on my mind was the fact that i am moving. yes, moving, most likely at the end of august, though it might not be until the end of september. not far, in fact only about 200 feet, from my apartment in building 8 to one in building 9. the new apartment is smaller, thus its rent is cheaper. i'll save $220 a month, plus a bit on electricity since there's less square footage to heat and air condition.

i know this is a good, sound decision, and that it is the smart thing to do. and yet i can't help but feel like i'm admitting defeat. as if i'm saying that i can't afford my current place, when i can. as if moving is admitting that i made a mistake by moving into my current apartment, in all its luxuriousness. which is all just one big mind game my brain is playing with itself, but still.

i love my current apartment. absolutely love it. when i move to the smaller one, i know there will be a period when i miss this one, and probably when i regret moving. next spring, when i have enough money to buy a new car, i'll know that i made the right decision. but right now it makes me a little sad.

it sucks when something is bothering you, and you have no one you feel like you can share it with. the move, and a few other things, are on my mind and no one can fix them but me. i know this, and yet i still wish i could pass the dilemmas off to someone else.

(2:14 p.m.)

i want to go to california. work has been too dull this summer.

i was/am so caught up in my own little sagas that i forgot to comment earlier on lance armstrong's fifth tour de france win. i watched the rebroadcast last night on the outdoor tv station, and smiled. for the past couple years i've cultivated a mini-obsession with lance armstrong, and i suppose this win won't do anything to diminish it. i find him fascinating. that's all.

anyway, congrats to lance, wherever he is. (well, he's in france of course, but you know what i mean.)

friday night leila and i went to the counting crows/john mayer concert. it was good, but i've seen both better, the former at the tabernacle in atlanta in 1999 and the latter at the backyard in austin last year. the crowd wasn't really into it, which could have just been a factor of where we were sitting (way back on the lawn), but i'm not sure. and the sound was a bit off; there were times when adam duritz sounded tunnel-ish, and when i couldn't hear john mayer fooling around on his guitar. a bit frustrating. but overall, fun. it was good to see leila. when we get together, there is always much laughter and reminiscing.

Friday, July 25, 2003

gimme your blue rain / gimme your black sky / gimme your green eyes

this morning i learned how to program a garage door, after accidentally leaving both of my openers in the car. which was in the garage. yeah.

so debbie will not be joining nick and me in a house this fall, after receiving an offer she can't refuse (to live in someone's house rent-free for 7 months while they go to russia). i'd bail too if i had that kind of deal, but now i'm all conflicted about what to do. should i just stay where i am? but then i won't save any money. should i move? ok, but where. to a smaller apartment, to a different complex, to a house? do nick and i still want to be roommates? sigh. i am at a loss. i don't know what to do, and i need to decide by the end of july (i.e. next week). eek. advice is welcome.

tonight is the long-awaited john mayer/counting crows concert. leila's driving down from austin this afternoon. wahoo.

Thursday, July 24, 2003

you've dreamed a thousand dreams / none seem to stick in your mind

i dreamed last night that i missed softball. we play softball on thursdays, i.e. tonight, so i didn't miss it. i have no idea why i had such a random yet ordinary dream.

last night debbie and i went to check out a house listed for rent on the swap shop. it was pretty nice. four bedrooms, nice sized living room, two car garage, fresh paint, big backyard. it's definitely a possibility, except it lacks the hardwood floors that nick wants/requires, so we shall see. on the way home, debbie and i got lost and ended up driving in from the far end of el dorado. as we passed some huge houses, we decided to double back and take a look. the neighborhood was bay oaks, which i'd never even heard of and didn't even know was there, but it was incredible. the houses back there are huge. out of curiosity, we picked up a few fliers from the homes that were for sale, including one advertising a virtual palace that's going for the bargain basement price of $2,400,000. i am very curious to know who has the money to live back there...

last night before i went to bed i had a brilliant idea. if it works, it will combine something that i really want to do (organize a race) with something that really needs to be done (fund an event). woohoo!

Wednesday, July 23, 2003

how did you fall in, eeyore? / i was BOUNCED

swimming has to be one of the most relaxing things in the world. in late july, the water has warmed up enough that you never have to be afraid of jumping right in.

one of my favorite things to do in a pool is to put some goggles on, sink down to rest on my back on the bottom, and watch the underside of the water's surface. sometimes i blow bubbles, liking the way they bob and spin as they float up before breaking on the surface. swimming in the rain is even better, watching the drops sploosh into the pool and listening to the sound of water on water. it sounds sort of like the ocean.

last night it wasn't raining, but i did have a good swim. i was tired, and didn't want to run, or bike, or use the elliptical machine. the pool, however, was perfect. i swam 20 laps for exercise and 5 more just to play. for once, i was the only one there.

i like swimming laps. i always feel strong and powerful in a pool. stroke, stroke, kick, kick. i tend to breathe by turning my head to the right, because i'm more comfortable that way, but i've started working on breathing to the left as well. i count strokes as i swim each length, trying to stay consistent, making sure i don't slow down, even though it feels like i am. the harder i have to breathe, and the more my hair starts to fall into my face (despite my best efforts with the clips), the slower i feel like i'm going. but it turns out i'm actually not slowing. i maintain the same speed, or at least stroke count, even as i tire.

at the end of a good swimming workout, i notice two things. first, my cheeks burn. every other part of my body is cool, because of the water, but my cheeks are always on fire. i'm sure my face gets quite red. second, my fingers and knuckles ache. i can only assume that this is from squeezing my fingers tightly together, and cupping my hands just so as i pull myself through the water. when i can really feel the weight of the water against my palms, i feel like i'm doing well.

i never do flip turns anymore. i'm sure i can still do them, but i wonder how effective they'd be. i haven't practiced them since i was 15-years-old and finishing my mediocre career on the ol' swim team. i never could get the rhythm of butterfly just right, and dreaded being asked to swim IM. but i could hold my own in the freestyle and backstroke, and often won the breaststroke. my favorite event was the IM relay; i always swam breaststroke.

i climbed out of the pool last night tired and smiling. i read a few chapters in my book as the sun went down and dusk settled in. debbie came over for a swim. soon it was too dark to read, and i headed home, happy.

Tuesday, July 22, 2003

a year in houston

today is my anniversary. it's been exactly one year since i started working here, and while last summer still felt like a true summer (vacation, down time, etc), this summer has slipped past quietly and without warning. i can't believe it is almost august again. such is life as an adult, i guess. in any case, the year has passed quickly, and there's been both good and bad.

in the past year, i've done a lot of running. the lunar rendezvous run last saturday was the first race i've ever done twice, but i know it won't be the last. counting from the 2002 version of that race, i've successfully finished 12 5k races, 2 10k races, a 5-miler, the third leg of a 4x2.8-mile relay, and (last but not least) one sprint distance triathlon.

in the past year, i've done a lot of traveling. i've seen friends and family in atlanta three times, but been home to charlotte only once. i've driven over to austin three times, up to dallas once, and past san antonio to camp in a state park. i saw one historic and one mediocre baseball game in new york, and two more in boston. i also had two lovely trips across the ocean, once for a road trip through scotland and once for a week in and around aix-en-provence, france.

in the past year, i've had fun times with friends, including being in attendance at one "it's about time" wedding, and (well, in three more weeks) a "we always knew it would happen" wedding. we've seen plays and movies, had silly parties, eaten spaghetti without utensils, and hunted houston's ghosts.

in the past year, my job and the future plans of my employer changed drastically when we lost 7 coworkers and one space shuttle.

it's been an eventful year. it looks like i'll be in houston for at least one more, and i'm sure things will continue to be interesting.

time to take my sister to the airport. it's been nice having her here.

Monday, July 21, 2003

run run as fast (or as slow) as you can

i ran a 5k on saturday before my sister arrived--the lunar rendezvous run, one of the few that are actually held within a few miles of my apartment (thus allowing me a few extra precious moments of sleep). it's july in houston, which meant it was scorching outside, and yet i still somehow managed to turn in my best 5k time since december! 30:46. it's been discouraging lately to see how my times, which were improving so steadily at the end of last year, have dropped off this year as i cut back on my running in hopes of curing my shin splints. the best race i think i've run to date was the rockets run back in january, but since the course was short, i'll never know for certain. since then, my times just seemed to get worse and worse.

but on saturday i did well. i ran the first mile in 9:15 (9:15!! good lord, i don't run that fast!) and slowed down to just over 10 minutes per mile after that. but 30:46. i am pretty happy.

as an aside, it is endlessly interesting to me that 30:46 makes me so happy. 50% of the population can probably run faster than that without a problem, not to mention the fact that world class runners can run the distance in less than half that time. i will never run that fast; it's just not in my body to do so. and yet it's still my goal to get to sub-30:00 on a consistent basis. that's all. it's funny.

c'est la vie.

Sunday, July 20, 2003

muh sustah

happy 34th anniversary of the first moon landing. whee.

my sister is in town! hurrah! she got here around 12:30 yesterday after talking the continental agents into putting her on an earlier flight, thus avoiding three more hours of sitting in the miniscule mcallen airport. i picked her up and we kept so busy for the rest of the day that she didn't even get a chance to rest until last night.

we had lunch at jason's deli, dropped her stuff off at my apartment, and then headed to walmart to drop off her 11 rolls of film. while it was being processed, we went to the grocery store and watched an episode of trading spaces here in my apartment. then we went back to walmart to pick up the photos, grabbed dinner at chik-fil-a, and went to old navy so katie could spend her birthday gift card. i'm sure she slept well last night!

this morning we got up to go sailing. gavin and jen both wanted to come along, so becca stayed behind, leaving me solo in command of the sailboat. it stressed me out more than i had expected--being "in charge" and all. i was sort of nervous the whole time we were on the water, and the facts that 1) we rigged the main sail slightly wrong, 2) the wind alternated between strong and non-existant, and kept changing directions, and 3) we had to launch from the powerboat/jetski ramp...well, all of that did nothing to help my anxiety. in the end, we stayed on the water for almost two hours, i guess, but didn't end up doing anything more than sailing back and forth at the hilton end of the lake because the wind and the main sail kept acting up. so, not as successful an outing as last week's, but i will improve with practice.

katie and i did absolutely nothing this afternoon. we ordered pizza for a late lunch, watched the braves score 8 runs in the 8th inning to come back to sweep the 4-game series with the mets, and then vegged. i watched movies on hbo while katie napped, and then started reading the new harry potter book. we went to see "bruce almighty" at the theater tonight and both gave it ho-hum reviews (neither of us are that crazy about jim carrey), came home, finished off the pizza, watched the space station go by overhead, and...now it's about bedtime. :)

Friday, July 18, 2003

oh make me a red cape, i wanna be superman

"my friend is not perfect—-no more than i am-—and so we suit each other admirably." -alexander smith

certain events and conversations in my life lately have me thinking about friendships. i think it would take me paragraphs upon paragraphs to fully convey the ins and outs of my numerous thoughts on the subject, but i can make an attempt to summarize it in a few sentences.

somewhere there is a quote about how a true friend is a person who knows you and despite that, loves you. this fits with my own ideas, as it's always been my belief that no one is without quirks and annoying habits. in order to become friends with someone, you only have to realize that the quirks they embody are those that you can forgive. because overall, they make your life happier.

i used to believe that you should never have to complain about your friends, and that if you found yourself doing so, then maybe you needed new friends. to this day, i still hate to argue with my friends, even if it's simply about politics, or what restaurant we should go to for dinner. but i've also realized that complaints and arguments are part of truly good friendships. there have been times when i've thought a friendship was over as a result of some conflict, only to find that it became stronger.

anyway.

this morning i went to an interesting meeting. this was the best quote to come out of it (i'm paraphrasing, but still): "the paper is too technical. it's going to congress. it needs to be dumbed down to an 8th grade level."

and yes, we actually did get to play softball last night at last, after a month of rainouts. the month off certainly didn't do anything for my hitting (i went 0-for-3), but i did make a nice play at second and another good catch in left center to make up for it, and we won 8-7. i was like the rotating fielder, playing at least an inning at left center, first base, and second base. fun.

Thursday, July 17, 2003

"you always get back much more than you give"

i have one big quirk when it comes to gift-giving, and it is this: i don't like to give people exactly what they expect. as such, i am not a fan of amazon wish lists, wedding and baby registries (except for the whole price gun scanner thingie, which is awesome), letters to santa, or any other means of people telling me what i should buy them.

don't get me wrong--these things are not bad in general. registries are great, because it lets people know what you want. letters to santa are great, because they are cute, and give parents a clue as to what the toy-du-jour is. amazon wish lists are great because you don't even have to go to a store to buy anything; you just click a few times and voila, a new dvd or book will be at your friend's house in a few days.

all that stuff is good. most gift-givers like to know what you want. but not me. i just don't like to use any sort of list.

like i said, it's a quirk.

i feel that if i know the person well enough to give them a gift, i should know them well enough to be able to find something on my own. and something that will surprise them. in a good way. and then both gifter and giftee can be pleased, the giftee because they got something cool, and the gifter because they were so creative.

hmm. actually, as a concession, i will budge a bit and stipulate that wedding and baby registries are slightly different, since they include items that the couple really does need for their new home or new child. as such, when buying gifts for these events, i do try to get something on the list. however, i still try to give something cool, something i know the couple will use to do fun things. case in point: giving leila and brian the rice cooker leila pointed at in the store = extremely boring, and i only did it because i'd been out of the country for the month before the wedding. giving katie and fred a smoothie maker, and ron and buzz a group-purchased set of nice tools = not so boring.

(ok, and one more concession can be made in the case that a person really wants something specific, like last christmas when i wanted the lord of the rings special edition dvd, and i told david to get me that and nothing else. but he did a really smart thing by telling me it was sold out, and i, the gullible, believed him, thus allowing the present to still be a surprise. go david. sneaky.)

but for christmas, birthdays, and other occasions, i always hope to be at least somewhat more creative than that. even if it's just a book they've never heard of but i think they might enjoy, or a movie they don't have but i think they might like to have. mainly i just like to try to surprise people.

most of the time, i feel that i've failed if i have to resort to a pre-ordained list of gift ideas. how dull! how boring! how unoriginal of me!

the hardest people to be creative for are my grandmother and my dad. the easiest are my mom and sister. i've probably given some strange gifts over the years in my attempts to be original, but most of the time i think it works out.

anyway. we might actually get to play softball tonight, as it hasn't rained since tuesday. cross your fingers...

Wednesday, July 16, 2003

this time, it counts...(well, sort of)

the small excitement of yesterday's hurricane (well, tropical storm as far as my area was concerned) has passed, and we are back to dull old boring normal. ha. i did take a few pictures yesterday of the slight flooding we did have here, mainly for the benefit of my curious parents. you can view them here if you're curious as well. the rising waters weren't spectacular by any means, but they do give a person a pretty good idea of what might happen if claudette had made a more direct hit, or if it had been stronger than category 1.

anyway.

last night was nice. i left work feeling extremely frustrated with the world, but i worked off some of it in the weight room, and the rest of it disappeared when we managed to actually win another volleyball game. hurrah! everyone on the team is improving, and with the help of some strategically placed subs, the last two weeks have gone well. we always play best in the first of the three games. hmm.

i came home to fix dinner and watch the all-star game. i missed the first inning and a half because of volleyball, but it was still scoreless when i tuned in. i wasn't paying close attention to the game for a while, as i busied myself cooking dinner and talking baseball with carter, but i sat down to watch the last couple innings, which frustratingly turned into a national league loss. i wanted to see smoltz. i wanted the braves to have home field advantage, if they can make it to the world series. watching rafael hit a ball to within one foot of being a home run, only to be caught for the last out of the game was sad. ah well.

all in all, it was really a pretty good game. i do feel bad for the players who were on the team, but didn't get into the game...but at the same time, it was nice to see it played a bit more like a real game, and thus taken a bit more seriously.

though i could have done without fox's stupid slogan. "this time it counts." ugh.

Tuesday, July 15, 2003

thar she blows

well then. we are getting some lovely little effects from tropical storm, i mean, hurricane claudette, which is making its way towards landfall a little ways down the coast from houston. it's raining and it's really freaking windy. yup, that's what a hurricane will do. i don't think we have hurricane strength winds outside yet, but it's blowing hard enough to wake me up at 4 a.m. and again at 6:30. and the bayou is filling up; i think the water level back there is higher than i've ever seen it before. luckily, it'll have to rise at least 10 feet more to pose a threat. which probably won't happen.

(10:00 a.m.)

well, i think it's actually less nasty outside now than it was when the wind kept waking me up last night/this morning. i drove to work and there were some branches down and lots of leafy plant debris, but other than the fact that the rain sometimes appeared to be coming in sideways, things calmed down a bit. i dunno if the wind will pick back up again or not. the eye is supposed to come ashore a hundred miles or so down the coast, between here and corpus christi.

wind and rain, wind and rain. that's all it is, wind and rain.

i am sleepy. storms don't do much for my ability to sleep soundly at night. though it did make for some excitement, sitting on my couch watching the wind whip up little whitecaps in the bayou. i'm glad it shifted north, and avoided drenching katie in reynosa.

Monday, July 14, 2003

oh gee, you're a fly kid / not me, i'm a sky kid

there are days when i should be a phone person. when i sit at home lost in my thoughts, and wish i could just call someone to chat. but i never do. my phone is mostly unused. i don't know why i have one.

"and they'll walk out to the bleachers; sit in shirtsleeves on a perfect afternoon...and they'll watch the game and it'll be as if they dipped themselves in magic waters. and the memories will be so thick they'll have to brush them away from their faces."

i did not go outside yesterday.

i didn't wake up until noon, and when i did, i knew immediately it would be a lazy, groggy, lost-in-thought and wishing-someone-would-rescue-me-from-it day. i drank a coke and paid some attention to the cat. the cat's not going to want to leave my apartment, as i've paid him more attention in 48 hours than his owner ever does. i talked to dad, and later to mom.

the rest of the day was spent cleaning. simplifying, if you will. i finally pulled out the file boxes that have been sitting untouched in my closet for a year now, and started going through them, weeding out things i don't need. i am a pack rat, and as such, i had so many things from high school and college saved. playbills from all the broadway-caliber shows i've been to. silly coloring book pictures people have given me. photographs, from high school and from college. programs, certificates, letters and cards. postcards that used to hang on my dorm room door.

it was like revisiting my life from ages 18 to 23, all stored in little bits of paper. every item i pulled out of the filing bin brought back a flood of memories. late night walks around campus, knocks on the door at the end of the hall, conversations on the plush velvet couch, deadlines in the nique office. beach parties, shag parties, toga parties. theme-less parties. the way people used to feel about me, and the ways they used to show it, the way i used to feel about people, and the ways i used to show it. the night of my final marching band competition and the night the braves won the world series; both happened on the same october night.

and reminders that there are some things i cannot change, or maybe that simply aren't meant to be changed, no matter how much i want it or how hard i try.

there were many good memories in the old box. a few sad, but mostly good. the photos, letters, cards, and silly coloring book pictures went back into the box. the rest ended up in a big white trash bag, which i then carried outside and dumped rather unceremoniously in the dumpster.

it seems sad to hear that i threw away so many reminders. but that's all they were: reminders.

the memories are still there.

Sunday, July 13, 2003

sail away

we went sailing yesterday, and no one drowned, and the boat didn't capsize, nor sink. in fact, the only real problem was one nice head bonk indirectly related to the fact that the is a poorly located cleat about 5 feet up the mast that the jib sail keeps getting stuck on:

sarah: "i'm gonna stand up and get the jib unstuck from that cleat, are you going to jibe?"
becca: "no."
sarah: "ok."

so i stood up to unstick the jib, becca accidentally jibed, the boom swung across and WHAP into the side of my head. i was not a happy camper (er, sailor) at that moment, and pondered throwing becca overboard and heading back to shore with matt. but i didn't. perhaps from now on, i'll do most of the steering though.

anyway, all in all the first sailing of our new old boat was a rousing success. matt, george, and rich came out to watch/laugh, and nick brought his sailboat as well, so it was a nice little away-from-work gathering on the lake. it took us some time and assistance to rig everything, but getting it into the water was simple enough, and i think we did very well with the actual sailing part. we went probably two-thirds of the way down the lake (far enough to admire the expensive clear lakes shores houses) and then meandered back. getting the boat out of the water was more difficult than in, but i suppose that's to be expected, what with having to work against gravity and all. derigging is of course much quicker than rigging as well.

all in all, we spent five and a half hours outside, 3 hours of which were actually spent in the boat on the water. and i only got slightly sunburned! go me.

in other news, kennda has gone out of town, and i, in an i-want-a-pet moment of weakness, volunteered to take her cat. so i have a cat. for the next month, in theory. hmm. i suppose this will be the test of whether i'm a cat person or not. we shall see.

Friday, July 11, 2003

row, row, row your boat

becca's neighborhood is officially freaky. i suspected this before, but after last night, i'm certain of it. our story begins with a boat...

we bought this boat (and trailer) a week and a half ago for a really great price from a guy named bob. it's a 17-foot ~35-year-old modified sailstar, a.k.a. the old mutt boat. we haven't yet worked out all the towing issues yet, as becca and i both have small sedans, so cari was kind enough to volunteer her truck, her stick-shift skills, and her odd work schedule to help us pick it up.

the first attempt was made on tuesday night, but alas, the ball attachment bought specifically for cari's trailer hitch for the boat pickup was too low to the ground.

strike one.

the second attempt was made on wednesday morning, with a ball attachment dropped into the hole in cari's bumper. the boat made it successfully back to becca and cari's house, where cari left it in the driveway, ready and waiting to be wheeled into the garage.

wednesday night, becca made the first attempt at housing the boat. at this point, while i was blissfully (or at least diligently) running on the treadmill in the luxuriousness of las palmas, becca discovered that the mast cradle was about 2 inches too tall for the garage door in its current configuration. as the mosquitos began to bite, becca decided another night in the driveway couldn't hurt a boat that had been stored outside for the past few months anyway.

strike two.

thursday dawned. we came to work. we worked. we watched tropical storm claudette. we made plans to sail this weekend, and thus left work determined to get the boat into the garage if it was the last thing we did.

i arrived at becca's house to find her in conversation with her next-door neighbor, who promptly commented "wow, the homeowner's association is letting you keep this in the driveway??" hmm. this is freaky neighbor number 1.

we got out the hose and scrubby sponges, and laid the sails (soaked after sitting outside during yesterday's rain) out to dry on the lawn. we hosed and scrubbed, scooped out handfuls of leaves and twigs and other icky things, hosed and scrubbed some more.

a grandmotherly woman wandered over from across the street. her first comment was that our boat reminded her of when she used to sail. her second comment was "well, ha ha, you know you can't leave this in the driveway, chuckle chuckle." this is freaky neighbor number 2.

we brought huckleberry/hunter the puppy outside to observe the boat activities. he was returned because the woman who adopted him decided to listen to her neighbor, who said the dog was a pitt bull that would grow up to attack small children and strangers. ooook. this is freaky neighbor number 3.

while the grandmotherly lady was still hanging around watching us hose and scrub, the man from across the street wandered over with his dog. his first comment was the astute observation that one of the puppies was back. his second observation was "ho ho, good thing you're not planning to leave this in the driveway, or you'd get a letter, chortle, ha ha." this is freaky neighbor number 4.

(side note: what is it with these people and their homeowner's association? a person can't even live in peace in their own neighborhood? a person can't keep a boat in their driveway for a single day without 3 separate warnings about incurring the wrath of the homeowner's association? it's downright freaky. their comments are made in polite, laughing tones, and yet you can hear the threatening and/or fearful undertones. it's like some horror movie. i expect the neighbors to turn into zombies who attack becca, cari, and kennda one night moaning "nooooo boooooats, moooow the lawwwwwwn.....")

eventually, we couldn't hose and scrub anymore, and were forced to deal with the reality of trying to get the boat and trailer into the garage despite the too-tall mast cradle. an earlier trip to west marine (where we bought 4 life jackets for a mere $20, so you can all feel safe when you come sailing with us, and so we don't get fined) had resulted in no immediate trailer-lowering solution. but we had an idea!

it turned out to be surprisingly easy, compared to what i'd expected. it's definitely a two-person job, but only takes about 5 minutes. we roll the trailer up to the garage door, and take a deep breath. one of us plays superman, lifting the tongue of the trailer high enough for the other person to release the pin and swivel the front wheel into its storage position. this lowers the front of the trailer about 8 inches, which, as it turns out, is juuuust enough. with me pulling from the front and becca pushing from the stern, we pulled the 800+ pound trailer and boat three feet into the garage, at which point we could do the superman/wheel swivel trick again, and use the front wheel to pull the boat the rest of the way into the garage. final result? trailer tongue about a foot from the back wall, mast about an inch away from the back wall, stern about a foot from the garage door. the boat is entirely inside the garage.

home run!! (the pictures are at the link above.)

so tomorrow, we test the boat out on the water for the first time. matt, george, and rich are all coming along for laughs. wish us luck!

Thursday, July 10, 2003

work it

well, it's thundering again, which means that it will soon be raining, which means that softball will be cancelled for the third week in a row. it's been over a month now since i've played, seeing as how the one game this season that didn't get rained out was the week i was in new york watching a no-hitter. ah well. such is summer in houston.

last night both elliptical machines were taken again. it is as if i'm being punished for having seen the glory and beauty of the workout room at carter's apartment complex. like the ten commandments of workout rooms. "once thou hast seen a workout room better than yours, thou shalt never again be able to use the freaking elliptical machine because someone else shall always be on it, making you recognize the inferiority of las palmas." sigh. i thought i was living in luxury. wah.

lunchtime. more maybe later.

(1:22 p.m.)

"worrying about something that may never happen is like paying interest on money you may never borrow." -unknown

Wednesday, July 09, 2003

he wanted to simplify, so i took the gold plush velvet couch

perhaps my favorite thing about carter's apartment is that it was neat and organized, and yet it was still obviously his apartment, impossible to mistake for anyone else's. it is the apartment i dream of having, if i could only fight through my haphazard collection of knick-knacks, doo-dads and thing-a-ma-bobs and make some sense of the chaos. my mere presence in his apartment disturbed the order. by the time i left, the blinds were all closed the wrong way, there were twice as many soda cans cluttering the kitchen counter, the papasan was all misconfigured, and the coffee table books were spread everywhere instead of their neat stack on the corner. i think i forgot to put the dvds back in their drawer.

you could probably say that i made the apartment look "lived in." you could also say i was like a mini-tornado.

carter has little things that remind him of people or places, and as i wandered around looking at them and getting him to explain the ones i didn't know, they all seemed perfect. i, on the other hand, can make anything into something "special" and "meaningful." i have a wooden posable man, just because i wanted one years ago when i planned to be an artist, and never got one. why do i need one now? i don't know. somewhere on my bookshelf is a pile of rocks from the coast of scotland. rocks!

i have too much stuff. i need to simplify. i've got a plan!

i am feeling really good today, for that, and for other reasons. the conversation and balcony calm of monday night are still with me. we lost at volleyball last night but had fun doing it. the sun was casting great evening rays of light through the clouds as i drove home. even the two people who were completely hogging the elliptical machines didn't bother me too much, as i just lifted weights instead. (ah, if only we had a gables-quality exercise room!)

there will be at least one person who will laugh at hearing the following, but i've realized that i may not be as big a fan of winter as i've always said. in fact, i may actually like summer a lot more than i let on. sure, it's hot, and i love to complain about that, but i love the sunshine. and summer showers. and staying light until 9:00. and fireworks. and...more sunshine. i like cold as well, but winter is too dark.

anyway.

i installed this new google toolbar, that has a feature to block pop-up windows. sure, google may be monitoring everything i type and every website i visit, but hey, so is nasa, and the lack of pop-up windows is awesome.

Tuesday, July 08, 2003

i believe we have two lives

before i commence with my regularly scheduled entry, i have to give crazy mad "you rule!" props to cari. we were emailing this morning and she complimented my choice of quotes in the title of my entry yesterday. ah, happiness. it's from the hunt for red october. people rarely get the quote; although many people love that movie, most people don't love it to the degree or for the sentimental reasons that i do. (boring story, unless you are 1) me or 2) interested in the little details.) i am so pleased with cari. :)

just for the purposes of exactness, here is the exact quote: "and the sea will grant each man new hope, as sleep brings dreams of home." although in the movie i could swear he leaves out the last two words and just says "as sleep brings dreams." but that could just be the way i like to hear it. i missed a few words yesterday, as i always do. i remember the gist, but never the exact wording. anyway, it is a christopher columbus saying quoted in the movie by sean connery.

now that i've thoroughly ruined the quote with explanation, we'll return to the entry i'd already planned for today.

when i moved here last summer, my mom made the drive from stanford to houston and stayed in town for a few days to help me get settled and acquire the basic things any apartment needs: shower curtain, tp, laundry detergent, lamps, etc. one day we went to linens 'n things, where mom was captivated by the green plastic adirondack chairs stacked out front, $10 each. she bought me two of them.

for $10 plastic chairs, they are really comfortable. actually, they're more comfortable than almost every other patio furniture i've ever sat on. for the first two weeks (one before and one after i went to mexico) in my apartment, before i had a couch, the green plastic adirondack chairs sat in my living room, the only seating i had to offer to my mom, and later my dad. when the couch arrived, the plastic chairs moved to their permanent residence on my balcony.

my balcony saw a lot of me last fall, but not much of me since. but last night the chairs, and the summer rain shower, were calling to me. i sat outside in the fading light and watched the lightning and the clouds, and listened to the rain. someone mows the grassy area between my apartment and the bayou, but they don't go over far enough to get the tall grasses that grow on the edge of the bayou, right where the ground starts to slope down to the water. last night the wind blew through the grasses and made that rustling sound. the sky brightened and darkened at will as i sat and watched the rain. it was comforting. relaxing.

i also had a good conversation with my dad last night. i feel like he, at my age, felt the same sort of restlessness that i do. it's nice to talk to someone who has more perspective.

today's title is another half-quote. "i believe we have two lives, the life we learn with and the life we live with after that." carter quoted it to me this weekend. i told him that i modify the quote into the life we live with, and the life we dream of living. if we're lucky, we sort of get both.

Monday, July 07, 2003

and the sea will grant new hope, as sleep brings dreams

it was so frigid on my flight back to houston this morning that it was a relief to walk outside to my car...for about a minute. then i remembered that houston is a freaking sauna, and who wants to live in a sauna?!?

ah well. for now, it's home.

i'm sleepy from getting up early this morning. when i wake up early, the days seem to last forever. this morning i spent 50 minutes on marta, two hours in the airport, an hour and a half on a plane and another hour driving home, changing clothes, getting lunch, and coming to work. it already seems like a distant memory. this is what happens when i wake up early.

my weekend in atlanta was absolutely lovely. perfect, even. i did everything i wanted to do and more. i ran the peachtree, i went to a braves game, i ate cheesecake, i saw friends. i don't really want to recount everything for fear of cheapening it, so for a cursory recap, you can read carter's bulleted list of activities.

it was one of those weekends i wish i could bottle up and keep forever. one that i didn't want to end. one that lasted forever, and yet not long enough. one that made me want to move back to atlanta, something i haven't wanted to do since shortly after i left.

friends who know you, and i mean really know you, are a drug in both the best and worst possible ways. they make me feel so good, and so happy, and yet when the day or the weekend is over, i'm left to sit in the twilight on my balcony only wanting more. that is what i will do tonight. i am restless, but old friends make me feel calm.

this is all a jumbled way to say i had a great weekend. when i have the most to say, the words don't always come.

Thursday, July 03, 2003

the system is down, the system is down

this has been cracking me up lately. every time i want a laugh, i come watch it. "the cheat is grounded! we had that lightswitch installed for you so you could turn the lights on and off...not so you could throw light switch raves!"

i have to give credit to my brother david for it. i thought i'd watched everything on the site, but i hadn't seen that one.

oh my gosh--the clock just struck 12 and it's the first thursday of the month. this is when the emergency warning sirens at work test themselves. (we have sirens in case, you know, we get air raided or come under attack! how many people can say they have freaking air raid sirens at work?!?) anyway, last month they upgraded them, or did something that made them a lot louder. last month i was able to hear them from my office, which is saying something since my office isn't on the outside of the building. (though i have to say, it does make sense to make them loud enough that even the people who don't get window offices can hear them.) anyway, point being, they just went off again, and i'm not even at work right now, i'm at home and i could hear them clearly. now granted, my apartment complex is like half a mile (as the crow flies) from site, but still. i was surprised to hear them. weird.

la la la. off to the airport.

Wednesday, July 02, 2003

to tow or not to tow

yeah, i know, i didn't update this morning. but i really don't have much to say.

becca and i bought a boat. it's a 17-foot sailboat with a trailer. the best method of towing it is still being debated, since it's a little heavier than what we (or at least i) had originally imagined. but we should be ok.

i'm going to atlanta tomorrow. originally i was going to work the morning and leave around 11, but i decided it would just be more fun to take the whole day off and sleep in. so that's what i'm doing.

off to fix dinner for the first time in a week.

Tuesday, July 01, 2003

we all lead such elaborate lives, wild ambitions in our sights

i had this dream last night that one of my close friends married another friend, and while i was happy for them, i was also sort of broken-hearted. and not for what should be the obvious reason. it was sort of a relief to wake up and realize it had only been a dream. i think all this wedding stuff happening indirectly in my life is getting into my head.

i can't recall a time that i've dreamt about my own wedding. it's always other people. i'm sure someone could have a field day of dream interpretation here.

a lot of my friends seem to be going through tumultuous times recently. not tumultuous in the grand scheme of things, but enough in our own lives to make us restless, and leave us wondering. tumultuous. that's a good word. i like words. this morning i had occassion to use another word i like, aberration. hmm.

both jen and john have had some interesting thoughts lately. one: "i have a view of what i should care about. then there is what i actually care about." two: "everyone you're friends with or even slightly involved seems to kindof take a part of you with them. and you don't really notice it till they're gone and they've taken it with them. and i guess different people take different size pieces with them depending on how much they were in your life. how many pieces can you safely just give away? what if a small piece someone runs off with is enough to change you forever?"

becca is taking russian class for an hour every morning for the next month. a lovely hour alone in our office. how nice. ;)

gavin just came in and spent 5 minutes telling me about this old sprite commercial, the entire point basically being to ask me if i was having trouble finding my motivation, and that's why i was reading cnn instead of arguing with sort. hmm. he's probably right. but he's obviously lacking in motivation as well since he wandered in just to tell me that. i think my entire group is suffering through a downturn at the moment. the majority of our work on both the sts-107 investigation and the x-38 program is over, and osp (orbital space plane) is only just starting to ramp up. we all have little projects to do, but nothing that feels pressing. we are all twiddling our thumbs a bit, and with our group lead about to go out of town for a month, this might last a while. i hope not.

my mom and brother leave today. ah well. it has been nice having them here for many reasons, not least of which is that i've realized i can do things on weeknights that are relaxing. i usually treasure my unplanned weeknights as if they are sacred; with volleyball and softball and other activities, weeknights have a tendency to turn so hectic, which only leaves me tired and cranky for work the next day. but thursday night i hung out with mom and david. sunday night we watched a lot of trading spaces and went to walmart. and last night, best of all, we went down to kemah, had dinner at joe's, and just walked along the boardwalk. mom and i even rode the cheesy ferris wheel. it was very relaxing. here's hoping that atlanta will be just as nice. a run, a play, and a baseball game...