Giant Alien Spider Beasts

I saw this real-time on NASA TV on Sunday morning. I'd glanced away from the TV for a minute, and almost yelped out loud when I turned back to the screen.

Giant spider' attacks space shuttle
Metro (U.K.)

When Nasa abruptly scrubbed the planned launch of the space shuttle Atlantis on Sunday, postponing any launch until January at the earliest, the official line blamed a recurring fault in the fuel sensors as the reason for the cancellation.

However, footage of that day - from Nasa's own cameras - reveals the real reason the launch has been delayed. It's because the shuttle has been attacked by a giant alien spider beast.

No Nasa spokesperson has yet commented on the massive intergalactic arachnid's attempt to eat Atlantis - but experts viewing the footage suggest that it is a clear indicator that the Earth is about to be plunged into an all-out space war with a race of 150ft-long demonic spiders who live on rocket fuel.

The spider attack lasted a little over a minute on December 9, as the shuttle stood helpless on the launchpad while the eldritch horror, vast beyond imagining, nibbled on it.

Then, in a display of supreme indifference and terrifying arrogance, the monster got bored and wandered off...