Restless But Lucky

For the past couple weeks, I have been feeling very restless. This happens from time to time, when a lot of small things manage to build up until I feel like my whole life is off-kilter. At that point, I'm mentally susceptible to getting bummed out about pretty much anything, like:

I had a bad sim.

Someone made extensive jokes about how dumb running is, and that got on my nerves.

I can't decide whether to buy a house or not.

I "wussed out" on the triathlon yesterday, skipping it entirely.

I saw the new flight assignments this morning and my first flight in the front room is still two years away.

I panic at the thought of having to train for another two years.

None of my photos got selected for the Houstonist gallery show.

I wallowed in self-pity for a bit about the fact that I never got an email on Friday from Houstonist, which thus meant that none of my photos were selected. I know that photography is an incredibly subjective field and that what one person loves, another person detests. But I felt like one of my photos was a shoo-in. Even that one didn't get picked!

This morning, I got an email.

Sarah, I just left you a voice mail about this -- for some reason, when we sent the e-mails out to all the photographers whose work was selected for the show Friday, yours didn't go out. It was the only one, and I'm still not sure why it happened, but I apologize for that.

At any rate, better late than never, right? Congratulations!

Two of my photos were selected.

And suddenly I feel like such an idiot.

Even if I hadn't received that email, I'm still an idiot. I let myself get so bummed out by little things, and forget that my life is actually pretty awesome. I have a good job, even if it's boring sometimes and it seems like I'll never get through this training flow. I make enough money that I have the option of buying a house, which is more than most people have. I'm getting a raise. I have awesome friends. I'm in love. I have a great family. I'm less than 48 hours from a 5-day vacation.

Life is really good, and I'm really lucky.