all vacations must end

a calm falls over my last day at home... christmas break has been good, and short. too short, though perhaps it is just that i adjust to different lives more quickly than i should. a week at home feels less like a vacation, and more like how things have always been. my "real life" becomes fuzzy. it always has.

i think that's why i'm such a big fan of pictures and photographs. it's proof that i lived in california, that i saw another country, that i built a home in mexico, that i knew this person, and that. i think it's why i have a need to keep a journal, to write. to convince myself that i didn't just conjure these things from thin air and imagination.

i have always adapted easily to new situations, at least in the physical, being-there sense. it often takes some time for my thoughts and emotions to catch up, but feeling normal in a new place comes effortlessly.

but tomorrow i go back to houston, and i am already worried that i've forgotten what my apartment looks like! i'm afraid it may be a disaster area when i walk in with irwin (who i am entertaining until becca gets back tomorrow night), as i honestly can't remember how much i cleaned before i left.

and on monday i go back to work, which is a less-than-thrilling realization. i much prefer vacation, and flitting through my days. though i suppose i like it only because it is different, and thus special. if every day was vacation, i'm sure i'd get bored. sometimes i think i must have ADD, as there are days when i actually miss the constant activity that permeated college life.

carter's here, and i am happy to see him. it is a nice ending to my christmas vacation.