March 2002 Archives

one major announcement at the moment. ok, two. you can guess which one is more important to me, seeing as how i am in california away from my family and out of the easter bunny's range.

first, happy easter.

second, with the indians facing the angels tonight, it has finally arrived...baseball opening day!! wooooooo!! i'm so excited. :)

(10:54 p.m.)

i have to say, i don't envy jen at this point. i don't envy her at all. she is struggling with the whole "grad school" decision, on top of trying to finish senior design and get through her last semester of undergrad. i remember well how stressed i was at this time last year. maybe it's just something we have to do, some grand and exhausting experience that we have to live through. in any case, i'm glad i'm past it.

nick and i went to see harry connick jr tonight. it was AWESOME. it was maybe the best concert i've ever been to. they were all having so much fun on stage, harry himself was cracking up both the audience and his band with his jokes, and maybe the coolest thing of all was the fact that the spotlight was shared. sometimes harry would sing, sometimes his band would get all the attention, sometimes the soloists were the stars. for once, i was at a concert where everyone there seemed concerned solely with making great music, entertaining the audience, and having some fun. it was great.

ah. well, i am back in california after a nice and mostly relaxing week seeing friends and apartment-hunting in houston. so what did i learn? let's see... even though i think dogs are cool, i do not qualify as a "dog person" based on the fact that i was not entertained for hours by watching two dogs play. ron is/was only, like, the coolest roommate ever. curt doesn't kiss and tell. the cheesecake factory is still my favorite restaurant. i have lots of awesome friends, as i discovered on my birthday. becca has totally taken over my group, and has laid claim to rich's desk--grr. ;) i should be able to afford quite a nice apartment. (yay!) and oh, perhaps most important of all--there are days in houston when you're not stifled by heat and humidity. in fact, march is a nice month there.

the trip back was less than pleasant, due to fierce thunderstorms around dallas/fort worth. my plane from houston left an hour late, and had to be rerouted over corpus christi and san antonio to avoid weather before making it to dfw. (if you know texas geography at all, you will realize how out-of-the-way that routing is.)

so i landed in dallas one hour and 40 minutes late, and 40 minutes after my flight to san francisco was supposed to take off. however, the weather had kept my sfo plane on the ground and it was supposed to take off exactly 10 minutes from the time i landed. the plane from houston stopping at some podunk terminal and we were bussed over to the main terminal and dropped off at gate a0, and of course i had to get to gate a29, all the way at the other end. i jogged for about 15 gates, and then found one of those guys with the little cars to drive me the rest of the way. as i finally reached the gate, the ticket woman said "are you sarah?" apparently they had been waiting for me. i thought that was very nice, but then they decided to search my bags, which made me less appreciative. oh well.

so i cruise down the jetway and board the plane, everyone on board staring at me wondering why i am so late, and probably hating me for delaying the plane a few minutes past what had already been delayed for weather. we push back from the gate, but spend an unusually long amount of time sitting about 50 feet from the terminal. the captain finally comes on the explain that the little truck that pushes the plane back from the gate got the arm stuck on the nose gear--"nothing wrong with the plane, folks, just a problem with the arm"--and so now we have to wait for a few other planes to clear out before we can continue. finally we reach the taxiway, and sit. and sit. and sit. suddenly we all hear the unmistakable sound of the engines winding down. ugh.

sure enough, the captain comes on and jokes about the sound of silence, and explains that a ring of thunderstorms has conveniently enclosed the dallas airport, and that air traffic control has stopped all departures. i sit in my seat, my butt already beginning to ache, and watch the rain pour down outside. finally an hour later--at 8:00, two and a half hours after our originally scheduled departure time--we take off! hooray!

the flight itself was uneventful, and it is quite nice to be back "home" and see nick and emily and susan, who all gave me wonderfully belated presents for my birthday, since i wasn't here to celebrate with them on my actual birthday last week. they are awesome. so i am happy to be back in california, even if my room has a slightly funky odor from being shut up all week. it smells vaguely like nail polish remover. weird, eh?

and now, off to bed i go, looking forward to 1) seeing harry connick jr. in concert tomorrow, 2) opening day with the a's on monday, and 3) carter's arrival on wednesday.

houston is hotter today. la la la. here i am in ron's apartment. it's a bit strange, since i lived here the past two summers, and now all my stuff is gone and only ron's stuff remains. but i still somehow feel like it's my apartment. i guess because it's the first apartment i ever lived in. so to recap, i suppose: i am in my first apartment hanging out and bumming ron's computer while in houston to find what will be my second apartment. :) pretty simple.

it was another lovely day of doing pretty much nothing for me. i slept late, went to lunch with ron, edgar, chris and randy, took becca's car to see the insurance adjustor (joy of joys), picked up ron from work, got a haircut, and now i am headed to gavin and jen's for dinner. should be fun. tomorrow ron isn't going to work, so we are going to hang out all day! and i'm hoping to get ahold of chrissy and james as well to see them.

it's shaping up to be a great spring. carter is coming to visit next week (yay!), then iffy and alex are coming (triple yay!), then becca is planning to come for memorial day... it's funny. i think everyone has finally realized that i only have three months left in california, and that if they want to visit the bay area and have a free place to stay, they'd better visit soon. i certainly don't mind. :)

and finally, i am happy to see that katie sounds like she is feeling a lot better as the week has progressed, which makes me happy. i worry about my sister! she is awesome and i don't like it when she's upset!

i had the best birthday yesterday. :) i sort of thought no one would remember, but apparently i am very loved despite all my annoying quirks, because my phone wouldn't stop ringing. i heard from just about everyone important in my life at some point or the other; i think i probably used up all my cell phone minutes for the entire freaking month, and my ear was sore when i went to bed last night, but it was worth it. and then i got to go to the cheesecake factory for dinner with some of my friends here in houston, so yum yum yay yay.

now i am off to apartment shop. this is a short entry because becca needs her computer back to do some work. this would all be much easier if she had internet access in her apartment, but she is a lazy bum and doesn't have it. ha ha. she just read that comment and said "i love you too, sarah." ha ha ha.

off i go.

if i had a penny for every time today someone has asked me "why on earth did you come to houston for spring break??"... yeah. i'd be rich.

anyway, exotic destination it isn't, but i'm having a nice time so far in texas. i flew in saturday evening, and was quite happy to have found two nice ticket people in dallas who switched my ticket so that i could fly into hobby airport instead of all the way across town at intercontinental, meaning becca didn't have to drive nearly as far to pick me up. that night we had dinner with ron, i met her adorable puppy named apache (she is quite cute, though she is still very into the whole chewing-on-things stage), and then hung out at ron's apartment with chris and ethan.

yesterday we went to astroworld, which was a lot of fun since the weather wasn't too hot and the lines were short. if astroworld were always that pleasant, i might actually go more. but in july, i can't stand the lines and the heat. last night we came home, becca cooked a yummy dinner, and we drank wine while watching the oscars. poor becca has completely forgotten how to live like a college student, as she had to go to bed before the big awards were given out because she was so tired. i, on the other hand, had a fun time watching halle barry's incredulous reaction, denzel washington's graceful speech (i think he is just a great, great actor), and though i was hoping lord of the rings would win just because i liked the movie, i wasn't surprised that a beautiful mind took the prize. it was a fantastic movie as well.

anyway. this morning i took becca to work, then came home and slept some more. ;) ahhhh..... now i'm sitting at becca's desk, formerly my desk, waiting for the bosses to get back from afternoon meetings so i can go talk to them.

carter might come do the california baseball tour next week. yay! hmm. this is me not getting my hopes up. not getting my hopes up. not getting my hopes up...

nick called to say he has not starved due to lack of food. oh, and that he misses me. aw. it is pathetic, but i miss him too, after only two days of being gone. and we're not even dating. {sigh} weirdos.

away i go.

off to houston for the week! yay spring break!

so the other night, i was given reassurance that some males do actually find me attractive. it is really quite a funny story, but i'd rather not spell it out here. if you're interested, you'll have to ask me. heh. ; )

despite the constant misting rain, my aa241x (aircraft design) class headed outside today to test the half-scale model (wingspan of about 5 feet, just to give you an idea) of our airplane. for the record, i had nothing to do with the half-scale model, because i was busy working on the solar cells and propulsion system for the full-scale plane. you'll understand why i clear myself of responsibility in just a moment.

so we all head over to roble field, professor kroo holding the plane. we arrive, and he does a few quick jogs back and forth with the plane held high to see what sort of moments it's experiencing. professor alonso and pete, the t.a. who will be flying the plane, look on. the rest of the class makes jokes and prays that the thing will fly. i stand idly watching since i'm one of only 5 people there who didn't actually help build the model. but it's still a model of the plane we'll eventually build, and we want to see.

finally dr. kroo and dr. alonso and pete are ready to launch. most of the class is standing down at the other end of the field with the profs, while i stand a few hundred feet away with valerie, andy, and john. the plane is launched, and awkwardly climbs, but is starting to stabilize. the conversation goes something like this"

john: "cool, it flys."

valerie: "neat!"

andy: "yeeaaaah."

me: "uh oh."

we all watch as something oblong and white falls from the plane to the ground.

john: "something fell off."

andy: "uh oh."

we continue to watch as the plane turns and begins to glide over our heads.

valerie: "UH OH."

me: "oh crap!"

the plane floats past, makes a sharp left turn, stalls, and plunges 20 feet directly into the ground. the balsa wood fuselage shatters. the wing and tail are still perfectly intact, but the battery and nose counterweight fall out and lay among the shards of what used to be the fuselage. andy, valerie and i run over to the plane. the rest of the class runs toward us to see what happened. john goes to see what fell off.

class: "oh noooo!"

john walks up. "here's the problem, this fell off."

we all look to see what he is holding, expecting to see a servo or perhaps a control surface. instead, he is holding the propeller. we all stare for a second, and burst into laughter. fortunately they built a back-up fuselage, so a few people who will still be around tomorrow are going to attach the new fuselage and fly it again, hopefully with the propeller much more solidly attached.all in all,it was quite a funny experience. the propeller fell off! how absurd can you get? hours later, the whole scene is still cracking me up. hee hee hee. : )

maybe you had to be there...

something strange is going on with diaryland today, or maybe just with my computer. i can update, but i can't view anyone's diaries. weird.

i realized last night that the oscars are this coming sunday. that was quick. i guess perhaps becca and i can watch. that is, if she has a tv. heh. i have this image of her living in a really empty apartment, since she says she hasn't bought much furniture yet. not even a couch. i get to sleep on an air mattress that her new puppy will chew on. whee. ;)

i have a final today. i haven't studied. it's open book.

(8:48 p.m.)

sigh.

yes, sigh.

yesterday i made peanut butter cookies at breakers, which everyone thoroughly enjoyed. tonight, jake told me that he ate five yesterday, and had more today. that made me smile. he said he thinks these were my best cookies yet.

so i'm doing a lot of writing tonight, but not the fun kind of writing. instead, i am producing such jargon as:

"The effect of even wispy clouds is obvious--the power and current produced by the array on a cloudy day is only half of what is predicted for a sunny and cloudless day. These results only reinforce the enormous impact the weather will have on this aircraft's flight."

lovely, eh? dumb solar cells. i am tired of them. after tomorrow, i won't have to mess with them anymore unless i choose to. which i don't. instead of continuing this aircraft design class (which some people are doing, some people aren't...it's up to us, because it wasn't originally supposed to take more than a quarter), i am going to do independent research for dr. cantwell. he makes rockets. hehheh. cool.

in other news, i am back to being generally sarcastic and pessimistic about relationships. i saw a preview for a new cameron diaz movie last night, you know, one of those voiceovers: "so-and-so had given up on love..." (cut to shot of gorgeous cameron diaz crying big gorgeous tears and saying in a gorgeous way how much love sucks) "...but love hadn't given up on her..." (cut to shot of her randomly meeting some gorgeous man). to recap: boy, girl, some sort of problem that at first prevents them from being together, but i'm they eventually end up in love and everyone is happy. fade to black.

nobody ever makes movies about the girls who always hear the line "you're cute, but..." BUT....i just don't feel that way about you. ugh. sometimes i think that my life just repeats the plot of "my best friend's wedding" over and over again. not that all my best friends are marrying other people, but just the general idea. i like someone, then it becomes "you're cute, but..."

anyway, don't mind me. i'm just being difficult tonight. :)

oh, i finally posted pictures from the e206 presentations last friday. unfortunately, the disassembly of phatman has already begun. yesterday i had to go get the actuator magnet to return to the guy who let us borrow it, and in slicing the magnet off the wooden crossbar where it was glued, the flimsy balsa wood broke. not that phatman can do anything without his magnet anyway.

but before i took his magnet, i turned him on one last time and watched him balance. oh, he was such a good phatman. may he rest in peace.

i am really tired of school, and not looking forward to spending most of today in the lab hooking up stupid solar cells to make a motor and propeller run. but that's what i have to do. ugh. i'm so tired of school. i keep telling myself that there is only one more quarter, and then i will have a master's degree. and the m.s. is something that i definitely do want for myself. but i am so tired of being in school. maybe i've finally reached the point that everyone else reaches midway through undergrad. that's why reasonable people take jobs, eh.

nick asked me last night..."sarah, why are you going to houston?" i didn't realize that every time i mention moving to houston, it is in the context of being upset that i'm leaving gorgeous california for yucky houston. he's never heard me say anything that indicates i'm excited about moving and starting a full-time job.

i dunno. sometimes i really am excited. other times i know it's just the safe thing to do. but for better or for worse, that's where i'm headed.

what good is having a crush when your crushes always end up dating someone before you get up the guts to ask them out? argh. both my crushes of recent memory are now "dating" people. or at least pseudo-dating. whatever. i should just develop a crush on someone completely unattainable, then i couldn't be disappointed when they don't develop a crush on me as well. :)

last night i was emailing carter and saying that i hope he comes out here to visit and see all the ballparks he wants to see. in the middle, i suddenly thought "well, let's see if it's really doable or not" and so i looked up the june schedules for the giants, a's, dodgers, padres, angels, diamondbacks, and even mariners. this can totally be done. if you resign yourself to flying to seattle instead of driving, the trip can be done: 7 teams, 7 ballparks, two finals, and one master's degree from stanford in 16-17 days in june. all for less than $1000 per person for everything.

i'd love to do this! preferably with someone, preferably with carter since he is the big baseball fan and i know how much he would love it. if i can talk him into it, i have absolutely no reservations about going, since my travel apprehensions usually arise only when i'm going solo. if carter isn't up for it, perhaps alex or iffy would be. but i'd like to do the west coast baseball tour regardless. we'll see. i'm definitely going to do something this summer. i refuse to go straight to houston to start my boring ol' job. i want a final summer travel fling before i go.

so far today: unshowered, incredibly sleepy, sore, slight headache, in fear of the pile of papers on the corner of my desk. hmm. feeling quite aimless. and hungry.

(pause to call nick to see if he wants to go to lunch. he doesn't. however, on another note, he does have a massive crush on someone. roll my eyes. and he talked to christina last night. feel slightly jilted, then roll my eyes again. ugh. i have issues. i am stupid.)

in search of a new song, any song, as long as it's good. still have to do the dumb stanjan propulsion problem. don't understand why we have to do a homework problem that requires us only to figure out how to run some dos executable that will give us the exit velocity of some engine. remind myself that this is the very last thing to do for propulsion, so it can't be all that bad. sunny outside.

(pause to check the weather channel page. decide it's stupid to check a webpage when i can just go outside. go outside in my pajamas. come back in. return to computer.)

yup, it's cold. well, chilly anyway. about to put on some clothes and head to breakers where i will watch nick fix me a sandwich, feel bad that he is being so nice and making me sandwiches, but not make a move to do it myself. oh well. feeling very apathetic today. wanting to talk to someone cheerful and without complication. :)

when i woke up at 7 a.m. this morning, it was raining and cold outside. not exactly the thing i needed to inspire me to get up, get dressed, drive 35 miles to dublin, california and run in their st. patrick's day 5k. especially since i haven't been running in two weeks now because of visiting friends and mounds of schoolwork that kept me busy from dawn to midnight.

but i did it anyway. 32:07, my fastest 5k yet! by june, i'll definitely be running sub-30:00, no problem, if i keep this up. i really feel that i am already in much better shape than i was at the beginning of this quarter, and know that i'll only get better. :)

on the way back from the race, i was the recipient of a random act of kindness, and it has left me quite happy with the world in general. to get to dublin, i had to go across the bay, which means crossing one of the many bridges. i headed across the dumbarton bridge, happy as could be. of course, i completely forgot to think about the fact that there might be a toll on my way home, because the freaking bridges in this area only charge tolls one way. (which, i know, is nice of them not to get you both going and coming, but it confuses me nonetheless when i can cross one way without paying because i inevitably forget that i might have to pay on the way back.)

anyway, the signage approaching the bridge was bad, and i didn't realize that yes, indeed, there was a toll for westbound traffic until i was 300 yards from the toll booth with no way of exiting the highway. i didn't even have $2 on me--all i had was 6 dimes and a handful of pennies. i was hoping the toll guy would somehow be understanding, but of course he wasn't. i explained that all i had was about 60 cents and hadn't realized i would have to pay a toll because i'm not from around here and had never crossed this bridge. which is all true. he harassed me for not knowing that "all bridges have tolls, even the ones back east." (which, for the record, is of course not true...the huge bridges i have crossed over the mississippi river in louisiana and also in st. louis, and the giant yellow bridge over the entrance to the port of houston are merely three examples of toll-free bridges.)

so he walked around to the front of my car to get my license plate number, but of course there was no plate there since my car is registered in north carolina, so, grumbling even more, he walked around to the back and was starting to take down my plate number when a white truck pulled up behind me and the driver called "i'll pay her toll." so the grumbling toll booth man waved me on, and i shouted "thank you!!" and now i am forever grateful to the mystery man in the white truck who paid my toll. nice to know that random acts of kindness do actually exist.

the moral of the story: strangers can be really great. oh, and always keep a few bucks stashed in your glovebox.

(11:13 p.m.)

sleepy. about to crawl into bed with my book and some hot tea. don't have to get up for class tomorrow, and yet have this nagging feeling that i am forgetting something. this is perhaps one of the most disconcerting feelings of all. there is nothing in my planner. am currently trying to ignore nagging feeling. thinking about sitting outside tomorrow in my butterfly chair. if only the warm weather would return.

drafted my fantasy baseball team tonight, think it turned out pretty well. better than last year. my pitching won't dominate as much, but my hitting should be much improved. notables i managed to snag for my team: curt schilling and chipper jones (keepers from last year's team), barry bonds, matt morris, roberto alomar. solid relievers in keith foulke and trevor hoffman. biggest disappointment was that edgar got away with greg maddux in the 4th round (second round after we each took back our keepers), two picks before i was set to take him. boo. i wanted maddux back. maybe i'll propose a trade.

crap. just remembered what i have to do tomorrow. turn in the final propulsion homework problem that was to be done via computer program. crap. poop. oh well. will do it in the morning.

every so often i get a very slick-looking newsletter from the georgia tech architecture department. i was never an architecture student, but i get the newsletter because i was once a member of the symphonic band, and the music department at tech is under the wings of the college of architecture. the amazing thing to me is that i can receive this beautifully done update on the events of the music and architecture programs merely because for one year, i played in the band...while i get absolutely nothing from the aerospace department, or even from the college of engineering. i find the architecture update interesting, and have a feeling i would enjoy an account of the current events in the engineering school even more...but i get no such thing, probably because there is no one to do it, or no one has ever thought of the idea. how unfortunate. maybe i should go back to tech and create an alumni newsletter for the college of engineering.

hey, it's the ides of march. christina's favorite holiday.

the fatigue has been hitting me in the early afternoon lately. as it is today. we just finished showing off phatman's dance to an appreciative audience, and now i am spent. exhausted. i want to crawl into a dark, dark hole and sleep for weeks.

instead, i have a meeting in an hour and a half. and a reception for the aero/astro visit day people at 5. and a cookout and party for them at 6. and jammix tonight at 10.

i can't believe i'm actually complaining that i have three different social engagements for the rest of today; normally this would make me feel quite popular and proud of myself. today, i am just tired.

tired, but happy. phatman worked, and e206 is over. that makes 3 classes over, and only 2 still to go. and one of those two will be quite easy.

i'm gonna go get some coffee. mmmmm, coffee.

today was a glorious, glorious day.

1. the propulsion final was easy.
2. i had a nice lunch with doritos on my sandwich, which is surprisingly good.
3. i went to the lab and within an hour, we had phatman working. for real. as in, he was done. !! HOORAY!! the key was stators. freaking stators. there was nothing wrong with our control design, in fact, the control design was perfect. the problem was that the fans swirled the air. stators straightened it out and bam, the relationship of our actuator was linear. phatman works. he dances. AW YEAH. the presentations are tomorrow, so i'll take pictures.
4. i had a good conversation this morning.
5. i heard an astronaut speak and was inspired.
6. i ended the day with a pitcher of beer at the treehouse with aaron, mike, and steve, three of my favorite boys.

all in all, the quarter is finishing swimmingly.

left my room at 9:00 a.m., returned just now. so basically, i can sum up the day as being: long, tiring, interesting, sad, and happy. heh.

we finished learning the basic moves to cha cha this morning in dance class. i have found that i really like cha cha, for some unknown reason...i'm looking forward to jammix on friday night, where i'll get to practice my dancing and forget about this hellish week because almost everything will be done and turned in. :)

this afternoon we presented our term projects in my me215, a.k.a. "touchy feely" class. it was by far the best class we'd had all quarter. it is so inspiring to see what other people are capable of when they put their minds to it. one girl is about to set out on a bike ride from portland, oregon to portland, maine...just because she wants to do it. another guy finally starting taking flying lessons and will soon get his pilot's license. nick found a paid gig as a dancer. one guy is establishing a long-ignored relationship with his stepmother. it was neat. i felt very out-of-place. my project was to start the long road towards writing a book. i did a lot more thinking than writing, and i discovered that what i like to write--and what i write best, i think--are personal stories or feelings. i don't know if my musings have any hope of ever being profitable to a publishing company (which i guess they would have to be in order for someone to want to publish them), but maybe someday...

i had a piano lesson, and enjoyed dinner. i studied. i talked to carter, who i hadn't talked to in weeks. that was very nice. i studied for the propulsion test tomorrow. i ate half of nick's turkey, cheese, and dorito sandwich.

just a day, just an ordinary day...

tomorrow we pull the phatman all-nighter.

how can it be tuesday already? tonight: flute. tomorrow: e206 quiz and me215 term project presentations. thursday: propulsion final. friday: e206 projects (phatman) due. weekend: solar cell junk, soldering an 30-cell array, testing it. next week: aa241x and aerodynamics finals.

i'm sitting here staring at the monitor trying to think of something to write, and nothing is coming to mind.

i got shot up today. hepatitus a in the right arm, hepatitus b in the left. thank god i didn't need another tetanus, as i don't have three arms, so where would they have put it? anyway. now i'm ready to go to mexico. si.

i talked to christina this afternoon. she is amazing. i so often wish that i could be like her, and have the healthy outlook that she does. i let things affect me so strongly. yesterday i felt worthless. today i just feel nothing. this week's allowance of tears has been used up i guess.

my credit card company sent me a booklet that summarizes all my charges for the entire year of 2001. it is neat. i can see what i spent all my money on. my most expensive purchase was $847.30 for the aerospace shirts that aiaa sold last spring. ok, so that doesn't really count, because i got reimbursed. so the most expensive purchases of things for me are: $734.38 for my beautiful monitor and other assorted computer things on october 27, $666.50 and $658.00 on a plane ticket to europe and back and a eurail pass to use while there, and $358.53 on a plane ticket to san francisco to visit stanford back in april. $235 for a new set of contacts. $280.77 for my beautiful bicycle. not counting europe and san fran, i still spent almost $1000 on plane tickets. boo for spending money, but yay for travel.

anyway. that is my credit card spending. i know, the excitement abounds.

(9:50 p.m.)

my arms hurt. the nurse said the shots wouldn't make my arms hurt, but she probably didn't know that i would be playing flute for two hours tonight. we have our concert tomorrow. unfortunately, nick and susan's dance exhibition is the same night. so i won't get to see the dance, and i don't think they'll get to see our concert. that stinks.

this afternoon was weird. i was in the a/a library and all of a sudden i just decided that being mopey wouldn't be any fun for anyone else, and so i cheered up. i don't understand how i am able to do that, and yet i am not able to prevent myself from falling so down in the dumps in the first place. i waffle back and forth from thinking that 1) there is something wrong with me to 2) thinking that there is something wrong with everyone else to 3) thinking that there is something wrong with the world in general and people are just unfortunate enough to be subjected to it to 4) nothing is wrong with the world, and that the world is just as much or as little as we make of it. does anyone else feel this way or am i just crazy?? <-- yes, that is a serious question. i know that i am responsible for my own happiness, and that no one person can "save" me. heh. there has been much talk lately about saving people.

anyway, i am beginning to ramble, and this type of rambling is more appropriate for my paper journal.

it is really hard to believe that september 11 was six months ago. time always manages to fly past...

my opinion is that most of the time, it's necessary to think about how some of your actions will affect other people. i don't think it's proper to do every thing you want to do exactly when you want to do it; in fact, i think it's extremely selfish. other people disagree with me.

i was supposed to run in a 5k today. it would have been gorgeous, through the presidio in the shadow of the golden gate bridge. i slept through it. i feel like sleeping and never waking up.

well, i took chris and christina to the airport this morning and their plane should have taken off about 10 minutes ago. i thought that i might actually feel relieved to send them off, because their departure allows me to get caught up on everything i neglected over the course of the past week...but i wasn't relieved at all. i was sort of sad. i had a really great time with them in town and it was great to be able to spend so much time with them after not seeing them for months. i didn't really want them to leave. i mean, i know we all have our own lives to get back to, but i was still disappointed to see them go. i had a really, really fantastic week because they were here. i hope they had fun too.

so today there will be no touristy outings to the beach or to the city, and instead i will spend the afternoon and probably a good portion of the evening playing around in the lab with phatman. we've got less than a week until he has to be working fully--the final presentations are on friday--so i suspect i will be spending a lot of time in the lab over the next six days. not to mention i have a lot of homework from this past week to catch up on, and oh yeah, we also have our propulsion final on thursday. yikes. the good news is that spring break is almost here! i bought my plane ticket to houston a week or so ago, and need to get in touch with becca and ron to arrange things...but i'll worry about that after this week.

i want more visitors.

mmm, boy, i am really tired. chris and christina get to sleep late every day, while i still have to get up and go to class. not fair. ;(

yesterday we had lunch with chris's mom's cousin and family. the wife, gerri, works at apple so we met them there and got a brief tour. i didn't get the ipod i was hoping they would just plop into my hands, but oh well. heh. anyway, i thought the place was really cool...not because of the buildings or the setting or anything, but just because all the employees seemed very happy. gerri couldn't stop gushing about how great her boss was, and how steve jobs has really turned the company around since he came back. the visit really made me want to think about working in industry rather than for the government; however, i think the aerospace industry is quite different than the computer one. working for lockheed wouldn't be as cushy as working for apple. at least i don't think so.

it's chris and christina's last day here. it's been a hectic week juggling them and class (they are obviously more important than class, but i can't just skip), and i will miss them once they're gone again.

happy birthdays to david and james! i can't believe my brother is 22. i can't believe in 20 days i will be 24. sometimes i feel so old, and a sense of anxiety about my future and its uncertainly overwhelms me...the feeling that i should have a "plan." but other times, when i am less stressed by school and work and life in general, i realize that a hell of a lot has happened in the past 24 years, and in another 24 years, i won't even be 50 yet. i mean, if you want to think outright funny...24 years ago, i didn't know how to walk or talk or take care of myself, and now i can do them all with ease. heh. not to mention the fact that i'm well educated, have great friends, a great family, and a new job on the horizon. so in the really, really grand scheme of things, i'm doing ok, eh? ;)

chris and christina are up in the city today, as i had class literally from 9-5 with only an hour break for lunch. they were going to go to alcatraz, and i think muir woods as well...i'm about to give them a call to see what they're up to. tico and i are meeting them for dinner up in sausalito at 7:30, so that should be fun. and it gives me an hour right now to get some homework done, an un-fun but necessary activity.

on the way home, i bought some girl scout cookies. mmmmmmm.

ugh. i am feeling stressed. here i am with two great friends visiting, and all i want to do is hang out with them...and yet in the back of my mind is this lingering cloud of other things that somehow need to get done this week. calibrating the photo cells for our e206 project. retesting solar cells for our aa241 propulsion group. the massive e206 assignment due friday (i'm going to beg ted for an extension). aa200a homework also due friday (fortunately it can be turned in monday without penalty, so that's when i'll turn it in.) i'm not complaining though. falling behind this week is a small price to pay for seeing friends.

today ended up being both an active and quiet day. we spent the early afternoon touring campus and walking up into the foothills for an absolutely fantastic view of the bay. i had to leave for a few hours for class, but chris and christina ran into nick and got to hang out with him. we went to this restaurant downtown called "pasta?" for dinner, and played in the apple store, and had ice cream. we then headed home early to sit around and veg out and watch tv. chris and christina were tired from all the walking, not to mention some lingering jet lag. they're downstairs, but i won't be surprised if i go down in a minute to find them both asleep in front of the tv. :)

oh! as promised, here is a picture of nick and me at viennese ball last friday. though the cheesy pose was his idea...

chris and christina and i had a nice day today. yesterday i think i wrote that i was really glad to see christina, and i didn't say anything about chris...because christina and i had just been up talking, which we haven't done in a while. but it is great to see chris as well. i really do have great friends, and i'm really glad that two of them were able to come out here to visit.

today i went to class (boring) and then came home to fetch c&c. we had lunch with nick at the treehouse, and nick let us borrow his convertible for the afternoon to drive up into the city! we went to fisherman's wharf, ghirardelli square, the golden gate bridge, golden gate park, lombard street, and watched the sun set into the clouds over the pacific. they went to target while i had flute ensemble, then we had a late dinner at this noodle place in downtown palo alto, and coffee at the university cafe. tomorrow i think we're going to hang out around campus and enjoy the sunshine. :)

it's funny, atlanta. i don't want it back, and yet i miss it desperately. it's weird to think of living another sixty years and never having again the same thing i had then. i imagine that i will find closeness in different ways, but wow, what an environment college was. i don't think i really consider this year at stanford to be part of my "college" experience. it's so different in so many ways.

there is a lot more i could say along that line of thought, but i am having trouble thinking of the words, so i'll postpone it for now.

christina has been spending a lot of time lately with carter and kent. it is odd to think of how she has sort of fallen into what used to be my "place." i used to be the third corner of that triangle, and now she is. it doesn't really bother me as much as it just puts me in a contemplative and nostalgic mood. i'm glad she is discovering what an amazing pair those two can be.

it is so nice to see christina. i have missed her so much.

i woke up today with my feet still in enormous amounts of pain, but my face also still smiling (through the grogginess of morning). the ball last night was a lot of fun. i love dancing with nick. basically, i just love hanging out with nick in general, and dancing makes it even more fun. the only disappointment was that i didn't dance with anyone except nick. i figured viennese ball would be sort of like jammix with fancy dresses, and that when nick was busy preparing for the vintage dance performance that he was in, there would be plenty of other guys for me to dance with. instead, everyone was glued to their dates. no one danced with anyone else, and so when nick wasn't available, i just sort of stood around. so that part was sort of a bummer...but the rest was quite fun.

yes, i love dancing with nick. we got off to a slow start; the first dance was a really fast waltz, and my shoes turned out to not be very good waltzing shoes. i wished i had brought my real dance shoes, but i hadn't. we moved to the swing room soon enough though, and that was tons of fun. i think i am really getting much better, at least i hope i am. i am not a very good dancer, but nick makes me feel like i'm better than i actually am, and he doesn't care when i mess up. in fact, when i mess up, he usually says it was fine anyway. and he got me a corsage. i've never gotten a corsage before; i guess that's what happens when you don't go to prom in high school. still, i was quite excited about it.

you know, if i could date a guy who treats me half as well as nick treats me, i would be really lucky.

we took a picture of ourselves all dressed up, but nick is having trouble downloading it from his camera, so i don't have it to post here yet.

this afternoon i talked to chris and christina, who are coming out here tomorrow to visit! i also talked to james, which was a surprise. i have been meaning to email him for some time, but i've been really slack with all of my email these days. he had been with chris earlier and was disgruntled that chris hadn't thought to let him talk to me, so he called! it was really nice, we got all caught up on each others' lives. he has been spending a lot of weekends in houston with chrissy, so maybe i'll even get to see him when i got down there for spring break.

in other random news, carter and kent took off today for orlando to go to a disney rollercoaster park and see two braves spring training games. i really envy their ability to just take off and go. it's weird, because i know that neither one of them is exactly in their ideal situation these days--kent suffering through grad school when he never even wanted to go to grad school, and carter suddenly with more free time on his hands than he wanted after the job crap. still...i envy them. i am so busy with school these days that i don't really even have time to be overtly social, but i still miss being at tech where i had a fairly large, but also very tight group of friends. here, if nick, emily, and susan are all busy, then i really don't have anyone to call and say "hey, do you randomly want to go to fry's with me?" or anything like that. much less take off to see spring training games. i guess what they say about college being the most freedom you'll ever have is really true. undergrad, that is, not graduate school. ;)

anyway, aaron and i are off to buy a lightbulb for our e206 project, since i managed to completely fry the one we had. i hooked it up and turned on the power source...bad idea. someone had turned the power source off while it was still set to 10 volts, and i didn't think to check first. since the poor little lightbulb can only handle about 3 volts, it flashed in a burst of glory and then went dark forever. ugh. this is why i should not be allowed to do anything dealing even remotely with circuits. anyway. off we go to replace it.

(1:06 a.m.)

i just got back from seeing amelie, a french movie, with susan. it was such a cute film! it made me want to go back to paris soooo badly; it also made me wish for the umpteenth time that falling in love was as easy as depicted in movies. in any case, it was a great choice, and i highly recommend seeing it. and that is all i have to say, since i'm off to bed. tomorrow i have to get up in time to do laundry and calibrate phatman's sensors before christina and chris get here for their visit. :)

note to self: unless in very good state of mind, never ever call atlanta friends on friday afternoons. why? because they are inevitably either already together, or making plans to get together, and then i am disappointed that i can't join them. if i were not so tired, i wouldn't be disappointed. however, it has been a long week, and so i was slightly sad i couldn't join them all for dinner.

that said, i am quite excited about my own plans for tonight! it's finally the night of the viennese ball! i have my dress, i have my shoes, and i am ready to waltz and swing and polka and tango and just generally dance the night away. i will post pictures tomorrow hopefully.

cecile sat down next to me in class today and said the cutest thing. "good morning sarah. last night at 2 a.m. someone knocked on my door, but i was asleep so i didn't answer it. what if it was the man of my dreams?" the comment itself is funny enough, but now picture it said by a diminutive and always smiling girl who is half french and half japanese, looks more japanese than french, but has the most adorable french accent ever. it was great.

my friend steve got engaged on wednesday! this is the same steve that is in my e206 lab group, where we're building phatman, which i posted pics of a while ago. his fiance, fiona, is earning her m.b.a. in france this year, and she came to visit for a long weekend. and he proposed on wednesday night! steve is such a terrific guy, and fiona seems great as well. it is so exciting!

anyway. off to shower and hopefully take a quick nap before dinner and the ball.