getting older

sometimes in a conversation, i hear something that triggers this enormous chain of thoughts that i don't really like. it happened today on the way back from lunch.

    i find myself comparing the events in my life to those in others, and wondering whether mine should match theirs. in some instances, i really wish i could say i'd done the things or had the experiences my friends have had. i imagine what would have had to happen in my life to get me to where i wish i was...and most maddening is when i see a fork in the road, and realize that i walked the wrong way.

    for the most part, i think i tend to take the right path. sometimes though, my insecurities get the better of me. when away from the group, i am more reserved than i ever want to be.